onionbagblog

Halloween, and a young man’s thoughts turn towards the witching hour down at Herne Hill. Events conspired for the fragrant mrs onionbagblogger and I to head south bound to SE24, for an afternoon and evening of freakish fun, in what can often be the forgotten corner of South London.

First up was the inaugural Herne Hill Expo [pdf] The rather fanciful name may be out of character for an area not usually known for its self-promotion. The geographical positioning of being trapped between the borders of Lambeth and Southwark makes Herne Hill something of an ostracised hermit within the local area.

Improving the local environment and putting in place tangible benefits for the community, is often at the whim of the rival political parties that divide and govern Herne Hill. It may not be quite an iron fist, but Lambeth Labour and the LibDems of Southwark don’t make for the best of bedfellows. Caught in the middle of course are the constituents.

The idea behind the Expo is to make a start at transforming this image. At its most crude level, the afternoon was seen as an opportunity for service providers (@lambeth_council) to engage with the electorate on a non-political platform. Good intentions, but how do you entice the locals out into the street for an afternoon of meet ‘n greet with some local politicians?

A visible campaign has built up around Herne Hill over recent weeks, spreading the message of The Expo. At the centre of this message has been the transformation of the Herne Hill tunnel from a dimly lit p*** alley at the side of the railway station, to become a public work of art that stimulates debate and awareness.

A couple of local artists have created a wordscape design, running from one end of the tunnel to the other. This has served as a stimulus for the main event on Saturday afternoon, the Herne Hill Hunt.

Organisers of The Expo identified early on that an activity had to be in place in order to get people to come out and participate. With much of Herne Hill being hidden, the treasure hunt was the perfect vehicle for letting people know that there’s much more to the area than being a political boundary borough.

My Treasure Hunting companion and I approached our Herne Hill afternoon rather late in the day, with the skies already beginning to bruise over SE24. The magnificent sight of a young couple cycling on a tandem, decked out in tweed and with a trail of tin cans and a Just Married sign on their back, convinced us that yep, there is much more to Herne Hill than simply traffic congestion.

We kept with the two wheels theme, and with the aid of an iPhone and a little help from following a young mother and child around on a bike, more or less managed to keep on course with the various checkpoints.

Our lack of Herne Hill knowledge was no hindrance - this was the whole point of the Hunt, to try and learn something new about the area. The clues were clever (’look for a noble emporium‘ - Noble’s newsagents of course,) and in the time frame of just over an hour, we had traversed the triangle taking in Denmark Hill, Herne Hill and Half Moon Lane.

A brief stop off back at Expo HQ to hand in the forms, and then we headed across the Dulwich Road to the lovely @thelidocafe. Much like the Herne Hill Hunt, our timing wasn’t great. Too late for lunch, an hour or so early for the Halloween menu [pdf] put together by chef.

No worries, the Lido Cafe are an accommodating crowd; a delightful chorizo sausage served with fries, plus buttermilk squash ravioli for the lady, all washed down with some red wine and we were ready for stage three of the Herne Hill Halloween experience.

I was tempted to see if I could sneak out around the back the lido cafe for a cheeky, moonlit Halloween dip. But that would just be irresponsible, not to mention bloody freezing.

The final leg of the Herne Hill Halloween experience was le velo for the Muddy Hell cyclocross event. Cycling past Herne Hill station, and en route we noticed that The Expo party was in full swing. Well, it would be rude not to offer some support, wouldn’t it?

A salsa band was brightening up a rather damp evening in a corner of South London, pulling in a sizable crowd as well. The ingenious Indian Eye restaurant opposite was staging a projection of local images in the window. The lovely @mayoroflambeth was doing his civic thing, and local businesses had very kindly donated ample food servings and a steady supply of mulled wine. We stayed at the station for possibly slightly longer than was polite, enjoying the company, and the generous rounds of mulled wine.

And then finally, finally, sometime slightly before 7pm and we were velo bound. Cycling along Burbage Road and the shock was of all the Halloween activity. Things get slightly scary back at the SW8 base, but Sunny Stockwell this most certainly wasn’t. It seemed that every other house was decked out in Halloween decorations. The level of dedication was easily on par with the more traditional Christmas celebrations.

We dodged some trick or treaters, and then rolled up for Muddy Hell, the Halloween cylocross event at le velo, proudly staged by VCL and Rollapalooza.

Much like Herne Hill and South London earlier in the afternoon, cyclocross is often the Cinderella of cycling in SE24. Track riding rules, and rightfully so. But VCL also boasts a thriving junior cyclocross club.

There was a series of racers for juniors, women, men and vets. I think I fall somewhere in the sub-vet section, and so wisely left my set of wheels firmly locked up in the VCL club lock up.

Racing under lights added to the atmosphere. Most riders had made the effort with a Halloween meets lycra style of racing kit. This was matched with the crossover of messenger meets serious sportive competitors. Adding to the ambience was a DJ and a roller racing set up. If it hadn’t been for that fourth (or was it fifth?) mulled wine outside Herne Hill station, I would have been tempted to have a spin on the rollers myself.

The cyclocross course itself was something of a killer. Circumnavigating the perimeter of the track, and then crossing into the centre and with a huge ten-foot drop at one stage, I don’t think it was designed for my track bike. A bunny-hopping VCL rider played to the crowd, delighting the beer tent boys as he jumped over the hurdle after every lap.

The coming together of VCL and Rollapolooza shows what can be achieved from two quite diverse groups. The common theme is of course cycling - how each organisation goes about getting there are quite different. Herne Hill simply provided the perfect setting for a meeting of the clans.

And so some eight hours after setting off for the forgotten terrains of Herne Hill, we arrived back in Sunny Stockwell after an afternoon and evening of treasure hunting, poolside dining and floodlit cyclocross. I’ll have to remember not to forget about Hill Herne more often.

Chapeau!

Never underestimate the kindness of the bicycling community. Never underestimate the kindness of any community - that is, after all, the fundamental building block which brings together disparate individuals to reach a shared goal.

But when that shared goal is to get my track bike, um, back on the track, it’s more of an individual pursuit, and one that alone, I’m not very good at.

I had a so so Saturday morning track session down at le velo. The legs surprisingly said yes, the bike said no. Track cycling is the ultimate in precision performance between rider and machine. You need to have full confidence in your bike, knowing that the slightest increase or decrease in power, and the pedals will respond and you can power home in safety.

It’s a deceiving discipline; much of track cycling is played out in the mind. You need to clear your head of all thoughts around you, and have a truly clear path ahead, both on the track and where your mind is heading. The slightest mechanical worry and you might as well bonk on the banks.

Much like my mind, my track bike was ticking away as I rolled out of Herne Hill, early Saturday morning. There was a very slight catch on the pedals with each rotation. Something was slightly wrong, and my concern was that the bike was going to fall apart on me.

I persisted around the rotation race, not helped when I was stung by a bee underneath my helmet at the start of the fifty-lap sprint around the SE21 circuit. Each time I tried to put the pressure on, my right pedal omitted a slight click against my cleat, coupled with a banging head from the b****y bumblebee.

Not a good place to be for mind, body and bike.

The mechanics of a track bike are so pure and simple, that even the most simpleton of bicycling grease monkeys should be able to find their way around the chain set with a spanner.

Ahem.

Clueless and lycra clad, I approached Eric, the Chief Club Mechanic down at Herne Hill for Velo Club Londre. Eric is a stalwart of South London cycling. His non-paid role basically means servicing the fleet of club track bikes down at le velo each Saturday morning. He shouldn’t have to be dealing with cyclists like me, who struggle fitting a cleat to a new pair of track shoes.

The problem was immediately identified - my crank needed realigning, having loosened out of the bottom bracket with every rotation around the Herne Hill track. It was close to coming off, something that would have made the bumblebee sting look like a minor inconvenience, had I bought down the entire pelaton during my sprint (ish) finish.

Eric very kindly clamped my frame down and got to work with his tool set. It was a tricky, fiddly job, balancing the crank either side, and then locking it all back into place. Forty-five minutes later and the job was complete. I offered to pay, but my offer was immediately dismissed. Forty-five minutes of mechanical time at Evans will cost you something slightly more than the genuine kindness of the bicycling community.

It is the many unpaid volunteers, like Eric, who make up the genuine community found within cycling clubs. Their own racing days may have been ridden out many summers ago, but they remain around the track or circuit, attached to the love of the bicycle and the friendship they can find from like-minded people.

There’s a VCL mechanical club day coming up soon. All club members are encouraged to help out, fixing up the fixies at the tail end of the season, and generally keeping the track in order. I can’t see that I’m going to be much use, but a day on handlebar tape duties is the least I can do to honour the kindness of the bicycling community.

Chapeau!

Herne Hill Halloween

A little known fact of le velo is that there is also a thriving cyclo cross community sitting right next to the track. It may not be the most rock ‘n roll of bicycling lifestyle choices, but this could all change with the help of some promotion from the Rollapaluza crowd. Having made roller-racing sexy once again, Rollapaluza are now turning towards cyclo cross at Herne Hill on Halloween night. Chapeau!

Serco Secure Le Velib

From the company that is responsible for running the DLR and Woolwich Ferry, comes… a whopping £140m budget to roll out le velib scheme across London. In principle, yes; it’s all about the bike, after all. But the good folk of velorution raise some valid points about the budget, and how it could be better spent.

And finally…

Heads up @BillBuffalo for MC Spandex and the semi-pro Vs fakenger skit. I know which side of the saddle I sit upon.

A chance encounter with a fellow rider at le velo this morning and I realised that I was rolling out in the company of cycling greatness. It doesn’t take world-record feats to accomplish such a description. Cycling is judged in relative terms, not absolute. Meeting personal goals makes for cycling greatness.

And so I was thrilled when my track companion, Paul, agreed to record a brief podcast detailing his own rise to cycling greatness over the past few weeks. Cycling from Land’s End to John O’Groats makes Paul something of a cycling God.

His achievement is all the more impressive when you learn that Paul’s le jog was undertaken on an unsupported ride. Planning was all carried out online, and the trip itself was simply a case of cycling, youth hostels and friendship - a very British sense of organisation for a very British ride.

The preparation seemed simpler than the actual ride. I’ve been wanting to undertake my own epic trip for sometime now, but the planning has always put me off. Maybe I have got my priorities the wrong way round?

Cycling greatness can be achieved. There’s a God within us all, waiting to be unleashed whilst sitting on a cycling seat. Sadly I didn’t find my personal act of greatness at le velo on Saturday, but I did find Paul.

Chapeau!