onionbagblog

Another month, another Wivenhoe Farmer’s Market at the Congregational Hall. They are a sturdy lot, these farmer types. With the Wivenhoe weather more suited to paddy fields rather than poultry farming, the rain didn’t deter the five fruit ‘n veg a day hunters.

I needed meat. Preferably raw meat that I could devour with my bare hands on the short walk back to base. But failing that, a selection of frozen half cuts from the brilliant bargain bin from Primrose Farm should see me through the weekend.

The good lady farmer Mss Primrose didn’t disappoint. Four bargain offerings of your finest sausage meat, Madam, and I had a farmer’s rosy glow to my cheeks.

Spicing things up in the Congregational Hall was the welcome addition of a Caribbean traditional food stall. It wasn’t quite jerk chicken comes to Wivenhoe, but the added variety seemed to be going down well.

Back to basics outside, and I also stocked up with onions, lettuce and a particularly long cucumber. It put my prize courgette to shame, both in size and succulence.

I still find it slightly disappointing that basic veg such as apples, oranges and bananas etc are about as rare as those mythical badgers along the banks of the Colne. No worries - a brief trip down to the ever reliable Cansdale and Ross and we were soon sorted.

These are interesting (and slightly worrying) times for the hyperlocal Wivenhoe fruit and veg trade. I like to try and support both the Farmer’s Market and Cansdale.

I hate to rain on yer parade, but we certainly would miss them, if either were to disappear…

When Saturday Comes and all you want to do with your Wivenhoe weekend is to read the papers in bed, take an afternoon wander down to the Quay and then stumble out of The Station sometime before the National Lottery winners are announced.

No chance.

To the Farmer’s Market! …was the rallying call to kick start the weekend for @AnnaJCowen and I. The Congregational Hall had the usual fine local produce on sale, as well as some charming conversations with traders who like to talk, rather than concentrate on the hard sell.

We didn’t come out with a wicker basket brimming with North Essex country fare, but a rucksack stuffed full of sausage meat and beetroot. These will come in handy, believe me.

The Wivenhoe Community Safety Neighbourhood Watch Group also had representation. It’s good to be a local busy body etc, but don’t have nightmares. The recent police crime map for this area in April may look a little alarming, but out of the eleven incidents of violent crime, only four were reported in Wivenhoe, with the remaining seven coming from our friends over in Rowhedge.

must.pay.a.trip.to.rowhedge.later.in.the.day

But first off, how about keeping up the busy body theme and poking yer face around local garages?

Blimey.

Nope, it’s not a new obsessive architectural peccadillo that is affecting the North Essex estuary, but the Grand Garage Trail kindly organised by the good folk of St Mary’s Church.

Hurrah!

Originally started by Cansdale and Ross under the Wivenhoe Braderie banner two years ago, the Grand Garage Trail is now a glorified car boot sale taking place around the town.

Maps were purchased the day before, and then much like the splendid Open Gardens of last month, we wandered around Wivenhoe and were welcomed into the properties of various folk around the town.

The event was as broad and as bonkers as you wanted it to be. Many garages were doing great business in re-selling on children’s toys that have been outgrown. Local art also featured heavily. I was disappointed in not being able to walk away with the underground safe on sale along the High Street.

It all got a little lost as we wandered into the Loveless Hall by mistake - often the best way to wander into the Loveless Hall - and found that we had strayed into a separate sale organised by the Colchester Twins Club.

Double cripes.

Cake was on hand to calm us down, and to give us a kick up the backside to take on the remaining Grand Garage Trail down towards the Quay.

A quick chat at Curiosity, and we reflected on the quality of the stock sold within. But time and tide wait for no Grand Garage Trailers, and as we exited left along Station Road, we saw that the legendary Grand Garage dinghy has been bought, and was already being prepared for a launch at the Rowhedge Regatta later in the day.

No worries.

The girl and I made up for our nautical loss with some lovely bargains of our own. A pair of panniers, a darts board, a kitchen chair and a chopping board (free from Builder Mark, natch) - all clocked in at precisely £10.

The panniers in particular were quite a find - the conversation that followed was priceless. It seems that I’m not alone with my Moulton collection within Wivenhoe.

The town undoubtedly has many talents, but topping the list for me is the claim to fame of the chap I purchased the panniers off - he only test rode the original Moultons back in the day.

Chapeau!

Seedy exchanges followed, with an ill met by iPhone fading light presentation of the bonkers multi-coloured Moulton. I’ve still to actually ride the machine around the town. @AnnaJCowen reckons that even the ‘homosexual meets the beast‘ hybrid of the design is a little risqué, even for Wivenhoe.

Was that the day done, Comrades?

Nope - we’ve barely started. Booze had yet to feature, and there’s nothing I like more than a Wivenhoe lunchtime tipple whilst admiring quality local artwork and enjoying local conversations.

To the Wivenhoe Gallery! …etc for the opening of the Spanish Paintings exhibition by local artists Michael and Julia. Running for two weeks down at the Wivenhoe Business Centre, the rich Mediterranean landscapes are most certainly worthy of a visit.

The love of the Spanish culture came across in the artwork, and the conversation that followed with Michael and Julia. I pressed them on the possibilities for their future muse, and was pleased to hear that Wivenhoe landscape painting is certainly a work in progress.

With my lunchtime muse of red wine having fired me up, I was ready to stand on the edge of the Quay, survey the Rose and Crown customers and gaze out with a glazed over eye across the estuary and declare:

“To Rowhedge!”

Oh Lordy.

The fighting talk of the red plonk has sunk many a galleon, but not the Wivenhoe and Rowhedge Ferry. This was Regatta Day for that other lot on the opposite banks of the Colne. It only seemed polite to turn up and see how our near neighbours can put on a party.

We weren’t alone in our Wivenhoe wanderings. It seemed that half of the town had pitched up at either The Anchor or The Albion, observing the sea crafts of differing sizes sail past. There was always the possibility of some riverside rubbernecking as a particularly graceful smack came close to cutting up a kayak.

Whoops.

Crabbing, as ever, was incredibly popular. The hit and miss weather seemed to fit perfectly with the Dark Side theme. With the waters of the Colne disappearing faster than my pint of Kent Best, concern soon turned towards how the chuffers we could get back to base.

No one wants to be stranded in Rowhedge on a Saturday evening, but the Kent Best booze was making a decent job of damage limitation. A catch up with the fine @Colchester101 - whoops there goes another pier, whoops there goes another pint of beer, etc.

Anything that Wivenhoe can do, Rowhedge of course likes to think that it can do better. We don’t like to talk about *shhh* the May Fair police helicopter, and I’m sure Rowhedge folk were a little weary of the chopper action overhead on Saturday.

I’m not usually one to deal with rumours (oh no, not me, Sireee…) but talk did turn to the possible return of the random Rowhedge tired and emotional swimmer.

Oh Lordy.

One thing that Rowhedge definitely does do better than Wivenhoe is to assemble together a group of local males who then tug away on a large rope in tandem.

“We’re from Wivenhoe - we drink beer, not pull rope” was the rallying cry that was later rolled out to justify the slip slidin’ spectacle of the Wivenhoe Tug of War team.

The Rowhedge chaps may be great at tugging away, but no so brilliant on the booze front. Chundering quayside just ahead of the grand Tug of War final is not quite dignified estuary etiquette, Sir.

With the estuary water now looking as limp as the Wivenhoe tug of war team effort (said the poncey bloke watching from the sidelines…) contingency plans were needed for the Great Escape.

Cometh the hour, cometh the good @Colchester101, who kindly drove us all the way down to the Hythe, and then back up Clingoe Hill once again. There was to be one more surprise waiting for us back at base - a new houseguest staying in the shed.

Meowww.

Moving Image was on our Saturday evening radar. Ever one to keep it local, the screening of Fishtank was trumped by a lovely, lovely hyperlocal invite to… go round next door for an evening of games and booze.

Brilliant!

And so just another quiet Wivenhoe weekend, you say?

Wivenhoe - you are wearing me out. But you wear it out oh so well.

Full flickr stream over here.

Rumours of the demise of the esteemed organ of truth and justice that is The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle are as premature as rumours of the demise of my king size courgette.

Sure, it took a bit of a battering the other day (courgette, not the Chronicle) but both still stand proud and mighty; both equally respected as they are eagerly awaited once a fortnight.

Recent conversations around the town have led to some doubt about the future of The Chronicle. Wivenhoe is built upon rumour and assumptions. If you were to dig a big hole at the foot of Black Buoy Hill, you’d find buried away some of the many myths that have been doing the rounds over the centuries, usually after an afternoon spent boozing away.

Is there a Roman bath along Bath Street? Is Bowie the *shhh* secret headliner for May Fair? Has the Chronicle chronicled local life around these parts for the very last time?

Two out of three ‘aint bad, my lovelies…

And so with a rusty squeak of the old letterbox, and a cheerful smile from Scoop as he wanders off into some magical Wivenhoe kingdom for dreamers and journos: it’s only the May 2011 edition of The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Hurrah!

As is now customary on m’blog, I don’t give a blind man’s buff about those buggers down the road at Brightlingsea. Nice enough folk ‘n all that, but as ever, start yer own b****y hyperlocal blog, Comrades.

And so a turning of the grubby newsprint, and we’re straight in with all the local news and scandal that is fit to print about Wivenhoe. How about starting with The Local Election Results?

Oh Lordy.

Except there wasn’t any seismic change in the local political landscape in the May elections that have just passed. Smiling Councillor Steve Ford continues to smile away down at the Quay, doing his #workingforwivenhoe red flag waving. His Comrade in the Colchester coalition (cripes) - the young man about town Councillor Mark Cory - kept his LibDem seat up at the Cross.

Wivenhoe Town Council meanwhile is left with two spanners short of a full toolbox, with two new Councillors needed for co-option to complete the full quota of thirteen.

Scoop reports:

“At Wivenhoe, Steve Ford, Labour, comfortably retained the town’s Quay ward, securing 1,279 votes, more than double that of his nearest rival, the Conservative candidate Mercedes Mussard [ACE name.]

Waving the simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play, Scoop adds:

“It was an exceptionally good achievement by this particularly active Labour candidate, once described by the Deputy Prime Minister Harriet Harman during one of her visits as being one of the hardest working local councillors in the region.”

Hear, hear (to the hardest working, and not in praise of the fragrant Hattie. Phew.)

But don’t just look at little Wivenhoe; nope - move up the map and towards the bigger picture of the Cross. The Chronicle reports:

“Across much of the country there were dismal results for the Liberal Democrats, but in the Wivenhoe Cross ward, Mark Cory, the young 23 year old candidate [easy, ladies] helped to stem the tide against his party, retaining the seat with the support of 673 votes.”

It of course helped the cause of the “young” Cllr Cory (what is this - a Grace Brothers sitcom?) that the #workingforwivenhoe red flag flying comrades pretty much deserted the locals during the campaign, concentrating on the campus instead.

Whoops.

To complete the local political picture, the Chronicle lead concludes:

“There was no election for places on Wivenhoe Town Council as only ten candidates stood for the thirteen available seats.”

It was actually eleven candidates, but then that simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play probably got lost down a back seat at The Greyhound.

Passing over all the Brightlingsea puff, and then on p.2 we come across:

Art and Poetry in the Trenches.

Walk it like you talk it, Comrades:

“A one day course entitled Art and Poetry in the Trenches, presented by Graham Slimming and Colin Padgett, will be run by the WEA in Wivenhoe next month. This course will be held on 11th June at the Congregational Hall, from 10:30am to 4pm.”

Janice Allen on 824470 secures you a booking.

My eyes were momentarily fixed upon the big blueness that is the advert for Brightlingsea Open Air Swimming Pool as the p.3 pin up. I am historically a man suited to an outdoor aquatic lifestyle. Fifteen summers have been spent swimming in unheated lidos.

I spent one spring afternoon walking past the Brightlingsea Open-Air Pool / oversized duck pond, and thought, nah - that’s no pool, my friends: that’s a large hole in the ground with a bit of a drainage situation.

There’s Plenty of Entertainment at the May Fair [*cough* Bowie] is the p.4 headline. It’s pretty much a run through of the May Fair Committee press release, covering the fact that a rather ace line up including Ady Johnson (see) local lad Lou Terry (MUST see) Cav OK (pals) and Housework (hardest working band in, um, Sunny Colch) will all be helping you to get tired and emotional at the KGV, come Bank Holiday Monday.

Pages 10 and 11 cover a couple of lovely, lovely local stories, which although haven’t been picked up the nationals, they certainly represent the charm and quality in which the Chronicle is so respected for locally.

Hearing Dogs for Deaf People… is all about the Hearing Day Centre which runs a weekly hearing clinic at the lovely Wivenhoe Eyecare. The target of £5,000 has just been reached to help sponsor a hearing dog:

“The centre has been raising funds over several years for Hearing Dogs for Deaf People, through donations from its clients, and larger events such as golf days.”

Meanwhile, Deans’ Nursery and Garden Centre Celebrates Fifty Years of Trading pretty much Tells It Like It Is in the headline for a story with a very proud local Wivenhoe history:

“In the late 1950s two young brothers, having just completed a horticultural course at the Writtle Agricultural College near Chelmsford, started to grow outdoor tomatoes in Wivenhoe. The brothers, Anthony and Steve Dean, son of the Wivenhoe GP, the late Dr William Dean, ran this modest enterprise behind the old cemetery just off Belle View Road.”

The business is now based on the Harwich Road at Great Bromley. It is managed by Sarah Dean, the granddaughter of Dr Dean. It may be a puff piece of advertorial, but it’s a lovely read in The Chronicle, rightfully celebrating half a century of trading from a local business.

An Afternoon Upstairs with Martin Newell on p.12 once again tells you all you need to know. With locally baked cakes being promised upstairs at The Greyhound on the afternoon of 11th June, tickets are selling like… hot cakes. Seriously - get yourself down to the Bookshop for a £4 bargain.

Wivenhoe’s Funny Farm for this Thursday (26th) gets a plug on p.15.

“Headliner is the outrageous Californian comic Scott Capurro, familiar to watchers of 8 out of 10 cats. MC will be Wivenhoe’s very own [and most splendid] Hazel Humphreys. The show starts at the Cricket Club at 8pm with £6 on the door.”

And finally…

Mrs. Ackroyd at the Wivenhoe Folk Club.

Cripes.

“On 2nd June, Wivenhoe Folk Club are hosting Mrs. Ackroyd as their main guests. Mrs. Ackroyd is a band, not a person.”

Blimey.

It is this type of bonkers news in brief that separates the wheat from the chaff, and also separates the exceedingly splendid Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle from some of the crap that gets pushed our way via the nationals.

The Chronicle may be in rude health, but that’s a fine position in which to preach from.

The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is distributed free amongst local households. Additional copies are 25p from local newsagents.

To The Nottage once again on Wednesday evening for a committee meeting with the lovely WivSoc folk. With the smell of yacht varnish in the barn below being mixed up with the aroma of booze from the Rose and Crown along the Quay, this was something of a Wivenhoe moment.

There is always a sense of great history in entering the Nottage. You feel that you are truly experiencing something of Wivenhoe’s past - and hopefully the future, with WivSoc pushing forward a positive agenda for the town.

Of course you could always replicate the experience by brewing yacht beer and drinking it in your garden shed on a Wednesday evening once a month. But that would mean that you would miss the WivSoc stories. These blog posts don’t write themselves, y’know…

As ever, a varied agenda of the serious and trivial was in store. Off the Rails was up first. A request for assistance has been made by the local arts groups that is responsible for putting in place public art at Wivenhoe Station.

Off the Rails has been officially adopted by Network Rail as the organisation in which to promote art along the platforms. The potential problem is that Off the Rails may be ace at art, but has little experience of organising. WivSoc has been asked for advice.

Although not really coming under the WivSoc remit, it was agreed that conversations with Off the Rails should continue, with a view to helping the group become more self-sufficient. Another suggestion was to steer Off the Rails with the recent moves to re-start the legendary Wivenhoe Arts Club.

I’m not quite sure how this happened, but the debate then somehow let drop that the Station Master’s House has had something of a roof falling in on the world moment: THE ROOF REALLY HAS FALLEN IN, apparently, with the first floor coming crashing down.

Whoops.

Exactly where this leaves the fine Transition Town Wivenhoe and the ambitious (and ace) plans to turn the building into a sustainable community centre remains to be seen. TTW has a war chest of community goodwill, but sadly not a blank cheque to re-build Wivenhoe.

Sticking with matters fiscal, and it seems that WivSoc has saved the UK economy.

Cripes.

Recent changes in tax and insurance law means that the Chancellor has been presented with an extra £3.10 to help reduce the deficit.

We’re all in this together, Comrades.

Planning looked at the proposed development of nine new properties along Rectory Road. I still don’t quite get this ‘development’ terminology; it seems to suggest moving forward, an advancement, a development, if you will. But what if the development [urgh] is actually a step back?

They usually are…

Record Road has been previously submitted, and then withdrawn. It is now back in the hands of Colchester Borough Council. WivSoc has no formal objection, apart from a passing comment on the access road planned. A letter is being drawn up to put this point across. Town planning speak for re-wording of the phrase “jolly nasty design” were then discussed.

It is at this stage in the development (aha!) that it is perhaps worth reminding folk of the recent changes in the CBC planning application process. New applications will by-pass the Committee and go straight to council officers, UNLESS two formal objections are made. These need to be put in place through your local CBC ward councillor.

A hop, skip and a jump down Rectory Road, via an afternoon bender at the Rose and Crown (steady) and we’re at Cook’s. We’re also at the point that no WivSoc committee meeting would be complete without: the development [urgh, urgh] of the old shipyard.

A diligent spot on the CBC database by our esteemed Queen of Planning, and it seems that a variance in use has been put forward for the commercial developments along from the Quay.

The units were originally intended for commercial use for home workers as a business unit. The suggestion now is that they will be able to open up on Sundays and Bank Holidays, and also have the option to serve refreshments outdoors.

With On the Corner (nee the Corner House) now focussing on the evening economy, having one more place to purchase coffee in Wivenhoe during the daytime has to be seen as something worth welcoming.

Keeping with the public space theme, it seems that the old St John’s Ambulance building has become embroiled in a bit of a local tug of law. Time to repeat my personal mantra of not commenting in public on private planning applications. Still holding out for that nightclub at the bottom of the garden…

With Moving Image finding funding problems for the long-term purchase of the building, a local artist is interested in taking over St John’s for studio space. This includes the possibility of opening up for exhibitions.

*Some* members of Wivenhoe Town Council though are unhappy with this move. They see the building as one of the few remaining possibilities to keep it as a shared community resource. Booking a public venue in Wivenhoe is becoming increasingly difficult. *Some* members of WTC would like to keep all options open.

I wouldn’t stretch it out as far as calling it a rival bid, but a second group is in the running to try and restore the building for community use. A figure of £25,000 has been quoted to carry out repairs. It appears that the second group already has this capital.

I’m not ruling out a *ahem* THIRD bid, should my application for the nightclub in the back garden be turned down.

Keeping it social and the WivSoc is genuinely overjoyed with the tremendous success of the recent riverbank clean up. This was the most successful yet, with 80 volunteers turning up on a Sunday morning to help make the Colne a little bit cleaner.

The results are there to see - a tidal litter free stretch, all the way down to the Hythe. WivSoc was particularly happy to see young volunteers from the Hub and the Scouts and Guides coming out to help.

Cleaning up the Colne has become something of uniting community issue (or maybe not…) with some lovely plans to stretch out across the other side and involve our friends from Rowhedge.

It has been suggested that WivSoc twins future clean ups with the Rowhedge lot. We can even wave to one another from the other side. I know which half of the great divide I’d wager has the greater amount of mess to clean up.

Other social news includes a welcome return of the WivSoc wine tasting evening, taking place this year on the 18th November at the Congregational Hall. Our friends from the Co-op are once again very kindly providing the booze.

Chin chin.

But try and keep it sober - here comes that nice Mr Mayor with his formal report from the recent WTC meeting. I say formal, but the Dress Down Wednesday and affable approach of our civic leader, kept it all rather light-hearted.

A fair few serious issues however:

The proposed new Health Centre behind the Fire Station has seen considerable movement in recent weeks. As previously reported, Mr Mayor has held a meeting with the PCT, leaving Councillor Sinclair:

“More positive than at any stage before.”

Basically the PTC wants a decision imminently, ahead of the proposed national government shake-up of the NHS. A meeting of the Executive is being held next month, where a final decision is expected to be made.

Mr Mayor reported that the site itself is now ready for construction. The last remaining planning hurdle (a stray tree root) has now been resolved. Slight cynicism though from some sections of WivSoc, with mumblings of we’ve been here before…

Mr Mayor then spoke of his personal quest to:

“Bang a few heads together to try and get some co-operation from our local councillors.”

Cripes.

Not in the literal sense of course, but with currently two LibDems, One Tory and one Labour councillor, Mr Mayor is concerned that possible Section 106 funds coming out of the Knowledge Gateway might get lost in the political fog of tribal party politics.

The Cross ward has been singled out as being in most urgent need of new funds. A hit list of possible projects has been drawn up by WTC. I’d personally like to see a tag team-wrestling contest featuring all four councillors.

Purchasing the old police station houses is also a current priority for Mr Mayor:

“Most town councillors are on board with the concept. There is a feeling that this is a one-off opportunity to keep these under public use. We dare not let go of them.”

The police apparently quoted a figure of £400,000 four years ago, although WTC holds strong that this was never put forward in writing. It is expected that a similar figure will remain the market value today.

Which is slightly steep for a local town council that has just had a significant funding cut from the paymasters of CBC. The plan is to approach the Municipal Loan Board, and then rent out the properties to service the loan.

We finished off with My Mayor updating on the #hyperlocal political process:

“We have four new councillors, and four retiring councillors - which leaves us two short of our quota. I would have LOVED for this to have gone to election - it would have done WTC a world of good.”

I still reckon mud wrestling is the way to go, Comrades.

See ya next month…

Wivsoc - Disclaimer: I am a member of the Wivenhoe Society, although not a committee member. All views expressed within this blog post are mine alone, and not that of the committee, or the Society in general.

To the Town Council Office on Monday evening for the final meeting of Wivenhoe Town Council - nope, we’re not about to surrender citizenship to the impending city status of Colchester - there’s some serious spunk inside the folk of Wivenhoe, and then some, Comrades…

But with the ballot box looming (or not…) then this was the final farewell for the current administration. It was to be a meeting where the words “emotional“, “cowslips” and “bottoms” would all appear in the official minutes.

Blimey.

Chomping at the bit and ready for the off (and the electoral door knocking) was LibDem Councillor Cory, representing the folk of Wivenhoe Cross at Colchester Borough Council. The good councillor had very kindly given up his evening of ear bending to update WTC with recent #hyperlocal matters around his patch.

“Dog fouling behind Chainee Road has been a problem. Wivenhoe Town Council helped to re-surface this recently. Sadly some dog walkers are not so respectful.”

Rather than finger point, I rather like Cllr Cory’s approach in accentuating the positives here:

“The solution has been to approach the nearby Broomgrove School and ask if the children would like to help to make No Dog Fouling signs to put up.”

Did someone say B-b-b-b-b-big society?

Blimey.

Alternatively I feel duty bound to remind you that the charming Pet Shop Girls down at Wivenhoe Pets supply dog poop bags.

Other Cross issues from Cllr Cory included drainage problems around Broomgrove (sorted) potholes (reported) and the possibility of introducing streetlights at the Elmstead Road / Brightlingsea Road junction by the football club.

A cheeky grin and a smile towards the top table, and then the good councillor reminded WTC that he was up for re-election, and he hoped to continue the pothole and dog pooh conversation next month.

Safety in numbers, etc and so next up it was fellow LibDem colleague Councillor Manning, also of the Cross, also providing an update.

“I’ll keep this very short - I have been making sure that residents in my ward have enough black bin liners.”

Bravo.

One would hope that there is a little more meat on the bone, so to speak, in some of the election literature heading our way over the coming weeks

Peter Kay, the Public Transport Representative, then filed his report. There is the possibility of the 61 and 62 bus timetable changing in the afternoons from September through until the end of winter. This is to take into account increased public transport use during this period.

Speeding through the agenda faster than a juggernaut down Valley Road (steady) and next we were on to Planning. The lease issue continues to dominate the ongoing Cook’s Shipyard business. Progress is slow.

Something slightly more positive however when it comes to the much delayed new Health Centre for Wivenhoe. Mr Mayor updated WTC that he has held a meeting with the PCT this week, amid growing concerns that national government NHS policy changes may have a serious impact on the future of health provision in Wivenhoe - all in a non-party political sense, of course.

The outcome is something extremely positive:

“We are gathering momentum over this issue. After much delay over this project, we are hopeful of having a definitive answer in May. All is not lost and it even looks rather positive.”

That’s something to tell the electorate on the doorstep, and with immaculate timing, it was back to the day job, and back to the door knocking from our good LibDem Councillor friends.

Um, good luck with that one, fellas.

The Personnel Committee confirmed that Ray, Wivenhoe’s Litter Picker Supreme, has now formally retired. A much-deserved formal presentation will take place at the Annual Town Meeting next month.

Meanwhile, we have a replacement in James, who has already been busy going about his business. Mr Mayor is extremely happy with the appointment, and encouraged that we weren’t short on applicants for the post.

A lengthy debate then followed all about the Best Value Committee. This *isn’t* about umm-ing and ahh-ing over the price of a Pot Noodle at the Co-op, but as the name suggests, how WTC can make the most of the little dosh that comes our way.

As ever, I became slightly lost in the finer detail. The allocation of Section 106 funding was at the core, and with perfect time, Colchester Borough Council is about to introduce some training in how to understand 106 arrangements.

Sign me up now, Comrades.

But back to the finer mechanics of Best Value. The discussion continued, with great debate about definitions within the WTC constitution. Words such as “emotion” were erased, and “code of conduct” inserted instead. There was even an on the record “bloody hell!” moment, but one wouldn’t expect to see this appear within the WTC letter of the law.

You say tomatoe, I say tomato, etc. Actually, I say can we move on please?

Bloody hell, etc.

Never one to stick to the formalities of the agenda (and hurrah for that,) and a fashionably late appearance from the good Councillor Steve Ford, Labour’s representative in the Quay ward, then lit up the Council chamber.

Councillor Ford played it cool, not wanting to talk about potholes and dog pooh, but simply taking the time out from the election stump to thank and praise the work of the retiring Wivenhoe Town Concillors.

Some very honest and humble words were spoken about Councillors Iacovou, Fox and Liddy, the latter of which is stepping down from UNPAID civic service after sixteen years in the chamber.

Sweet. Now back to yer #workingforwivenhoe, Comrade.

Working Party Reports then followed. Any party that involves work is usually one that I would give a wide berth - a bit like the Wivenhoe Community Mini Bus, which has been experiencing a few navigational malfunctions with some drivers. Rest easy, Comrades - the verges causing the minor traffic woes have now been trimmed.

Speaking of minor gardening mishaps, Mr Mayor reported that an official complaint has been received by a resident about the premature cutting of the cowslips in the cemetery, before they had the chance to bloom. You may smirk, my friends, but such issues have been known to bring down governments.

The Wivenhoe Wood Working Party (or www.p for the cool kids by the Co-op) extended an open invite for any local folk who want to find out what the WTC group with the BEST name actually gets up to. There is an Open Day on 15th May, meeting by the picnic benches in the wood.

www.p <3 lol, as we like to say wit da yoof.

Speaking of which, the Youth Facilities Working Party perhaps provided the most controversial moment of the meeting. It is a sign of the economic times when WTC is considering future funding arrangements for the ACE Hub down at the Philip Road Centre.

No need to run for office on a Yoof ticket just yet - simply that WTC would like to see the balance books of the group, ahead of awarding a further £1,000 annual contribution to help support the Hub.

It makes economic, if not social sense. The overall aim of the Hub is to be self-sufficient. The initial grant was just that - a means to an end. It now seems that the end may be closer than was first thought. One to watch for the budget review in the autumn…

Members’ Individual Reports included a humble, honest and glowing tribute from Mr Mayor towards the three councillors that are stepping down. Mr Mayor also updated the meeting with his civic engagements over the last month - EIGHT events have been attended by the nice man with the bling. That’s an awful lot of Mr Sheen to account for in the town budget.

I believe the children are our future, treat them well and let them lead the way, etc… Mr Mayor highlighted the recent Colne Fusion concert at the Congregational Hall, the Youth Council visit to the chamber and a visit to the nature garden at Broomgrove as his personal best bits from the past month.

Community Safety and Police Matters (replacing the old Neighborhood Watch Scheme) offered feedback on the recent move of our local police team to the fire station. There is slight concern about contact details. A mobile number is available (07966 197245) as well as a non-emergency contact line on 0300 333 4444. WTC resolved to help publicise these more.

As for the recent NAP meeting? I refer my honourable colleagues to the blog post blah blah blah…

The good Town Clerk reported on the town council business of one burial grant being approved, the second grass cutting in the cemetery (watch out for those cowslips - whoops) and the brilliant news that the bumblebee springer in the KGV has been given a new head.

Blimey.

“Caution needs to be exercised” when it comes to Finance. There is a “substantial surplus” in the WTC coffers, with a recommendation to re-assess the budgets that were cut at the start of the financial year. £3,000 will soon be needed for urgent chapel repairs; a matching figure is being put aside as an emergency legal fighting fund. Presumably the two aren’t linked.

Letters of Correspondence to WTC included a rather sad update that the Wivenhoe Youth Theatre has been wound up. After sixteen years of working with young folk around the town, recruitment has become something of a problem.

It’s not that Wivenhoe is short on young theatrical talent - witness the booming ADP Theatre, and the fine talent on show in the Pantomime - it is simply that many other local groups now offer a similar service.

Mr Mayor personally pledged to write a letter of thanks to those involved in keeping the Youth Theatre running, and congratulating them on what has been achieved within the town.

A notice of the Annual Town Meeting was formally read out. Wednesday 11th May in the Loveless Hall is THE social event of the year. Or something. It certainly is for Mr Mayor, who came as close as is constitutionally possible in asking for a cross party whip. Shirt and ties would be nice as well.

Highways confirmed that the 20mph speed limit for lower Wivenhoe would be formally adopted by Essex County Council on 25th July. A new bus shelter is now in place outside Cedric’s. Civic pride was taken in announcing that it can “accommodate four bottoms.” That all depends on the size of bottom, surely…

Never mind the length, feel the thickness.

Which in a round about way brings us back to the final meeting of this administration. WTC is a few sandwiches short of a picnic hamper - only eleven names have stepped forward for civic duty, leaving two co-opted vacancies.

The role of a Town Councillor is unpaid, but you do get to enjoy the civic bowl of sweets that is passed around the chamber once a month.

Humbug!

The thing about being a Transition Town is that you are always… in transition. So much to organise, so many ideas to spread, so much optimism. And so another month, and another (brief) pause to take in all the wonderful activities and initiatives that Transition Town Wivenhoe is putting into place:

“16th April, Farmer’s Market, Congregational Hall, 9 - 12. Great range of stalls selling local produce. The TTW stall will be offering seeds for swapping or donations.”

I’m a little shy on the photo sharing front for now, but yeah - the seeds that @AnnaJCowen and I picked up at the Farmer’s Market last month are starting to bear fruit. Not literally, but y’know…

A bit more from TTW’s very decent Bob:

Keeping with the faun and flora theme:

“Station gardening on Sundays has shifted to 3pm; bring a mug for some Kelly Kettle tea and hand tools / gloves if you have them, meet at the Station Master’s House community garden, to the left of the ticket office. More info via email.”

And after hard afternoon’s graft in the Station Master’s Garden, what you need is the relaxation of a film, something to fill your pint glass with and some fine social company.

Hang on…

“17th April - in partnership with Moving Image and The Station Pub, we’re wheeling out our Pedal Powered Cinema once again, this time to screen Pixar’s animated super-hero blockbuster The Incredibles in the Station Pub car park at 8pm.”

Another ace idea from TTW - more bloggage over here.

On a more wider economic and sustainable level (steady) TTW are offering guidance on setting up social enterprises. There is crossover here with the fine work that Wivenhoe based @asset_transfer is already undertaking, as well as the many projects currently being put in place by creativecoop over in Colchester:

“Want to learn about setting up social enterprises? Community Enterprise training will be delivered by Roger Saunders of Choosing Change, Saturday 18th June in Wivenhoe 10am to 4pm. This course will be free.”

But it’s not all about ploughing the fields and scattering; sometimes you just want to cut to the chase and cut to the booze:

“25th April Transition Drinks from 8pm at The Station. All welcome for informal chattering and socialising.”

And finally, what of the May Fair?

“May Fair Recyclers needed! Bob of the Wivenhoe May Fair Green Police Team writes: We need volunteers to spend an hour or so on the field on Monday May 30th or on Tuesday morning, helping to keep and leave the field tidy and promote recycling and waste reduction. It’s not hard work and a lot of fun, and helps to keep the May Fair running smoothly.”

Volunteers will receive a token of thanks - usually a voucher for a drink at the bar - and some of the food stalls on the day have agreed to give discounts to helpers too. More info / offers of help via email.”

Plus: May 4th @Uni_of_Essex will be having a Green Fair on campus from 10am to 2pm.

Always on the move…

A creak of the old letterbox, a scared (and crazed) cat runs for cover and whaddya know - it’s only the latest copy of the esteemed Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Blimey.

As I’m now an adopted son of *shhh* Brightlingsea, then I feel that I ought to bang on about all the fine news stories that the good Scoop Scarpenter has been seeking out concerning our friends at the other end of the B1207.

But bugger to that. An evening with WTC was sufficient for the finer detail this week. Apologies to m’Brightlingsea bro’s and sisters - I’m skipping straight to the heart of the matter and making the most of the Wivenhoe half of Scoop’s news patch.

Which in reality means thumbing through to p.7 and The Hub - a Welcoming Venue for Young People:

“An awareness evening was held recently at the Hub, formally the Wivenhoe Youth Centre, highlighting the diverse amenities available at this venue for young people.”

Hurrah!

“Amenities at the centre include a coffee bar, floodlit basketball and football, pool, darts, DJ mixing desk, air hockey, 32 inch TV screen and two laptops.”

The Hub is indeed a major success story for Wivenhoe. Any volunteers would be warmly welcomed…

You wait for one Wivenhoe story in the Chronicle, and then just as an extra slice of birthday cake settles you down in the rocking chair (seriously) for the afternoon, along come two on the same page.

p.7 continues with: Town Meets Gown:

“The Mayor and Mayoress of Wivenhoe, Brian and Jan Sinclair, accompanied by Dilly Meyer, International Academy Skills Centre Manager at the University of Essex, welcomed 30 students and 40 local residents to a social evening at the William Loveless Hall [where else...]“

My Mayor has done a great deal for the Town and Gown delicate balancing act during his period of civic service. He somehow pulled off the rather remarkable negotiating skills of giving a stern telling off to the Estate Manager regarding the Knowledge Gateway road closure farce, yet still managed to end up passing on the goodwill of the town towards the University..

Similarly in persuading the ‘youthful high spirits’ of some students out on the Wivenhoe Run to apologise to local publicans and residents, before welcoming them back into Wivenhoe for more booze.

Blimey.

Councillor Steve Ford writes on p.10 more about the 20mph Zones in Wivenhoe:

“The majority of people in Wivenhoe know that a 20mph speed zone is going to be introduced in the area below the railway bridge. What many people do not know is that Colchester Borough Council has agreed, in principle, to look at the introduction of 20mph zones in all residential areas.”

Tellingly, the Cllr concluded by adding:

“Extensive consultation and engagement with the community of Colchester needs time and some monies, which in this present economic climate, is not yet available.”

Here’s hoping that when the wonga is finally freed up, whatever administration is currently sitting at the Town Hall won’t forget to carry out the consultation.

There’s little argument against 20′s plenty (although a guarded effort was attempted to derail it at Monday’s WTC meeting.) It makes sense in lower Wivenhoe, with only Station Road being a possible problem area to enforce.

A brief mention of the AGM of the Workers Education Association on 4th April at the Methodist Hall, as well as a heads up for WivSoc’s riverbank clean up at 10am on the 10th then follows.

And then we’re into the Wivenhoe arty territory, which holds far more editorial entertainment. Helen Chambers‘ review of Jack and the Beanstalk is bang on the money, when stating:

“Brian Ford’s script was very witty and clever, and I admired Matt Linley’s direction. Sarah Rout, as Silly Billy, gave a flawless performance. Hazel Humphreys (Jack) has stand-up comedy credentials.”

Talking of seamless comedy timing: Wivenhoe’s Very Own Comedy Club adds on p.13:

“Wil Hodgson will be performing at Wivenhoe’s very own comedy club, the Funny Farm. The club night will be held on 31st March at the Cricket Club.”

Oklahoma! gets a brief plug, as does the Colne Community College Choir’s concert at the Congregational Hall on the 2nd April. Local artist Annie Bielecka exhibition at the Red Lion Bookshop in Colchester also gets a mention.

Which all leaves us with the snappy Chronicle headline on p.15 of: New Facial Aesthetics Centre is Officially Opened by Town’s Mayor.

Cripes.

“A new local business, the Wivenhoe Faceplace, was officially opened by the Mayor of Wivenhoe. The new venture is a facial aesthetics centre, specialising in rejuvenating anti-wrinkle injections, dermal fillers, lip enhancements and tooth whitening.”

I couldn’t possibly comment on the potential for customers within Wivenhoe. I can pass comment however on Mr Mayor’s fine stance in supporting the business. As explained to WTC on Monday evening:

“Faceplace very kindly donated a £200 voucher for the Mayor’s Charity Auction. I am happy to support any business that helps to raise money locally.”

Hear, hear.

Must dash - time to moisturise.

The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is distributed free amongst local households. Additional copies are 25p from local newsagents.

To the Congregational Hall on Saturday morning to refresh the mind and body with the goodness of the earth. You can tell I’ve been reading far too much Ben Goldacre of late, can’t you?

But there was no bad science to my logic of lapping up the local fruit ‘n veg. A late, late finish with the lovely @HiddenDingbat’s the night / morning previous, and my eyelids were telling me that organic, rather than alcoholic, was the order of the day.

This was the first spring Farmer’s market for @AnnaJCowen and I since the Great Escape. With enough blue in the sky to make a sailor a pair of underpants (steady,) we skipped down the High Street with an extra kick in our step.

That will be the double JD and coke before breakfast kicking in then.

There is something really rather special about the Wivenhoe Farmer’s Market come this time of the year. The stalls start to slowly, slowly head to the great outdoors (um, the Congregational Hall car park) and the event becomes even more social.

We started off with a decent chat with a herbs chap, who also supplied us with a rhubarb plant that is now taking up the prime growing location in the back garden. With rhubarb being the Celery of the Gods, we’ve high hopes for some crumble over the coming month.

Our herb man then set about the task of sourcing us something a little more exotic. No need to call in the crime squad - we’re simply after a local lemon tree that can make the most of those glorious Wivenhoe rays.

Inside the Congregational Hall and Tony’s Fish was all the fancy for the early morning trade. Fished in local waters, we came close to treating that special little girl in our life with a wet haddock across her little inquisitive nose.

A bit of basic fruit and veg shopping filled the bags, and then we were back outside for a catch up with the ace Transition Town Wivenhoe folk. Promoting sustainability within the town is what it is all about for TTW. For the Farmer’s Market and the group has come up with the great idea of a local seed swap.

I was also fascinated with the Wivenhoe Food Map of free fruit and nuts. Locals are encouraged to pinpoint sources of free food, such as blackberries, rosehips and various nuts. It was a shame to see a now empty and barren stretch heading out towards Alresford Creek.

Many thanks, as ever, to the charming Bob for taking the time to explain and update recent TTW activities.

The shift outdoors continues with TTW over the coming months. The regular Sunday gardening sessions outside the Station Master’s House have commenced once again. Volunteers are of course always welcome.

And so another month, another bumper crop. The next Wivenhoe Farmer’s Market takes place on Saturday 16th April - the fifth anniversary of the event within Wivenhoe. To rent a stall call 01206 367776. For further info or to volunteer help, call 01206 826226.

With the Transition Town network rapidly growing throughout the UK (I hear St Reatham is being rolled out next - blimey…) it is with apt timing that the fine folk of Transition Town Wivenhoe update us with news of their many varied and sustainable activities around the town.

The Transition ethos of changing your little local part of the world, rather than the bigger picture of the planet, is evident once again with a well though out schedule of events for Wivenhoe:

“Broomgrove School need help with their garden on Friday 18th March, any time you can spare between 9am-3pm. We plan to dig up some established tree trunks, old plants and create willow arches and bamboo fences in our sensory garden. The more the merrier!”

Many hands make light work - an email over here should be sufficient to register an interest in helping out.

With spring finally saying hello around the estuary wilds, the monthly Wivenhoe Farmer’s Market gets to head outdoors by the Congregational Hall once again. A venture out on Saturday morning between 9-12, and you may even bump into these delightful ladies.

Plus TTW will also have a presence:

“This Saturday 19th March, 9-12 Farmers Market. TTW stall includes seed swapping - bring your seeds (not too old please!) to get swapsies. If you don’t have any seeds, just make a donation.”

But as ever, it’s all about the bike…

“Want to learn about bike generators - what they can be used for or how to build your own? There will be two workshops in Wivenhoe on Saturday afternoons 2nd and 9th April. To register interest, please email [email protected]

“Interested in car sharing or want to help get a TTW cargo bikes scheme going? Interested in sustainable transport initiatives? Please get in touch and we’ll organise a get together.”

Anyone wanting to make their home more energy efficient in Wivenhoe may want to take up the very kind offer of a free home energy assessment:

“TTW Energy Assessors have started carrying out free home energy assessments, book yours by emailing [email protected] or calling Bob on 07507 841158.”

Anything um, Brixton (blimey!) can do, Wivenhoe can hopefully do even better:

“TTW wants to plan an ‘unleashing’ event / party, any helpers welcome, first meeting Tuesday 5th April, 7.30pm. Please get in touch if you are interested. Just to get your creative juices flowing, here’s how Norwich and Brixton did theirs…”

The Broad Lane Future project may have gone rather quiet since the New Year, but TTW’s part of the grand project at least seems to be bearing some fruition:

“Wivenhoe Town Football Club are starting some temporary allotments in large builders bags and may need help to set things up. No date for action days yet, but please let us know if you are interested to help and we’ll keep you posted.”

And keeping it #hyperlocal (ish) - our nearby neighbours are starting to get a feel of the benefits of setting up a Transition Town:

“Welcome to Transition Chelmsford, recently started; and here’s a link to Transition Colchester“

And finally…

It’s not all about acting under the banner of TTW. What I very much like about this group is the willingness to help other organisations out around the town. As well as the ace Halloween event down at the Quay, and a considerable presence in helping out at the May Fair, TTW is also offering support for the spring riverbank clean up being organised by the Wivenhoe Society.

The 10th April at 10am is the date for your diary, meeting outside The Station for a morning of making the Colne an even pleasanter part of the world in which to live.

Not a bad little morning at the monthly Wivenhoe Farmer’s Market. The estuary rain may have persisted, but then so did the punters. Without the rain then there would be no leeks; and without the leeks then my world would be a duller place.

So yeah, all wellied up as the top of the High Street became something of a steady torrent, and then across the road to the Congregational Hall. It was great to catch up with the familiar traders, as well as some new faces for this month.

Baking spuds, carrots, onions and *swoon* leeks, all for under £4. And then a couple of bags of Braeburns, and still change from a tenner to investigate the stall from the chap selling chutney.

Splendid.

There is very little advertising that takes place for the Wivenhoe Farmer’s Market. Somehow it just seems to happen on the third Saturday morning of each month. Like most friendly trading places within the town, it’s also becoming something of a social hub.

Sadly other weekend commitments elsewhere made this a flying Farmer’s Market visit for me this month. I did pick up a wonderful piece of local gossip though. It was all about…

Oh, hang on - the leeks are frying and my appetite is even more insatiable than my thirst for gossip. Until next month, farmer boys and girls…

Any local traders wanting to rent a stall at the Wivenhoe Farmer’s Market each month can call 01206 367776.