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To the Town Council Offices on Monday evening for an eve of Solstice pagan sacrifice, aka as a Wivenhoe Town Council monthly meeting. Peace, love and understanding were in the estuary air, and so was a Conservative Borough Councillor.

Cripes.

Suited and booted (me, not the Conservative Borough Councillor) and arriving fashionably late as ever, it was standing room only around the top civic table. I perched my backside strategically on the edge of the Press table, sitting on the fence and waiting to hear all about parking problems and dog pooh.

Eleven fine members of the public were left scrambling for seats for THE hot ticket in town that night. Bell ringing practice in Wivenhoe is on Wednesdays, Comrades.

Joining the Little People was a rare and welcome appearance from LibDem Councillor Manning of the Cross ward, Conservative Councillor Quarrie of the Quay and the ever present, ever smiling Councillor Ford, Labour’s red flag waving #workingforwivenhoe Comrade also from the Quay.

It’s not quite Never the Twain, but the political hot potato that was on everyone’s lips was when the chuffers will the Borough Councillors get it on with the Town Councillors?

Concern has been expressed by the UNPAID Town Councillors that communication with the big boys and girls of the Borough is not flowing quite as frequently as perhaps it should.

With Section 106 wonga floating around in Wivenhoe - a classic you scratch my back brown envelope time - the Town Councillors want to make sure that Borough Councillors are singing from the same St Mary’s Wivenhoe hymn sheet.

“Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always.”

And whilst yer at it, let’s chuck some cash from the Cook’s payback fund on a much needed new zebra crossing outside of the Co-op, Comrades.

It’s a fun filled life being a Borough Councillor. Sacrifices have to be made, and we’re not talking about the Solstice shindig on the muddy banks of the Colne either. Friday night has been put aside as a possible timeslot when Never the Twain will divvy up the local dosh.

Phew, rock ‘n roll.

A bit of local admin, and then we were straight in with Reports from the Borough and County Councillors.

It’s all about accountability, I tell ya…

Councillor Young, Labour’s representative on Essex County Council (seriously) was unavailable, but had kindly submitted a written report:

“New ways of working with Highways should make it easier for 20mph zones to be introduced around both schools in Wivenhoe. I have been in constant dialogue with Tracy Chapman, the Highways advisor on this.”

Hurrah!

Hang on - Tracy Chapman? 20mph? Talk about a Fast Car, etc.

Sticking with the #workingforwivenhoe Comrades, and Councillor Ford of the Quay was next to address the meeting:

“I called in the planning application for Rectory Hill. I was unhappy with the visibility of the approach, and the drainage. Highways are happy with the visibility, and I have been advised that the drainage concerns are a civil matter.

My concern about the limited parking space was upheld. The developer has hastily added in four extra parking spaces. The planning application has now been passed.”

Up towards the Cross ward and our two LibDem representatives have also been busy with congestion. A rare absence from Councillor Cory (pressing matters on the Policy Panel) but a written submission instead:

“I have been pressing the University about fixing a date for the Clingoe Hill closure ahead of the start of the Knowledge Gateway development. This has now been moved to the start of the summer holidays, to try and limit the congestion. I still expect we will have one - two weeks of aggravation.”

And then some.

Defying the #workingforwivenhoe election period claims that *ahem* “no LibDems are in Wivenhoe,” the Love Me I’m a Liberal lot then had safety in numbers with Councillor Manning of the Cross ward offering up his report to the Town Council:

“I am now sitting on the Planning Committee at Colchester Borough Council. NOTHING will get through.”

Cripes.

“I also have a new notebook to keep track of all the potholes that continue to appear.”

Yeah, and possibly a pitch to become a Glum Councillor as well.

Fine work, though fella.

It’s not quite a case of shuffling the deckchairs on the Titanic, but Conservative Councillor Quarrie of the Quay reported:

“I have been moved off Planning and now sit on Licensing.”

Which must be bad news for the 24/7 nightclub that I had planned for the Quay.

“Parking around the Cook’s development remains a key issue. The road has yet to be adopted by the County Council, which causes problems when we are trying to police it.”

Eight years and counting, my good Councillor…

Also giving cause for concern is the re-routing of the 74 bus route. Peter Kay, the Public Transport Representative explained how First Group, the current franchise operator, has sneakily slipped in a new route, which completely bypasses the town, turning off for Clacton instead.

“How ridiculous,” commented Councillor Kraft. She wasn’t alone in her observations and a polite, but purposeful letter is probably being penned from WTC right now.

The concern is that the move has been poorly advertised. Yoof may catch the bus, expecting a journey into Wivenhoe. With the sudden turn off, they could be out of town and out of funds as they speed off for an impromptu away day at the seaside.

A lengthy conversation then followed about the 20mph zone along the railway bridge at the bottom of the town. I became completely lost; I wasn’t alone.

Speaking in relation to transport matters, Peter Kay then posed the question:

“What does Wivenhoe Town Council propose to do about the annual nonsense that is the Wivenhoe May Fair?”

Cripes.

Awkward.

Having had this curveball thrown at him from across the civic chamber, Mayor Needham composed himself and offered up the reply that the May Fair Committee are working with WTC on future solutions.

Moving on…

Perhaps a bit of Planning to get the party back on track? Former Councillors Liddy and Purdey have been granted special powers (oooh!) to continue the fine work that they have started in representing WTC when it comes to all things Cook’s.

As for that old family favourite of the planned new Wivenhoe Surgery? Councillor Lodge updated with news that the deal is “far from dead.” The PCT has put the plan to the Doctor’s at the old surgery to see if they want to move forward.

Having a pre-defined national NHS policy as a framework in which to make these decisions would be nice.

Hey hoe.

In WTC Personnel news - THIS JUST IN: New litter picker James has impressed so much that he has been awarded a permanent position after the successful completion of his trial.

Hurrah!

Handling the aftermath of May Fair must have been a stern test, and one that James handled magnificently.

Onto the best bit - the Best Value Committee (aka secretly as the pre-WTC prepping meet where the real Council business is decided - behind closes doors - or so the suggestion has been made to me…)

Anyone been to Stanway of late? Apart from offering up a most splendid jazz club, my knowledge of our Colchester near neighbours is somewhat limited. This is all about to change, with WTC proposing to adopt the Stanway system of committees for local governance. The buggers better have the ACE Working Woods Party.

Back to Wivenhoe however, and in a turkeys voting for Christmas move, WTC agreed unanimously to foot the bill to pay for Mayoral badges for ex-Mayor’s.

Mmm…

It’s a badge of honour, and probably on balance one that is a worthy memento for the UNPAID work of Wivenhoe Town Councillors during their hectic year of civil service.

A slight shuffle along the press bench, and it was here that I made my strategic switch to *shhh* the Conservative hot seat.

Cripes.

All the best parties finally kick into action as the night closes in, and as the public chamber emptied and m’Conservative friend departed to ponder why Wivenhoe still hasn’t got a new surgery under the inspiring leadership of the Coalition, I played musical chairs.

Mr Mayor updated WTC about his activities, in what has been a very busy first month in office:

“I have attended sixteen formal events in the past month. The highlights included visiting Wivenhoe Youth Hub [ditto] the parade of the 16 Air Assault Brigade through Colchester, the opening of the *shhh* Quiet Garden at Broomgove Shcool and the Helping Hands AGM.”

Pleased to report that Helping Hands appears to be in sound financial hands, thanks to some very generous donations locally.

Five points then came out of the Community Safety feedback:

(i) Inconsiderate parking remains an issue (even though WTC, after taking police advice, decided not to implement a considerate parking scheme within the town…)

(ii) The local crime figures are low. A slight increase in burglary however has been recorded. The police have suggested that this is possibly a local gang, with laptops and TV’s being the main items going missing.

(iii) Traffic routes to Cook’s Shipyard have deviated.

Eh?

It appears that companies that don’t take the designated route down Valley Road are in danger of losing their contracts. Keep yer eyes peeled around *cough* Queens Road, Comrades.

(iv) Ball games by the Medway are showing some signs for concerns. Elder kids are getting slightly enthusiastic, with the balls entering into the road.

(v) And finally Speed Watch - this is now being rolled out during the school run hours, with a focus upon Bobbitt’s Way and Elmstead Road.

A brief break for the passing around the chamber of the official civic spearmints (receipts available for inspection on request) and then whaddya know - apt timing and Finance.

Quotes are being sourced for a possible asbestos survey for the William Loveless Hall toilets. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it, etc.

In Correspondence news and an appeal for support from WTC for the emerging Radio Wivenhoe group has been received. This is not necessarily financial, but an endorsement.

Granted, with Mr Mayor proudly declaring:

“This is a positive feature for Wivenhoe. It is an aid for further communication and helps to promote the town. We earnestly support Radio Wivenhoe.”

Splendid.

Someone should sign that man up for a guest spot on Wiv Chat.

Oh, hang on…

A rallying call then went out for players to take part in the annual Town Cricket Match on the evening of 13th July at Rectory Road. The official civic quotation that came out on the evening is:

“WE WANT TO WACK THEM.”

Cripes.

Any Other Business?

With the Ten Acres development looking likely to start soon, a new access road will be in place within Wivenhoe. Peter Hill has formally suggested naming this in memory of Dr Ted Palmer.

Plus no WTC meeting can be complete without the perennial Engine Shed rumour.

HONK!!!!

Massive rumour alert: minuted, but not necessarily economical with the truth, the continual pub gossip of the old Engine Shed being bought up by a developer wrapped up the meeting.

Any views?

A stunned silence filled the chamber.

Time for that pagan sacrifice in the Network Rail car park, Comrades?

To the Town Council Office on Monday evening for the first formal meeting of the new Wivenhoe Town Council administration. With four new Councillors sitting around the top table, the pub pecking order etiquette was observed for the seating arrangements:

“Oooh - you can’t sit there, m’ lovely. That’s old Alfie’s seat.”

But old Alfie [MADE UP NAME] is no longer with us, so dip yer bread, young blood.

I strategically took up my place sitting right by the door. You never know when you might want to make an early exist to watch #nffc’s season implode yet again.

Whoops.

Elsewhere around the chamber of fun and it was pleasing to see that all seats in the public gallery were taken. I say ‘public gallery,’ but I of course means the liberal (steady) scattering of chairs around the perimeter of the room.

Was an anarchic late spring Wivenhoe revolution uprising in the air? Um, nope - just the rightly proud family and friends coming along to support the new administration.

D-mob happy and ready to take a well-deserved back seat, Mr Mayor apologised for the non-appearance of the Lady Mayor (impending music duties - that’s fine, Madam) and then listened to a glowing eulogy from Councillor Needham, praising the civic year just passed:

“We made a wonderful decision twelve months ago to elect Councillor Sinclair as our Town Mayor.”

A bottle of something slightly stronger than the Adam’s Ale on the top table was handed over, which will hopefully be sufficient to see Councillor Sinclair through those long Wivenhoe winter nights. A bouquet then followed for the music making Lady Mayor.

It’s a rank old world, this business of local politics - now take up yer seat, kind Sir, back at the opposite end of the table.

In a game of grandee musical chairs, Councillor Needham then took up his place at the top of the table, and the formal handing over of the chains and the Mr Mayor title took place. I have a feeling that the “We made a wonderful decision…” speech will deservedly played out again this time next year.

Continuing the procession of politico titles, behind every great man there has to be a great woman. The new Mr Mayor has two - blimey.

With the (new) Lady Mayor also looking resplendent in the gallery, it was soon time to endorse Councillor Kraft as the new Deputy Mayor for the duration of the political calendar.

A local Wivenhoe league system of sorts is in place, to decide who gets to rise (and fall) with the civic chain. It is almost on par with the election of a new Pope, with the high and mighty having to come to an agreement to endorse a candidate.

It wasn’t quite smoke signals wafting down the High Street and high jinks and rejoicing all the way down to the Rose and Crown, but a three endorsements, one against and “a number of abstentions…” completed the process.

Civic duties complete, back to Civvy Street and the complexes of Town Council business. It is around this point in the evening when a young (ish) blogger usually loses the plot and fails to follow the thread.

I tried to keep up with the constitutional discussion about the Community Working Party, but to be honest, my mind (and iPhone) was elsewhere. Two quick first half goals for Swansea and I trust none of the esteemed Councillors noticed the whispered profanities that almost delayed the important business of the Community Working Party.

As I understand (actually, I don’t) and the issue here was one of adopting a new way of working with committees, chairs and communication. It wasn’t quite as severe as Forest going in 2-0 down at half time (seriously,) but the Town Clerk did interject with:

“What is being proposed is not a valid procedure and I would like this minuted please.”

Blimey.

For the record I also DIDN’T swear in the Council chamber when the second Swansea goal went in, but I wouldn’t mind if that was minuted.

With the WTC constitution changing in June (I think) Councillor Kraft raised concern that three committees are currently without Chairs, following the introduction of a new administration.

Straight off the subs bench and the abundance of new local political talent within Wivenhoe soon served as a stopgap. I don’t suppose any of the four new Bright Young Things of WTC could play up front for Forest whilst they are at it?

As with all new organisations, roles and responsibilities need to be carefully laid out. What followed was a shuffling of the WTC pack, and the allocation of representation on various local and civic organisations. Ah - but who is the joker in the pack, Comrades?

The Colchester Association of Local Councillors role went to Councillor Lodge; Civic Protection was taken by Councillor Needham. Our Public Transport Representative remains the good Peter Kay, Community Safety is covered once again by Councillor Lodge and Councillor Needham will continue his good relations with WivSoc.

Wearing his nautical hat and Councillor Sinclair will represent WTC on the Colne Estuary Partnership. The Wivenhoe Housing Trust will have the fine company of Councillor Needham, the District Board and Facilities Trust role fell to Councillor Lodge, Councillor Kraft sticks with NAP and Wivenhoe in Bloom will have the green-fingered representation from Councillor Richards.

This was very much a putting your house in order meeting for the new administration. Subscriptions were up for renewal next. I thought that the ever keen and eager WivSoc had the tin rattling down to a fine art, what with a door knock and a kindly “pay up, pal” request earlier in the month.

WTC agreed to renew the following subscriptions:

The Essex Association of Local Councillors - £824 per annum - ouch! In return, Mr Mayor stated that WTC gains many official documentation templates that are most useful.

One would hope so, at just under a grand.

Essex Fields and Trusts - £35 pa

The Institute of Crematorium Management - £90 pa (deadly silence…)

The Society of Local Council Clerks - £120 pa

Essex Regional Employers - £130 pa

Direct Information Service (nope, me neither…) £90 pa

Community Management Association - £116 pa. This is the body that grants a licence to enable the running of the Community Mini Bus.

The Council for the Protection of Rural Essex - £29 pa (I wonder which side they bat for as the Environment Agency continues to vandalise our locality?)

The Council for National Allotments - £25 pa and

The Friends of Historic Essex - £10 pa.

Not a great deal of overall expenditure, but there are a lot of local bodies that are making money out of local government. Meanwhile, the Association of Nerdy North Essex Semi-Politico Local Bloggers is about to go back in the red, Comrades - and I’m not talking metaphorical, either.

The minutes for the Annual Town Meeting were then adopted. A lengthy discussion followed about Section 106 money, what it means and why it is important. My understanding is that it is essentially the classic local authority you scratch my back argument: yep, you can build yer mega superstore, but give our community a brown envelope stuffed full of grubby fivers first.

For administrative, political and possibly hyperlocal territorial reasons, the dosh for Wivenhoe is split between the Quay and the Cross. The former obviously benefited greatly with the Cook’s redevelopment 106 money; the latter looks like coming out rather nicely after the University has finished making a mess of Wivenhoe Park with the Knowledge Gateway nice little earner. WTC is in favour of being able to distribute this money WHEREVER it sees fit in the town.

Reports from local political representatives followed. Councillor Julie Young, the Colchester Representative on Essex County Council spoke first.

“I am now no longer the only Labour member at ECC - we have formed a group with the election of another Labour member. I have taken up the position of the Leader of the Labour group.”

Cripes, Comrade: We are all equal, but some are more equal than others, etc.

The hard-working Councillor Young updated with plans for a public footpath leading from Broadfields towards the Football Club:

“This is now the third highest Highways priory in all of Essex. It will be a slow process, but discussions are already in place with the landowner. I am happy to report that relations between the Trust and the Football Club are now much better. The Football Club is welcoming a group of disabled young adults into the clubhouse to use the space as a social area.

Other items updated by Councillor Young included the building of a shelter for students waiting for the Colne bus, congratulating the 20 students volunteers from the University who took part in a recent litter pick, and the promise to look at the faded zebra crossing at The Cross - a point that was raised by a resident at the Annual Town Meeting.

Councillor Young then risked the wrath of the entire Tendring Peninsula by bringing up the Clingoe Hill and the disruption that the Knowledge Gateway is about to bring:

“We are still unsure when the roadworks will begin. It is hoped that these will be completed by the start of the new academic year, which indicates that they should be imminent.”

The newly re-elected Councillor Steve Ford, one of Wivenhoe Quay’s representative at Colchester Borough Council, then addressed the chamber:

“I personally take the Mayor Making process very seriously. Wivenhoe is very lucky in consistently having excellent candidates to fill this role.”

With the past month (and more) spent on the stump, Councillor Ford had little political content to add, although he did remark:

“I thought that my election campaign was going to be dramatic, but it wasn’t so, as it turned out…”

Ouch.

The #workingforwivenhoe fine fella did update on the planning update for nine flats along Rectory Road:

“I have concerns over parking and draining, and have raised these with the Council. The Planning officers agree, and this application will now be heard in front of the Committee.

Valley Road to Bobbit’s Way continues to suffer from potholes and more serious infrastructure damage. I will keep on reminding Highways of this.”

A quick race through the various WTC committee reports, although being a new administration, there was little to report back on. A new picnic bench has been installed in the wood, to replace the one that was sadly vandalised.

Likewise a bench has now been placed on the sea wall, looking out to Rowhedge (although why anyone would want to sit down and actually look out towards Rowhedge is beyond me.)

Councillor Sinclair then reminded WTC about the official confirmation received regarding the continued vandalism of our unique local environment by the Environment Agency:

“We have heard that this work will now be ongoing, with the diggers arriving sometime over the next two weeks. I am sure that our phones will be ringing and WTC will have plenty of complaints from residents.

The work by the EA is an approved policy - all we can do as a council is to refer any complaints to the official literature that we have received.”

Mr Mayor added:

“The EA knows what it is doing.”

Here’s hoping…

A quick refresh of the iPhone, and yep - Forest were still trailing 2-0. Time for a pick me up - time to conclude the first meeting of the new administration with news of what Mr Mayor has planned during his Wivenhoe civic year:

“A tea party (July) Wivenhoe’s Got Talent (cripes - February) and a Tramp’s Supper (come as you are - October.)”

Civic representation is promised at all three events. The tea party sounds charming; Wivenhoe’s Got Talent equally excites and worries me. The Tramp’s Supper is tailor made for many folk around these parts.

Perfect.

To the Town Council offices on Tuesday evening for the April Wivenhoe Neighborhood Action Panel meeting. I was in good company as well - with 5th May and polling day rapidly approaching, it was encouraging (and not surprising) to see a raft of local politico types from the red and blue side of the great divide, all squaring up around the Town Council table and talking complete twaddle.

Whoops - wrong Borough / Town.

This is Wivenhoe etc. We are overtly political with a small c (and it doesn’t stand for what is use to do back in m’South London days, Comrades…)

Ah, but wait - what’s this? It’s only the Deputy Speaker of the House of Lords entering the Wivenhoe Town Council chamber.

Cripes.

Esteemed company indeed, with Mr Deputy substituting the political hot potato of Westminster for parking, pedestrians and dog pooh in Wivenhoe.

It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

One by one, and jaws dropped in the Wivenhoe food chain of politico hierarchies. We had Wivenhoe Town Councillors, Colchester Borough Councillors and Essex County Councillors all present. The top trump of them all was the Deputy Mr Wig, here in an observation role, to see how local policing works.

Lovely to have you here in the Hoe, kind Sir. I hope that this little slice of local democracy compared well to the day job back in the chamber.

And so what of this little slice of local democracy, Comrades?

Um…

Arriving ever so slightly fashionably late, I interrupted the good Chair in full flow, who was about to abandon the Wivenhoe NAP. Well, not quite, but certainly a common sense scaling down of the current schedule of meeting every couple of months.

The reasoning? Parking (and not dog pooh) dominates the NAP agenda. In these austere and uncertain of economic times (I noted Mr Deputy making a note of this) there is very little dosh in the Essex County Council budget to implement any NAP arrangements.

I’m sure we’d all rather be back at base, watching Eastenders, or whatever it is that local politico and community types do of a spare Tuesday evening.

The rubber stamp of the long arm of the law was required to pass this motion. A quick look around the council table and we appeared to be in a state of anarchy in Wivenhoe. Law and order was absent.

And then with perfect Keystone Cops comedy timing… ‘evening all.

‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello - what have we here then? It’s only the very decent Sgt Middleton and PC Bond arriving at the scene of the non-crime. Protocol was observed; NAP resolved to meet once a quarter. Back to the cops and robbers on Eastenders then.

But first a brief run through of what was left on the NAP agenda. With all but one item relating to traffic, Mr Chair asked if there were any objections in not having to sit through a car crash of a NAP agenda, debating transport issues when there is plenty of political will, but not much economic capital.

Essex County Councillor Julie Young added a positive update to the transport agenda. The lady’s not for turning (steady) but a u-turn of sorts by Essex County Council was passed on from our Colchester representative.

A new parking initiative has been set up, roughly slicing the county between the north and the south. With Sunny Colch holding the power base in the north, all parking provision will be channeled through the Oldest Recorded.

This was implemented on 1st April (no kidding…) and is still being worked out at a County level as to how it will actually work at a #hyperlocal level. There is new funding however to be used for any outstanding parking issues. We may be political with a small c in here in Wivenhoe but our PARKING PROBLEMS are so bad that I have typed them in CAPS.

See what I did there?

The very decent NAP Chair suggested that if *any* funding comes our way, it should be put to use in resolving the continued parking congestion around Tesco.

Wwwwhat…?

Hang on - Tesco?

Yep - here in Wivenhoe. It seems that Londis / One Stop is about to be re-branded as Tesco. One Stop is simply the badge name anyway for what marketing types call a white label version of the brand.

Basically it means that the brand is toxic in a little local community, and so it gets a new name. It’s a bit like the Royal family pretending that they’re not really a bunch of bierwust biters. Except here in Wivenhoe, the brand is about to bite back. Tesco here we come.

Oh Lordy.

Such semantics shouldn’t lose track of the main traffic issue here: parking outside One Stop is a pain. Putting a new sign above the shop front ‘aint gonna solve the issue.

What we need is a #hyperlocal campaign; perhaps a budding local type with good intentioned politico ambitions to, y’know, start a petition.

Ah - lookey here - sitting to my left (and not my Left) was the very charming Mo Metcalfe Fisher, the Conservative candidate for the Wivenhoe Cross ward in the forthcoming Colchester Borough Council local elections.

Parking is an issue that Mo has addressed. If he can convince Essex County Council that the £30k needed to fob off BT and the like to implement a better parking scheme is worthwhile, then he deserves the job of, um, Deputy Speaker in the House of Lords.

And so having resolved not to talk about parking, the NAP then talked about parking and other car related matters: Blink and you’ll miss it - it’s only Speed Watch as the next agenda item…

There is some genuinely good news to report here. The Chair raised this issue at the recent meeting of NAP heads (something which I have been called once or twice in my time.)

Authorisation has now been given for the local team of trained volunteers to venture out on to Elmstead Road and point their pointy equipment at any speeding motorist. The only reason that this has not happened sooner is because of the recent road works.

Any passing motorist (or even cyclist) speeding up to Broad Lane best watch out as from now on. The Cross and Rectory Road are next up on the radar for the Speed Watch folk. Councillor Steve Ford chipped in with the suggestion of Bobbits Way in his Quay ward to also be under the Speed Watch consideration.

A debate then followed about exactly when this will all commence. Wearing my civic hat and I’m not going to tell you - the whole point is to catch out any boy racers / girl cyclists. Actually a date hasn’t been set; but it may be tomorrow. Or the day after. Or perhaps after the Royal Wedding? Well, sometime before the next NAP anyway.

Officially signed off under: PROGRESS.

Sgt Middleton then updated briefly on the continued search for any Emerging Communities in Wivenhoe. Nope - nothing; just an exiled South London blogger.

Any Other Business had a local resident raising the issue of unwelcome ball games being played by young folk around Henrietta Close up towards the top of the town. It started off as one of those provincial local matters that must have had Mr Deputy Speaker from the House of Lords scratching his ceremonial wig.

But this was a very real issue for the local resident, who articulated her case well, and developed the matter to become more of a concern about the bureaucracy of red tape at a very #hyperlocal level of governance.

Who do you turn to? The NAP? Turns out not, according to the NAP members. WTC? Colchester Borough Council? Essex County Council? The police?

All agencies have been approached, yet still the problem exists. This discussion was played out to a Carry On Red Tape conclusion. We even had a *shhh* Labour member praising Dave’s #bigsociety.

Blimey.

We soon got back on track with another AOB Q on Considerate Parking - or more to the point, why did the NAP rule out implementing a considerate parking scheme, as has been put in place over in Brightlingsea?

Sgt Middleton pointed out that he doesn’t want to tie up his staff with admin matters. A good point, and well made. A lively discussion followed, once again demonstrating that if the NAP is only in place to discuss parking, little will be resolved.

And so that was the April NAP done and dusted, and just about in time to catch Eastenders back at base. It wasn’t quite the soap opera I expected (NAP, not Eastenders) and there wasn’t exactly a cliffhanger at the end.

We’re very conservative with a small c in Wivenhoe. Mr Deputy Speaker would no doubt agree.