onionbagblog

As mentioned in the @audioboo below, I do believe that I have finally found a solution to the lack of swimming pools soon to be open in Lambeth. With the Rotten Borough about to close all three pools, the answer to my daily swimming dilemma can be found over in the West End.

A friendly, clean, outdoor (gosh) pool? Blimey. Why then has it taken me the best part of fifteen years to finally take a plunge in to the brilliant Oasis outdoor pool on Endell Street?

A bit of business to attend in town, and so I thought I would put to use my GLL Swim London card. Clap’ham has been something of a challenge of late. I love the old pool to bits, but the daily routine of putting in the lengths in a sterile, soulless indoor pool, was becoming something of a routine.

Time for a new challenge, time to explore the GLL website, documenting exactly where my Swim London membership allows me access to. Brockwell Lido was well off the radar, whereas the lovely London Fields Lido was part of the package, if slightly off the radar when it comes to a midwinter cycle.

And then - aye, aye, what’s this? Oasis Pool, right in the heart of London’s glittering West End? Gosh. I’ll have a bit of that then.

I’ve no idea why it has taken fifteen years of London living for me to finally swim in the Oasis outdoor pool. I’ve known of its existence, yet somehow swam elsewhere. That’s what living close to a truly stunning Olympic size art deco lido does to a young man.

And so I rolled up to WC2, swiped my GLL card at reception, and was then led on a voyage of uncertainty and discovery, and one, which one-hour later, would leave me grinning for the rest of the afternoon.

There’s something rather special about swimming in any new pool. There’s the uncertainty of an unfamiliar changing room routine; the anticipation of a new pool in which test yourself, and the pleasure of meeting new, like-minded swimming freaks.

Add into the equation the Oasis effect of a 29 degrees outdoor pool with steam rising as fast as the rain fell, and you can see why my mid-morning dip was genuinely one of the highlights of the festive season.

You feel special at Oasis, as soon as you have made the morally superior decision to swim outdoors. Straight out of the changing rooms and you are presented with a choice - a left turn for the identikit indoor pool, or eyes right for the outdoor walk into the uncertainty of the lido environment.

Which way d’ya reckon I walked?

Once water bound, I knew from previous experiences that I had to swim ASAP. The water was tepid, but the air outside wasn’t. The coldness hits you with each rotation of the neck to take on air. Best to keep on breathing, etc, but it made it bloody cold as I lifted my head out of the water after every four strokes.

The pool itself is clean, well-kept and fast flowing. I encountered little resistance as I put the lengths in. Instead of the Clap’ham jet stream that propels you away from the shallow end, the closest I came to being put off-stroke was the odd floating leaf.

I took pity on the poor lifeguard, sheltering from the sleet, yet still doing a fine job on duty. Lidos are wonderful, enchanting places during more pleasant climes; they can be pretty crappy places when you are reduced to taking cover in the slipstream of the rising steam.

Forty lengths later and I felt full of life. It wasn’t quite the epiphany of the Brockwell Icicle experience, but it was the change of routine that my Clap’ham days throughout the autumn months have been begging for.

I’ll probably be back very soon, either through enforcement as the Rotten Borough fails to implement any form of leisure policy, or simply through enjoyment and a love of outdoor swimming.

Legend has it that to be a bona fide @BrockwellLido Icicle, you have to swim in the waters of Lake Brockwell for 365 days of a calendar year, and on one of those days, forge a path for your fellow bathers by breaking the ice with your bare hands.

The urban myth became reality at midday on the winter solstice around the icy waters of SE24. Fresh water swimming enthusiasts gathering for the third annual midwinter swim were greeted by a glacier pool more suited to curling than front crawl.

The initiation of the old Brockwell Icicles Swimming Club was in serious doubt for a short while. What would it take to cancel the event, I asked the lovely Jeremy, Fusion’s man on the ground. “Ice so thick that we can’t break it,” came the reply.

A bit of Brockwell improvisation later, and the hidden talent of a stepladder as an icebreaker soon paved the way for the fools and the folly that followed.

Brockwell was bloody cold on those sad, final days of the summer season (yeah, right…) back at the end of October. The onset of the winter chill has seen the water temperature hover around freezing point. What were those crazy ladies thinking of, when they turned up to Brockwell Park with nothing but their bikinis?

I came prepared for the endurance. A wetsuit and a bright pink day glow swimming hat - if I got into trouble having hit an iceberg, I wanted to make sure that at least my head was still visible.

A pre-swim briefing and a consent form signed (alcohol in the past twenty-four hours? Not me, Sir…) and it was time to get stripped off. By this stage and my body and mind was already in another dimension. This is one of the highlights of the year for me. I couldn’t wait to re-enter the water of what has been my official summer home for the past fifteen years.

Much like those balmy (and slightly tepid) summer days, you’ve overcome the main mental obstacle by simply turning up. Once you are by the waters edge, then yep - yer gonna swim - or even splash and splutter around like a big girl wearing a skimpy bikini.

I launched myself into a frantic front crawl. My body had no reaction. My mind experienced a head rush that no comparison with illegal substances combined with carnal pleasure could possibly compare to. Now wouldn’t have been a good time to experiment with illegal substances and carnal pleasures.

It was when I made it to the centre of the pool that I first started to panic. My path was blocked by huge chunks of ice that had survived the earlier stepladder purge. I was isolated, with solid and not liquid around me.

Eeek.

With a pair of goggles to protect my eyelids from freezing over, I dived down deep below the beautiful blue waters of Lake Brockwell, and found a gap within the ice in which to emerge. Still no reaction from my torso, but I was grinning with a smile as wide as the gap in the ice itself.

I wanted more, but by now, my body was physically incapable of continued movement. My toes were starting to lock, and I could feel the sensation rapidly moving upwards. Time to get out, time for some TLC @TheLidoCafe.

Cripes - that felt absolutely fantastic. I could cycle away from SE24, take on board as many illegal substances, and indulge in all the carnal pleasures fit for a King, knowing that I had achieved something with my day; I had achieved something with my week and even with my year. Anything is possible now.

We swim outdoors because we can. It’s as simple as that. So can you. Why be held hostage inside a soulless, sweaty indoor environment? The heated (sort of) lido at London Fields is open all year, and is a good place to start. Tooting and the lovely South London Swimming Club should be your next progression.

This is not a loner, isolated individual activity either. Sure, you do the swim for yourself, but the sense of community around Brockwell continues to grow. These are the people I spend half my year with, and so meeting up during the winter months to catch up on all the gossip has got to be worth the ice experience in itself.

With a donation made to the nearby Wheels for Wellbeing charity (recently the victim of a shocking arson attack,) all that was then left for me was to pick up my Brockwell Icicles badge, designed by a number of local artists and commissioned specifically for the midwinter swim.

The Brockwell Icicles initiation is now firmly established on the calendar of lido events. Hitting gold / ice with a genuine frozen pool experience added to the ocassion. Four months and counting before the Best Day of the Year in South London…

Inspired by the brilliant Robson Green Wild Swimming Adventure on ITV1 (blimey) this week? Feel ready for the Brockwell Icicles initiation ceremony? Fancy some ice skating instead?

Yep - that time of year again.

Come on in, the water’s…

Lido Life Begins at… 80

Giggsy? Murray? Strauss? Nah. Highlight of Sports Personality, 2009, will be a lido loving pensioner lifting the Unsung Heroes award. Step doggy paddle forward 86 year-old Doreen Fitch, aka Mrs Tooting Lido. Doreen has been involved with the South London Swimming Club since the 1940’s, and has led two successful campaigns to keep the SW12 outdoor pool open. It’s the blueprint that has helped Brockwell Lido Users to become so influential. Oh how we could do with the passion and campaigning skills of Doreen, down in the Rotten Borough, right now.

Hyper Hyper Local Level

This is rather lovely. From the charming couple that brought you Stockwell Stories (I’m simply the shop front,) Bill and Jayne from around this manor have started blogging - and with real purpose as well. The couple are remarkable campaigners for local housing rights. Bill is currently the Chair of the Grantham Road Residents Association, holding Hyde Southbank Homes to account over recent lease hikes. A real purpose for the hyper local model.

And finally…

The South London / blogging / cycling / lido loving / @lambeth_council disliking xmas tweeup will be on… well, you decide. Dates between 20th - 23rd have been suggested. @Jason_Cobb for further dialogue.

It all started with a throwaway remark to @LloydDavis last Friday at The ICA cafe:

“Why don’t you take Tuttle South of the river to @BrockwellLido?”

It was said in jest, and with some amount of smug, self-interest. But as Tuttle continues to find a new permanent home, there is some justification for staging a weekly geeky meet up South of the river at everyone’s favourite cafe by the water.

I’m in no way suggesting that Tuttle should set up shop permanently by the waters of Lake Brockwell. The group is far too big for both the space, and the location. Any central Tuttle gathering needs to remain just that. Slipping out of the office for a cappuccino at the ICA on a Friday can be excused; trekking down to deepest South London and aresing about by the lido, probably wouldn’t go down too well with the boss.

But I do think that South London could support a weekly social media offline discussion. Transition Town Brixton has used the online tools to help roll out the Brixton £; the mighty Urban75 and its ever growing community is based South of the river, as are some of the best bloggers in the capital.

All of this is just thinking out aloud. Tuttle seems to just happen, but I appreciate that @LloydDavis has more or less it made it a full time going concern. Preparation behind the scenes is immense to facilitate the weekly conversation.

But if enough people are thinking along similar lines to me, then maybe we should make a move?

A few obvious questions need to be answered before Brockwell Lido Tuttle comes into being:

Would we be welcome? Um - best ask @theLidoCafe.

When should Lido Tuttle take place? Weekly? Monthly?

Would the @theLidoCafe WIFI support the demand? Haven’t pushed it to full capacity yet.

Would there be sufficient interest South of the river? Seek and you shall find. You can only criticise someone who has actually tried something.

Would the South London public transport network support the venue? Probably not. The Lido is a pain to get to via public transport. We’d be looking at walking or cycling, which would definitely limit the reach of the Tuttle crowd.

I think I’ll wait and see what direction, both geographically, and in terms of group dynamics, that the Tuttle crowd decides upon over the next week or so. I’m personally in favour of a North / South / East / West gathering, either in rotation, or as stand-alone sessions. A coming together of the clan, once a month, would also help this to work.

The South will rise - and drink coffee, and talk about online and offline networking, and enjoy the view form the lovely lido cafe - again…

Halloween, and a young man’s thoughts turn towards the witching hour down at Herne Hill. Events conspired for the fragrant mrs onionbagblogger and I to head south bound to SE24, for an afternoon and evening of freakish fun, in what can often be the forgotten corner of South London.

First up was the inaugural Herne Hill Expo [pdf] The rather fanciful name may be out of character for an area not usually known for its self-promotion. The geographical positioning of being trapped between the borders of Lambeth and Southwark makes Herne Hill something of an ostracised hermit within the local area.

Improving the local environment and putting in place tangible benefits for the community, is often at the whim of the rival political parties that divide and govern Herne Hill. It may not be quite an iron fist, but Lambeth Labour and the LibDems of Southwark don’t make for the best of bedfellows. Caught in the middle of course are the constituents.

The idea behind the Expo is to make a start at transforming this image. At its most crude level, the afternoon was seen as an opportunity for service providers (@lambeth_council) to engage with the electorate on a non-political platform. Good intentions, but how do you entice the locals out into the street for an afternoon of meet ‘n greet with some local politicians?

A visible campaign has built up around Herne Hill over recent weeks, spreading the message of The Expo. At the centre of this message has been the transformation of the Herne Hill tunnel from a dimly lit p*** alley at the side of the railway station, to become a public work of art that stimulates debate and awareness.

A couple of local artists have created a wordscape design, running from one end of the tunnel to the other. This has served as a stimulus for the main event on Saturday afternoon, the Herne Hill Hunt.

Organisers of The Expo identified early on that an activity had to be in place in order to get people to come out and participate. With much of Herne Hill being hidden, the treasure hunt was the perfect vehicle for letting people know that there’s much more to the area than being a political boundary borough.

My Treasure Hunting companion and I approached our Herne Hill afternoon rather late in the day, with the skies already beginning to bruise over SE24. The magnificent sight of a young couple cycling on a tandem, decked out in tweed and with a trail of tin cans and a Just Married sign on their back, convinced us that yep, there is much more to Herne Hill than simply traffic congestion.

We kept with the two wheels theme, and with the aid of an iPhone and a little help from following a young mother and child around on a bike, more or less managed to keep on course with the various checkpoints.

Our lack of Herne Hill knowledge was no hindrance - this was the whole point of the Hunt, to try and learn something new about the area. The clues were clever (‘look for a noble emporium‘ - Noble’s newsagents of course,) and in the time frame of just over an hour, we had traversed the triangle taking in Denmark Hill, Herne Hill and Half Moon Lane.

A brief stop off back at Expo HQ to hand in the forms, and then we headed across the Dulwich Road to the lovely @thelidocafe. Much like the Herne Hill Hunt, our timing wasn’t great. Too late for lunch, an hour or so early for the Halloween menu [pdf] put together by chef.

No worries, the Lido Cafe are an accommodating crowd; a delightful chorizo sausage served with fries, plus buttermilk squash ravioli for the lady, all washed down with some red wine and we were ready for stage three of the Herne Hill Halloween experience.

I was tempted to see if I could sneak out around the back the lido cafe for a cheeky, moonlit Halloween dip. But that would just be irresponsible, not to mention bloody freezing.

The final leg of the Herne Hill Halloween experience was le velo for the Muddy Hell cyclocross event. Cycling past Herne Hill station, and en route we noticed that The Expo party was in full swing. Well, it would be rude not to offer some support, wouldn’t it?

A salsa band was brightening up a rather damp evening in a corner of South London, pulling in a sizable crowd as well. The ingenious Indian Eye restaurant opposite was staging a projection of local images in the window. The lovely @mayoroflambeth was doing his civic thing, and local businesses had very kindly donated ample food servings and a steady supply of mulled wine. We stayed at the station for possibly slightly longer than was polite, enjoying the company, and the generous rounds of mulled wine.

And then finally, finally, sometime slightly before 7pm and we were velo bound. Cycling along Burbage Road and the shock was of all the Halloween activity. Things get slightly scary back at the SW8 base, but Sunny Stockwell this most certainly wasn’t. It seemed that every other house was decked out in Halloween decorations. The level of dedication was easily on par with the more traditional Christmas celebrations.

We dodged some trick or treaters, and then rolled up for Muddy Hell, the Halloween cylocross event at le velo, proudly staged by VCL and Rollapalooza.

Much like Herne Hill and South London earlier in the afternoon, cyclocross is often the Cinderella of cycling in SE24. Track riding rules, and rightfully so. But VCL also boasts a thriving junior cyclocross club.

There was a series of racers for juniors, women, men and vets. I think I fall somewhere in the sub-vet section, and so wisely left my set of wheels firmly locked up in the VCL club lock up.

Racing under lights added to the atmosphere. Most riders had made the effort with a Halloween meets lycra style of racing kit. This was matched with the crossover of messenger meets serious sportive competitors. Adding to the ambience was a DJ and a roller racing set up. If it hadn’t been for that fourth (or was it fifth?) mulled wine outside Herne Hill station, I would have been tempted to have a spin on the rollers myself.

The cyclocross course itself was something of a killer. Circumnavigating the perimeter of the track, and then crossing into the centre and with a huge ten-foot drop at one stage, I don’t think it was designed for my track bike. A bunny-hopping VCL rider played to the crowd, delighting the beer tent boys as he jumped over the hurdle after every lap.

The coming together of VCL and Rollapolooza shows what can be achieved from two quite diverse groups. The common theme is of course cycling - how each organisation goes about getting there are quite different. Herne Hill simply provided the perfect setting for a meeting of the clans.

And so some eight hours after setting off for the forgotten terrains of Herne Hill, we arrived back in Sunny Stockwell after an afternoon and evening of treasure hunting, poolside dining and floodlit cyclocross. I’ll have to remember not to forget about Hill Herne more often.

Chapeau!

Brilliant news! Lambeth REAL Plus cardholders can now gain entry to Brockwell Lido!

Blimey.

At least that’s what it said on p.74 on the recently published A Really Useful Guide to Services by @lambeth_council:

“In Lambeth there are four leisure centres, a community sports centre, and the Brockwell Lido. All accept the Lambeth REAL Plus card, giving generous discounts at all times.”

It’s complete twaddle of course. You need to take out membership with GLL for indoor swimming, and then a second separate membership with Fusion for the lido.

The infrastructure and freehold may be owned by @lambeth_council, but you have to pay twice for the public service. Plus please overlook the fact that the Lambeth REAL Plus card even uses the image of the lido as the main picture. You won’t gain entry flashing your REAL Plus card around the lido reception.

Having a unified membership scheme, allowing users to access the Lambeth GLL managed indoor pools and the Fusion managed lido, has been an issue that I have campaigned for since Lambeth Council first decided to pimp out leisure facilities to two different contractors.

It’s a question that I tire of asking at GLL user forums (next one 19th November, Clap’ham Leisure Centre) and at the BLU AGM. It seems that the poor Council leisure flunkey tires of answering the question, more than I tire of asking it. So I shall continue to ask it.

Initially I was told it was a “turnstile issue.” The swipe card used by the two separate leisure operators wasn’t compatible.

Ah, I see.

Upon my second time of asking, I was given the reply that the lido comes under Parks management, and not leisure.

Righty ho…

And then finally, at the BLU AGM earlier this month, the Council leisure flunkey confirmed that @lambeth_council couldn’t afford to operate a unified membership scheme; money is coming in from both GLL and Fusion - why pass on the benefits to the Council Tax payers?

That’s what happens when you decide to pimp out a public service to two rival organisations. The profit remains in house (although to be fair, Fusion are rather lovely) and the Council is freed from the day-to-day management of what can be a problematic service to provide.

Am I being victimised? Ha! Not really. The oldies are being ripped off by @lambeth_council as well. Free swimming for the over 60’s in Lambeth pools triumphs the Council’s website. That’s all pools apart from the lido.

I’m tempted to take along p.74 of the recently published A Really Useful Guide to Services by @lambeth_council to the final, final lido swim of the season on Saturday morning and make an arse of myself. But then it’s @lambeth_council that has got the problem (and the profits,) not me. Plus I’ll say it again - Fusion are really rather lovely.

Meanwhile GLL are trying. There’s the Swim London initiative, a scheme that for the same £26 monthly fee I pay to swim in Lambeth indoor pools, I can buy into a membership package that lets me swim in all GLL managed pools across London.

Wonderful! Where do I sign up? And, ah… lookey here. GLL also manage the lovely London Fields Lido up at Hackney. So now we have the truly absurd situation where if I take out membership to swim indoors at Lambeth owned pools, I’m excluded from swimming outdoors at the Lambeth owned lido, but I can swim outdoors at a lido owned by Hackney Council.

Bonkers. I need to take a cold shower. There are plenty of those at Clap’ham right now.