onionbagblog

As far as goodbyes go, it wasn’t a bad one, being sent off to the Hoe with a grand night out at the Battle of the SW8 Blogs held at The Wheatsheaf along South Lambeth Road.

There is something unique about my #hyperlocal patch of South London in that it is fortunate to throw up a higher number of local blogs than probably anywhere else in London. It is no coincidence that a large amount of local online dialogue is spent discussing the failures of @lambeth_council.

Collective contempt breeds community *shhh* co-operation, which is perhaps why this area is so rich in local blogs. But it’s not all about incompetent local authority bureaucracy. Sometimes there is a booze call to arms, and the online becomes the offline.

Which is exactly what happened on Thursday evening at the Wheatsheaf, when the wonderful @AndrewOrange of the Tradescant patch pitched in with the perfect idea of organising an SW8 (ish) Battle of the Blogs in the form of a pub quiz.

Contrary to continued claims from the snipers, this informal network of bloggers has been operating independently over the past few years. Offline acquaintances have been rare. We all tend to cover the same stories coming out of the Rotten Borough, but that is more due to duty than conspiracy.

The Battle of the Blogs served as a brilliant opportunity to put a name to that dodgy twitter profile picture, hit the booze and then laugh at some of the antics of @lambeth_council that we have all been following of late.

I arrived at The Wheatsheaf not really knowing what to expect, but was totally blown away by many of the online names that had come out to compete, and to wish a farewell to @AnnaJCowen and I ahead of the Great Escape.

The scene in the main bar ahead of the quiz was like a Who’s Who of Lambeth activism. There was no representation from @LambethLabour, although to be fair, @imogenwalker had civic Licensing duties. @labourstockwell sent a very kind apology.

It was great to catch up with John Hare once again, whom I spent a charming afternoon with back in May, learning all about the dirty tricks campaign put in place by @LambethLabour over in Herne Hill. With May 6th now behind us, John tried his very best on the night to out me as a Lambeth Green. Close, but no cigar, my friend. Not yet, anyway,

To my great surprise, my fave local Lambeth activist also turned up. I was given the complete rundown of the Battle of Vassall Ward, and only wish now that I was around longer to see this particular #hyperlocal problem be played out in full.

And then just when you think that you have heard it all in the Rotten Borough, I was tipped off about a truly outrageous local story that looks like it will blow up big time. Following, but not participating, in the Lambeth online dialogue via my RSS feeds is going to pass away those long, rural winter evenings.

As for the quiz itself? Well, the #hyperlocal news round compiled by the good @AndrewOrange was testing, and it is with some shame that my non SW8 team ringer, @Darryl1974 did the business for Team Lambeth Shite (although I did pitch in with the answer of “he voted @LambethLabour” to the question: what crime did the last person to be executed at Kennington Gallows commit?)

Overall and Team Lambeth Shite faired slightly better than the inspiration behind the name; the Luscious Lurkers were diligent and asked some probing questions (but didn’t get many answers.) Hold the front page – @StockwellNews ran away with the Battle of the SW8 Blogs winner’s award.

And so a huge thanks to both @AndrewOrange and The Wheatsheaf for accommodating us. @mazlaws, @markvauxhall, @garethwyn and, um, @AnnaJCowen all did Team Lambeth Shite proud as well.

It was fitting that as I left a #hyperlocal pub quiz, I still managed to get lost in walking the short distance back to my SW8 base. Whoops. Even more fitting that the Wheatsheaf hung a picture painted nearby to the Hoe.

There will always be a small part of South London that will be forever Wivenhoe, and in return, I’m sure that there will always be a small part of Wivenhoe that will keep on flying the flag for South London.

*sigh*

I really will miss the great Giovani, Luigi and the lovely, lovely Di Lieto olive bread.

I’m starting to sound like Margaret Thatcher after being turfed out of No. 10, but yep – we’re leaving the place we have called home for the past fifteen years, probably for the final time.

I arrived in Brixton back in the summer of 1995, full of hope, high on optimism and with a huge appetite for ambition. None of these have been played out to their full potential, but I feel that I am leaving London as an all round better person.

I’ve been enlightened, enriched and inspired by London. But it comes at a high price, both financially and physically. London demands everything of you. There’s no hiding away if you want to experience the benefits that this city has to offer – you’re either in or you’re out.

I want out.

After fifteen years of running around town, it’s time to come up for some air. We both need a break, and one that allows us to put our feet up, laze around in the garden with a bottle of bolly and just generally live a slower pace of life.

Plus if truth be told, the tipping point came last summer when South London Yoof decided to camp out on my newly varnished front garden fence. It wasn’t particularly anti-social behaviour, but then neither was my response of blasting out some Billy Bragg from my front bedroom to shift South London Yoof along.

I just want a bit of peace, space and respect, bruv. I can’t find that in Sunny Stockwell any more. I live in fear of becoming what I despise – a right wing bigot, albeit with some sense of justification, given the actions of those around me in my current surroundings.

We have lived in the city for fifteen years because we wanted to. We wanted the convenience of being close to the cultural capital of the world; we wanted the opportunities that living in such a densely populated environment presented, and most of all, we wanted to be part of something that was much greater than we as individuals could ever be. London allowed us to live this lifestyle.

But that period in our lives is now in the past. We’re both ready for the next phase, searching for more solitude and a less frantic lifestyle – and yeah, one which probably involves keeping a well stocked wine cellar and not feeling guilty about procrastinating and enjoying life for itself, rather than with a specific reason to achieve or obtain career fulfillment.

I’m failing to find the love that I once had for this great city. Weekends of hunting down specific events or meetings are long gone. The enthusiasm for anything outside of my micro #hyperlocal patch of South London is non-existent. I’m even struggling to see anything of interest for me around here locally. A man who is bored of London is bored of life. I need to therefore try and find a new life out in the wilds.

I’m giving up pretty much everything that has been my social existence for a third of my life: the korfball club, watching cricket, the cycling community at Herne Hill and of course the lovely lido (although if truth be told, it’s not been a great season down in SE24.)

I feel that I’ve run my course with each activity. With no physical or geographical work restrictions keeping me in place, it’s time to move on. I am a nomad of technology: have broadband (just) will travel.

And so where to next? Well, we’re going back to the future to find a familiar lifestyle of old. Almost twenty years ago to the day, @AnnaJCowen and I first met as undergraduates at the University of Essex in Colchester. We’re now heading back to North Essex / Suffolk border, just up the road from the campus to the quayside town of Wivenhoe.

When we lived in North Essex, we couldn’t wait to leave for London. Weekends were spent going back and forth to Liverpool Street. It now seems that we have come full circle, and we can’t get wait to get back to the Wivenhoe rural way of life.

The city has served me well, but I can no longer keep up. I need an environment that hopefully will begin a new period of discovery. Yep – I’m becoming a hippy.

There’s a cycling club, estuary swimming, county cricket in nearby Castle Park, a sailing club and a jazz club. I think I’ll be busy, in a more laid back, middle-aged sort of way. Plus Wivenhoe is Constable country. I don’t think I’m going to take up landscape painting, but think of all those wonderful wildlife photographic opportunities.

That purveyor of objectivity and truth, um, the urban dictionary, rather helpfully adds:

“[Wivenhoe ] Small town in North East Essex. The town is home to an abnormally high percentage of musicians, artists, actors, and assorted TV and media people. The University of Essex at the top of the town is famous as a Communist stronghold in the 1960′s – the town also was home to The Angry Brigade at that time.

The Wivenhoe Folk Club is recognised as one of the best in the country, and regularly attracts big name acts. Other Essex villages consider Wivenhoe to be full of drunks, layabouts, hippies, arty-farty types, Pot-Heads, gays, and prozac-dependants. Small wonder then, that it was recently rated as the second most popular place to live in the whole of the UK.”

Blimey.

We’ve bought an old Victorian cottage with views out across the North Essex estuary. We’re keeping our properties down here in South London, still doing the landlord and tenant nonsense. Needs must. Plus you never know when you might miss the mean streets of Sunny Stockwell and long for a return.

Or maybe not.

As for m’blog? Well, it never really was about South London per se – more about my life in South London. The Wivenhoe lifestyle will undoubtedly present many new opportunities, and I’ll probably end up blogging all about these.

The countdown to the North Essex coastal adventure started in earnest some eighteen months ago when the plan was first hatched. We’re now approaching the Sunny Stockwell end game, with all the final arrangements being put in place.

Many, many thanks to everyone who has helped to make our London life so special. The memories will remain (um, online…) as we reach out to create new ones.

London loves, the misery of a speeding heart.

Time for the Great Escape.

Well, not quite closure as in no longer trading as a business (which it currently isn’t…) but closure from the point of view of a hugely successful community based campaign to keep away the proposed bonkers 5am booze and live bands licence for Kelly’s along the Clap’ham Road.

Confused?

A quick re-cap: Having closed as a traditional boozer just over two years ago, Kelly’s was bought by a local Porto businessman with grand plans. The first of Antonio da Silva’s money making schemes was to use the space to open up a clinic. This was rejected by @lambeth_council planning. The exterior neon lighting request can’t have helped.

Then came the non-licensed and illegal Porto car wash. Except that it was the most unsuccessful car wash in all of South London (tip for would be car washers: drinking booze outside your business all day ‘aint great for… business.)

The car wash was closed by @lambeth_council, but it probably wouldn’t have lasted the summer anyway, such was the lack of interest in actually washing any cars.

Da Silva then switched his attention to becoming a landlord. An ambitious planning application was submitted to @lambeth_council to squeeze nine luxury development flats (yeah, right) into the tiny space.

Building on top of the car wash garage was part of the deal, ignoring the obstacle of a grand old tree rather inconveniently blocking the building space. The application was thrown out on the grounds of over-crowding.

Running short on options, da Silva then turned back towards a bar for Kelly’s. Fine – this was the original purpose of the building, although a bonkers 5am licence didn’t exactly go down too well with the local residents.

And so on Wednesday morning, I (and many others) received official notification from the fine Ross Hill, the Licensing Officer @lambeth_council, stating:

“I write further to your recent representation in respect of the above-mentioned application, which was due to be considered by our Licensing Sub-Committee in early September.

I have just received notification from the applicant that they now wish to withdraw their application. The application will not be processed any further, and will not appear at a committee hearing.

I understand that the owners of the premises are now looking to reopen it later in the year, trading within the times permitted under the current licence, which are as follows:

Monday – Wednesday 10:00 – 00:00
Thursday 10:00 – 01:00
Friday & Saturday 10:00 – 02:00
Sunday 12:00 – 00:30″

The generous opening hours still seem to favour the landlord, and not the locals, but they are a damn site improvement on the bonkers 5am proposition. I personally probably won’t oppose the hours, although noise levels will of course need monitoring.

Lessons learnt: It is truly wonderful how the #hyperlocal community around my little patch of South London has managed to work together to overturn such a highly unsocial variation in licence application.

I started off in isolation, first seeing the statutory notices appear on the pub door, and thinking that I would be alone in trying to preserve any sense of community that is left along this corner of the Clap’ham Road.

A knock on the door with my neighbours, a blog post that hooked me up with other concerned locals, communication with the local Safer Neighbourhood Team, interest from the nearby Fentiman Resident’s Association, backing from the Bolney Meadow residents and let’s not forget the HUGE show of support from the very good @janeinlondon / E Hants and Jack the Lad Hopkins.

Here we have a local community united against a landlord chancing his luck with the Licensing Committee. Over forty objections were submitted to the Licensing Committee, as well a petition with double this number of signatures. The applicant was able to view these, a factor which led to the withdrawal of the variation in licence.

It’s such a shame that this may well be one of the final acts that I will be able to carry out around here locally as part of the community. If @AnnaJCowen and I were sticking around, then I would most definitely build upon this local network and work upon other local issues.

And so yeah – you can stick yer bonkers 5am licence somewhere else far away from our local residential community. And please keep the noise down, come the more civilised closing time.

Time gentleman, in more ways than one…

With a huge heads up to the good @labourstockwell, here’s where we find out exactly who is responsible for pitching in with the bonkers 5am alcohol and live music licence for Kelly’s along the Clap’ham Road.

The mysterious CL 21 Speed Ltd, as listed on the Variation in Licence form, didn’t give much away. Likewise for the Southwark SE5 85X postcode. For more of a pointer then you need to look slightly closer to home and the A Toca Cafe, situated along Wandsworth Road, SW8. Mr. Antonio da Silva is listed at Companies House as the current owner, strangely under the business of ‘window cleaning.’

And so it would seem that the plan is to turn Kelly’s into a Porto cafe. I’d be quite supportive of this in principle – custard cream cakes, coffees and sea fish food. I fail to see however why a licence until 5am in the morning is required to provide such a service.

It is accepted that Sunny Stockwell is home to the largest Portuguese community outside of the mother country. We are an inclusive lot around here, working, resting and playing rather well together. I would like to continue to be able to rest at a reasonable hour.

But my #hyperlocal little patch of South London is not a Porto holiday resort. It is a residential area of South London, where locals needs to rest before heading out to work the next day.

Even the Porto enclave of South Lambeth Road doesn’t have any bar with a bonkers 5am licence. My fear is that once Little Porto closes at a respectable hour, the customers will simply stream down Dorset Road and continue to party around my #hyperlocal patch.

This really should be a straightforward common sense decision for the Licensing Committee to make. If the application is to proceed (which is unlikely) then the Committee needs to assess if the lifestyle of locals living nearby will be affected.

The @lambeth_council Licensing Committee is made up of political representation across all three parties. Party politics shouldn’t come into this.

@LambethLabour courted the Porto community ahead of May 6th. It is hoped that this same feeling of respect and understanding is applied to all living within Sunny Stockwell.

It’s surprising how much detail you can actually find by doing some little digging around yourself. Having established yesterday that the planning application for nine flats for Kelly’s along Clap’ham Road had been thrown out last month, the continued on / off saga of the proposed bonkers 5am booze and live bands licence took a further twist on Tuesday afternoon.

With the Oval Safer Neighbourhood Team telling me on Saturday that the licence has now been withdrawn (hurrah!) and the good @JackHopkins_Lab saying the opposite yesterday, it was time to seek official clarification.

The truth lies somewhere in the middle – the bonkers 5am licence hasn’t been withdrawn as yet, but it is the understanding of the officers within the Licensing Department @lambeth_council that this will happen very soon.

So hurrah again.

I think.

I managed to speak with Ross Hill, a council officer working within Licensing. He recognised the confusion, as I re-told the story of how the local police believe that the licence has been withdrawn, whereas the local councillors think that it is still active.

Ross confirmed that this is all rumour, but he mentioned that the understanding within the Licensing Department is that the proposals will be formally withdrawn before they go to Committee.

The allocation of item agendas has already been filled for the next meeting on 31st August, which leaves the 8th September as the available remaining for the licence to be withdrawn ahead of the next meeting.

Ross confirmed that over forty representations against the licence have already been received. The sponsor of the licence has been able to view these, and it is believed that this evidence, along with a stern contribution from the local police, has led to a re-think.

Ah yes – about that re-think…

Kelly’s currently has a weekend licence until 2am. Although this is still rather late for a residential area, it is far more acceptable than the crazy nineteen hours of all day boozing that was planned.

I think most locals could live with a weekend only 2am licence, and then 11pm during weekdays. The conclusion from my chat with Ross however is that a new licence variation is being considered. By implication, this would suggest something slightly later than 2am is being lined up.

Not acceptable.

Ross also mentioned that the building was sold two years ago, along with the existing licence. He wasn’t able to name who the new owner is, but he said that they currently run other nightclubs along the busy commercial stretch of Wandsworth Road.

It seems our #hyperlocal little South London residential community is being confused by the owner for the night time economy patch elsewhere in the borough. Kelly’s should be a community pub, and not a nightclub for outsiders.

So yeah, it’s still very much a case of watch this space. Or even that space on the front door of Kelly’s where all formal licence variations have to be posted. If you objected to the licence then you should receive an email from the Licensing Department, *if* the original application is withdrawn.

Otherwise it looks like being Room 8 at Lambeth Town Hall on the evening of 8th September, to let the Licensing Committee know that a drinking den of a nightclub is clearly not acceptable within our residential community.

How to solve the problem that is Kelly’s along the Clap’ham Road?

*deep, deep sigh*

Consultation with the local community and cooperation to find a working solution for the site would be a good start.

Some digging around on the @lambeth_council planning database confirms that the yuppie flats application was actually rejected last month. Which makes the current bonkers 5am alcohol and live music licence for the site become all the more clearer now.

The timeline seems to suggest that the original plan was to convert the site into nine luxury flats, with a bar below. This was a separate application to the recent request that proposes to introduce nineteen hours a day of boozing into my local community.

I was broadly supportive of the flats development, as were many other locals living around here. The site has been officially empty for two summers now, crumbling around the edges and currently being squatted. It needs a long-term future.

The current owner (still trying to track down – any pointers?) now clearly wants a get rich quick scheme put in place. With the planning application refused, the timeline continued last month with the appearance of the illegal car wash.

This is no laughing matter – with no consultation with local residents, and with no contact with the council for a change of business premises, a Porto car wash appeared overnight within the garage of Kelly’s.

This was the most unsuccessful car wash in South London. It attracted zero customers. It did attract however friends of friends of friends, who all gathered outside the carwash and sat around on the street drinking beer all day.

With some help from our local councillors, the car wash was soon closed down. The handmade (and misspelled) sign still remains, as do the padlocks put in place by the Porto’s running the operation, who return periodically and dump off unknown packages.

Which brings us up to date with the Kelly’s timeline of mismanagement. No yuppie flats, no Porto car wash but a highly offensive licensing application for boozing and live music until five in the morning.

It is clear that the owner wants to make a fast buck out of the building, but not by bringing along the support of the local community on board. The consensus during our door knocking at the weekend is that locals want to find a use for the site. We would be happy for a local pub to return with a properly managed and socially responsible licence.

The complete lack of consultation with local people has given us zero confidence in Kelly’s actually being able to contribute anything to the local community. The twenty-four hour licensing laws were proposed to try an implement a relaxed continental cafe culture. What is currently planned at Kelly’s is the exact opposite of this policy. This is not a delicatessen but a drinking den.

The deadline has now passed for anyone wanting to comment on the application ahead of the meeting of the Lambeth Council Licensing Committee on 31st August. @janeinlondon / E Hants and @JackHopkins_Lab have very kindly set up an online petition to continue with the campaign.

This is a very really #hyperlocal issue, and it is genuinely a case of every extra signature gained will send out the message of mistrust that we have locally about the proposed licence.

This is a community, and not a nightclub site. Let’s keep it that way.