Surrey Vs the ‘Sex, The Oval (no one really gives a toss about the score tbh…)

To The Oval! …late Wednesday afternoon for the first outing of the new season with the ‘rrey.

A three day home fixture, and a friendly against the ‘Sex. Except matches against that lot from over the wrong side of the river are not always very friendly.

I arrived fashionably late; so much that I half expected the Umps to be putting the milk bottles out for the evening and making a hot water bottle.

I took up my place in the top tier of the Pavilion.

I was all alone.

I could just about make out the scoreboard showing the ‘Sex on 258-3. How any team can knock up such a score before Good Friday is beyond me. It looked like there was a frost at deep fine leg.

Make no mistake: this was a meaningless fixture. I did question what exactly I was doing at The Oval in late March. The alternative was housework back in the flat.

I settled down, and heard a couple of unenthusiastic appeals from the ‘rrey. It’s never a convincing look when the bowler still has his hands in his pockets as he asks the question of the official.

A layer of mist was clearly visible from high up in the Pavilion. The ever changing Vauxhall skyline looked like a scene out of Gotham City at night.

Closer to home was the new Peter May sun terrace. This is rising in spectacular fashion.

The traditional Peter May pisshead look of bare chest and sunburn was absent late on Wednesday afternoon.

And that was pretty much it.

All of the above detail was gathered during just one over of player.

The Umps took one look at the South London skyline and thought bugger this for a game of cricket.

They want off for the day.

Ta for coming, etc.

C’mon the ‘rrey!