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Serving Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe and Nearby Villages, another fortnight passes and whaddya know - it’s only a personal delivery of the esteemed Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Hurrah!

I often worry about those mystical Nearby Villages. I often worry about Brightlingsea, but for completely different reasons. It’s a fine job that the Chronicle does in covering a news patch (get you) that stretches out from the University all the way across to the coast.

Caught up in-between of course are those Nearby Village. Some may say the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea. That’s the high price to pay for living in Alresford, Comrades.

But anyway - applying a BIG BLACK MARKER to all the Brightlingsea and Nearby Villages news pieces [as ever - start yer own hyperlocal blog] and what are we left with within the Wivenhoe news beat?

Um…?

Not a great deal for this fortnight, folks. Wivenhoe has been closed this weekend. That’s what Latitude does for a small estuary fishing town. But flicking through the newsprint pages, and those hyperlocal Wivenhoe news stories are there to be treasured, much in the same way as finding a reduced price loaf of harvest grain up at the Co-op.

I’ve been a hungry man of late - both for local gossip and harvest grain.

Sailing into town this weekend (see what I have done there?) is of course the Wivenhoe Regatta. Scoop Scarpenter recognises this with the snappy p.3 headline of:

The Wivenhoe Regatta

Tell It Like It Is, my good man.

“The Wivenhoe Regatta will start this year on the evening of Friday 22nd July with a pram race in the lower part of the town, and with main maritime and quayside activities on Saturday 23rd July.

Pram racing will start at 7:15pm outside The Station pub and will finish at the Black Buoy, with “mother and baby” having to drink half a pint of beer at all the pubs in lower Wivenhoe.”

Cripes.

I hope we’re not including The Legion, the Colne Social Club, the Sailing Club… etc.

“High tide is at 6pm and the maritime activities commence at 4pm. These will include a raft race, several rowing races and barge and smack races.”

And *possibly* some bonkers bloke still trying to work out how best to paddle his bloody kayak.

Blimey.

If you’re relying upon more traditional transport on Regatta day, then take the p.4 advice of Scoop, when he informs us:

The 74 Isn’t the Same Anymore

Tell It Like… blah blah blah…

“Recently the 74 bus route between Colchester and Clacton underwent a time saving alteration. It now runs along Rectory Road, Wivenhoe and misses out The Avenue and Belle Vue Road.”

It also leaves plenty of passengers, both elderly and young, somewhat stranded. Donctha just love this time saving progress?

But wait! What’s this?

Just as you start to organise a hike across half of the town in order to meet your loved one (s) off the No. 74 from Clacton (Kiss Me Quick, Comrades) and Scoop rather helpfully adds:

“However, it’s not quite as simple as that. On Sundays and during the evening after 7pm it will continue to run on the old route along The Avenue and Belle Vue Road.

Talk about a Magical Mystery Tour. I wonder what our friends from Nearby Villages make of it all?

The BEST headline in The Chronicle this fortnight of course goes to:

Wivenhoe Beavers Bury a Time Capsule

*straight face, Jase. straight face*

“As part of the activities nationally to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Beavers Scouts, an organisation for boys and girls 6 to 8 years of age [ah - I see...] the 1st Wivenhoe Beavers marked the event recently by burying a time capsule locally.”

And jolly smart and smiling the little chaps and chappesses look in the photo call as well.

“Contained in the capsule were various items including letters from the children about facilities and items they have now, but were not available for youngsters of their age 25 years ago.”

Like the 74 bus?

Whoops.

But for all the bad jokes, it’s better to leave it to the (semi) professional big boys and girls:

Comedy Time at Wivenhoe

I think you know what’s coming, chuckle friends…

“The next meeting of Wivenhoe’s very own comedy club, the Wivenhoe Funny Farm, will be held on Thursday 21st July [um, day of publishing for this blog post...]

The line-up will include previews from this year’s Edinburgh Festival with performances by Kevin Shepherd and Catie Wilkins. As usual the club night will be held in Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club’s pavilion, Rectory Road. Doors open at 7pm for an 8pm start.”

Splendid.

On a similar theme:

An Afternoon of Live Music, muses upon:

“An afternoon of live music and fun for all the family will be provided at Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club on Sunday 24th July. The event will run from 1pm to 6pm and music will be provided by the bands Bouncing Off Concrete and Praying Mantis.

“Tickets are strictly limited, no sales on the gate. They can be purchased at the Horse and Groom pub or at the cricket club on match days.”

Anything else to add? Alresford? Elmstead Market? Little Bentley?

So near, yet so far.

Different world, Comrades. Different World.

To the Town Council Offices on a miserable Monday evening. The weather didn’t reflect my mood - who can fail to feel uplifted at the prospect of an hour or so of formal civic discussion?

Mr Mayor, or so it would seem.

An apology of absence (he’s a VERY busy fella, donctha know…) and instead we were under the splendid stewardship of the good Lady Deputy Mayor, Councillor Kraft.

Ruling as the Matriarch of Wivenhoe for the evening, the Lady Deputy Mayor ran a tight ship. It wasn’t quite as tight as her crab line from the day before at down at the Quay, but the bait of WTC mints proved too much for me to resist once again.

First off was the formal business of welcoming the two new Wivenhoe Town Councillors - Cllr Asa Aldis and Cllr Nick Tile. The new blood / bait have very kindly stepped forward and been vigorously interviewed as co-opted Cllrs.

We wish them well.

Correspondence from the public kicked off the conversation. High praise for Wivenhoe in Bloom came from Brian Thomas, noting the co-operation between the local green fingered gardening group and WTC in providing such a wonderful display outside by the Co-op / Jardine / Eyecare Wivenhoe - Bermuda Triangle.

Reports from the local political representatives followed. Cllr Julie Young, Labour’s representative for Colchester on Essex County Council (not THE representative, but not too far off either, Comrades) has had a busy month:

“We held a Scrutiny meeting last week. It was revealed that ECC has an UNDER spend of £480,000 for the previous financial year.”

Woh.

Run that through me once again, Comrade…

An UNDER spend of close to half a cool million. The good Cllr Young is pitching in to try and take £10k of this to spend on new toilets up at Broad Lane. I know a man who will feel quite flushed with that idea.

Cllr Young continued:

“The 20mph zone for lower Wivenhoe is set to come into operation on 25th July.”

Hurrah!

All those flash Tom, Dick and Harry’s racing through the town in their poncey sports cars will hopefully soon be thwarted. Speaking of which:

“We held a Full Council meeting last Tuesday where a motion was passed not to pay the allowance to the disgraced and jailed Lord Hangingfield, the former Leader of Essex County Council.”

This matter is NOT related to the £480,000 UNDER spend, I understand.

Cllr Young was keen to put on the record that she personally doesn’t take any freebie foreign trips that may come her way as part of the political cut and thrust. That’s what the 74 bus is for, Comrades.

With the Red Flag still flying over the Town Council Offices, the charming Cllr Steve Ford, Labour’s man down in the Quay ward at Colchester Borough Council, was next to update the meeting:

“Colchester Borough Council has now divided up the street service zones. What this means is that St Anne’s, Greenstead and Wivenhoe now has a dedicated team of three street wardens to look after waste issues, etc.”

Which is just as well, seeing as though confusion still surrounds the cutting back of refuse collection from a five day a week to a four days service throughout the Borough:

“A few teething problems have been reported to me in Wivenhoe. Some residents have complained that the rubbish hasn’t been collected by 3pm on Wednesdays, the new day for most of lower Wivenhoe. It may be that 5pm is now the latest that the bins will be collected in the Borough.”

Um, rubbish!

At least it means an end to that early morning 7am hike out in the jim jams to separate the leftovers from the curry incident from the night before.

On planning matters, Cllr Ford added:

“An application has now been submitted to knock down the old St John’s Ambulance building on Chapel Road, and then to build a new one bedroom / one studio facility. Questions need to be asked if this will actually enhance the existing structures on the street.”

Indeed they will. And indeed they were, later on in the meeting. This also leads to the presumption (NEVER presume, Jase) that the land has been secured by the private bidder, rather than the local group that was trying to purchase the property for community use.

Finally Cllr Ford got in flap over foliage. And quite rightly so:

“I am concerned that a lot of branches and bushes from gardens are being let to overgrow onto the street. These can be a hazard to elderly folk walking around the town. I would ask for all residents to take a responsible approach.”

Hear, hear *cough* lower end of Park Road…

With the business of the Borough and County Cllr’s covered (no Love Me I’m a Liberal lot this month; some scribbled notes came our way from the True Blue Cllr Quarrie) and then it was on to WTC Planning matters.

A date of 4th August has been set to bash the heads together between all thirteen WTC Cllr’s and our four CBC representatives in the two town wards. Nothing to do with political posturing, but simply an issue of co-operation when it comes to divvying up the dirty dosh that is Section 106 wonga.

This is basically a legal back hander when corporate organisations such as the University, or Taylor Wimpey, want to roll out its latest development. You scratch my back, we’ll close Clingoe Hill for a month, build private residential property and cover it up all in the name of International Conflict Resolution.

Cripes.

Previously the brown envelopes have been very a much a north and south issue, allocated on a boundary basis to either the Cross or Quay wards. The joined up thinking now is for co-operation to see where in Wivenhoe the money can best be best allocated.

Which all sounds like the best outcome for what can be a very underhand business.

Which brings us nicely to Cook’s Shipyard. The good Cllr Sinclair has been going through the (as yet unsigned) lease with all the dedication of a man that is as financially frugal as he is friendly.

“It appears that the supply of electricity and water down in the dry dock is something that WTC is expected to not only provide, but also to pay for. We need to consider this…”

But for all the talk of developments rolling out faster than the delayed 9:23 to Liverpool Street, it was a return to one particular piece of planning that still appears to be slightly off the rails:

The proposed new Health Centre.

Cripes.

Mr Mayor has held a “constructive” phone conversation with Bernard Jenkin, the MP for Harwich and North Essex. Yer man Bernie wanted some finer local Wivenhoe details ahead of a meeting about the delayed facility.

Here’s hoping Wivenhoe is still in good health.

But failing that, then there’s always the final resting place of the cemetery along Rectory Road. It’s not quite the Plan B for the Health Centre confusion, but rest easy, coffin dodgers - a Plan C is in place.

Put bluntly, WTC is running rather short on burial space. That’s what happens when a town is allowed to expand from a population of 2,000 to 10,000 over a twenty-five year period [said the Wivenhoe newcomer. Arf.]

The solution from WTC is to stack ‘em up high. The meeting was shown some pictures of what can best be described as a high rise for stiffs. Costing £4,725, the lofty structure allows sixteen individual ashes to be contained within.

It gives a new meaning to the phrase Ashes to Ashes.

In the blink of a heartbeat (steady) and WTC unanimously agreed to purchase the tower block for the dearly departed. To his credit, Cllr Read noted concern that the high rise should be made more personal.

Back in the land of the living and the William Loveless Hall Working Party reported back on grand plans to add a permanent backdrop to the stage. A local artist has been approached [sorry - didn't catch your name] and has returned with a truly splendid design to be put in place.

The artwork catches the view from Anchor Hill looking up. The Tudor Tea Rooms and On the Corner Cafe even get a nice little bit of free advertising. The painting really is rather good [said he with a CSE Grade 3 in Art.]

WTC formally passed the motion commission the full-scale painting. A backdrop will also be provided, for use when local groups need a more neutral background for various productions.

The Estates Working Party confirmed the date of 27th August for a 2pm unveiling for a much welcome plaque for Joan Hickson. This will be formally unveiled on Rose Lane, the site of the former actress’ home address.

Wivenhoe Woods Working Party reported back on a recent successful clearing of Ferry Marsh, with six new volunteers very kindly giving up their evening. It was noted that the mid-week scheduling of this event seems to be staged at a more convenient time.

Mr Mayor provided a written statement of his formal duties over the past month. These included a rare victory for the Mayor’s cricket team over Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club. It was claimed this was a first in living memory.

Still waiting in the wings - possibly with the intention of simply correcting the record - and Cllr Ford corrected the minutes by stating that the WTC team also triumphed during his period of Mayoral civic service.

Mayor Needham also reported that he had:

“Recorded a broadcast of Wiv Chat for Radio Wivenhoe.”

Well I never.

On to more serious matters with Community Safety and Police. Three matters were reported back to WTC:

(i) Lorries accessing Cook’s shipyard continue to break the restrictions governing their route down to the Quay. Part of the stipulation is that there is a 9am curfew. Any local resident who witness a breach of this is encouraged to take down the registration and report it.

(ii) The recent crime figures for Wivenhoe would appear to show that crime is actually on the increase. Don’t have nightmares - it seems that more crimes are being reported, hence the spike in crime stats.

(iii) Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Watch has been formally approached by Colchester Neighbourhood Watch to merge. This approach was politely turned down. Long live localism.

Meanwhile, in North Essex Estuary Boating News [didn't get the full name of the specific committee] and this is rather interesting: Brightlingsea Harbour has ambitions to run a new ferry service, running along the estuary route of Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe, Rowehedge and the Hythe.

This is not seen as a threat to the existing (and most excellent) Wivenhoe, Fingringhoe and Rowhedge Ferry - the Brightlingsea Harbour boys want to work together with the current crew. European funding is currently being sourced.

The fine Town Clerk then reported of repairs having been carried out to the damaged basketball court. A vandalised bench has also been repaired.

Finance noted the formal name change of the Mayor’s Charity Fund to the Mayor’s Appeal Fund. No charitable status, yet no less worthy.

And then finally Highways heard how the Paget Road railway crossing is going to be closed as from 26th July for an unspecified period whilst maintenance is carried out. Which should at least save half a dozen wandering cats.

The meeting then cleared the public gallery (um, the good Cllr Ford, his son and myself) to discuss some business in private. No worries. With a chaperone of smiling Steve to see me safely back to base, we talked about them, as they no doubt talked about us.

Only joking.

Se ya next month, Comrades.

The sixth Wiv Chat recording is something slightly different. Having had a historical approach to the previous recordings, my conversation with Marika Footring looks ahead to the first staging of a new event in the Wivenhoe calendar - the St Mary’s Church Ale.

Chin chin.

There is still a fascinating historical story here. We talk about the origins of the Church Ale and how they emerged during Mediaeval times as a means to help bond the community together. There really couldn’t be a more suited location to resurrect the Church Ale than Wivenhoe.

As Marika explains during our recording, Ales took the form of many different guises during Medieval times:

“The Church Ale, held to encourage parishioners to come and pay their tithes and so to help pay for the upkeep of the church building; the Bride Ale, benefited a newly married couple; the Clerk Ale, to support the impoverished curate.”

But it’s not all about the booze. First off here are the basics:

The St Mary’s Church Ale will take place over the weekend of 17th and 18th September. Essentially it is a celebration of the community involving a grand procession, traditional crafts and… ale. The event is free to attend, with any money raised being used to help maintain the upkeep of St Mary’s.

We talk about the events planned for the Church Ale during our chat. Mr Mayor will lead a Medieval procession from the KGV down to St Mary’s. A costume competition is in place for the kids, and traditional crafts such as rope making will be available to experience.

Oh - and there will be beer, very kindly brewed from the local Sticklegs Brewery at Elmstead Market.

I found the conversation fascinating - Marika has clearly put a tremendous amount of planning and time into the resurrecting the Church Ale. Hopefully the recording can also act as a rallying call - as ever, volunteers are always needed.

A Church Ale open planning meeting has been called for the evening of 24th July, taking place at 7pm in the Black Buoy. Anyone with an interest in the event is urged to attend.

Radio Wivenhoe meanwhile has just completed the end of a highly successful first week of broadcasting. The range of shows has been as diverse as one would expect from Wivenhoe. We’re far from a slick operation - we recognise that. The idea is very much to start with realistic ambitions and see where the project takes us.

Next up on my Wiv Chat schedule is an interview planned with Jon Wiseman, the Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club historian extraordinaire. With Jon’s The Story of Wivenhoe Cricket book about to be published during Cricket Week at Rectory Road, this will be a timely recording.

I’m working my way through my hit list of local folk to chat with. Please do volunteer yourself - or others - if you would like to take part in this project.

To Rectory Road on Thursday evening for the June performance of the Wivenhoe Funny Farm at the Cricket Club. I’ve seen many comedy performances take place out on a cricket square, but never inside a cricket pavilion. I like to think that in a parallel universe, there is an Ashes series being contested within a backstreet comedy club.

The pavilion at Rectory Road is the perfect fit for the Wivenhoe Funny Farm. Arriving fashionably late, @AnnaJCowen and I were guided to our reserved seats (natch) right on the front row.

It wasn’t so much best seats in the house (although they were rather decent) but a seating arrangement that allowed you to count the comedy wrinkle lines underneath the eyelids of each performer.

Many comedians have metaphorically died on stage, and if this was to be the case at the Funny Farm, my front seat position had me well placed to be the undertaker. Or even the assassin.

The atmosphere inside the Funny Farm was lively, but friendly enough so as to not encourage the boozed up comedy heckling bores that have come to characterise the London circuit.

You’ve got be pretty cock sure of yourself to take on a pro. I thought of the perfect riposte to one particular gag, albeit twelve hours later at the start of the working day. The momentum had been lost somewhat.

@HazelFunnyFarm was of course the fine compare for the evening. Taking time out from Wivenhoe Panto script duties / comedy workshops / the general business of paying the bills - Hazel was on fine form.

She needed to be, given that the golden rule of comedy bookings had just been broken: never allow your three comedians to travel in the same car up from London.

Whoops.

With a prompt 8:30 start necessary to keep the show on the road, Hazel took to the stage / darts oche, and opened up the Funny Farm. It was an incredibly brave move, speaking for what could have been five minutes, or equally it could have stretched out to half an hour.

With one eye on the clock and one eye on the front door awaiting the comedy roadshow of the comedians in a car, Hazel effortlessly made light fun of the May Fair (“Tye Die Hard“) the Co-op and poetrywivenhoe.

The joke was on the host for the latter, having just picked up the distinction of a merit award in the poetrywivenhoe annual poetry competition. The first public reading of the anti-poetry piece then took place.

And then just when it looked like this might be an epic effort where one woman keeps the show on the road for a Springsteen style three hour set, the Rectory Road pavilion doors opened and the headcount of comedians quadrupled.

Hurrah!

This was something of a slightly different Funny Farm evening with two joint headliners warming up for their imminent Edinburgh fringe performances.

Juliet Meyers’ I’m Not Spartacus show made the transition instantly from out of the back of the car to the front of the stage at the Cricket Club. The raw and slightly chaotic preparation fitted the jokes perfectly.

I’m Not Spartacus addresses themes connected with political apathy, despite an inner will to change the world. It also fitted the Wivenhoe lifestyle rather well.

Some splendid confusion was added to the conclusion, with an audience re-enactment of a Spartacus theme involving a couple of Wivenhoe locals, a strong Yorkshire accent and a sex analogy featuring snails and oysters.

Follow that, Edinburgh.

A quick beer break, and I soon became aware as to why I am a man of blogs, rather than gags. Finding myself at the urinal next to a very senior member of Wivenhoe Town Council, my observation of “so this is where all the big knobs hang out” had the predictable p*** poor reaction.

Whoops.

Now wash your hands.

David Hannant then showcased a short set, reflecting on life in Devon and life in South London. Somewhere in-between the culture clash is probably Wivenhoe.

The final performance for the evening was from Liam Mullone, trying out ideas for his own Down to the Bone Edinburgh show. Social class observations, the history of religion as told through the life cycle of a teenager and condom jokes - all correct and present.

This was a very welcoming Wivenhoe audience, grateful of the time and effort from the performers to come to our town to preview their Edinburgh performances.

Recordings were made for Radio Wivenhoe - I’m rightfully respecting the wishes of the Funny Farm in sending them on to the promoters first, before publishing here.

Plus edits are required for profanity - **** yeah.

The next Funny Farm takes place on 21st July, as ever at the Cricket Club along Rectory Road. For a town that thankfully doesn’t take itself too seriously, there is plenty to laugh about.

The summer season of films has just been released by Moving Image, the independent community cinema group in Wivenhoe. Five screenings in total will take place, covering cricket, social media and a small town coming of age flick.

Which is more or less my life story.

The Social Network (ACE) The Secret in their Eyes, Life in a Day, The Last Picture Show and Fire in Babylon make up the schedule. The first four films are being screened at the Philip Road *cough* Multiplex.

Fire in Babylon, the documentary about the Windies team of the 70′s and 80′s, is being shown rather appropriately at Rectory Road as part of the Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club cricket festival.

Once again Moving Image is showing great initiative in extending the screenings out into the community. The Philip Road Centre, The Lakeside, the KGV, The Station pub - Wivenhoe seems to have become a network of pop up cinemas overnight.

The Philip Road Centre remains the flagship location (stop sniggering…) Dave Gladden and Amanda Smith have recently put in place some heavyweight lightproof curtains to help with the black out. Rick Cawley has been sourcing a new sound system as well.

Following these summer screenings, Moving Image is taking a short break until September. This has been a fantastic first year for the vision of an independent community cinema in Wivenhoe. As ever, volunteers are always needed…

You can download a copy of the July poster to display around the town over here.

To the Town Council Offices on Monday evening for an eve of Solstice pagan sacrifice, aka as a Wivenhoe Town Council monthly meeting. Peace, love and understanding were in the estuary air, and so was a Conservative Borough Councillor.

Cripes.

Suited and booted (me, not the Conservative Borough Councillor) and arriving fashionably late as ever, it was standing room only around the top civic table. I perched my backside strategically on the edge of the Press table, sitting on the fence and waiting to hear all about parking problems and dog pooh.

Eleven fine members of the public were left scrambling for seats for THE hot ticket in town that night. Bell ringing practice in Wivenhoe is on Wednesdays, Comrades.

Joining the Little People was a rare and welcome appearance from LibDem Councillor Manning of the Cross ward, Conservative Councillor Quarrie of the Quay and the ever present, ever smiling Councillor Ford, Labour’s red flag waving #workingforwivenhoe Comrade also from the Quay.

It’s not quite Never the Twain, but the political hot potato that was on everyone’s lips was when the chuffers will the Borough Councillors get it on with the Town Councillors?

Concern has been expressed by the UNPAID Town Councillors that communication with the big boys and girls of the Borough is not flowing quite as frequently as perhaps it should.

With Section 106 wonga floating around in Wivenhoe - a classic you scratch my back brown envelope time - the Town Councillors want to make sure that Borough Councillors are singing from the same St Mary’s Wivenhoe hymn sheet.

“Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always.”

And whilst yer at it, let’s chuck some cash from the Cook’s payback fund on a much needed new zebra crossing outside of the Co-op, Comrades.

It’s a fun filled life being a Borough Councillor. Sacrifices have to be made, and we’re not talking about the Solstice shindig on the muddy banks of the Colne either. Friday night has been put aside as a possible timeslot when Never the Twain will divvy up the local dosh.

Phew, rock ‘n roll.

A bit of local admin, and then we were straight in with Reports from the Borough and County Councillors.

It’s all about accountability, I tell ya…

Councillor Young, Labour’s representative on Essex County Council (seriously) was unavailable, but had kindly submitted a written report:

“New ways of working with Highways should make it easier for 20mph zones to be introduced around both schools in Wivenhoe. I have been in constant dialogue with Tracy Chapman, the Highways advisor on this.”

Hurrah!

Hang on - Tracy Chapman? 20mph? Talk about a Fast Car, etc.

Sticking with the #workingforwivenhoe Comrades, and Councillor Ford of the Quay was next to address the meeting:

“I called in the planning application for Rectory Hill. I was unhappy with the visibility of the approach, and the drainage. Highways are happy with the visibility, and I have been advised that the drainage concerns are a civil matter.

My concern about the limited parking space was upheld. The developer has hastily added in four extra parking spaces. The planning application has now been passed.”

Up towards the Cross ward and our two LibDem representatives have also been busy with congestion. A rare absence from Councillor Cory (pressing matters on the Policy Panel) but a written submission instead:

“I have been pressing the University about fixing a date for the Clingoe Hill closure ahead of the start of the Knowledge Gateway development. This has now been moved to the start of the summer holidays, to try and limit the congestion. I still expect we will have one - two weeks of aggravation.”

And then some.

Defying the #workingforwivenhoe election period claims that *ahem* “no LibDems are in Wivenhoe,” the Love Me I’m a Liberal lot then had safety in numbers with Councillor Manning of the Cross ward offering up his report to the Town Council:

“I am now sitting on the Planning Committee at Colchester Borough Council. NOTHING will get through.”

Cripes.

“I also have a new notebook to keep track of all the potholes that continue to appear.”

Yeah, and possibly a pitch to become a Glum Councillor as well.

Fine work, though fella.

It’s not quite a case of shuffling the deckchairs on the Titanic, but Conservative Councillor Quarrie of the Quay reported:

“I have been moved off Planning and now sit on Licensing.”

Which must be bad news for the 24/7 nightclub that I had planned for the Quay.

“Parking around the Cook’s development remains a key issue. The road has yet to be adopted by the County Council, which causes problems when we are trying to police it.”

Eight years and counting, my good Councillor…

Also giving cause for concern is the re-routing of the 74 bus route. Peter Kay, the Public Transport Representative explained how First Group, the current franchise operator, has sneakily slipped in a new route, which completely bypasses the town, turning off for Clacton instead.

“How ridiculous,” commented Councillor Kraft. She wasn’t alone in her observations and a polite, but purposeful letter is probably being penned from WTC right now.

The concern is that the move has been poorly advertised. Yoof may catch the bus, expecting a journey into Wivenhoe. With the sudden turn off, they could be out of town and out of funds as they speed off for an impromptu away day at the seaside.

A lengthy conversation then followed about the 20mph zone along the railway bridge at the bottom of the town. I became completely lost; I wasn’t alone.

Speaking in relation to transport matters, Peter Kay then posed the question:

“What does Wivenhoe Town Council propose to do about the annual nonsense that is the Wivenhoe May Fair?”

Cripes.

Awkward.

Having had this curveball thrown at him from across the civic chamber, Mayor Needham composed himself and offered up the reply that the May Fair Committee are working with WTC on future solutions.

Moving on…

Perhaps a bit of Planning to get the party back on track? Former Councillors Liddy and Purdey have been granted special powers (oooh!) to continue the fine work that they have started in representing WTC when it comes to all things Cook’s.

As for that old family favourite of the planned new Wivenhoe Surgery? Councillor Lodge updated with news that the deal is “far from dead.” The PCT has put the plan to the Doctor’s at the old surgery to see if they want to move forward.

Having a pre-defined national NHS policy as a framework in which to make these decisions would be nice.

Hey hoe.

In WTC Personnel news - THIS JUST IN: New litter picker James has impressed so much that he has been awarded a permanent position after the successful completion of his trial.

Hurrah!

Handling the aftermath of May Fair must have been a stern test, and one that James handled magnificently.

Onto the best bit - the Best Value Committee (aka secretly as the pre-WTC prepping meet where the real Council business is decided - behind closes doors - or so the suggestion has been made to me…)

Anyone been to Stanway of late? Apart from offering up a most splendid jazz club, my knowledge of our Colchester near neighbours is somewhat limited. This is all about to change, with WTC proposing to adopt the Stanway system of committees for local governance. The buggers better have the ACE Working Woods Party.

Back to Wivenhoe however, and in a turkeys voting for Christmas move, WTC agreed unanimously to foot the bill to pay for Mayoral badges for ex-Mayor’s.

Mmm…

It’s a badge of honour, and probably on balance one that is a worthy memento for the UNPAID work of Wivenhoe Town Councillors during their hectic year of civil service.

A slight shuffle along the press bench, and it was here that I made my strategic switch to *shhh* the Conservative hot seat.

Cripes.

All the best parties finally kick into action as the night closes in, and as the public chamber emptied and m’Conservative friend departed to ponder why Wivenhoe still hasn’t got a new surgery under the inspiring leadership of the Coalition, I played musical chairs.

Mr Mayor updated WTC about his activities, in what has been a very busy first month in office:

“I have attended sixteen formal events in the past month. The highlights included visiting Wivenhoe Youth Hub [ditto] the parade of the 16 Air Assault Brigade through Colchester, the opening of the *shhh* Quiet Garden at Broomgove Shcool and the Helping Hands AGM.”

Pleased to report that Helping Hands appears to be in sound financial hands, thanks to some very generous donations locally.

Five points then came out of the Community Safety feedback:

(i) Inconsiderate parking remains an issue (even though WTC, after taking police advice, decided not to implement a considerate parking scheme within the town…)

(ii) The local crime figures are low. A slight increase in burglary however has been recorded. The police have suggested that this is possibly a local gang, with laptops and TV’s being the main items going missing.

(iii) Traffic routes to Cook’s Shipyard have deviated.

Eh?

It appears that companies that don’t take the designated route down Valley Road are in danger of losing their contracts. Keep yer eyes peeled around *cough* Queens Road, Comrades.

(iv) Ball games by the Medway are showing some signs for concerns. Elder kids are getting slightly enthusiastic, with the balls entering into the road.

(v) And finally Speed Watch - this is now being rolled out during the school run hours, with a focus upon Bobbitt’s Way and Elmstead Road.

A brief break for the passing around the chamber of the official civic spearmints (receipts available for inspection on request) and then whaddya know - apt timing and Finance.

Quotes are being sourced for a possible asbestos survey for the William Loveless Hall toilets. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it, etc.

In Correspondence news and an appeal for support from WTC for the emerging Radio Wivenhoe group has been received. This is not necessarily financial, but an endorsement.

Granted, with Mr Mayor proudly declaring:

“This is a positive feature for Wivenhoe. It is an aid for further communication and helps to promote the town. We earnestly support Radio Wivenhoe.”

Splendid.

Someone should sign that man up for a guest spot on Wiv Chat.

Oh, hang on…

A rallying call then went out for players to take part in the annual Town Cricket Match on the evening of 13th July at Rectory Road. The official civic quotation that came out on the evening is:

“WE WANT TO WACK THEM.”

Cripes.

Any Other Business?

With the Ten Acres development looking likely to start soon, a new access road will be in place within Wivenhoe. Peter Hill has formally suggested naming this in memory of Dr Ted Palmer.

Plus no WTC meeting can be complete without the perennial Engine Shed rumour.

HONK!!!!

Massive rumour alert: minuted, but not necessarily economical with the truth, the continual pub gossip of the old Engine Shed being bought up by a developer wrapped up the meeting.

Any views?

A stunned silence filled the chamber.

Time for that pagan sacrifice in the Network Rail car park, Comrades?

To the Town Council Office on Monday evening for the first formal meeting of the new Wivenhoe Town Council administration. With four new Councillors sitting around the top table, the pub pecking order etiquette was observed for the seating arrangements:

“Oooh - you can’t sit there, m’ lovely. That’s old Alfie’s seat.”

But old Alfie [MADE UP NAME] is no longer with us, so dip yer bread, young blood.

I strategically took up my place sitting right by the door. You never know when you might want to make an early exist to watch #nffc’s season implode yet again.

Whoops.

Elsewhere around the chamber of fun and it was pleasing to see that all seats in the public gallery were taken. I say ‘public gallery,’ but I of course means the liberal (steady) scattering of chairs around the perimeter of the room.

Was an anarchic late spring Wivenhoe revolution uprising in the air? Um, nope - just the rightly proud family and friends coming along to support the new administration.

D-mob happy and ready to take a well-deserved back seat, Mr Mayor apologised for the non-appearance of the Lady Mayor (impending music duties - that’s fine, Madam) and then listened to a glowing eulogy from Councillor Needham, praising the civic year just passed:

“We made a wonderful decision twelve months ago to elect Councillor Sinclair as our Town Mayor.”

A bottle of something slightly stronger than the Adam’s Ale on the top table was handed over, which will hopefully be sufficient to see Councillor Sinclair through those long Wivenhoe winter nights. A bouquet then followed for the music making Lady Mayor.

It’s a rank old world, this business of local politics - now take up yer seat, kind Sir, back at the opposite end of the table.

In a game of grandee musical chairs, Councillor Needham then took up his place at the top of the table, and the formal handing over of the chains and the Mr Mayor title took place. I have a feeling that the “We made a wonderful decision…” speech will deservedly played out again this time next year.

Continuing the procession of politico titles, behind every great man there has to be a great woman. The new Mr Mayor has two - blimey.

With the (new) Lady Mayor also looking resplendent in the gallery, it was soon time to endorse Councillor Kraft as the new Deputy Mayor for the duration of the political calendar.

A local Wivenhoe league system of sorts is in place, to decide who gets to rise (and fall) with the civic chain. It is almost on par with the election of a new Pope, with the high and mighty having to come to an agreement to endorse a candidate.

It wasn’t quite smoke signals wafting down the High Street and high jinks and rejoicing all the way down to the Rose and Crown, but a three endorsements, one against and “a number of abstentions…” completed the process.

Civic duties complete, back to Civvy Street and the complexes of Town Council business. It is around this point in the evening when a young (ish) blogger usually loses the plot and fails to follow the thread.

I tried to keep up with the constitutional discussion about the Community Working Party, but to be honest, my mind (and iPhone) was elsewhere. Two quick first half goals for Swansea and I trust none of the esteemed Councillors noticed the whispered profanities that almost delayed the important business of the Community Working Party.

As I understand (actually, I don’t) and the issue here was one of adopting a new way of working with committees, chairs and communication. It wasn’t quite as severe as Forest going in 2-0 down at half time (seriously,) but the Town Clerk did interject with:

“What is being proposed is not a valid procedure and I would like this minuted please.”

Blimey.

For the record I also DIDN’T swear in the Council chamber when the second Swansea goal went in, but I wouldn’t mind if that was minuted.

With the WTC constitution changing in June (I think) Councillor Kraft raised concern that three committees are currently without Chairs, following the introduction of a new administration.

Straight off the subs bench and the abundance of new local political talent within Wivenhoe soon served as a stopgap. I don’t suppose any of the four new Bright Young Things of WTC could play up front for Forest whilst they are at it?

As with all new organisations, roles and responsibilities need to be carefully laid out. What followed was a shuffling of the WTC pack, and the allocation of representation on various local and civic organisations. Ah - but who is the joker in the pack, Comrades?

The Colchester Association of Local Councillors role went to Councillor Lodge; Civic Protection was taken by Councillor Needham. Our Public Transport Representative remains the good Peter Kay, Community Safety is covered once again by Councillor Lodge and Councillor Needham will continue his good relations with WivSoc.

Wearing his nautical hat and Councillor Sinclair will represent WTC on the Colne Estuary Partnership. The Wivenhoe Housing Trust will have the fine company of Councillor Needham, the District Board and Facilities Trust role fell to Councillor Lodge, Councillor Kraft sticks with NAP and Wivenhoe in Bloom will have the green-fingered representation from Councillor Richards.

This was very much a putting your house in order meeting for the new administration. Subscriptions were up for renewal next. I thought that the ever keen and eager WivSoc had the tin rattling down to a fine art, what with a door knock and a kindly “pay up, pal” request earlier in the month.

WTC agreed to renew the following subscriptions:

The Essex Association of Local Councillors - £824 per annum - ouch! In return, Mr Mayor stated that WTC gains many official documentation templates that are most useful.

One would hope so, at just under a grand.

Essex Fields and Trusts - £35 pa

The Institute of Crematorium Management - £90 pa (deadly silence…)

The Society of Local Council Clerks - £120 pa

Essex Regional Employers - £130 pa

Direct Information Service (nope, me neither…) £90 pa

Community Management Association - £116 pa. This is the body that grants a licence to enable the running of the Community Mini Bus.

The Council for the Protection of Rural Essex - £29 pa (I wonder which side they bat for as the Environment Agency continues to vandalise our locality?)

The Council for National Allotments - £25 pa and

The Friends of Historic Essex - £10 pa.

Not a great deal of overall expenditure, but there are a lot of local bodies that are making money out of local government. Meanwhile, the Association of Nerdy North Essex Semi-Politico Local Bloggers is about to go back in the red, Comrades - and I’m not talking metaphorical, either.

The minutes for the Annual Town Meeting were then adopted. A lengthy discussion followed about Section 106 money, what it means and why it is important. My understanding is that it is essentially the classic local authority you scratch my back argument: yep, you can build yer mega superstore, but give our community a brown envelope stuffed full of grubby fivers first.

For administrative, political and possibly hyperlocal territorial reasons, the dosh for Wivenhoe is split between the Quay and the Cross. The former obviously benefited greatly with the Cook’s redevelopment 106 money; the latter looks like coming out rather nicely after the University has finished making a mess of Wivenhoe Park with the Knowledge Gateway nice little earner. WTC is in favour of being able to distribute this money WHEREVER it sees fit in the town.

Reports from local political representatives followed. Councillor Julie Young, the Colchester Representative on Essex County Council spoke first.

“I am now no longer the only Labour member at ECC - we have formed a group with the election of another Labour member. I have taken up the position of the Leader of the Labour group.”

Cripes, Comrade: We are all equal, but some are more equal than others, etc.

The hard-working Councillor Young updated with plans for a public footpath leading from Broadfields towards the Football Club:

“This is now the third highest Highways priory in all of Essex. It will be a slow process, but discussions are already in place with the landowner. I am happy to report that relations between the Trust and the Football Club are now much better. The Football Club is welcoming a group of disabled young adults into the clubhouse to use the space as a social area.

Other items updated by Councillor Young included the building of a shelter for students waiting for the Colne bus, congratulating the 20 students volunteers from the University who took part in a recent litter pick, and the promise to look at the faded zebra crossing at The Cross - a point that was raised by a resident at the Annual Town Meeting.

Councillor Young then risked the wrath of the entire Tendring Peninsula by bringing up the Clingoe Hill and the disruption that the Knowledge Gateway is about to bring:

“We are still unsure when the roadworks will begin. It is hoped that these will be completed by the start of the new academic year, which indicates that they should be imminent.”

The newly re-elected Councillor Steve Ford, one of Wivenhoe Quay’s representative at Colchester Borough Council, then addressed the chamber:

“I personally take the Mayor Making process very seriously. Wivenhoe is very lucky in consistently having excellent candidates to fill this role.”

With the past month (and more) spent on the stump, Councillor Ford had little political content to add, although he did remark:

“I thought that my election campaign was going to be dramatic, but it wasn’t so, as it turned out…”

Ouch.

The #workingforwivenhoe fine fella did update on the planning update for nine flats along Rectory Road:

“I have concerns over parking and draining, and have raised these with the Council. The Planning officers agree, and this application will now be heard in front of the Committee.

Valley Road to Bobbit’s Way continues to suffer from potholes and more serious infrastructure damage. I will keep on reminding Highways of this.”

A quick race through the various WTC committee reports, although being a new administration, there was little to report back on. A new picnic bench has been installed in the wood, to replace the one that was sadly vandalised.

Likewise a bench has now been placed on the sea wall, looking out to Rowhedge (although why anyone would want to sit down and actually look out towards Rowhedge is beyond me.)

Councillor Sinclair then reminded WTC about the official confirmation received regarding the continued vandalism of our unique local environment by the Environment Agency:

“We have heard that this work will now be ongoing, with the diggers arriving sometime over the next two weeks. I am sure that our phones will be ringing and WTC will have plenty of complaints from residents.

The work by the EA is an approved policy - all we can do as a council is to refer any complaints to the official literature that we have received.”

Mr Mayor added:

“The EA knows what it is doing.”

Here’s hoping…

A quick refresh of the iPhone, and yep - Forest were still trailing 2-0. Time for a pick me up - time to conclude the first meeting of the new administration with news of what Mr Mayor has planned during his Wivenhoe civic year:

“A tea party (July) Wivenhoe’s Got Talent (cripes - February) and a Tramp’s Supper (come as you are - October.)”

Civic representation is promised at all three events. The tea party sounds charming; Wivenhoe’s Got Talent equally excites and worries me. The Tramp’s Supper is tailor made for many folk around these parts.

Perfect.

Many congratulations to local Wivenhoe writer Anthony Clavane who has deservedly won the Best Football Book at the 2011 British Sports Book Awards. Promised Land ties up perfectly football fandom from a personal perspective with the wider social and cultural importance of a football club.

The Promised Land may have just scooped a prestigious national prize, but Anthony chose the setting of the Wivenhoe Bookshop in which to launch the book. He also held a reading and Q & A session up at Wivenhoe Town FC for the launch of Broad Lane Future back in October.

With the day job involving writing about sport, Anthony told the Dragons’ fans that he gains more excitement from the community element at Broad Lane compared to watching any top flight Premier League match.

I would add in various online links, stating you can buy the book over here, blah blah blah. But simply take a stroll down to the Wivenhoe Bookshop, and buy the prizewinner at the place where it was launched.

Still not sure about Leeds United, mind…

Plus: Speaking of local sporting books, with apt summer timing, here comes the definitive story of Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club:

The Story of Wivenhoe Cricket by Jon Wiseman is published on 28th July, priced at £20. The extensive research covers Wivenhoe cricket from the mid-eighteenth century through to the present day, and tells how the “spirit of the Hoe” came into being.

With over sixty illustrations and ninety tables of stats, it looks like being perfect boundary reading material up at Rectory Road. You can download an order form on the club website, or reserve a copy via email over here.

And so that’s Wivenhoe football and cricket literary works covered. Now then - who wants to write a 20,000 word masterpiece all about crabbing down by the Quay?

Wivenhoe Town beat Exning by 8 wickets.

And so after fifteen summers spent at The Oval in South London watching Surrey County Cricket Club rise, fall and then rise (sort of) again, the plan was to become an Essex Boy and spend my summers down the road at Chelmsford.

But at a whopping £19 for a CB40 match, and a ridiculous £21 for a t20 match, like most things here in Wivenhoe, @AnnaJCowen and I decided to keep it local.

Which all means forking out an annual cost-cutting price of £10 for social membership of Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club, and then procrastinating (and boozing) the summer weekends away along Rectory Road.

Hurrah!

We were teased during the first week of the new season over the Easter weekend. Concerned that many within the town feel that I live my life online, I was warmed to see @Wtcccricket offering some superb live tweeting from the opening matches of the summer.

I’ll have some of that I thought, dragging myself away from MacBook on Saturday afternoon and cycling up to the cricket club for some online / offline interaction. Shame there was no WIFI in the outfield.

As ever, a fashionably, fashionably late arrival along Rectory Road meant that we missed the start. We actually missed the entire innings by Exning, the visitors to Wivenhoe for the day.

Whoops.

But tea interval is always a great time to announce your arrival. We were welcomed into the newly refurnished clubhouse, half-eyed up the splendid tea spread and then opted for the bar.

It wasn’t quite the Long Room Oval experience that we have dined out on for the past fifteen summers, but the booze was certainly kept better than the hit and miss bar back in South London.

There can be no finer early summer experience than taking up a position behind the boundary rope at a village cricket ground, pint of lager shandy in your hand and the umpires emerging from the pavilion.

Looking resplendent in their freshly pressed white overcoats, it was like a scene from a long lost Yellow Pages commercial, with added industrial strength lager.

There was slight concern that @AnnaJCowen and I had colonied the home team boundary bench. My own cricketing record still proudly reads: 0 runs, not out, having faced a solitary delivery during my own very brief batting days. But cometh the hour, cometh the crap cricketer, should the call up go out.

Chasing down 172 for the win, the home side were never in any real need for a half laced boundary boy. An outrageous six cleared the ground in the second over, soon followed by an equally outrageous lbw shout, which saw one of the Wivenhoe openers sheepishly wander back into the hutch shortly after.

“Well played, fella,” offered the encouragement of a cheeky young scamp loitering by the pavilion.

Whoops.

With a brisk estuary breeze blowing all the way up towards the top of the town, this was a day for your traditional chunky cricket jumper. Unfortunately I had made the extreme fashion faux pas of wearing a lycra cycling top.

We braved it out to see the Hoe slog away, ensured of a victory, before buggering off back to base for, um, gardening duties.

So yeah - you can stick £19 + train fare + booze bonanza of a day out at Chelmsford. A charming village cricket club, a well stocked bar and flirtations of walking out with the First XI are not as fanciful as they first seemed.

To The Nottage once again on Wednesday evening for a committee meeting with the lovely WivSoc folk. With the smell of yacht varnish in the barn below being mixed up with the aroma of booze from the Rose and Crown along the Quay, this was something of a Wivenhoe moment.

There is always a sense of great history in entering the Nottage. You feel that you are truly experiencing something of Wivenhoe’s past - and hopefully the future, with WivSoc pushing forward a positive agenda for the town.

Of course you could always replicate the experience by brewing yacht beer and drinking it in your garden shed on a Wednesday evening once a month. But that would mean that you would miss the WivSoc stories. These blog posts don’t write themselves, y’know…

As ever, a varied agenda of the serious and trivial was in store. Off the Rails was up first. A request for assistance has been made by the local arts groups that is responsible for putting in place public art at Wivenhoe Station.

Off the Rails has been officially adopted by Network Rail as the organisation in which to promote art along the platforms. The potential problem is that Off the Rails may be ace at art, but has little experience of organising. WivSoc has been asked for advice.

Although not really coming under the WivSoc remit, it was agreed that conversations with Off the Rails should continue, with a view to helping the group become more self-sufficient. Another suggestion was to steer Off the Rails with the recent moves to re-start the legendary Wivenhoe Arts Club.

I’m not quite sure how this happened, but the debate then somehow let drop that the Station Master’s House has had something of a roof falling in on the world moment: THE ROOF REALLY HAS FALLEN IN, apparently, with the first floor coming crashing down.

Whoops.

Exactly where this leaves the fine Transition Town Wivenhoe and the ambitious (and ace) plans to turn the building into a sustainable community centre remains to be seen. TTW has a war chest of community goodwill, but sadly not a blank cheque to re-build Wivenhoe.

Sticking with matters fiscal, and it seems that WivSoc has saved the UK economy.

Cripes.

Recent changes in tax and insurance law means that the Chancellor has been presented with an extra £3.10 to help reduce the deficit.

We’re all in this together, Comrades.

Planning looked at the proposed development of nine new properties along Rectory Road. I still don’t quite get this ‘development’ terminology; it seems to suggest moving forward, an advancement, a development, if you will. But what if the development [urgh] is actually a step back?

They usually are…

Record Road has been previously submitted, and then withdrawn. It is now back in the hands of Colchester Borough Council. WivSoc has no formal objection, apart from a passing comment on the access road planned. A letter is being drawn up to put this point across. Town planning speak for re-wording of the phrase “jolly nasty design” were then discussed.

It is at this stage in the development (aha!) that it is perhaps worth reminding folk of the recent changes in the CBC planning application process. New applications will by-pass the Committee and go straight to council officers, UNLESS two formal objections are made. These need to be put in place through your local CBC ward councillor.

A hop, skip and a jump down Rectory Road, via an afternoon bender at the Rose and Crown (steady) and we’re at Cook’s. We’re also at the point that no WivSoc committee meeting would be complete without: the development [urgh, urgh] of the old shipyard.

A diligent spot on the CBC database by our esteemed Queen of Planning, and it seems that a variance in use has been put forward for the commercial developments along from the Quay.

The units were originally intended for commercial use for home workers as a business unit. The suggestion now is that they will be able to open up on Sundays and Bank Holidays, and also have the option to serve refreshments outdoors.

With On the Corner (nee the Corner House) now focussing on the evening economy, having one more place to purchase coffee in Wivenhoe during the daytime has to be seen as something worth welcoming.

Keeping with the public space theme, it seems that the old St John’s Ambulance building has become embroiled in a bit of a local tug of law. Time to repeat my personal mantra of not commenting in public on private planning applications. Still holding out for that nightclub at the bottom of the garden…

With Moving Image finding funding problems for the long-term purchase of the building, a local artist is interested in taking over St John’s for studio space. This includes the possibility of opening up for exhibitions.

*Some* members of Wivenhoe Town Council though are unhappy with this move. They see the building as one of the few remaining possibilities to keep it as a shared community resource. Booking a public venue in Wivenhoe is becoming increasingly difficult. *Some* members of WTC would like to keep all options open.

I wouldn’t stretch it out as far as calling it a rival bid, but a second group is in the running to try and restore the building for community use. A figure of £25,000 has been quoted to carry out repairs. It appears that the second group already has this capital.

I’m not ruling out a *ahem* THIRD bid, should my application for the nightclub in the back garden be turned down.

Keeping it social and the WivSoc is genuinely overjoyed with the tremendous success of the recent riverbank clean up. This was the most successful yet, with 80 volunteers turning up on a Sunday morning to help make the Colne a little bit cleaner.

The results are there to see - a tidal litter free stretch, all the way down to the Hythe. WivSoc was particularly happy to see young volunteers from the Hub and the Scouts and Guides coming out to help.

Cleaning up the Colne has become something of uniting community issue (or maybe not…) with some lovely plans to stretch out across the other side and involve our friends from Rowhedge.

It has been suggested that WivSoc twins future clean ups with the Rowhedge lot. We can even wave to one another from the other side. I know which half of the great divide I’d wager has the greater amount of mess to clean up.

Other social news includes a welcome return of the WivSoc wine tasting evening, taking place this year on the 18th November at the Congregational Hall. Our friends from the Co-op are once again very kindly providing the booze.

Chin chin.

But try and keep it sober - here comes that nice Mr Mayor with his formal report from the recent WTC meeting. I say formal, but the Dress Down Wednesday and affable approach of our civic leader, kept it all rather light-hearted.

A fair few serious issues however:

The proposed new Health Centre behind the Fire Station has seen considerable movement in recent weeks. As previously reported, Mr Mayor has held a meeting with the PCT, leaving Councillor Sinclair:

“More positive than at any stage before.”

Basically the PTC wants a decision imminently, ahead of the proposed national government shake-up of the NHS. A meeting of the Executive is being held next month, where a final decision is expected to be made.

Mr Mayor reported that the site itself is now ready for construction. The last remaining planning hurdle (a stray tree root) has now been resolved. Slight cynicism though from some sections of WivSoc, with mumblings of we’ve been here before…

Mr Mayor then spoke of his personal quest to:

“Bang a few heads together to try and get some co-operation from our local councillors.”

Cripes.

Not in the literal sense of course, but with currently two LibDems, One Tory and one Labour councillor, Mr Mayor is concerned that possible Section 106 funds coming out of the Knowledge Gateway might get lost in the political fog of tribal party politics.

The Cross ward has been singled out as being in most urgent need of new funds. A hit list of possible projects has been drawn up by WTC. I’d personally like to see a tag team-wrestling contest featuring all four councillors.

Purchasing the old police station houses is also a current priority for Mr Mayor:

“Most town councillors are on board with the concept. There is a feeling that this is a one-off opportunity to keep these under public use. We dare not let go of them.”

The police apparently quoted a figure of £400,000 four years ago, although WTC holds strong that this was never put forward in writing. It is expected that a similar figure will remain the market value today.

Which is slightly steep for a local town council that has just had a significant funding cut from the paymasters of CBC. The plan is to approach the Municipal Loan Board, and then rent out the properties to service the loan.

We finished off with My Mayor updating on the #hyperlocal political process:

“We have four new councillors, and four retiring councillors - which leaves us two short of our quota. I would have LOVED for this to have gone to election - it would have done WTC a world of good.”

I still reckon mud wrestling is the way to go, Comrades.

See ya next month…

Wivsoc - Disclaimer: I am a member of the Wivenhoe Society, although not a committee member. All views expressed within this blog post are mine alone, and not that of the committee, or the Society in general.