onionbagblog

To the canoes! …was the rally cry come Saturday morning as @AnnaJCowen and I decided to sea test the kayaks that make us feel like we are proper sailing types.

Ahem.

Having bought a couple of basic entry level models from a rather charming sailing shop just outside of Clactonia, a whole month has passed where they have been sitting in the dry dock that doubles up as a back garden.

Whoops.

Time and tide, ‘n all that, and bugger me - we’ve not exactly been blessed of late with a tidal pattern that can be easily accommodated into a weekday and weekend working pattern.

A detailed study of the tidal charts and a consultation of the shipping forecast the night before (I lie - high tide for Brightlingsea - there’s an app for that…) and we were scheduled to be sea bound shortly after 1pm on Saturday.

But first how to get the beasts down to the Quay? This has been occupying my mind a lot of late. It’s not quite on par with a Middle East peace proposal, but warfare of sorts broke out around the regions of Park Road on Saturday.

Apologies to m’neighbours - the girl and I got in a strop over straps. The Rolls Royce of kayak trolleys had been bought, but the small print overlooked attaching the kayaks to the rock ‘n roll wheels.

No worries. A trip to B & Q and some industrial strength ratchet ties were ours for the taking. But not for the tying. We bodged a solution of sorts, and then fell flat on our feet before we even hit the Colne Social Club.

Back to basics it was, and we resorted to the good old-fashioned backbreaking method of carrying the canoes by the handles down to the Sailing Club. The High Street was well off our radar - no one wants to see a feuding couple encased in tight black rubber with additional S & M cable straps wandering past the Deli on a Saturday lunchtime.

Anglesea Road was a pain, but the pleasure was all to come once we hit the water. Wivenhoe is surprisingly short on slipways - there’s either the old Sailing Club entry point by the Ferry launch, or out towards the barrier and the current Sailing Club location.

It was to our very good fortune that just as the champagne bottles were smashed against the hull (not as a symbolic gesture, but as something of a tonsil tickler before hitting the water) we encountered another canoeing couple.

Cripes.

Tips were exchanged, black bondage was mutually admired.

And then we were water bound.

Blimey.

I potted about in canoes as a youth, thinking that a bright red phallic fibreglass body would aid my sexual chances. I know how to control my wrist action, especially so when sitting in an unnatural position.

It was to my great joy then to relive this moment of frisson from my youth, making those first few strokes into the muddy water of the Colne and drifting dangerously close to the flood barrier.

I looked back at the girl and found that she hadn’t even managed to wriggle free of the slipway. I’ve always doubted her technique, to be honest.

It may be a beast to carry down to the Quay, but the kayak glides like an absolute beauty once you are in the water. Observing Wivenhoe from a low water level provides a stunning new perspective.

You can of course get over-romanticised about a bloody canoe, but there was a great sense of history approaching the town from the water, something that generations of folk in Wivenhoe have been accustomed to.

Soon we were paddling past the Rose and Crown, onwards along the side of West Quay and then a sharp left up the Roman River. Fingringhoe had to be done, and preferably so before the already outgoing tide stranded us.

Five minutes up the twist and curves of the Roman River, and the North Essex aquatic nature totally immerses you. Thankfully no baptisms took place along the muddy waters of the North Essex estuary on Saturday afternoon.

Various birdlife accept you as part of their environment, flying incredibly close along the water and offering up spectacular viewing points. The Pisces within was a one happy man in a canoe. Meanwhile the Libra that is @AnnaJCowen was struggling to balance her boat, let alone her astrological scales.

We actually got lost up the Roman River - how is that possible? I’m not entirely sure, but we also managed to get lost along the Wivenhoe Trail the first time that we cycled it. The welcoming tower of St Mary’s was our guiding principle back to base.

A brief paddle upstream towards Rowhedge, and then a drift along with the outgoing tide back to the Sailing Club. Saturday afternoon tea was calling, as well as a hot shower. The Colne really is very mucky little pup.

And so a success of sorts. The struggle with the canoes back to base ‘aint great. We’re exploring other options (*cough* Sailing Club membership…)

But yeah - footloose and fancy free to explore the Colne, the Creek and all the many tributaries in-between. Any excuse to become encased in thick, black rubber.

Woh - where to start with Wivenhoe Open Gardens 2011? How about twenty-eight private gardens becoming public open spaces for the weekend, and Wivenhoe being transformed into a local treasure hunt?

Blimey.

Green fingered and green envied gardeners delighted in the form and forna. Was it really less than four months ago when the big freeze threatened to wipe out the local Wivenhoe habitat? Or maybe that was just the Environment Agency…

Anyway - the wonderfully produced programme is a good pointer when trying to unravel the splendour of Open Garden weekend:

“Another bitter winter arrived in Wivenhoe in December, burying our gardens under a thick blanket of snow. As it slowly disappeared, the effects of some of the coldest weather for many years became apparent.”

Yep - one tree down in the Park Road region. Whoops.

“Most gardens will probably have lost some tender specimens in the last two winters, but nature is very resilient. The bulbs may have been a little slow to start flowering this year, but the sudden flourish of crocuses and the following blaze of daffodils lifted the spirits.”

And then some. HONK!! LOOK!! I’ve grown a daffodil. I’ve grown a b****y daffodil! I’m still dining out on that achievement by the way.

“The sunshine and mild weather in April have brought such a rush of growth that it seems unbelievable that there was ever any doubt of our gardens’ reappearance.”

I confess to being a non-believer when the makeshift ice rink beyond the back door bedded down for a month. Three months later and who would have thought that topless sunbathing in Wivenhoe (him, not her) would be possible?

But anyway - what of the twenty eight local gardens of delight that very, very kindly allowed locals to parade around the pansies and poppies in what is unofficially being dubbed RHS Wivenhoe by some?

Much like the gardens of Wivenhoe itself, @AnnaJCowen and I took very different approaches. You need a system, a plan, and a strategy. I favoured a regimented approach that was planned with military precision. I like neatly trimmed herbaceous borders.

The girl wanted to wander lonely as a cloud, refreshing in the boozers en route and seeing where the day would take her. The girl likes getting her knees mucky in the long deep grass.

A compromise of sorts was established: we would start off at the Quay, and then take a random walk up towards the Cross, taking in any of the Open Gardens that appeared en route.

It was thirsty work to be honest, but the booze could wait. There was something of a beer festival rationale however in ticking off all the gardens that we managed to clock up.

On our travels and we took in a great depth of different styles and use of space. A selection of the relatively new gardens down by the West Quay development improvised superbly. South facing front gardens became vegetable patches, making the most of the limited land available.

Clifton Terrace was a highlight for many, judging by our conversations with fellow wanderers around Wivenhoe. The incredibly high steeping garden looking down above the railway line was ingenious in the use of layers. A series of stairs had effectively been put in place, making the garden manageable and most adorable.

At the other end (and extreme) of Clifton Terrace was the garden come Country Park. We spent half an hour walking from one end to the other in the magnificent and majestic setting. You haven’t got a garden kind Sir - you have a country estate.

On a practical level and it was useful to observe how similar plants are performing when compared to what we have planted back at base. We’re holding our own, so to speak: “You have the largest courgette in Wivenhoe,” as the girl later complemented me with as we sipped away on a stiff one in the back garden.

The pride that Wivenhoe folk take in their gardens, and the genuine love of sharing their achievements really was quite humbling. Open Gardens only works with a tremendous amount of trust in place. The guest books around the garden tables rightfully heaped praise and thanks on all of those participating.

Many of the gatherings became social spaces for the afternoon. The tea, cakes and soft drinks added to the occasion. I can proudly say that I have now sat in the lovely, lovely garden in the old Falcon and be served up with a drink by the equally lovely, lovely hosts.

The good @MrBoom shadowed our movements as we swapped tales and tips at different stages around the town. Strangers became acquaintances, acquaintances become friends. It’s also a great way to find your way around a town that has many hidden back roads that you wouldn’t normally have any need to visit.

With 5pm on Saturday signalling that Open Gardens was closed for the day, we made a last minute dash up to enjoy the garden and company of the newly installed Mr Mayor. A warm welcome and a drink was our reward.

And then it was back down the town, and reflecting on how most gardens actually take the physical form and characteristics of their owners. I pondered my prize courgette and felt rightly proud.

Many, many thanks to all the very kind participants who opened up their private gardens to the public over the weekend. This has been the highlight of our Year in Wivenhoe so far.

Thanks also to the joint organisers:

“Wivenhoe Open Gardens is organised jointly by St Mary’s Church and the Wivenhoe Society. All profits are shared between the Church and other Wivenhoe causes chosen by the Wivenhoe Society; this year the Society’s beneficiary is Wivenhoe Helping Hands, a new venture to spread assistance to people in need of the community’s help and consideration.”

Anyone wanna see my cracker of a courgette next year?

Full flickr set over here.

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To The Greyhound on Saturday evening for the second May Fair fundraiser of the month. The 3:30 - 11pm schedule was ambitious, not to mention the potential to get a little messy. With May Fair itself just two Wivenhoe weekends away, now is the time to start some serious liver training.

@AnnaJCowen and I opted for the Cup Final warm up back at base, predictably falling asleep, and then wobbling down the High Street still in a slumber-induced coma and in search of booze.

Just another late Saturday afternoon in Wivenhoe then.

The bass guitar was reverberating towards the top of Queens Road, with the beer garden at The Greyhound hosting the event. I trust that the good folk of the Queens Road Residents Association were in the mood for a party. Failing that, you could always decamp up to Park Road and have the music drowned out by the HGV’s that now detour along the Valley Road junction.

Steady, Jase. Steady…

Inside The Greyhound and any such hyper hyper hyperlocal community minor divisions were long since diminished. This was a genuine community attempt to raise some much need coffers for the May Fair kitty.

As with The Station event staged over the last Bank Holiday, the format was pretty straight forward: local bands and musicians strut their stuff on the stage, the buckets gets passed around and you contribute whatever you can afford before you pass out yourself.

Arriving fashionably late, sadly we missed the afternoon session (music, not booze) from Hurricane, featuring a certain Mr Martin Newell on bass guitar duties. No worries - a lovely catch up with the chap looking resplendent in a purple blazer and beret, and the Wivenhoe world was put to rights.

More of the same, please.

With 7:30 approaching and the scheduled start for the Moving Image screening next door at the Phillip Road Centre, I hope that the old school ska didn’t intrude too much to the Wivenhoe cinematic experience. We’re all in this together, Comrades - Moving Image will of course have a presence at the May Fair, working in co-operation with Transition Town Wivenhoe.

Some more traditional folk strumming followed; buckets were shaken, booze was drunk. I’m no great theoriser of basic scientific formula, but I’d wager that there is a definite correlation between dosh in the bucket and booze consumed.

We stayed around to watch a power trio (seriously) stomp through Jean Genie, turning Bowie’s lightweight glam pop pomp into a wonderful heavy horse of a re-working. It was at this stage of the evening that I switched from lager to the dark stuff. The evening took a heavy twist, just as Wivenhoe’s Bowie pillagers started to scream and bawl.

Like all good evenings should, we predictably ended up at The Station for recuperation. The eight-hour stretch at The Greyhound was a warm up for May Fair itself.

Lessons learnt ahead of the big day: comatisation should come after, and not before you set off; drink generously and give generously. Plus start off as many wild rumours as possible about the revival of Wivenhoe’s very own glam scene.

Guess who is making a very, VERY special guest secret appearance on the Main Stage this year?

It’s Gnome Laughing matter, I tell you…

Here’s an interesting planning application that appears to have escaped underneath the radar of the Wivenhoe Society and the like: Tesco has submitted plans for a service station to be built on the corner of Queens Road and Park Road.

It is unclear from the online plans where the exact location is. I would link, but the damn Colchester Borough Council planning database keeps on crashing. My limited geographical skills point towards the Colne Social Club, where the lease has recently become available.

Part of the planning application includes the proposal to raise the speed limit along Queens Road to 50mph. This would increase to 70mph for weekends and Bank Holidays, when there is expected to be less congestion.

It is certainly a very clever move by the supermarket giant. Lower Wivenhoe is rather weak on fast food garage style outlets. The idea it seems is to attract more drive through custom into the town, and open up lower Wivenhoe to the car lobby.

New planning laws that were introduced as part of the budget mean that the advantage now lays with the developers. With this also being a business interest rather than residential, it is expected that the Planning Committee will look favourably on the application, with the aim of stimulating the local economy.

Meanwhile, a separate planning application to build a flyover from The Folly, stretching out all the way over to the Tesco roundabout, has failed.

Colchester Borough Council threw out the application, claiming that if allowed, it would free up Clingoe Hill of all traffic, and “the bloody NIMBY’S of Wivenhoe wouldn’t have anything else to moan about.”

It’s only a daffodil, Jase.

It may only be a daffodil to you, but it’s MY daffodil. Yep - that’s right: Forty-one years of cultivation (me, not the daff) and this is the first little flowery thing that I have grown from scratch.

Cripes.

I admit that optimism wasn’t exactly abound back in those dark days of mid-November when I returned from B & Q with a cheapo bag of daffodil bulbs. A rushed (and seasonably very late) planting of the little buggers was a bit wayward as well.

Truth be told, I got bored digging the endless holes, and then measuring the correct distance between each bulb. I ended up trampling a few into the ground, and then pondering what a waste of a rural exercise this had all been.

It didn’t help that the Great Wivenhoe Winter of 2010 settled in for, ohhh, six months the day after the daffs were planted. The pesky squirrels of Park Road then had plenty of fun, digging up cheapo B & Q bulbs, under the misguided thought that they were actually edible.

The New Year celebrations saw more snow and ice around these estuary parts. It didn’t see any daff action. I wandered lonely as a cloud up to Wivenhoe Cross come February, and had green finger envy as the Wivenhoe in Bloom daffs started to bloody bloom.

We’re buggered, I thought.

Beware the Ides of March though; beware @AnnaJCowen and her constant taunts that a countryside garden is beyond my grasp. The Golden Days of this Wivenhoe spring (steady) have delivered.

What do we do now - eat them?

Looks like I’ve got a lot to learn…

To the Town Council Offices on Monday evening for the monthly meeting of our friends from Wivenhoe Town Council. I say “friends” in complete sincerity - I don’t see Mr Speaker welcoming people into the Public Gallery at Westminster with a beaming smile and the offer of glacier mint.

Nine of our good Councillor’s were present around the top table on Monday, with a Civic suited, booted and blinged up Mr Mayor chairing the meeting. Three members of the public were also present, which has to be encouraging for local accountability and political access.

Essex County Councillor Julie Young spoke first, updating WTC on her recent work as Colchester’s representative at a county level. Traffic has once again been a priority, with speeding levels around Wivenhoe being a concern for local residents.

Rectory Road keeps on cropping up, along with the approach to Broomgrove School. Cllr Young has asked the police to intervene, whenever local residents raise the issue. A pilot study of the 20′s Plenty initiative has been undertaken. Cllr Young is chasing this up, with a view to rolling it our along the non-residential streets around Wivenhoe.

Keeping with the transport theme, Cllr Young then updated WTC over the issue of a footpath approach to the football club along Elmstead Road. Funding is in place for further investigation, with possible money for the implementation of the project being made available in April.

Those glacier mints then came in handy, when through *shhh* gritted teeth, Cllr Young bigged up Dave’s #bigsociety. Funding for around £50k (not so big then…) may be available for Colchester and Tendring. Individual grants of around £500 to kick-start #hyperlocal community projects within Wivenhoe could be up for grabs.

You call it #bigsociety, we call it Community Initiative - Cllr Young then outlined her track record on delivering with similar schemes locally, pointing out improvements to the skateboard park and new nets for the football pitches at KGV.

Inspiring Ideas is the name of a new initiative from Essex County Council. They like their positive lexicology, these politico types. I would suggest that if you have an idea that isn’t inspiring, then you probably shouldn’t even be thinking in the first place.

The good Cllr Young rightfully pointed out that Wivenhoe is full of inspiring ideas anyway. It is hoped that the countywide scheme will be able to improve communities at a local level.

Good idea, that…

Finally Cllr Young praised the wonderful folk of Wivenhoe Moving Image, and explained how she has helped out the independent community cinema to become a key holder at the Phillip Road Centre, as well as resolving extra access issues to allow increased screenings.

Questions to our council rep followed. WTC Cllr Kraft asked if Cllr Young would like to test out the new toilets that have just been completed at the William Loveless Hall.

Steady the buffers; and the bowels.

Next up on his feet for a bit of political stand up was the ever-entertaining Cllr Steve Ford, the Colchester Borough Council representative for the Quay ward. The good Cllr Ford could appear at a stand up comedy gig, and still raise a smile telling some right ripping yarns all about potholes.

Oh - hang on…

It is the working bain of any local councillor, and yep, potholes are once again particularly heavy on the mind of Cllr Ford. Park Road and “a whooper” (blimey) along Rebow Road have recently been reported by Cllr Ford.

An insider perspective on the 20′s Plenty scheme then followed, with Cllr Ford giving an insight into the chairing an all-party CBC committee. Unlike Cllr Ford, I’ll get straight to the punch line - CBC supports the idea of the scheme throughout the borough, but is looking at funding to carry out a consultation.

Boom boom.

High praise then followed for the Wivenhoe Gilbert and Sullivan Society and their recent performance of Oklahoma! at the William Loveless Hall. Cllr Ford described the production as “fantastic,” in a move which many saw as a possible angling for the warm-up spot next year.

Cllr Ford explained the more serious matter of a recent tricky planning application for the Royal British Legion down at the Quay. This was granted by CBC, allowing much needed improvements to the historic old building, but with strong objections to the current owner of Dickie and Dennis’ old house.

Cllr Ford was pleased to report that a resolution of sorts was achieved, proving that when handled diplomatically, planning can work for the benefit of the community.

New planning laws are about to be introduced. Cllr Ford asked WTC how best to publicise these within the town. Not read the most recent WTC Newsletter, Cllr Ford? Tsk tsk.

With the agenda racing through the chamber with all the speed of the 9:23 passing through Paget Road, we were then back on to WTC matters. The meeting then became slightly clouded for the untrained eyes and ears.

Talk turned towards internal admin matters, relating to communication with a transport officer. It all started off rather innocently, and then somehow the conversation became embroiled with private internal emails, with WTC deciding to debate the issue (whatever the issue was) once the public gallery had been cleared.

Mmm…

Moving on - time for the individual WTC committees to report back. It is only when you witness the scope and responsibilities of the unpaid WTC councillors that you realise how much work and effort goes into the job. No financial reward is on offer, and often little thanks come the way of the councillors.

Cllr Liddy led with Planning. Unfortunately talk once again turned towards updating the Cllr’s behind closed doors, with “legal matters and solicitor letters and meetings” being mentioned.

I have no more to add.

The new health centre is still plodding along with nothing new to report. The meeting heard how internal changes are currently being put in place at the current health centre, suggesting that the professionals involved aren’t planning for a positive outcome any time soon.

Finance and Admin reported back with rare praise from a member of the public in the manner in which WTC is dealing with the harsh reality of a significant cut in local authority funding. Sticking with balancing the books and the Best Value committee stated that Wivenhoe Youth Hub, the May Fair and Wivenhoe in Bloom are all expected to stay within the allocated budget.

Nothing to report on the Working Party and Estates, apart from a request from the wonderfully named Essex Stragglers to use Wivenhoe Wood for a mid-summer event on the evening of the 30th June. I’ve no idea what the Essex Stragglers actually do, but I’d wager that around chucking out time on the 30th June, I could well qualify for membership.

The next agenda item was everyone’s favourite of the Wivenhoe Woodwork Party. Mr Mayor reported that the group has been attending to Ferry Marsh after the recent clean up (yeah, right…)

On to more positive matters and it’s only the Wivenhoe Community Mini Bus - hurrah! In what became something of a surreal discussion, Mr Mayor updated on how the current vehicle serves our needs perfectly. With only 51,000 miles on the clock (that’s a lot of running around Wivenhoe,) the bus is working well with no need for an update.

We then entered into Maureen’s Driving School territory, with a driving test theory style discussion all about parking and avoiding bollards.

Blimey.

The Youth Facilities Working Party reported on the current provision, and how the focus is now turning towards the top of the town and the need to fill any gaps in the services available for our young folk. The ace Youth Council has been invited into the council chamber next week to hold session.

Sticking with the civic responsibility theme, Mr Mayor then replied to that standard Westminster question of asking what the chuffers the leader has been doing since the session last met.

Rather than respond with the jaded “I have been having meetings with my ministerial colleagues,” Mr Mayor proved the point that life in Wivenhoe has a far greater WOW! factor than living in Westminster:

“On Tuesday I visited the Youth Club which is going from strength to strength. I organised and attended the Mayor’s Civic Ball, raising money for the Mayor’s charity. I have witnessed the work being carried out at Broomgrove around Fair Trade. I went to the Colchester Mayor’s Civic event, where I was surrounded by bling. I have met with the bursary fund at the University. I am proud to announce that we will be funding five students next year. I have met with Wivenhoe Helping Hands, I attended the dedication of Major Tom Burt’s memorial and I thoroughly enjoyed Oklahoma!”

Cripes. Somebody pour that man a stiff G & T. Or even offer him another Civic glacier mint.

Meanwhile, Mr Mayor was then on the back foot, offering up an explanation as to why he was seen to be formally opening a botox and teeth whitening clinic.

Sucking in his cheeks, and with his best cheesy grin, Mr Mayor offered up the excellent answer of being offered a £200 gift certificate to auction off at the Mayor’s Charity Ball.

Job’s a good ‘un.

Talk also turned toward Mr Mayor’s alternative ball. For those fearing a mass Goth invasion of the William Loveless Hall with pints of cherry brandy and cider being consumed by men wearing clogs and eyeliner - relax…

The alt ball is for those who perhaps don’t appreciate the formalities of the black tie event. Planning is underway with an esteemed local promoter. I hear *shhh* that the Loveless Hall is being transformed into The Cavern with a 60′s style event being staged.

With no pause even for a quick Twist and Shout, it was soon time for the Town Clerk to report back to WTC. The first spring cutting of the grass has taken place at the KGV and the churchyard. The ladies loos at the Loveless Hall are complete. Budgets are up to date as we approach the end of the financial year.

Mr Mayor emphasised the versatility of our local ground staff, who one day may be mowing the KGV, whilst another they might be called upon the more sombre task of being asked to dig a grave.

It was confirmed that the official opening of the new police station up at the, um, fire station, will take lace on Saturday 26th March. The new building won’t allow access to the public (the old building very rarely had residents turning up anyway…) apart from on the open day itself. Something of a misnomer, but great to be given open access for the launch day.

New Business debate was centred on the request from St Mary’s to organise and stage a Church Ale event in September. This is essentially a medieval style pageant. Planning is required for various road closures, with permission asked to start off the procession from the KGV.

The discussion focussed on the cost of closing the roads, as well as the insurance and safety of the public, with events such as archery being proposed. The ever-helpful Cllr Needham offered clarification, explaining how the weapons were spiked poles, and the professional group involved have their own insurance.

Phew.

Ah, but who will be asked to be the Lord and Lady of the Manor in the procession? Ah, that will fall to the incumbent Mayor or Mayoress, whoever that may be following the impending WTC elections.

Speaking of which - nominations open for anyone wishing to stand as a Wivenhoe Town Councillor on 28th March, with a final deadline of midday on 4th April. It would be cruel to point out that April Fool’s Day also falls within this period…

Papers were shuffled around the table and a few nervy eyes darted back and forth within the chamber. Beware the Ides of March, my good councillors…

[public] meeting closed at 8:40.

To the Town Council offices (cripes) on Tuesday evening for the bi-monthly meeting of the Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Action Panel, the Essex Police initiative, defined as:

“Each NAP consists of representatives from the local community, residents’ associations, children and young people, voluntary agencies, schools, faith groups, Town and Parish councillors, Colchester Borough Council, Essex County Council and other statutory groups or organisations that are best placed to make a valuable contribution to community problem solving throughout Colchester.”

Oh - and nosey bloggers as well. Many thanks for making me feel most welcome…

Scaling down further for Wivenhoe, and our very own #hyperlocal NAP states:

“We want to tackle crime and quality of life issues that are effecting Wivenhoe and the University of Essex. We not only want to tackle them but we want to reduce them.”

A cursory glance over at the online data released last week via police.uk reveals that downtown Wivenhoe ‘aint exactly a crime hot spot. Ah, but it’s all relative, and also all about reassurances.

Seven incidents of anti-social behaviour, plus the three reports of violent crime in December 2010, are much more than pure, hard online data. These are very real situations that NAP seeks to address to help to make Wivenhoe an even better place in which to live and work.

Violent crime is hard to predict. Parking issues however can be addressed to help achieve a positive outcome.

Um, can’t they…?

As was the case with the previous NAP back in November, a great deal of the debate on Tuesday evening was taken up with parking issues around the town. Put simply, we have too many cars parking within Wivenhoe.

You can’t legislate for car ownership; nor for local authority cuts, which reduces the budget available to address the issue. Which all rather depressingly sums up the majority of agenda items at the NAP: Parking problems, no money, not much we can do.

Bare with me, blog readers - there is something of a warm, happy ending involving Mayor Brian Sinclair…

But first the roll call of cars parking woes:

Rosabelle Avenue has been reported as being a problem area for dangerous parking. Wivenhoe Town Council is currently waiting on a review of the 2011 budget for possible funding.

Moving on…

Parking outside One Stop towards The Cross - Councillor Penny Kraft reported on the solution being pressed by WTC. Essex County Council Highways have agreed to widen the pavement at the Colchester Road end.

Hurrah!

The problem? The small matter of the shortfall of £25k to pay for this. Cripes, you’re thinking - that’s a lot of wonga for a small stretch of road. Indeed it is. A more conservative £4k is the figure for the physical pavement improvements; £21k is the amount needed to pay off the various utility and telco companies who would be caught up in the crossfire.

NAP Chair Eugene Kraft has approached One Stop about some friendly sponsorship to help carry out the work, and ultimately improve the parking outside the business. Times are tough for traders as well as local councils. Sadly the scheme is now on hold.

Something slightly more positive however is the report of disruptive parking outside Millfields School. Councillor Kraft observed:

“You need a physical presence to address this. Whenever someone from the school stands outside during the school run, parents tend to park properly. Without this however and the problem returns. People don’t park cars - they abandon them. This is a great inconvenience to local residents.”

In response, the Deputy Head of Millfields [apologies, didn't note your name...] kindly attended the meeting to update on the issue:

“Our last formal complaint from a resident was back in May 2010. If we aren’t aware of the issues, then we can’t act upon them. We have extended parking in the school so that there are more spaces. Teachers arriving early morning are parking flush to the edge of the space. We now have fewer employees parking outside the school.”

The Chair observed that the Millfields parking problem is now “not as bad as it once was.” The NAP agreed to remove the item from future agendas, pending any further complaints.

Which was all very considerate, which also leads rather nicely into, ah… the Considerate Parking Scheme.

This is a WTC initiative, which aims to promote a better understanding of the parking needs around the town, in the absence of any law of the land to ease the flow of traffic. Wivenhoe tends to be a terribly considerate town anyway. If such a scheme were to work, one would hope that it would work in Wivenhoe.

The idea is simple: encourage and promote a more considerate, shared use of car parking space around the town, and explain the positive outcomes for the community. Councillor Kraft explained how the scheme has been discussed at WTC, along with input from our local police team.

“We looked at the Brightlingsea model and concluded that the Brightlingsea problem is not the same as ours. WTC decided not to pursue the Considerate Parking Scheme. The police aren’t keen, and we haven’t got the backing from Colchester Borough Council.

Commuters cause the problems in Wivenhoe - in Brightlingsea it is residents. We tried to speak with inconsiderate parkers down at West Quay and we didn’t even know who we are dealing with.”

Wivenhoe Society Chair Tom Roberts was not alone in expressing his disappointment that this scheme has now been shelved:

“I had hoped that the Considerate Parking Scheme would address the problem of cars parking with two wheels on the road.”

[um... Valley Road.]

The official WTC response is that this can’t be done without police support.

Sgt Lou Middleton added:

“It is not an offence for cars to park on the public pavement, as long as they are not obstructing pedestrians. If it was HGV’s, then we could act.”

A discussion then followed about *ahem* Park Road in particular, and how double parking takes place on both sides of the pavement. It was suggested that putting double yellow lines down one side of the road would ease the problem, but… there isn’t a budget for this.

A work-around of sorts was concluded, which kept in with the very considerate nature of Wivenhoe: the NAP will work alongside the local police to leaflet cars, which are parked inconsiderately.

Different agenda point, same problem: dangerous parking along Elmstead Road. The Chair noted:

“Nothing can be done. The road is too narrow and there are no pavements.”

And then just when you wait for yet another dangerous parking conundrum, along comes… Queens Road.

Oh Lordy.

The problem, if indeed there is one with Queens Road, is not so much dangerous parking but the inverse and the continued closure of the stretch. An update was kindly provided by a QRRA member, outlining the Association’s view on the fire at the Business Centre last year.

This is all old ground, and nothing new was discussed that we didn’t already know. Highways are not prepared to change their position on the closure, and so the item was ticked off the NAP agenda.

And relax.

Sgt Littleton then explained a little more about the Essex Police Emerging Communities initiative:

“This is a government led scheme to identify new groups moving into communities. We are keen to identify these groups so that we can give them the same standard of support as we do other members of the community.”

A bit of head scratching around the Town Council table, and apart from an anti-Mubarak poster that has been spotted in solitary along Park Road, Wivenhoe doesn’t seem to be a town that is that transient right now.

But anyway - back to parking - or back to the pedestrian flow around parked cars to be more precise.

The much-mooted zebra crossing by the Co-op now seems like a lost cause. With much personal frustration, Mayor Sinclair explained the saga that has frustrated WTC for some time:

“We can’t have a pedestrian crossing close to a road junction, therefore the only location would be above from the Co-op. This would wipe out resident parking space, as well as creating extra cost in having to move the bus stop.

Delays happened, and we simply ran out of time with the project in relation to the budget. WTC is collectively very angry over this. The money has been put aside, and we want to make sure that we have still got access to this.”

Tom Roberts raised the valid point of tapping into some Section 106 funding as part of the planning process for Cedrics Bus Garage. The current planning application has now been withdrawn, with WTC waiting for an expected re-submitted approach.

AOB raised up the appropriate issue for a NAP panel of the closure of Wivenhoe Police Station. As has already been documented, Sgt Middleton, PC Bond and PSCO Neville are moving out to the Fire Station. Sgt Middleton confirmed that this would be happening later in the month. The ICT infrastructure is currently being kitted out.

The possible problem, as pointed out by Councillor Kraft, is that there will be no public access to the new premises. This is simply a physical imposition of the building.

Sgt Middleton commented that he doesn’t view this as a problem, as the old police station gets very few doorknockers anyway. A police surgery at the library was confirmed, as was the very visible police van drop in sessions that you can currently see around the town.

A final point was confirmation that the police houses will be sold…

And then as promised, here comes the lovely *ahhh* moment that one just wasn’t expecting to conclude a Wivenhoe NAP meeting.

Mayor Sinclair reported back on a couple of incidents involving vocal students, tired and emotional, late in the evening after taking part in the legendary Wivenhoe Run. Not wanting to condone the actions (The Flag down to The Station, and then back again, mid-week as an Essex undergraduate? Not me, Oh no, Sireee…) but there is something of a lovely ending.

Personal apologies have been made to locals who were disturbed by the behaviour, as well as apologies to our local pubs. My Mayor thought that this was very humble, and even told the young boozers this as well as encouraging them to return to our town.

Perhaps it’s a good idea to get the bus back to campus next time, eh, guys ‘n girls?

Oh - and with perfect comic timing, and just as the meeting was concluded, in walked the good Councillor Steve Ford.

The poor chap probably couldn’t find anywhere to park.

Whoops.

Comedy Central Live up at The Lakeside

There’s a decent run of gigs coming up at The Lakeside this month, starting with Ivan Brackenbury this Wednesday:

“Hapless hospital radio DJ Ivan Brackenbury is a masterful comic creation! His 2010 show Disease Hour won rave 4 star reviews in The Guardian, Times, Evening Standard, Time Out and Scotsman.”

LOL, as they say on the modern interweb.

Meanwhile, down at Queens Road…

Posting in relation to the recent phone cable work, the QRRA notes:

“We were disappointed to see that they [Telnet] only removed the cables which went across Queens Road at the Park Road junction so in fact there has been virtually no visual improvement.

The reason for this (apparently) is that they were only removing the cables which might interfere with tall vehicles passing along the road although when work was done in another section of the road we were told it was being carried out because the telephone cables were too close to the power cables.”

“Tall vehicles passing along the road?” Hang on - I thought the road was closed…?

And so after the marvel of the Morris Men outside the Black Buoy, Boxing Day was in need of a walk to recover from all of the chaos. The plan was for a simple stroll down to the front, out towards the Sailing Club, and then back at base before the Black Buoy booze wore off.

Somehow @AnnaJCowen and I became attracted towards the adventure of the ice out towards Alresford, and just kept on walking.

Dog walkers approaching in the opposite direction warned us off the icy path that lay ahead. But we persisted, past the Sailing Club, and then a cross-country cut through back on to the Alresford Road.

Much of the snow from a week earlier remained untouched, concealing iced over streams that stretched out away from the estuary. A particular patch had a strange yellow glow. We resisted the temptation to eat.

And then just as we were heading over the fields and back on to the main road, a polite head nod and a hello towards a fellow Boxing Day leg stretcher soon became a rather enjoyable conversation.

Reference points were made, and it seems that my identity had been blown. Bugger. But fear not - our fellow rambler was terrific late afternoon company, and kept @AnnaJCowen and I hanging off his every word with tales of Wivenhoe past.

By now and the skies truly were bruising. Anglesea Road was an ice rink, with the peak of Park Road fairing little better. Back at base and there was just enough time for a warming cup of tea, before… heading back out to the Black Buoy once again.

Blimey.

#chinchin

The plan was for a blog post entitled The Snowmen of Wivenhoe. Except during my Wednesday morning cycle from the Cross down to the Quay, I failed to find a single snowman. Front gardens uptown had the recycling boxes covered in a coupe of inches of snow. Squint hard enough, and the green boxes could possibly pass as a most peculiar form of snowman.

Past The Greyhound, and I swung right for the KGV fields. Surly this must be the ideal breeding ground for the Snowmen and Snowwomen of Wivenhoe?

A bloke was out early was out early walking his dog - not at the most briskest of paces, but even a prolonged squint down towards the Wood, and you would be hard pressed to describe a docile dog walker as a snowman.

I put the lack of Wivenhoe Snowmen all down to the timing. We were blessed with our heavy covering of snow rather late in the day on Tuesday. Most of the kids from both schools were already back at base, with only a delicate snow covering at chucking out time.

I presume both Broomgrove and Millfieds were both open on Wednesday? Scholarship is the enemy of the Snowmen of Wivenhoe. Plus by lunchtime, and the Park Road and Queens Road area had been reduced to a rather large ice rink.

Take it easy out there, folks.

Instead I carried on cycling down towards the Quay. By mid-morning, and most of the virgin snow had been sullied by the daily business of the town. The view downstream was gloomy, as further bursts of snow threatened down the Colne, although ultimately stayed away.

Work was calling for me, and so I abandoned the idea of a ride out to Alresford to try and capture the snow along the Trail. An earlier ride in the opposite direction towards the Hythe was almost aborted. The snow was patchy in the sheltered spot around Ferry Marsh, yet extremely thick under foot (and tyre) opposite the University.

And so with the Snowmen of Wivenhoe keeping a low profile, I settled instead for a hit and miss photo shoot of what was left down at the Quay. I still haven’t found the Christmas card picture that I’m craving for, and the clock is counting down on printing deadlines.

A light flurry is forecast for Thursday - it would be lovely to have a fresh covering for the late night shopping. If you feel inspired, a Snowman of Wivenhoe would be ace. You never know - it may even make its way onto a Christmas card coming your way.

Watch where yer sticking that carrot…

Full flickr set over here.