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To the Hythe! …early on Friday morning for a meeting with Bob Russell MP.

Blimey.

I say meeting - it was more like a friendly fire side chat with the LibDem MP for Sunny Colch, but without the fireside but an army of garden gnomes to surround us instead.

No kidding.

The very lovely folk of @Colchester101 magazine had kindly arranged the interview. My task was to turn up just off Hythe Hill, suited and booted and transform Saint Bob into the cover star for 101 for next month.

Cripes.

Having heard tales of trepidation ahead of the interview, I did my research. Voting records, expenses, um… firststite.

“Bob is Bob is Bob” is the phrase that kept on coming back to me. He is as much a part of Colchester as a Roman centurion is, proudly defiant, doing his own thing and not afraid of upsetting anyone that deviates him away from his task of talking up the town.

I read the wise Mr Mule’s words on his Westminster meeting with Bob before leaving base. It had a calming effect knowing that if the Pop Genius took something of a shine to Bob, then hopefully my cover star quest shouldn’t go disastrously wrong.

I needn’t have worried. A few sweaty palms just before 9am (mine, not his) and then before we started recording, I was made to feel at home in his constituency office with a tour of the various artefacts that have been accumulated in his fourteen years as Colchester’s MP.

Garden gnomes figured heavily.

I had planned for twenty minutes - thirty at a push - to survive the Colchester political cauldron. Forty-five minutes later and it was me who was wrapping up the interview, conscience of the editing that would be required, should our conversation continue.

I’m going to write it up for @Colchester101 over the next few days, giving it some context and exploring in more depth some of the wider themes for the town. But for m’blog, I thought I would open up an insight, and pull out some of the themes that may be of relevance to a Wivenhoe angle.

We start off with the city status bid for Colchester. All the prestige may be focussed upon the town itself, but what would city status actually mean for folk living in Wivenhoe?

“I know that some of the people living in the Borough outside of Colchester are not enthused. That’s fine - I’m not actually enthused that places outside of Colchester are in the Borough.

When I first got elected to Colchester Borough Council in 1971, it was just the town. Local government reorganisation meant that from 1st April 1974, Wivenhoe Urban and District Council merged with Colchester.”

Good point, well made. I have often found it perplexing why we have to pay Council Tax to Colchester Borough Council, yet we have an MP who represents Harwich and North Essex.

“Frankly I wouldn’t lose any sleep if we had another local government reorganisation and we went back to the historic Borough of Colchester, which by happy coincidence, is the boundary of my constituency.”

The above quotes from Bob read rather harshly - don’t take it too personally - I *think* that he has a lot of love for Wivenhoe. Off mic and we touched upon his involvement in helping to put in place the Wivenhoe Trail. He spoke highly of Conservative Borough Cllr Ann Quarrie of the Quay ward, and her personal input on this project.

It also seems that Bob is an occasional drinker at the Black Buoy - we spoke (off mic…) about Boxing Day and the Colchester Morris Men. I truly wish that I had recorded the wonderful phrase “I confess that I am something of a Morris Men groupie…”

I looked rather sheepishly into my notes when Bob remarked “that’s a little silly really” in response to my point that a sense of community could be lost when a town becomes a city.

Ask a silly question…

“Somewhere like Wivenhoe has immense pride in its community. It is distinctive from the town of Colchester.”

I think we were both in agreement in keeping this status quo, although possibly coming from different perspectives…

Keeping Colchester and Wivenhoe at a safe distance of course is the Hythe. This is an area that has fascinated me much of late, mostly coming out of Mr Mule’s recent ramblings and observations.

Bob also has big plans for the former industrial heartland of the area:

“I want the Hythe to marketed as Colchester’s Second London Station, to try and get people who are currently clogging up the North Station to start their journey at the Hythe.”

Which would seem to make sense.

And then for the next part of the interview, I simply couldn’t shirk away from the VAF and the imminent opening of firstsite.

Neither did Bob.

Having been an incredibly vocal critic of the visual arts facility that is about to open in Colchester, I asked Bob if he would be attending the opening ceremony next month:

“I believe I’ve been invited. I sense that if I were there, that would be a distraction. It’s their big day. It’s been said that I want the project to fail - NO I don’t want the project to fail. The last thing I want is for this to be an even bigger burden on the people of Colchester.”

We tracked back slightly, and Bob’s original solution seems to be a hybrid of the bus station and public art:

“Rather than have England’s 300th publicly funded art gallery, you could have England’s first bus station art gallery.”

Blimey.

I tried to explore the benefits that firstsite will eventually bring to Colchester - better to have it here, than elsewhere, etc…

“I would have been delighted if this millstone had gone somewhere else.”

Which is Bob being Bob being Bob. Which is also why he is so successful at getting elected, and why he is such a popular figure around the town. The inner aspiring artist within (me, not Bob) has to admit that he has the pulse of the man on the street (i.e. the electorate) to perfection.

We moved on with the Nu Labour phrase of “we are where we are,” both grimacing, both remembering that the local Labour party have been in bed with the VAF from day one.

Bob was keen to put aside the point of view that he is an arts philistine. He rolled off many leading artists in the area that are there to be celebrated, and then asked me head on:

“Are you aware that we have the leading accordion band in the country here in Colchester?”

Um…

Bob quite genuinely then spoke some very complimentary words towards Kath Wood, the Director of firstsite - like I said, Bob has a friendly growl, rather than a viscous bite.

But the point is that Bob Russell clearly loves the arts, just not the more avant-garde angle that artists sometimes have a tendency to disappear upwards:

“There is an elitist strand, that even at this moment, cannot grasp the fact that they are so unpopular. They could retrieve part of the situation by saying, well actually, it would help us to get people through the door if tourist coaches can deposit them outside our door. Let’s go out into the community. But they won’t.”

It remains to be seen if this taking public art out into the community is successful for firstsite, but on a related topic, this weekend of course sees the Colchester Free Festival in Castle Park - an event being organised by the creative community @15QueenStreet. How much more public can you get?

And finally - will you be standing again for public office at the next general election? Will the coalition still be in place? Is there actually anyone out there that can take the place of the huge personality that Bob Russell has been able to offer the Colchester electorate?

“David Cameron feels more at home working with some of the LibDem MP’s than he does working with some of his right wing head banging Tory MP’s - of which there are several right wing head banging Tory MP’s in Essex”

OUCH.

Tell It Like It Is, Bob.

“I’m sixty-five, I shall be sixty-nine at the next general election. I think we’ve got to see what happens. It’s a question of maintaining that enthusiasm, and belief that I can do the job. I enjoy representing my hometown in Parliament. However long that goes on for, Mother Nature will decide.”

And the electorate, I added to the record…

Bob clearly loves Colchester and would rather spend his time in the town than having to compete with all the nonsense that Westminster brings. But for a successful local politician to speak up for his hometown, he needs to work in the political twaddle that is Parliament.

I found him a warm, illuminating and bloody funny bloke in which to spend just under an hour in the company of on a drab Friday morning. Off mic and we swapped tales of *shhh* the messy world of Lambeth politico life. I rather liked Bob’s take.

I think that he enjoyed our chat - he suggested sending a copy to Andrew Phillips and the Colchester Recalled oral history project. I like to think that in years to come, local historians will hang on to every word from a blunt bloke laying out his vision for the town / city in which they are now living.

Other topics that we touched on included the expansion of the town (“too quick,”) trains and trams (“We still need a visionary government - we didn’t get it from Labour and we aren’t getting it from the coalition,”) tuition fees at the University (ouch), the Knowledge Gateway, listing Wivenhoe Park and the “Essex Olympics of 2012” - a phrase which I rather like. Stratford is a lot closer than Sunny Stockwell.

And so yeah - quite a character, quite a charmer.

Would I vote for him?

Ah… not living within his Colchester constituency boundary, and that is a hyperlocal, hypothetical question, Comrades.

To the Wivenhoe Bookshop on Saturday morning for some Radio Wivenhoe interview training. We may revel in our amateur status, but to keep the big boys of broadcasting from getting hold of a community licence, a training programme has to be in place.

Which is no bad thing, given the bumblings around the edges of of an mp3 player that I have so far put out in the name of Wiv Chat.

We are blessed here in Wivenhoe to have Heather Purdey as a local resident. Having made a name for herself in fronting up radio newsrooms in the ’80s and early ’90s, Heather is now a highly esteemed academic, holding the post of Director of International Journalism at City University.

But that’s all for the day job. Heather very kindly gave up her weekend to help out a rag tag collection of hyperlocal broadcasting types to sit in the splendour of the backroom shed at the Bookshop, and help us out as we explore what lies ahead for Radio Wivenhoe.

We have pretty much been making it up as we go along in the short history of Radio Wivenhoe - have mp3 recorder, will travel. Physically setting up the station was the priority. Smoothing out the rough edges and coming up with the What Next has to be addressed now.

With news of the hyperlocal station just starting to spread around the town, we have a little grace to experiment and find some future direction; or even find how to turn on your portable mp3 player and actually record some content.

Whoops.

But Radio Wivenhoe needs a focus to keep the momentum and enthusiasm progressing. We certainly found this on Saturday, with a microphone being thrust into our face and an impromptu interview greeting each guest upon arrival.

Must try that one at the locals stagger out of The Station after last orders on a Saturday night…

It wasn’t just the interview technique that Heather was able to condense into our three hour slot, but also the physical set up in putting in place a makeshift studio in your own front room.

With @AnnaJCowen covering all four corners of Studio Wiv Chat with a pot of Dulux back at base, there are some basics that I have overlooked. Body language is all-important, especially when you have strapped down your guest for an hour as you try and unearth that previously unknown piece of hyperlocal history.

Come mid-morning and is was time to be let loose on the locals of Wivenhoe.

Oh Lordy.

The practical task was set to tear up and down the High Street and come back with a short piece. I pondered going to Papa’s Chip Shop and delicately producing a piece of advertorial, all for the small price of one of the finest saveloys you can get your yer lips around in North Essex.

I buggered off down to the Quay instead: not a single soul insight. Wivenhoe is very good at sleeping though Saturday mornings. Questions were considered about the unwelcome boat, but no one was around to answer them.

Hard-pressed hyperlocal news hounds can probably find a story at the Sailing Club I though. Not at low water Jase.

Whoops.

The charming Pet Shop Girls at the Business Centre were also on my radar, but by now I was starting to get some slightly crazed looks after watching a couple of local lads roll around in the mud by the jetty, hovering with my mic, and poised to ask them what they hell they were doing.

“Having fun, innit?”

Hey hoe.

With the studio clock counting down, I made a dash for the Wivenhoe Trail. This has been a hotbed of hyperlocal debate of late over on the Wivenhoe Forum (whaddya mean… blah blah blah - oh, just…)

Permissive Use by Bicyclists doesn’t amount to free love and understanding being dished out by Ferry Marsh, but watch yer back - it’s only one of those lycra lovers about to take you up the backside.

THIS is local news. THIS was going to be my lead back in the Bookshop shed.

I wandered lonely as a cloud, almost as far down as the Hythe. Not a single cyclist or pedestrian passed me.

Wake up Wivenhoe: TIME TO DIE.

Eventually a charming Dutch couple slowed down outside the old Engine Shed as I waved at them on their touring bikes like a mad fool waves at a wet hen.

“Um, yeah, um, Radio Wivenhoe, y’know, so, right, what d’ya think of cycling?”

It wasn’t the best opening question and my guests were struggling slightly with the lingo. Still, I recorded three minutes of audio, which probably made more sense if you could see the head nods that got us around the language issues.

Happy with the scoop, and with a skip and a hop along Station Road, I listened back to my recording.

Don’t press DELETE Jase, press save. DON’T PRESS DELETE, JASE PRESS SAVE.

So yeah, I inadvertently deleted my three minutes of fame.

Back down towards the Hythe it was then.

Well, not quite. A couple of new to Wivenhoe locals walked past, I filled them in; they had heard of Radio Wivenhoe and were only to keen to help out the bumbling boy about town with a mic.

A closed question here and there went against all the theory that we were taught back in the Bookshop shed, but I quite like the short piece. It’s not going to throw the global financial crash off the top of the news bulletins, but then again the Dow Jones never really played out very strong in the beer garden at The Station.

Back at the Bookshop and all four students listened to the recordings that we returned with. Puffin came back with a brilliant insight into life in the village Post Office, ex Cllr-Cyril headed for the boozer and welcomed the new land lady at the Black Buoy for a bar side chat. Mr Mule talked about Led Zep with Heather.

We all had four unique interviews, with four very different interview techniques. Those Editorial Board meetings at Radio Wivenhoe are going to keep us up all hours over those long winter months.

And so some three hours later after first bumbling through the Bookshop doors, I reflected on what had been the most useful and practical Saturday morning that I have experienced in some time - I’m including my time spent getting lost in the gardening aisles down at B & Q.

No formal news gathering is in place as yet at Radio Wivenhoe, but there are stories out there to be told, I tell ya.

We concluded with some wonderful serendipity. I knew of Heather in a different life some twenty-five years ago as my first job as the bumbling boy at the local radio station. Heather was already running the newsroom, and was about to go on to even better things.

A quarter of a century later, and we were both in the backroom shed at the Wivenhoe Bookshop and about to take the next step for Radio Wivenhoe.

The local radio station from back in the day has long since been lost to the big boys of corporate radio. Heather told me of how a breakaway hyperlocal online station back in the Fair City has since sprung up.

Now *that* sounds like something you want to here…

This piece was first published in the brilliant Colchester 101 magazine. Copies are available for free around pubs, shops and other public places in the town.

What makes a community? It is a question that is as simple as it is complicated. It is also a question that has been occupying Colchester Borough Council of late.

Concern has been raised that the area around the Hythe has no identity. The accusation is that a spiralling sprawl of a satellite town has been allowed to shoot up, yet no one knows exactly what is the point of existence for the Hythe.

If that sounds slightly existential, then it really shouldn’t. The Hythe has a proud industrial history connected to Colchester Dock. Now it seems it is simply a byword to describe either a stretch of buy to let properties, or a short cut for the B & Q roundabout.

When looking at what makes a local community co-operate together, Colchester is blessed as a borough with some rather wonderful examples. The Dutch Quarter manages to contain a unique historical perspective, whilst simultaneously living in the back garden of the centre of the town itself.

Wivenhoe is well known for the unique community spirit that has grown organically, not to mention slightly anarchically. Look beyond all the misguided bad headlines that the Greenstead attracts, and you can also find a genuine community spirit within.

But the Hythe is simply the Hythe. Manufacturing has long since been lost. In its place, the town planners have failed to manufacture a self-contained community in which to live.

It’s not surprising really - people constitute a community, not a collection of identikit one and two-bedroom commuter flats. The area has been allowed to over-build with buy to lets, with little or no thought as to the social infrastructure that is needed to support the locals.

The Pride wine bar has recently closed, leaving little optimism for the area around the Hythe that still remains underdeveloped. A worrying spate of ‘random’ fires have characterised the old industrial units in the past six months. Essex Fire Brigade is concerned about the ‘randomness’ of these incidents and is investigating further.

The irony of course is that the Hythe should be the perfect place in which to grow community activities. The natural riverfront could provide the perfect backdrop for a thriving mini-town within itself.

Instead we have a hangover from the industrial past, with neither the political, nor economic will in which to dredge the Colne. The Pooh Facotry downstream provides a constant reminder of the industrial euphemism in which Colchester Borough Council now holds for the Hythe.

And so what can be done to try and build a genuine community to match the matchbox housing that has appeared around the Hythe? The University’s Knowledge Gateway is going to add to the immediate local area over the coming couple of years.

Private residential accommodation is all part of the plan, hopefully bringing in some new energy and enthusiasm for the Eastern edge of Colchester. But for Colchester Borough Council to create a sense of community around the Hythe then people must be put first, rather than the profit of private developers.

A micro community does currently exist along the banks of the old Colchester Dock. The houseboats have shown how local folk can have a pride in where they live, if they are allowed to live the lifestyle in which they choose.

It’s not going to happen overnight, but bringing on board the experiences of the houseboat owners to the buy to let neighbours, is the first step towards bringing a genuine sense of community back to the Hythe.

To the Town Council Offices on a miserable Monday evening. The weather didn’t reflect my mood - who can fail to feel uplifted at the prospect of an hour or so of formal civic discussion?

Mr Mayor, or so it would seem.

An apology of absence (he’s a VERY busy fella, donctha know…) and instead we were under the splendid stewardship of the good Lady Deputy Mayor, Councillor Kraft.

Ruling as the Matriarch of Wivenhoe for the evening, the Lady Deputy Mayor ran a tight ship. It wasn’t quite as tight as her crab line from the day before at down at the Quay, but the bait of WTC mints proved too much for me to resist once again.

First off was the formal business of welcoming the two new Wivenhoe Town Councillors - Cllr Asa Aldis and Cllr Nick Tile. The new blood / bait have very kindly stepped forward and been vigorously interviewed as co-opted Cllrs.

We wish them well.

Correspondence from the public kicked off the conversation. High praise for Wivenhoe in Bloom came from Brian Thomas, noting the co-operation between the local green fingered gardening group and WTC in providing such a wonderful display outside by the Co-op / Jardine / Eyecare Wivenhoe - Bermuda Triangle.

Reports from the local political representatives followed. Cllr Julie Young, Labour’s representative for Colchester on Essex County Council (not THE representative, but not too far off either, Comrades) has had a busy month:

“We held a Scrutiny meeting last week. It was revealed that ECC has an UNDER spend of £480,000 for the previous financial year.”

Woh.

Run that through me once again, Comrade…

An UNDER spend of close to half a cool million. The good Cllr Young is pitching in to try and take £10k of this to spend on new toilets up at Broad Lane. I know a man who will feel quite flushed with that idea.

Cllr Young continued:

“The 20mph zone for lower Wivenhoe is set to come into operation on 25th July.”

Hurrah!

All those flash Tom, Dick and Harry’s racing through the town in their poncey sports cars will hopefully soon be thwarted. Speaking of which:

“We held a Full Council meeting last Tuesday where a motion was passed not to pay the allowance to the disgraced and jailed Lord Hangingfield, the former Leader of Essex County Council.”

This matter is NOT related to the £480,000 UNDER spend, I understand.

Cllr Young was keen to put on the record that she personally doesn’t take any freebie foreign trips that may come her way as part of the political cut and thrust. That’s what the 74 bus is for, Comrades.

With the Red Flag still flying over the Town Council Offices, the charming Cllr Steve Ford, Labour’s man down in the Quay ward at Colchester Borough Council, was next to update the meeting:

“Colchester Borough Council has now divided up the street service zones. What this means is that St Anne’s, Greenstead and Wivenhoe now has a dedicated team of three street wardens to look after waste issues, etc.”

Which is just as well, seeing as though confusion still surrounds the cutting back of refuse collection from a five day a week to a four days service throughout the Borough:

“A few teething problems have been reported to me in Wivenhoe. Some residents have complained that the rubbish hasn’t been collected by 3pm on Wednesdays, the new day for most of lower Wivenhoe. It may be that 5pm is now the latest that the bins will be collected in the Borough.”

Um, rubbish!

At least it means an end to that early morning 7am hike out in the jim jams to separate the leftovers from the curry incident from the night before.

On planning matters, Cllr Ford added:

“An application has now been submitted to knock down the old St John’s Ambulance building on Chapel Road, and then to build a new one bedroom / one studio facility. Questions need to be asked if this will actually enhance the existing structures on the street.”

Indeed they will. And indeed they were, later on in the meeting. This also leads to the presumption (NEVER presume, Jase) that the land has been secured by the private bidder, rather than the local group that was trying to purchase the property for community use.

Finally Cllr Ford got in flap over foliage. And quite rightly so:

“I am concerned that a lot of branches and bushes from gardens are being let to overgrow onto the street. These can be a hazard to elderly folk walking around the town. I would ask for all residents to take a responsible approach.”

Hear, hear *cough* lower end of Park Road…

With the business of the Borough and County Cllr’s covered (no Love Me I’m a Liberal lot this month; some scribbled notes came our way from the True Blue Cllr Quarrie) and then it was on to WTC Planning matters.

A date of 4th August has been set to bash the heads together between all thirteen WTC Cllr’s and our four CBC representatives in the two town wards. Nothing to do with political posturing, but simply an issue of co-operation when it comes to divvying up the dirty dosh that is Section 106 wonga.

This is basically a legal back hander when corporate organisations such as the University, or Taylor Wimpey, want to roll out its latest development. You scratch my back, we’ll close Clingoe Hill for a month, build private residential property and cover it up all in the name of International Conflict Resolution.

Cripes.

Previously the brown envelopes have been very a much a north and south issue, allocated on a boundary basis to either the Cross or Quay wards. The joined up thinking now is for co-operation to see where in Wivenhoe the money can best be best allocated.

Which all sounds like the best outcome for what can be a very underhand business.

Which brings us nicely to Cook’s Shipyard. The good Cllr Sinclair has been going through the (as yet unsigned) lease with all the dedication of a man that is as financially frugal as he is friendly.

“It appears that the supply of electricity and water down in the dry dock is something that WTC is expected to not only provide, but also to pay for. We need to consider this…”

But for all the talk of developments rolling out faster than the delayed 9:23 to Liverpool Street, it was a return to one particular piece of planning that still appears to be slightly off the rails:

The proposed new Health Centre.

Cripes.

Mr Mayor has held a “constructive” phone conversation with Bernard Jenkin, the MP for Harwich and North Essex. Yer man Bernie wanted some finer local Wivenhoe details ahead of a meeting about the delayed facility.

Here’s hoping Wivenhoe is still in good health.

But failing that, then there’s always the final resting place of the cemetery along Rectory Road. It’s not quite the Plan B for the Health Centre confusion, but rest easy, coffin dodgers - a Plan C is in place.

Put bluntly, WTC is running rather short on burial space. That’s what happens when a town is allowed to expand from a population of 2,000 to 10,000 over a twenty-five year period [said the Wivenhoe newcomer. Arf.]

The solution from WTC is to stack ‘em up high. The meeting was shown some pictures of what can best be described as a high rise for stiffs. Costing £4,725, the lofty structure allows sixteen individual ashes to be contained within.

It gives a new meaning to the phrase Ashes to Ashes.

In the blink of a heartbeat (steady) and WTC unanimously agreed to purchase the tower block for the dearly departed. To his credit, Cllr Read noted concern that the high rise should be made more personal.

Back in the land of the living and the William Loveless Hall Working Party reported back on grand plans to add a permanent backdrop to the stage. A local artist has been approached [sorry - didn't catch your name] and has returned with a truly splendid design to be put in place.

The artwork catches the view from Anchor Hill looking up. The Tudor Tea Rooms and On the Corner Cafe even get a nice little bit of free advertising. The painting really is rather good [said he with a CSE Grade 3 in Art.]

WTC formally passed the motion commission the full-scale painting. A backdrop will also be provided, for use when local groups need a more neutral background for various productions.

The Estates Working Party confirmed the date of 27th August for a 2pm unveiling for a much welcome plaque for Joan Hickson. This will be formally unveiled on Rose Lane, the site of the former actress’ home address.

Wivenhoe Woods Working Party reported back on a recent successful clearing of Ferry Marsh, with six new volunteers very kindly giving up their evening. It was noted that the mid-week scheduling of this event seems to be staged at a more convenient time.

Mr Mayor provided a written statement of his formal duties over the past month. These included a rare victory for the Mayor’s cricket team over Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club. It was claimed this was a first in living memory.

Still waiting in the wings - possibly with the intention of simply correcting the record - and Cllr Ford corrected the minutes by stating that the WTC team also triumphed during his period of Mayoral civic service.

Mayor Needham also reported that he had:

“Recorded a broadcast of Wiv Chat for Radio Wivenhoe.”

Well I never.

On to more serious matters with Community Safety and Police. Three matters were reported back to WTC:

(i) Lorries accessing Cook’s shipyard continue to break the restrictions governing their route down to the Quay. Part of the stipulation is that there is a 9am curfew. Any local resident who witness a breach of this is encouraged to take down the registration and report it.

(ii) The recent crime figures for Wivenhoe would appear to show that crime is actually on the increase. Don’t have nightmares - it seems that more crimes are being reported, hence the spike in crime stats.

(iii) Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Watch has been formally approached by Colchester Neighbourhood Watch to merge. This approach was politely turned down. Long live localism.

Meanwhile, in North Essex Estuary Boating News [didn't get the full name of the specific committee] and this is rather interesting: Brightlingsea Harbour has ambitions to run a new ferry service, running along the estuary route of Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe, Rowehedge and the Hythe.

This is not seen as a threat to the existing (and most excellent) Wivenhoe, Fingringhoe and Rowhedge Ferry - the Brightlingsea Harbour boys want to work together with the current crew. European funding is currently being sourced.

The fine Town Clerk then reported of repairs having been carried out to the damaged basketball court. A vandalised bench has also been repaired.

Finance noted the formal name change of the Mayor’s Charity Fund to the Mayor’s Appeal Fund. No charitable status, yet no less worthy.

And then finally Highways heard how the Paget Road railway crossing is going to be closed as from 26th July for an unspecified period whilst maintenance is carried out. Which should at least save half a dozen wandering cats.

The meeting then cleared the public gallery (um, the good Cllr Ford, his son and myself) to discuss some business in private. No worries. With a chaperone of smiling Steve to see me safely back to base, we talked about them, as they no doubt talked about us.

Only joking.

Se ya next month, Comrades.

Anyone seen the return of the Un-Environment Agency around Wivenhoe?

Nope - thought not.

The threatened second mass culling of our unique North Essex natural wildlife habitat failed to materialise. I like to put it down the level of vocal resistance that Wivenhoe locals laid upon the EA after the first wave of destruction.

It was probably more likely however that the bully boys of the EA are just biding their time until returning with the bulldozers. My message to dog walkers, do-gooders and general hippy green sorts such as myself is: now is not a time to drop your guard, Comrades.

I did spot a somewhat muted attempt by the EA to carry out further damage down towards the Hythe early one morning at the start of the month. Handheld hedge style trimmers were in place. It was all rather prim and proper, and a far cry from the February mass destruction of the sea wall.

Meanwhile, correspondence has reached me between various Wivenhoe locals and Richard Houghton, the Flood Risk Management Manager at the EA. It is a detailed (and ultimately flawed) argument offered up by Richard.

Essentially he is saying that a Middle England style rolling green grass lawn is the stated aim in all of this EA vandalism. To protect our habitat then we need to cut it down:

“The sea walls in Essex protect over forty thousand properties and a significant number of hectares of agricultural land from the devastating impacts of tidal flooding.”

Um, so does that brute of a flood barrier that was put up as part of a project that would allow the natural sea walls to continue to grow and add some unique natural local character.

Whoops.

Richards outlines in the letters that I have seen the exact cost of cutting back all that is green and good around these parts. It is enough to (hopefully) make a penny pinching Blue Rinse sort resort to traditional Conservative concerns about the public purse:

“The works are being funded from our routine maintenance budget for the financial year 2011-12. The total maintenance budget for flood risk management in Essex this year is £3.8 million, and for the whole Anglian region, this figure is £12.4 million.”

Woh. That’s some routine figures that we are talking here. The refurbishment of the flood barrier that is scheduled for the summer of 2013 is being undertaken with a budget of £500,000.

And speaking of the science, Richard explains the white lab coat reasons behind the destruction:

“We are advised by the Flood Hazard Research Centre on standards of service for man made flood defences and follow their recommendations. A good cover of grass or short vegetation provides valuable surface protection for earth embankments. It reduces or prevents slope erosion and helps extend the time that an embankment can resist erosion from over-topping and breaching during extreme flood events.”

It also allows the nearby cows to continue the grazing along the sea wall, as has been the case of late. A herd of yer finest Hereford Heifers, stomping and s***ing along the sea wall, ‘aint exactly going to build up the defences.

Turning Wivenhoe into the bowling green of North Essex is something which does indeed bring to mind visions of men in white lab coats flapping around.

Nurse!

Richard adds:

“Vermin and burrowing animals [cows?] are attracted to the habitat offered by scrub growth and low tree vegetation. Their actions can severely weaken man-made earth flood embankments that protect low lying properties such as those in and around Wivenhoe.”

Which begs the not unrelated question as to why the chuffers are we continuing to build properties such as these? At eighty years of age, Peter Green was wise enough to remind me during Wiv Chat that Cook’s Phase 3 is actually being built upon a flooded plain.

As for the “vermin and burrowing animals?” Wivenhoe News did an ACE investigative journo job in the last issue, becoming slightly obsessed, as one does, with badgers.

In a similar EA Q & A exercise, when pressed upon the badger issue (blimey) the response came back:

“No – there were no badgers found for the Wivenhoe work.”

Richard restates in the letters I have recently seen the guilt trip exercise of re-planting trees to make up for the vandalism:

“We have compensatory tree planting sites in Essex. Please see the documents on the enclosed disk.”

Back to Wivenhoe New once again, and we find that bugger all is planned for Wivenhoe:

“Q. Are any of the proposed sites for compensatory replanting located in the Wivenhoe area?

A: No. Wivenhoe Marsh has found to be unsuitable.”

Some superb questions have been directed at the EA in many of the letters of correspondence that I have now seen. When pressed to name an example of an Essex sea wall that has failed due to the presence of woody growth, Richard adds some historical (and flawed) perspective:

“Some Essex defences have been damaged due to heavy woody growth and needed repairing to ensure failures are prevented.”

And the last example of this was exactly when…?

“The last defence failures of the Essex Coast occurred during a surge tide in 1968. As the evidence is washed away when the wall breaches, we have no records as to the mode of failure of these sites.”

Which is all rather convenient, not to mention all rather pre-Wivenhoe Flood Barrier.

Areas where compensatory planting is taking place are then listed as Canvey Island, Althorne Lake, Brightlingsea East End Green, Burnham-on-Crouch, Little Oakley and Cattawade.

But not Wivenhoe. We are unique in oh so many ways. Which is why a singular, uniformed and one size fits all approach to flood management is so floored around the Colne estuary. What might work down the coast at Canvey bares bugger all resemblance to the changing coastline up towards North Essex.

If a rational, objective and scientific argument that is unique to Wivenhoe could be presented - and preferably before the bully boys move in again - then I believe that many Wivenhoe locals would be a bit more understanding when the bulldozers next turn up overnight.

Further dialogue with Richard Houghton is available via email at [email protected], or through a phone call on 01473 706720.

I’m off out badger hunting.

A steamy and sultry wander back towards Wivenhoe early on Monday morning - don’t ask - perfect for capturing the midsummer haze, just as it was starting to settle along the muddy banks of the Colne.

This short stretch continues to amaze me each morning. Having commuted (of sorts) along the Trail for almost nine months, a day doesn’t go by when I fail to notice something new.

Nature has a remarkable way of uprooting and surpassing all that has grown before. This process is accelerated especially around this wonderful midsummer time of the year.

Yeah - I’m turning into an old hippy.

It can’t be long before I put on the wetsuit and forsake the morning indoor swim for a muddy Colne dip. I keep on picking up advice - some sound, some just plain silly.

Just Do It, Jase.

The slideshow above serves as the companion piece to accompany my bicycle ride up the Trail towards the Hythe. Cycling / walking / swimming along the North Essex estuary wilds - THIS is exactly why we moved out to these parts.

Perfect.

Full flickr set over here.

When Saturday Comes and all you want to do with your Wivenhoe weekend is to read the papers in bed, take an afternoon wander down to the Quay and then stumble out of The Station sometime before the National Lottery winners are announced.

No chance.

To the Farmer’s Market! …was the rallying call to kick start the weekend for @AnnaJCowen and I. The Congregational Hall had the usual fine local produce on sale, as well as some charming conversations with traders who like to talk, rather than concentrate on the hard sell.

We didn’t come out with a wicker basket brimming with North Essex country fare, but a rucksack stuffed full of sausage meat and beetroot. These will come in handy, believe me.

The Wivenhoe Community Safety Neighbourhood Watch Group also had representation. It’s good to be a local busy body etc, but don’t have nightmares. The recent police crime map for this area in April may look a little alarming, but out of the eleven incidents of violent crime, only four were reported in Wivenhoe, with the remaining seven coming from our friends over in Rowhedge.

must.pay.a.trip.to.rowhedge.later.in.the.day

But first off, how about keeping up the busy body theme and poking yer face around local garages?

Blimey.

Nope, it’s not a new obsessive architectural peccadillo that is affecting the North Essex estuary, but the Grand Garage Trail kindly organised by the good folk of St Mary’s Church.

Hurrah!

Originally started by Cansdale and Ross under the Wivenhoe Braderie banner two years ago, the Grand Garage Trail is now a glorified car boot sale taking place around the town.

Maps were purchased the day before, and then much like the splendid Open Gardens of last month, we wandered around Wivenhoe and were welcomed into the properties of various folk around the town.

The event was as broad and as bonkers as you wanted it to be. Many garages were doing great business in re-selling on children’s toys that have been outgrown. Local art also featured heavily. I was disappointed in not being able to walk away with the underground safe on sale along the High Street.

It all got a little lost as we wandered into the Loveless Hall by mistake - often the best way to wander into the Loveless Hall - and found that we had strayed into a separate sale organised by the Colchester Twins Club.

Double cripes.

Cake was on hand to calm us down, and to give us a kick up the backside to take on the remaining Grand Garage Trail down towards the Quay.

A quick chat at Curiosity, and we reflected on the quality of the stock sold within. But time and tide wait for no Grand Garage Trailers, and as we exited left along Station Road, we saw that the legendary Grand Garage dinghy has been bought, and was already being prepared for a launch at the Rowhedge Regatta later in the day.

No worries.

The girl and I made up for our nautical loss with some lovely bargains of our own. A pair of panniers, a darts board, a kitchen chair and a chopping board (free from Builder Mark, natch) - all clocked in at precisely £10.

The panniers in particular were quite a find - the conversation that followed was priceless. It seems that I’m not alone with my Moulton collection within Wivenhoe.

The town undoubtedly has many talents, but topping the list for me is the claim to fame of the chap I purchased the panniers off - he only test rode the original Moultons back in the day.

Chapeau!

Seedy exchanges followed, with an ill met by iPhone fading light presentation of the bonkers multi-coloured Moulton. I’ve still to actually ride the machine around the town. @AnnaJCowen reckons that even the ‘homosexual meets the beast‘ hybrid of the design is a little risqué, even for Wivenhoe.

Was that the day done, Comrades?

Nope - we’ve barely started. Booze had yet to feature, and there’s nothing I like more than a Wivenhoe lunchtime tipple whilst admiring quality local artwork and enjoying local conversations.

To the Wivenhoe Gallery! …etc for the opening of the Spanish Paintings exhibition by local artists Michael and Julia. Running for two weeks down at the Wivenhoe Business Centre, the rich Mediterranean landscapes are most certainly worthy of a visit.

The love of the Spanish culture came across in the artwork, and the conversation that followed with Michael and Julia. I pressed them on the possibilities for their future muse, and was pleased to hear that Wivenhoe landscape painting is certainly a work in progress.

With my lunchtime muse of red wine having fired me up, I was ready to stand on the edge of the Quay, survey the Rose and Crown customers and gaze out with a glazed over eye across the estuary and declare:

“To Rowhedge!”

Oh Lordy.

The fighting talk of the red plonk has sunk many a galleon, but not the Wivenhoe and Rowhedge Ferry. This was Regatta Day for that other lot on the opposite banks of the Colne. It only seemed polite to turn up and see how our near neighbours can put on a party.

We weren’t alone in our Wivenhoe wanderings. It seemed that half of the town had pitched up at either The Anchor or The Albion, observing the sea crafts of differing sizes sail past. There was always the possibility of some riverside rubbernecking as a particularly graceful smack came close to cutting up a kayak.

Whoops.

Crabbing, as ever, was incredibly popular. The hit and miss weather seemed to fit perfectly with the Dark Side theme. With the waters of the Colne disappearing faster than my pint of Kent Best, concern soon turned towards how the chuffers we could get back to base.

No one wants to be stranded in Rowhedge on a Saturday evening, but the Kent Best booze was making a decent job of damage limitation. A catch up with the fine @Colchester101 - whoops there goes another pier, whoops there goes another pint of beer, etc.

Anything that Wivenhoe can do, Rowhedge of course likes to think that it can do better. We don’t like to talk about *shhh* the May Fair police helicopter, and I’m sure Rowhedge folk were a little weary of the chopper action overhead on Saturday.

I’m not usually one to deal with rumours (oh no, not me, Sireee…) but talk did turn to the possible return of the random Rowhedge tired and emotional swimmer.

Oh Lordy.

One thing that Rowhedge definitely does do better than Wivenhoe is to assemble together a group of local males who then tug away on a large rope in tandem.

“We’re from Wivenhoe - we drink beer, not pull rope” was the rallying cry that was later rolled out to justify the slip slidin’ spectacle of the Wivenhoe Tug of War team.

The Rowhedge chaps may be great at tugging away, but no so brilliant on the booze front. Chundering quayside just ahead of the grand Tug of War final is not quite dignified estuary etiquette, Sir.

With the estuary water now looking as limp as the Wivenhoe tug of war team effort (said the poncey bloke watching from the sidelines…) contingency plans were needed for the Great Escape.

Cometh the hour, cometh the good @Colchester101, who kindly drove us all the way down to the Hythe, and then back up Clingoe Hill once again. There was to be one more surprise waiting for us back at base - a new houseguest staying in the shed.

Meowww.

Moving Image was on our Saturday evening radar. Ever one to keep it local, the screening of Fishtank was trumped by a lovely, lovely hyperlocal invite to… go round next door for an evening of games and booze.

Brilliant!

And so just another quiet Wivenhoe weekend, you say?

Wivenhoe - you are wearing me out. But you wear it out oh so well.

Full flickr stream over here.

The summer season is upon is - Rose & Crown booze, Regattas (Rowhedge this weekend) and a rumour I hear of Jazz on the Quay on 26th June. Plus there’s also the wonderful Water Marks, the annual Wivenhoe Summer Exhibition at The Nottage.

Local artists Pru Green, Alison Stockmarr and Barbara Peirson are exhibiting in the splendour of the old building, each Sunday from 2 - 5pm, all the way through until 11th September.

It’s a three pronged artistic assault covering ceramics, salvaging & stitching and more traditional oil based landscape paintings. Individually the artwork is excellence - collectively it adds a strong Wivenhoe theme across the different mediums.

What I really liked about Water Marks is that the Nottage has been laid out not with each artist in isolation in each corner, but the hat trick of talent is exhibited together.

More than the sum of the parts etc, with each item of art enhancing the others around them. If this was the Tate Modern then the awful ‘multi-media installation’ artistic twaddle might be banded about.

Thankfully this is Wivenhoe; Water Marks is a collection of local talent working together.

Plus you get to look around the Nottage, always something of a local treat. The smell of history literally hangs off those walls - or maybe that was just the high tide drifting in the aroma of the Pooh Factory upstream from the Hythe?

Either way, I’m always a sucker for all things maritime - much like Water Marks itself. This is an exhibition that could only come out of Wivenhoe. You’ll recognise local landmarks within the work, and see them through a different perspective.

A return visit is likely - probably with booze, hopefully with wallet.

May Fair 2011 - how was it for you? The music, the conversations and the friendships made it fantastic for me. The police sirens late in the day did put a bit of a downer on the experience. A brief trawl through twitter - that ever reliable and factual source of information - shows that *most* folk at May Fair 2011 came away with sunburns and smiles.

Everyone will have their own unique May Fair stories and experiences. You can’t capture the essence of May Fair in a throwaway blog post - you probably wouldn’t want to either.

May Fair for me was very special. My experiences of the afternoon are unique to me, and this blog post is primarily for my purposes, to capture, document and remember what was something of a rather special afternoon.

Along with @AnnaJCowen and the pneumatic recovering house guest, I came close to being up the wotsit creek without a paddle. We were keen to show the pneumatic recovering house guest the delights of the Rowhedge Ferry. Time and tide wait for no May Fair man. Swimming to the KGV almost became a possibility.

Midday tea in the Rowhedge Heritage Hut was when we first heard the chords strike up across the Colne. Time to board the Ferry back to base, time to join the queue of twenty, thirty, forty ferry passengers, all with the same idea.

Whoops.

The good skipper had the foresight to make short shuttle runs across to Ferry Marsh. But with the water fast disappearing, the roundabout route back to the Quay was required.

We did the mental maths and worked out that we may just make the final sail before the ferry became stranded. The boat had become something of a booze cruise, with Rowhedge folk crossing the Colne with boxes of beer.

Anything to declare, Sir? We really should tax that other lot once they land in Wivenhoe.

Back on dry land and we snaked our way around the station, over the foot bridge and towards the KGV and beyond. By 1pm and it was clear that May Fair 2011 was simply MASSIVE.

We missed local lad Lou Terry up on the Sunrise Stage, such was the effort involved to walk from one end of the KGV to the other. An age demographic was clearly in place - fresh-faced yoof were down towards the rear of the field, with the more mature crowd camping out at the top. I have no shame in stating that I was two thirds up, with a preference to continue the ageing process.

Conversations followed - an ever present smiling Mr Mayor and the Lady Mayor, as well as two separate catch ups with middle aged men whom I usually associate with my semi-naked experiences every morning in a steam room out towards the Hythe.

Hot pants appeared to be the May Fair fashion accessory for this spring. I don’t think I’ve got the legs to carry it off, but then again I would also struggle with the balding Goth look, another fashion favourite for 2011.

Transition Town Wivenhoe, Wivenhoe in Bloom, Moving Image - all the great and good of local groups were out in force. The pneumatic recovering house guest came close to a cure in the Healing Field. I pitched in with a rather random and unexpected offer for work with a local organisation.

I’m not sure what happened to the Main Stage running order, but we took up a strategic position towards the right, just in time to catch the ace @AdyJohnsonUK. A shortened set from Colchester’s finest, but one that seemed perfect for the occasion.

Pink Flamingo peaked as MY May Fair moment. Only a couple of months earlier I had been privileged to catch Ady singing a short secret set @15QueenStreet. Seeing the songs from the Worry Doll album being transferred to the Wivenhoe May Fair, and still working with all the intimacy from earlier, had to be a highlight.

The pneumatic recovering house guest had to head back to the big city, and so our May Fair was cut short around 5pm. We walked back down towards the train station, seeing Wivenhoe Wood become a temporary toilet for the afternoon. Not great but hey - at least the greenery got a well needed watering.

The first police sirens started soon after, and then whilst back at base catching the close of play at the cricket, the helicopter action started. I didn’t personally witness anything, and so I’m not going to let it get in the way of MY May Fair 2011.

However if I were in the HEADLINE act, CAV OK, I’d be pretty peeved to be told at the last minute that the set has been cancelled.

Seeing this rather fine chap below wave us a Wivenhoe farewell is the memory that I would like to leave with.

*Heads up Mr Mule

Full flickr set over here.

Good news - re-growth has begun on the hedgerows that the Environment Agency so brutally vandalised back at the start of the year.

You may remember how the excuse of protecting the sea wall from burrowing rabbits (nope - me neither) was put up as the justification for the savage destruction of our beautiful local walkways. Strange then that the diggers left in place the roots of the rosehips, blackberry and hawthorn bushes.

Unlike the Environment Agency, Mother Nature has all the answers when it comes to the natural way of protecting our environmental heritage. A Mediterranean month of April in Wivenhoe (steady) and the first signs are starting to show of re-growth along the walkway past the Sailing Club and out towards the Creek.

Even the manufactured marshland - the mess made by the digger’s caterpillar tyres - is starting to heal. No sign of re-growth here, but at least the mud has hardened and looks slightly more pleasant on the eye.

Heading back in the opposite direction towards the Hythe, and it is a similar celebratory spring story along the Wivenhoe Trail. The Environment Agency decided to butcher the bushes all the way down to the University Quays accommodation, leaving a very exposed and bleak landscape.

Now I’m not great identifier of all that is good and green (um, it’s grass, isn’t it?) but some rather charming weeds with white flowers are now lining either side of the Trail out of the wooded area, three, four deep, greeting you as though you are Royalty as you cycle along.

Which is some ways, Comrades, we all are, of course.

The next challenge is to make sure that the Environment Agency isn’t given the opportunity to devastate our landscape with such ease ever again. A formal letter of warning (and it was a bloody warning) was sent to Wivenhoe Town Council last August, ahead of the vandalism.

This was slept on, with the diggers surprising councillors, and locals, with the unannounced speed of the devastation some six months later. I like to think that having seen the reaction to the folly of this mass enforced policy, Wivenhoe won’t give the diggers such an easy ride, should they return around these parts once again.

Now then - keep it a secret, but *shhh* - I’ve found a supply of hawthorns that should be ripe with rosehips in six months time. Don’t tell the Environment Agency; do tell however those nice folk from Transition Town Wivenhoe who are putting together a Free Fruit Map of the area.