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Rumours of the demise of the esteemed organ of truth and justice that is The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle are as premature as rumours of the demise of my king size courgette.

Sure, it took a bit of a battering the other day (courgette, not the Chronicle) but both still stand proud and mighty; both equally respected as they are eagerly awaited once a fortnight.

Recent conversations around the town have led to some doubt about the future of The Chronicle. Wivenhoe is built upon rumour and assumptions. If you were to dig a big hole at the foot of Black Buoy Hill, you’d find buried away some of the many myths that have been doing the rounds over the centuries, usually after an afternoon spent boozing away.

Is there a Roman bath along Bath Street? Is Bowie the *shhh* secret headliner for May Fair? Has the Chronicle chronicled local life around these parts for the very last time?

Two out of three ‘aint bad, my lovelies…

And so with a rusty squeak of the old letterbox, and a cheerful smile from Scoop as he wanders off into some magical Wivenhoe kingdom for dreamers and journos: it’s only the May 2011 edition of The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Hurrah!

As is now customary on m’blog, I don’t give a blind man’s buff about those buggers down the road at Brightlingsea. Nice enough folk ‘n all that, but as ever, start yer own b****y hyperlocal blog, Comrades.

And so a turning of the grubby newsprint, and we’re straight in with all the local news and scandal that is fit to print about Wivenhoe. How about starting with The Local Election Results?

Oh Lordy.

Except there wasn’t any seismic change in the local political landscape in the May elections that have just passed. Smiling Councillor Steve Ford continues to smile away down at the Quay, doing his #workingforwivenhoe red flag waving. His Comrade in the Colchester coalition (cripes) – the young man about town Councillor Mark Cory – kept his LibDem seat up at the Cross.

Wivenhoe Town Council meanwhile is left with two spanners short of a full toolbox, with two new Councillors needed for co-option to complete the full quota of thirteen.

Scoop reports:

“At Wivenhoe, Steve Ford, Labour, comfortably retained the town’s Quay ward, securing 1,279 votes, more than double that of his nearest rival, the Conservative candidate Mercedes Mussard [ACE name.]

Waving the simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play, Scoop adds:

“It was an exceptionally good achievement by this particularly active Labour candidate, once described by the Deputy Prime Minister Harriet Harman during one of her visits as being one of the hardest working local councillors in the region.”

Hear, hear (to the hardest working, and not in praise of the fragrant Hattie. Phew.)

But don’t just look at little Wivenhoe; nope – move up the map and towards the bigger picture of the Cross. The Chronicle reports:

“Across much of the country there were dismal results for the Liberal Democrats, but in the Wivenhoe Cross ward, Mark Cory, the young 23 year old candidate [easy, ladies] helped to stem the tide against his party, retaining the seat with the support of 673 votes.”

It of course helped the cause of the “young” Cllr Cory (what is this – a Grace Brothers sitcom?) that the #workingforwivenhoe red flag flying comrades pretty much deserted the locals during the campaign, concentrating on the campus instead.

Whoops.

To complete the local political picture, the Chronicle lead concludes:

“There was no election for places on Wivenhoe Town Council as only ten candidates stood for the thirteen available seats.”

It was actually eleven candidates, but then that simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play probably got lost down a back seat at The Greyhound.

Passing over all the Brightlingsea puff, and then on p.2 we come across:

Art and Poetry in the Trenches.

Walk it like you talk it, Comrades:

“A one day course entitled Art and Poetry in the Trenches, presented by Graham Slimming and Colin Padgett, will be run by the WEA in Wivenhoe next month. This course will be held on 11th June at the Congregational Hall, from 10:30am to 4pm.”

Janice Allen on 824470 secures you a booking.

My eyes were momentarily fixed upon the big blueness that is the advert for Brightlingsea Open Air Swimming Pool as the p.3 pin up. I am historically a man suited to an outdoor aquatic lifestyle. Fifteen summers have been spent swimming in unheated lidos.

I spent one spring afternoon walking past the Brightlingsea Open-Air Pool / oversized duck pond, and thought, nah – that’s no pool, my friends: that’s a large hole in the ground with a bit of a drainage situation.

There’s Plenty of Entertainment at the May Fair [*cough* Bowie] is the p.4 headline. It’s pretty much a run through of the May Fair Committee press release, covering the fact that a rather ace line up including Ady Johnson (see) local lad Lou Terry (MUST see) Cav OK (pals) and Housework (hardest working band in, um, Sunny Colch) will all be helping you to get tired and emotional at the KGV, come Bank Holiday Monday.

Pages 10 and 11 cover a couple of lovely, lovely local stories, which although haven’t been picked up the nationals, they certainly represent the charm and quality in which the Chronicle is so respected for locally.

Hearing Dogs for Deaf People… is all about the Hearing Day Centre which runs a weekly hearing clinic at the lovely Wivenhoe Eyecare. The target of £5,000 has just been reached to help sponsor a hearing dog:

“The centre has been raising funds over several years for Hearing Dogs for Deaf People, through donations from its clients, and larger events such as golf days.”

Meanwhile, Deans’ Nursery and Garden Centre Celebrates Fifty Years of Trading pretty much Tells It Like It Is in the headline for a story with a very proud local Wivenhoe history:

“In the late 1950s two young brothers, having just completed a horticultural course at the Writtle Agricultural College near Chelmsford, started to grow outdoor tomatoes in Wivenhoe. The brothers, Anthony and Steve Dean, son of the Wivenhoe GP, the late Dr William Dean, ran this modest enterprise behind the old cemetery just off Belle View Road.”

The business is now based on the Harwich Road at Great Bromley. It is managed by Sarah Dean, the granddaughter of Dr Dean. It may be a puff piece of advertorial, but it’s a lovely read in The Chronicle, rightfully celebrating half a century of trading from a local business.

An Afternoon Upstairs with Martin Newell on p.12 once again tells you all you need to know. With locally baked cakes being promised upstairs at The Greyhound on the afternoon of 11th June, tickets are selling like… hot cakes. Seriously – get yourself down to the Bookshop for a £4 bargain.

Wivenhoe’s Funny Farm for this Thursday (26th) gets a plug on p.15.

“Headliner is the outrageous Californian comic Scott Capurro, familiar to watchers of 8 out of 10 cats. MC will be Wivenhoe’s very own [and most splendid] Hazel Humphreys. The show starts at the Cricket Club at 8pm with £6 on the door.”

And finally…

Mrs. Ackroyd at the Wivenhoe Folk Club.

Cripes.

“On 2nd June, Wivenhoe Folk Club are hosting Mrs. Ackroyd as their main guests. Mrs. Ackroyd is a band, not a person.”

Blimey.

It is this type of bonkers news in brief that separates the wheat from the chaff, and also separates the exceedingly splendid Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle from some of the crap that gets pushed our way via the nationals.

The Chronicle may be in rude health, but that’s a fine position in which to preach from.

The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is distributed free amongst local households. Additional copies are 25p from local newsagents.

And so having cycled to Brightlingsea and back at breakneck speed last weekend, I thought for my birthday I would commence the great Tendring Coastal Exploration that lies ahead for this summer. A sedate estuary walk out towards Brightlingsea would be a good start.

Back in South London and a good Sunday afternoon out meant walking to The Oval tube, rather than catching the bus. But when in Wivenhoe, then you have to do things slightly differently (although a bus did ultimately feature in the travel itinerary of @AnnaJCowen and I.)

Starting off from Wivenhoe Quay, we walked the familiar route out towards Alresford Creek. Today wasn’t a day for grumbling, but on the great Colne Clearance debate and I note that the roots of the vandalised rosehips, blackberries and sloes are slowly starting to emerge into the spring estuary air once again.

High tide around 11am was indeed something rather special. I overlooked the jollity of my walking companion who tried to high tide me with a hand slap – seriously. I smiled politely at any passing dog walker.

We reached the Creek and then did a slight detour out towards Thorrington Tidal Mill. I know that the Pop Genius of this Parish eulogises about the historic building in the wonderful A Prospect of Wivenhoe. Beautiful though the location may be, the constant rumbling of car traffic heading back and forth to Brightlingsea slightly spoils the scenic ambience.

No worries – with Brightlingsea Church within out sites (lovely daffs by the way) we ambled on towards the estuary. You may think that walking from The Flag down to the Quay back at base is something of a struggle. The Wivenhoe Run is a mere leg stretcher however when compared to the sheer length of the approach into Brightlingsea town centre.

A brisk exploration of the Lido (mmm – not quite the beauty of Brockwell, but any outdoor swim is a good swim,) a stroll along the front and then a Sunday birthday lunch of fish ‘n chips along the sea front.

The trip was planned to perfection with time for a couple of pints at the Station Tavern, ahead of the 16:18 back into Wivenhoe.

The old boozer in Brightlingsea makes The Station in Wivenhoe appear more like the inner interior of The Ritz. The pub has character all right, along with damn decent beer. It is to my great regret that I overlooked a pint of Crab ‘n Winkle mild to set me up for the birthday celebrations ahead.

We were back in Wivenhoe in time for the second half of the football, and back to reflect that although Brightlingsea may be a near neighbour, I think that we may the right decision in deciding to make a home of Wivenhoe.

The summer months promise similar Tendring Peninsula explorations. The plan is to cycle out towards Clacton, Frinton and Walton etc (oh to live the high life) and then catch the train back to Wivenhoe.

But that’s for another day.

Or even another birthday.

Full flickr stream over here.

And so fifteen summers of outdoor swimming in South London came to a close for me early on Sunday morning as I bid an emotional farewell to @BrockwellLido. A final creak of the iconic turnstiles, and I exited the cool waters of Lake Brockwell for probably the last time. I didn’t get this tearful after buggering off from Brixton Rec.

The @BrockwellLido close of season coincides this summer with the arrival of the Great Escape. With the lido shutters now pulled firmly shut, the bag packing can start in earnest as I seek to find a new outdoor swimming experience somewhere deep within the wilds of North Essex.

When @AnnaJCowen and I sat down some eighteen months ago to compile a list of Reasons to Stay in London, my plus column consisted of a solitary entry: Brockwell Lido. Cricket almost got a look in, as did track cycling at Herne Hill. Replacing cricket is relative; I’m too crocked now to compete seriously at le velo.

It was the absolute love of @BrockwellLido that *almost* kept me in South London. You can’t survive on the last of the summer wine forever, and a lido lifestyle can be a miserable ball and chain to be shackled with during those dark winter months.

But how to say goodbye to an activity that has been at the centre of my South London #hyperlocal universe for the past fifteen summers?

My love affair with the lido started almost as soon as we first moved into South London during the summer of ’95. I kept on hearing about this mythical outdoor pool during my first few weeks in Brixton. A weekend run around Brockwell Park led me to the formal introduction. We’ve had an intimate relationship ever since.

The start of May until the end of September have been put aside for the past fifteen years as Lido Days. It is an addiction that means my working day is not complete unless I have indulged. Breaking the Brockwell habit is going to come at a high cost.

The attraction is mainly physical, partly emotional. I embrace the freshness of the water washing over me each morning in an almost ritualistic manner, providing clarity and perspective for the working day ahead.

The lido has become my thinking place in South London. Most of my major life decisions have been made here in an environment where I am truly clear of any outside distraction or influence. Ironically, the decision to leave South London was made whilst under the cool waters of Lake Brockwell.

Starting your morning with a gentile introduction, albeit a rather physically brutal and mentally bruising experience, leaves you with positive thoughts that remain throughout the day. Colleagues have long since stopped asking me why I am grinning insanely at 9am.

Catching the dancing rays of the sun as they reflect down on to the pool basin is better than any sterile, soulless Brixton Rec indoor swimming experience. Seeing a flock of geese provide you with a personal flyover is an added bonus.

The lido is MY lido. This is a claim that every other lido swimmer would also no doubt make. It can also be yours if you choose it to be. The experience and routine of the daily dip becomes a highly personalised one. You are in complete control of your own immediate environment. No one can touch you [um, not quite true] and anything is achievable.

I feel that I know every physical feature of the pool, from where the uneven white edges around the perimeter start to crack, down to the gradual tethering of the shallow end and the exact spot where you need to raise your knees to prevent grazing on the pool basin.

I can judge with my eyes closed (and usually they are) the precise point where my feet need to make contact as I push off from the deep end as I turn around to do it all again. I swim blind – not in the literal sense, although the pool is home to a number of sight-impaired swimmers.

I have seen many weird and wonderful sights down by the waters of Lake Brockwell over the years. The bonkers underwater hoover, the official Hold Yer Breath Underwater National Championships, and even having to share my lido experience with some model submarines that tried to dive bomb me in the deep end. That’s not something you see every day down at Brixton Rec.

But perhaps the weirdest experience is that of my fellow lido swimmers. All lovely, all totally bonkers. It is the defining feature of someone who chooses to swim outdoors in a water temperature that your body wants to resist, but your mind wants you to indulge in.

My favourite lido moments are the extremes – falling asleep in the suntrap terrace on a South London scorcher of an afternoon, or swimming in the rain mid-September and being the single custodian of the waters of Lake Brockwell. The mid-winter Brockwell Icicles experience takes this crazed approach to aquatic hedonism a stage further.

The building itself may change, but the ambience remains. I was alarmed over the architectural vandalism that the winter 2006 re-build by Fusion proposed. The demolition of an art deco wall, and then replacing it with a full on body pump style gym, could have killed off Brockwell Lido for me.

Somehow the smoke and mirrors trick has managed to hide away the dirty business of the gym bunnies. What goes on behind that wall we don’t talk about, but at least it brings in the money for Fusion, and guarantees a future for the lido.

Remarkably the unique lido ambience is still more or less in place after the most significant building works in the pool’s seventy-year history. This is a place of community, a place to meet people and a place to escape the nearby madness of the city.

It is this companionship that I treasure the most. Seeing fellow swimmers for the first time in the season is always a diary date to look forward to. Saying farewell at the end of September only reminds you of the winter misery months to come. I confess to slipping out quietly on Sunday, not wanting to cause a scene, not wanting to blubber on my final Brockwell Lido day.

And so where to now? Nearby Colchester has the new Garrison pool (fitness swimming) and Leisure World (wave machine hell.) I’m hoping to continue the outdoor aquatic lifestyle, by finding my own personal space downstream in the Colne estuary.

Perhaps this will be the biggest personal legacy that @BrockwellLido leaves upon me. Outdoor swimming is the purest form in which to participate. But to participate effectively, you need companionship. The unique collision of an art deco building in South London with a collective of crazed outdoor aquatic types, is going to be simply irreplaceable.

I regret that I am not going to be around for the BLU AGM next month. It is a social highlight of the lido season, and provides me with my annual opportunity to ask why I should have to pay twice to swim in pools owned by @lambeth_council. Fifteen years of swimming, and I still haven’t heard a satisfactory answer.

But anyway: come on in – the water’s… Brrrrr.

Something slightly different for my daily swim on Saturday morning. With fifteen summers of love for all things @BrockwellLido washed away in a single season through corporate incompetence from Fusion, I kept on cycling through Brixton, up towards Streatham and then a swing to the right for Tooting Bec Lido

Blimey.

I use to be a late season regular at Tooting back in the day. Once @BrockwellLido had pulled the shutters down after the August Bank Holiday, Tooting was my outdoor pool of choice through until the early autumn.

But with the bonkers 10am weekend opening time @BrockwellLido, I was buggered if I was to waste away half of my Saturday morning waiting for more misery from Fusion and it’s corporate incompetence.

Tooting was open for business at 6am. Brilliant. The obvious knock on effect of this is that the hour-long queues experienced back at Brockwell are banished from SW16.

The backlog of hot and bothered swimmers snaking all the way round to @thelidocafe is never really cleared throughout the day at Brockwell. Tooting however doesn’t allow for a queue to even start forming, with an early start to encourage a smooth flow of swimmers.

This ease of access was also carried over to the glorious 90-yard pool. The 10am dip at Brockwell is manic, as the not-so-early birds are all competing for space at the same time. Not so at Tooting, with a staggered approach to swimming.

The sensible £5 entry price at Tooting helps as well. The reception staff at Brockwell can’t seem to deal with the handing over of change, with the rather awkward £5.20 admission price. A chap at Tooting simply had a pile of grubby fivers on hand for anyone with a ten pound note.

I changed in one of the iconic Tooting multi-coloured themed cubicles. As well as adding to the historic atmosphere of the pool, this extra provision also eases the changing room provision that the shoebox changing rooms at Brockwell simply can’t cope with during peak times.

My swim itself was spectacular. I was able to see clearly underwater down a half stretch of the glorious 90-yard pool. Back at Brockwell and a metre visibility has been the best of late.

The base of the Tooting pool was incredibly clean. None of the plasters, crisp packets or unidentifiable floating objects that we have come to expect at Brockwell this season.

I had forgotten how the pool lining at Tooting has a rubber like mat quality. This felt far safer than the grazed and rather dilapidated pool floor at Brockwell, which has had one too many mid-winter breaks without any treatment.

My only criticism of the Tooting swim is the lack of swimming lanes. Much resistance was put up at first amongst the @BrockwellLido community. The lanes do offer guidance however, and provide a system that gives some direction once the pool becomes overcrowded.

I finished my swim, towelled off and then strolled straight inside the Tooting Lido Cafe. Sadly this is something that is not now possible back at Brockwell.

The Lido Restaurant Cafe is out of bounds from the poolside during busy days. You have to physically leave the pool, and then join the non-swimmers from the separate restaurant cafe entrance, all fully clothed and enjoying their private view of the swimmers and sunbathers.

I enjoyed my Tooting swim so much, that I stayed for the next four hours. Back at Brockwell and I usually head straight back to base after my swim. I’ve no reason to stick around – all sense of the lido community has long since been strangled out by the corporate mismanagement by Fusion.

Having paid up front for the season with my Brockwell membership, sadly I can’t justify a Tooting swim every morning as well. I’m already being fleeced twice by @lambeth_council, as a consequence of pimping out pools in the Rotten Borough to two preferred leisure partners.

I hope it is not too late for Fusion to return @BrockwellLido to the lido loving community that still holds a great deal of love for the building, the atmosphere and more importantly, the people.

To achieve this then Fusion has to recognise where the mistakes have been made, and take away the corporate identity and strong arm management that has turned @BrockwellLido into just another outdoor pool.

A trip to Tooting by Fusion staff would help. Here we have a local authority, running and managing a local authority own facility.

Now there’s a co-operative ideal for you.

Oh dear. Here we go again. Just as the second heat wave of mid-summer is set to hit South London over the weekend and whaddya know – @BrockwellLido is bloody CLOSED. Again.

This is turning out to be a major corporate cock up for Fusion down in SE24. It’s a repeat of that familiar theme of “chlorine issues.” I make this the fifth occasion this summer that Fusion has proved to be [steady] unfit for purpose.

The awarding of the twenty-five year lease to pimp out the pool on behalf of @lambeth_council appeared to have safety checks built in. It was crucial that a reliable ‘preferred partner’ was selected to take on the huge social responsibility of managing the stewardship of a much loved community facility within South London.

Those meet ‘n greet the bidders sessions back at the Town Hall during February 2003 contained many false promises made by Fusion. The corporate leisure company took on the lido lease with a commitment to maintain the unique ambience and atmosphere established during the Paddy and Casey @BrockwellLido Golden Years.

The stuffy corporate image has slowly, slowly become all pervasive around the poolside. It manifests itself with the removal of the street art put in place by Paddy and Casey, the appearance of corporate branding, and yes, the physical divide between lido lovers and lido café restaurant diners – a wooden fence has actually appeared of late, keeping the riff raff of swimmers away from the café restaurant.

This is the least of the worries within our lido community – we now just want a bloody pool that is open each morning for our daily swim.

Let us not forget that Casey also pitched in with his proposal to run the lido some seven years ago. Another figure worth remembering is that the lido didn’t suffer a single “chlorine issue” in that run of twelve glorious @BrockwellLido Golden Days.

In a year when shutting swimming pools has been something of a recurring theme around these parts, the five closures (and counting) this summer @BrockwellLido have to be viewed in perspective.

It is the inconvenience that hits you the hardest – dragging your backside to Brockwell Park early morning, only to find that Fusion has messed up once again only spoils the routine and rhythm of your day.

Bloody Brixton Rec it is then…

Refunds have been promised by Fusion for the five days that have been missed so far this summer. I’m still waiting to see any return in my bank account.

And so if it’s not the “chlorine issues” that gets you @BrockwellLido then it’s possibly the break-ins (two so far this summer.)

Failing that then it’s the complete incompetence of Fusion as a corporate company to understand exactly what is required to manage a local facility that quite simply *is* the South London summer for folk around here.

Something is seriously wrong with the corporate management of @BrockwellLido. Fusion is currently three years into a twenty-five year lease to manage the SE24 community facility, after @lambeth_councill washed all responsibility from managing (and financially supporting) the historic art deco pool.

Following a promising start to the Fusion years (helped along by the considerable experience of Brockwell Lido Users) it now seems that the current management team at Brockwell Lido simply isn’t up to the job.

The pool has been closed four times in the past month because of “chlorine related” incidents, as well as suffering two overnight break-ins, the latest of which has been brushed over on the Fusion corporate website.

The “chlorine imbalance” may have been a factor for forcing the pool to close late on Monday evening, but the police cordon and forensic coppers that greeted early morning lido lovers earlier in the day, suggested something slightly more sinister.

At the base of the current problems with @BrockwellLido is the inexperience of the current management team. Former Site Manager, Jeremy Lake, left to join rivals Greenwich Leisure Limited, just before the start of the current season. Paul Maier, the Operations Manager, soon followed this departure.

Both previous employees were exceptional at their job. They combined the necessary business running of the lido with the laid back, meet ‘n greet customer service that such a unique facility requires.

It seems that little handover was left to the current lido management team, leading to the current situation where such basics as keeping the pool operational, are failing with an increased frequency.

In twelve years of the glorious lido Golden Days under the management of the much loved local pairing of Paddy and Casey, the pool didn’t suffer one similar incident. The team of highly experienced lifeguards recruited at the time, boosted not only the safety, but also the ethos that the lido generated.

Staff from this Golden Day period are still around. They love the lido so much that they still swim within the unique pool. This is the type of experience and management of the facility that Fusion can’t ignore not to be tapping into.

With a pool engineer optimistic of a lido re-opening on Wednesday 30th June, only one half of the current crisis that is developing at the lido will have been solved by Fusion. Security is also a pressing matter, and one that the company seems unable to currently control.

A fellow lido lover writes:

“Yet again tonight [Monday] there was a mini-rave in the Lido car park, with 20-30 people dancing to music in their cars. At 10pm, when the gym closes, they were successfully moved from the car park and the gates locked by staff in hi-vis vests.

They congregated outside, shouting and smashing glass. Twenty minutes later, the hi-vis staff let out a large dark car – perhaps a manager? – and its exit onto the road was blocked. Eventually a large police van and two police cars arrived and the dark car was able to get out, but one man was sat on its bonnet, preventing it from driving off further.

He was apprehended by the police and escorted into their van and the driver interviewed. Eventually, most of the people drifted away and the police left, but more than an hour later, at 11.14pm, there is still a small rowdy group at the gate, and I, as is well known, need my beauty sleep.

For the security of the Park and the Lido, it is important that this gate is locked at 10pm weekdays and 9pm weekends. One wants youth to have its fling, but this car park is not the ideal venue for a rave.”

And so assuming that @BrockwellLido can actually be operated by Fusion as a functioning, chlorine safe swimming environment, plus here’s hoping that the current security issues can be resolved by both Fusion and the police, then hopefully we will have our lido back.

Ah, not quite. There is the small matter of the Lido Cafe, which although I totally love and support, as well as offering a very high standard of food for diners, there is the sad feeling amongst the lido users that we are not part of this project.

The Cafe is not accessible for pool users during busy days. You have to physically leave the building, and then enter the separate Lido Cafe entrance. Meanwhile, non-lido users are given access to the best view in South London (pool, swimmers, sunbathers) yet the swimmers and sunbathers have sadly been excluded.

This once again goes against the entire lido ethos that was established during the Golden Days of Brockwell Lido. It doesn’t matter who you are or what your status is – everyone is equal and welcome all around the lido.

Following fifteen summers of swimming in SE24 I was optimistic that my final season was going to go out on a high. It’s still practically impossible to leave the place without a huge grin on your face, but slowly, slowly, the magic of Brockwell Lido seems to be disappearing.

*Tuesday 29th, 10:00 update*

The pool remians closed. The receptionist is telling users that “we are hopeful of being open sometime tomorrow [Wednesday.]”

Very, very poor, Fusion.

Meanwhile, the lido website seems to be explaining the whole situation in terms of a “technical problem,” rather than the police incident that closed the pool on Monday morning:

“A technical problem in the small hours of Monday morning has been cited the cause for closure. We have our pool engineers on site from Tuesday morning at 7am and we will do everything possible to ensure that the pool is back in operation.”

Which is all very strange, seeing as though the place was cordoned off by coppers on Monday morning. The reality is a combination of a break-in and the return on the ongoing chlroine situation. Both incidents are only related in terms of a corporate cock up from Fusion.

*Monday 28th, 19:00 update*

The pool has remained closed all day. The police completed their investigations, but sadly the lido was unable to re-open once again because of a “chemical imbalance.”

*sigh*

If it’s not the chlorine that is closing Brockwell Lido then it is the local idiots who fail to understand the concept of community. It was heartbreaking to cycle to SE24 for the daily dip on Monday morning, only to find a police cordon and a closed lido.

It seems that a break-in took place during the early hours, clearing out the lido reception of cash from the night before. Any form of communication to customers from Fusion has sadly been lacking in recent weeks. It took a bizarre head nodding / shaking game with an off-message lifeguard, to try and work out why our lido was closed for the fourth time this month.

“Is this another chlorine bodge job?”

Head shake.

“Has someone broken in?”

Head nod.

“Has there been a poolside injury?”

Head shake.

“Was theft involved?”

Nod, nod, nod.

It’s not the first time that this has happened – the exact same situation took place only a fortnight ago following another Scorchio South London weekend of al fresco swimming. I hope that lessons were learnt first time round from Fusion, and the takings from the weekend weren’t left overnight on the premises.

The ease of access to the lido during the early hours appears to be down to no formal security in place regarding the car park games. With the Park Rangers closing the park at sunset, a word of mouth agreement is in place with @lambeth_council, allowing Fusion staff to lock the Dulwich Road gate after the gym closes at 10pm.

This only works well if the Fusion staff actually remember to lock the gates, come closing time for the lido gym.

Whoops.

Recent nights have seen a build up in the car park during the early hours, which High Court Judges would no doubt describe as a “rave.” Young folk gather around their cars, play loud music which omits a high frequency of beats per minute and… dance.

The rotters.

But this also leaves the lido highly exposed to abuse. The ornate metallic lido sign long since went missing from the front of the building. Last summer saw the closure of the lido when the early lifeguard opened up, only to find some fool had lobbed glass bottles over the lido wall.

Many lido lovers have been annoyed in recent weeks over the increase in security for pool users. Bag searches are in place, an activity that goes totally against the laid back ethos of lido life. It’s a shame the same level of security isn’t in place to keep away genuine trouble makers from the lido.

With the head nod / shake game over, I mounted the Moulton and pondered yet another morning of misery down at Brixton Rec. Back in SW9 and the morning swim lived up to the low expectations I had placed upon it.

Timing my birthday suit moment to coincide with the weekly swim from the lovely kids in one of the schools I work in didn’t help my cause. The appearance of the legendary Nostril Man – the swimmer who empties the contents of his nose after each length in the same style as a Premier League footballer – only added to my indoor indisposition.

It has got to the stage now where the policy of pimping out public pools to two private contractors is actually starting to pay off for me. With a Fusion lido membership and a GLL Swim London membership for Brixton, at least I’ve got all bases covered when it comes to finding somewhere to swim in Lambeth each morning.

Meanwhile, the lovely lido continues the slow decline of trust between users and management. It is testing the levels of human patience to conjure up any feelings of contempt associated with such an amazing community facility. Fusion’s poor corporate management of the project is sadly pushing many lido lovers to feel frustration towards the future of the facility.