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LV CC Division One, Kia Oval, Close, day three: Derbyshire 219 & 231-7, Surrey 289

To The Oval! …on Saturday afternoon for Day 3 of the ‘rrey Vs Derbyshire in a Division One relegation battle. Oh woe when the lexicon of football crosses over into bat and ball. But there was no getting around this - whichever side loses this match is pretty much a gonner from the top table of County Cricket.

The urgency, excitement and expectation were too much for some. I arrived fashionably late after luncheon, with an Oval trip coming out the better over a coin toss and a reverse flip visit down to Champion Hill for Dulwich Hamlet.

Another day, Comrades…

Surrey were 84-2 as I made my catwalk appearance across the foot of the Peter May Stand. It takes a brave soul to stray into the South London spotlight on mid-afternoon on Day 3 of a Championship match. The Peter May boys are well oiled, and the ‘conversation’ flows at the same pace as the booze.

Bald patches, lycra tops, and salad dodging jibes - I’ve had them all over the years. Silence was golden for Saturday afternoon, meaning that the intensity of the cricket out in the middle must have been more pressing.

And yep - what a game.

This was no t20 SLOGFEST - and thank the chuffers for that - but an incredibly cagey cat and mouse set up involving one team that didn’t want to make any runs, and another that was equally unsure of its own ability to match such a low run rate.

Dontcha just LOVE County Cricket?

It has been rare to see Surrey take a Championship game beyond Day 3 this season - sadly for all the wrong reasons. But a pretty even first innings from both teams had reduced the game to a make or break two-day battle of nerves.

I took up my Peter May perch just in time to hear yet another ‘enthusiastic’ appeal from Tim Linley, buoyed having taken the wicket of Paul Borrington, the 150th first class victim for The Viscount.

What I LOVE about Linley is that he appeals for everything. He would even ask the Umps with some vigor for a drinks break, and then look disappointed when his appeal was turned down.

I had no similar issues in not agreeing to a drinks break - a bag of booze and a South London sun trap in which to sit and sip away.

Chin chin.

It was thirsty work watching Shivnarine Chanderpaul bat for the visitors. Make it to tea, seemed to be the message. I had similar ambitions, with a view to re-assessing the bag of booze stock come the short break in play.

The beauty of blogging is that you can Tell It Like It Is; which for Saturday afternoon meant two teams in South London playing out a County Championship relegation slug with not a lot of significant action taking place.

Caution was the order of the afternoon out in the middle. Slightly less so for the ‘rrey boys back in the Peter May.

Waiting patiently throughout this bore fest (you bounder!) was the BIG BOY. Nothing to do with toilet trips but the overlooked England BRUISER Chris Tremlett.

Yer man has grown a foot in positive, aggressive attitude to match his own physical measure over recent weeks. Tremlett waited patiently in the wings to be given the new ball, like Samson waiting for his locks to add a little length.

The drinks break broke the concentration [you sure?] of Derbyshire. The breakthrough came when Gareth Batty trapped Chanderpaul lbw for 14. Enjoy yer tea break, fella.

I pondered a piss out on The Oval wicket during the break ahead of the new ball and the return of Tremlett.

Careful - that will take your eye out, etc.

The BIG BOY did the business with Alex Hughes out lbw for 1. I ran out of juice on the iPad, but not so in the booze bag. The strategic switch was made from blogging to beer.

Tell It Like it Is, etc.

C’mon the ‘rrey!