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To the Town Council Office! …on Thursday evening. For the second time in two weeks as well.

Move to Wivenhoe, they said. Have some fun; sit around a Town Council chamber and talk about dog pooh.

Life in the fast lane, etc.

Thursday however was certainly a worthy occasion with the January meeting of the Wivenhoe Community Safety and Neighbourhood Watch Group. The agenda covered police reports, local issues and the traditional curtain closer of A.O.B.

But the theme for the evening was more of a probing discussion about Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Watch, what it stands for and what can be achieved.

It was as equally constructive as it was constraining.

The history here is that Wivenhoe Neighborhood Watch covers ALL of a Wivenhoe. That’s 10,000 plus residents, when the usual remit for most other schemes is for a local street. It’s not so much a curtain twitcher’s society, but a body that could - and should - have some real clout when it comes to community matters.

The Chair was as honest as to state that Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Watch currently holds little power:

“We are a talking shop that can hopefully bring together local politicians and the local police.”

A Gazette piece was passed around, covering the news story of how Nick Alston, the recently elected Police and Crime Commissioner for Essex wants more residents to play a role in helping his police force.

Oh the irony of Wivenhoe Neighborhood Watch meeting on the exact same day that the top cop proposed a 3.5% policing precept increase on local Council Tax bills, but fewer Bobbies on the beat to show for it.

The Chair continued:

“We have a sense of frustration, even alienation. We listen to people but we want to extend our profile further in Wivenhoe.”

With The Gazette headline rolling out the We Want You mantra, it was resolved that Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Watch would return the favour to the new Police and Crime Commissioner and invite him to Wivenhoe.

What exactly does he want from Wivenhoe?

And more importantly - what can he offer in return?

“We feel unsupported by the police”

…was another view that was shared around the table.

The agenda then covered the true value of Neighbourhood Watch. Cllr Neil Lodge of Wivenhoe Town Council reported back on a recent firstsite conference covering Integrated Offender Management.

This is a scheme being rolled out across the County with the broad aim of rehabilitation by bringing the different agencies together. ECC, CBC, the probation service, the police, youth offending teams - even Neighbourhood Watch schemes.

The concept is that a community approach might hopefully lead to reduced levels of re-offending. [email protected] is hopefully but a click away if you want to find out more.

Crime is of course relative, which brings us back to Wivenhoe and what is seen as a low level of offences being committed. Local reports covered a couple of assaults in the past month and the theft of a bicycle.

The volunteer led Speed Watch scheme was also addressed. This is where speeding cars are logged on specific routes. January has been busy it seems. One particular half hour session saw twelve cars being caught doing 40mph plus coming down Alresford Road.

The meeting concluded much in the same way that it started with a conversation about what Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Watch wants to achieve. Better communication with the local police was agreed to be a possible way forward.

To bring out over a dozen or so local residents on a Thursday evening to talk about their concerns has to be seen to be a positive move. With little publicity and little clout, the alternative of not turning up at all would be defeatist.

The next meeting of Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Watch is 28th February at 7:30pm in the Town Council Office.

Participation leads to progress is the theory…

To the Congregational Hall! …on Monday evening for some Gilbert and Sullivan.

Now there’s an opening sentence that I wasn’t expecting to type.

Following an extremely kind invite from Mary Williamson of the Wivenhoe G & S Society, I was given an access all areas [Oooh] role to see how the rehearsals for Anything Goes are shaping up.

listen to ‘#Wivenhoe G & S Director Mary explains more about the 2013 production of Anything Goes’ on Audioboo

I entered the Congregational Hall with a back up plan of feigning tonsillitis and the inability to sing. I departed just over an hour later kicking my heals as I danced back down the High Street, and joyfully declaring ANYTHING GOES! …to a poor passing old boy that popped out to buy some milk.

It was infectious stuff, right from the start of the session through until the much needed gasp of a coffee break. They don’t hang around these charming G & S types - lungs open, feet foxtrotting and even some innuendos that would have made the previous occupants in the panto crowd blush underneath all that make up.

Ah - speaking of which…

It was wonderful to see so many familiar faces from Monsters Rock. Straight outta pantomime and then thrust back on to the stage for some Cole Porter. Best make sure you don’t get the scripts confused, folks.

Or even the name of the production.

Don’t be fooled by the name - the Wivenhoe Gilbert and Sullivan Society will be performing Anything Goes by Cole Porter come early spring. The decision was taken a few years ago to mix up the G & S after the complete repertoire had been performed.

Every other year invites a similar period piece to be staged. For 2013 this means that P.G. Wodehouse’s ocean liner antics, as set to music by Mr. Porter, gets the Wivenhoe G & S treatment.

Let’s a hope that it’s a sizeable ocean liner by the time the show opens at the William Loveless Hall [where else?] on the 16th March - the cast numbers forty plus.

It was wonderful to see so many folk coming together in the Congregational Hall to help put on the show. Mary later told me that no auditions are involved, apart from the principle roles. If you fancy putting yourself on the stage - and aren’t prone to feigning tonsillitis - then you’re in.

Monday was all about Act 2.

“Prepare for all manner of mistakes”

…I was warned. I wasn’t quite sure if this was a semi-serious comment, or keeping in with the flirtatious theme of the show.

“Let’s start with the Public Enemy song!”

…came the next stage instruction.

Steady the buffers.

Oh, I see.

Any musical call to arms made by a Long Island hip-hop collective could easily be matched by the ladies and gents of the Wivenhoe Gilbert and Sullivan Society. The New York accents were in place, and they didn’t appear corny in the Congregational Hall setting either.

“We’re going to bypass the dance…”

Phew.

No need to feign a broken leg, either.

Anything Goes is an incredibly fast-paced production. The experienced and not so experienced members of the cast have clearly got a great communal spirit amongst them. All levels of talent are in the production. No one was left alone.

Snake Eyes has now become my personal role model from now until mid-March.

With less than two months before show time, the scripts were lurking, but rarely called upon. This is a challenging production.

Oh - and it’s very playful. I’d wager that the Wivenhoe Congregational Hall has never seen so much frisky fun for a Monday evening. It’s Strictly Come Cole Porter with a New York / North Essex twist - which is something that you are unlikely to see on London’s glittering West End stages.

I’m not giving away too many secrets when I say that Anything Goes concludes with that high kicking showstopper. You’ll be stretching your legs and politely making contact with the punter sitting in front of you come the opening night at the Willie H Hall.

The Wivenhoe Gilbert and Sullivan Society will be staging Anything Goes from Tuesday 13th - Saturday 17th March at the William Loveless Hall. Tickets will go on sale from 11th February.

But that’s just a good enough reason to return for a second G & S blog post.

Many thanks to all for such open access.

No tonsillitis next time.

listen to ‘#Wivenhoe G & S Society Rehearsals 1’ on Audioboo

listen to ‘#Wivenhoe G & S Society Rehearsals 2’ on Audioboo

To the William Loveless Hall! [where else?] …on Wednesday evening for the opening night of Monsters Rock, the 2013 production from the Wivenhoe Pantomime Group.

A force of habit almost led to a premature Panto moment and shooting my load at the Congregational Hall. The cast and crew have come an incredibly long way since those fag end of summer early rehearsals just up the road from the Willie H.

Monsters Rock is a unique Made in Wivenhoe experience. You won’t see anything like it anywhere else.

Nope - you really WON’T SEE ANYTHING LIKE IT ANYWHERE ELSE.

Written and Directed by Sara Rout, the family show is set in the village of Little Happens. The superb scenery may *or may not* resemble some similarities with a certain hyperlocal North Essex estuary setting, but that’s for you to decide, Comrades.

From the show opener of Wake Up Boo [blimey] through to the Blues Brothers happy ending, Monsters Rock runs through the Willie H with enough energy to power a small fictional town.

If this don’t turn you on then you ‘ain’t got no switches.

The story concerns the village people [NO, not *those* Village People, etc] and the Monsters that live on the other side of the enchanted forest.

Der Der Derrr… As one of the many Monsters Rock catchphrases never tires of reminding us.

Never the twain shall meet, that is until lead boy Sam and his bride to be Bella do a runner to escape the evil Boris Blackheart.

If you go down to the woods today…

Deep breath:

You’re in for ahelluva surprise with talking trees, a mummified Yummy Mummy, a werewolf, Frankenstein and his bride, a bonkers lab assistant, a hound, Bones the skeleton, skeleton dancers and a bass playing Dracula.

Blimey.

It is the second half of the show when the two sides do the meet ‘n’ greet that Monsters Rock really comes to life. Monster Mash is most magnificent, allowing each character to introduce their own eerie traits.

Elsewhere in the show and back on the other side there is similar superb acting. Shane Diggens and Zoe Mayhew as the leading pair are perfect for this role. A single show could almost be scripted around their on stage chemistry and singing duets.

Peter McDonagh is genuinely grotesque as Dame Dotty, a ten-ton BONKERS aunt dressed conservatively in the style of a Victorian candy shop.

Don’t fancy yours much, etc.

The alter ego of Lottie to Dotty is equally as, um, seductive.

The jokes come as quick as the scene changes - fast paced and hitting all the right Panto expectations. Tesco burgers were a particular highlight.

The music for Monsters Rock hits all the right Panto punches as well. Joint Musical Directors Nick White and Greg Smith have put together a tight live band that means that you leave the Willie H still singing the songs.

Audience participation is not obligatory, but you find yourself drifting into the role. The Monster Hakka / Macarena was a particular highlight.

Add in the spectacular costumes, and even the addition of glow sticks [gosh] for the audience, and Monsters Rock does more than justice to the Made in Wivenhoe celebratory claims.

THIS IS Wivenhoe Panto Week.

Catch Monsters Rock at the Willie H through until Saturday evening. Tickets should still be available for all performances, apart from the Saturday afternoon matinee.

There’s no better way of beating the winter blues than receiving your personalised delivery of The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle. Scoop Scarpenter has been braving the TEN FOOT snow drifts [sorta], busy once again serving Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe and Nearby Villages.

I live in hope that Nearby Villages is some form of hyperlocal euphemism.

Plain sense in the p1 headline of:

Locals Club Together to Purchase Pub

I’ll drink to that, etc:

“A determined [Ooooh] effort is being made by a local group of pub enthusiasts to purchase and reopen the historic Black Buoy at Wivenhoe, which has now been closed for three months.

At present there are 25 shareholders involved in the venture, 20 of whom live in Wivenhoe. Punch Taverns, who own the property are asking £350,000 for the building, and The Chronicle understands that at the moment the local group have raised £300,000.”

Twenty residents? Live locally? I’d slap a Right to Bid listing request in ASAP with CBC. That should buy six extra months to make up the £50k shortfall. Any benefactor wanting to help the Black Buoy group can contact John Moores on 07958 471703.

Flick to p.6 and transport yourself via the medium of inky pages up to The Cross, and the Chronicle reports:

New Tennis Clubhouse

No Right to Bid necessary, etc:

“The new clubhouse at the Wivenhoe Tennis Club was recently officially opened.”

Club coach Jamie Bird continues to work wonders with racket and yellow fluffy ball. The junior section is thriving, and the men’s team topped Division 1 of the Colchester and District Tennis League last season.

Keep flick, flick flicking and soon you will find:

Residents Invited to Assist Council

Which is a headline that is always good to read.

“Wivenhoe Town Council would be pleased to hear from any local residents or local organisations who would like to join a steering group to assist with the preparation of a neighbourhood plan.”

‘Cos it’s always best to be a back seat driver, or something, Comrades.

“Cllr Robert Needham told The Chronicle: Clearly the preparation of a neighbourhood plan will need to involve the community at large. The process will most likely take a couple of years and will need input from interested people, groups and societies.”

Wivenhoe is full, blah, blah, blah.

And hopefully the same will be said for The Flag on 7th February when the Wivenhoe Folk Club welcomes Kirsty McGee. Doors at 7:30pm for the twice-nominated BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards singer.

Sticking with the stage and Scoop Scarpenter triumphs with the headline of:

Monsters Rock

Wivenhoe Pantomime week is upon us - hurrah!

“Some great family entertainment can be expected when the Wivenhoe Pantomime Group perform Monsters Rock at the William Loveless Hall [where else?] from 23rd - 26th January. The storyline centres around the inhabitants of a village, Little Happens, and a castle the other side of the forest, frequented by monsters.”

MADE UP LOCATION, etc.

Phew.

Back in the real world and Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Watch meets on 31st January, 7:30pm in the Town Council Office. New members, etc, etc. In it to win it. Or even just be represented.

The Funny Farm also gets the p.11 treatment ahead of the 31st January gathering at the Cricket Club:

“Headliner will be Sol Bernstein, described by The Graun as being: One part Alf Garnett, two parts Mel Brooks, and three parts like nothing you’ve ever heard.”

Clever folk, these Graun types.

Sticking with the words and poetrywivenhoe gets a plug for 24th January when Luke Wright returns to The Legion:

“Described as being as popular stand-up poet [which helps...] Luke Wright will be the guest artiste [Ooooh] at the next meeting of poetrywivenhoe.”

And that folks should fill your Chronicle desires until February.

No mention of Nearby Villages either.

It’s here!

Hurrah!

Which must also mean than the semi-strict photo embargo for Monsters Rock can be lifted. Book, cover etc - the show is just as stunning as the costumes and set.

Tickets should still be available for all shows at the Loveless Hall [where else?] from 23rd - 26th January, apart from the Saturday afternoon matinee.

Both Post Offices and the Crossways Store should see you right for £6.

Showtime!

To the Town Council Office! …on Monday evening for the first Wivenhoe Town Council meeting of the New Year.

Should Old Acquaintance be forgot?

EVENING, Comrades!

But not a secret handshake in sight from any of our four Borough Cllrs, or the Essex County Council representative. Apologies were received from Cllrs Steve Ford, Cyril Liddy, Jon Manning and Julie Young.

Likewise for Cllrs Ian Endean and Brian Sinclair of WTC.

Which was all something of a shame as the theme for Monday evening was very much the political food chain and who gets to hand out the scraps left at the bottom of the pile.

BLAME 13 years of a Labour government; BLAME ideological attacks on the poor by the Tory led coalition. BLAME Colchester Borough Council passing the buck (but not bucks) and leaving it to the hyperlocal level to sort out the collapse of western capitalism.

Blimey.

But, first, what of the possible re-opening of a town HARD?

WTC heard a fine presentation from Ben Bradley of the WivGigs rowing club:

“Why does Wivenhoe need a public hard? Access to the river is currently limited to the few. Many people would use a public hard if it was available. Brightlingsea and Rowhedge both have access - why can’t we?

I accept that historically the old hard has been a political fighting point. We need to put a line through this and build a new facility.

Which site is the most realistic - Bethany Street or Cook’s? There has been local opposition at Bethany Street. Plus we need to ask who would pay for this facility at Cook’s. I propose a public / private partnership. It would need to be kept clean. A wooden slipway would work best. I would like to set up the Wivenhoe Hard Association.”

Madam Mayor stated:

“You have asked a lot of questions. I will answer what I can.”

A statement was then read out from Cllr Brian Sinclair, which broadly backed the wooden slipway raised above the water at the Cook’s site.

Telling however was:

“Wivenhoe Town Council does not have the manpower, or the finance for this.”

It all comes back to the wonga, Comrades.

Cllr Albey Stinson added:

“Providing that there is no expense and no future expense for Wivenhoe Town Council, I propose that you come back at a later date and we can support you.”

A vote was taken anyway, with ten in favour of supporting the Wivenhoe Hard Association, and one abstention.

Some slight confusion with the availability of the agenda sheet, but the item covering Points Raised by Members of the Public didn’t include a previously submitted question from Marika Footring.

No worries.

Marika was present and was able to put forward her question again:

“I request the publication as part of the Council’s meeting minutes of detailed financial reports or, if this is not possible, for the reasons for this to be minuted.”

Madam Mayor answered:

“This would create extra work for the Town Clerk. We can discuss at the next meeting if these can be included quarterly.”

Marika added:

“This would help residents to understand better the decisions taken by Wivenhoe Town Council.”

Reports that were available however included the written submissions from Cllrs Young, Liddy and Ford.

Cllr Young highlighted:

“I have been dealing with parental complaints about Cedric Coaches. An unannounced inspection took place recently. Cedric was found to be compliant. Improvements must be seen however.

I have been chasing the progress on the cycle path at the University. Work should soon commence on this.

Finally there is a meeting of the Wivenhoe Health Group this Friday.”

Yer man Bernie is IN, btw…

A joint submission from Cllrs Liddy and Ford included questions being asked about the Environment Agency’s policy on opening and closing the Colne barrier.

Madam Mayor commented that the Town Council has sent a wish list to all four Borough Cllrs regarding how to spend the £2k ward sweetener from CBC. No reply has yet been received, apparently.

Transport Correspondent Peter Kay then added in a little more background on Cedric:

“The Vehicle Operation and Standards Agency has a better remit on safety than routes. Cedric is not a cowboy.

Plus:

I have re-written my annual piece on price fares for travelling from Wivenhoe to Liverpool Street.”

A day return to Enfield Town still gets the wink and the nod, thank you very much.

Also:

“There has been a deterioration in the use of the 61 and 62 bus since the opening of the new bus station [that isn't really a bus station]. Magdaeln Street bus depot is too cramped. Buses can’t be shunted - they aren’t on the correct route.”

Planning matters covered Cook’s and the plans for a restaurant by Lexden Development (no residential units included), the University Science Park (concern that a piece of land that was understood not to be for development now appears to be) and residential parking down at Cook’s.

The Town Council voted unanimously to suggest a policy to Essex County Council that no waiting spaces are allocated when the road is adopted. It was pointed out that most residents already own their own private parking space.

Sticking with the old shipyard and Cllr Kevin Read was able to update that Taylor Wimpey should be able to hand over the dingy park and the car park to WTC in “the next 4-6 weeks.”

A cursory glance down the agenda it seems that next up was the Report of the Finance and Administration Committee, which met on 9th January to set the precept for Wivenhoe.

Cllr Neil Lodge spoke:

“This has been a long and difficult time for us all. We have had to take into account the cuts from Colchester Borough Council. We are responsible for five parts of Cook’s. We have prepared a budget around this. We have made a recommendation for the new precept.”

All those in favour?

Passed unanimously.

Hang on - that’s it?

No debate or explanation was offered on how the decision was reached to add 37p per week for Wivenhoe residents in a Band D property. The December WTC meeting heard from Cllr Lodge that five possible scenarios had been planned. Members of the public had turned out to the January meeting to specifically hear how this decision was reached.

It was a blink and you’ll miss it 30-second moment.

And so #Wivenhoe Town Council had ZERO debate on new precept. Proposed by Madam Mayor, agreed unanimously, ticked off agenda in 30 secs.

— Jason_Cobb (@Jason_Cobb) January 21, 2013

…which also led to a ‘constructive debate’ and much finger pointing in the chamber once the meeting had closed.

Jabbety jab. Jabbety jab. Jabbety Jabbety Jabbety jab.

OUCH.

For the record: the Finance and Administration Committee has put a lot of work into setting the budget. The role of Full Council is to listen to the recommendations, and then where necessary, to ask questions.

No questions were asked, time to move on.

Nothing to see here.

It was all above board, but requests to attend the Finance and Administration Committee from members of the public were later refused.

How do we find out how these decisions are reached then?

To the credit of Cllr Lodge, he then offered up the private minutes for public viewing. But this was only after the public meeting had closed.

The Governance Toolkit for Parish & Town Councils [SEXY], as supported by the Society of Local Council Clerks, the Standards Board for England and the Local Government Association states [p.37]

“Reports should be circulated at the same time as the agenda and made available to the public, unless they include confidential matters that would justify the exclusion of the press and public at the meeting. This enhances the transparency of the council’s decision making and improves local knowledge of its activities.”

WTC is to be applauded in finally ditching the Best Value Committee last year, a move that was seen to create more transparency. Best Value was viewed by most as the real talking shop of WTC, a private meeting where policy is formulated. The plan was for Full Council to now include debate.

But not for Finance it seems.

When you find yourself sitting at the brutal end of the political food chain and being shat on from high (ish) up above, engaging [URGH] with residents on how you are handling the situation would help.

A newsletter is apparently being prepared.

As for fixing the roof while the sun shines?

Not quite, but the William Loveless Hall [where else?] has a few roof and boiler issues.

Back to true localism and Cllr Bob Needham encouraged residents to attend the Right to Bid meeting at the Town Council on 30th January at 11am.

The Diamond Jubilee Gardens Working Group reported that a decision is expected from Cory Environmental on Thursday regarding the re-submitted application.

And then a final notice that Brook Street will be closed for five days from 23rd January whilst BT goes about its business.

The ‘constructive debate’ continued in the boozer a little later.

Jabbety jab. Jabbety jab. Jabbety Jabbety Jabbety jab.

Chin chin, Comrades.

To the William Loveless Hall! [where else?] …briefly on Sunday afternoon for a quick catch up with the Wivenhoe Pantomime Group as they prepare for the Wednesday opening of Monsters Rock.

An army of backstage hands has been busy since Thursday transforming the ‘challenging performance space’ into something that wouldn’t look out of place just off Shaftsbury Avenue.

Seriously.

Lights! Camera! Action!

…it’s all there.

The setting for Sunday was the technical rehearsal. We all know that the lovely Luvvies of the Pantomime Group are all geared up for the worldwide premier of Monsters Rock on Wednesday evening. But what of the button pushers and plonky plonky musical folk?

We were about to find out.

Y’see the thing about the ‘incredibly challenging performance space’ of the Congregational Hall is that it rather limits the staging of a mini-music festival in mid-town Wivenhoe. Up the stakes to the Willie H and you can whack the amps up to 11.

It was a pivotal moment in hyperlocal folklore, on par with Dylan going electric at the Manchester Free Trade Hall back in ’68.

“I don’t believe you,”

…etc.

Just wait until SHOWTIME on Wednesday evening, Comrades.

And so on Sunday afternoon the pretty picturesque wintery postcard scene of Wivenhoe had a welcome addition: Dracula prancing around the stage with 1000W being beamed at him and the soundtrack of Monster Mash being played out to perfection by a live band.

Blimey.

Add in the superb scenery backdrop via Sarah Smith and hey! I think they’ve got themselves a show.

Almost…

It has been uplifting - and incredibly kind and trusting - to see the transformation of this production behind the scenes. It started off during the fag end of the summer at the Congregational Hall. And here we are as we enter Wivenhoe Pantomime Week with a show that wouldn’t look out of a place on the semi-pro circuit.

I’m still sticking with the strict (ish) costume embargo until the dress rehearsal this Tuesday. The make up embargo however was never mentioned…

The rehearsal itself had a few little stop / start moments. This was all about the tech side of the show and how the many helping hands can translate their skills into the wider Willie H setting.

The cast were in incredibly fine form; from the primary schools kids of Wivenhoe through to those that perhaps make a weekly trip to the Post Office on a Wednesday morning to have their pension books rubber-stamped.

There was a genuine sense of excitement that something quite special has been created in the community. Backstage was buzzing, all except Frankie Frankenstein, sitting in character, deep in thought and pondering his part.

You’ll be ACE, fella.

And so [deep breath...] the musos, the script readers, the prompters, stage manager, sound guys, lighting crew, front of house lovely folk and catering [oh yes] - the tech rehearsal on Sunday was all about making sure that Monsters Rock receives the production skills that it deserves.

A polite reminder that if you are perhaps fitting of the demographic that makes a weekly trip to the Post Office on a Wednesday morning, you are very kindly invited to enjoy for FREE the dress rehearsal on Tuesday evening at 7:30pm.

And then the Wivenhoe Pantomime Group hits the heights with Monsters Rock running from Wednesday through until Saturday evening. Tickets are still available for Wednesday and Thursday at both Post Offices and Crossways.

You won’t see anything like this anywhere else.

Nope - YOU REALLY WON’T SEE ANYTHING LIKE THIS ANYWHERE ELSE.

It is a unique Made in Wivenhoe production that is unlike any other panto production. Catch it at the Willie H before the Shaftsbury Avenue runs comes-a-begging.

listen to ‘.@wivenhoepanto Director Sara Rout looks forward to #Wivenhoe Panto Week’ on Audioboo

listen to ‘.@wivenhoepanto Joint Music Director @NickWhiteJ3 on Tech Rehearsal Day’ on Audioboo