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And so here is the companion piece to the Hythe Ghost Town blog post previously featured around these parts. It seems that the old industrial face of Colchester is ageing by the day now. It can’t be long until the old girl disappears and gives way to some bright new thing. Expect the words development and lifestyle to feature strongly.

What first appeared as the perhaps the slowest site removal team to ever take to the yellow hard hats, has since stepped up its game since the January snow finally disappeared. Numbers have doubled from two, to four, and then again to eight, with a new sense of urgency given to getting rid of the once industrial heartbeat of the Hythe. There is glorious irony in increasing the pace to pull it all apart.

The storage sheds have been stripped of any metal worth salvaging, and then the bare bones of the site have been left exposed. The vultures are circling Coldock. A skeletal frame will soon be all that is left after years of toil and labour down by the muddy banks of the Colne.

One great obstacle remains however, with the Coldock loading bay still standing. The old loading bay handle has been amputated; the body of the girl is proving a little more resilient to giving up the ghost. It may not be appreciated locally with the same architectural iconic status that is now reserved for the brutalism of the University Towers, but it is still a landmark along this side of town.

Ah yes, about the near neighbour of the University, now the new industry around the town with the Knowledge Gateway replacing centuries of cargo passageway along the Colne. With Coldock pre-dating the University, a fresh panorama of Wivenhoe Park has now been opened up for the first time in fifty years. Stand along Haven Road with your back along Whitehall Road, and the campus comes into view, free of the obstruction of Coldock.

Progress. Of sorts.

Time and tide wait for no man; or even new knowledge based academic. But it seems that the Hythe has one last trick up its sleeve ahead of the expectant Conflict Resolution that the University will soon be packaging up and selling around the world. The Gazette is reporting that a ferry service from Brightlingsea down towards the Hythe is being planned. A working boat down by the muddy banks? Whatever next? A Quayside Cafe that is kept open?

Across the Colne and the future of a relatively new landmark on the hyperlocal horizon is far from secure. The popular Quayside Cafe at King Edward Quay is facing closure after the University of Essex decided to shift it on to the Wivenhoe Park campus.

The University is proposing to transform the space into a student common room for the start of the summer term. The concern from many locals who use the cafe as a stop off point along the Wivenhoe Trail is that it will eventually be lost to further accommodation.

Cllr Julie Young of St Andrew’s ward has been meeting with Estate staff at the University to try and come up with a solution. Cllr Jon Manning of Wivenhoe Cross has started a petition to try and keep the Quayside cafe open. Recent developments suggests that the University *may* be up for a U-turn, if an outside interest is prepared to take on the facility and no doubt all the financial implications. Where money once flowed along the Colne now lays caution and guarded de-construction.

You could almost pen an academic essay about it with a similar working title.

Preserving the industrial and social history of locations around the town as they start to disappear is incredibly important. A digital reminder can’t make up for the real lives memories, but once it’s gone, it’s gone. Bridge House just down from Coldock is already reduced to nothing but rubble and memories. Given the recent increase in activity by the hard hat wearers, another piece of hyperlocal history down by the Hythe won’t be hanging around for too long.

To the Philip Road Centre! …on Saturday evening for the Moving Image screening of Drive.

“Is it a film about driving?”

…asked the ever-observant @AnnaJCowen. Oh the temptation to tell the Girl that it was a West Coast re-interpretation of Mutiny on the Busses. Which is sort of true, if Butler and the boys had a fixation with extreme violence played out to a retro synth-pop soundtrack.

I’ll get you, Butler.

Blimey.

Screening Drive was quite a gamble by Moving Image. Most of the season so far in 2012 has sort of been like that. There can’t be many films that can be described as characteristically un-Wivenhoe.

Set in downtown LA, the constant sirens, burger joints and extreme profanity are not something that you often see down by the muddy banks of the Colne.

Well, two out of three ‘aint bad.

Maybe that is the appeal of Moving Image, in offering a form of escapism from a sleepy North Essex estuary town? I’m struggling to find any films that portray belly dancing on the local village hall stage.

Described as “a car chase that goes a bit wrong” (…by @AnnaJCowen) Drive was a very difficult film to watch. Truth be known and I came close to retiring to The Greyhound halfway through, such was the distress and pained scenes involved (the film, and not a half shandy at The Greyhound.)

But we persisted, if for nothing else then for the too cool for school synth-pop soundtrack. I’m sure that the old school building down at the Philip Road Centre has witnessed many musical moments down the years, but a joyful blast of Kavinsky & Lovefoxxx (nope, me neither) must have been a bit different from primary school recorder practice back in the day.

The medium is the message, I tried to reassure @AnnaJCowen as another head was violently stamped into oblivion, all the to the beauty of some dreamy soundscape electronica (which sorta makes it alright.) Violence as cathartic release, ‘n all that. I’ll take it out on the teddy bear back at base, the little bastard.

Woh. Yeah, violence tends to bring out the beast in the man. It also brought out the Moving Image masses, of sorts. Not a sell out, but at least a break even evening. We calculated on the short walk home that we have seen more films at Moving Image in the past eighteen months than the final five years of South London living.

“I still reckon Purple Rain should make an appearance,”

…I reasoned with @AnnaJCowen, tightening my grip on her hand as a cathartic release from not being allowed into The Greyhound for a half shandy.

“There’s no violence in that.”

Apart from the wife beating, the forced ritual of sexual initiation, songs about dieing 4 u, etc.

Best stick with On the Busses.

To the William Loveless Hall! [where else?] …on Friday evening for the esteemed production of the Mayor’s Variety Show, 2012. One week you’re watching a highly professional company tread the boards of the Loveless Hall, and the next you’re rolling around with the amateurs. Private Resistance wasn’t bad for an amateur production…

Boom boom.

“What if we are the oldest here?”

…asked @AnnaJCowen, not unknown herself to slap on the stage make-up and perform something of a song and dance - and that’s just for a quiet evening in.

“What if we are the youngest?”

…came the reply.

In reality and we met somewhere halfway in the middle. This was a truly inclusive Wivenhoe show, with the audience age range reflecting the many diverse theatrical talents that the town is able to boast. Proud grandparents shared seats with equally proud kids. This was the Generation Game with greasepaint.

Didn’t Mr Mayor do well?

Ah yes, what of our host for the evening, Mayor Needham and his amazing Union Flag shirt? It’s the way he tells them, y’know, something that I have long since said after sitting through a Wivenhoe Town Council Finance Committee report.

Comedy is all about timing and posturing. Which must explain the presence of bunting in the Loveless Hall, with the Wivenhoe finger being figuratively raised towards Essex County Council and the H & S brigade. A ban on bunting? Whatever next? Respected local civic figures putting on the pinnies and performing a mop head routine?

Oh Lordy.

The Mop Heads included two WTC councillors and the good Town Clerk, skipping around the stage with their dusters like Morris Men on a domestic day out. Those William Loveless Hall damage deposits don’t stretch like they use to.

Keeping it equally tight was Funky Voices, a local singing troupe that added a bit of the X Factor to the Loveless Hall. They may be oldies (sort of) but they were certainly goodies. Foot tapping and even a spontaneous Whoop! could be heard from the floor of the Loveless Hall. I trust smiling Cllr Ford enjoyed his show.

A fight scene followed. Nope - it wasn’t chucking out time at an unnamed local boozer, but a couple of highly agile local theatrical types, turning the Loveless Hall into a Hollywood movie stunt set. Which takes quite some doing, I’m sure you can appreciate. Here’s hoping that the Essex County Council H & S types weren’t invited along for the evening.

Making a grand theatrical entrance, um, from out of a pirate chest, and looky looky here - it’s only Shane Diggens and his incredible baritone voice booming around the old building. In a show that has been dubbed (by some) as Wivenhoe’s Got Talent, this was perhaps the part of the performance where no one needed convincing. Shane could hold his own on most stages, from the good ‘ol Loveless Hall to perhaps something slightly more upmarket along Shaftsbury Avenue. Star quality.

As is Dennis Free with an incredibly moving solo spiritual performance. There was slight confusion from @AnnaJCowen, who mistook the crooning Dennis for Dennis Stratton, ex-Iron Maiden guitarist who is booked in to the Loveless Hall for next month. Talent spotting was never high on the girl’s agenda.

And then one moment you are appreciating a beautiful Harry Seacombe style performance, and then the next you are gazing at a young madam’s navel and some belly dancing.

Blimey. How did that happen?

The Loveless Hall has witnessed many Woh! moments over the years, but the Didi Belly Dance routine hit the spot for me. I shouted out MORE! for an encore, only to be given a stern stare from Mr Mayor.

And @AnnaJCowen.

Whoops.

The calming (and comedy) moment then came from firm Wivenhoe favourite, Joan Gifford. Is there anyone in Wivenhoe who hasn’t seen Joan perform? Is there anyone who isn’t left with a huge grin and genuine appreciation for such a charming lady who continues to impress? The whole audience joined in the MORE! chants this time, but time is tight for a talent show that boasts many skills to showcase. You can usually catch Joan at the Wivenhoe Folk Club floor nights.

The Celebrity Babies were a charming bunch of young chaps, hand-picked by Mr Mayor from the theatrical breeding ground that is Millfields School. Thrust upon the stage and thrust into stardom, it looks like Wivenhoe might have found its own boy band. No miming, either.

Which is also something that could be said of Vince Rayner (no miming, and definitely no the boy band ambitions, either) Fresh off the bench of the Colchester Magistrates Court, Vince went down to eyeball his audience. Betcha that is something he gained from back in the day job.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or sit back rigid at his jokes, fearful that a night in the cells may be my fate if I found something funny in all the wrong places. A Wivenhoe Funny Farm spot awaits. Natural comic timing, and some punch lines that the charming young chaps of the Celebrity Babies probably didn’t quite understand.

The magnificent Colne Bank School of Dancing bought the first Act to a close, once again venturing out into the audience with a dance and a smile. This is a polished dance troupe, and all based and trained in Wivenhoe as well. With dance exams taking place early the next morning, the Mayor’s Variety Show was the last minute prepping ahead of being assessed.

I think that the girl’s will be all right on the night. Or even in the morning.

A brief break to catch up with what had just passed, and then Act II of Wivenhoe’s Got Talent was back with us. A second turn from most of the previous performers followed. Funky Voices converted me from my aversion to Queen and all things Freddie with a well-sequenced medley. Joan delighted yet again, and magician Peter Reilly managed to magic money out of thin air - something that is also known as a meeting of the WTC Finance Committee.

Mr Mayor proved that it’s not all about gold chains and civic formalities. His Jake the Peg routine is something that you are unlikely to see Boris Johnson strutting around at City Hall performing, which is the very reason why Wivenhoe’s Got Talent and London needs a kick up the backside. Preferably with Mr Mayor’s extra third leg as well.

Fireworks (of sorts) finished the Mayor’s Variety Show - stick that up yer H & S protocol documents, Essex County Council.

HUGE CLICHE KLAXON: Yep, Wivenhoe’s Got Talent, but all acts and performers were the winners on the evening. It takes some bottle to step up on a stage with an audience of family and friends there to see you shine / come slightly unstuck. Plenty of the former, none of the latter, and a large amount of money raised for the Mayor’s Charity Fund.

“Wivenhoe’s got talent,”

…I declared to @AnnaJCowen as we walked back up the High Street. A slap round the face and a polite reminder not to take too many photos of the belly dancing.

Whoops.

Full flickr feed over here.

And so there you are, sitting in the Wivenhoe Town Council chamber, trying to suck your way through as many of the civic freebie Murray Mints as possible, and Mr Mayor suddenly lavishes deserved praised on the Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Half an hour later and you are back at base, Murray Mints statched away in your mouth like a squirrel smuggling nuts back to the nest and whaddya know - it’s only a copy of the Esteemed Organ of Truth and Justice waiting for you on the doorstep.

That Scoop must be psychic I tell you. PSYCHIC.

Confirmation comes our way via The Chronicle that the previously trailed green waste collection, run by Eastern Waste Disposal, has now got the green light. Green light - hilarious, huh?

Company Launches Green Waste Collection

“One of the region’s leading recycling specialists, EWD, will be launching a green waste collection service covering Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe and villages in north east Essex during the next few days.”

And who can claim the deserved credit for convincing EWD to run the scheme? Why, the fine man that is Scoop and The Chronicle of course:

“The decision to launch this new venture follows a huge response from readers of The Chronicle, which was publicised last month. Almost 300 readers contacted the company, and Danny Carter, Director of EWD said: they were all very positive about the new service, and as a direct result of the response we received from The Chronicle, we have decided to go ahead with the green waste collection.”

Hyperlocal works, Comrades.

Further funding details are delivered. Delivered - hilarious, hilarious, huh?

“The cost per bag is £2, and there is a minimum order of ten bags. The price includes the delivery of the empty bags, and collection of the full bags from the customer’s address.”

Which all makes for something to sing and dance about. Well, certainly sing, anyway. Did someone mention Gilbert and Sullivan?

“In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.”

Or something…

“The Wivenhoe Gilbert and Sullivan Society returns to its roots next month with the production of Ruddigore at the William Loveless Hall [where else?] The story is set in a small waterfront village…”

Hang on.

You’ll be telling us it contains references to tired and emotional local lovers of alcohol next.

The production of Ruddigore will run from 13th to 17th March, with performances starting at 7:30pm. Tickets are on sale at the Premier Store and the High Street Post Office.

If putting on the black fishnets, shaking a leg and looking rather saucy as you enter the glittering stage of the William Loveless Hall is your type of thing, then read on. Women may be interested as well.

The Mayoral Variety Performance

“Wivenhoe Town Mayor, Robert Needham is producing the Mayoral Variety Performance at the William Loveless Hall on Friday 24th February. Tickets are now on sale, and the show, which will be under the direction of the talented artiste Shane Diggens, will comprise a diverse and colourful range of acts performed by Wivenhoe based artistes.”

Sounds just like a Wivenhoe Town Council meeting to be honest.

“Admission is by ticket, just £5, £1 for under 15′s, and they are available from Wivenhoe Town Council - 822864.”

Break a leg. Or even a mop, apparently…

Not so saucy, but equally entertaining is the Wivenhoe Folk Club. The only fishnets that you will thankfully find here are probably fishnets. And yep - I mean fishnets…

“On Thursday 1st March, Wivenhoe Folk Club will welcome back Mike Nicholson as their main guest artiste. He is described by the organisers of the Folk Club as having a wonderful, mellow baritone voice, and he sings a wide range of songs.”

The Folk Club meets at The Flag, with an 8pm start, £6 admission. Which would have probably read a whole lot sexier if you put on a mellow, baritone voice. Gents as well.

The high praise that came from high office at WTC is featured on p.4:

Town Council to Purchase Former Police Station

“Wivenhoe Town Council, with grant assistance, looks set to purchase the former police station, police houses and their garden during the next few weeks. Owned by the Essex Police Authority, the site is in a central position in the town, and adjoins the William Loveless Hall and land that is already owned by WTC.”

In a rare editorial stance by Scoop, yer man is bang on the money when he adds:

“Unquestionably the town councillors are involved are to be congratulated over this very positive action which is likely to lead to new community facilities. It will also prevent any insensitive development of the site by commercial organisations.”

Hear, hear.

As Mayor Needham no doubt said around the civic table on Monday evening…

Helen Chambers [hellooo!] pens a wonderful review of the Wivenhoe Pantomime on p.10:

“The Wivenhoe Pantomime lived up to the high standard that we have come to expect. Putting on a show like this is very much a team effort.”

A loving obituary appears for Brian Green, covering his many achievements in the town including running his own business, work for the Mayor’s Charity, running the Teddy Bear’s Picnic and starting the annual crabbing competition.

And finally the Wivenhoe Funny Farm gets a mention on p.15, reminding readers that the best value Thursday night ticket in town once again takes place on 23rd February. Which also happens to be the date that this blog post displays.

Comic timing. And all delivered with a mouth stuffed full of WTC Murray Mints.

Well I never.

Of sorts.

Some day boy you’ll reap what you sew, etc…

No more bloody courgettes though this summer, thank you very much.

To the Town Council Office! …on Monday evening for the monthly chin wag between Wivenhoe Town councillors, plus some head nodding and scribbling in the background from the bored hit and miss hyperlocal blogger.

But wait! What’s this!

It’s only the good man Mr Mule sitting in the council chamber, scrubbed up and looking resplendent ahead of the civic formalities.

Aye aye, I thought. This could get interesting…

It’s not quite Parliamentary etiquette for PMQ’s to commence with the playing of a bonkers but brilliant hyperlocal radio jingle. But then again Wivenhoe Town Council was never really a starched white-collar affair. How wonderful to hear a Radio Wivenhoe jingle being played in the chamber, ahead of a fine presentation from Jerry Davis, the Voice of the Colne’s Head Honcho, with a supporting role from Mr Mule:

Jerry addressed the Cllr’s:

“We are hopeful of gaining an FM community licence for Radio Wivenhoe. We are here this evening to ask you for your support. We are staffed voluntarily by local people who love to listen to radio, as well as to create content. Radio Wivenhoe is currently broadcasting online for sixteen hours a day, seven days a week. We are self-funding, with very generous support from Andrew Wheatley down at the Business Centre, as well as a growing number of local advertisers.”

I’m not sure if Jerry was the warm-up act for Mr Mule or the straight guy for the stooge. But this was no occasion for stand up comedy.

Mr Mule added:

“We would greatly appreciate it if Wivenhoe Town Council could rubber stamp Radio Wivenhoe and offer your support. The town has gained a radio station because of the internet. We are six months ahead of where we would have been without being able to broadcast online. We would love you to put up our broadcast schedule on the Town Council notice boards.

The station needs more speech presenters as well. Our demographic is for the more mature person. If anyone can make this work, then we can right here in Wivenhoe. This is a unique town with unique talents.”

Pitch performed, time for the feedback.

“VERY inspirational,” came the reply from Mayor Needham. Further platitudes were probably about to follow, until Mr Mule chipped in:

“We don’t get paid!”

The feeling was mutual.

Mayor Needham continued:

“We are behind all enterprises that support Wivenhoe. We will gladly place the schedules on the notice boards, and we would like to use the WTC website to help promote your fine work as well.”

Glowing endorsements for the Voice of the Colne followed around the top table.

VOTE MULE.

I was rather hoping that each agenda item to follow would then be introduced with a Radio Wivenhoe jingle to set the scene. Finance and Planning has so many soundscape creative possibilities.

Instead we went straight into Reports from the County and Borough Councillors. If you want to try and imagine how this would sound in a 30 second audio format, try listening to the Shipping Forecast being read out in the style of a Greater Anglia train announcer.

Unfair.

…on the Greater Anglia train announcer.

It wasn’t so much a case of One of Our Councillors is Missing, but Four of our Five Councillors are AWOL. Slightly unfair again. As we approach the Ides of March and the forthcoming Colchester Borough Council elections for a seat in both the Quay and Cross wards, now is a busy time in the big boys and girls of proper politics.

The Colchester Labour group had a meeting over at the Town Hall, hence no Cllr Young (although she did submit a report,) and sadly no smiling Cllr Ford either. I’m not sure about the whereabouts of the blue rinse lot (not a metaphorical observation,) and at least one half of the Love Me I’m a Liberal lot from up at the Cross was in attendance, with the ever engaging Cllr Manning.

Much interest followed out of Cllr Young’s written report. In particular, there was concern that any *possible* Section 106 wonga from the proposed multi-tier car park at the University remains in Wivenhoe, rather than our nearby neighbours over in the St Andrew’s ward.

Cllr Young has proposed supporting the controversial planning application on campus, with the proviso that some of the S106 money is then made available to help fund the long-awaited cycle path between the town and gown junction.

As well as being the County representative for Wivenhoe at Essex County Council, Cllr Young is also… the ward councillor for St Andrew’s at CBC.

In the absence of Cllr Young, Cllr Manning clarified:

“The University boundary covers 85% of the Wivenhoe Cross ward. This means that 85% of any S106 money has to go towards Wivenhoe. St Andrew’s shouldn’t be able to touch this. The only people that can sign this off are Cllr Cory and myself [Cross ward Cllr's].”

Cllr Vaughan of WTC added an interesting observation:

“The University hasn’t tackled public transport issues before proposing to build the car park. Cllr Young has put pressure on the University to get funding for the cycle path as part of the car park planning application. This isn’t for Julie to decide - it is a Wivenhoe Cross issue.”

The written report from Cllr Young contained a further twist regarding the University’s announcement to close the popular Quayside Cafe down at the Hythe:

“The University are looking at keeping toilets open and installing a coffee machine to migate the loss of the cafe. Borough planners will not allow change of use to student accommodation until there are some alternative facilities available.

I tried to get the Institute to take on the Cafe as a training ground for students but they are not interested. At the moment it looks as though the cafe will close and it will be left empty, which is a terrible shame. Anyone who can think of a potential tenant who would give the cafe a go, please let me or Andrew Nightingale know.”

*cough* @_thebikeguru_…

Contact has already been made, Comrades.

The location for a cycling cafe would be superb, midway from Sunny Colch out towards Wivenhoe. The student population would certainly fit the Guru’s market for evening entertainment that he has been successfully staging down at the Hidden Kiosks in town.

Chapeau!

And just when you think you have finished with the woe that is one Cllr and the uncertainty that comes with the University and planning, whhaddya know - it’s only Cllr Manning and developments with our friends up on campus:

“It looks like the Knowledge Gateway re-submitted planning application for student accommodation will now go through. It is likely to include provision for two disabled parking bays.

I have called in the University’s car park planning application. I am busy working with local residents to see what they think of the development.”

And from one extreme of a seemingly untapped richness of source in funding that the University is fortunate to experience, right back down to the bottom of the fiscal food chain and the short change that Wivenhoe Town Council believes it has received from Colchester Borough Council.

Cllr Lodge asked Cllr Manning about any developments over the precept levels that have been slashed by CBC. The reply was slightly coded, but you get the message, Comrades:

“I am confident that a coalition of sorts will be in place in the Borough after the May local elections. I am not sure what colour this will be. Until this happens, we can’t make any statement.”

The final word, as ever, came from Mayor Needham:

“We feel strongly about the way that CBC has treated the towns and parishes. We have been short changed.”

Never argue with a man holding a B & Q mallet.

With all the political uncertainty at the Borough wide level, what we need is a return to the stability of the working life of a short changed town council. What we need is the Planning report.

Oh Lordy.

Mr Mayor confirmed:

“We are not in favour of the application made to demolish the St John’s Ambulance Building. We have asked Cllr Ford to call this in. As a Town Council, we are very concerned about the proposed University car park.”

Better news down at Cooks, with the dingy park close to completion. Ideas as to what use WTC can make of the original Fisherman’s Store space are now being considered.

But perhaps the loudest HURRAH! heard in the short history of hit and miss blog posts covering Wivenhoe Town Council meetings was reserved for the confirmation that progress is finally in place for a new Health Centre for Wivenhoe.

Um, HURRAH!

Cllr Lodge declared:

“After fifteen years of campaigning, we are now coming close to having a new health centre being built. This is the most positive news that we have had. At long last we could see the new building being open in three years time.”

It has been quite a busy month when it comes to money for WTC. As well as hearing that the funds are now in place from the PCT to progress with the Health Centre, the council chequebook has been seeing some significant action itself.

Mayor Needham explained:

“We received a proposal to lend the Wivenhoe Diamond Jubilee Committee the sum of £2,000 up front. This is needed immediately to start planning. We hope to recover this money during Jubilee week with bucket shaking on the gate.”

WTC unanimously approved the request.

But what the good Cllr’s give away (sort of) they recoup in the form of grants. The William Loveless Hall [where else?] has been successful in applying and receiving a grant for £3,500. A new glitter ball isn’t about to be dangled from the ceiling of everyone’s favourite prefab style village hall; nope, instead the Gents are having something a makeover.

Which in these days of equality is rather decent to hear, seeing as though the women folk of Wivenhoe are now treated to a Five Star [eh?] William Loveless flushing experience whenever they go to powder their noses.

Cllr Lodge commented:

“I have been in the Ladies toilets [blimey] and very nice they are too. I would request however that we have no spotlights in the gents.”

Oooh, I don’t know. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.

The slightly more serious subject of damage deposits for the William Loveless Hall was then approached. Debate on the Wivenhoe Forum has highlighted the practical problems that coughing up a tidy some of cash can present.

To the credit of Cllr Kraft and Cllr Hall, both agreed to listen and discuss some of the points raised on the Forum at the next Loveless Hall working party meeting.

The Estates Working Party reported that The Hub youth group are going to apply for a grant to put in place a new basketball court down at the Philip Road Centre. With the future of the Essex County Council building *possibly* being far from certain, this was viewed as “very encouraging” in that a commitment is being put in place.

The Community Opportunities Group fed back with details and plans following a recent meeting with @asset_transfer. There was also the formal confirmation that the cheque has now cleared for the purchase of the police houses and that the legal papers are ready to sign.

WTC has been asked for S106 assistance to cover a new tennis pavilion up at Broad Lane, goalposts at Lower Lodge and assistance with the Scout and Guide building. The proposal for a BMX facility at Henrietta Close, funded by S106 wonga, is on hold. This is not “fully supported” by all residents.

We then had the bonkers moment (there’s always one) when Mr Mayor passed on the information about the restrictions that Essex County Council is apparently putting in place when it comes to… bunting.

Blimey.

With much flag waving and decorations expected ahead of Brenda’s Big Day in June, ECC is concerned about the dangers of bunting.

Aren’t we all, Comrades.

Mr Mayor has fielded a phone call from a very patient @TheGazette journo, asking about WTC’s plans for Jubilee week. After the roll call of planned celebrations had been relayed (a Royal Ball at the William Loveless Hall [where else?] a Thanksgiving service at St Mary’s, a peeling of the church bells on bank Holiday Monday lasting from 8:30am until midday [BLIMEY! BLIMEY!] a Family Fun Day at the KGV including athletics, a hog roast, welly wanging, a tug of war, a brass band and a possible fireworks display) …the very patient Gazette journo then said yes, yes, but what about the bloody bunting?!

Whoops.

“We don’t want to bash ECC” Mr Mayor told the meeting. “This is another layer of work that we can well do without.”

And so no bunting, but bell ringing from 8:30am until midday. No logic, these H & S types…

Time to grit your teeth, time to talk about road gritting. Skid marks all round, etc.

Mr Mayor was full of praise for the two WTC groundsmen:

“We have our own areas of importance in the town that are crucial for the continuance of Wivenhoe. Doing the work ourselves was the only way to achieve this.”

Keeping with the DIY ethos and a tentative request has been made about the provision for “burial by the river.”

Blimey.

This was no laughing matter, but a half decent Two Ronnies sketch was then played out.

Back on dry land and a consultation has been received from CBC about the provision of street services. This was described by Mayor Needham as: “more of a statement than a consultation.”

Ouch.

A receipt of the consultation is now back in the post. No comments have been added.

This then led to a debate about updating the Town Plan. There was consensus that needs refreshing, but the agenda is heavy elsewhere (police houses, Jubilee, Cooks.) Plus The Localism Bill and its impact on communities is far from certain, both at a hyperlocal and national level. It was agreed that the Town Plan would be put on hold, until more clarity comes from The Localism Bill.

And finally…

Not officially an agenda item, but a *cough* a wedding card was very kindly handed over on behalf of Wivenhoe Town Council to, well, to a hyperlocal hit and miss type resident.

Well I never.

Much appreciated by the bride, I hear.

Next month, Comrades…

It’s not all about The Odeon showing Sing-a-long-a Batman Re-Imagined in 3D the Prequel when it comes to the cinematic choices around Sunny Colch. Valid though The Odeon is for new releases, it is reassuring to know that a sense of independent community cinema is thriving within the region. Wivenhoe’s Moving Image has been screening regular Saturday evening films for just over fourteen months now. The numbers are up, the prices remain steady and a genuine sense of community has started to grow around the hyperlocal screenings.

The volunteer led group was originally formed with the grand ambition to find a permanent home. This aim may have been scaled down, but the enthusiasm and ability to deliver weekly films to Wivenhoe and the surrounds certainly hasn’t. Saturday evenings are the main screening showtime, with the Essex County Council owned Philip Road Centre serving as the base. Blackout curtains convert the old school into a pop up cinema, with specific audio equipment brought in to enhance the effect.

Moving Image is no competition for The Odeon - it actually compliments the blockbuster schedule than can be seen along Head Street. Films such as The King’s Speech, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy or V for Vendetta may get their first run in town, but then for folk that might have missed them, these are then picked up shortly afterwards by Moving Image. Slightly more left of centre films also get a look in. The trick is to balance a challenging season with the hard realities of breaking even.

Membership for Moving Image is a bargain at £10 per year. This entitles entry to screenings for only £4.50. Non-members are most welcome, paying the slightly higher £6. The Moving Image website is regularly updated with future dates and reviews. You can also keep in touch via @wivmovingimage on Twitter, or via the Facebook page.

Below is the first recording of what hopefully will be a regular catch up with the Moving Image folk. We want to find out which screenings have worked, as well as looking ahead to future films. But for all the hit and miss hyperlocal recordings, the best support that you can give is to simply attend a screening. Talk is cheap. So is Moving Image.

Aha!

*not quite as slick, but that was never the suggestion…