onionbagblog

To the Town Council Offices on Monday evening for an eve of Solstice pagan sacrifice, aka as a Wivenhoe Town Council monthly meeting. Peace, love and understanding were in the estuary air, and so was a Conservative Borough Councillor.

Cripes.

Suited and booted (me, not the Conservative Borough Councillor) and arriving fashionably late as ever, it was standing room only around the top civic table. I perched my backside strategically on the edge of the Press table, sitting on the fence and waiting to hear all about parking problems and dog pooh.

Eleven fine members of the public were left scrambling for seats for THE hot ticket in town that night. Bell ringing practice in Wivenhoe is on Wednesdays, Comrades.

Joining the Little People was a rare and welcome appearance from LibDem Councillor Manning of the Cross ward, Conservative Councillor Quarrie of the Quay and the ever present, ever smiling Councillor Ford, Labour’s red flag waving #workingforwivenhoe Comrade also from the Quay.

It’s not quite Never the Twain, but the political hot potato that was on everyone’s lips was when the chuffers will the Borough Councillors get it on with the Town Councillors?

Concern has been expressed by the UNPAID Town Councillors that communication with the big boys and girls of the Borough is not flowing quite as frequently as perhaps it should.

With Section 106 wonga floating around in Wivenhoe - a classic you scratch my back brown envelope time - the Town Councillors want to make sure that Borough Councillors are singing from the same St Mary’s Wivenhoe hymn sheet.

“Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always.”

And whilst yer at it, let’s chuck some cash from the Cook’s payback fund on a much needed new zebra crossing outside of the Co-op, Comrades.

It’s a fun filled life being a Borough Councillor. Sacrifices have to be made, and we’re not talking about the Solstice shindig on the muddy banks of the Colne either. Friday night has been put aside as a possible timeslot when Never the Twain will divvy up the local dosh.

Phew, rock ‘n roll.

A bit of local admin, and then we were straight in with Reports from the Borough and County Councillors.

It’s all about accountability, I tell ya…

Councillor Young, Labour’s representative on Essex County Council (seriously) was unavailable, but had kindly submitted a written report:

“New ways of working with Highways should make it easier for 20mph zones to be introduced around both schools in Wivenhoe. I have been in constant dialogue with Tracy Chapman, the Highways advisor on this.”

Hurrah!

Hang on - Tracy Chapman? 20mph? Talk about a Fast Car, etc.

Sticking with the #workingforwivenhoe Comrades, and Councillor Ford of the Quay was next to address the meeting:

“I called in the planning application for Rectory Hill. I was unhappy with the visibility of the approach, and the drainage. Highways are happy with the visibility, and I have been advised that the drainage concerns are a civil matter.

My concern about the limited parking space was upheld. The developer has hastily added in four extra parking spaces. The planning application has now been passed.”

Up towards the Cross ward and our two LibDem representatives have also been busy with congestion. A rare absence from Councillor Cory (pressing matters on the Policy Panel) but a written submission instead:

“I have been pressing the University about fixing a date for the Clingoe Hill closure ahead of the start of the Knowledge Gateway development. This has now been moved to the start of the summer holidays, to try and limit the congestion. I still expect we will have one - two weeks of aggravation.”

And then some.

Defying the #workingforwivenhoe election period claims that *ahem* “no LibDems are in Wivenhoe,” the Love Me I’m a Liberal lot then had safety in numbers with Councillor Manning of the Cross ward offering up his report to the Town Council:

“I am now sitting on the Planning Committee at Colchester Borough Council. NOTHING will get through.”

Cripes.

“I also have a new notebook to keep track of all the potholes that continue to appear.”

Yeah, and possibly a pitch to become a Glum Councillor as well.

Fine work, though fella.

It’s not quite a case of shuffling the deckchairs on the Titanic, but Conservative Councillor Quarrie of the Quay reported:

“I have been moved off Planning and now sit on Licensing.”

Which must be bad news for the 24/7 nightclub that I had planned for the Quay.

“Parking around the Cook’s development remains a key issue. The road has yet to be adopted by the County Council, which causes problems when we are trying to police it.”

Eight years and counting, my good Councillor…

Also giving cause for concern is the re-routing of the 74 bus route. Peter Kay, the Public Transport Representative explained how First Group, the current franchise operator, has sneakily slipped in a new route, which completely bypasses the town, turning off for Clacton instead.

“How ridiculous,” commented Councillor Kraft. She wasn’t alone in her observations and a polite, but purposeful letter is probably being penned from WTC right now.

The concern is that the move has been poorly advertised. Yoof may catch the bus, expecting a journey into Wivenhoe. With the sudden turn off, they could be out of town and out of funds as they speed off for an impromptu away day at the seaside.

A lengthy conversation then followed about the 20mph zone along the railway bridge at the bottom of the town. I became completely lost; I wasn’t alone.

Speaking in relation to transport matters, Peter Kay then posed the question:

“What does Wivenhoe Town Council propose to do about the annual nonsense that is the Wivenhoe May Fair?”

Cripes.

Awkward.

Having had this curveball thrown at him from across the civic chamber, Mayor Needham composed himself and offered up the reply that the May Fair Committee are working with WTC on future solutions.

Moving on…

Perhaps a bit of Planning to get the party back on track? Former Councillors Liddy and Purdey have been granted special powers (oooh!) to continue the fine work that they have started in representing WTC when it comes to all things Cook’s.

As for that old family favourite of the planned new Wivenhoe Surgery? Councillor Lodge updated with news that the deal is “far from dead.” The PCT has put the plan to the Doctor’s at the old surgery to see if they want to move forward.

Having a pre-defined national NHS policy as a framework in which to make these decisions would be nice.

Hey hoe.

In WTC Personnel news - THIS JUST IN: New litter picker James has impressed so much that he has been awarded a permanent position after the successful completion of his trial.

Hurrah!

Handling the aftermath of May Fair must have been a stern test, and one that James handled magnificently.

Onto the best bit - the Best Value Committee (aka secretly as the pre-WTC prepping meet where the real Council business is decided - behind closes doors - or so the suggestion has been made to me…)

Anyone been to Stanway of late? Apart from offering up a most splendid jazz club, my knowledge of our Colchester near neighbours is somewhat limited. This is all about to change, with WTC proposing to adopt the Stanway system of committees for local governance. The buggers better have the ACE Working Woods Party.

Back to Wivenhoe however, and in a turkeys voting for Christmas move, WTC agreed unanimously to foot the bill to pay for Mayoral badges for ex-Mayor’s.

Mmm…

It’s a badge of honour, and probably on balance one that is a worthy memento for the UNPAID work of Wivenhoe Town Councillors during their hectic year of civil service.

A slight shuffle along the press bench, and it was here that I made my strategic switch to *shhh* the Conservative hot seat.

Cripes.

All the best parties finally kick into action as the night closes in, and as the public chamber emptied and m’Conservative friend departed to ponder why Wivenhoe still hasn’t got a new surgery under the inspiring leadership of the Coalition, I played musical chairs.

Mr Mayor updated WTC about his activities, in what has been a very busy first month in office:

“I have attended sixteen formal events in the past month. The highlights included visiting Wivenhoe Youth Hub [ditto] the parade of the 16 Air Assault Brigade through Colchester, the opening of the *shhh* Quiet Garden at Broomgove Shcool and the Helping Hands AGM.”

Pleased to report that Helping Hands appears to be in sound financial hands, thanks to some very generous donations locally.

Five points then came out of the Community Safety feedback:

(i) Inconsiderate parking remains an issue (even though WTC, after taking police advice, decided not to implement a considerate parking scheme within the town…)

(ii) The local crime figures are low. A slight increase in burglary however has been recorded. The police have suggested that this is possibly a local gang, with laptops and TV’s being the main items going missing.

(iii) Traffic routes to Cook’s Shipyard have deviated.

Eh?

It appears that companies that don’t take the designated route down Valley Road are in danger of losing their contracts. Keep yer eyes peeled around *cough* Queens Road, Comrades.

(iv) Ball games by the Medway are showing some signs for concerns. Elder kids are getting slightly enthusiastic, with the balls entering into the road.

(v) And finally Speed Watch - this is now being rolled out during the school run hours, with a focus upon Bobbitt’s Way and Elmstead Road.

A brief break for the passing around the chamber of the official civic spearmints (receipts available for inspection on request) and then whaddya know - apt timing and Finance.

Quotes are being sourced for a possible asbestos survey for the William Loveless Hall toilets. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it, etc.

In Correspondence news and an appeal for support from WTC for the emerging Radio Wivenhoe group has been received. This is not necessarily financial, but an endorsement.

Granted, with Mr Mayor proudly declaring:

“This is a positive feature for Wivenhoe. It is an aid for further communication and helps to promote the town. We earnestly support Radio Wivenhoe.”

Splendid.

Someone should sign that man up for a guest spot on Wiv Chat.

Oh, hang on…

A rallying call then went out for players to take part in the annual Town Cricket Match on the evening of 13th July at Rectory Road. The official civic quotation that came out on the evening is:

“WE WANT TO WACK THEM.”

Cripes.

Any Other Business?

With the Ten Acres development looking likely to start soon, a new access road will be in place within Wivenhoe. Peter Hill has formally suggested naming this in memory of Dr Ted Palmer.

Plus no WTC meeting can be complete without the perennial Engine Shed rumour.

HONK!!!!

Massive rumour alert: minuted, but not necessarily economical with the truth, the continual pub gossip of the old Engine Shed being bought up by a developer wrapped up the meeting.

Any views?

A stunned silence filled the chamber.

Time for that pagan sacrifice in the Network Rail car park, Comrades?

A weekend downpour of Biblical proportions, which can only mean that it’s time for the summer publication of Wivenhoe News.

Blimey.

Sea Defences Saga Flows On is the lead story.

See what they’ve done there?

“There has been much anger and dismay caused by the stripping of vegetation from the seawalls in Wivenhoe alongside our tidal river, both downstream and upstream from the flood barrier.”

The bad science justification that was bungled out by the Environment Agency is also re-published, as is a very kind plug for *cough* the Wivenhoe Forum thread.

What’s new here is the offer by the Natural England - the spineless body that rubber stamped the destruction - to re-plant 5,000 “compensatory trees” - you break our legs and we say thank you when you offer us crutches.

Eight hundred and fifty have been put aside for the North Essex estuary. Don’t go getting your digging spades out just yet, Comrades:

“In the Colne Estuary they [Natural England] have provided 850 small tress to Brightlingsea Town Council for a site to the east of the town.”

If you stand at White House Beach on a clear estuary morning, and then squint out over the water with one eye closed, you may just be able to see the benefits of the trees bestowed upon our beloved Brothers in Brightlingsea.

Cheers.

No worries. What we need is a smiling picture of a lovely local lady to add some cheer to the sea defence doom:

“Workers of Wivenhoe - Shelia Scammell, Lollipop Lady.”

Lovely.

Wivenhoe May Fair 2011 gets the p.2 treatment, in something of an after the Lord Mayor’s Show airing. Time to move on, time to plan and time to restore May Fair as a community event for 2012.

Speaking of Mayor’s, Cllr Sinclair is captured in one of his final acts of civic duty in what has been a busy year. The Guide’s Wedding Party is all part of wearing the Wivenhoe civic chains.

But it’s not all about the Brownies or Girl Guides. On a more serious note, there is a plea on p.2 for a new Scout Leader for Wivenhoe:

“Let’s not beat about the bush: twenty youngsters, full of energy and enthusiasm [and then some] raring to take up the opportunity offered by the Scouting movement.”

This is a BIG role that really needs filling. The Wivenhoe News editorial on p.3 plays with similar themes:

“Off the Rails seems to be looking for pretty much a whole new team, the Wivenhoe Society is limping along with no Secretary and a very small committee, the WEA has been without a Chair for a year and is about to lose its Secretary.

One of the things that you often here in praise of Wivenhoe is ‘there’s so much going on here.’ Well folks - things only happen because people organise them.”

Wise word, but maybe it is a reflection of the work / life balance? There are only so many hours in the day and bills still need to be paid. It’s no secret that I have had to severely cut back on my out of hour’s unpaid activity of late.

On a more lighter note and any news article that contains the phrase: “superb French folk music, played on hurdy-gurdies [geddin there!] and bagpipes” has to be a winner. The Town Meets Gown event gets a mention on p.3.

Dr Philippa Hawley and Halcyon Palmer pen a simply superb local historical account on the various Wivenhoe surgeries dating back over the past Century. It is apt timing, what with the STOP / START / STOP farce of the new Wivenhoe surgery by the Fire Station continuing to stall.

I’m not going to re-publish any of the copy here - this article is worthy of your purchase of Wivenhoe News alone. More of the same please.

The Two Ronnies of Wivenhoe local politics, Cyril Liddy and Dave Purdey, are given the It’s Goodbye From Me, and It’s Goodbye From Him headline.

With sixteen and eight years respectively serving as unpaid Town Councillors, both Cyril and Dave are rightfully given a short column to say a fond farewell.

Of sorts…

Along with Sheila Scammell and her lovely Lollipop Lady tales on p.8, Alison Kent also carries an ACE interview with Ray the Rubbish, the retiring litter picker of Wivenhoe:

“I think you should try to keep the front of your property clean, like the old days. Have pride in where you live.”

Hear, hear.

I didn’t realise that the job was only fourteen hours a week - Ray has seemed to be ever-present during my short stay here. Good luck to James, Ray’s replacement.

Aquatic matters are the concern on p.11. Lifeboat Week gets a deserved plug, as does the Wivenhoe branch of the Royal British Legion:

“Remembrance is a very large part of the Legion’s ethos. Those who attend the Legion Wednesday evenings will know that those who have given their lives in Afghanistan and other places in the service of their nation are individually remembered.”

The building fund for the Legion has been boosted by a donation of over £2,000 from the Boxing Day walk staged by WORC. £690 was also raised at the ACE fireworks display. October 29th is already in the calendar for one of the best nights that Wivenhoe is able to offer.

Next door but one at The Nottage and there is a plug for Water Marks - the Summer Exhibition, featuring local artists Alison Stockmarr, Barbara Peirson and Pru Green.

The exhibition is open on Sundays from 2pm - 5pm until 11th September, and on Regatta Day on 23rd July. It is VERY good. There’s a blog post already being lined up…

Speaking of the Regatta, Wivenhoe News reports:

“There will be the usual wacky races and about thirty stalls and a brass band. The pram race will take place on 22nd July.”

Wivenhoe Youth Hub continues to grow and develop new ideas and partnerships. Page 12 updates with reports on the gig at the Philip Road Centre by local band Rising Soul, a go-karting event organised with Brightlingsea’s 4Youth (reckon we got the better name…) as well as the ACE archery and rowing evening.

What is rather humbling about The Hub is that those involved offer so much more back into the community. There was a considerable presence at the WivSoc riverbank clean up, help offered at May Fair, as well as support for the Crabbing Competition next month down by the Quay.

Likewise good news coming out of the ADP Theatre School:

“Angie Diggens has booked the Colchester Charter Hall for a show with her Wivenhoe students, combining the best of her last two shows at Clacton.”

Saturday 25th June at 7:30pm, £12 a ticket, details on 282020.

Helen Chambers writes a review of the Gilbert and Sullivan Society production of Oklahoma! at the Loveless Hall:

“The singing was faultless, the whole cast strong and talented.”

And keeping with the Wivenhoe artistic feel, Andy Brooke writes a well-deserved homage to Moving Image:

“It’s great to see people you know in the audience and have a genuine community atmosphere, rather than renting a DVD at home.”

Further details of the Moving Image summer schedule are up on m’blog over here.

The rock ‘n roll rollicking rollercoaster ride that is Radio Wivenhoe (blimey) get a plug on p.14, as does a call for “journalists, bloggers and poets” for Off the Rails. The Wivenhoe Poetry Prize looks forward to the 2011 results as part of the poetrywivenhoe evening at The Greyhound on the 23rd June. Meanwhile a new University of the Third Age art group is starting at the Loveless Hall on 14th September.

All ‘appening - all ‘appening I tell ya.

The good folk of Wivenhoe Bookshop have an entire page to plug future activity, such is the depth of the programme that is on offer. Too much to condense into a throwaway blog paragraph - my suggestion would be to head to the Bookshop for a perusal and a polite chat.

Or even access the new Wivenhoe Bookshop @audioboo account.

Blimey.

Fine work, ladies, mighty fine work.

Open Gardens on p.16 is caught between the publishing deadline and the sheer splendour that was the most splendid event this spring. It remains the highlight to date of My Year in Wivenhoe - wonderful, wonderful community spirit and pleasure.

Keeping it green fingered and Wivenhoe Bloom explain a little more about the brilliant use of dead space on the Wivenhoe Triangle that is overlooked by the Co-op, the opticians and Jardine:

“The site belongs to Highways - it’s classed as a verge - but WTC has a licence to plant. Jardine has contributed a very generous donation of £250 towards the cost of materials and plants.”

I have no shame in plugging local businesses that put something back into the community. An excellent gesture and kind contribution, Cristian. Jolly good work, Jardine.

The Parish Paths Partnership column penned by Helen Evans on p.16 puffs out a huge PHEW after finding out that Essex County Council continues to support the hyperlocal initiative.

Three Wivenhoe rights of way have been worked on by P3 to day: the side of Broomgrove Schools, the back of the houses in Broome Grove and the path along the top of the sea wall - you might have already heard about the latter…

So successful is the Wivenhoe P3 project that the group has now become a roving project. It is the A-Team of parish paths partnerships. If you have a problem with some overgrown bramble around the North Essex estuary, this crack team of cleaners should be first on your To Call list.

Cripes.

The joyous news coming out of p.17 and the WAGA update is:

“Spring is finally here.”

Hurrah!

Mayor Needham (woh!) explains more about the recent Beating the Bounds walk around Wivenhoe:

“The tradition of beating the bounds came from a time when no one, except the rich, could leave the parish without permission. It was a method of ensuring that local youngsters knew the limits of their parish.

It involved choir boys, the Parish Clerk and clergymen, leaving from the church armed with wands or sticks.”

Splendid. Soft lot, nowadays. The tradition was restored on 5th June this year. No young child was hurt in reviving this most excellent local tradition.

Wivenhoe bird watcher supreme Richard Allen explains very helpfully the difference between swifts, swallows and martins on p.18. Recent local sightings include:

“Nightingales have arrived in good numbers with a particularly vocal bird near the railway underpass along the Trail. Butterflies have enjoyed the good early weather.”

The ever-observant @AnnaJCowen (blimey) has also spotted a Jay along the Trail.

It all gets rather saucy at the foot of p.18 with Spoons, Spurtles and Spatulas.

Oh Lordy.

“Members of the Wivenhoe Woods Working Party recently attended a day’s course in green woodworking. Instruction was given on how to turn wood on a pole lathe and make spoons and other utensils using knives and a shave horse.”

Phew.

A Personal View of Transition Town Wivenhoe by the good Bob Mehew on p.19:

“I considered Wivenhoe a good place for a Transition Town: strong community spirit; a great awareness of climate change, environmental and sustainability issues; a willingness to get involved, to learn, to educate, to participate.”

TTW continues to grow and innovate. Wivenhoe is all the better for it.

The Wivenhoe Townscape Forum (*not* the Wivenhoe Forum…) gets a deserved article on p. 19:

“There is much in Wivenhoe of historic interest. There are 73 buildings in the town which are included in the English Heritage list of buildings of national interest.

The local list of historic assets is being carried out with the support of WTC and WivSoc, in order to list some of the best historical features of Wivenhoe which have not yet been recognised so that they do not become forgotten in the huge amount of new building and development.”

Bill Ellis writes a brilliant personal account of life at Cook’s Shipyard when the order books were full, with comparisons of the modern day site. Photos of the new jetty accompany this on p.22.

We return to the seawall clearance on p.24 with Peter Kennedy, the esteemed Editor of Wivenhoe News, explaining the depth of debate that this has delivered:

“We have received many pages of emails and submissions, and I shall attempt some sort of overview.”

A summary of comments and complaints follow. The consensus is that the Environment Agency has been crap at communication.

Fine work then from Wivenhoe News, which has put some direct Q’s to the EA, and received some rather direct answers:

“Q: Were any badgers found during the Wivenhoe work?

A: No - there were no badgers found for the Wivenhoe work.

Q: Are any of the proposed sites for compensatory replanting located in the Wivenhoe area?

A: No. Wivenhoe Marsh has found to be unsuitable.”

That’s what happens when you rip the entire natural habitat out, fellas.

Whoops.

The Surgery Saga Grinds On is the p.25 message from Bernard Jenkin, MP. Nothing to do with your national coalition NHS policy, I trust, Sir?

To be fair to the MP for Harwich and North Essex, our Conservative colleague airs a sense of frustration over the continued delay:

“The Government’s decision to review its health legislation raises the immediate concern that the new Wivenhoe GP surgery will be beset by even more uncertainty. There is no case for this. There is no excuse for further delays, and I have made this clear to the CE of the PCT.”

Speaking of the impact of coalition policies on a hyperlocal level, p.26 explains more about the £9k (!!!!) tuition fees that @Uni_of_Essex proposes to introduce.

Some PR fluff from the University is then re-printed. Twenty-one summers ago and I was fishing around for a University place. £9k (or the inflationary equivalent) would have put me off considerably. I wouldn’t have heard of Wivenhoe. I wouldn’t have moved here.

Oh how fickle is the Invisible Hand that pushes and prongs us through the life’s great adventures.

Blimey.

Town and Gown fiscal relations are restored with news of the £2,200 raised at November’s dinner at the Nottage, and now handed over as a bursary to five grateful local Wivenhoe students.

Broomgrove Infants updates on p.28 with reports of the Royal Wedding celebrations; Broomgrove Juniors explain more about the Outside / In project with Slack Space in Colchester.

Celebrations also at Millfields - a fond farewell to Angela Eglington after twenty-five years of teaching, as well as the school’s very own 30th birthday.

WivSoc rightfully reflects on the success of the riverbank clean up, with seventy volunteers stepping forward to help clean up the Colne. The sad winding up of the Wivenhoe Youth Theatre is lamented, with more positive news coming from the Colne School Choir’s recent performance in Wivenhoe.

Councillor Sinclair reflects upon his past year of civic service wearing the gold chain on p.30:

“I would have like to have seen a healthy election this year as we are entitled to 13 Councillors. Sadly there were only eleven candidates, hence no WTC election.”

Plus:

“A planning application has been lodged to demolish the St John Ambulance Hall for replacement with a privately owned project. I am part of a project to save the building. A group of people have come together, with funds, to keep it as a usable community facility.”

Mayor Needham writes on p.30 about the challenges that lay ahead for his administration:

“The proposed medical centre, a future for the former police station; reaching a satisfactory conclusion to the planning gains associated with the Cook’s Yard development and keeping an eye on the gains that maybe derived from any further development.”

The local politicos were caught cold ahead of publication deadlines. Columns from Essex County Councillor Julie Young, Colchester Borough Councillors Steve Ford and Mark Cory, were all penned before the re-election of the latter two.

Great fun to watch from the sidelines, mind.

On the sporting front and Wivenhoe Tennis Club has a call for new members; Andrew Nightingale, the Chair of the Wivenhoe and District Sporting Facilities Trust is also asking for help - financial help - for Broad Lane. Anymore updates on the mystery Mr X and his millions?

And to finish on some hyperlocal happiness - Wivenhoe Helping Hands publishes a rather humble piece, explaining more about the volunteer work of this organisation and how it is genuinely helping folk around the town.

Wivenhoe News is sold at the Co-op, Crossways, the Post Office, Bryans Newsagents and the lovely Wivenhoe Bookshop.

Rumours of the demise of the esteemed organ of truth and justice that is The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle are as premature as rumours of the demise of my king size courgette.

Sure, it took a bit of a battering the other day (courgette, not the Chronicle) but both still stand proud and mighty; both equally respected as they are eagerly awaited once a fortnight.

Recent conversations around the town have led to some doubt about the future of The Chronicle. Wivenhoe is built upon rumour and assumptions. If you were to dig a big hole at the foot of Black Buoy Hill, you’d find buried away some of the many myths that have been doing the rounds over the centuries, usually after an afternoon spent boozing away.

Is there a Roman bath along Bath Street? Is Bowie the *shhh* secret headliner for May Fair? Has the Chronicle chronicled local life around these parts for the very last time?

Two out of three ‘aint bad, my lovelies…

And so with a rusty squeak of the old letterbox, and a cheerful smile from Scoop as he wanders off into some magical Wivenhoe kingdom for dreamers and journos: it’s only the May 2011 edition of The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Hurrah!

As is now customary on m’blog, I don’t give a blind man’s buff about those buggers down the road at Brightlingsea. Nice enough folk ‘n all that, but as ever, start yer own b****y hyperlocal blog, Comrades.

And so a turning of the grubby newsprint, and we’re straight in with all the local news and scandal that is fit to print about Wivenhoe. How about starting with The Local Election Results?

Oh Lordy.

Except there wasn’t any seismic change in the local political landscape in the May elections that have just passed. Smiling Councillor Steve Ford continues to smile away down at the Quay, doing his #workingforwivenhoe red flag waving. His Comrade in the Colchester coalition (cripes) - the young man about town Councillor Mark Cory - kept his LibDem seat up at the Cross.

Wivenhoe Town Council meanwhile is left with two spanners short of a full toolbox, with two new Councillors needed for co-option to complete the full quota of thirteen.

Scoop reports:

“At Wivenhoe, Steve Ford, Labour, comfortably retained the town’s Quay ward, securing 1,279 votes, more than double that of his nearest rival, the Conservative candidate Mercedes Mussard [ACE name.]

Waving the simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play, Scoop adds:

“It was an exceptionally good achievement by this particularly active Labour candidate, once described by the Deputy Prime Minister Harriet Harman during one of her visits as being one of the hardest working local councillors in the region.”

Hear, hear (to the hardest working, and not in praise of the fragrant Hattie. Phew.)

But don’t just look at little Wivenhoe; nope - move up the map and towards the bigger picture of the Cross. The Chronicle reports:

“Across much of the country there were dismal results for the Liberal Democrats, but in the Wivenhoe Cross ward, Mark Cory, the young 23 year old candidate [easy, ladies] helped to stem the tide against his party, retaining the seat with the support of 673 votes.”

It of course helped the cause of the “young” Cllr Cory (what is this - a Grace Brothers sitcom?) that the #workingforwivenhoe red flag flying comrades pretty much deserted the locals during the campaign, concentrating on the campus instead.

Whoops.

To complete the local political picture, the Chronicle lead concludes:

“There was no election for places on Wivenhoe Town Council as only ten candidates stood for the thirteen available seats.”

It was actually eleven candidates, but then that simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play probably got lost down a back seat at The Greyhound.

Passing over all the Brightlingsea puff, and then on p.2 we come across:

Art and Poetry in the Trenches.

Walk it like you talk it, Comrades:

“A one day course entitled Art and Poetry in the Trenches, presented by Graham Slimming and Colin Padgett, will be run by the WEA in Wivenhoe next month. This course will be held on 11th June at the Congregational Hall, from 10:30am to 4pm.”

Janice Allen on 824470 secures you a booking.

My eyes were momentarily fixed upon the big blueness that is the advert for Brightlingsea Open Air Swimming Pool as the p.3 pin up. I am historically a man suited to an outdoor aquatic lifestyle. Fifteen summers have been spent swimming in unheated lidos.

I spent one spring afternoon walking past the Brightlingsea Open-Air Pool / oversized duck pond, and thought, nah - that’s no pool, my friends: that’s a large hole in the ground with a bit of a drainage situation.

There’s Plenty of Entertainment at the May Fair [*cough* Bowie] is the p.4 headline. It’s pretty much a run through of the May Fair Committee press release, covering the fact that a rather ace line up including Ady Johnson (see) local lad Lou Terry (MUST see) Cav OK (pals) and Housework (hardest working band in, um, Sunny Colch) will all be helping you to get tired and emotional at the KGV, come Bank Holiday Monday.

Pages 10 and 11 cover a couple of lovely, lovely local stories, which although haven’t been picked up the nationals, they certainly represent the charm and quality in which the Chronicle is so respected for locally.

Hearing Dogs for Deaf People… is all about the Hearing Day Centre which runs a weekly hearing clinic at the lovely Wivenhoe Eyecare. The target of £5,000 has just been reached to help sponsor a hearing dog:

“The centre has been raising funds over several years for Hearing Dogs for Deaf People, through donations from its clients, and larger events such as golf days.”

Meanwhile, Deans’ Nursery and Garden Centre Celebrates Fifty Years of Trading pretty much Tells It Like It Is in the headline for a story with a very proud local Wivenhoe history:

“In the late 1950s two young brothers, having just completed a horticultural course at the Writtle Agricultural College near Chelmsford, started to grow outdoor tomatoes in Wivenhoe. The brothers, Anthony and Steve Dean, son of the Wivenhoe GP, the late Dr William Dean, ran this modest enterprise behind the old cemetery just off Belle View Road.”

The business is now based on the Harwich Road at Great Bromley. It is managed by Sarah Dean, the granddaughter of Dr Dean. It may be a puff piece of advertorial, but it’s a lovely read in The Chronicle, rightfully celebrating half a century of trading from a local business.

An Afternoon Upstairs with Martin Newell on p.12 once again tells you all you need to know. With locally baked cakes being promised upstairs at The Greyhound on the afternoon of 11th June, tickets are selling like… hot cakes. Seriously - get yourself down to the Bookshop for a £4 bargain.

Wivenhoe’s Funny Farm for this Thursday (26th) gets a plug on p.15.

“Headliner is the outrageous Californian comic Scott Capurro, familiar to watchers of 8 out of 10 cats. MC will be Wivenhoe’s very own [and most splendid] Hazel Humphreys. The show starts at the Cricket Club at 8pm with £6 on the door.”

And finally…

Mrs. Ackroyd at the Wivenhoe Folk Club.

Cripes.

“On 2nd June, Wivenhoe Folk Club are hosting Mrs. Ackroyd as their main guests. Mrs. Ackroyd is a band, not a person.”

Blimey.

It is this type of bonkers news in brief that separates the wheat from the chaff, and also separates the exceedingly splendid Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle from some of the crap that gets pushed our way via the nationals.

The Chronicle may be in rude health, but that’s a fine position in which to preach from.

The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is distributed free amongst local households. Additional copies are 25p from local newsagents.

And so there I was, walking down the High Street, past the Philip Road Centre and pondering how Wivenhoe Youth Hub is progressing some four months after my first lovely, lovely visit. An opening up of the inbox back at base and whaddya know - it’s only an invite to catch up and see how the Hub continues to grow from strength to strength.

Ace.

The Hub has been building upon the success since the re-launch at the start of the year. The Tuesday evening sessions for the younger folk around the town remain incredibly successful. Thursday night is for Year 8 and upwards, with membership also growing over recent months.

Having visited on a Tuesday evening previously, I was keen to find out how Thursday nights are shaping up. A whirlwind tour took in archery, rowing, a BBQ, conversations, catching up with a Colchester Borough Councillor and having a firm, civic handshake from the ever present and newly installed Mr Mayor of Wivenhoe.

Woh.

Yep - the Hub is having something of heyday right now.

As well as the usual activities such as pool, computer games and outdoor sports, Thursday evening saw a visit from the Hub’s friends from the Essex Boys and Girls Club based at Chelmsford. Rowing and archery were on the agenda. Both proved to be incredibly popular.

With forty or so young folk turning up at The Hub on Tuesday evenings and thirty on Thursdays, the Hub is still keen to recruit more members. Local organiser and volunteer Michael Padmore told me that it is encouraging to see the Thursday night sessions grow, but he is keen to continue to expand the membership.

It’s all incredibly informal - there is a small admission charge on the door, and then you’re pretty much in. With a committed team of local adult volunteers, the Hub is a safe and relaxing environment for all that help to make it such a success. Extra adult volunteers are also always welcome, with the only skills needed being enthusiasm and agreeing to have a CRB check carried out.

Having spent half an hour or so as a relative stranger walking around, it was wonderful to see the level of acceptance and interest in what I was doing down at The Hub.

“Um, I’m being nosey, taking a few photos [CRB checked - four times over for the day jobs...] and looking for some volunteers to have a chat with and explain more about what precisely goes off down here at the Phillip Road Centre.”

I wasn’t short on candidates.

As touched upon in the audioboo above, it’s not all about computer games or kicking a football about. The Youth Council plays a very genuine role in helping to shape local decisions around the town. Credit must go to Wivenhoe Town Council for allowing this level of trust, but more importantly to the Youth Council members who are genuinely keen to help shape facilities for young folk around Wivenhoe.

Funding of course remains a constant struggle in these days of financial uncertainty. The retiring Mr Mayor very kindly handed over a generous donation to the Hub as part of his Charity Fund; Cllr Corey is also looking at new ways to obtain funding from Colchester Borough Council.

But the best support that the Hub can receive is simply to continue to grow. New members, new volunteers, new ideas. It may sound like some claptrap of a Third Way of political thinking, but once you have that critical mass of membership, it is difficult for any organisation to deny funding.

If you want to get involved with The Hub, then a good starting point for any interested adult volunteers would be to contact Michael over here. The junior and senior sessions take place on Tuesdays and Thursdays - simply turning up and introducing yourself should do the trick.

I look forward to following the continued growth of The Hub…

To the William Loveless Hall on Wednesday evening for a hot date with @AnnaJCowen.

Cripes.

I told the girl that I had secured tickets for a performance that involves bling, envelopes stuffed full of cash being handed over and a back row seat. I didn’t disappoint.

The Annual Town Meeting of Wivenhoe Town Council starred the most magnificent Mr Mayor all chained up and handing over cheques to the recipients of the Mayor’s Charity. The back row seat lived up to its billing - you don’t know who yer asking political questions of, once the sun starts to set over Wivenhoe.

And so this was THE hot civic ticket for the evening. I say ticket, but any Tom, Dick or Harry strolling in off the High Street could have gained access. I did see a Tom and a Harry. As for Dick?

Steady, Jase. Steady.

We all love the Loveless Hall (right?) but Mr Mayor did his best to demolish it with a swing of the civic hammer to herald the start of the formal meeting. Everyone’s favourite town council hall was pretty much full, with an impressive turn out to witness local Wivenhoe democracy.

Mr Mayor delivered his formal speech, outlining the highs and lows of his civic year:

“We have broken away from the norm this year by staging a number of new social events. This has been a most interesting year where I have met some really lovely people. Working with the schools and the University must be top of my personal list.”

Ever humble, Mr Mayor added:

“My failures have been in chasing Highways for salt during the cold snap. Jim and Andy, the Council groundsmen, put in an extra mile. We hope to be pro-active as a Council, should such bad weather return to Wivenhoe.”

Paying tribute to the retiring litter picker Ray Smith, Mr Mayor spoke glowingly of the role that Ray has played in the local community. A presentation took place, with a bottle of brandy, an engraved brandy glass and an engraved spade handed over.

Best hold on to that Ray - you may just need this when WTC is next called upon to be pro-active…

Andrew Clairborn from Anglia Ruskin University was then invited to explain more about some of the architectural designs in place around the Loveless Hall. Students on the urban planning course have been visiting Wivenhoe, looking for ideas to create a civic centre on the land that covers the Loveless Hall, the old police houses and the Town Council Offices:

“The brief is for our students to understand the social fabric of Wivenhoe. Every student comments on what a fantastic place this must be to live. One student was short-listed with her designs, leading to a Whitehall reception.”

Councillor Fran Richards addressed the meeting, putting in a call to arms for plans for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee next summer:

“We don’t want this to be a WTC led event - we want to involve the whole community.”

I’m not exactly one for a right Royal knees up, but celebrating the Establishment nuptials a few weeks back at a Wivenhoe Town FC beer festival almost turned me into a flag waver. More of the same please.

The distribution of the Mayor’s Charity Fund followed. It was truly ace to see representation from all walks of Wivenhoe life, all deserving, all working for a better Wivenhoe.

I fired up my trusty F717, perched down at the front of the stage and handed over the official notepad duties to @AnnaJCowen. With firm instructions to “scribble down every group name,” we didn’t get off to a good start when the girl replied “what?”

We are almost approaching hearing aid enhancement for the poor girl, and so apologies if some of the deserving groups have been missed off the list:

East Anglia Children’s Hospice, St Helena Hospice, Parachute Regiment Afghanistan Trust, The Over 60′s Club (membership form for @AnnaJCowen, please?) Age Concern Luncheon Club, Helping Hands, St Mary’s Church, Wivenhoe Methodist Church, Wivenhoe Congregational Church, St Michael’s Church (I think that’s all bases covered…) Transition Town Wivenhoe (hurrah!) Wivenhoe Folk Club, Wivenhoe Ferry Committee, Wivenhoe Town Regatta, Wivenhoe May Fair Committee, Wivenhoe in Bloom, Wivenhoe Co-operative Community Board, Colne Community Music Exchange, Millfields School, Broomgrove School, Avenue Playgroup, the Wivenhoe Free School, Wivenhoe Swingers Society [um, you sure about this one?] Wivenhoe Toddlers Group. Scout and Guides Association, The Hub (hurrah! hurrah!) Educational Aid for Children in Africa, Wivenhoe Sporting Facilities Trust, Wivenhoe Junior Badminton, Wivenhoe Junior Cricket Club and Wivenhoe Junior Sailing Club.

Phew.

And relax.

Pretty much all organisations were represented on the night, and if they weren’t, it was because they had group activities taking place. A blogger who is bored of London can bugger off out towards the North Essex estuary wilds, and then find such a diverse range of groups and activities that the temptation is to say: woh - where to start?

Um, back to London?

‘fraid not, Comrades…

Over £3,000 in total was distributed by Mr Mayor. There are even some coins left in the civic cap for the incoming Mr Mayor, thanks to a very generous donation from the Wivenhoe Youth Theatre, which sadly folded earlier in the year.

With the meet ‘n greet handshakes and cheesy photos filed away, time for the formal business end of the meeting; time for a swift half across the road over at The Greyhound.

Only joking.

The minutes from the 2010 meeting were approved and then the Annual Report and Financial Statement were up for discussion. Both are essential bedtime reading. Both seemed inappropriate for back row consumption whilst out on a hot date with @AnnaJCowen. Best left for the bedroom, luv.

With no formal resolutions, questions were opened up to the floor. I almost put up my hand by instinct, and came out with my annual “why do I have to pay TWICE to swim in Lambeth owned pools?”

Whoops.

Wrong Borough, Comrade.

Q: Any news on the new surgery?

A: We are expecting a final decision within the next month. We are ready to go, and if we are given the money, work can start tomorrow.

Wow.

Q: What of the empty police houses? *cough* @asset_transfer…

A: We understand that these WILL be sold. WTC has expressed an interest, but we have to look at the long-term logistics. How do we furnish the loan? Do we have the support of all residents? We are waiting to hear the final asking price.

Q: Cars are still speeding down Station Road. The road is also falling apart. Will speed bumps be put in place?

A: No.

Q: On behalf of Neighbourhood Watch, are there any WTC plans to adopt the Considerate Parking scheme that is already in place in Brightlingsea?

A: [from Councillor Penny Kraft] I have already answered this question at the last Neighbourhood Watch meeting that you chaired.

Ouch.

As previously blogged, WTC won’t be adopting the Considerate Parking scheme. Residents cause the problems in Brightlingsea and it is relatively easy to administer. Commuters are the problem in Wivenhoe - WTC doesn’t know who it is dealing with.

Q: Any plans for 41 Acres behind the cricket club?

A: This plot of land has now been sold. A small amount can be built upon. We are watching this closely.

Q: Can you extend the skateboard park?

A: We have been approached by the elder skateboarders who have now outgrown the existing facility. There is a wish list, should funds be free. The skate park is high up on the agenda.

Q: What the chuffers is happening with the Engine Shed?

Oh Lordy.

A: It doesn’t belong to WTC and so we have little power. There is the very real danger that the building will collapse. Network Rail has wrapped up the building to try and preserve it. This is as far as we can get from them.

Q: What of disable access at the station?

A: No further updates…

Q: The zebra crossing up by The Cross is fading.

A: We will take a look at this [plus helpful interjection by the helpful Councillor Young of Essex County Council.]

Speaking of the big boys and girls (some more bigger than others) and Mr Mayor formally congratulated Councillor Steve Ford (Labour, Quay ward) on his re-election to Colchester Borough Council, as well as Councillor Mark Corey (LibDems, Cross ward.)

One loud round of applause, one loud (ish) round of applause.

The new Town Councillors were then introduced (helloooo!) following the lack of election with not enough names stepping forward. Mr Mayor then paid a very warm tribute to the various retiring Town Councillors.

Hear, hear.

We were reminded that Wivenhoe is a very apolitical community, with our elected (or not, as the case may be…) representatives very much working for Wivenhoe (geddin there!) rather than the petty tribalism of party politics.

This warmed my heart, and the bosom of @AnnaJCowen, as we shared a bag of chips from Papa’s on the way home.

The votes have been counted and the results for the two Wivenhoe wards in the Colchester Borough Council local elections are as follows:

Wivenhoe Quay: Labour 1279, Conservative 573, Greens 217, LibDems 172.

Congratulations to Labour’s Councillor Steve Ford for holding his seat. He has increased his majority from a nail biting two votes back in 2007, to 702 this time round.

It’s a similar as you were situation up at The Cross ward:

Wivenhoe Cross: LibDems 673, Labour 303, Conservative 244, Greens 93.

Well done to LibDem Councillor Mark Cory for also holding onto his seat with an increased majority, despite the Labour spin of “increasing the vote by 250%.”

I personally have some concerns that the campaigning in the Cross ward is played out on campus, with the residents of Wivenhoe often overlooked. But that’s an argument for another day, Comrades…

Meanwhile, back to #hyperlocal matters and Wivenhoe Town Council is actively trying to co-opt two other Councillors. With eleven names stepping forward for the thirteen vacancies, two more seats are now open for co-option.

A good starting point for any would be Town Councillor wanting to observe local democracy would be to attend the annual Town Council Meeting taking place on 11th May at the Loveless Hall, starting at 7:30pm.

To the Town Council Office on Monday evening for the final meeting of Wivenhoe Town Council - nope, we’re not about to surrender citizenship to the impending city status of Colchester - there’s some serious spunk inside the folk of Wivenhoe, and then some, Comrades…

But with the ballot box looming (or not…) then this was the final farewell for the current administration. It was to be a meeting where the words “emotional“, “cowslips” and “bottoms” would all appear in the official minutes.

Blimey.

Chomping at the bit and ready for the off (and the electoral door knocking) was LibDem Councillor Cory, representing the folk of Wivenhoe Cross at Colchester Borough Council. The good councillor had very kindly given up his evening of ear bending to update WTC with recent #hyperlocal matters around his patch.

“Dog fouling behind Chainee Road has been a problem. Wivenhoe Town Council helped to re-surface this recently. Sadly some dog walkers are not so respectful.”

Rather than finger point, I rather like Cllr Cory’s approach in accentuating the positives here:

“The solution has been to approach the nearby Broomgrove School and ask if the children would like to help to make No Dog Fouling signs to put up.”

Did someone say B-b-b-b-b-big society?

Blimey.

Alternatively I feel duty bound to remind you that the charming Pet Shop Girls down at Wivenhoe Pets supply dog poop bags.

Other Cross issues from Cllr Cory included drainage problems around Broomgrove (sorted) potholes (reported) and the possibility of introducing streetlights at the Elmstead Road / Brightlingsea Road junction by the football club.

A cheeky grin and a smile towards the top table, and then the good councillor reminded WTC that he was up for re-election, and he hoped to continue the pothole and dog pooh conversation next month.

Safety in numbers, etc and so next up it was fellow LibDem colleague Councillor Manning, also of the Cross, also providing an update.

“I’ll keep this very short - I have been making sure that residents in my ward have enough black bin liners.”

Bravo.

One would hope that there is a little more meat on the bone, so to speak, in some of the election literature heading our way over the coming weeks

Peter Kay, the Public Transport Representative, then filed his report. There is the possibility of the 61 and 62 bus timetable changing in the afternoons from September through until the end of winter. This is to take into account increased public transport use during this period.

Speeding through the agenda faster than a juggernaut down Valley Road (steady) and next we were on to Planning. The lease issue continues to dominate the ongoing Cook’s Shipyard business. Progress is slow.

Something slightly more positive however when it comes to the much delayed new Health Centre for Wivenhoe. Mr Mayor updated WTC that he has held a meeting with the PCT this week, amid growing concerns that national government NHS policy changes may have a serious impact on the future of health provision in Wivenhoe - all in a non-party political sense, of course.

The outcome is something extremely positive:

“We are gathering momentum over this issue. After much delay over this project, we are hopeful of having a definitive answer in May. All is not lost and it even looks rather positive.”

That’s something to tell the electorate on the doorstep, and with immaculate timing, it was back to the day job, and back to the door knocking from our good LibDem Councillor friends.

Um, good luck with that one, fellas.

The Personnel Committee confirmed that Ray, Wivenhoe’s Litter Picker Supreme, has now formally retired. A much-deserved formal presentation will take place at the Annual Town Meeting next month.

Meanwhile, we have a replacement in James, who has already been busy going about his business. Mr Mayor is extremely happy with the appointment, and encouraged that we weren’t short on applicants for the post.

A lengthy debate then followed all about the Best Value Committee. This *isn’t* about umm-ing and ahh-ing over the price of a Pot Noodle at the Co-op, but as the name suggests, how WTC can make the most of the little dosh that comes our way.

As ever, I became slightly lost in the finer detail. The allocation of Section 106 funding was at the core, and with perfect time, Colchester Borough Council is about to introduce some training in how to understand 106 arrangements.

Sign me up now, Comrades.

But back to the finer mechanics of Best Value. The discussion continued, with great debate about definitions within the WTC constitution. Words such as “emotion” were erased, and “code of conduct” inserted instead. There was even an on the record “bloody hell!” moment, but one wouldn’t expect to see this appear within the WTC letter of the law.

You say tomatoe, I say tomato, etc. Actually, I say can we move on please?

Bloody hell, etc.

Never one to stick to the formalities of the agenda (and hurrah for that,) and a fashionably late appearance from the good Councillor Steve Ford, Labour’s representative in the Quay ward, then lit up the Council chamber.

Councillor Ford played it cool, not wanting to talk about potholes and dog pooh, but simply taking the time out from the election stump to thank and praise the work of the retiring Wivenhoe Town Concillors.

Some very honest and humble words were spoken about Councillors Iacovou, Fox and Liddy, the latter of which is stepping down from UNPAID civic service after sixteen years in the chamber.

Sweet. Now back to yer #workingforwivenhoe, Comrade.

Working Party Reports then followed. Any party that involves work is usually one that I would give a wide berth - a bit like the Wivenhoe Community Mini Bus, which has been experiencing a few navigational malfunctions with some drivers. Rest easy, Comrades - the verges causing the minor traffic woes have now been trimmed.

Speaking of minor gardening mishaps, Mr Mayor reported that an official complaint has been received by a resident about the premature cutting of the cowslips in the cemetery, before they had the chance to bloom. You may smirk, my friends, but such issues have been known to bring down governments.

The Wivenhoe Wood Working Party (or www.p for the cool kids by the Co-op) extended an open invite for any local folk who want to find out what the WTC group with the BEST name actually gets up to. There is an Open Day on 15th May, meeting by the picnic benches in the wood.

www.p <3 lol, as we like to say wit da yoof.

Speaking of which, the Youth Facilities Working Party perhaps provided the most controversial moment of the meeting. It is a sign of the economic times when WTC is considering future funding arrangements for the ACE Hub down at the Philip Road Centre.

No need to run for office on a Yoof ticket just yet - simply that WTC would like to see the balance books of the group, ahead of awarding a further £1,000 annual contribution to help support the Hub.

It makes economic, if not social sense. The overall aim of the Hub is to be self-sufficient. The initial grant was just that - a means to an end. It now seems that the end may be closer than was first thought. One to watch for the budget review in the autumn…

Members’ Individual Reports included a humble, honest and glowing tribute from Mr Mayor towards the three councillors that are stepping down. Mr Mayor also updated the meeting with his civic engagements over the last month - EIGHT events have been attended by the nice man with the bling. That’s an awful lot of Mr Sheen to account for in the town budget.

I believe the children are our future, treat them well and let them lead the way, etc… Mr Mayor highlighted the recent Colne Fusion concert at the Congregational Hall, the Youth Council visit to the chamber and a visit to the nature garden at Broomgrove as his personal best bits from the past month.

Community Safety and Police Matters (replacing the old Neighborhood Watch Scheme) offered feedback on the recent move of our local police team to the fire station. There is slight concern about contact details. A mobile number is available (07966 197245) as well as a non-emergency contact line on 0300 333 4444. WTC resolved to help publicise these more.

As for the recent NAP meeting? I refer my honourable colleagues to the blog post blah blah blah…

The good Town Clerk reported on the town council business of one burial grant being approved, the second grass cutting in the cemetery (watch out for those cowslips - whoops) and the brilliant news that the bumblebee springer in the KGV has been given a new head.

Blimey.

“Caution needs to be exercised” when it comes to Finance. There is a “substantial surplus” in the WTC coffers, with a recommendation to re-assess the budgets that were cut at the start of the financial year. £3,000 will soon be needed for urgent chapel repairs; a matching figure is being put aside as an emergency legal fighting fund. Presumably the two aren’t linked.

Letters of Correspondence to WTC included a rather sad update that the Wivenhoe Youth Theatre has been wound up. After sixteen years of working with young folk around the town, recruitment has become something of a problem.

It’s not that Wivenhoe is short on young theatrical talent - witness the booming ADP Theatre, and the fine talent on show in the Pantomime - it is simply that many other local groups now offer a similar service.

Mr Mayor personally pledged to write a letter of thanks to those involved in keeping the Youth Theatre running, and congratulating them on what has been achieved within the town.

A notice of the Annual Town Meeting was formally read out. Wednesday 11th May in the Loveless Hall is THE social event of the year. Or something. It certainly is for Mr Mayor, who came as close as is constitutionally possible in asking for a cross party whip. Shirt and ties would be nice as well.

Highways confirmed that the 20mph speed limit for lower Wivenhoe would be formally adopted by Essex County Council on 25th July. A new bus shelter is now in place outside Cedric’s. Civic pride was taken in announcing that it can “accommodate four bottoms.” That all depends on the size of bottom, surely…

Never mind the length, feel the thickness.

Which in a round about way brings us back to the final meeting of this administration. WTC is a few sandwiches short of a picnic hamper - only eleven names have stepped forward for civic duty, leaving two co-opted vacancies.

The role of a Town Councillor is unpaid, but you do get to enjoy the civic bowl of sweets that is passed around the chamber once a month.

Humbug!

That time once again: time to elect a new set of councillors to Wivenhoe Town Council.

Cripes.

Except it’s not. With an increased workload and a subsequent increase from the traditional eleven officers to thirteen, only eleven names have thrown their hat into the political ring and stepped forward for civic service.

Which leaves Wivenhoe with a coronation of councillors, rather than being held to account at the ballot box. Anywhere else and this might be a bit of an issue. But here in Wivenhoe there is very much the consensus that the unpaid councillors carry out a rather fine job, pretty much in a non-party political manner as well.

And so representing WTC for the next four years, please step forward: Jennifer Campbell, Ian Endean, Kay Hall, Penny Kraft, Neil Lodge, Bob Needham, Kevin Read, Fran Richards, Brian Sinclair, Albey Stinson and Andrea Vaughan.

It is expected that Councillor Needham will wear the civic chain as Mr Mayor (hurrah!) for the next twelve months. It’s a mighty tough act to follow on from Councillor Sinclair, but I’m sure that yer man is up for the challenge.

It is great to see some new faces sitting around the top table, as well as the experience of some of the returning officers. Congratulations all on stepping forward for what has to be said once again - UNPAID civic service.

As the Pop Genius of this Parish so rightfully points out in the excellent A Prospect of Wivenhoe:

“The WTC of recent times has always been rather nice and approachable. It chiefly comprises of people who know the worth of the place and love living here. Sometimes there are cock ups… it would be unusual if there were not. At other times – when not hamstrung by the far larger Borough Council – our Councillors do genuinely good and valuable work, much of it behind the scenes.”

And so what happens now with the remaining two unfilled vacancies? Being co-opted is an option - anyone who wants to take on the responsibility of being a councillor can come forward, and the new administration can agree to this.

It’s not a perfect system of democracy, but it may just flush out some talent that was maybe weary of the possible pitfalls of a local election process. I’m sitting firmly on my hands, Comrades.

Meanwhile, what of the big boys and girls of Colchester Borough Council? Anyone settling down for a quiet evening in front of Eastenders of late may have been disturbed by some gunning rosette wearing types, demanding to kiss the first born in the house and pose for a photo opportunity. I think @AnnaJCowen secretly rather enjoyed her rather wet slap around the lips.

Yep - the serious business of electing a couple of new borough councillors for Wivenhoe is well underway. Keep your eye on the prize at all times. Which in Wivenhoe means one seat in the Cross ward, and one seat down in the Quay.

CBC runs the weird election by thirds protocol for political office. Rather than elect the entire chamber en mass, a third of the councillors are left to do the doorstop thing each year.

Knock, knock, knocking around Wivenhoe of late have been Mark Cory (defending his current LibDem seat - um, good luck, fella…) Berthold Lausen (Green) Mo Metcalf-Fisher (Conservative) and Ashley Rudge (Labour.)

Down in the Quay ward and current sitting Councillor Steve Ford (Labour) is up against Sam McKay (LibDems) Sandra Moog (Green) and Mercedes Mussard (Conservative.)

There are some ACE names in there, and ones which will no doubt entertain me as I enter the polling booth, even before I start to think about where to put the cross.

Now then - who wants to explain to me what the chuffers AV is all about and whether I should really be arsed?

Like I said - I’m sitting on my hands, Comrades.

You may prefer the photographic evidence in the blog post below, but for me, the official heralding that spring has arrived around these estuary parts is the publishing of the spring edition of Wivenhoe News.

Hurrah!

Town and Uni Clash Over Proposed Road is the lead story. With a byline of *ahem* Jason Cobb (blimey!) the news piece documents the recent lively Nottage meeting about @Uni_of_Essex’s Knowledge Gateway, and the traffic disruption is will cause those travelling in from the Tendring Peninsula.

The front page is shared with a photo of a very dashing young man about town. Workers of Wivenhoe features the rather charming Mark Andras and his local building business. I hear the good man builds rather decent kitchen extensions…

The Editorial lead describes the recent Environment Agency work as:

“Napalm-like treatment of the sea wall.”

Peter Kennedy pens a moving piece on page 3 all about the recent floods suffered by our Wivenhoe namesakes centred on Wivenhoe Dam in Australia. For all the recent CO7 woes regarding the vandalism by the Environment Agency, such devastation Down Under brings home the message about the importance of protection.

Back down to local matters, and if you want to define Wivenhoe, then ‘sitting somewhere between Theydon Bois and Hatfield Peverel‘ would suffice. Not geographically correct of course, but fine work with Wivenhoe News being sandwiched between the two locations, in proudly picking up the silver place in the 2010 Essex Community Magazine Awards.

In anticipation of Lifeboat Week (6th - 11th June,) Jane Hughes writes about The First Lifeboat: Henry Greathead’s Original. The as ever excellent Arts News wraps up Christmas Presence, the Denis Wirth-Miller retrospective at the Minories, recent events up at The Lakeside (“…no longer as austere and drab“) Moving Image (hurrah!) Jardine (hurrah! hurrah!) and even the Hub (hurrah! hurrah! hur… oh - you get the idea.)

David Williams reviews a selection of CD’s that are available at Wivenhoe Bookshop, and then there is a brief para all about the rather bizarre arrival of Sinterklaas down at the Quay in December (which incidentally I have deliberately chosen not to blog about. Having been asked why by a number of sources, then I will add the diplomatic answer of finding it all rather surreal for 2010.)

Moving on…

Nottage News reports on the buildings update for our fine nautical place of heritage. The Film Club is mentioned, as well as looking ahead to the annual Summer Exhibition.

Ian Valentine then updates on the state of the local bell ringers.

Blimey.

Anyone living in lower Wivenhoe will no doubt testify that the men and women of bells are indeed in fine form, what with the weekly Wednesday evening rehearsals, and the peeling out of a quick chorus shortly before 10am on a Sunday morning.

Ding dong. Get in there.

Restoring the Royal British Legion reports on the good news of a planning application and possible listed status having been submitted. A decision is due later in March.

The fine work of the locally based ADP Theatre receives a positive write up on page 12, as well as reviews of recent events at St Mary’s, such as the Cavendish Consort and The Odd Tale of Odstock.

The wonderful Wivenhoe panto gets the star treatment overleaf (“Energetic! Hilarious! Charismatic!“) as well as a quick plug for Oklahoma being performed by the Wivenhoe Gilbert & Sullivan Society from 15th - 19th March at the Loveless Hall.

Plans for the May Fair are mentioned on page 14, as well as a call for ideas and inspiration for the fascinating Off the Rails project down at The Station. The brilliant Bookshop updates on the forthcoming Philosophers course, the Reading Group (now staged within the splendour of Jardine) and the branching out of the Bookshop to stage intimate live music. All accounts suggest that Fiona Harman’s Drum performance was the perfect start to this recent venture.

Wivenhoe in Bloom and Open Gardens take a green-fingered approach overleaf. With spring finally having settled in these parts, the time is almost here to proudly show us what you’ve got. Anyone interest in a half-seeded lawn?

Wivenhoe Allotments ponder the woe of the extreme winter, whilst the fine Richard Allen, Wivenhoe’s Bird Watcher Supreme, writes of his good fortune during the cold snap in being able to spot fifteen waxwings down by the Colne - and the exact location for this rather rare appearance? Um… in the bushes that have now been bulldozed by the Environmental Agency.

Whoops.

Coppicing with the Wivenhoe Woods Working Party is explained, as well as a fascinating write up of the fungi forage that took place in Wivenhoe Wood during the autumn.

The centre page diary events are as packed as ever (and soon to be shamelessly added to the Wivenhoe Forum diary…)

Early 80′s events centred on Wivenhoe Port, and in particular, a plausible tale of smuggling and intervention by the Belgium Old Bill, are written with the perfect prose from Bill Ellis on page 22.

The Circumnavigation of St Barba of Mersea by Peter Goldsmith continues the maritime theme. The ace Transition Town Wivenhoe provide an update, alongside the equally ace Wivenhoe Pets (Murphie settling in rather well, thank you very much.) Some online bore then bangs on about the Wivenhoe Forum (whaddya mean, you *still* haven’t joined, blah blah blah…)

The View From the High Street with Tom Roberts looks back on past Wivenhoe winters, making comparisons with the snow of 2010, and explaining rather helpfully some of the urban myths about clearing the snow away yourself.

Bernard Jenkin MP uses his column to try and explain the abolition of PCT’s, as well as pressing the case for a cleaner Colne. Mr Mayor Brian Sinclair explains WTC matters, covering the closure of the police station, Cook’s Shipyard progress (slow…) the new Medical Centre (stationary) and the continuation of the closure of Queens Road.

LibDem Colchester Borough Councillor Mark Cory (Wivenhoe Cross ward) uses his column as an election launch ahead of voting this May. Meanwhile Labour’s Councillor Steve Ford adds his views on the closure of Clingoe Hill and the Knowledge Gateway. Plus any local Cllr column wouldn’t complete without the mention of potholes.

Essex County Councillor Julie Young keeps up the familiar local themes - Knowledge Gateway, Queens Road, potholes - as well as the ongoing debate about making Station Road a 20mph zone.

Speaking of our friends up at the University, the Essex Book Festival, the recent Ofsted report on the Nursery and the Town and Gown Dinner conclude events centred around Boundary Road and beyond.

Obituaries are provided for David Adams and Gerry Oliver.

News From Our Schools uplifts the mood, with ample enthusiasm for our young folk. Millfields School has a Young Reporters theme, encouraging pupils to pen pieces all about recent news around the school community. The recent performance by a selection of Millfields pupils at a prestigious concert at the O2 is rightfully celebrated.

Broomgrove are equally enthusiastic about the community ethos of both the Junior and Infant school. News of the Colne Community School May Fair (15th May) is also mentioned.

WivSoc reports back on recent committee meetings, mainly covering planning, as well as a call to arms for more active local involvement. The incredibly community spirited Ellie Gornall writes about The Hub, Wivenhoe’s fantastic facility for young folk around the town.

Emma Cameron’s Vivid Gaze exhibition at Jardine is reviewed, as well as Guy Taplin’s recent retrospective as the Messum’s. “Wivenhoe’s alchemist of driftwood” is a fine working title for one to trade under.

Finally and Flying the Flag for Wivenhoe Folk Club reports on the successful move of the fine folkies up the road to The Flag for the monthly music sessions.

Wivenhoe News is sold at the Co-op, Crossways, the Post Office, Bryans Newsagents and the lovely Wivenhoe Bookshop.

The copy deadline for the next issue of Wivenhoe News is 1st May.

To the Town Council office on Monday evening for the monthly meeting of the Wivenhoe Town Council.

Cripes.

Relax, m’South London Comrades - WTC is largely apolitical, comprising of locally elected representatives who have the best interests of the town at heart.

Unlike, um…

Democracy and representation appears to be alive and well within Wivenhoe. Eight of our fine councillors were in attendance, with apologies from the absent three.

Perhaps even more poignant was the appearance of seven locals in the public galley (random chairs scattered around the room) and a couple of local Colchester Borough Councillors to provide updates for their patch.

This was the first meeting of WTC since the blatant act of vandalism by the Environment Agency on the vegetatation of the banks of the Colne. Mr Mayor, Brian Sinclair, was aware of the public interest and moved this item to the top of the agenda.

Mr Mayor, explaining the position of WTC on the Colne clearance, read out a brief statement:

“We have had lots of phone calls and conversations since the work started. Wivenhoe Town Council empathises with the feelings of residents who are deeply angered and upset with the Environment Agency.

We were aware that the work was planned, but no actual start date was given. Local information was limited to A4 sized posters appearing by the site. We have made enquiries with the Environment Agency about the work. This is part of a national policy.

If any residents which to take the matter further, we have provided some information slips [reproduced below...] There is nothing else that we can do as a town council - we have done all that we can.”

The welcome information slip states:

Dear Resident,

WTC are aware and concerned about the distress caused by the rapid clearance of the sea walls. We are unable to stop this national policy but if you width to complain to the EA, the contact is 01473 706 100, [email protected]

A quick click and a rational email explaining your concerns, and hopefully the strength of local opposition regarding the destruction of our natural beauty will be registered.

But for some within the meeting, the statement from WTC didn’t go far enough. Up stepped a local resident to address the council, and to explain some revealing background information that has emerged through dealing with the EA staff on site.

“The notices put up by the EA were not specific to Wivenhoe. The same notices have been posted at scores of places all over East Anglia. In the case of Wivenhoe the reasons offered by the EA for the vegetation clearance turn out to be spurious. There’s no problem with rabbits, and the supposedly troublesome roots are still in the ground. There’s no problem with inspections – the inspectors have already graded the different sections of the seawall, in drawing up the Shoreline Management Plan. And there’s no risk to people and property upriver – that’s what the Barrier is for, to protect us from a repeat of the 1953 flood tide – and downriver, the possible future flooding of the grazing marsh has already been planned for, as part of the policy of managed retreat.

So, what’s the real reason for the vegetation clearance?

Nick Purdie [EA official] says: Our ultimate aim is to reduce all the vegetation to short grass – even long grasses are a problem because they mask bare earth - and it’s ‘bare earth’ which makes seawalls vulnerable in the event of over-topping by a tidal surge.

So this policy is all about planning for a worst-case scenario – which may be fine when there’s a risk to people and property – but doesn’t make sense downriver, in the event of a major flood, when flooding the grazing marsh would actually be necessary to absorb the pressure of the tide.

Mr Purdie also stressed how serious they are about achieving this objective of reducing the flora on seawalls to a monoculture. They’re currently experimenting at specific locations in Alresford, Brightlingsea and elsewhere with intensive regimes of repeated cutting: twice or three times a year. And they’re developing new technologies to do this, pioneering mechanical strimmers attached to diggers, which can do the job better than humans.

There’s a lot of controversy throughout East Anglia surrounding the Environment Agency’s policy on flood defences, (mainly to do with coastal erosion and managed retreat). One of the main complaints is the Agency’s repeated failure to notify and consult. Local Essex and Suffolk MPs like Therese Coffey (Suffolk Coastal) John Whittingdale (Maldon) and Priti Patel (Witham) are well aware of this. I think it’s worth people writing, if they feel strongly about this, to Bernard Jenkin.

Our case is a strong one:

It’s about the democratic deficit – the shocking lack of consultation.

It’s about bureaucratic arrogance – the policy being applied to Wivenhoe is inappropriate and incoherent.

And it’s about cost. The EA are spending £750,000 on this.

Where people and property are not at risk, it’s the needs of local residents and wildlife which should take precedence over the schemes of bureaucrats.”

Blimey.

This was a damning report to WTC, delivered with great passion and eloquence. It appears too late for any action to prevent this first wave of destruction. I would wager that the Environment Agency is not in for such an easy ride when they next return to the banks of the Colne, bent on yet further environmental destruction.

In support of WTC, Mr Mayor recognised the concerns of the local resident, and asked for a copy of the fine speech to fully take on the local concerns.

The rest of the WTC meeting was always then going to be routine, if indeed debate about Cook’s, the Wivenhoe Woodwork Party and Mr Mayor’s stolen civic bicycle (blimey) can ever be described as routine.

But first, here are some words from the big boys and girls of Colchester Borough Council. I rather liked the approach of Wivenhoe residents having speaking rights ahead of our CBC friends.

Councillor Cory of Wivenhoe Cross ward addressed the meeting first:

“I have mainly been dealing with parking complaints. Students are usually to blame. I approach this problem methodologically. If cars are parked illegally then I contact the police. If it is inconsiderate parking then I attach a small flyer.

Potholes [aha!] are currently the bain of my life. The large hole by The Flag has now been filled in. Sadly it has now opened up again. I will keep on reporting this to Highways until it is fixed. I have asked why the CBC gritting policy doesn’t include estates and pavements.

There was an ASBO issue in my ward. I have been working closely with PCSO Neville, who has carried out some wonderful work to help resolve this. There are some drainage issues up towards Broomgrove. Anglia Water has been informed.”

Taking a walk downtown (and depending on your geographical point of view, either going upmarket or slumming it…) and next up was Councillor Quarrie of Wivenhoe Quay ward:

“We have just had the full budget meeting at CBC. We [the Conservative group] wanted to reduce the annual £150,000 funding for local councils. Sadly this was voted out.”

A written report from Councillor Julie Young of Essex County Council (so many layers of the political onion to peel away here in Wivenhoe) was then read out by Mr Mayor:

“With the failure of the pedestrian crossing by the Co-op to reach any conclusion, I have successfully lobbied for a new bus shelter to be built with the funds.

I am happy to report that no libraries will be closing in Essex. There will be reduced opening hours for some libraries, although Wivenhoe doesn’t appear to be affected.

The transport subsidy for parents whose children attend Faith schools will be reduced. This will impact on Wivenhoe parents who send their children to the Catholic school in Colchester. Families on low income will still receive support.

The full budget for Essex County Council is being set this week. Women’s Refuge and Alcoholics Anonymous look like having funding being withdrawn. We are making slow progress [arf!] with the 20mph speed zone for Wivenhoe.”

With the WTC meeting now racing through the agenda, hopes were high of catching the second half of the West Ham match back at base. Feedback was then provided on the various sub-committees that comprise WTC. You’d be hard pressed to find a better named committee anywhere in the land that can compete with out very own Wivenhoe Woodwork Party - oh yes…

A report on public transport produced great excitement (steady the buffers) with news of the new bus stops in Colchester. Amazingly the Wivenhoe bus stops are actually correct for once.

Questions were raised about whom is liasing with the fine May Fair folk regarding the traffic flow on the big day. Mr Mayor confirmed that a meeting is planned for later this week.

Other transport issues were then discussed, but sadly the Fog of Politics got in the way. A bit of CBC politico gossiping between our borough council friends in-between WTC contributions, and I couldn’t catch all of the details (transport matters - *not* CBC chitter chatter.)

No worries. On to Planning.

Oh Lordy…

Councillor Cyril Liddy updated WTC with recent applications. Changes to the front of the Royal British Legion have been submitted (supported by the good folk of WivSoc) as well as “various miscellaneous domestic applications.”

Of greater interest however is the continuing saga of Cook’s Shipyard. Councillor Liddy confirmed:

“The developer is now ready to move forward and wants to know when we can sign the lease. This is in the hands of the solicitors - we’re not actually ready yet.”

It seems that the developer has made a change to the original planning application regarding the five polyfunctional [urgh!] units. A change of use from A1 to A3 has been put forward. CBC has no objections. Once again the Fog of Politics prevented me from hearing further.

The Personnel Committee confirmed that WTC’s wonderful litter picker, Ray, has announced his plans for a well-deserved retirement. Mr Mayor praised Ray and his work with the highest regard, adding, “he will be impossible to replace.”

Hear, hear. It seems that everywhere I go around the town, Ray is always present. Has this man be cloned?

The Finance and Admin Committee reported that the WTC budget has been re-affirmed. Speaking of penny-pinching, with the imminent move of our local police team to the fire station, it was also confirmed that the WTC policy is to try and keep the old buildings in public use. Discussions are taking place as to how WTC can acquire them.

The Best Value Committee (not quite the best committee title, but close…) reported on the plan for WTC to purchase some basic IT equipment for planning purposes. This will allow submissions to be projected on to the wall, rather than shuffling around paper copies.

Still with us?

It was around this stage of the evening that I was in need of a comfort break. And with perfect timing, it’s only an update from the Working Party on the refurbishment of the ladies loos at the William Loveless Hall.

Oh Lordy.

Pleased to report that the marbled halls of female sanitary (um…) are on time and budget. A grand opening is expected in time for Mr Mayor’s Charity Ball next month. Hurrah!

Trumping the Best Value and the toilet updates was of course the Wivenhoe Woodwork Party. Nope - not a late night carpentry lock in at The Station, but valuable updates regarding the upkeep of Wivenhoe Wood. The bark (ouch) is worse than the bite - all is well within Wivenhoe Wood.

It was then wonderful to hear the highest praise coming the way of Wivenhoe youth facilities, and in particular, the re-launched Hub down at the Phillip Road Centre.

Tuesday evenings were reported as being a tremendous success. WTC credited the individuals involved, for growing such a fantastic facility out of so few resources. It was also noted on record how pleased WTC is to see a return of the Wivenhoe Youth Council. Mr Mayor is keen to involve this body in more formal visits to the Town Council offices.

A request has been from members of the Hub to extend the skateboard facilities at KGV. This is currently being considered by WTC.

Community Safety reported that crime in Wivenhoe is currently on the up.

Wwwwwwhat…?

Sleep safely at night my friends - all crime is bad crime, but don’t believe the hard data. Mr Mayor’s proud civic bicycle (re-cycled from a council skip, donchta know….) was only half-inched right outside The Greyhound.

The Scoundrels!

Councillor Penny Kraft fed back on the latest NAP meeting - more (much more over here...)

Finance then reported on the sale of some chairs from the William Loveless Hall. I think this is Dave’s #bigsociety in action, right on our Wivenhoe doorstep.

On Administration matters, plans are pressing ahead to abolish the Cross and Quay distinctions for WTC matters. This will not affect the CBC wards. With an increased workload, the plan is also to raise the number of (unpaid) WTC councillor’s from eleven to thirteen.

Did someone say an election is around the corner…?

And finally, back to Highways, which always seems to be something of a hot potato around Wivenhoe. Elmstead Road is due to close for essential gasworks for a period of five weeks. This will cover roughly the stretch from The Flag up to the football club.

The advance planning and publicity by the gas utility was praised by WTC as an example of how outside agencies *can* work successfully in partnership with local representatives and residents.

I think that’s the nearest that WTC will come to having a dig at the Environment Agency. Meanwhile, the diggers down at the Colne edge ever closer towards the old Crab ‘n Winkle line…