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To the Town Council Offices on Monday evening for an eve of Solstice pagan sacrifice, aka as a Wivenhoe Town Council monthly meeting. Peace, love and understanding were in the estuary air, and so was a Conservative Borough Councillor.

Cripes.

Suited and booted (me, not the Conservative Borough Councillor) and arriving fashionably late as ever, it was standing room only around the top civic table. I perched my backside strategically on the edge of the Press table, sitting on the fence and waiting to hear all about parking problems and dog pooh.

Eleven fine members of the public were left scrambling for seats for THE hot ticket in town that night. Bell ringing practice in Wivenhoe is on Wednesdays, Comrades.

Joining the Little People was a rare and welcome appearance from LibDem Councillor Manning of the Cross ward, Conservative Councillor Quarrie of the Quay and the ever present, ever smiling Councillor Ford, Labour’s red flag waving #workingforwivenhoe Comrade also from the Quay.

It’s not quite Never the Twain, but the political hot potato that was on everyone’s lips was when the chuffers will the Borough Councillors get it on with the Town Councillors?

Concern has been expressed by the UNPAID Town Councillors that communication with the big boys and girls of the Borough is not flowing quite as frequently as perhaps it should.

With Section 106 wonga floating around in Wivenhoe - a classic you scratch my back brown envelope time - the Town Councillors want to make sure that Borough Councillors are singing from the same St Mary’s Wivenhoe hymn sheet.

“Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always.”

And whilst yer at it, let’s chuck some cash from the Cook’s payback fund on a much needed new zebra crossing outside of the Co-op, Comrades.

It’s a fun filled life being a Borough Councillor. Sacrifices have to be made, and we’re not talking about the Solstice shindig on the muddy banks of the Colne either. Friday night has been put aside as a possible timeslot when Never the Twain will divvy up the local dosh.

Phew, rock ‘n roll.

A bit of local admin, and then we were straight in with Reports from the Borough and County Councillors.

It’s all about accountability, I tell ya…

Councillor Young, Labour’s representative on Essex County Council (seriously) was unavailable, but had kindly submitted a written report:

“New ways of working with Highways should make it easier for 20mph zones to be introduced around both schools in Wivenhoe. I have been in constant dialogue with Tracy Chapman, the Highways advisor on this.”

Hurrah!

Hang on - Tracy Chapman? 20mph? Talk about a Fast Car, etc.

Sticking with the #workingforwivenhoe Comrades, and Councillor Ford of the Quay was next to address the meeting:

“I called in the planning application for Rectory Hill. I was unhappy with the visibility of the approach, and the drainage. Highways are happy with the visibility, and I have been advised that the drainage concerns are a civil matter.

My concern about the limited parking space was upheld. The developer has hastily added in four extra parking spaces. The planning application has now been passed.”

Up towards the Cross ward and our two LibDem representatives have also been busy with congestion. A rare absence from Councillor Cory (pressing matters on the Policy Panel) but a written submission instead:

“I have been pressing the University about fixing a date for the Clingoe Hill closure ahead of the start of the Knowledge Gateway development. This has now been moved to the start of the summer holidays, to try and limit the congestion. I still expect we will have one - two weeks of aggravation.”

And then some.

Defying the #workingforwivenhoe election period claims that *ahem* “no LibDems are in Wivenhoe,” the Love Me I’m a Liberal lot then had safety in numbers with Councillor Manning of the Cross ward offering up his report to the Town Council:

“I am now sitting on the Planning Committee at Colchester Borough Council. NOTHING will get through.”

Cripes.

“I also have a new notebook to keep track of all the potholes that continue to appear.”

Yeah, and possibly a pitch to become a Glum Councillor as well.

Fine work, though fella.

It’s not quite a case of shuffling the deckchairs on the Titanic, but Conservative Councillor Quarrie of the Quay reported:

“I have been moved off Planning and now sit on Licensing.”

Which must be bad news for the 24/7 nightclub that I had planned for the Quay.

“Parking around the Cook’s development remains a key issue. The road has yet to be adopted by the County Council, which causes problems when we are trying to police it.”

Eight years and counting, my good Councillor…

Also giving cause for concern is the re-routing of the 74 bus route. Peter Kay, the Public Transport Representative explained how First Group, the current franchise operator, has sneakily slipped in a new route, which completely bypasses the town, turning off for Clacton instead.

“How ridiculous,” commented Councillor Kraft. She wasn’t alone in her observations and a polite, but purposeful letter is probably being penned from WTC right now.

The concern is that the move has been poorly advertised. Yoof may catch the bus, expecting a journey into Wivenhoe. With the sudden turn off, they could be out of town and out of funds as they speed off for an impromptu away day at the seaside.

A lengthy conversation then followed about the 20mph zone along the railway bridge at the bottom of the town. I became completely lost; I wasn’t alone.

Speaking in relation to transport matters, Peter Kay then posed the question:

“What does Wivenhoe Town Council propose to do about the annual nonsense that is the Wivenhoe May Fair?”

Cripes.

Awkward.

Having had this curveball thrown at him from across the civic chamber, Mayor Needham composed himself and offered up the reply that the May Fair Committee are working with WTC on future solutions.

Moving on…

Perhaps a bit of Planning to get the party back on track? Former Councillors Liddy and Purdey have been granted special powers (oooh!) to continue the fine work that they have started in representing WTC when it comes to all things Cook’s.

As for that old family favourite of the planned new Wivenhoe Surgery? Councillor Lodge updated with news that the deal is “far from dead.” The PCT has put the plan to the Doctor’s at the old surgery to see if they want to move forward.

Having a pre-defined national NHS policy as a framework in which to make these decisions would be nice.

Hey hoe.

In WTC Personnel news - THIS JUST IN: New litter picker James has impressed so much that he has been awarded a permanent position after the successful completion of his trial.

Hurrah!

Handling the aftermath of May Fair must have been a stern test, and one that James handled magnificently.

Onto the best bit - the Best Value Committee (aka secretly as the pre-WTC prepping meet where the real Council business is decided - behind closes doors - or so the suggestion has been made to me…)

Anyone been to Stanway of late? Apart from offering up a most splendid jazz club, my knowledge of our Colchester near neighbours is somewhat limited. This is all about to change, with WTC proposing to adopt the Stanway system of committees for local governance. The buggers better have the ACE Working Woods Party.

Back to Wivenhoe however, and in a turkeys voting for Christmas move, WTC agreed unanimously to foot the bill to pay for Mayoral badges for ex-Mayor’s.

Mmm…

It’s a badge of honour, and probably on balance one that is a worthy memento for the UNPAID work of Wivenhoe Town Councillors during their hectic year of civil service.

A slight shuffle along the press bench, and it was here that I made my strategic switch to *shhh* the Conservative hot seat.

Cripes.

All the best parties finally kick into action as the night closes in, and as the public chamber emptied and m’Conservative friend departed to ponder why Wivenhoe still hasn’t got a new surgery under the inspiring leadership of the Coalition, I played musical chairs.

Mr Mayor updated WTC about his activities, in what has been a very busy first month in office:

“I have attended sixteen formal events in the past month. The highlights included visiting Wivenhoe Youth Hub [ditto] the parade of the 16 Air Assault Brigade through Colchester, the opening of the *shhh* Quiet Garden at Broomgove Shcool and the Helping Hands AGM.”

Pleased to report that Helping Hands appears to be in sound financial hands, thanks to some very generous donations locally.

Five points then came out of the Community Safety feedback:

(i) Inconsiderate parking remains an issue (even though WTC, after taking police advice, decided not to implement a considerate parking scheme within the town…)

(ii) The local crime figures are low. A slight increase in burglary however has been recorded. The police have suggested that this is possibly a local gang, with laptops and TV’s being the main items going missing.

(iii) Traffic routes to Cook’s Shipyard have deviated.

Eh?

It appears that companies that don’t take the designated route down Valley Road are in danger of losing their contracts. Keep yer eyes peeled around *cough* Queens Road, Comrades.

(iv) Ball games by the Medway are showing some signs for concerns. Elder kids are getting slightly enthusiastic, with the balls entering into the road.

(v) And finally Speed Watch - this is now being rolled out during the school run hours, with a focus upon Bobbitt’s Way and Elmstead Road.

A brief break for the passing around the chamber of the official civic spearmints (receipts available for inspection on request) and then whaddya know - apt timing and Finance.

Quotes are being sourced for a possible asbestos survey for the William Loveless Hall toilets. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it, etc.

In Correspondence news and an appeal for support from WTC for the emerging Radio Wivenhoe group has been received. This is not necessarily financial, but an endorsement.

Granted, with Mr Mayor proudly declaring:

“This is a positive feature for Wivenhoe. It is an aid for further communication and helps to promote the town. We earnestly support Radio Wivenhoe.”

Splendid.

Someone should sign that man up for a guest spot on Wiv Chat.

Oh, hang on…

A rallying call then went out for players to take part in the annual Town Cricket Match on the evening of 13th July at Rectory Road. The official civic quotation that came out on the evening is:

“WE WANT TO WACK THEM.”

Cripes.

Any Other Business?

With the Ten Acres development looking likely to start soon, a new access road will be in place within Wivenhoe. Peter Hill has formally suggested naming this in memory of Dr Ted Palmer.

Plus no WTC meeting can be complete without the perennial Engine Shed rumour.

HONK!!!!

Massive rumour alert: minuted, but not necessarily economical with the truth, the continual pub gossip of the old Engine Shed being bought up by a developer wrapped up the meeting.

Any views?

A stunned silence filled the chamber.

Time for that pagan sacrifice in the Network Rail car park, Comrades?

A weekend downpour of Biblical proportions, which can only mean that it’s time for the summer publication of Wivenhoe News.

Blimey.

Sea Defences Saga Flows On is the lead story.

See what they’ve done there?

“There has been much anger and dismay caused by the stripping of vegetation from the seawalls in Wivenhoe alongside our tidal river, both downstream and upstream from the flood barrier.”

The bad science justification that was bungled out by the Environment Agency is also re-published, as is a very kind plug for *cough* the Wivenhoe Forum thread.

What’s new here is the offer by the Natural England - the spineless body that rubber stamped the destruction - to re-plant 5,000 “compensatory trees” - you break our legs and we say thank you when you offer us crutches.

Eight hundred and fifty have been put aside for the North Essex estuary. Don’t go getting your digging spades out just yet, Comrades:

“In the Colne Estuary they [Natural England] have provided 850 small tress to Brightlingsea Town Council for a site to the east of the town.”

If you stand at White House Beach on a clear estuary morning, and then squint out over the water with one eye closed, you may just be able to see the benefits of the trees bestowed upon our beloved Brothers in Brightlingsea.

Cheers.

No worries. What we need is a smiling picture of a lovely local lady to add some cheer to the sea defence doom:

“Workers of Wivenhoe - Shelia Scammell, Lollipop Lady.”

Lovely.

Wivenhoe May Fair 2011 gets the p.2 treatment, in something of an after the Lord Mayor’s Show airing. Time to move on, time to plan and time to restore May Fair as a community event for 2012.

Speaking of Mayor’s, Cllr Sinclair is captured in one of his final acts of civic duty in what has been a busy year. The Guide’s Wedding Party is all part of wearing the Wivenhoe civic chains.

But it’s not all about the Brownies or Girl Guides. On a more serious note, there is a plea on p.2 for a new Scout Leader for Wivenhoe:

“Let’s not beat about the bush: twenty youngsters, full of energy and enthusiasm [and then some] raring to take up the opportunity offered by the Scouting movement.”

This is a BIG role that really needs filling. The Wivenhoe News editorial on p.3 plays with similar themes:

“Off the Rails seems to be looking for pretty much a whole new team, the Wivenhoe Society is limping along with no Secretary and a very small committee, the WEA has been without a Chair for a year and is about to lose its Secretary.

One of the things that you often here in praise of Wivenhoe is ‘there’s so much going on here.’ Well folks - things only happen because people organise them.”

Wise word, but maybe it is a reflection of the work / life balance? There are only so many hours in the day and bills still need to be paid. It’s no secret that I have had to severely cut back on my out of hour’s unpaid activity of late.

On a more lighter note and any news article that contains the phrase: “superb French folk music, played on hurdy-gurdies [geddin there!] and bagpipes” has to be a winner. The Town Meets Gown event gets a mention on p.3.

Dr Philippa Hawley and Halcyon Palmer pen a simply superb local historical account on the various Wivenhoe surgeries dating back over the past Century. It is apt timing, what with the STOP / START / STOP farce of the new Wivenhoe surgery by the Fire Station continuing to stall.

I’m not going to re-publish any of the copy here - this article is worthy of your purchase of Wivenhoe News alone. More of the same please.

The Two Ronnies of Wivenhoe local politics, Cyril Liddy and Dave Purdey, are given the It’s Goodbye From Me, and It’s Goodbye From Him headline.

With sixteen and eight years respectively serving as unpaid Town Councillors, both Cyril and Dave are rightfully given a short column to say a fond farewell.

Of sorts…

Along with Sheila Scammell and her lovely Lollipop Lady tales on p.8, Alison Kent also carries an ACE interview with Ray the Rubbish, the retiring litter picker of Wivenhoe:

“I think you should try to keep the front of your property clean, like the old days. Have pride in where you live.”

Hear, hear.

I didn’t realise that the job was only fourteen hours a week - Ray has seemed to be ever-present during my short stay here. Good luck to James, Ray’s replacement.

Aquatic matters are the concern on p.11. Lifeboat Week gets a deserved plug, as does the Wivenhoe branch of the Royal British Legion:

“Remembrance is a very large part of the Legion’s ethos. Those who attend the Legion Wednesday evenings will know that those who have given their lives in Afghanistan and other places in the service of their nation are individually remembered.”

The building fund for the Legion has been boosted by a donation of over £2,000 from the Boxing Day walk staged by WORC. £690 was also raised at the ACE fireworks display. October 29th is already in the calendar for one of the best nights that Wivenhoe is able to offer.

Next door but one at The Nottage and there is a plug for Water Marks - the Summer Exhibition, featuring local artists Alison Stockmarr, Barbara Peirson and Pru Green.

The exhibition is open on Sundays from 2pm - 5pm until 11th September, and on Regatta Day on 23rd July. It is VERY good. There’s a blog post already being lined up…

Speaking of the Regatta, Wivenhoe News reports:

“There will be the usual wacky races and about thirty stalls and a brass band. The pram race will take place on 22nd July.”

Wivenhoe Youth Hub continues to grow and develop new ideas and partnerships. Page 12 updates with reports on the gig at the Philip Road Centre by local band Rising Soul, a go-karting event organised with Brightlingsea’s 4Youth (reckon we got the better name…) as well as the ACE archery and rowing evening.

What is rather humbling about The Hub is that those involved offer so much more back into the community. There was a considerable presence at the WivSoc riverbank clean up, help offered at May Fair, as well as support for the Crabbing Competition next month down by the Quay.

Likewise good news coming out of the ADP Theatre School:

“Angie Diggens has booked the Colchester Charter Hall for a show with her Wivenhoe students, combining the best of her last two shows at Clacton.”

Saturday 25th June at 7:30pm, £12 a ticket, details on 282020.

Helen Chambers writes a review of the Gilbert and Sullivan Society production of Oklahoma! at the Loveless Hall:

“The singing was faultless, the whole cast strong and talented.”

And keeping with the Wivenhoe artistic feel, Andy Brooke writes a well-deserved homage to Moving Image:

“It’s great to see people you know in the audience and have a genuine community atmosphere, rather than renting a DVD at home.”

Further details of the Moving Image summer schedule are up on m’blog over here.

The rock ‘n roll rollicking rollercoaster ride that is Radio Wivenhoe (blimey) get a plug on p.14, as does a call for “journalists, bloggers and poets” for Off the Rails. The Wivenhoe Poetry Prize looks forward to the 2011 results as part of the poetrywivenhoe evening at The Greyhound on the 23rd June. Meanwhile a new University of the Third Age art group is starting at the Loveless Hall on 14th September.

All ‘appening - all ‘appening I tell ya.

The good folk of Wivenhoe Bookshop have an entire page to plug future activity, such is the depth of the programme that is on offer. Too much to condense into a throwaway blog paragraph - my suggestion would be to head to the Bookshop for a perusal and a polite chat.

Or even access the new Wivenhoe Bookshop @audioboo account.

Blimey.

Fine work, ladies, mighty fine work.

Open Gardens on p.16 is caught between the publishing deadline and the sheer splendour that was the most splendid event this spring. It remains the highlight to date of My Year in Wivenhoe - wonderful, wonderful community spirit and pleasure.

Keeping it green fingered and Wivenhoe Bloom explain a little more about the brilliant use of dead space on the Wivenhoe Triangle that is overlooked by the Co-op, the opticians and Jardine:

“The site belongs to Highways - it’s classed as a verge - but WTC has a licence to plant. Jardine has contributed a very generous donation of £250 towards the cost of materials and plants.”

I have no shame in plugging local businesses that put something back into the community. An excellent gesture and kind contribution, Cristian. Jolly good work, Jardine.

The Parish Paths Partnership column penned by Helen Evans on p.16 puffs out a huge PHEW after finding out that Essex County Council continues to support the hyperlocal initiative.

Three Wivenhoe rights of way have been worked on by P3 to day: the side of Broomgrove Schools, the back of the houses in Broome Grove and the path along the top of the sea wall - you might have already heard about the latter…

So successful is the Wivenhoe P3 project that the group has now become a roving project. It is the A-Team of parish paths partnerships. If you have a problem with some overgrown bramble around the North Essex estuary, this crack team of cleaners should be first on your To Call list.

Cripes.

The joyous news coming out of p.17 and the WAGA update is:

“Spring is finally here.”

Hurrah!

Mayor Needham (woh!) explains more about the recent Beating the Bounds walk around Wivenhoe:

“The tradition of beating the bounds came from a time when no one, except the rich, could leave the parish without permission. It was a method of ensuring that local youngsters knew the limits of their parish.

It involved choir boys, the Parish Clerk and clergymen, leaving from the church armed with wands or sticks.”

Splendid. Soft lot, nowadays. The tradition was restored on 5th June this year. No young child was hurt in reviving this most excellent local tradition.

Wivenhoe bird watcher supreme Richard Allen explains very helpfully the difference between swifts, swallows and martins on p.18. Recent local sightings include:

“Nightingales have arrived in good numbers with a particularly vocal bird near the railway underpass along the Trail. Butterflies have enjoyed the good early weather.”

The ever-observant @AnnaJCowen (blimey) has also spotted a Jay along the Trail.

It all gets rather saucy at the foot of p.18 with Spoons, Spurtles and Spatulas.

Oh Lordy.

“Members of the Wivenhoe Woods Working Party recently attended a day’s course in green woodworking. Instruction was given on how to turn wood on a pole lathe and make spoons and other utensils using knives and a shave horse.”

Phew.

A Personal View of Transition Town Wivenhoe by the good Bob Mehew on p.19:

“I considered Wivenhoe a good place for a Transition Town: strong community spirit; a great awareness of climate change, environmental and sustainability issues; a willingness to get involved, to learn, to educate, to participate.”

TTW continues to grow and innovate. Wivenhoe is all the better for it.

The Wivenhoe Townscape Forum (*not* the Wivenhoe Forum…) gets a deserved article on p. 19:

“There is much in Wivenhoe of historic interest. There are 73 buildings in the town which are included in the English Heritage list of buildings of national interest.

The local list of historic assets is being carried out with the support of WTC and WivSoc, in order to list some of the best historical features of Wivenhoe which have not yet been recognised so that they do not become forgotten in the huge amount of new building and development.”

Bill Ellis writes a brilliant personal account of life at Cook’s Shipyard when the order books were full, with comparisons of the modern day site. Photos of the new jetty accompany this on p.22.

We return to the seawall clearance on p.24 with Peter Kennedy, the esteemed Editor of Wivenhoe News, explaining the depth of debate that this has delivered:

“We have received many pages of emails and submissions, and I shall attempt some sort of overview.”

A summary of comments and complaints follow. The consensus is that the Environment Agency has been crap at communication.

Fine work then from Wivenhoe News, which has put some direct Q’s to the EA, and received some rather direct answers:

“Q: Were any badgers found during the Wivenhoe work?

A: No - there were no badgers found for the Wivenhoe work.

Q: Are any of the proposed sites for compensatory replanting located in the Wivenhoe area?

A: No. Wivenhoe Marsh has found to be unsuitable.”

That’s what happens when you rip the entire natural habitat out, fellas.

Whoops.

The Surgery Saga Grinds On is the p.25 message from Bernard Jenkin, MP. Nothing to do with your national coalition NHS policy, I trust, Sir?

To be fair to the MP for Harwich and North Essex, our Conservative colleague airs a sense of frustration over the continued delay:

“The Government’s decision to review its health legislation raises the immediate concern that the new Wivenhoe GP surgery will be beset by even more uncertainty. There is no case for this. There is no excuse for further delays, and I have made this clear to the CE of the PCT.”

Speaking of the impact of coalition policies on a hyperlocal level, p.26 explains more about the £9k (!!!!) tuition fees that @Uni_of_Essex proposes to introduce.

Some PR fluff from the University is then re-printed. Twenty-one summers ago and I was fishing around for a University place. £9k (or the inflationary equivalent) would have put me off considerably. I wouldn’t have heard of Wivenhoe. I wouldn’t have moved here.

Oh how fickle is the Invisible Hand that pushes and prongs us through the life’s great adventures.

Blimey.

Town and Gown fiscal relations are restored with news of the £2,200 raised at November’s dinner at the Nottage, and now handed over as a bursary to five grateful local Wivenhoe students.

Broomgrove Infants updates on p.28 with reports of the Royal Wedding celebrations; Broomgrove Juniors explain more about the Outside / In project with Slack Space in Colchester.

Celebrations also at Millfields - a fond farewell to Angela Eglington after twenty-five years of teaching, as well as the school’s very own 30th birthday.

WivSoc rightfully reflects on the success of the riverbank clean up, with seventy volunteers stepping forward to help clean up the Colne. The sad winding up of the Wivenhoe Youth Theatre is lamented, with more positive news coming from the Colne School Choir’s recent performance in Wivenhoe.

Councillor Sinclair reflects upon his past year of civic service wearing the gold chain on p.30:

“I would have like to have seen a healthy election this year as we are entitled to 13 Councillors. Sadly there were only eleven candidates, hence no WTC election.”

Plus:

“A planning application has been lodged to demolish the St John Ambulance Hall for replacement with a privately owned project. I am part of a project to save the building. A group of people have come together, with funds, to keep it as a usable community facility.”

Mayor Needham writes on p.30 about the challenges that lay ahead for his administration:

“The proposed medical centre, a future for the former police station; reaching a satisfactory conclusion to the planning gains associated with the Cook’s Yard development and keeping an eye on the gains that maybe derived from any further development.”

The local politicos were caught cold ahead of publication deadlines. Columns from Essex County Councillor Julie Young, Colchester Borough Councillors Steve Ford and Mark Cory, were all penned before the re-election of the latter two.

Great fun to watch from the sidelines, mind.

On the sporting front and Wivenhoe Tennis Club has a call for new members; Andrew Nightingale, the Chair of the Wivenhoe and District Sporting Facilities Trust is also asking for help - financial help - for Broad Lane. Anymore updates on the mystery Mr X and his millions?

And to finish on some hyperlocal happiness - Wivenhoe Helping Hands publishes a rather humble piece, explaining more about the volunteer work of this organisation and how it is genuinely helping folk around the town.

Wivenhoe News is sold at the Co-op, Crossways, the Post Office, Bryans Newsagents and the lovely Wivenhoe Bookshop.

To the Town Council Office on Monday evening for the first formal meeting of the new Wivenhoe Town Council administration. With four new Councillors sitting around the top table, the pub pecking order etiquette was observed for the seating arrangements:

“Oooh - you can’t sit there, m’ lovely. That’s old Alfie’s seat.”

But old Alfie [MADE UP NAME] is no longer with us, so dip yer bread, young blood.

I strategically took up my place sitting right by the door. You never know when you might want to make an early exist to watch #nffc’s season implode yet again.

Whoops.

Elsewhere around the chamber of fun and it was pleasing to see that all seats in the public gallery were taken. I say ‘public gallery,’ but I of course means the liberal (steady) scattering of chairs around the perimeter of the room.

Was an anarchic late spring Wivenhoe revolution uprising in the air? Um, nope - just the rightly proud family and friends coming along to support the new administration.

D-mob happy and ready to take a well-deserved back seat, Mr Mayor apologised for the non-appearance of the Lady Mayor (impending music duties - that’s fine, Madam) and then listened to a glowing eulogy from Councillor Needham, praising the civic year just passed:

“We made a wonderful decision twelve months ago to elect Councillor Sinclair as our Town Mayor.”

A bottle of something slightly stronger than the Adam’s Ale on the top table was handed over, which will hopefully be sufficient to see Councillor Sinclair through those long Wivenhoe winter nights. A bouquet then followed for the music making Lady Mayor.

It’s a rank old world, this business of local politics - now take up yer seat, kind Sir, back at the opposite end of the table.

In a game of grandee musical chairs, Councillor Needham then took up his place at the top of the table, and the formal handing over of the chains and the Mr Mayor title took place. I have a feeling that the “We made a wonderful decision…” speech will deservedly played out again this time next year.

Continuing the procession of politico titles, behind every great man there has to be a great woman. The new Mr Mayor has two - blimey.

With the (new) Lady Mayor also looking resplendent in the gallery, it was soon time to endorse Councillor Kraft as the new Deputy Mayor for the duration of the political calendar.

A local Wivenhoe league system of sorts is in place, to decide who gets to rise (and fall) with the civic chain. It is almost on par with the election of a new Pope, with the high and mighty having to come to an agreement to endorse a candidate.

It wasn’t quite smoke signals wafting down the High Street and high jinks and rejoicing all the way down to the Rose and Crown, but a three endorsements, one against and “a number of abstentions…” completed the process.

Civic duties complete, back to Civvy Street and the complexes of Town Council business. It is around this point in the evening when a young (ish) blogger usually loses the plot and fails to follow the thread.

I tried to keep up with the constitutional discussion about the Community Working Party, but to be honest, my mind (and iPhone) was elsewhere. Two quick first half goals for Swansea and I trust none of the esteemed Councillors noticed the whispered profanities that almost delayed the important business of the Community Working Party.

As I understand (actually, I don’t) and the issue here was one of adopting a new way of working with committees, chairs and communication. It wasn’t quite as severe as Forest going in 2-0 down at half time (seriously,) but the Town Clerk did interject with:

“What is being proposed is not a valid procedure and I would like this minuted please.”

Blimey.

For the record I also DIDN’T swear in the Council chamber when the second Swansea goal went in, but I wouldn’t mind if that was minuted.

With the WTC constitution changing in June (I think) Councillor Kraft raised concern that three committees are currently without Chairs, following the introduction of a new administration.

Straight off the subs bench and the abundance of new local political talent within Wivenhoe soon served as a stopgap. I don’t suppose any of the four new Bright Young Things of WTC could play up front for Forest whilst they are at it?

As with all new organisations, roles and responsibilities need to be carefully laid out. What followed was a shuffling of the WTC pack, and the allocation of representation on various local and civic organisations. Ah - but who is the joker in the pack, Comrades?

The Colchester Association of Local Councillors role went to Councillor Lodge; Civic Protection was taken by Councillor Needham. Our Public Transport Representative remains the good Peter Kay, Community Safety is covered once again by Councillor Lodge and Councillor Needham will continue his good relations with WivSoc.

Wearing his nautical hat and Councillor Sinclair will represent WTC on the Colne Estuary Partnership. The Wivenhoe Housing Trust will have the fine company of Councillor Needham, the District Board and Facilities Trust role fell to Councillor Lodge, Councillor Kraft sticks with NAP and Wivenhoe in Bloom will have the green-fingered representation from Councillor Richards.

This was very much a putting your house in order meeting for the new administration. Subscriptions were up for renewal next. I thought that the ever keen and eager WivSoc had the tin rattling down to a fine art, what with a door knock and a kindly “pay up, pal” request earlier in the month.

WTC agreed to renew the following subscriptions:

The Essex Association of Local Councillors - £824 per annum - ouch! In return, Mr Mayor stated that WTC gains many official documentation templates that are most useful.

One would hope so, at just under a grand.

Essex Fields and Trusts - £35 pa

The Institute of Crematorium Management - £90 pa (deadly silence…)

The Society of Local Council Clerks - £120 pa

Essex Regional Employers - £130 pa

Direct Information Service (nope, me neither…) £90 pa

Community Management Association - £116 pa. This is the body that grants a licence to enable the running of the Community Mini Bus.

The Council for the Protection of Rural Essex - £29 pa (I wonder which side they bat for as the Environment Agency continues to vandalise our locality?)

The Council for National Allotments - £25 pa and

The Friends of Historic Essex - £10 pa.

Not a great deal of overall expenditure, but there are a lot of local bodies that are making money out of local government. Meanwhile, the Association of Nerdy North Essex Semi-Politico Local Bloggers is about to go back in the red, Comrades - and I’m not talking metaphorical, either.

The minutes for the Annual Town Meeting were then adopted. A lengthy discussion followed about Section 106 money, what it means and why it is important. My understanding is that it is essentially the classic local authority you scratch my back argument: yep, you can build yer mega superstore, but give our community a brown envelope stuffed full of grubby fivers first.

For administrative, political and possibly hyperlocal territorial reasons, the dosh for Wivenhoe is split between the Quay and the Cross. The former obviously benefited greatly with the Cook’s redevelopment 106 money; the latter looks like coming out rather nicely after the University has finished making a mess of Wivenhoe Park with the Knowledge Gateway nice little earner. WTC is in favour of being able to distribute this money WHEREVER it sees fit in the town.

Reports from local political representatives followed. Councillor Julie Young, the Colchester Representative on Essex County Council spoke first.

“I am now no longer the only Labour member at ECC - we have formed a group with the election of another Labour member. I have taken up the position of the Leader of the Labour group.”

Cripes, Comrade: We are all equal, but some are more equal than others, etc.

The hard-working Councillor Young updated with plans for a public footpath leading from Broadfields towards the Football Club:

“This is now the third highest Highways priory in all of Essex. It will be a slow process, but discussions are already in place with the landowner. I am happy to report that relations between the Trust and the Football Club are now much better. The Football Club is welcoming a group of disabled young adults into the clubhouse to use the space as a social area.

Other items updated by Councillor Young included the building of a shelter for students waiting for the Colne bus, congratulating the 20 students volunteers from the University who took part in a recent litter pick, and the promise to look at the faded zebra crossing at The Cross - a point that was raised by a resident at the Annual Town Meeting.

Councillor Young then risked the wrath of the entire Tendring Peninsula by bringing up the Clingoe Hill and the disruption that the Knowledge Gateway is about to bring:

“We are still unsure when the roadworks will begin. It is hoped that these will be completed by the start of the new academic year, which indicates that they should be imminent.”

The newly re-elected Councillor Steve Ford, one of Wivenhoe Quay’s representative at Colchester Borough Council, then addressed the chamber:

“I personally take the Mayor Making process very seriously. Wivenhoe is very lucky in consistently having excellent candidates to fill this role.”

With the past month (and more) spent on the stump, Councillor Ford had little political content to add, although he did remark:

“I thought that my election campaign was going to be dramatic, but it wasn’t so, as it turned out…”

Ouch.

The #workingforwivenhoe fine fella did update on the planning update for nine flats along Rectory Road:

“I have concerns over parking and draining, and have raised these with the Council. The Planning officers agree, and this application will now be heard in front of the Committee.

Valley Road to Bobbit’s Way continues to suffer from potholes and more serious infrastructure damage. I will keep on reminding Highways of this.”

A quick race through the various WTC committee reports, although being a new administration, there was little to report back on. A new picnic bench has been installed in the wood, to replace the one that was sadly vandalised.

Likewise a bench has now been placed on the sea wall, looking out to Rowhedge (although why anyone would want to sit down and actually look out towards Rowhedge is beyond me.)

Councillor Sinclair then reminded WTC about the official confirmation received regarding the continued vandalism of our unique local environment by the Environment Agency:

“We have heard that this work will now be ongoing, with the diggers arriving sometime over the next two weeks. I am sure that our phones will be ringing and WTC will have plenty of complaints from residents.

The work by the EA is an approved policy - all we can do as a council is to refer any complaints to the official literature that we have received.”

Mr Mayor added:

“The EA knows what it is doing.”

Here’s hoping…

A quick refresh of the iPhone, and yep - Forest were still trailing 2-0. Time for a pick me up - time to conclude the first meeting of the new administration with news of what Mr Mayor has planned during his Wivenhoe civic year:

“A tea party (July) Wivenhoe’s Got Talent (cripes - February) and a Tramp’s Supper (come as you are - October.)”

Civic representation is promised at all three events. The tea party sounds charming; Wivenhoe’s Got Talent equally excites and worries me. The Tramp’s Supper is tailor made for many folk around these parts.

Perfect.

To the William Loveless Hall on Wednesday evening for a hot date with @AnnaJCowen.

Cripes.

I told the girl that I had secured tickets for a performance that involves bling, envelopes stuffed full of cash being handed over and a back row seat. I didn’t disappoint.

The Annual Town Meeting of Wivenhoe Town Council starred the most magnificent Mr Mayor all chained up and handing over cheques to the recipients of the Mayor’s Charity. The back row seat lived up to its billing - you don’t know who yer asking political questions of, once the sun starts to set over Wivenhoe.

And so this was THE hot civic ticket for the evening. I say ticket, but any Tom, Dick or Harry strolling in off the High Street could have gained access. I did see a Tom and a Harry. As for Dick?

Steady, Jase. Steady.

We all love the Loveless Hall (right?) but Mr Mayor did his best to demolish it with a swing of the civic hammer to herald the start of the formal meeting. Everyone’s favourite town council hall was pretty much full, with an impressive turn out to witness local Wivenhoe democracy.

Mr Mayor delivered his formal speech, outlining the highs and lows of his civic year:

“We have broken away from the norm this year by staging a number of new social events. This has been a most interesting year where I have met some really lovely people. Working with the schools and the University must be top of my personal list.”

Ever humble, Mr Mayor added:

“My failures have been in chasing Highways for salt during the cold snap. Jim and Andy, the Council groundsmen, put in an extra mile. We hope to be pro-active as a Council, should such bad weather return to Wivenhoe.”

Paying tribute to the retiring litter picker Ray Smith, Mr Mayor spoke glowingly of the role that Ray has played in the local community. A presentation took place, with a bottle of brandy, an engraved brandy glass and an engraved spade handed over.

Best hold on to that Ray - you may just need this when WTC is next called upon to be pro-active…

Andrew Clairborn from Anglia Ruskin University was then invited to explain more about some of the architectural designs in place around the Loveless Hall. Students on the urban planning course have been visiting Wivenhoe, looking for ideas to create a civic centre on the land that covers the Loveless Hall, the old police houses and the Town Council Offices:

“The brief is for our students to understand the social fabric of Wivenhoe. Every student comments on what a fantastic place this must be to live. One student was short-listed with her designs, leading to a Whitehall reception.”

Councillor Fran Richards addressed the meeting, putting in a call to arms for plans for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee next summer:

“We don’t want this to be a WTC led event - we want to involve the whole community.”

I’m not exactly one for a right Royal knees up, but celebrating the Establishment nuptials a few weeks back at a Wivenhoe Town FC beer festival almost turned me into a flag waver. More of the same please.

The distribution of the Mayor’s Charity Fund followed. It was truly ace to see representation from all walks of Wivenhoe life, all deserving, all working for a better Wivenhoe.

I fired up my trusty F717, perched down at the front of the stage and handed over the official notepad duties to @AnnaJCowen. With firm instructions to “scribble down every group name,” we didn’t get off to a good start when the girl replied “what?”

We are almost approaching hearing aid enhancement for the poor girl, and so apologies if some of the deserving groups have been missed off the list:

East Anglia Children’s Hospice, St Helena Hospice, Parachute Regiment Afghanistan Trust, The Over 60′s Club (membership form for @AnnaJCowen, please?) Age Concern Luncheon Club, Helping Hands, St Mary’s Church, Wivenhoe Methodist Church, Wivenhoe Congregational Church, St Michael’s Church (I think that’s all bases covered…) Transition Town Wivenhoe (hurrah!) Wivenhoe Folk Club, Wivenhoe Ferry Committee, Wivenhoe Town Regatta, Wivenhoe May Fair Committee, Wivenhoe in Bloom, Wivenhoe Co-operative Community Board, Colne Community Music Exchange, Millfields School, Broomgrove School, Avenue Playgroup, the Wivenhoe Free School, Wivenhoe Swingers Society [um, you sure about this one?] Wivenhoe Toddlers Group. Scout and Guides Association, The Hub (hurrah! hurrah!) Educational Aid for Children in Africa, Wivenhoe Sporting Facilities Trust, Wivenhoe Junior Badminton, Wivenhoe Junior Cricket Club and Wivenhoe Junior Sailing Club.

Phew.

And relax.

Pretty much all organisations were represented on the night, and if they weren’t, it was because they had group activities taking place. A blogger who is bored of London can bugger off out towards the North Essex estuary wilds, and then find such a diverse range of groups and activities that the temptation is to say: woh - where to start?

Um, back to London?

‘fraid not, Comrades…

Over £3,000 in total was distributed by Mr Mayor. There are even some coins left in the civic cap for the incoming Mr Mayor, thanks to a very generous donation from the Wivenhoe Youth Theatre, which sadly folded earlier in the year.

With the meet ‘n greet handshakes and cheesy photos filed away, time for the formal business end of the meeting; time for a swift half across the road over at The Greyhound.

Only joking.

The minutes from the 2010 meeting were approved and then the Annual Report and Financial Statement were up for discussion. Both are essential bedtime reading. Both seemed inappropriate for back row consumption whilst out on a hot date with @AnnaJCowen. Best left for the bedroom, luv.

With no formal resolutions, questions were opened up to the floor. I almost put up my hand by instinct, and came out with my annual “why do I have to pay TWICE to swim in Lambeth owned pools?”

Whoops.

Wrong Borough, Comrade.

Q: Any news on the new surgery?

A: We are expecting a final decision within the next month. We are ready to go, and if we are given the money, work can start tomorrow.

Wow.

Q: What of the empty police houses? *cough* @asset_transfer…

A: We understand that these WILL be sold. WTC has expressed an interest, but we have to look at the long-term logistics. How do we furnish the loan? Do we have the support of all residents? We are waiting to hear the final asking price.

Q: Cars are still speeding down Station Road. The road is also falling apart. Will speed bumps be put in place?

A: No.

Q: On behalf of Neighbourhood Watch, are there any WTC plans to adopt the Considerate Parking scheme that is already in place in Brightlingsea?

A: [from Councillor Penny Kraft] I have already answered this question at the last Neighbourhood Watch meeting that you chaired.

Ouch.

As previously blogged, WTC won’t be adopting the Considerate Parking scheme. Residents cause the problems in Brightlingsea and it is relatively easy to administer. Commuters are the problem in Wivenhoe - WTC doesn’t know who it is dealing with.

Q: Any plans for 41 Acres behind the cricket club?

A: This plot of land has now been sold. A small amount can be built upon. We are watching this closely.

Q: Can you extend the skateboard park?

A: We have been approached by the elder skateboarders who have now outgrown the existing facility. There is a wish list, should funds be free. The skate park is high up on the agenda.

Q: What the chuffers is happening with the Engine Shed?

Oh Lordy.

A: It doesn’t belong to WTC and so we have little power. There is the very real danger that the building will collapse. Network Rail has wrapped up the building to try and preserve it. This is as far as we can get from them.

Q: What of disable access at the station?

A: No further updates…

Q: The zebra crossing up by The Cross is fading.

A: We will take a look at this [plus helpful interjection by the helpful Councillor Young of Essex County Council.]

Speaking of the big boys and girls (some more bigger than others) and Mr Mayor formally congratulated Councillor Steve Ford (Labour, Quay ward) on his re-election to Colchester Borough Council, as well as Councillor Mark Corey (LibDems, Cross ward.)

One loud round of applause, one loud (ish) round of applause.

The new Town Councillors were then introduced (helloooo!) following the lack of election with not enough names stepping forward. Mr Mayor then paid a very warm tribute to the various retiring Town Councillors.

Hear, hear.

We were reminded that Wivenhoe is a very apolitical community, with our elected (or not, as the case may be…) representatives very much working for Wivenhoe (geddin there!) rather than the petty tribalism of party politics.

This warmed my heart, and the bosom of @AnnaJCowen, as we shared a bag of chips from Papa’s on the way home.

To the Town Council offices on Tuesday evening for the April Wivenhoe Neighborhood Action Panel meeting. I was in good company as well - with 5th May and polling day rapidly approaching, it was encouraging (and not surprising) to see a raft of local politico types from the red and blue side of the great divide, all squaring up around the Town Council table and talking complete twaddle.

Whoops - wrong Borough / Town.

This is Wivenhoe etc. We are overtly political with a small c (and it doesn’t stand for what is use to do back in m’South London days, Comrades…)

Ah, but wait - what’s this? It’s only the Deputy Speaker of the House of Lords entering the Wivenhoe Town Council chamber.

Cripes.

Esteemed company indeed, with Mr Deputy substituting the political hot potato of Westminster for parking, pedestrians and dog pooh in Wivenhoe.

It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

One by one, and jaws dropped in the Wivenhoe food chain of politico hierarchies. We had Wivenhoe Town Councillors, Colchester Borough Councillors and Essex County Councillors all present. The top trump of them all was the Deputy Mr Wig, here in an observation role, to see how local policing works.

Lovely to have you here in the Hoe, kind Sir. I hope that this little slice of local democracy compared well to the day job back in the chamber.

And so what of this little slice of local democracy, Comrades?

Um…

Arriving ever so slightly fashionably late, I interrupted the good Chair in full flow, who was about to abandon the Wivenhoe NAP. Well, not quite, but certainly a common sense scaling down of the current schedule of meeting every couple of months.

The reasoning? Parking (and not dog pooh) dominates the NAP agenda. In these austere and uncertain of economic times (I noted Mr Deputy making a note of this) there is very little dosh in the Essex County Council budget to implement any NAP arrangements.

I’m sure we’d all rather be back at base, watching Eastenders, or whatever it is that local politico and community types do of a spare Tuesday evening.

The rubber stamp of the long arm of the law was required to pass this motion. A quick look around the council table and we appeared to be in a state of anarchy in Wivenhoe. Law and order was absent.

And then with perfect Keystone Cops comedy timing… ‘evening all.

‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello - what have we here then? It’s only the very decent Sgt Middleton and PC Bond arriving at the scene of the non-crime. Protocol was observed; NAP resolved to meet once a quarter. Back to the cops and robbers on Eastenders then.

But first a brief run through of what was left on the NAP agenda. With all but one item relating to traffic, Mr Chair asked if there were any objections in not having to sit through a car crash of a NAP agenda, debating transport issues when there is plenty of political will, but not much economic capital.

Essex County Councillor Julie Young added a positive update to the transport agenda. The lady’s not for turning (steady) but a u-turn of sorts by Essex County Council was passed on from our Colchester representative.

A new parking initiative has been set up, roughly slicing the county between the north and the south. With Sunny Colch holding the power base in the north, all parking provision will be channeled through the Oldest Recorded.

This was implemented on 1st April (no kidding…) and is still being worked out at a County level as to how it will actually work at a #hyperlocal level. There is new funding however to be used for any outstanding parking issues. We may be political with a small c in here in Wivenhoe but our PARKING PROBLEMS are so bad that I have typed them in CAPS.

See what I did there?

The very decent NAP Chair suggested that if *any* funding comes our way, it should be put to use in resolving the continued parking congestion around Tesco.

Wwwwhat…?

Hang on - Tesco?

Yep - here in Wivenhoe. It seems that Londis / One Stop is about to be re-branded as Tesco. One Stop is simply the badge name anyway for what marketing types call a white label version of the brand.

Basically it means that the brand is toxic in a little local community, and so it gets a new name. It’s a bit like the Royal family pretending that they’re not really a bunch of bierwust biters. Except here in Wivenhoe, the brand is about to bite back. Tesco here we come.

Oh Lordy.

Such semantics shouldn’t lose track of the main traffic issue here: parking outside One Stop is a pain. Putting a new sign above the shop front ‘aint gonna solve the issue.

What we need is a #hyperlocal campaign; perhaps a budding local type with good intentioned politico ambitions to, y’know, start a petition.

Ah - lookey here - sitting to my left (and not my Left) was the very charming Mo Metcalfe Fisher, the Conservative candidate for the Wivenhoe Cross ward in the forthcoming Colchester Borough Council local elections.

Parking is an issue that Mo has addressed. If he can convince Essex County Council that the £30k needed to fob off BT and the like to implement a better parking scheme is worthwhile, then he deserves the job of, um, Deputy Speaker in the House of Lords.

And so having resolved not to talk about parking, the NAP then talked about parking and other car related matters: Blink and you’ll miss it - it’s only Speed Watch as the next agenda item…

There is some genuinely good news to report here. The Chair raised this issue at the recent meeting of NAP heads (something which I have been called once or twice in my time.)

Authorisation has now been given for the local team of trained volunteers to venture out on to Elmstead Road and point their pointy equipment at any speeding motorist. The only reason that this has not happened sooner is because of the recent road works.

Any passing motorist (or even cyclist) speeding up to Broad Lane best watch out as from now on. The Cross and Rectory Road are next up on the radar for the Speed Watch folk. Councillor Steve Ford chipped in with the suggestion of Bobbits Way in his Quay ward to also be under the Speed Watch consideration.

A debate then followed about exactly when this will all commence. Wearing my civic hat and I’m not going to tell you - the whole point is to catch out any boy racers / girl cyclists. Actually a date hasn’t been set; but it may be tomorrow. Or the day after. Or perhaps after the Royal Wedding? Well, sometime before the next NAP anyway.

Officially signed off under: PROGRESS.

Sgt Middleton then updated briefly on the continued search for any Emerging Communities in Wivenhoe. Nope - nothing; just an exiled South London blogger.

Any Other Business had a local resident raising the issue of unwelcome ball games being played by young folk around Henrietta Close up towards the top of the town. It started off as one of those provincial local matters that must have had Mr Deputy Speaker from the House of Lords scratching his ceremonial wig.

But this was a very real issue for the local resident, who articulated her case well, and developed the matter to become more of a concern about the bureaucracy of red tape at a very #hyperlocal level of governance.

Who do you turn to? The NAP? Turns out not, according to the NAP members. WTC? Colchester Borough Council? Essex County Council? The police?

All agencies have been approached, yet still the problem exists. This discussion was played out to a Carry On Red Tape conclusion. We even had a *shhh* Labour member praising Dave’s #bigsociety.

Blimey.

We soon got back on track with another AOB Q on Considerate Parking - or more to the point, why did the NAP rule out implementing a considerate parking scheme, as has been put in place over in Brightlingsea?

Sgt Middleton pointed out that he doesn’t want to tie up his staff with admin matters. A good point, and well made. A lively discussion followed, once again demonstrating that if the NAP is only in place to discuss parking, little will be resolved.

And so that was the April NAP done and dusted, and just about in time to catch Eastenders back at base. It wasn’t quite the soap opera I expected (NAP, not Eastenders) and there wasn’t exactly a cliffhanger at the end.

We’re very conservative with a small c in Wivenhoe. Mr Deputy Speaker would no doubt agree.

Finally, finally and it seems that the 20 mph speed limit for lower Wivenhoe is about to come into fruition. We’ve all seen the small signs from the Railway Bridge and further down towards the Quay; we’ve all seen how they have been covered up with bin bags whilst the politicians and police decide the best way to enforce this measure.

It now seems that the 20 mph zone is coming close to actually being implemented. The Gazette is reporting:

“Parents, drivers and community figures have welcomed the mass introduction of 20mph speed restrictions, despite an objection from the police. Thirty one roads in Wivenhoe look set to have the speed limits implemented in July, after more than two years of campaigning.”

This is an issue that continues to take up much discussion at both WTC and NAP meetings. All of those locally involved have sensed much frustration in the length of timeframe that it has taken for this to happen.

I’m still not sure exactly why The Gazette is running with the story right now; the paper itself even refers to July as the potential date for the zone to become law.

It couldn’t have anything to do with *shhh* the impending local elections, could it?

Oh Lordy…

Essex County Councillor, Julie Young, adds:

“When we added Station Road at the request of the Town Council and local residents, it required traffic management measures to be implemented, but residents objected to that, so they have gone forward with a sign-only scheme.”

I would argue that that it is almost impossible to reach speeds of in excess of 20 mph around most streets in lower Wivenhoe. The recent wall damage to the Old Manse reminds us that speed and traditional sailor cottages don’t mix. Station Road remains the exception.

However, it’s not all happy, happy, joy, joy as Wivenhoe gears up (or down) for the great go slow.

‘ello, ‘ello, ‘ello - what’s all this then?

“Essex Police have objected to the 20mph speed limit in Station Road, part of the main B1028, as it says there should be speed humps in place.”

An Essex Police spokesman is quoted as saying:

“Essex Police have lodged an objection to the proposal for a 20mph speed limit for Station Road in Wivenhoe. Station Road is a strategic road in the town. It has no traffic calming measures and is straight.

We believe introducing a 20mph limit with no additional measures would fail to achieve the desired reduction in speed, therefore failing to meet local residents’ expectations.”

Um, isn’t it the job of the police to enforce the law of the land?

Meanwhile, I remain slightly confused over the difference between a 20 mph zone, and a designated 20′s plenty town. This was debated at the recent WTC meeting, but I’m afraid I got lost on the detail. Any clarification in the comments below would be most welcome.

To the Town Council Offices on Monday evening for the monthly meeting of our friends from Wivenhoe Town Council. I say “friends” in complete sincerity - I don’t see Mr Speaker welcoming people into the Public Gallery at Westminster with a beaming smile and the offer of glacier mint.

Nine of our good Councillor’s were present around the top table on Monday, with a Civic suited, booted and blinged up Mr Mayor chairing the meeting. Three members of the public were also present, which has to be encouraging for local accountability and political access.

Essex County Councillor Julie Young spoke first, updating WTC on her recent work as Colchester’s representative at a county level. Traffic has once again been a priority, with speeding levels around Wivenhoe being a concern for local residents.

Rectory Road keeps on cropping up, along with the approach to Broomgrove School. Cllr Young has asked the police to intervene, whenever local residents raise the issue. A pilot study of the 20′s Plenty initiative has been undertaken. Cllr Young is chasing this up, with a view to rolling it our along the non-residential streets around Wivenhoe.

Keeping with the transport theme, Cllr Young then updated WTC over the issue of a footpath approach to the football club along Elmstead Road. Funding is in place for further investigation, with possible money for the implementation of the project being made available in April.

Those glacier mints then came in handy, when through *shhh* gritted teeth, Cllr Young bigged up Dave’s #bigsociety. Funding for around £50k (not so big then…) may be available for Colchester and Tendring. Individual grants of around £500 to kick-start #hyperlocal community projects within Wivenhoe could be up for grabs.

You call it #bigsociety, we call it Community Initiative - Cllr Young then outlined her track record on delivering with similar schemes locally, pointing out improvements to the skateboard park and new nets for the football pitches at KGV.

Inspiring Ideas is the name of a new initiative from Essex County Council. They like their positive lexicology, these politico types. I would suggest that if you have an idea that isn’t inspiring, then you probably shouldn’t even be thinking in the first place.

The good Cllr Young rightfully pointed out that Wivenhoe is full of inspiring ideas anyway. It is hoped that the countywide scheme will be able to improve communities at a local level.

Good idea, that…

Finally Cllr Young praised the wonderful folk of Wivenhoe Moving Image, and explained how she has helped out the independent community cinema to become a key holder at the Phillip Road Centre, as well as resolving extra access issues to allow increased screenings.

Questions to our council rep followed. WTC Cllr Kraft asked if Cllr Young would like to test out the new toilets that have just been completed at the William Loveless Hall.

Steady the buffers; and the bowels.

Next up on his feet for a bit of political stand up was the ever-entertaining Cllr Steve Ford, the Colchester Borough Council representative for the Quay ward. The good Cllr Ford could appear at a stand up comedy gig, and still raise a smile telling some right ripping yarns all about potholes.

Oh - hang on…

It is the working bain of any local councillor, and yep, potholes are once again particularly heavy on the mind of Cllr Ford. Park Road and “a whooper” (blimey) along Rebow Road have recently been reported by Cllr Ford.

An insider perspective on the 20′s Plenty scheme then followed, with Cllr Ford giving an insight into the chairing an all-party CBC committee. Unlike Cllr Ford, I’ll get straight to the punch line - CBC supports the idea of the scheme throughout the borough, but is looking at funding to carry out a consultation.

Boom boom.

High praise then followed for the Wivenhoe Gilbert and Sullivan Society and their recent performance of Oklahoma! at the William Loveless Hall. Cllr Ford described the production as “fantastic,” in a move which many saw as a possible angling for the warm-up spot next year.

Cllr Ford explained the more serious matter of a recent tricky planning application for the Royal British Legion down at the Quay. This was granted by CBC, allowing much needed improvements to the historic old building, but with strong objections to the current owner of Dickie and Dennis’ old house.

Cllr Ford was pleased to report that a resolution of sorts was achieved, proving that when handled diplomatically, planning can work for the benefit of the community.

New planning laws are about to be introduced. Cllr Ford asked WTC how best to publicise these within the town. Not read the most recent WTC Newsletter, Cllr Ford? Tsk tsk.

With the agenda racing through the chamber with all the speed of the 9:23 passing through Paget Road, we were then back on to WTC matters. The meeting then became slightly clouded for the untrained eyes and ears.

Talk turned towards internal admin matters, relating to communication with a transport officer. It all started off rather innocently, and then somehow the conversation became embroiled with private internal emails, with WTC deciding to debate the issue (whatever the issue was) once the public gallery had been cleared.

Mmm…

Moving on - time for the individual WTC committees to report back. It is only when you witness the scope and responsibilities of the unpaid WTC councillors that you realise how much work and effort goes into the job. No financial reward is on offer, and often little thanks come the way of the councillors.

Cllr Liddy led with Planning. Unfortunately talk once again turned towards updating the Cllr’s behind closed doors, with “legal matters and solicitor letters and meetings” being mentioned.

I have no more to add.

The new health centre is still plodding along with nothing new to report. The meeting heard how internal changes are currently being put in place at the current health centre, suggesting that the professionals involved aren’t planning for a positive outcome any time soon.

Finance and Admin reported back with rare praise from a member of the public in the manner in which WTC is dealing with the harsh reality of a significant cut in local authority funding. Sticking with balancing the books and the Best Value committee stated that Wivenhoe Youth Hub, the May Fair and Wivenhoe in Bloom are all expected to stay within the allocated budget.

Nothing to report on the Working Party and Estates, apart from a request from the wonderfully named Essex Stragglers to use Wivenhoe Wood for a mid-summer event on the evening of the 30th June. I’ve no idea what the Essex Stragglers actually do, but I’d wager that around chucking out time on the 30th June, I could well qualify for membership.

The next agenda item was everyone’s favourite of the Wivenhoe Woodwork Party. Mr Mayor reported that the group has been attending to Ferry Marsh after the recent clean up (yeah, right…)

On to more positive matters and it’s only the Wivenhoe Community Mini Bus - hurrah! In what became something of a surreal discussion, Mr Mayor updated on how the current vehicle serves our needs perfectly. With only 51,000 miles on the clock (that’s a lot of running around Wivenhoe,) the bus is working well with no need for an update.

We then entered into Maureen’s Driving School territory, with a driving test theory style discussion all about parking and avoiding bollards.

Blimey.

The Youth Facilities Working Party reported on the current provision, and how the focus is now turning towards the top of the town and the need to fill any gaps in the services available for our young folk. The ace Youth Council has been invited into the council chamber next week to hold session.

Sticking with the civic responsibility theme, Mr Mayor then replied to that standard Westminster question of asking what the chuffers the leader has been doing since the session last met.

Rather than respond with the jaded “I have been having meetings with my ministerial colleagues,” Mr Mayor proved the point that life in Wivenhoe has a far greater WOW! factor than living in Westminster:

“On Tuesday I visited the Youth Club which is going from strength to strength. I organised and attended the Mayor’s Civic Ball, raising money for the Mayor’s charity. I have witnessed the work being carried out at Broomgrove around Fair Trade. I went to the Colchester Mayor’s Civic event, where I was surrounded by bling. I have met with the bursary fund at the University. I am proud to announce that we will be funding five students next year. I have met with Wivenhoe Helping Hands, I attended the dedication of Major Tom Burt’s memorial and I thoroughly enjoyed Oklahoma!”

Cripes. Somebody pour that man a stiff G & T. Or even offer him another Civic glacier mint.

Meanwhile, Mr Mayor was then on the back foot, offering up an explanation as to why he was seen to be formally opening a botox and teeth whitening clinic.

Sucking in his cheeks, and with his best cheesy grin, Mr Mayor offered up the excellent answer of being offered a £200 gift certificate to auction off at the Mayor’s Charity Ball.

Job’s a good ‘un.

Talk also turned toward Mr Mayor’s alternative ball. For those fearing a mass Goth invasion of the William Loveless Hall with pints of cherry brandy and cider being consumed by men wearing clogs and eyeliner - relax…

The alt ball is for those who perhaps don’t appreciate the formalities of the black tie event. Planning is underway with an esteemed local promoter. I hear *shhh* that the Loveless Hall is being transformed into The Cavern with a 60′s style event being staged.

With no pause even for a quick Twist and Shout, it was soon time for the Town Clerk to report back to WTC. The first spring cutting of the grass has taken place at the KGV and the churchyard. The ladies loos at the Loveless Hall are complete. Budgets are up to date as we approach the end of the financial year.

Mr Mayor emphasised the versatility of our local ground staff, who one day may be mowing the KGV, whilst another they might be called upon the more sombre task of being asked to dig a grave.

It was confirmed that the official opening of the new police station up at the, um, fire station, will take lace on Saturday 26th March. The new building won’t allow access to the public (the old building very rarely had residents turning up anyway…) apart from on the open day itself. Something of a misnomer, but great to be given open access for the launch day.

New Business debate was centred on the request from St Mary’s to organise and stage a Church Ale event in September. This is essentially a medieval style pageant. Planning is required for various road closures, with permission asked to start off the procession from the KGV.

The discussion focussed on the cost of closing the roads, as well as the insurance and safety of the public, with events such as archery being proposed. The ever-helpful Cllr Needham offered clarification, explaining how the weapons were spiked poles, and the professional group involved have their own insurance.

Phew.

Ah, but who will be asked to be the Lord and Lady of the Manor in the procession? Ah, that will fall to the incumbent Mayor or Mayoress, whoever that may be following the impending WTC elections.

Speaking of which - nominations open for anyone wishing to stand as a Wivenhoe Town Councillor on 28th March, with a final deadline of midday on 4th April. It would be cruel to point out that April Fool’s Day also falls within this period…

Papers were shuffled around the table and a few nervy eyes darted back and forth within the chamber. Beware the Ides of March, my good councillors…

[public] meeting closed at 8:40.

You may prefer the photographic evidence in the blog post below, but for me, the official heralding that spring has arrived around these estuary parts is the publishing of the spring edition of Wivenhoe News.

Hurrah!

Town and Uni Clash Over Proposed Road is the lead story. With a byline of *ahem* Jason Cobb (blimey!) the news piece documents the recent lively Nottage meeting about @Uni_of_Essex’s Knowledge Gateway, and the traffic disruption is will cause those travelling in from the Tendring Peninsula.

The front page is shared with a photo of a very dashing young man about town. Workers of Wivenhoe features the rather charming Mark Andras and his local building business. I hear the good man builds rather decent kitchen extensions…

The Editorial lead describes the recent Environment Agency work as:

“Napalm-like treatment of the sea wall.”

Peter Kennedy pens a moving piece on page 3 all about the recent floods suffered by our Wivenhoe namesakes centred on Wivenhoe Dam in Australia. For all the recent CO7 woes regarding the vandalism by the Environment Agency, such devastation Down Under brings home the message about the importance of protection.

Back down to local matters, and if you want to define Wivenhoe, then ‘sitting somewhere between Theydon Bois and Hatfield Peverel‘ would suffice. Not geographically correct of course, but fine work with Wivenhoe News being sandwiched between the two locations, in proudly picking up the silver place in the 2010 Essex Community Magazine Awards.

In anticipation of Lifeboat Week (6th - 11th June,) Jane Hughes writes about The First Lifeboat: Henry Greathead’s Original. The as ever excellent Arts News wraps up Christmas Presence, the Denis Wirth-Miller retrospective at the Minories, recent events up at The Lakeside (“…no longer as austere and drab“) Moving Image (hurrah!) Jardine (hurrah! hurrah!) and even the Hub (hurrah! hurrah! hur… oh - you get the idea.)

David Williams reviews a selection of CD’s that are available at Wivenhoe Bookshop, and then there is a brief para all about the rather bizarre arrival of Sinterklaas down at the Quay in December (which incidentally I have deliberately chosen not to blog about. Having been asked why by a number of sources, then I will add the diplomatic answer of finding it all rather surreal for 2010.)

Moving on…

Nottage News reports on the buildings update for our fine nautical place of heritage. The Film Club is mentioned, as well as looking ahead to the annual Summer Exhibition.

Ian Valentine then updates on the state of the local bell ringers.

Blimey.

Anyone living in lower Wivenhoe will no doubt testify that the men and women of bells are indeed in fine form, what with the weekly Wednesday evening rehearsals, and the peeling out of a quick chorus shortly before 10am on a Sunday morning.

Ding dong. Get in there.

Restoring the Royal British Legion reports on the good news of a planning application and possible listed status having been submitted. A decision is due later in March.

The fine work of the locally based ADP Theatre receives a positive write up on page 12, as well as reviews of recent events at St Mary’s, such as the Cavendish Consort and The Odd Tale of Odstock.

The wonderful Wivenhoe panto gets the star treatment overleaf (“Energetic! Hilarious! Charismatic!“) as well as a quick plug for Oklahoma being performed by the Wivenhoe Gilbert & Sullivan Society from 15th - 19th March at the Loveless Hall.

Plans for the May Fair are mentioned on page 14, as well as a call for ideas and inspiration for the fascinating Off the Rails project down at The Station. The brilliant Bookshop updates on the forthcoming Philosophers course, the Reading Group (now staged within the splendour of Jardine) and the branching out of the Bookshop to stage intimate live music. All accounts suggest that Fiona Harman’s Drum performance was the perfect start to this recent venture.

Wivenhoe in Bloom and Open Gardens take a green-fingered approach overleaf. With spring finally having settled in these parts, the time is almost here to proudly show us what you’ve got. Anyone interest in a half-seeded lawn?

Wivenhoe Allotments ponder the woe of the extreme winter, whilst the fine Richard Allen, Wivenhoe’s Bird Watcher Supreme, writes of his good fortune during the cold snap in being able to spot fifteen waxwings down by the Colne - and the exact location for this rather rare appearance? Um… in the bushes that have now been bulldozed by the Environmental Agency.

Whoops.

Coppicing with the Wivenhoe Woods Working Party is explained, as well as a fascinating write up of the fungi forage that took place in Wivenhoe Wood during the autumn.

The centre page diary events are as packed as ever (and soon to be shamelessly added to the Wivenhoe Forum diary…)

Early 80′s events centred on Wivenhoe Port, and in particular, a plausible tale of smuggling and intervention by the Belgium Old Bill, are written with the perfect prose from Bill Ellis on page 22.

The Circumnavigation of St Barba of Mersea by Peter Goldsmith continues the maritime theme. The ace Transition Town Wivenhoe provide an update, alongside the equally ace Wivenhoe Pets (Murphie settling in rather well, thank you very much.) Some online bore then bangs on about the Wivenhoe Forum (whaddya mean, you *still* haven’t joined, blah blah blah…)

The View From the High Street with Tom Roberts looks back on past Wivenhoe winters, making comparisons with the snow of 2010, and explaining rather helpfully some of the urban myths about clearing the snow away yourself.

Bernard Jenkin MP uses his column to try and explain the abolition of PCT’s, as well as pressing the case for a cleaner Colne. Mr Mayor Brian Sinclair explains WTC matters, covering the closure of the police station, Cook’s Shipyard progress (slow…) the new Medical Centre (stationary) and the continuation of the closure of Queens Road.

LibDem Colchester Borough Councillor Mark Cory (Wivenhoe Cross ward) uses his column as an election launch ahead of voting this May. Meanwhile Labour’s Councillor Steve Ford adds his views on the closure of Clingoe Hill and the Knowledge Gateway. Plus any local Cllr column wouldn’t complete without the mention of potholes.

Essex County Councillor Julie Young keeps up the familiar local themes - Knowledge Gateway, Queens Road, potholes - as well as the ongoing debate about making Station Road a 20mph zone.

Speaking of our friends up at the University, the Essex Book Festival, the recent Ofsted report on the Nursery and the Town and Gown Dinner conclude events centred around Boundary Road and beyond.

Obituaries are provided for David Adams and Gerry Oliver.

News From Our Schools uplifts the mood, with ample enthusiasm for our young folk. Millfields School has a Young Reporters theme, encouraging pupils to pen pieces all about recent news around the school community. The recent performance by a selection of Millfields pupils at a prestigious concert at the O2 is rightfully celebrated.

Broomgrove are equally enthusiastic about the community ethos of both the Junior and Infant school. News of the Colne Community School May Fair (15th May) is also mentioned.

WivSoc reports back on recent committee meetings, mainly covering planning, as well as a call to arms for more active local involvement. The incredibly community spirited Ellie Gornall writes about The Hub, Wivenhoe’s fantastic facility for young folk around the town.

Emma Cameron’s Vivid Gaze exhibition at Jardine is reviewed, as well as Guy Taplin’s recent retrospective as the Messum’s. “Wivenhoe’s alchemist of driftwood” is a fine working title for one to trade under.

Finally and Flying the Flag for Wivenhoe Folk Club reports on the successful move of the fine folkies up the road to The Flag for the monthly music sessions.

Wivenhoe News is sold at the Co-op, Crossways, the Post Office, Bryans Newsagents and the lovely Wivenhoe Bookshop.

The copy deadline for the next issue of Wivenhoe News is 1st May.

If it’s Wednesday Week then it must mean that it’s time for a meeting of the lovely Wivenhoe Society committee in the library upstairs at the Nottage.

Hurrah!

Not that I officially sit at the top table for the local group that has Wivenhoe, its heritage and its future at its heart - simply that I have been very kindly invited to come along to the meetings as an interested observer. I think that’s a polite way of putting that I’m a nosey parker.

With kitten commitments eating into my early evening (update: we have litter tray lift off. Oh Lordy…) no surprises that I was running slightly late as I headed quayside.

No worries - the first agenda item was a report on the most recent Wivenhoe Town Council meeting that took place on Monday. Our fine man from the Council was double-booked (and possibly double-parked) and so we had a read out of the minutes from the fine Chair.

It was an interesting blow-by-blow account of potholes, police station sell-offs and public convenience refurbishment updates. It was also a repeat performance for me, and so I wasn’t going to be taken in by any cliffhanger.

Mr Mayor‘s bike left unlocked outside The Greyhound, you say? It ‘aint gonna be a happy ending, fella.

Sticking with WTC, and WivSoc heard how our local councillors are a little cash strapped right now. Not in a personal sense - although there’s no dosh to be made out of volunteering for civic service - but as a consequences of the cuts coming our way via Colchester Borough Council and beyond.

The consequences for WivSoc are all connected to the Colne clean up on the 10th April. Breaking tradition, and WTC has asked for a small payment to cover the cost of two employees to help take away all the crap that has sadly found its way by the banks of the Colne.

A ‘friendly and constructive conversation’ followed. I’m no kiss and teller: in fact I’m lucky if I ever get to reach the kissing stage. But I’m breaking no confidences is stating that the balance sheet of the WivSoc probably can’t stretch to TWO groundsmen, Sunday overtime et al.

At a wider level, this opens up very real questions about who actually holds the responsibility for looking after the Colne: CBC? WTC? WivSoc? *shhh* Dave’s #bigsociety?

Blimey.

It’s all about doing your bit, and helping out wherever and whenever you can. We are blessed in Wivenhoe to have wonderful organisations such as The Hub youth club and Transition Town Wivenhoe, both of whom have very kindly offered to lend some helping hands on the big day of the riverbank clean up.

The river is sadly looking a right old mess heading out towards the Hythe. Time allowing and I sometimes stop to pick up the odd can. Many hands make light work. Two WTC groundsmen may make light work, but they will also lighten the load on the WivSoc bank account.

Speaking of which, I’m playing my cards closer to my chest than a 44FF gifted young lady who is holding all the aces: Yep - it’s only the WivSoc Treasurer’s Report.

A small amount of money has been made from selling calendars. Costs have occurred in printing out the Newsletter up at University, plus the very kind donation from WivSoc to Wivenhoe in Bloom (£200 seeing as though you ask. I think the tight lipped 44FF gifted young lady has just undone a singular bra strap.)

The Secretary’s Report confirmed that the speaker at the WivSoc AGM in April will be the Director of Colchester Arts Centre. This is an ace choice of guest, with three decades of sex, drugs and rock’n roll to tell tall tales of. Oh - and Fairport Convention.

Other AGM plans are now all in place. Most importantly these include the news that Dave Harrison, the Wivenhoe Wine Toaster Extraordinaire is well on the case. Or even the cases.

Chin Chin.

Perhaps the most important part of the evening was the monthly analysis of planning applications. Wivenhoe is full (so said the man who has just moved in…) Even minor alterations can have an impact upon the local infrastructure.

The application for a block of flats along Rectory Road has been withdrawn. WivSoc welcomes this, taking the view that the original plans were cramp and ill conceived.

But the real biggie when it comes to proposed new buildings right now is all about that other lot over the river. The planning application has now been formally submitted for the redevelopment of Rowhedge Warf. It seems that our near neighbours are about to go through what Wivenhoe went through over the past two decades with the residential opening up of the waterfront.

With the original application for 300 new builds being thrown out by CBC, the developers have now come back with a proposal for 170 new homes on the site of the empty wharf.

Don’t be fooled by the reduction - this is the application for only the first stage. Today’s Cook’s Phase 3 is the future Phase 3 for our friends at Rowhedge. A total of 250 new builds is believed to be the aim of the developer.

And so what interest is all of this to WivSoc? Well… that beautiful scenic waterfront view just as the sun is setting over West Quay could look drastically different in a decade from now.

The derelict wharf ‘aint exactly a beauty spot right now, but the opportunity is there to guide and advise as to what might take its place, and help keep the Colne a scenic place in which to live around.

The newly submitted plans seem to suggest that an access road will be built right along the Rowhedge waterfront. On a practical level this allows more property to be tightly packed in.

WivSoc takes the view that the increase in traffic levels, and subsequent noise, are sufficient reasons to oppose this. An access road behind the first row of houses, similar to West Quay, would seem more sensible.

The new set of plans has dropped the proposal for a series of tall residential properties. Two and a half storey is now the average height, with a single flagship taller property as the centerpiece, designed to mirror the splendor of our own St Mary’s.

Good luck on that one.

And so the Rowhedge redevelopment seems inevitable, and if put in place sensibly, most certainly an improvement on the current abandoned wharf. But there’s a huge gulf between local sensibilities and the balance sheet of a corporate developer.

Moving on…

A domestic planning application for Belle Vue Road was briefly touched upon. I have a personal policy of publicly not passing any judgment on non-commercial planning applications - there but for the grace of God, ‘n all that twaddle. Did I mention the plans for a skyscraper extension to our back garden?

Concluding the planning update and the application for Cedric’s Bus Garage has been withdrawn. No reason has been stated. CBC has turned down the planning application for a care home for special needs kids on Cracknall Close, up towards Broomgorve.

Planning sorted, time for some Front of House hospitality. We’re talking in particular here the annual competition to see who can tart up their two up, two down best with hanging baskets and other fauna and flora. Excitement is building within WivSoc (seriously) with the publicity, prizes and judges being organised.

A request was then considered from WTC for a call of interest in helping to put together plans for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations in the town next year. WivSoc collectively may be supportive of the Monarchy, but then again WivSoc *may not* be collectively supportive of the Monarchy. Either way, no official Royalist response is being sent back to the Town Council offices.

On the Social front and a quick read of the officer’s report suggests that WivSoc is one wild abandon of a social party, with an occasional eye on planning applications.

Possibly.

Bookings are already coming in for the November Craft Fair (phew - rock ‘n roll.) A serious fiscal debate then followed, regarding the raising of the entry price from 20p to 50p. It is under such circumstances that revolutions take hold.

The fine Wivenhoe Folk Club and Transition Town Wivenhoe group have both been offered free stalls for the WivSoc Fun Day on 10th September. The rather excellent Judith Chalmers popular combo band has been booked once again for the Post Christmas Party on 7th January.

The NAP minutes were then up for discussion. Once again, I refer my honorable friend to the answer I gave some three weeks ago.

And finally, Any Other Business - always the best part of any local meeting, and the one time when I feel like taking to my feet for a spot of stand up.

But there wasn’t much to laugh about when we went over the escalation during the past month of the blatant vandalism of the Colne vegetation by the Environment Agency. This is an area that was discussed in mild terms last month when the signs first went up.

What has happened in-between has been well documented. There’s one hell of a difference between the posting of some A4 signs along the Colne, and the complete destruction of the once wonderful area of natural beauty.

With spring finally starting to shoot through along the estuary, the one uplifting thought to come out of the very depressing debate was the hint of some guerilla gardening taking place by the Colne.

Cripes.

And then a final, final item agenda, which seems to have slipped into our little local patch almost undetected. Heads up the good folk of the Queens Road Resident’s Association who were very early on the case in highlighting the proposed waste dump site across the river at Fingringhoe Wick.

What is up for grabs here is essentially landfill:

“Thames and Colne have a plan to import and process waste at Ballast Quay. Part of the company’s plans for the expansion of four quarry sites in Fingringhoe involves the import and processing of inert waste material to infill the quarry sites. Processing of the waste will take place at Ballast Quay.”

A huge variety of materials are proposed to be part of the project. This includes plastic and other non-biogradable items. Where this leaves the long-term plan of flooding the marsh remains to be seen.

Of more immediate concern is the 24/7 schedule for the operation. The noise of the mechanical machinery will travel around 1km in distance - easily within reach of the residential accommodation down by Wivenhoe Quay. It is also expected to be a light pollutant as well.

As this is a business proposal and not a residential property development, it seems that the usual channels for alerting and consulting with local residents has passed by under the radar. WivSoc is going to urgently raise the matter with Essex County Councillor Julie Young, and Bernard Jenkin MP.

And so that was WivSoc for another month. With issues covering major commercial and residential development, down to the cost of entering the Craft Fair. The agenda reflects the diverse issues currently taking place around the town, and likewise the need for a diverse range of local representation.

Once again, I feel guided to point you in the direction of the membership page on the WivSoc website. If you join up rather prompt, you might just be in time for the AGM, the debate and… the booze.

Chin chin.

To the Town Council office on Monday evening for the monthly meeting of the Wivenhoe Town Council.

Cripes.

Relax, m’South London Comrades - WTC is largely apolitical, comprising of locally elected representatives who have the best interests of the town at heart.

Unlike, um…

Democracy and representation appears to be alive and well within Wivenhoe. Eight of our fine councillors were in attendance, with apologies from the absent three.

Perhaps even more poignant was the appearance of seven locals in the public galley (random chairs scattered around the room) and a couple of local Colchester Borough Councillors to provide updates for their patch.

This was the first meeting of WTC since the blatant act of vandalism by the Environment Agency on the vegetatation of the banks of the Colne. Mr Mayor, Brian Sinclair, was aware of the public interest and moved this item to the top of the agenda.

Mr Mayor, explaining the position of WTC on the Colne clearance, read out a brief statement:

“We have had lots of phone calls and conversations since the work started. Wivenhoe Town Council empathises with the feelings of residents who are deeply angered and upset with the Environment Agency.

We were aware that the work was planned, but no actual start date was given. Local information was limited to A4 sized posters appearing by the site. We have made enquiries with the Environment Agency about the work. This is part of a national policy.

If any residents which to take the matter further, we have provided some information slips [reproduced below...] There is nothing else that we can do as a town council - we have done all that we can.”

The welcome information slip states:

Dear Resident,

WTC are aware and concerned about the distress caused by the rapid clearance of the sea walls. We are unable to stop this national policy but if you width to complain to the EA, the contact is 01473 706 100, [email protected]

A quick click and a rational email explaining your concerns, and hopefully the strength of local opposition regarding the destruction of our natural beauty will be registered.

But for some within the meeting, the statement from WTC didn’t go far enough. Up stepped a local resident to address the council, and to explain some revealing background information that has emerged through dealing with the EA staff on site.

“The notices put up by the EA were not specific to Wivenhoe. The same notices have been posted at scores of places all over East Anglia. In the case of Wivenhoe the reasons offered by the EA for the vegetation clearance turn out to be spurious. There’s no problem with rabbits, and the supposedly troublesome roots are still in the ground. There’s no problem with inspections – the inspectors have already graded the different sections of the seawall, in drawing up the Shoreline Management Plan. And there’s no risk to people and property upriver – that’s what the Barrier is for, to protect us from a repeat of the 1953 flood tide – and downriver, the possible future flooding of the grazing marsh has already been planned for, as part of the policy of managed retreat.

So, what’s the real reason for the vegetation clearance?

Nick Purdie [EA official] says: Our ultimate aim is to reduce all the vegetation to short grass – even long grasses are a problem because they mask bare earth - and it’s ‘bare earth’ which makes seawalls vulnerable in the event of over-topping by a tidal surge.

So this policy is all about planning for a worst-case scenario – which may be fine when there’s a risk to people and property – but doesn’t make sense downriver, in the event of a major flood, when flooding the grazing marsh would actually be necessary to absorb the pressure of the tide.

Mr Purdie also stressed how serious they are about achieving this objective of reducing the flora on seawalls to a monoculture. They’re currently experimenting at specific locations in Alresford, Brightlingsea and elsewhere with intensive regimes of repeated cutting: twice or three times a year. And they’re developing new technologies to do this, pioneering mechanical strimmers attached to diggers, which can do the job better than humans.

There’s a lot of controversy throughout East Anglia surrounding the Environment Agency’s policy on flood defences, (mainly to do with coastal erosion and managed retreat). One of the main complaints is the Agency’s repeated failure to notify and consult. Local Essex and Suffolk MPs like Therese Coffey (Suffolk Coastal) John Whittingdale (Maldon) and Priti Patel (Witham) are well aware of this. I think it’s worth people writing, if they feel strongly about this, to Bernard Jenkin.

Our case is a strong one:

It’s about the democratic deficit – the shocking lack of consultation.

It’s about bureaucratic arrogance – the policy being applied to Wivenhoe is inappropriate and incoherent.

And it’s about cost. The EA are spending £750,000 on this.

Where people and property are not at risk, it’s the needs of local residents and wildlife which should take precedence over the schemes of bureaucrats.”

Blimey.

This was a damning report to WTC, delivered with great passion and eloquence. It appears too late for any action to prevent this first wave of destruction. I would wager that the Environment Agency is not in for such an easy ride when they next return to the banks of the Colne, bent on yet further environmental destruction.

In support of WTC, Mr Mayor recognised the concerns of the local resident, and asked for a copy of the fine speech to fully take on the local concerns.

The rest of the WTC meeting was always then going to be routine, if indeed debate about Cook’s, the Wivenhoe Woodwork Party and Mr Mayor’s stolen civic bicycle (blimey) can ever be described as routine.

But first, here are some words from the big boys and girls of Colchester Borough Council. I rather liked the approach of Wivenhoe residents having speaking rights ahead of our CBC friends.

Councillor Cory of Wivenhoe Cross ward addressed the meeting first:

“I have mainly been dealing with parking complaints. Students are usually to blame. I approach this problem methodologically. If cars are parked illegally then I contact the police. If it is inconsiderate parking then I attach a small flyer.

Potholes [aha!] are currently the bain of my life. The large hole by The Flag has now been filled in. Sadly it has now opened up again. I will keep on reporting this to Highways until it is fixed. I have asked why the CBC gritting policy doesn’t include estates and pavements.

There was an ASBO issue in my ward. I have been working closely with PCSO Neville, who has carried out some wonderful work to help resolve this. There are some drainage issues up towards Broomgrove. Anglia Water has been informed.”

Taking a walk downtown (and depending on your geographical point of view, either going upmarket or slumming it…) and next up was Councillor Quarrie of Wivenhoe Quay ward:

“We have just had the full budget meeting at CBC. We [the Conservative group] wanted to reduce the annual £150,000 funding for local councils. Sadly this was voted out.”

A written report from Councillor Julie Young of Essex County Council (so many layers of the political onion to peel away here in Wivenhoe) was then read out by Mr Mayor:

“With the failure of the pedestrian crossing by the Co-op to reach any conclusion, I have successfully lobbied for a new bus shelter to be built with the funds.

I am happy to report that no libraries will be closing in Essex. There will be reduced opening hours for some libraries, although Wivenhoe doesn’t appear to be affected.

The transport subsidy for parents whose children attend Faith schools will be reduced. This will impact on Wivenhoe parents who send their children to the Catholic school in Colchester. Families on low income will still receive support.

The full budget for Essex County Council is being set this week. Women’s Refuge and Alcoholics Anonymous look like having funding being withdrawn. We are making slow progress [arf!] with the 20mph speed zone for Wivenhoe.”

With the WTC meeting now racing through the agenda, hopes were high of catching the second half of the West Ham match back at base. Feedback was then provided on the various sub-committees that comprise WTC. You’d be hard pressed to find a better named committee anywhere in the land that can compete with out very own Wivenhoe Woodwork Party - oh yes…

A report on public transport produced great excitement (steady the buffers) with news of the new bus stops in Colchester. Amazingly the Wivenhoe bus stops are actually correct for once.

Questions were raised about whom is liasing with the fine May Fair folk regarding the traffic flow on the big day. Mr Mayor confirmed that a meeting is planned for later this week.

Other transport issues were then discussed, but sadly the Fog of Politics got in the way. A bit of CBC politico gossiping between our borough council friends in-between WTC contributions, and I couldn’t catch all of the details (transport matters - *not* CBC chitter chatter.)

No worries. On to Planning.

Oh Lordy…

Councillor Cyril Liddy updated WTC with recent applications. Changes to the front of the Royal British Legion have been submitted (supported by the good folk of WivSoc) as well as “various miscellaneous domestic applications.”

Of greater interest however is the continuing saga of Cook’s Shipyard. Councillor Liddy confirmed:

“The developer is now ready to move forward and wants to know when we can sign the lease. This is in the hands of the solicitors - we’re not actually ready yet.”

It seems that the developer has made a change to the original planning application regarding the five polyfunctional [urgh!] units. A change of use from A1 to A3 has been put forward. CBC has no objections. Once again the Fog of Politics prevented me from hearing further.

The Personnel Committee confirmed that WTC’s wonderful litter picker, Ray, has announced his plans for a well-deserved retirement. Mr Mayor praised Ray and his work with the highest regard, adding, “he will be impossible to replace.”

Hear, hear. It seems that everywhere I go around the town, Ray is always present. Has this man be cloned?

The Finance and Admin Committee reported that the WTC budget has been re-affirmed. Speaking of penny-pinching, with the imminent move of our local police team to the fire station, it was also confirmed that the WTC policy is to try and keep the old buildings in public use. Discussions are taking place as to how WTC can acquire them.

The Best Value Committee (not quite the best committee title, but close…) reported on the plan for WTC to purchase some basic IT equipment for planning purposes. This will allow submissions to be projected on to the wall, rather than shuffling around paper copies.

Still with us?

It was around this stage of the evening that I was in need of a comfort break. And with perfect timing, it’s only an update from the Working Party on the refurbishment of the ladies loos at the William Loveless Hall.

Oh Lordy.

Pleased to report that the marbled halls of female sanitary (um…) are on time and budget. A grand opening is expected in time for Mr Mayor’s Charity Ball next month. Hurrah!

Trumping the Best Value and the toilet updates was of course the Wivenhoe Woodwork Party. Nope - not a late night carpentry lock in at The Station, but valuable updates regarding the upkeep of Wivenhoe Wood. The bark (ouch) is worse than the bite - all is well within Wivenhoe Wood.

It was then wonderful to hear the highest praise coming the way of Wivenhoe youth facilities, and in particular, the re-launched Hub down at the Phillip Road Centre.

Tuesday evenings were reported as being a tremendous success. WTC credited the individuals involved, for growing such a fantastic facility out of so few resources. It was also noted on record how pleased WTC is to see a return of the Wivenhoe Youth Council. Mr Mayor is keen to involve this body in more formal visits to the Town Council offices.

A request has been from members of the Hub to extend the skateboard facilities at KGV. This is currently being considered by WTC.

Community Safety reported that crime in Wivenhoe is currently on the up.

Wwwwwwhat…?

Sleep safely at night my friends - all crime is bad crime, but don’t believe the hard data. Mr Mayor’s proud civic bicycle (re-cycled from a council skip, donchta know….) was only half-inched right outside The Greyhound.

The Scoundrels!

Councillor Penny Kraft fed back on the latest NAP meeting - more (much more over here...)

Finance then reported on the sale of some chairs from the William Loveless Hall. I think this is Dave’s #bigsociety in action, right on our Wivenhoe doorstep.

On Administration matters, plans are pressing ahead to abolish the Cross and Quay distinctions for WTC matters. This will not affect the CBC wards. With an increased workload, the plan is also to raise the number of (unpaid) WTC councillor’s from eleven to thirteen.

Did someone say an election is around the corner…?

And finally, back to Highways, which always seems to be something of a hot potato around Wivenhoe. Elmstead Road is due to close for essential gasworks for a period of five weeks. This will cover roughly the stretch from The Flag up to the football club.

The advance planning and publicity by the gas utility was praised by WTC as an example of how outside agencies *can* work successfully in partnership with local representatives and residents.

I think that’s the nearest that WTC will come to having a dig at the Environment Agency. Meanwhile, the diggers down at the Colne edge ever closer towards the old Crab ‘n Winkle line…