Crap Match Report

Surrey 106 for 2 (Sangakkara 40) beat Middlesex 105 for 9 (Malan 40, Ansari 3-17) by eight wickets

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To The Oval! …once again on Friday evening for yet another t20 twaddle slog with Surrey.

But this wasn’t any old run of the mill Friday night with the ‘rrey; this was THE BIG ONE.

Surrey Vs the ‘Sex – that other lot from the wrong side of the river that have been remarkably rubbish of late.

Just as Southwark Council only seems to exist to make Lambeth Council appear half decent, the very existence of Middlesex CCC over recent seasons has been to propel Surrey as the number one London club.

Friday evening at The Oval didn’t disappoint.

But I did.

Rendez Vous and arrangements with me are never too reliable.

A message saying ‘meet you in the second tier of the Pavilion’ was lost somewhere in the South London translation.

I ended up in the top tier, then a schlep all the way round to the Member’s enclosure over in the OCS.

If I had carried on my cricketing miscommunication for any longer then I would have missed the blink and you’ll miss it innings from the ‘Sex.

Ta for coming, etc.

#AnsariWatch was a rare highlight as tweets bounced back and forth from the Pavilion to the Fair City.


Figures of 3-17 from our man were mighty impressive. There was even a sniff of a hat trick ball thrown in as well.

Captain Batty was Captain Reliable.

He took his 50th t20 wicket for the ‘rrey, leaving the ‘Sex looking stranded South of the River on 80-7.

“I don’t think that they will be very happy with that”

…volunteered a young Surrey Member showing all the wisdom of a washed out lush lapping it up over with the Peter May pissheads.

Podmore prodded around a bit for the ‘Sex – a PROPER cricket name, if not an innings to match.

Meanwhile young Curran S and Curran T each took a wicket for the ‘rrey.

“I bet their Mum is proud. She raisin them well”

…said some wag.

NO ONE laughed at my joke.

The London Mascot Derby during the break was a typical rough and tumble celebration of grown men wearing silly costumes.

The predictable pile on looked more like a fetish scene from some weird North London animal costume sex video.

Not that I’ve seen it, mind.

And so a run chase of 106 was set for the ‘rrey. I’ve chased down higher darts check outs.

Watching Jason Roy at the crease along with HERO Sangakkara was an absolute pleasure.

Gary Wilson also chipped in with a useful 25, calling the shots VERY LOUDLY, if not exactly playing them.

And then sometime shortly before 9pm and that was yer lot.

Middlesex had their seventh consecutive t20 defeat. It was all the more sweeter that it took place down in Transpontonia.

Enjoy the trip back across the river, fellas.

But the Friday night fun crowd wasn’t finished. ‘Pitch invasion’ after ‘pitch invasion’ followed.

At first it was rather funny, especially when a young lady tried her luck with the hapless stewards.

You had to feel sorry for the bib wearers. They were only doing their job.

At times it seemed that there was more supporters on the outfield than stewards. With a threatened fine of £1,000 for each encroachment, this could be something of a nice little earner for SCCC.

Just try invading that sacred outfield across the river at HQ…

C’mon the ‘rrey!

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