Dulwich Hamlet 2, East Thurrock 2

To Transpontine del Curva! …on Saturday afternoon.

With tights!

Two pairs as well - him, not her.

It was bloody chilly out in SE22. What was needed was a small shot of something slightly stronger to reach the parts that Hamlet lager is unable to penetrate.

There has been much talk of late about the outdoor bar down at the Dulwich. I don’t think that the Rabble have been referring to the *ahem* pop-up effort that has emerged outside the entrance ahead of kick off.

Bag searches? At Champion Hill?

Blimey.

I’ve never personally understood the need to transform a 90 minute non-league football into a wall-to-wall vomiting session. That’s what the domestic cricket season is for at The Oval.

But each to their own.

I had to feel though for the young fellas stopped on entry, and politely reminded that brining in BOOZE is not part of the ground regulations.

You pay your money, you make your choice, chaps.

What this now means is that the paced piss up that has been taking place inside Champion Hill has now resorted to a sprint, as strong lagers are necked outside.

Classy.

Chin, chin etc.

I still remember fondly the days of the tomato soup flask back in the day.

Now that was living dangerously.

The visitors on Saturday were some slappers from Essex. It may - or may not - have been East Thurrock. I was too pissed to take any interest.

Only joking.

But once again, an afternoon down at the Dulwich has become more of a social gathering for me than non-league football tactical analysis.

Mishi was my first point of call. This was the case some 15 seasons ago.

We spoke of BOOZE, but both abstained. We also both missed the first goal from the Essex slappers.

Bugger.

A Brixton Buzz editorial meeting then took place opposite Toilets Opposite. Some of our best ideas are formulated whilst trying to capture snaps of Dulwich Hamlet divots.

And so 1-0 at half time to the away team, and the queue for the toilets [those being… opposite] were in danger of colliding with the queue for the club-sanctioned BOOZE pop-up bar.

It was an imaginative response to the water cycle.

Disco Darryl was one of the many who had patiently queued up to buy a paper beer token inside the clubhouse, and then attempt to exchange this for BOOZE back outside.

But the barrel had run dry.

Roll out the barrel, etc.

Instead Disco Darryl was fobbed off with what looked like a can of Coke attempting to be booze, but priced at £3.50 instead.

Something isn’t quite right down at the Dulwich right now.

The Essex slappers looked to be doing OK though. A cross come shot went straight into the top left-hand corner.

Ouch.

I needed a drink.

Talk then turned towards ground redevelopment. Disco Darryl pointed towards the proposed development by Toilets Opposite, just as the bloody lino standing in the exact same spot where future flats will stand, raised his flag to disallow a Dulwich goal.

The rotter.

A penalty claim for the Dulwich was then turned down.

Some you win, some you lose I thought as I sneaked out with five minutes to go to catch a train bound for Streatham.

The roar on the platform at East Dulwich as I was boarding hinted at a home goal. A tweet as I approached Tulse Hill told of unlikely tales of a late, late Hamlet equaliser.

I thought that Disco Darryl had been back on the booze again.

Edgar Kail in my heart, etc.

And sober.