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A creak of the old letterbox, a scared (and crazed) cat runs for cover and whaddya know - it’s only the latest copy of the esteemed Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Blimey.

As I’m now an adopted son of *shhh* Brightlingsea, then I feel that I ought to bang on about all the fine news stories that the good Scoop Scarpenter has been seeking out concerning our friends at the other end of the B1207.

But bugger to that. An evening with WTC was sufficient for the finer detail this week. Apologies to m’Brightlingsea bro’s and sisters - I’m skipping straight to the heart of the matter and making the most of the Wivenhoe half of Scoop’s news patch.

Which in reality means thumbing through to p.7 and The Hub - a Welcoming Venue for Young People:

“An awareness evening was held recently at the Hub, formally the Wivenhoe Youth Centre, highlighting the diverse amenities available at this venue for young people.”

Hurrah!

“Amenities at the centre include a coffee bar, floodlit basketball and football, pool, darts, DJ mixing desk, air hockey, 32 inch TV screen and two laptops.”

The Hub is indeed a major success story for Wivenhoe. Any volunteers would be warmly welcomed…

You wait for one Wivenhoe story in the Chronicle, and then just as an extra slice of birthday cake settles you down in the rocking chair (seriously) for the afternoon, along come two on the same page.

p.7 continues with: Town Meets Gown:

“The Mayor and Mayoress of Wivenhoe, Brian and Jan Sinclair, accompanied by Dilly Meyer, International Academy Skills Centre Manager at the University of Essex, welcomed 30 students and 40 local residents to a social evening at the William Loveless Hall [where else...]“

My Mayor has done a great deal for the Town and Gown delicate balancing act during his period of civic service. He somehow pulled off the rather remarkable negotiating skills of giving a stern telling off to the Estate Manager regarding the Knowledge Gateway road closure farce, yet still managed to end up passing on the goodwill of the town towards the University..

Similarly in persuading the ‘youthful high spirits’ of some students out on the Wivenhoe Run to apologise to local publicans and residents, before welcoming them back into Wivenhoe for more booze.

Blimey.

Councillor Steve Ford writes on p.10 more about the 20mph Zones in Wivenhoe:

“The majority of people in Wivenhoe know that a 20mph speed zone is going to be introduced in the area below the railway bridge. What many people do not know is that Colchester Borough Council has agreed, in principle, to look at the introduction of 20mph zones in all residential areas.”

Tellingly, the Cllr concluded by adding:

“Extensive consultation and engagement with the community of Colchester needs time and some monies, which in this present economic climate, is not yet available.”

Here’s hoping that when the wonga is finally freed up, whatever administration is currently sitting at the Town Hall won’t forget to carry out the consultation.

There’s little argument against 20′s plenty (although a guarded effort was attempted to derail it at Monday’s WTC meeting.) It makes sense in lower Wivenhoe, with only Station Road being a possible problem area to enforce.

A brief mention of the AGM of the Workers Education Association on 4th April at the Methodist Hall, as well as a heads up for WivSoc’s riverbank clean up at 10am on the 10th then follows.

And then we’re into the Wivenhoe arty territory, which holds far more editorial entertainment. Helen Chambers‘ review of Jack and the Beanstalk is bang on the money, when stating:

“Brian Ford’s script was very witty and clever, and I admired Matt Linley’s direction. Sarah Rout, as Silly Billy, gave a flawless performance. Hazel Humphreys (Jack) has stand-up comedy credentials.”

Talking of seamless comedy timing: Wivenhoe’s Very Own Comedy Club adds on p.13:

“Wil Hodgson will be performing at Wivenhoe’s very own comedy club, the Funny Farm. The club night will be held on 31st March at the Cricket Club.”

Oklahoma! gets a brief plug, as does the Colne Community College Choir’s concert at the Congregational Hall on the 2nd April. Local artist Annie Bielecka exhibition at the Red Lion Bookshop in Colchester also gets a mention.

Which all leaves us with the snappy Chronicle headline on p.15 of: New Facial Aesthetics Centre is Officially Opened by Town’s Mayor.

Cripes.

“A new local business, the Wivenhoe Faceplace, was officially opened by the Mayor of Wivenhoe. The new venture is a facial aesthetics centre, specialising in rejuvenating anti-wrinkle injections, dermal fillers, lip enhancements and tooth whitening.”

I couldn’t possibly comment on the potential for customers within Wivenhoe. I can pass comment however on Mr Mayor’s fine stance in supporting the business. As explained to WTC on Monday evening:

“Faceplace very kindly donated a £200 voucher for the Mayor’s Charity Auction. I am happy to support any business that helps to raise money locally.”

Hear, hear.

Must dash - time to moisturise.

The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is distributed free amongst local households. Additional copies are 25p from local newsagents.

To the Town Council Offices on Monday evening for the monthly meeting of our friends from Wivenhoe Town Council. I say “friends” in complete sincerity - I don’t see Mr Speaker welcoming people into the Public Gallery at Westminster with a beaming smile and the offer of glacier mint.

Nine of our good Councillor’s were present around the top table on Monday, with a Civic suited, booted and blinged up Mr Mayor chairing the meeting. Three members of the public were also present, which has to be encouraging for local accountability and political access.

Essex County Councillor Julie Young spoke first, updating WTC on her recent work as Colchester’s representative at a county level. Traffic has once again been a priority, with speeding levels around Wivenhoe being a concern for local residents.

Rectory Road keeps on cropping up, along with the approach to Broomgrove School. Cllr Young has asked the police to intervene, whenever local residents raise the issue. A pilot study of the 20′s Plenty initiative has been undertaken. Cllr Young is chasing this up, with a view to rolling it our along the non-residential streets around Wivenhoe.

Keeping with the transport theme, Cllr Young then updated WTC over the issue of a footpath approach to the football club along Elmstead Road. Funding is in place for further investigation, with possible money for the implementation of the project being made available in April.

Those glacier mints then came in handy, when through *shhh* gritted teeth, Cllr Young bigged up Dave’s #bigsociety. Funding for around £50k (not so big then…) may be available for Colchester and Tendring. Individual grants of around £500 to kick-start #hyperlocal community projects within Wivenhoe could be up for grabs.

You call it #bigsociety, we call it Community Initiative - Cllr Young then outlined her track record on delivering with similar schemes locally, pointing out improvements to the skateboard park and new nets for the football pitches at KGV.

Inspiring Ideas is the name of a new initiative from Essex County Council. They like their positive lexicology, these politico types. I would suggest that if you have an idea that isn’t inspiring, then you probably shouldn’t even be thinking in the first place.

The good Cllr Young rightfully pointed out that Wivenhoe is full of inspiring ideas anyway. It is hoped that the countywide scheme will be able to improve communities at a local level.

Good idea, that…

Finally Cllr Young praised the wonderful folk of Wivenhoe Moving Image, and explained how she has helped out the independent community cinema to become a key holder at the Phillip Road Centre, as well as resolving extra access issues to allow increased screenings.

Questions to our council rep followed. WTC Cllr Kraft asked if Cllr Young would like to test out the new toilets that have just been completed at the William Loveless Hall.

Steady the buffers; and the bowels.

Next up on his feet for a bit of political stand up was the ever-entertaining Cllr Steve Ford, the Colchester Borough Council representative for the Quay ward. The good Cllr Ford could appear at a stand up comedy gig, and still raise a smile telling some right ripping yarns all about potholes.

Oh - hang on…

It is the working bain of any local councillor, and yep, potholes are once again particularly heavy on the mind of Cllr Ford. Park Road and “a whooper” (blimey) along Rebow Road have recently been reported by Cllr Ford.

An insider perspective on the 20′s Plenty scheme then followed, with Cllr Ford giving an insight into the chairing an all-party CBC committee. Unlike Cllr Ford, I’ll get straight to the punch line - CBC supports the idea of the scheme throughout the borough, but is looking at funding to carry out a consultation.

Boom boom.

High praise then followed for the Wivenhoe Gilbert and Sullivan Society and their recent performance of Oklahoma! at the William Loveless Hall. Cllr Ford described the production as “fantastic,” in a move which many saw as a possible angling for the warm-up spot next year.

Cllr Ford explained the more serious matter of a recent tricky planning application for the Royal British Legion down at the Quay. This was granted by CBC, allowing much needed improvements to the historic old building, but with strong objections to the current owner of Dickie and Dennis’ old house.

Cllr Ford was pleased to report that a resolution of sorts was achieved, proving that when handled diplomatically, planning can work for the benefit of the community.

New planning laws are about to be introduced. Cllr Ford asked WTC how best to publicise these within the town. Not read the most recent WTC Newsletter, Cllr Ford? Tsk tsk.

With the agenda racing through the chamber with all the speed of the 9:23 passing through Paget Road, we were then back on to WTC matters. The meeting then became slightly clouded for the untrained eyes and ears.

Talk turned towards internal admin matters, relating to communication with a transport officer. It all started off rather innocently, and then somehow the conversation became embroiled with private internal emails, with WTC deciding to debate the issue (whatever the issue was) once the public gallery had been cleared.

Mmm…

Moving on - time for the individual WTC committees to report back. It is only when you witness the scope and responsibilities of the unpaid WTC councillors that you realise how much work and effort goes into the job. No financial reward is on offer, and often little thanks come the way of the councillors.

Cllr Liddy led with Planning. Unfortunately talk once again turned towards updating the Cllr’s behind closed doors, with “legal matters and solicitor letters and meetings” being mentioned.

I have no more to add.

The new health centre is still plodding along with nothing new to report. The meeting heard how internal changes are currently being put in place at the current health centre, suggesting that the professionals involved aren’t planning for a positive outcome any time soon.

Finance and Admin reported back with rare praise from a member of the public in the manner in which WTC is dealing with the harsh reality of a significant cut in local authority funding. Sticking with balancing the books and the Best Value committee stated that Wivenhoe Youth Hub, the May Fair and Wivenhoe in Bloom are all expected to stay within the allocated budget.

Nothing to report on the Working Party and Estates, apart from a request from the wonderfully named Essex Stragglers to use Wivenhoe Wood for a mid-summer event on the evening of the 30th June. I’ve no idea what the Essex Stragglers actually do, but I’d wager that around chucking out time on the 30th June, I could well qualify for membership.

The next agenda item was everyone’s favourite of the Wivenhoe Woodwork Party. Mr Mayor reported that the group has been attending to Ferry Marsh after the recent clean up (yeah, right…)

On to more positive matters and it’s only the Wivenhoe Community Mini Bus - hurrah! In what became something of a surreal discussion, Mr Mayor updated on how the current vehicle serves our needs perfectly. With only 51,000 miles on the clock (that’s a lot of running around Wivenhoe,) the bus is working well with no need for an update.

We then entered into Maureen’s Driving School territory, with a driving test theory style discussion all about parking and avoiding bollards.

Blimey.

The Youth Facilities Working Party reported on the current provision, and how the focus is now turning towards the top of the town and the need to fill any gaps in the services available for our young folk. The ace Youth Council has been invited into the council chamber next week to hold session.

Sticking with the civic responsibility theme, Mr Mayor then replied to that standard Westminster question of asking what the chuffers the leader has been doing since the session last met.

Rather than respond with the jaded “I have been having meetings with my ministerial colleagues,” Mr Mayor proved the point that life in Wivenhoe has a far greater WOW! factor than living in Westminster:

“On Tuesday I visited the Youth Club which is going from strength to strength. I organised and attended the Mayor’s Civic Ball, raising money for the Mayor’s charity. I have witnessed the work being carried out at Broomgrove around Fair Trade. I went to the Colchester Mayor’s Civic event, where I was surrounded by bling. I have met with the bursary fund at the University. I am proud to announce that we will be funding five students next year. I have met with Wivenhoe Helping Hands, I attended the dedication of Major Tom Burt’s memorial and I thoroughly enjoyed Oklahoma!”

Cripes. Somebody pour that man a stiff G & T. Or even offer him another Civic glacier mint.

Meanwhile, Mr Mayor was then on the back foot, offering up an explanation as to why he was seen to be formally opening a botox and teeth whitening clinic.

Sucking in his cheeks, and with his best cheesy grin, Mr Mayor offered up the excellent answer of being offered a £200 gift certificate to auction off at the Mayor’s Charity Ball.

Job’s a good ‘un.

Talk also turned toward Mr Mayor’s alternative ball. For those fearing a mass Goth invasion of the William Loveless Hall with pints of cherry brandy and cider being consumed by men wearing clogs and eyeliner - relax…

The alt ball is for those who perhaps don’t appreciate the formalities of the black tie event. Planning is underway with an esteemed local promoter. I hear *shhh* that the Loveless Hall is being transformed into The Cavern with a 60′s style event being staged.

With no pause even for a quick Twist and Shout, it was soon time for the Town Clerk to report back to WTC. The first spring cutting of the grass has taken place at the KGV and the churchyard. The ladies loos at the Loveless Hall are complete. Budgets are up to date as we approach the end of the financial year.

Mr Mayor emphasised the versatility of our local ground staff, who one day may be mowing the KGV, whilst another they might be called upon the more sombre task of being asked to dig a grave.

It was confirmed that the official opening of the new police station up at the, um, fire station, will take lace on Saturday 26th March. The new building won’t allow access to the public (the old building very rarely had residents turning up anyway…) apart from on the open day itself. Something of a misnomer, but great to be given open access for the launch day.

New Business debate was centred on the request from St Mary’s to organise and stage a Church Ale event in September. This is essentially a medieval style pageant. Planning is required for various road closures, with permission asked to start off the procession from the KGV.

The discussion focussed on the cost of closing the roads, as well as the insurance and safety of the public, with events such as archery being proposed. The ever-helpful Cllr Needham offered clarification, explaining how the weapons were spiked poles, and the professional group involved have their own insurance.

Phew.

Ah, but who will be asked to be the Lord and Lady of the Manor in the procession? Ah, that will fall to the incumbent Mayor or Mayoress, whoever that may be following the impending WTC elections.

Speaking of which - nominations open for anyone wishing to stand as a Wivenhoe Town Councillor on 28th March, with a final deadline of midday on 4th April. It would be cruel to point out that April Fool’s Day also falls within this period…

Papers were shuffled around the table and a few nervy eyes darted back and forth within the chamber. Beware the Ides of March, my good councillors…

[public] meeting closed at 8:40.

You may prefer the photographic evidence in the blog post below, but for me, the official heralding that spring has arrived around these estuary parts is the publishing of the spring edition of Wivenhoe News.

Hurrah!

Town and Uni Clash Over Proposed Road is the lead story. With a byline of *ahem* Jason Cobb (blimey!) the news piece documents the recent lively Nottage meeting about @Uni_of_Essex’s Knowledge Gateway, and the traffic disruption is will cause those travelling in from the Tendring Peninsula.

The front page is shared with a photo of a very dashing young man about town. Workers of Wivenhoe features the rather charming Mark Andras and his local building business. I hear the good man builds rather decent kitchen extensions…

The Editorial lead describes the recent Environment Agency work as:

“Napalm-like treatment of the sea wall.”

Peter Kennedy pens a moving piece on page 3 all about the recent floods suffered by our Wivenhoe namesakes centred on Wivenhoe Dam in Australia. For all the recent CO7 woes regarding the vandalism by the Environment Agency, such devastation Down Under brings home the message about the importance of protection.

Back down to local matters, and if you want to define Wivenhoe, then ‘sitting somewhere between Theydon Bois and Hatfield Peverel‘ would suffice. Not geographically correct of course, but fine work with Wivenhoe News being sandwiched between the two locations, in proudly picking up the silver place in the 2010 Essex Community Magazine Awards.

In anticipation of Lifeboat Week (6th - 11th June,) Jane Hughes writes about The First Lifeboat: Henry Greathead’s Original. The as ever excellent Arts News wraps up Christmas Presence, the Denis Wirth-Miller retrospective at the Minories, recent events up at The Lakeside (“…no longer as austere and drab“) Moving Image (hurrah!) Jardine (hurrah! hurrah!) and even the Hub (hurrah! hurrah! hur… oh - you get the idea.)

David Williams reviews a selection of CD’s that are available at Wivenhoe Bookshop, and then there is a brief para all about the rather bizarre arrival of Sinterklaas down at the Quay in December (which incidentally I have deliberately chosen not to blog about. Having been asked why by a number of sources, then I will add the diplomatic answer of finding it all rather surreal for 2010.)

Moving on…

Nottage News reports on the buildings update for our fine nautical place of heritage. The Film Club is mentioned, as well as looking ahead to the annual Summer Exhibition.

Ian Valentine then updates on the state of the local bell ringers.

Blimey.

Anyone living in lower Wivenhoe will no doubt testify that the men and women of bells are indeed in fine form, what with the weekly Wednesday evening rehearsals, and the peeling out of a quick chorus shortly before 10am on a Sunday morning.

Ding dong. Get in there.

Restoring the Royal British Legion reports on the good news of a planning application and possible listed status having been submitted. A decision is due later in March.

The fine work of the locally based ADP Theatre receives a positive write up on page 12, as well as reviews of recent events at St Mary’s, such as the Cavendish Consort and The Odd Tale of Odstock.

The wonderful Wivenhoe panto gets the star treatment overleaf (“Energetic! Hilarious! Charismatic!“) as well as a quick plug for Oklahoma being performed by the Wivenhoe Gilbert & Sullivan Society from 15th - 19th March at the Loveless Hall.

Plans for the May Fair are mentioned on page 14, as well as a call for ideas and inspiration for the fascinating Off the Rails project down at The Station. The brilliant Bookshop updates on the forthcoming Philosophers course, the Reading Group (now staged within the splendour of Jardine) and the branching out of the Bookshop to stage intimate live music. All accounts suggest that Fiona Harman’s Drum performance was the perfect start to this recent venture.

Wivenhoe in Bloom and Open Gardens take a green-fingered approach overleaf. With spring finally having settled in these parts, the time is almost here to proudly show us what you’ve got. Anyone interest in a half-seeded lawn?

Wivenhoe Allotments ponder the woe of the extreme winter, whilst the fine Richard Allen, Wivenhoe’s Bird Watcher Supreme, writes of his good fortune during the cold snap in being able to spot fifteen waxwings down by the Colne - and the exact location for this rather rare appearance? Um… in the bushes that have now been bulldozed by the Environmental Agency.

Whoops.

Coppicing with the Wivenhoe Woods Working Party is explained, as well as a fascinating write up of the fungi forage that took place in Wivenhoe Wood during the autumn.

The centre page diary events are as packed as ever (and soon to be shamelessly added to the Wivenhoe Forum diary…)

Early 80′s events centred on Wivenhoe Port, and in particular, a plausible tale of smuggling and intervention by the Belgium Old Bill, are written with the perfect prose from Bill Ellis on page 22.

The Circumnavigation of St Barba of Mersea by Peter Goldsmith continues the maritime theme. The ace Transition Town Wivenhoe provide an update, alongside the equally ace Wivenhoe Pets (Murphie settling in rather well, thank you very much.) Some online bore then bangs on about the Wivenhoe Forum (whaddya mean, you *still* haven’t joined, blah blah blah…)

The View From the High Street with Tom Roberts looks back on past Wivenhoe winters, making comparisons with the snow of 2010, and explaining rather helpfully some of the urban myths about clearing the snow away yourself.

Bernard Jenkin MP uses his column to try and explain the abolition of PCT’s, as well as pressing the case for a cleaner Colne. Mr Mayor Brian Sinclair explains WTC matters, covering the closure of the police station, Cook’s Shipyard progress (slow…) the new Medical Centre (stationary) and the continuation of the closure of Queens Road.

LibDem Colchester Borough Councillor Mark Cory (Wivenhoe Cross ward) uses his column as an election launch ahead of voting this May. Meanwhile Labour’s Councillor Steve Ford adds his views on the closure of Clingoe Hill and the Knowledge Gateway. Plus any local Cllr column wouldn’t complete without the mention of potholes.

Essex County Councillor Julie Young keeps up the familiar local themes - Knowledge Gateway, Queens Road, potholes - as well as the ongoing debate about making Station Road a 20mph zone.

Speaking of our friends up at the University, the Essex Book Festival, the recent Ofsted report on the Nursery and the Town and Gown Dinner conclude events centred around Boundary Road and beyond.

Obituaries are provided for David Adams and Gerry Oliver.

News From Our Schools uplifts the mood, with ample enthusiasm for our young folk. Millfields School has a Young Reporters theme, encouraging pupils to pen pieces all about recent news around the school community. The recent performance by a selection of Millfields pupils at a prestigious concert at the O2 is rightfully celebrated.

Broomgrove are equally enthusiastic about the community ethos of both the Junior and Infant school. News of the Colne Community School May Fair (15th May) is also mentioned.

WivSoc reports back on recent committee meetings, mainly covering planning, as well as a call to arms for more active local involvement. The incredibly community spirited Ellie Gornall writes about The Hub, Wivenhoe’s fantastic facility for young folk around the town.

Emma Cameron’s Vivid Gaze exhibition at Jardine is reviewed, as well as Guy Taplin’s recent retrospective as the Messum’s. “Wivenhoe’s alchemist of driftwood” is a fine working title for one to trade under.

Finally and Flying the Flag for Wivenhoe Folk Club reports on the successful move of the fine folkies up the road to The Flag for the monthly music sessions.

Wivenhoe News is sold at the Co-op, Crossways, the Post Office, Bryans Newsagents and the lovely Wivenhoe Bookshop.

The copy deadline for the next issue of Wivenhoe News is 1st May.

If it’s Wednesday Week then it must mean that it’s time for a meeting of the lovely Wivenhoe Society committee in the library upstairs at the Nottage.

Hurrah!

Not that I officially sit at the top table for the local group that has Wivenhoe, its heritage and its future at its heart - simply that I have been very kindly invited to come along to the meetings as an interested observer. I think that’s a polite way of putting that I’m a nosey parker.

With kitten commitments eating into my early evening (update: we have litter tray lift off. Oh Lordy…) no surprises that I was running slightly late as I headed quayside.

No worries - the first agenda item was a report on the most recent Wivenhoe Town Council meeting that took place on Monday. Our fine man from the Council was double-booked (and possibly double-parked) and so we had a read out of the minutes from the fine Chair.

It was an interesting blow-by-blow account of potholes, police station sell-offs and public convenience refurbishment updates. It was also a repeat performance for me, and so I wasn’t going to be taken in by any cliffhanger.

Mr Mayor‘s bike left unlocked outside The Greyhound, you say? It ‘aint gonna be a happy ending, fella.

Sticking with WTC, and WivSoc heard how our local councillors are a little cash strapped right now. Not in a personal sense - although there’s no dosh to be made out of volunteering for civic service - but as a consequences of the cuts coming our way via Colchester Borough Council and beyond.

The consequences for WivSoc are all connected to the Colne clean up on the 10th April. Breaking tradition, and WTC has asked for a small payment to cover the cost of two employees to help take away all the crap that has sadly found its way by the banks of the Colne.

A ‘friendly and constructive conversation’ followed. I’m no kiss and teller: in fact I’m lucky if I ever get to reach the kissing stage. But I’m breaking no confidences is stating that the balance sheet of the WivSoc probably can’t stretch to TWO groundsmen, Sunday overtime et al.

At a wider level, this opens up very real questions about who actually holds the responsibility for looking after the Colne: CBC? WTC? WivSoc? *shhh* Dave’s #bigsociety?

Blimey.

It’s all about doing your bit, and helping out wherever and whenever you can. We are blessed in Wivenhoe to have wonderful organisations such as The Hub youth club and Transition Town Wivenhoe, both of whom have very kindly offered to lend some helping hands on the big day of the riverbank clean up.

The river is sadly looking a right old mess heading out towards the Hythe. Time allowing and I sometimes stop to pick up the odd can. Many hands make light work. Two WTC groundsmen may make light work, but they will also lighten the load on the WivSoc bank account.

Speaking of which, I’m playing my cards closer to my chest than a 44FF gifted young lady who is holding all the aces: Yep - it’s only the WivSoc Treasurer’s Report.

A small amount of money has been made from selling calendars. Costs have occurred in printing out the Newsletter up at University, plus the very kind donation from WivSoc to Wivenhoe in Bloom (£200 seeing as though you ask. I think the tight lipped 44FF gifted young lady has just undone a singular bra strap.)

The Secretary’s Report confirmed that the speaker at the WivSoc AGM in April will be the Director of Colchester Arts Centre. This is an ace choice of guest, with three decades of sex, drugs and rock’n roll to tell tall tales of. Oh - and Fairport Convention.

Other AGM plans are now all in place. Most importantly these include the news that Dave Harrison, the Wivenhoe Wine Toaster Extraordinaire is well on the case. Or even the cases.

Chin Chin.

Perhaps the most important part of the evening was the monthly analysis of planning applications. Wivenhoe is full (so said the man who has just moved in…) Even minor alterations can have an impact upon the local infrastructure.

The application for a block of flats along Rectory Road has been withdrawn. WivSoc welcomes this, taking the view that the original plans were cramp and ill conceived.

But the real biggie when it comes to proposed new buildings right now is all about that other lot over the river. The planning application has now been formally submitted for the redevelopment of Rowhedge Warf. It seems that our near neighbours are about to go through what Wivenhoe went through over the past two decades with the residential opening up of the waterfront.

With the original application for 300 new builds being thrown out by CBC, the developers have now come back with a proposal for 170 new homes on the site of the empty wharf.

Don’t be fooled by the reduction - this is the application for only the first stage. Today’s Cook’s Phase 3 is the future Phase 3 for our friends at Rowhedge. A total of 250 new builds is believed to be the aim of the developer.

And so what interest is all of this to WivSoc? Well… that beautiful scenic waterfront view just as the sun is setting over West Quay could look drastically different in a decade from now.

The derelict wharf ‘aint exactly a beauty spot right now, but the opportunity is there to guide and advise as to what might take its place, and help keep the Colne a scenic place in which to live around.

The newly submitted plans seem to suggest that an access road will be built right along the Rowhedge waterfront. On a practical level this allows more property to be tightly packed in.

WivSoc takes the view that the increase in traffic levels, and subsequent noise, are sufficient reasons to oppose this. An access road behind the first row of houses, similar to West Quay, would seem more sensible.

The new set of plans has dropped the proposal for a series of tall residential properties. Two and a half storey is now the average height, with a single flagship taller property as the centerpiece, designed to mirror the splendor of our own St Mary’s.

Good luck on that one.

And so the Rowhedge redevelopment seems inevitable, and if put in place sensibly, most certainly an improvement on the current abandoned wharf. But there’s a huge gulf between local sensibilities and the balance sheet of a corporate developer.

Moving on…

A domestic planning application for Belle Vue Road was briefly touched upon. I have a personal policy of publicly not passing any judgment on non-commercial planning applications - there but for the grace of God, ‘n all that twaddle. Did I mention the plans for a skyscraper extension to our back garden?

Concluding the planning update and the application for Cedric’s Bus Garage has been withdrawn. No reason has been stated. CBC has turned down the planning application for a care home for special needs kids on Cracknall Close, up towards Broomgorve.

Planning sorted, time for some Front of House hospitality. We’re talking in particular here the annual competition to see who can tart up their two up, two down best with hanging baskets and other fauna and flora. Excitement is building within WivSoc (seriously) with the publicity, prizes and judges being organised.

A request was then considered from WTC for a call of interest in helping to put together plans for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations in the town next year. WivSoc collectively may be supportive of the Monarchy, but then again WivSoc *may not* be collectively supportive of the Monarchy. Either way, no official Royalist response is being sent back to the Town Council offices.

On the Social front and a quick read of the officer’s report suggests that WivSoc is one wild abandon of a social party, with an occasional eye on planning applications.

Possibly.

Bookings are already coming in for the November Craft Fair (phew - rock ‘n roll.) A serious fiscal debate then followed, regarding the raising of the entry price from 20p to 50p. It is under such circumstances that revolutions take hold.

The fine Wivenhoe Folk Club and Transition Town Wivenhoe group have both been offered free stalls for the WivSoc Fun Day on 10th September. The rather excellent Judith Chalmers popular combo band has been booked once again for the Post Christmas Party on 7th January.

The NAP minutes were then up for discussion. Once again, I refer my honorable friend to the answer I gave some three weeks ago.

And finally, Any Other Business - always the best part of any local meeting, and the one time when I feel like taking to my feet for a spot of stand up.

But there wasn’t much to laugh about when we went over the escalation during the past month of the blatant vandalism of the Colne vegetation by the Environment Agency. This is an area that was discussed in mild terms last month when the signs first went up.

What has happened in-between has been well documented. There’s one hell of a difference between the posting of some A4 signs along the Colne, and the complete destruction of the once wonderful area of natural beauty.

With spring finally starting to shoot through along the estuary, the one uplifting thought to come out of the very depressing debate was the hint of some guerilla gardening taking place by the Colne.

Cripes.

And then a final, final item agenda, which seems to have slipped into our little local patch almost undetected. Heads up the good folk of the Queens Road Resident’s Association who were very early on the case in highlighting the proposed waste dump site across the river at Fingringhoe Wick.

What is up for grabs here is essentially landfill:

“Thames and Colne have a plan to import and process waste at Ballast Quay. Part of the company’s plans for the expansion of four quarry sites in Fingringhoe involves the import and processing of inert waste material to infill the quarry sites. Processing of the waste will take place at Ballast Quay.”

A huge variety of materials are proposed to be part of the project. This includes plastic and other non-biogradable items. Where this leaves the long-term plan of flooding the marsh remains to be seen.

Of more immediate concern is the 24/7 schedule for the operation. The noise of the mechanical machinery will travel around 1km in distance - easily within reach of the residential accommodation down by Wivenhoe Quay. It is also expected to be a light pollutant as well.

As this is a business proposal and not a residential property development, it seems that the usual channels for alerting and consulting with local residents has passed by under the radar. WivSoc is going to urgently raise the matter with Essex County Councillor Julie Young, and Bernard Jenkin MP.

And so that was WivSoc for another month. With issues covering major commercial and residential development, down to the cost of entering the Craft Fair. The agenda reflects the diverse issues currently taking place around the town, and likewise the need for a diverse range of local representation.

Once again, I feel guided to point you in the direction of the membership page on the WivSoc website. If you join up rather prompt, you might just be in time for the AGM, the debate and… the booze.

Chin chin.

To the Town Council office on Monday evening for the monthly meeting of the Wivenhoe Town Council.

Cripes.

Relax, m’South London Comrades - WTC is largely apolitical, comprising of locally elected representatives who have the best interests of the town at heart.

Unlike, um…

Democracy and representation appears to be alive and well within Wivenhoe. Eight of our fine councillors were in attendance, with apologies from the absent three.

Perhaps even more poignant was the appearance of seven locals in the public galley (random chairs scattered around the room) and a couple of local Colchester Borough Councillors to provide updates for their patch.

This was the first meeting of WTC since the blatant act of vandalism by the Environment Agency on the vegetatation of the banks of the Colne. Mr Mayor, Brian Sinclair, was aware of the public interest and moved this item to the top of the agenda.

Mr Mayor, explaining the position of WTC on the Colne clearance, read out a brief statement:

“We have had lots of phone calls and conversations since the work started. Wivenhoe Town Council empathises with the feelings of residents who are deeply angered and upset with the Environment Agency.

We were aware that the work was planned, but no actual start date was given. Local information was limited to A4 sized posters appearing by the site. We have made enquiries with the Environment Agency about the work. This is part of a national policy.

If any residents which to take the matter further, we have provided some information slips [reproduced below...] There is nothing else that we can do as a town council - we have done all that we can.”

The welcome information slip states:

Dear Resident,

WTC are aware and concerned about the distress caused by the rapid clearance of the sea walls. We are unable to stop this national policy but if you width to complain to the EA, the contact is 01473 706 100, [email protected]

A quick click and a rational email explaining your concerns, and hopefully the strength of local opposition regarding the destruction of our natural beauty will be registered.

But for some within the meeting, the statement from WTC didn’t go far enough. Up stepped a local resident to address the council, and to explain some revealing background information that has emerged through dealing with the EA staff on site.

“The notices put up by the EA were not specific to Wivenhoe. The same notices have been posted at scores of places all over East Anglia. In the case of Wivenhoe the reasons offered by the EA for the vegetation clearance turn out to be spurious. There’s no problem with rabbits, and the supposedly troublesome roots are still in the ground. There’s no problem with inspections – the inspectors have already graded the different sections of the seawall, in drawing up the Shoreline Management Plan. And there’s no risk to people and property upriver – that’s what the Barrier is for, to protect us from a repeat of the 1953 flood tide – and downriver, the possible future flooding of the grazing marsh has already been planned for, as part of the policy of managed retreat.

So, what’s the real reason for the vegetation clearance?

Nick Purdie [EA official] says: Our ultimate aim is to reduce all the vegetation to short grass – even long grasses are a problem because they mask bare earth - and it’s ‘bare earth’ which makes seawalls vulnerable in the event of over-topping by a tidal surge.

So this policy is all about planning for a worst-case scenario – which may be fine when there’s a risk to people and property – but doesn’t make sense downriver, in the event of a major flood, when flooding the grazing marsh would actually be necessary to absorb the pressure of the tide.

Mr Purdie also stressed how serious they are about achieving this objective of reducing the flora on seawalls to a monoculture. They’re currently experimenting at specific locations in Alresford, Brightlingsea and elsewhere with intensive regimes of repeated cutting: twice or three times a year. And they’re developing new technologies to do this, pioneering mechanical strimmers attached to diggers, which can do the job better than humans.

There’s a lot of controversy throughout East Anglia surrounding the Environment Agency’s policy on flood defences, (mainly to do with coastal erosion and managed retreat). One of the main complaints is the Agency’s repeated failure to notify and consult. Local Essex and Suffolk MPs like Therese Coffey (Suffolk Coastal) John Whittingdale (Maldon) and Priti Patel (Witham) are well aware of this. I think it’s worth people writing, if they feel strongly about this, to Bernard Jenkin.

Our case is a strong one:

It’s about the democratic deficit – the shocking lack of consultation.

It’s about bureaucratic arrogance – the policy being applied to Wivenhoe is inappropriate and incoherent.

And it’s about cost. The EA are spending £750,000 on this.

Where people and property are not at risk, it’s the needs of local residents and wildlife which should take precedence over the schemes of bureaucrats.”

Blimey.

This was a damning report to WTC, delivered with great passion and eloquence. It appears too late for any action to prevent this first wave of destruction. I would wager that the Environment Agency is not in for such an easy ride when they next return to the banks of the Colne, bent on yet further environmental destruction.

In support of WTC, Mr Mayor recognised the concerns of the local resident, and asked for a copy of the fine speech to fully take on the local concerns.

The rest of the WTC meeting was always then going to be routine, if indeed debate about Cook’s, the Wivenhoe Woodwork Party and Mr Mayor’s stolen civic bicycle (blimey) can ever be described as routine.

But first, here are some words from the big boys and girls of Colchester Borough Council. I rather liked the approach of Wivenhoe residents having speaking rights ahead of our CBC friends.

Councillor Cory of Wivenhoe Cross ward addressed the meeting first:

“I have mainly been dealing with parking complaints. Students are usually to blame. I approach this problem methodologically. If cars are parked illegally then I contact the police. If it is inconsiderate parking then I attach a small flyer.

Potholes [aha!] are currently the bain of my life. The large hole by The Flag has now been filled in. Sadly it has now opened up again. I will keep on reporting this to Highways until it is fixed. I have asked why the CBC gritting policy doesn’t include estates and pavements.

There was an ASBO issue in my ward. I have been working closely with PCSO Neville, who has carried out some wonderful work to help resolve this. There are some drainage issues up towards Broomgrove. Anglia Water has been informed.”

Taking a walk downtown (and depending on your geographical point of view, either going upmarket or slumming it…) and next up was Councillor Quarrie of Wivenhoe Quay ward:

“We have just had the full budget meeting at CBC. We [the Conservative group] wanted to reduce the annual £150,000 funding for local councils. Sadly this was voted out.”

A written report from Councillor Julie Young of Essex County Council (so many layers of the political onion to peel away here in Wivenhoe) was then read out by Mr Mayor:

“With the failure of the pedestrian crossing by the Co-op to reach any conclusion, I have successfully lobbied for a new bus shelter to be built with the funds.

I am happy to report that no libraries will be closing in Essex. There will be reduced opening hours for some libraries, although Wivenhoe doesn’t appear to be affected.

The transport subsidy for parents whose children attend Faith schools will be reduced. This will impact on Wivenhoe parents who send their children to the Catholic school in Colchester. Families on low income will still receive support.

The full budget for Essex County Council is being set this week. Women’s Refuge and Alcoholics Anonymous look like having funding being withdrawn. We are making slow progress [arf!] with the 20mph speed zone for Wivenhoe.”

With the WTC meeting now racing through the agenda, hopes were high of catching the second half of the West Ham match back at base. Feedback was then provided on the various sub-committees that comprise WTC. You’d be hard pressed to find a better named committee anywhere in the land that can compete with out very own Wivenhoe Woodwork Party - oh yes…

A report on public transport produced great excitement (steady the buffers) with news of the new bus stops in Colchester. Amazingly the Wivenhoe bus stops are actually correct for once.

Questions were raised about whom is liasing with the fine May Fair folk regarding the traffic flow on the big day. Mr Mayor confirmed that a meeting is planned for later this week.

Other transport issues were then discussed, but sadly the Fog of Politics got in the way. A bit of CBC politico gossiping between our borough council friends in-between WTC contributions, and I couldn’t catch all of the details (transport matters - *not* CBC chitter chatter.)

No worries. On to Planning.

Oh Lordy…

Councillor Cyril Liddy updated WTC with recent applications. Changes to the front of the Royal British Legion have been submitted (supported by the good folk of WivSoc) as well as “various miscellaneous domestic applications.”

Of greater interest however is the continuing saga of Cook’s Shipyard. Councillor Liddy confirmed:

“The developer is now ready to move forward and wants to know when we can sign the lease. This is in the hands of the solicitors - we’re not actually ready yet.”

It seems that the developer has made a change to the original planning application regarding the five polyfunctional [urgh!] units. A change of use from A1 to A3 has been put forward. CBC has no objections. Once again the Fog of Politics prevented me from hearing further.

The Personnel Committee confirmed that WTC’s wonderful litter picker, Ray, has announced his plans for a well-deserved retirement. Mr Mayor praised Ray and his work with the highest regard, adding, “he will be impossible to replace.”

Hear, hear. It seems that everywhere I go around the town, Ray is always present. Has this man be cloned?

The Finance and Admin Committee reported that the WTC budget has been re-affirmed. Speaking of penny-pinching, with the imminent move of our local police team to the fire station, it was also confirmed that the WTC policy is to try and keep the old buildings in public use. Discussions are taking place as to how WTC can acquire them.

The Best Value Committee (not quite the best committee title, but close…) reported on the plan for WTC to purchase some basic IT equipment for planning purposes. This will allow submissions to be projected on to the wall, rather than shuffling around paper copies.

Still with us?

It was around this stage of the evening that I was in need of a comfort break. And with perfect timing, it’s only an update from the Working Party on the refurbishment of the ladies loos at the William Loveless Hall.

Oh Lordy.

Pleased to report that the marbled halls of female sanitary (um…) are on time and budget. A grand opening is expected in time for Mr Mayor’s Charity Ball next month. Hurrah!

Trumping the Best Value and the toilet updates was of course the Wivenhoe Woodwork Party. Nope - not a late night carpentry lock in at The Station, but valuable updates regarding the upkeep of Wivenhoe Wood. The bark (ouch) is worse than the bite - all is well within Wivenhoe Wood.

It was then wonderful to hear the highest praise coming the way of Wivenhoe youth facilities, and in particular, the re-launched Hub down at the Phillip Road Centre.

Tuesday evenings were reported as being a tremendous success. WTC credited the individuals involved, for growing such a fantastic facility out of so few resources. It was also noted on record how pleased WTC is to see a return of the Wivenhoe Youth Council. Mr Mayor is keen to involve this body in more formal visits to the Town Council offices.

A request has been from members of the Hub to extend the skateboard facilities at KGV. This is currently being considered by WTC.

Community Safety reported that crime in Wivenhoe is currently on the up.

Wwwwwwhat…?

Sleep safely at night my friends - all crime is bad crime, but don’t believe the hard data. Mr Mayor’s proud civic bicycle (re-cycled from a council skip, donchta know….) was only half-inched right outside The Greyhound.

The Scoundrels!

Councillor Penny Kraft fed back on the latest NAP meeting - more (much more over here...)

Finance then reported on the sale of some chairs from the William Loveless Hall. I think this is Dave’s #bigsociety in action, right on our Wivenhoe doorstep.

On Administration matters, plans are pressing ahead to abolish the Cross and Quay distinctions for WTC matters. This will not affect the CBC wards. With an increased workload, the plan is also to raise the number of (unpaid) WTC councillor’s from eleven to thirteen.

Did someone say an election is around the corner…?

And finally, back to Highways, which always seems to be something of a hot potato around Wivenhoe. Elmstead Road is due to close for essential gasworks for a period of five weeks. This will cover roughly the stretch from The Flag up to the football club.

The advance planning and publicity by the gas utility was praised by WTC as an example of how outside agencies *can* work successfully in partnership with local representatives and residents.

I think that’s the nearest that WTC will come to having a dig at the Environment Agency. Meanwhile, the diggers down at the Colne edge ever closer towards the old Crab ‘n Winkle line…

To the Town Council offices (cripes) on Tuesday evening for the bi-monthly meeting of the Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Action Panel, the Essex Police initiative, defined as:

“Each NAP consists of representatives from the local community, residents’ associations, children and young people, voluntary agencies, schools, faith groups, Town and Parish councillors, Colchester Borough Council, Essex County Council and other statutory groups or organisations that are best placed to make a valuable contribution to community problem solving throughout Colchester.”

Oh - and nosey bloggers as well. Many thanks for making me feel most welcome…

Scaling down further for Wivenhoe, and our very own #hyperlocal NAP states:

“We want to tackle crime and quality of life issues that are effecting Wivenhoe and the University of Essex. We not only want to tackle them but we want to reduce them.”

A cursory glance over at the online data released last week via police.uk reveals that downtown Wivenhoe ‘aint exactly a crime hot spot. Ah, but it’s all relative, and also all about reassurances.

Seven incidents of anti-social behaviour, plus the three reports of violent crime in December 2010, are much more than pure, hard online data. These are very real situations that NAP seeks to address to help to make Wivenhoe an even better place in which to live and work.

Violent crime is hard to predict. Parking issues however can be addressed to help achieve a positive outcome.

Um, can’t they…?

As was the case with the previous NAP back in November, a great deal of the debate on Tuesday evening was taken up with parking issues around the town. Put simply, we have too many cars parking within Wivenhoe.

You can’t legislate for car ownership; nor for local authority cuts, which reduces the budget available to address the issue. Which all rather depressingly sums up the majority of agenda items at the NAP: Parking problems, no money, not much we can do.

Bare with me, blog readers - there is something of a warm, happy ending involving Mayor Brian Sinclair…

But first the roll call of cars parking woes:

Rosabelle Avenue has been reported as being a problem area for dangerous parking. Wivenhoe Town Council is currently waiting on a review of the 2011 budget for possible funding.

Moving on…

Parking outside One Stop towards The Cross - Councillor Penny Kraft reported on the solution being pressed by WTC. Essex County Council Highways have agreed to widen the pavement at the Colchester Road end.

Hurrah!

The problem? The small matter of the shortfall of £25k to pay for this. Cripes, you’re thinking - that’s a lot of wonga for a small stretch of road. Indeed it is. A more conservative £4k is the figure for the physical pavement improvements; £21k is the amount needed to pay off the various utility and telco companies who would be caught up in the crossfire.

NAP Chair Eugene Kraft has approached One Stop about some friendly sponsorship to help carry out the work, and ultimately improve the parking outside the business. Times are tough for traders as well as local councils. Sadly the scheme is now on hold.

Something slightly more positive however is the report of disruptive parking outside Millfields School. Councillor Kraft observed:

“You need a physical presence to address this. Whenever someone from the school stands outside during the school run, parents tend to park properly. Without this however and the problem returns. People don’t park cars - they abandon them. This is a great inconvenience to local residents.”

In response, the Deputy Head of Millfields [apologies, didn't note your name...] kindly attended the meeting to update on the issue:

“Our last formal complaint from a resident was back in May 2010. If we aren’t aware of the issues, then we can’t act upon them. We have extended parking in the school so that there are more spaces. Teachers arriving early morning are parking flush to the edge of the space. We now have fewer employees parking outside the school.”

The Chair observed that the Millfields parking problem is now “not as bad as it once was.” The NAP agreed to remove the item from future agendas, pending any further complaints.

Which was all very considerate, which also leads rather nicely into, ah… the Considerate Parking Scheme.

This is a WTC initiative, which aims to promote a better understanding of the parking needs around the town, in the absence of any law of the land to ease the flow of traffic. Wivenhoe tends to be a terribly considerate town anyway. If such a scheme were to work, one would hope that it would work in Wivenhoe.

The idea is simple: encourage and promote a more considerate, shared use of car parking space around the town, and explain the positive outcomes for the community. Councillor Kraft explained how the scheme has been discussed at WTC, along with input from our local police team.

“We looked at the Brightlingsea model and concluded that the Brightlingsea problem is not the same as ours. WTC decided not to pursue the Considerate Parking Scheme. The police aren’t keen, and we haven’t got the backing from Colchester Borough Council.

Commuters cause the problems in Wivenhoe - in Brightlingsea it is residents. We tried to speak with inconsiderate parkers down at West Quay and we didn’t even know who we are dealing with.”

Wivenhoe Society Chair Tom Roberts was not alone in expressing his disappointment that this scheme has now been shelved:

“I had hoped that the Considerate Parking Scheme would address the problem of cars parking with two wheels on the road.”

[um... Valley Road.]

The official WTC response is that this can’t be done without police support.

Sgt Lou Middleton added:

“It is not an offence for cars to park on the public pavement, as long as they are not obstructing pedestrians. If it was HGV’s, then we could act.”

A discussion then followed about *ahem* Park Road in particular, and how double parking takes place on both sides of the pavement. It was suggested that putting double yellow lines down one side of the road would ease the problem, but… there isn’t a budget for this.

A work-around of sorts was concluded, which kept in with the very considerate nature of Wivenhoe: the NAP will work alongside the local police to leaflet cars, which are parked inconsiderately.

Different agenda point, same problem: dangerous parking along Elmstead Road. The Chair noted:

“Nothing can be done. The road is too narrow and there are no pavements.”

And then just when you wait for yet another dangerous parking conundrum, along comes… Queens Road.

Oh Lordy.

The problem, if indeed there is one with Queens Road, is not so much dangerous parking but the inverse and the continued closure of the stretch. An update was kindly provided by a QRRA member, outlining the Association’s view on the fire at the Business Centre last year.

This is all old ground, and nothing new was discussed that we didn’t already know. Highways are not prepared to change their position on the closure, and so the item was ticked off the NAP agenda.

And relax.

Sgt Littleton then explained a little more about the Essex Police Emerging Communities initiative:

“This is a government led scheme to identify new groups moving into communities. We are keen to identify these groups so that we can give them the same standard of support as we do other members of the community.”

A bit of head scratching around the Town Council table, and apart from an anti-Mubarak poster that has been spotted in solitary along Park Road, Wivenhoe doesn’t seem to be a town that is that transient right now.

But anyway - back to parking - or back to the pedestrian flow around parked cars to be more precise.

The much-mooted zebra crossing by the Co-op now seems like a lost cause. With much personal frustration, Mayor Sinclair explained the saga that has frustrated WTC for some time:

“We can’t have a pedestrian crossing close to a road junction, therefore the only location would be above from the Co-op. This would wipe out resident parking space, as well as creating extra cost in having to move the bus stop.

Delays happened, and we simply ran out of time with the project in relation to the budget. WTC is collectively very angry over this. The money has been put aside, and we want to make sure that we have still got access to this.”

Tom Roberts raised the valid point of tapping into some Section 106 funding as part of the planning process for Cedrics Bus Garage. The current planning application has now been withdrawn, with WTC waiting for an expected re-submitted approach.

AOB raised up the appropriate issue for a NAP panel of the closure of Wivenhoe Police Station. As has already been documented, Sgt Middleton, PC Bond and PSCO Neville are moving out to the Fire Station. Sgt Middleton confirmed that this would be happening later in the month. The ICT infrastructure is currently being kitted out.

The possible problem, as pointed out by Councillor Kraft, is that there will be no public access to the new premises. This is simply a physical imposition of the building.

Sgt Middleton commented that he doesn’t view this as a problem, as the old police station gets very few doorknockers anyway. A police surgery at the library was confirmed, as was the very visible police van drop in sessions that you can currently see around the town.

A final point was confirmation that the police houses will be sold…

And then as promised, here comes the lovely *ahhh* moment that one just wasn’t expecting to conclude a Wivenhoe NAP meeting.

Mayor Sinclair reported back on a couple of incidents involving vocal students, tired and emotional, late in the evening after taking part in the legendary Wivenhoe Run. Not wanting to condone the actions (The Flag down to The Station, and then back again, mid-week as an Essex undergraduate? Not me, Oh no, Sireee…) but there is something of a lovely ending.

Personal apologies have been made to locals who were disturbed by the behaviour, as well as apologies to our local pubs. My Mayor thought that this was very humble, and even told the young boozers this as well as encouraging them to return to our town.

Perhaps it’s a good idea to get the bus back to campus next time, eh, guys ‘n girls?

Oh - and with perfect comic timing, and just as the meeting was concluded, in walked the good Councillor Steve Ford.

The poor chap probably couldn’t find anywhere to park.

Whoops.

A slight concern over recent weeks as it seems that my little hyperlocal patch of Wivenhoe missed out on any Chronicle action over the Christmas period. But then come Saturday night, and I heard tales of the legend that is Scoop Scarpenter wandering around the town, delivering copies of the esteemed Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

The hyperlocal news cycle is continuous. Early Sunday morning, and with a hangover just starting to kick start my day, and there was Scoop, making a lunge for my letterbox with the February 2011 edition.

Hurrah!

And so here’s a brief headline updates of what’s in the Chronicle for Wivenhoe locals this month. Brightlingsea locals, lovely though I’m sure you are, can go and bugger off. Or start your own hyperlocal blog…

Local Police Station To Be Closed is the lead story.

“The decision by Essex Police to close their station at Brightlingsea, and their office in the High Street at Wivenhoe, and move their personnel to work out of the town’s fire stations has been met with considerable local dismay by residents.”

This is a win / win story for the Chronicle, covering both patches of the circulation footprint. Scoop has taken the story further, conducting a “random verbal poll,” probably in The Station, I’d wager.

Chin chin.

We discover from the results:

“There is almost disbelief that the police office will be transferred to a site adjacent to fields on the outskirts of town.”

This feeling of “disbelief” is deduced from a sample of 70 Wivenhoe locals, with only five residents thinking that the closure of the police station is not a matter for concern.

In response, Essex Police point out that the majority of calls for Wivenhoe are coming in from *ahem* the University, which will now be closer to our fine police officers, once the move to the Fire Station takes place in March.

But it’s not all about the old Bill in The Chronicle this month. For those of a flag flying persuasion, celebrating the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee may be of interest:

“Wivenhoe Town Council is setting up a working party to celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee in 2012. Several Councillors are involved, but they would like two or three members from the community to join the working party.”

I’m up for half of this suggestion - the party part. With personal plans for the Royal Wedding currently being put in place (based roughly around trying to avoid the happy couple) then no surprises that the Diamond Jubilee has yet to make it into my diary.

Given the Regal occasion, how about something based around Queens Road? It could even be an anti-street party, with the road opened up for traffic once again.

*HUGE irony insert there, btw…*

But let’s keep it positive. Page 2 of The Chronicle carries the story of Wivenhoe Eyecare picking up an Excellent Customer Service Award at the Colchester District Business Awards, 2010. Congratulations to all involved.

Poetry Wivenhoe is given a plug for 24th January at The Greyhound, as is the Folk Club for the 3rd February (no longer at The Greyhound, but now bedding down rather well up at The Flag).

Keeping it cultural and p.6 reports on the Gilbert and Sullivan Society production of Oklahoma! I really wish Mr G & S didn’t add an exclamation mark to their well-known body of work. I studied the Chronicle G & S Soc to Perform Oklahoma! headline for all of five minutes, yet still couldn’t see the joke. Hey hoe. 15th - 19th March is the run, with performances, as ever, at the William Loveless Hall. Tickets are on sale at both post offices.

Meanwhile, any news piece which states:

“There will be no bar and therefore revellers attending should arrive with their own drink and glasses…”

…gets the thumbs aloft from me. Mr Mayor’s “Forces Sweethearts” dance will be taking place on 12th February at, um, the William Loveless Hall, raising funds for our fine Mayor’s Charity Fund.

And that’s about yer lot from this month in the brilliant Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle. Now then - who is friendly enough with the good Scoop Scarpenter to have a very kind word, and try and sort out a plug for the growing Wivenhoe Forum in the March edition?

The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is distributed free amongst local households. Additional copies are 25p from local newsagents.