onionbagblog

Another fortnight, another Lambeth Life. Oh Lordy. But wait - what’s this? It’s only ‘London’s biggest non-daily newspaper.’ Blimey.

I was always taught at school that it’s not big and it’s not clever to, um, use the word biggest. But then that’s local politicians for you, ever keen to reduce everything down to a wily measuring competition.

As for the newspaper angle - are you sure, fellas? The dictionary definition of a newspaper states:

“A publication issued at regular and usually close intervals, esp. daily or weekly, and commonly containing news, comment, features, and advertising.”

As we have already established, Lambeth Life is fortnightly (for now.) It contains comment camouflaged as council news, the features refer to any spaced out mid ’90s DJ passing through the Rotten Borough and as for the advertising? *ahem* self-sufficient. Sort of.

But about that fortnightly print cycle of our favourite local authority information news sheet: those nasty ConDems are about to do something as horrid as place objective editorial control on all council propaganda rags, and limit the publication cycle to four times a year.

Hurrah! The rotters.

“The government will confirm a crackdown on council-funded newspapers and magazines this week as it seeks to protect media groups which claim they cost them readers and advertising revenue.

Eric Pickles, the communities and local government secretary, will announce new guidelines ahead of the Conservative party conference this weekend that will effectively ban councils from using taxpayers’ money to produce free papers and magazines, MediaGuardian.co.uk can reveal.”

Interesting. Very interesting. Tell me more, my meeja Graun luvvies…

“Under the new rules, it is understood councils will only be allowed to publish free titles four times a year. They will also have to remove any content which appears to praise the council or endorse the quality of its local services, including quotes from local residents.”

Which basically leads to the conclusion that Lambeth Life is f***ed. Take away the “content which appears to praise the council or endorse the quality of its local services,” and all you are left with is a shabby cut and paste interview with Fat Boy Slim every fortnight.

But perhaps the real problem that those nasty ConDem proposals present to the chest beating @LambethLabour publication is where the chuffers to place those statutory local authority adverts?

Reading about a temporary road closure to Piss Alley, SW2, may not be the most riveting editorial piece of copy, but this kind of communication carries legal obligations for any legally obliging local authority.

Dig a little deeper and you find the real raison d’etre for Lambeth Life existing is to satisfy a tit for tat agenda setting war with the seedy @SthLondonPress.

Oh Lordy.

The sex ads that appear in the family newspaper are given as the reason for not pushing local authority wonger the way of the @SthLondonPress pimps. The little bit of local bother between @LambethLabour and @SthLondonPress is of course nothing but a sideshow, and a particularly ugly one at that.

But anyway - this is debate for another time, and probably not around these parts either.

Phew.

And so Lambeth Life lands on my SW8 doormat for a final time, and what do I find on the front cover?

Setting the Lambeth Standard

“Today marks the launch of Lambeth Council’s new service standards that describe the level of service you can expect when you contact the council.”

Which all sounds well and good, especially so when the local authority is looking to lose 400 members of staff in just the first round of local authority redundancies.

I do hope that the hard working staff at @lambeth_council aren’t put up as the scapegoats for the failure to reach this much-lauded Lambeth Standard. Many of the frontline staff are superb - my recent visit to the Parking Department may have left me low on wallet, but I was uplifted in the level of service that was provided.

Nope - the Lambeth Standard (stop sniggering) needs a top down approach if any genuine levels of excellence are to be achieved. A good starting point might be to give a crash course to certain local Councillors, regarding the pledge to:

“Treat you as an individual with dignity, fairness, courtesy and respect at all times.”

Cripes.

“If you send us an email or write to us, we will: aim to acknowledge your correspondence within two working days.”

Which most certainly wasn’t the response I received in relation to the formal complaint regarding Councillor Davie of Thornton ward. My submission to the Standards Committee wasn’t acknowledged for a full seven days, and even then it took extra effort from me to get the due legal process to be observed.

But yeah - the formal complaint is now in place…

All this talk of quarterly publications, the removal of council endorsing content and the Lambeth Standard, leaves you longing to actually get yer grubby mitts on a publication with a picture of grinning local politician to take the p*** out of.

Ah, lookey here - let’s turn to Page 3 of Lambeth Life:

Petition to save Triangle Adventure Playground Underway

“More than 1,000 people have signed a petition calling for the council to rethink plans to close an adventure playground to make way for a school expansion.”

The farce of forcing the Triangle to close to make way for extra car parking space at Archbishop Tennison, just as the BSF fund has been denied, has been well documented elsewhere. It makes you wonder what the *real* reason is for @LambethLabour wanting to cut a kiddies playground.

“Parents and children from the Triangle Adventure Playground have been collecting signatures for the petition, and handed it over to the Council Deputy Leader Jackie Meldrum last month.”

Hang on - the Council’s Deputy Leader? Where was the Head Boy when the kids came a knocking? @cllrstevereed had already agreed a diary date to receive the petition from the children of Ashmole Primary School on September 16th. The appointment had been made via local MP Kate Hoey, who was also present on the Town Hall steps to greet the Glorious Leader.

The working day of a council leader is no doubt a busy one (#lambethcoop meetings, disciplinary hearings, random 3am tweeting sessions) but the blanking of the kids from Ashmole ranks as pretty poor. For Lambeth Life to put up the stooge of Councillor Meldrum, tells you all you need to know about “council endorsing content.”

What we need, Comrades, is a Freedom Vs Censorship debate. And whaddya know - with absolutely no sense of irony, Lambeth Life delivers with a centre page spread on:

Only in the Rotten Borough…

That’s Life, suckers!

See ya, um…

This makes for a very interesting read - @kayewiggins considers what the reality might be if that family favourite Lambeth Life actually gets sucked into the empty vacuum that is #lambethcoop.

Oh Lordy.

“I found out from chatting to Lambeth council leader Steve Reed the other day that one of his pilot projects for turning the council into a co-operative will be to give the local community more involvement in the council-run paper, Lambeth Life.

Reed said this might involve shared community ownership of the paper – residents might invest money in it and stand to profit from doing so.”

First of all don’t downplay the importance of the word “might.” I might grow my hair, I might start playing golf - hell, I might even join @LambethLabour. But you never know until you take these chances…

@kayewiggins continues:

“But he was unclear about how much editorial control residents would get over the paper’s content. He suggested a model similar to that of the BBC, in which a ‘trust’ (whose members might in this case be elected by the residents who had invested in the paper) would appoint an editor and hold the paper to account.”

I’d wager that zero editorial control will be part of the co-operative process with residents. This would remove the very reason for Lambeth Life actually existing - selling the good news story that is @lambeth_council.

It is interesting that @cllrstevereed mentions the BBC. Only yesterday (blimey) and the other false prophets of Third Way thinking were proposing the very same co-op model for everyone’s favourite broadcasting institution.

There is a hell of a difference between the esteemed BBC and Lambeth Life. One is a cherished institution with very real local, national and international value; the other is a tatty piece of council propaganda.

Plus don’t forget that “co-op” is the current Nu Labour buzzword for cuts - it may just be that some cuts are more welcome than others. Perversely Lambeth Life would certainly seem to fit into this category.

During my #lambethcoop consultation with the apolitical Julian Ellerby, the Director of Campaigns and Communications @lambeth_council (and former regional Director of the London Labour party,) we touched upon what services a local authority should be legally obliged to provide.

Housing, education and health all figured highly. Publishing a council run propaganda sheet each fortnight was low down on my list of priorities. It seems that @cllrstevereed still reckons that Lambeth Life has legs. I wonder why that is?

The justification for Lambeth Life in its present form is that the saintly @LambethLabour doesn’t have to sully it’s scented nose by taking out statutory ads in the sex ad funded @SthLondonPress. Transform the mini Pravda into a genuine business, and the contempt that cabinet rightly or wrongly holds for the local media, is given further credence.

As for the suggestion of “investing money in the paper” and you really have to question what is the role of #lambethcoop, and more importantly, what the hell is the role of Lambeth Life itself?

It appears from the plans that both are about making money, something once again which I suggested to the former regional Director of the London Labour part, is a role that any rational local authority should stay well clear of.

As with most of the ideas flowing out of #lambethcoop to date, it seems that the lumping in of Lambeth Life seems like an incredibly clumsy attempt at trying to justify further cuts to the public purse.

In this case, it is most certainly welcome. Lambeth Life has no life as an investment opportunity, and any foolish attempt to try and pull this off will no doubt lead to the demise of the chest beating publication.

The sign off line from the good @kayewiggins is spot on the money:

“But if the council still intervenes to prevent potentially damaging stories, many residents will be disappointed. They might even come over very #bigsociety and start their own local newspaper or website to rival the council freesheet.”

Now there’s a free market thought for you…

It’s all about cost cutting in the latest, um, cost cutting local council information free (ish) sheet this fortnight. Let’s skip straight away to the Letters page of Lambeth Life, and a penned effort from Charlie Hainsworth of SE24:

“I was impressed to see that in this time of economic constraint and belt tightening, my household’s copy of Lambeth Life cost only 5p to produce.”

Cripes.

I’m not sure if this is faint praise or taking the p*** from young Charlie.

Ella Cope, the esteemed Editor of the cost-cutting local council information free (ish) sheet, replies with some waffle penny-pinching stats, coming to the conclusion that yep, Lambeth Life costs “just over 5p per edition.”

Ella also confirms that the print run is 136,000 copies each fortnight, which by my back of a fag packet calculations makes that something like an annual Lambeth Life overhead of a cool £176,800.

It may not appear much in absolute terms, but in relative terms, that’s a hell of a lot of public money spunked up the wall to put across the voter friendly message of @LambethLabour. In absolute terms, it would keep seven people on the frontline payroll with an annual salary of £25k.

Ella continues:

“…our continuing aim is to be able to produce Lambeth Life for no cost at all to residents.”

Or maybe just don’t produce it at all then.

All of this cost-cutting sets the theme for what is a rip-roaring fortnightly read, which really should carry the strapline of: We’re Broke! Don’t Panic!

In a State of the Nation address, @lambeth_council Chief Executive Derrick Anderson leads on the front page with: Austerity Measures Hit Public Sector Jobs. It’s a softening up of the blow for what lies within. All this talk of austerity and you half expect spam sarnies to be served up at Lambeth Town Hall.

“Currently we know that there will be at least 400 fewer posts across the council in 2011, we will try to address the majority of these through deleting vacant posts and reducing the number of temporary staff working for the organisation.”

Cutting back on the £700 per hour Lambeth Living consultancy staff would be a good start. Speaking of which, there is something of a mixed message coming out of Lambeth Town Hall with regards temporary staff - 46 temporary contracts have apparently been handed out within Lambeth Living.

Whoops.

Let’s flick the page and look for something slightly more positive:

Co-op Commission Announced.

Cripes.

The #lambethcoop presser is then re-published (but only at the cost of an extra 5p per issue…) detailing how the Citizen’s Commission Co-op Commission has finally announced that not a single citizen has been invited to sit at the top table.

Brushing aside the woeful inadequacies in this bodge of a Third Way quango of Nu Labour wonks (WONKS) - what of the stated aims of #lambethcoop?

@cllrstevereed trots out the well-worn line about:

“Reductions on national funding mean we need to drive the community-led agenda forward even faster.”

Steady the buffers, my friend. “Even faster?” It will be a blink and you’ll miss it moment before the consultation is actually complete. Which of course was never the intention all along. Oh no…

And so with the party political blame game being used as justification for @cllrstevereed and his Nu Labour cronies walking away from all democratic accountability, it is only fair that I trot out my well worn line about how #lambethcoop won’t actually save any money.

Actually, nope - I’ll leave that to Ed Balls MP, the highest-ranking Co-operative party MP (stop sniggering,) who actually believes that #lambethcoop will cost MORE money:

“I don’t think it’s a way to save money to be honest. Cutting corners is not what a co-operative council is about. Does being a co-operator save money in public services? I’m not sure that it will. I think that it might actually encourage us to spend more money for local people.”

Council Lobbies to Save Lambeth Schools covers the savage ConDem cuts to the Lambeth BSF programme. Some unlikely alliances have been formed within Town Hall, and it is very decent to see that the local response to the cuts appears to have cross-party support.

Blimey.

“An e-petition [urgh!] has been set up for residents to oppose the cuts. Visit blah blah blah…“

Please do visit and sign the petition. Nope - please *really, really* do visit and sign the petition put online by @LambethLabour. So far only fourteen people in a borough of over 250,000 citizens have. Only another 2,986 more signatures required to trigger a debate at Full Council, under the recent chest beating Power to the People Lambeth Life headline.

A deep *sigh* and then we’re on to Streatham Hub at the bottom of page 3.

Oh Lordy.

Ice Rink Could Come to Brixton reads the headline. This of course details the mega U-turn by the @lambeth_council cabinet in shifting the permanent temporary Streatham Rink away from SW16 and into the voter friendly Brixton power base.

The move down the A23 is all about appeasing Tesco, the corporate paymaster. Lambeth Life recognises this, stating:

“A spokesperson from A Spenhill, the wholly-owned regeneration subsidiary of Tesco, said: We want to make sure that the Tesco store gives customers the best possible shopping experience and that the overall development delivers all the regeneration benefits previously promised.”

Sounds good. Keep talkin’ fella:

“We are therefore making some small changes to our plans.”

Too right, matey - a *small* increased retail space of almost 50%. Meanwhile, the ice pad, swimming pool and dry sports facilities [urgh!] are no nearer now than what they were a decade ago when the whole farce first started.

That’s Life!

Another fortnight, another letterbox delivery of Lambeth Southwark Lewisham Life.

*sigh*

Hang on - since when did our South London border cousins become part of the whole #lambethcoop farce? Ever since all three local councils became Comrades, united under a (steady) red flag flying South London state of independence.

Cripes.

“Lambeth, Southwark and Lewisham are set to work together in a bid to cut costs and help protect front line services.”

Hurrah!

Let’s hope that the protection of council jobs is also part of this new co-operation, what with our friends @LambethLabour attempting to bury the bad news of the 400 redundancies on the very same day it rolled out the folly of #lambethcoop.

In a move that was trailed in the @LambethLabour manifesto, our friend @cllrstevereed confirms in Lambeth Southwark Lewisham Life:

“The challenges we face as inner-city London authorities will continue to grow in importance as the coming decade unfolds.”

Inner-city London authorities indeed, but it’s a mighty long way from Waterloo in the north of Lambeth all the way out east to Lee Manor over in leafy Lewisham.

I wonder why the Big Three have chosen to make a pact amongst themselves, and not invited, say, neighbouring Wandsworth into the political pow wow? Could it be perhaps [scented hankie over the nose] that those evil Tories are in control over towards the west of Lambeth Town Hall?

And if the challenges facing inner-city local authorities are so pressing, why wait until after the local election to make local authority cuts collectively as part of the Big Three? Why didn’t @cllrstevereed not offer the hand of local authority co-operaion over the Southwark border some six months ago?

Ah, I see.

Having a Big Three pow wow may just be able to help reduce some of the waste that local authorities churn out. The local Pravda (ouch) that is Lambeth Southwark Lewisham Life could be a better place to start looking, rather than redundancies for the poor council staff.

Of course it could be argued that @LambethLabour started this Big Three pow wow process sometime ago. Shutting swimming pools that neighbour other borough borders has led to Lambeth citizens relying upon the public services of other local authorities when it comes to leisure.

Still - at least it means that the @SthLondonPress reporter that has a ban on entering @lambeth_council property is now once again able to get involved in covering the local Lambeth patch. Sort of.

Elsewhere in Lambeth Southwark Lewisham Life and the Letters page is the usual mix of the irrelevant and the impudent.

Amber Cuttill, the Alumni Relations Intern from, um, the University of L******er writes in about a University reunion being staged in the City of Death.

Graduates from L******er University may be alive and well in Lambeth, but it will take much more than a letter in Lambeth Southwark Lewisham Life to drag my hairy arse back up to the City of Death ever again.

Oh - and I win the Cynical South London Bloggers competition to get the most ridiculous letter published in Lambeth Southwark Lewisham Life.

See you in a fortnight, suckers.

That’s Life!

Here’s a new twist on the much lauded Lambeth Life saga. @cllrstevereed [protected public twitter account] is apparently:

“…musing on the possibility of Lambeth Council’s newspaper becoming a co-op owned community paper.”

Cripes.

This was the message coming out of the launch for the co-operatives fortnight event, staged as Westminster Central Hall on Saturday. I only found out via a RT from @coopparty, seeing as though the leader of my local council has blocked me from reading his tweeter updates all about his public engagements.

So whilst we’re still looking around to find out exactly what is meant by a Citizen’s Commission with no citizen representation, how the hell would a community run Lambeth Life actually work?

The Co-operative party believes:

“…that people will achieve more by working together than they can by working alone.”

Don’t we all, Comrades. But someone has to have the final say in subbing that Power to the People misleading headline.

If Lambeth Life is to become a true co-operative newspaper, then all 250,000 plus citizens of the borough must surly have a say in the editorial process. Subjectivity is out, objectivity covering all views within the borough would need to be represented and heard. Haven’t really thought this one through, have we?

Which pretty much sums up the entire implementation and yep, consultation for #lambethcoop. Policy seems to be made up pretty much on the spot, with the whole Nu Labour vanity project seemingly still having more questions and musings than answers.

I would wager that if the three politicians currently sitting on the Citizen’s Commission were to consult the citizens of the borough about Lambeth Life, the conclusion would probably be to question the very continuation of the propaganda publication.

And so with the musing of the future of Lambeth Life taking place during co-operative fortnight, maybe, just maybe, there is similar musings over how citizens of the borough can actually be invited to take part in the current Nu Labour closed shop that is #lambethcoop.

And so what do you do if your Guardian front page local government initiative fails to live up to all the pre-election hype about “fairness, accountability and responsibility?”

Look around for a deadline looming piece of statutory local government legislation, and then try and pass this off as part of the democratic farce of appearing to open up democracy to the Little People.

This is exactly what our friends from @LambethLabour have done with the Local Democracy, Economic Construction and Development Act 2009. The legislation, which compels councils to take online petitions seriously, has been bundled in as part of the #lambethcoop plan.

@cllrstevereed teased me with a series of tweets last week, hinting that Lambeth Life was about to blow the fanfare for a genuine enfranchisement of the closed shop that has come to characterise #lambethcoop.

What could this be, I pondered? More information on the failed Citizen’s Commission that is currently made up of three @LambethLabour cabinet members? Maybe some meat on the bones to the sweeping statement of “outcomes are fairer because services meet local needs better.” Or even a definition of what a co-op council actually means, seeing as though the more people I talk to, the more confused we all appear to be.

But nope - instead Lambeth Life rolls off the printing press with a rallying Power to the People front page headline.

Power to the People actually means power to the people to submit an online petition that is a legal requirement in providing an online system of accountability within local government.

The deadline for the Local Democracy, Economic Construction and Development Act is June 15th. You can almost visualise the Blue Sky thinking [aha!] as the Citizen’s Commission met and pondered how to open up a process, that so far has consisted of the Corporate Policy Team putting out a call for “interested partners.”

“Mmm - that sexy Local Democracy, Economic Construction and Development Act is looming. Can’t we cobble it together to become part of the #lambethcoop?”

Job’s a good ‘un.

The headline in Lambeth Life may as well have been Rubbish Bins to be Emptied, such is the statutory nature of the great triumph of this chest-beating headline. More detail is found within the explanation from David Burm, Lambeth’s Head of Democratic Services and Scrutiny:

“The petition scheme is about giving residents confidence that their petitions will be dealt with effectively by the council.”

Great. But what of the previous petitions on the @lambeth_council website that have been submitted prior to the passing of the Act? Was there no confidence in these being dealt with effectively?

I suggest a petition calling for an independent investigation into the setting up of the #lambethcoop Citizen’s Commission. The remit would be to find out why such a misleading title was given to a closed body that has yet to show any signs of “fairness, accountability and responsibility.”

The fact remains that the Citizen’s Commission is still made up of only @cllrstevereed, Councillor Meldrum and Councillor McGlone. All three are high-ranking members of @LambethLabour, all three hold a seat at cabinet.

Until transparent details are published as to exactly who has been invited to become part of the Citizen’s Commission, how they were selected, and what role they will have in making key #lambethcoop decisions, then the whole John Lewis project is nothing but another dead Dodo for local democracy.

Elsewhere in Lambeth Life and there is no mention whatsoever of the Citizen’s Commission. That’s probably because the publication is printed for citizens, and not cabinet members to read.

Ice Rink Research tells of how:

“A number of sites are being considered by Lambeth Council as it searches for a suitable home for a temporary ice rink in Streatham.”

This is a significant change from the cabinet decision to rubber stamp Streatham Common before the local elections (and before the local community became mobilised in anger against the scheme.)

As reported around these parts last week, Pope’s Road car park in Brixton is emerging as a front-runner. The timing is still crucial here:

“The move to carry out the work in one go should mean the development is open by 2012 - a year earlier than under previous plans.”

Um, yeah. This is because Tesco threatened to walk away from the whole Hub project unless it was rolled out under the timeline demanded by the multi-national. This in turn led to the scramble (and controversy) to find a temporary location for the ice pad.

Moving on…

Page 5 of Lambeth Life reports on Lambeth Living Service Study:

“Lambeth Living [pimped out council stock] is set to spend almost £40,000 on a survey of tenants to find out the best ways to improve the service.

I’d suggest cutting off the £10,000 trousered by Sir Keith Hill, the ex-Labour MP for Streatham, and the current Chair of Lambeth Living; the £700 per day fees paid to private consultants would probably be a popular choice as well. You’d also save £40,000 in survey money, as most tenants would be in agreement.

With the Tulse Hill Situation meaning that Lambeth Life is technically still in purdah, the Leader’s Column is written in all but name for @cllrstevereed by Claire Rennie, a trustee of the Weir Link, a Nu Labour love in project in Lambeth.

Meanwhile, the Star Letter is simply an arse licking embarrassment for Lambeth Life.

There’s handy cut out keep double page spread of Your Councillors and How to Contact Them:

“They have a range of responsibilities which include overseeing Lambeth Council and the services that it provides.”

Good - that’s what we elect the buggers for. Walking away and putting the blame for the borough’s problems on the citizens, is not the model for local democracy that we operate under.

A quick flick through the pen pics of some of the squeaky clean new faces now sitting in the council chamber, and oh Lordy - what do we have here?

Vassall Ward, Councillor Kingsley Abrams, Labour.

Hang on - hasn’t the good Councillor Abrams just been booted out of his party as part of a botched left wing purge?

Um, That’s Life, suckers.

A rather decent Lambeth Life this fortnight - blimey. It won’t last. But as ever, accentuate the negatives, and overlook the positives in @lambeth_council’s ‘information freesheet.’

Actually, that’s not fair. The Big Difference eco campaign gets the front-page treatment. Essentially it’s an online means of communication between residents and the council, that allows fly tipping to be reported.

It works rather well. I feel slightly disappinted that I can’t introduce the legendary (and very useful, not to mention good humoured) @janeinlondon / E Hants to the pleasure of Palfrey Place and the crap that the locals leave around here. I reported the latest dumping to the Big Difference folk last week, and yep, it’s now been removed. Job’s a good ‘un.

Other good news stories (in brief, we haven’t got all day) include a decent double page feature on community safety, Portugal’s Party in the Park (wrapped up in two pages of Little Porto advertising) and a lovely news piece on Councillor Aminu making the most of Walk to School Week with his young daughter.

But anyway. Back to the Rotten Borough.

Co-operative Model for Council is the main headline, courtesy of our friends from Lambeth Life. It’s nothing but a re-hash of the press release that has been tarted around by the good @cllrstevereed over recent days.

“Model, delivery, apply, empower, complete bollocks” - all of the buzz phrases that the Glorious Leader has trotted out over recent days are present and correct.

Ah - but *which* Glorious Leader?

In an intriguing twist of fate featuring the poacher and gamekeeper, the apolitical Derrick Anderson, the Chief Executive of Lambeth Council, is now championing the co-op council model.

Cripes.

The Big Man is a decent bloke, and perhaps by having the Lambeth Life front page, he feels that he is adding a little extra value to the £218,870 he is paid per year. Flick through to page 6 and the Leader’s Column (go on, you know you want to) and whaddya know - it’s only the Guest Column, with the guest for this week being yer man Dez:

“The borough is set to become the first co-operative council in the country.”

Ignoring the minor point of order that the whole Nu Labour exercise is nothing but a ploy in allowing private capital to have even more influence in our little patch, but shouldn’t the Chief Exec be apolitical?

The co-op council is the political smoke and mirrors masterpiece from our friends at @LambethLabour. It may have been hidden away on the penultimate page of the manifesto, but @LambethLibDems and the lovely Lambeth Tories can see through the twaddle that the Lambeth Big Society Co-op is.

Derrick Anderson it would seem is now doing the political work for the ruling Labour party in the borough. It is a move that resonates with the recent suspension of @LambethLabour’s Councillor Abrams, following the carrying out of a political act by an apolitical council officer.

I wonder why @cllrstevereed hasn’t been keen to milk more of the co-op model in his local patch? The fine fella has been happy to pimp himself out pretty much everywhere else of late, chest beating the progressive approach of setting up a Citizen’s Commission that doesn’t actually contain any citizens.

*Wednesday 2nd June, 19:30 update*

Cheers to @CllrMarkBennett, for pointing out that possibly purdah comes into play once again, with the Tulse Hill Situation. It’s still the same positive New Labour spin, no matter who is the messenger though.

Moving on…

Elsewhere in Lambeth Life, and the good people of Vassall ward are none the wiser about why one of their councillors is missing. There is no mention whatsoever of the removal of Councillor Abram’s @LambethLabour whip. The Tulse Hill Situation is explained, with the reporting of:

“Tulse Hill residents will vote in a by-election following the resignation of Labour councillor Toren Smith. The election comes less than a month after the local and national elections and will be held on July 1.”

That Lambeth Life family favourite of the Star Letter throws up the Streatham Question once again, with Jane Parke of SW16 observing:

“I viewed the plans [for Streatham Hub] on display at the proposed site and was reassured by architects and Tesco representatives that the current ice rink would remain open until the new rink was completed.

And now I am concerned that groups of residents who have the same collective goal - continuous use of the ice rink - are being pitched against each other.”

The Streatham Question has gone rather quite in the south of our borough in recent weeks. Time is ticking, and answers still need to be given about the location of the temporary ice rink, now that cabinet has caved in to the demands of the superstore.

But back up in the north end of the borough and contained within my #hyperlocal edition of Lambeth Life was a leaflet from the good folk of the Oval Safer Neighbourhoods Panel. As blogged before, this is a great initiative that allows local residents to set the agenda and hold to account the policing within their particular patch.

Except that it appears that participation in the Oval SNP is a closed shop. Oh dear. I had my doubts whilst attending the recent Fentiman, Richbourne and Dorset Road Resident’s Association. A rather decent and friendly lady told me that she was the representative for Dorset Road.

The SNP leaflet suggests the same closed shop policy. The next meeting on June 8th *isn’t* advertised, and there is no suggestion that the SNP is an open policy platform for all to attend. Which rather makes a mockery of the Neighbourhood tag.

Still, it could be worse; it could be a co-operative form of crime control.

That’s Life!

“Four more years!” was the rally call coming out of Lambeth Town Hall during the local election count in the early hours of Saturday morning. I didn’t think the local politicos were talking about four more years of Lambeth Life.

Oh Lordy.

So yeah, following the 44 seats and massive 43% share of the vote enjoyed by our friends @LambethLabour, the @LambethLibDems manifesto pledge has been reduced to just that - paper talk to get rid of a ‘newspaper’ that many in the Rotten Borough could well do without.

Now that we are officially out of purdah (were we ever actually in it?) and not surprisingly, Lambeth Life leads with the local elections:

“It was a nail-biting time for many at the town hall, with a swarm of vote counters, politicians, council officers and journalists local bloggers all hotly anticipating the results.”

“Hotly anticipating” the results is stretching it slightly. As soon as the red bundles started to mount up on the counting tables shortly after 4pm, the resumption of the Red Flag flying over Lambeth Town Hall was never in any serious doubt.

But just in case you want to check who to hold to account over the pledges made on the doorstep over the last month, Lambeth Life helpfully adds:

“For the full local results breakdown go to: www.lambeth.gov.uk/elections2010.”

*ahem*

Gotcha!

Speaking of truth and accuracy, post election and we see a return of @cllrstevereed‘s Leader’s Column in Lambeth Life - hurrah!

“There is uncertainty nationally and funding for local services will be tighter, but we will work with the new national government to make sure we win the best possible deal for the people of Lambeth.”

Really?

Looks like the @LambethLabour leader may have a few bridges to build first with the ConDem coalition, before the best possible deal for the people of Lambeth can be put in place.

@cllrstevereed signs off with the optimistic:

“I am determined that we will deliver on the promises we have made.”

Me too, my friend, me too. I am determined to see that the public consultation promised back in February regarding the mutualisation of local government is actually implemented. I look forward to seeing how the doorstep election pledge of “free swimming for every resident” is also rolled out.

But what of the Little People of Lambeth? The Letters page puts forward the case from a local Herne Hill resident, who shares in my observations that the new Brockwell Park junction has left us with a great big bodge job down in SE24:

“While the borough is aiming to encourage greater use of public transport and greener policies, the road works at Herne Hill demonstrate a complete failure to maintain the simple and congenial integration of bus and rail travel which existed earlier.”

The right of reply offered up by Hayden Tuck [ACE name] the Principle Transport Engineer at Lambeth Housing, Regeneration and Environment states:

“The Herne Hill Junction Regeneration scheme is already delivering major benefits including better pedestrian crossing facilities, improved access to Brockwell Park, upgraded provision for cyclists, faster movement of buses through the junction and a much more attractive public environment.”

Blimey.

Where’s the empirical evidence for this, Mr Tuck? My analysis of the bodged Brockwell Park junction, on a busy Saturday morning, suggests the exact opposite of this observation.

Sticking with the Letters page, and it is a return to that old South London favourite that refuses to be silenced within the Rotten Borough:

Streatham Hub.

Oh Lordy…

Sally Knocker [ACE name #2] um, knocks the knockers that say NO! to a temporary ice rink being dumped on the green land of Streatham Common:

“Just when we thought a solution might be in sight for a temporary ice rink on the common in order for the much awaited new Streatham Hub to progress, it looks like a small but vociferous group might thwart the temporary planning application.”

Fair point, but the New South London Politics (get you) that has seen the formation of the Hands Off Our Common group is pretty much a Who’s Who of resident interest groups in Streatham.

“Whilst no one would want to permanently reduce green space (which obviously a temporary planning approval would not allow in any case), it seems a shame that those who protest do not realise that an even more precious community resource could well be lost. The Ice Rink provides enormous joy even in its current neglected state.”

Overlooking the subjective analysis that an ice rink is “more precious” than a historic piece of public land, Mss Knocker doesn’t address the local concerns that the temporary may become the permanent.

Tesco hasn’t exactly got a tremendous track record down in SW16 of telling the locals the truth. Failing to send a representative to the Hub meeting is hardly the sign of a constructive, local partnership. The power balance in the deal remains with the multi-national. Tesco can walk away from the scheme at any period in the next two years, leaving a bulldozed old barn of a rink, and a temporary pad on the Common, that then becomes permanent.

But anyway - I’m not alone in such an underhand analysis of how the Hub deal may develop over the coming months. @CllrMarkBennett, the local Streatham South @LambethLabour Councillor, and @cllrstevereed, both told me at the election count in the early hours of Saturday morning that “other options” are now being explored by cabinet for the location of the temporary rink.

Phew.

p7. in Lambeth Life and my heart (and foot) was in my mouth when I read
The headline:

New Twist for Classic Game…

“Young people on Lambeth’s peer education scheme have come up with a new version of a popular board game to help teach others about sexual health.”

Eeek!

Sexual health? Teenagers? Twister?

Surely not…

“The team have developed a giant version of snakes and ladders that they will be taking into secondary schools around the borough.”

Ignoring the schoolboy humour about giant snakes in a sexual health game, and the project does seem to be addressing a key issue for young people in an imaginative way. I wish them well.

The Eco Matters feature on p.10 address the farce that is the Cycle Superhighway that is being rolled out across the borough. Essentially a scheme championed by Boris, the aptly coloured blue carpet approach to bicycling has been badly conceived.

Any colour blind bicyclist could be forgiven in not noticing any difference in the provision for cycle safety. The Cycle Super Highway is simply a painting of the existing (and inefficient) cycle lanes blue.

Job well done, Boris.

The Clap’ham Road has already rolled out (incomplete) stretches of the blue carpet, with a further stop / start stretch also in place heading up Larkhall Rise. Urban Cyclist has highlighted the folly that is spending a small fortune out of the transport budget on a scheme that still fails to address the fundamental issue of crap car drivers.

And finally…

The Lambeth Crossword on p18. had me stumped at the first hurdle:

1. Across - They’re simply revolting, six letters.

I don’t think it started with an L and ends in an R, but you never know…

That’s Life!

And so the final ever edition of Lambeth Life has rolled off the printing presses and been delivered to the good people of the borough - all for 5p per issue, as the masthead is ever keen to point out.

Ah, but will issue #92 really be a fond farewell for everyone’s favourite local information news sheet? Can Lambeth Life limp along to reach centurion status?

That all depends on the electorate, and whether @LambethLabour retains control of @lambeth_council (and Lambeth Life,) or whether @LambethLibDems are running the Town Hall on May 7th and implementing their manifesto policy of pulping the council publication.

[Still waiting for clarification as to exactly where the LibDems would place the local authority statutory ads an alternative to Lambeth Life. One would imagine that our friends at @SthLondonPress are also wondering the same.]

But anyway - Lambeth Life, the last hurrah. Does the flag waving newspaper for all that is brilliant in the borough, keep up the pretence for (possibly) one final fling?

You betcha.

First off - are we out of purdah? I only ask because the politically persuasive headline of Primary Places For All is the lead in the latest edition of Lambeth Life:

“Lambeth schools are performing well, which makes them a popular choice for parents all over London.”

Nodding my head in agreement at the fine work that teachers, support staff and of course the kids are putting in at Lambeth schools (with a little help from @LambethLabour), but hang on - “a popular choice for parents *all* over London?”

Um, shouldn’t Lambeth schools be for Lambeth kids? @LambethLabour has been quick to make political capital out of the building (and privatisation) of new schools in the borough.

Are we really building these new schools just so that some pushy parent across the *shhh* LibDem Southwark border can parachute Little Johnny into a decent Lambeth school?

And so the purdah friendly headline of: Primary Places For All is actually Primary Places For All of London - Not Just Lambeth.

It’s fine to boast about your rather good record in education, just be prepared for the consequences, should you shout about it a little *too* enthusiastically ahead of the election. It could come back to bite you on the backside when Lambeth kids can’t get a place in a Lambeth school ahead of the next local election.

Moving on…

Cash Counsellors is the headline in the panel on p2. Nope, it doesn’t refer to the Cash Councillors and the £40k a year that the career politicians in the @lambeth_council cabinet are trousering, but:

“A new service to help people get to grips with money is being offered in the borough.”

Immediately below is the Election Ward Finder. @janeinlondon / East Hampshire, of my local Oval / E Hants parish, may find some use for the:

“…new tool that makes it easier to find the polling station you need to cast your vote.”

The Lambeth Picture displays a rather decent photograph of some kids enjoying Windrush Square. The summer weather has really brightened up Brixton. Windrush Square *might* just become a central point for the community in which to meet.

The photo features a kid on a BMX riding through the water fountains - the cheeky scamp! Best stick to yer BMX, young lady. Skateboards are strictly out of bounds at Windrush Square, with local coppers coming down heavy on South London Yoof.

More serious matters are addressed under the headline of: Fire Safety Measures Stepped Up:

“Thousands of homes in Lambeth will be fitted with fire alarms this year as part of an ongoing initiative to improve safety.”

This is a move that can’t come soon enough, especially so considering the rather damning report that found that the council has only two fire certificates for the 112 housing blocks that come under the council stock.

Over to p5. and: Herne Hill Junction Almost Complete.

“A new junction designed to improve safety and cut down on tailbacks is now live [um, sort of...] Work has been going on at the Herne Hill junction opposite the entrance to Brockwell Park for almost a year.”

I prefer the LibDem analysis of:

“Whenever they [@LambethLabour] spot a green space in the borough, they seem to want to build on it. They talk openly these days about the new, exciting and improved Herne Hill Road Junction, formerly known as Brockwell Park.”

Ouch.

Speaking of building upon green spaces, it is fitting that (possibly) the final edition of Lambeth Life has a Star Letter that licks the arse of Tesco and the compromise of a deal that allows the supermarket chain to build upon Streatham Common in return for an increased store space:

“Whilst I agree that it is far from ideal to have a temporary structure on the Common, am I the only one who thinks the overall Hub is a great opportunity for Streatham South?”

…asks Arabella McNeill of SW16.

Not at all. When / if the Hub is finally opened, I am sure it will be ace. It’s just the compromise deal to situate the continuity of ice provision, not to mention the temporary swimming pool and gym, on one of the last great green and treasured pieces of land in the borough that is so bruising.

Brilliant Brockwell is the headline for a second letter, with Keith Hindell agreeing that green space in Lambeth should be celebrated:

“In the fifty years of living in Dulwich I have never seen Brockwell Park look better. Everywhere the turf seems in good condition, for the dozen different sports being played informally, as well as sitting around for a picnic.”

Spot on. Brockwell Park is as brilliant as it is beautiful. The same goes for Vauxhall Park, Larkhall Park, Kennington Park and Clap’ham Common. The parks and public spaces in Lambeth are another success story in the borough over the past four years. Please let’s keep them green, rather than pimping them out as the pay off deal with giant supermarket chains.

How to Mend a Puncture on p15. is another great feature, with the friendly folk from Apex in Clap’ham giving a thirteen-point picture guide on how to do the dirty. I always seem to fall down around point number three. A decent and most useful use of local authority newspaper space.

Likewise for Wheels Start Rolling Again, the rather heart warming story on the back page of Lambeth Life, telling of how the Wheels for Wellbeing charity is back in business:

“A charity that lets people with disabilities enjoy cycling is back on track again, after an arson attack forced it to close last year. Wheels for Wellbeing began its Brockwell Park based cycle scheme last year, but was forced into an untimely closure when fire destroyed its base and all of its specially adapted bike.”

But will there be a similar happy ending for Lambeth Life? That is for the good people of Lambeth decide next week. Sure - there are more important issues to base your vote on, such as housing, education and the “financial tsunami” that is about to hit Lambeth PCT.

But a vote for @LambethLabour is also a vote for a return of the grinning politicians each fortnight, telling you exactly why they are worth £40k a year for a cabinet post.

A vote for @LambethLibDems is a vote for… well, I’m not entirely sure when it comes to Lambeth Life. The ‘information news sheet’ may be pulped, but what it will be replaced with is my concern.

That’s Life!

In the absence of being inundated with political literature through the letterbox in recent weeks, it was with some enthusiasm that I celebrated the arrival of the latest edition of Lambeth Life.

Seriously.

The @lambeth_council ‘information news sheet’ is usually the best place to find out all the latest, wonderful achievements of our fine standing local politicians.

With purdah now in full effect, propaganda dressed up within an information news sheet has gone the same way as promised public consultations - hushed to one side until the door knocking is out of the way for another four years.

And so Issue 91 looks like being the penultimate print run of Lambeth Life, assuming @LambethLibems have their way. A return to a LibCon coalition will mean no more information news sheets within the Rotten Borough.

Best make the most of it whilst you still can.

Which is why I rather enjoyed my read of Lambeth Life this fortnight. There’s a cracking photograph on p2 of a Penny Farthing taking on the contours of Stockwell Skate Park.

Likewise below, for a photograph of the amazing art installation, about to be revealed @BrockwellLido.

The Leader’s Column has been written for the last time by @cllrstevereed (or has it…?) and instead, the much more enjoyable Guest Column is penned by the affable Lemonte Johnson.

The community arts campaigner will be recognisable to both Brockwell Park and Lido regulars. Lemonte is the bloke behind Bling Your Bike, an organisation that helps kids to personalise their bicycles.

Lemonte also works incredibly hard behind the scenes at Brockwell Park, and uses the column to promote the summer series of events scheduled as part of the madforbrockwellpark festival.

A fine column. It’s got to be better than banging your own chest and talking about why you should be re-elected.

But all of this apolitical appreciation can’t carry on. A flick through to p4 of Lambeth Life and we get to the Star Letter.

Oh Lordy.

Ice Rink Opposition is the title of the piece penned by Peter Newmark, Vice-chair of the Friends of Streatham Common. As outlined as the special cabinet meeting to seal the Streatham Hub deal, the Friends group has put to print it’s plans to oppose planning permission for the temporary ice rink on the Common.

No response is offered by a Council official to the letter - blame purdah; it’s a common theme for local politicians right now.

A secondonday letter sticks with the same SW16 leisure theme. John W Brown writes an eloquent piece, looking at the alternative locations to house the temporary provision. He suggests St Julian’s Farm Road Sports Ground, Woodmansterne School Sports Ground, Valley Road Sports Ground (also favoured by the Cabinet Member for Employment and Enterprise) and the Adare Centre.

The Labour led @lambeth_council cabinet confirmed at the special Hub meeting that twelve sites were considered to house the temporary facilities. Unlike John W Brown writing in Lambeth Life, the cabinet refused to make the location of these sites public.

Still, at least a response is offered to the letter by Sandra Fryer, the Divisional Director of Strategy and Partnerships. Sandra also fails to disclose which other sites were considered, although she does find the space to repeat the many advantages that the Labour led cabinet believes will come out of the Hub.

The boost to the local economy still appears to be an up and down issue. The Cabinet Member for Employment and Enterprise stated 600 jobs in total would be created in Streatham. Lambeth Life last month revised this figure to 400. We’re back to 600 once again this month with the response from Sandra Fryer.

Moving on…

There’s a half-decent feature on the council list of historical buildings in the borough that need protection. A charming photograph is provided of a neo-Georgian style Clap’ham building, looking much like the neo-Georgian Clap’ham Pool that was recently demolished.

Whoops.

The fortnightly Madchester music feature that looks slightly out of place in a Lambeth newspaper, has also taken a change for the better. No Hooky or Shaun Ryder, but instead Rob B of the Stereo MCs. Rob is a Brixton Boy via Nottingham (yikes) and can be seen for his sins as a regular at Brixton Rec (double yikes.)

And that’s about yer lot. Twenty pages of engaging local content, and not a single picture of a smug looking local politician. The purdah period does have its advantages.

We’ll miss Lambeth Life once @LambethLibDems pulp the paper - assuming the electorate agree with the Love Me I’m a Liberal Lot and their policy of cutting down on propaganda. I wonder where all those statutory local authority ads will appear then? I think @LambethLibDems are also pondering the exact same question.

Who would have thought that a local council ‘information news sheet’ would become caught up in such political intrigue?

Until one more time…

That’s Life!