LV CC Division Two, Chelmsford, Close, day one: Essex 228, Surrey 55-3
To the County Ground! …on Sunday morning. Via Sunny Colch, Witham and @surreycricket Royalty.
If there’s one way to overcome Greater Anglia Bank Holiday engineering woes then it is traveling CRICKET CLASS with a key member of the Surrey squad.
The Viscount kept us company on the 10:09 Surrey Express departing from the Essex badlands. Mighty fine company as well with tales of squad rotation, overseas players and groin injuries.
OUCH, etc.
The keen cricketer observer may have worked out that the departure time of the Surrey Express meant that The Viscount wasn’t fiddling around with his box for the start of the four day Championship match away to Essex.
The Viscount airplane wicket taking celebration was matched however somewhere between Witham and Chelmsford when we eves-dropped on the conversation from a couple of good old Essex boys en route to Chelmsford:
“That bloody Surrey team. Bunch of prima donnas. Overpaid, all of them. Who do they think they are?”
#wearetherey, etc, and the rather trim chap sitting behind you just happens to be a Championship bowler, Sir.
Whoops.
As predicted by the man without a cricketing box, this was a toss to win and have a knock. We arrived ever so fashionably late to see Surrey fielding and the Essex boys having a bat.
“The pavilion looks like a BAD Essex 70s pub”
…remarked Wifey.
Which must have been the cue for the first can of the day to be over enthusiastically opened in the Chelmsford sun.
Chin chin.
A few looks of disapproval from some of the Essex fellas sitting around me, and only then did I realise that we were sitting in the Tiptree Family Stand.
Start ’em young, I say.
The breakthrough came from Gareth Batty, who then took a second Essex wicket just ahead of luncheon. To save time and server space, I could just end the Crap Math Report here and programme in Goto Line whatever to summarise the story of the day.
Trad jazz was the soundtrack for the sausage roll eating session. I took this as an opportunity to explore the cultural delights of Chelmsford. Ten minutes later and I realised that Trad Jazz *is* the cultural delight of Chelmsford.
When in Essex, etc.
Another wicket for Batty in the first over after luncheon set up a familiar pattern.
“Even your big screen is tiny”
….remarked Wifey, showing little respect for the home surrounding, let alone the grammaticism of the English language.
The fourth wicket fell to Batty once again, with the home side looking like sitting ducks on 129-4. A local advertising banner best summed up the mood in the home pavilion:
Lucking and Sons - Your Local Funeral Director.
Batty’s fifer followed and soon it was nine before tea with Ansari taking a wicket to wipe out any hopes of a Batty ten-wicket haul.
Monty made a blink and you’ll miss it appearance at the crease. A swing and a miss. Ta for coming, fella.
Batty finished with brilliant bowling figures of 8-68, with Essex back in the hutch for 228.
A return leg of Witham and Colchester was on the cards. The Surrey Express was one man short for the return leg. The good old Essex boys were strangely silent.
C’mon the ‘rrey!