onionbagblog

To the Hythe! …early on Friday morning for a meeting with Bob Russell MP.

Blimey.

I say meeting - it was more like a friendly fire side chat with the LibDem MP for Sunny Colch, but without the fireside but an army of garden gnomes to surround us instead.

No kidding.

The very lovely folk of @Colchester101 magazine had kindly arranged the interview. My task was to turn up just off Hythe Hill, suited and booted and transform Saint Bob into the cover star for 101 for next month.

Cripes.

Having heard tales of trepidation ahead of the interview, I did my research. Voting records, expenses, um… firststite.

“Bob is Bob is Bob” is the phrase that kept on coming back to me. He is as much a part of Colchester as a Roman centurion is, proudly defiant, doing his own thing and not afraid of upsetting anyone that deviates him away from his task of talking up the town.

I read the wise Mr Mule’s words on his Westminster meeting with Bob before leaving base. It had a calming effect knowing that if the Pop Genius took something of a shine to Bob, then hopefully my cover star quest shouldn’t go disastrously wrong.

I needn’t have worried. A few sweaty palms just before 9am (mine, not his) and then before we started recording, I was made to feel at home in his constituency office with a tour of the various artefacts that have been accumulated in his fourteen years as Colchester’s MP.

Garden gnomes figured heavily.

I had planned for twenty minutes - thirty at a push - to survive the Colchester political cauldron. Forty-five minutes later and it was me who was wrapping up the interview, conscience of the editing that would be required, should our conversation continue.

I’m going to write it up for @Colchester101 over the next few days, giving it some context and exploring in more depth some of the wider themes for the town. But for m’blog, I thought I would open up an insight, and pull out some of the themes that may be of relevance to a Wivenhoe angle.

We start off with the city status bid for Colchester. All the prestige may be focussed upon the town itself, but what would city status actually mean for folk living in Wivenhoe?

“I know that some of the people living in the Borough outside of Colchester are not enthused. That’s fine - I’m not actually enthused that places outside of Colchester are in the Borough.

When I first got elected to Colchester Borough Council in 1971, it was just the town. Local government reorganisation meant that from 1st April 1974, Wivenhoe Urban and District Council merged with Colchester.”

Good point, well made. I have often found it perplexing why we have to pay Council Tax to Colchester Borough Council, yet we have an MP who represents Harwich and North Essex.

“Frankly I wouldn’t lose any sleep if we had another local government reorganisation and we went back to the historic Borough of Colchester, which by happy coincidence, is the boundary of my constituency.”

The above quotes from Bob read rather harshly - don’t take it too personally - I *think* that he has a lot of love for Wivenhoe. Off mic and we touched upon his involvement in helping to put in place the Wivenhoe Trail. He spoke highly of Conservative Borough Cllr Ann Quarrie of the Quay ward, and her personal input on this project.

It also seems that Bob is an occasional drinker at the Black Buoy - we spoke (off mic…) about Boxing Day and the Colchester Morris Men. I truly wish that I had recorded the wonderful phrase “I confess that I am something of a Morris Men groupie…”

I looked rather sheepishly into my notes when Bob remarked “that’s a little silly really” in response to my point that a sense of community could be lost when a town becomes a city.

Ask a silly question…

“Somewhere like Wivenhoe has immense pride in its community. It is distinctive from the town of Colchester.”

I think we were both in agreement in keeping this status quo, although possibly coming from different perspectives…

Keeping Colchester and Wivenhoe at a safe distance of course is the Hythe. This is an area that has fascinated me much of late, mostly coming out of Mr Mule’s recent ramblings and observations.

Bob also has big plans for the former industrial heartland of the area:

“I want the Hythe to marketed as Colchester’s Second London Station, to try and get people who are currently clogging up the North Station to start their journey at the Hythe.”

Which would seem to make sense.

And then for the next part of the interview, I simply couldn’t shirk away from the VAF and the imminent opening of firstsite.

Neither did Bob.

Having been an incredibly vocal critic of the visual arts facility that is about to open in Colchester, I asked Bob if he would be attending the opening ceremony next month:

“I believe I’ve been invited. I sense that if I were there, that would be a distraction. It’s their big day. It’s been said that I want the project to fail - NO I don’t want the project to fail. The last thing I want is for this to be an even bigger burden on the people of Colchester.”

We tracked back slightly, and Bob’s original solution seems to be a hybrid of the bus station and public art:

“Rather than have England’s 300th publicly funded art gallery, you could have England’s first bus station art gallery.”

Blimey.

I tried to explore the benefits that firstsite will eventually bring to Colchester - better to have it here, than elsewhere, etc…

“I would have been delighted if this millstone had gone somewhere else.”

Which is Bob being Bob being Bob. Which is also why he is so successful at getting elected, and why he is such a popular figure around the town. The inner aspiring artist within (me, not Bob) has to admit that he has the pulse of the man on the street (i.e. the electorate) to perfection.

We moved on with the Nu Labour phrase of “we are where we are,” both grimacing, both remembering that the local Labour party have been in bed with the VAF from day one.

Bob was keen to put aside the point of view that he is an arts philistine. He rolled off many leading artists in the area that are there to be celebrated, and then asked me head on:

“Are you aware that we have the leading accordion band in the country here in Colchester?”

Um…

Bob quite genuinely then spoke some very complimentary words towards Kath Wood, the Director of firstsite - like I said, Bob has a friendly growl, rather than a viscous bite.

But the point is that Bob Russell clearly loves the arts, just not the more avant-garde angle that artists sometimes have a tendency to disappear upwards:

“There is an elitist strand, that even at this moment, cannot grasp the fact that they are so unpopular. They could retrieve part of the situation by saying, well actually, it would help us to get people through the door if tourist coaches can deposit them outside our door. Let’s go out into the community. But they won’t.”

It remains to be seen if this taking public art out into the community is successful for firstsite, but on a related topic, this weekend of course sees the Colchester Free Festival in Castle Park - an event being organised by the creative community @15QueenStreet. How much more public can you get?

And finally - will you be standing again for public office at the next general election? Will the coalition still be in place? Is there actually anyone out there that can take the place of the huge personality that Bob Russell has been able to offer the Colchester electorate?

“David Cameron feels more at home working with some of the LibDem MP’s than he does working with some of his right wing head banging Tory MP’s - of which there are several right wing head banging Tory MP’s in Essex”

OUCH.

Tell It Like It Is, Bob.

“I’m sixty-five, I shall be sixty-nine at the next general election. I think we’ve got to see what happens. It’s a question of maintaining that enthusiasm, and belief that I can do the job. I enjoy representing my hometown in Parliament. However long that goes on for, Mother Nature will decide.”

And the electorate, I added to the record…

Bob clearly loves Colchester and would rather spend his time in the town than having to compete with all the nonsense that Westminster brings. But for a successful local politician to speak up for his hometown, he needs to work in the political twaddle that is Parliament.

I found him a warm, illuminating and bloody funny bloke in which to spend just under an hour in the company of on a drab Friday morning. Off mic and we swapped tales of *shhh* the messy world of Lambeth politico life. I rather liked Bob’s take.

I think that he enjoyed our chat - he suggested sending a copy to Andrew Phillips and the Colchester Recalled oral history project. I like to think that in years to come, local historians will hang on to every word from a blunt bloke laying out his vision for the town / city in which they are now living.

Other topics that we touched on included the expansion of the town (“too quick,”) trains and trams (“We still need a visionary government - we didn’t get it from Labour and we aren’t getting it from the coalition,”) tuition fees at the University (ouch), the Knowledge Gateway, listing Wivenhoe Park and the “Essex Olympics of 2012” - a phrase which I rather like. Stratford is a lot closer than Sunny Stockwell.

And so yeah - quite a character, quite a charmer.

Would I vote for him?

Ah… not living within his Colchester constituency boundary, and that is a hyperlocal, hypothetical question, Comrades.

To the Rose and Crown on Friday evening for what seemed like an event that half of Wivenhoe had turned out to witness. I like to think that the merry making of the Colchester Morris Men was the reason for the rallying of the troops; I suspect Friday night riverside refreshment played a part.

After freezing their jingly jangly bells off outside the Black Buoy on Boxing Day, the good folk of the Colchester Morris Men returned to these parts under slightly more favourable conditions.

It takes some balls (and big sticks) to get all handkerchief-ed up on a Friday night, and then skip around the Quay to the sound of some fiddly diddly folk music. When I tired it all alone last week, I came close to ending up in a padded cell for the evening.

But there’s safety in numbers - both for Morris Men and boozers alike. Shortly after 8pm, the first bellows from the accordion were puffed out, and the spectacle of mass middle-aged men skipping was upon us.

An appreciative audience clapped, took photos and then went back to boozing - just another Friday night in Wivenhoe then.

There was no giant wooden dog doing the rounds this time, but instead a large wooden spoon was passed around the tables of the Rose and Crown. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to offer up some loose change, or use the utensil as some medieval phallic totem-pulling device.

The good men of the Colchester red ‘n green continued with their skipping, just about holding off the elements with their estuary non-rain dance. Five pints later and it was time for me to head back to base with a hop, skip and a jump. No bells, no big sticks - only inside my trousers anyway.

Boom boom.

To the Wivenhoe Bookshop on Saturday morning for some Radio Wivenhoe interview training. We may revel in our amateur status, but to keep the big boys of broadcasting from getting hold of a community licence, a training programme has to be in place.

Which is no bad thing, given the bumblings around the edges of of an mp3 player that I have so far put out in the name of Wiv Chat.

We are blessed here in Wivenhoe to have Heather Purdey as a local resident. Having made a name for herself in fronting up radio newsrooms in the ’80s and early ’90s, Heather is now a highly esteemed academic, holding the post of Director of International Journalism at City University.

But that’s all for the day job. Heather very kindly gave up her weekend to help out a rag tag collection of hyperlocal broadcasting types to sit in the splendour of the backroom shed at the Bookshop, and help us out as we explore what lies ahead for Radio Wivenhoe.

We have pretty much been making it up as we go along in the short history of Radio Wivenhoe - have mp3 recorder, will travel. Physically setting up the station was the priority. Smoothing out the rough edges and coming up with the What Next has to be addressed now.

With news of the hyperlocal station just starting to spread around the town, we have a little grace to experiment and find some future direction; or even find how to turn on your portable mp3 player and actually record some content.

Whoops.

But Radio Wivenhoe needs a focus to keep the momentum and enthusiasm progressing. We certainly found this on Saturday, with a microphone being thrust into our face and an impromptu interview greeting each guest upon arrival.

Must try that one at the locals stagger out of The Station after last orders on a Saturday night…

It wasn’t just the interview technique that Heather was able to condense into our three hour slot, but also the physical set up in putting in place a makeshift studio in your own front room.

With @AnnaJCowen covering all four corners of Studio Wiv Chat with a pot of Dulux back at base, there are some basics that I have overlooked. Body language is all-important, especially when you have strapped down your guest for an hour as you try and unearth that previously unknown piece of hyperlocal history.

Come mid-morning and is was time to be let loose on the locals of Wivenhoe.

Oh Lordy.

The practical task was set to tear up and down the High Street and come back with a short piece. I pondered going to Papa’s Chip Shop and delicately producing a piece of advertorial, all for the small price of one of the finest saveloys you can get your yer lips around in North Essex.

I buggered off down to the Quay instead: not a single soul insight. Wivenhoe is very good at sleeping though Saturday mornings. Questions were considered about the unwelcome boat, but no one was around to answer them.

Hard-pressed hyperlocal news hounds can probably find a story at the Sailing Club I though. Not at low water Jase.

Whoops.

The charming Pet Shop Girls at the Business Centre were also on my radar, but by now I was starting to get some slightly crazed looks after watching a couple of local lads roll around in the mud by the jetty, hovering with my mic, and poised to ask them what they hell they were doing.

“Having fun, innit?”

Hey hoe.

With the studio clock counting down, I made a dash for the Wivenhoe Trail. This has been a hotbed of hyperlocal debate of late over on the Wivenhoe Forum (whaddya mean… blah blah blah - oh, just…)

Permissive Use by Bicyclists doesn’t amount to free love and understanding being dished out by Ferry Marsh, but watch yer back - it’s only one of those lycra lovers about to take you up the backside.

THIS is local news. THIS was going to be my lead back in the Bookshop shed.

I wandered lonely as a cloud, almost as far down as the Hythe. Not a single cyclist or pedestrian passed me.

Wake up Wivenhoe: TIME TO DIE.

Eventually a charming Dutch couple slowed down outside the old Engine Shed as I waved at them on their touring bikes like a mad fool waves at a wet hen.

“Um, yeah, um, Radio Wivenhoe, y’know, so, right, what d’ya think of cycling?”

It wasn’t the best opening question and my guests were struggling slightly with the lingo. Still, I recorded three minutes of audio, which probably made more sense if you could see the head nods that got us around the language issues.

Happy with the scoop, and with a skip and a hop along Station Road, I listened back to my recording.

Don’t press DELETE Jase, press save. DON’T PRESS DELETE, JASE PRESS SAVE.

So yeah, I inadvertently deleted my three minutes of fame.

Back down towards the Hythe it was then.

Well, not quite. A couple of new to Wivenhoe locals walked past, I filled them in; they had heard of Radio Wivenhoe and were only to keen to help out the bumbling boy about town with a mic.

A closed question here and there went against all the theory that we were taught back in the Bookshop shed, but I quite like the short piece. It’s not going to throw the global financial crash off the top of the news bulletins, but then again the Dow Jones never really played out very strong in the beer garden at The Station.

Back at the Bookshop and all four students listened to the recordings that we returned with. Puffin came back with a brilliant insight into life in the village Post Office, ex Cllr-Cyril headed for the boozer and welcomed the new land lady at the Black Buoy for a bar side chat. Mr Mule talked about Led Zep with Heather.

We all had four unique interviews, with four very different interview techniques. Those Editorial Board meetings at Radio Wivenhoe are going to keep us up all hours over those long winter months.

And so some three hours later after first bumbling through the Bookshop doors, I reflected on what had been the most useful and practical Saturday morning that I have experienced in some time - I’m including my time spent getting lost in the gardening aisles down at B & Q.

No formal news gathering is in place as yet at Radio Wivenhoe, but there are stories out there to be told, I tell ya.

We concluded with some wonderful serendipity. I knew of Heather in a different life some twenty-five years ago as my first job as the bumbling boy at the local radio station. Heather was already running the newsroom, and was about to go on to even better things.

A quarter of a century later, and we were both in the backroom shed at the Wivenhoe Bookshop and about to take the next step for Radio Wivenhoe.

The local radio station from back in the day has long since been lost to the big boys of corporate radio. Heather told me of how a breakaway hyperlocal online station back in the Fair City has since sprung up.

Now *that* sounds like something you want to here…

To the Quay late on Saturday afternoon for the Wivenhoe Regatta. We weren’t alone - half the town, and half of North Essex seemed to have been shipped in for all the aquatic fun and frolics.

With our friends from National Express East Anglia playing silly buggers once again, all routes into Wivenhoe were strictly via water only. Which is all rather appropriate for a Quayside event.

The chaps from the Romford Navy even made a special guest appearance in their blinged up pieces of plastic that somehow pass as boats. Next time remember to read your Wivenhoe bylaws, fellas - nicking a mooring and almost forcing the legitimate owners to be left stranded at sea isn’t exactly smooth sailing.

Hey hoe.

This was the only damp squid in what was otherwise an ACE afternoon down at the front. The participants in the raft race may tell a different story - getting wet was definitely part of the event. I only wish the boys from the Romford Navy had experienced the same sinking feeling before barging into the town.

For the record, I have been asked to point out that the good ship Papa’s Chip Shop won the raft race. The first homemade craft to pass the finish line had no formal association with Mr Papa and his fine fillets of fish; he was simply the adopted name in which to nail your colours to the mast. Or even oil barrels.

The boys from the Black Buoy experienced a Cambridge Boat Race sinking feeling, even before they had lifted anchor on the old Sailing Club hard. I suspect perhaps this was all part of the plan. I felt it picky to point out that sellotape isn’t actually waterproof.

We strolled up towards the Rose and Crown to try and gain a better vantage point. Local stalls, local conversation and local booze slowed us down. Brian next door looked resplendent on his balcony, conducting the brass band as they broke out into Rule Britannia.

What was wonderful about the Wivenhoe Regatta was the impromptu parties that were breaking out along West Quay. BBQ’s and booze seemed to appear outside every house. The Regatta is merely a convenient excuse in which to come together.

Our canoes didn’t make an appearance - too busy on photographic duties. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking with it, Comrades. Give us a year to find our sea legs, and we’ll be back next year, still not knowing our port from our starboard, possibly ramming the Romford Navy.

Blogger overboard.

Full flickr feed over here.

To The Station on Friday evening, and with sunshine in abundance, as well as an ambulance for cover (clever, Jase) it can only mean one thing: the pre-Regatta Wivenhoe Pram Race.

Oh Lordy.

The premise is that teams of mother and child are pushed around the boozers down towards the bottom of the town, sampling the fine ale and taking in the lovely Quayside view on a late summer’s evening whilst quaffing.

The reality of course is a rather messy affair. Half pints were necked, trolleys almost became de-wheeled along West Quay and a quite stunning pair of fishnets tights (nice, Madam. VERY nice) felt the full force of the pram Race rough and tumble.

A decent crowd greeted the start of the race outside The Station. The event was THE hot ticket in town - even hotter than a return ticket for the No. 61 bus, which had a few problems negotiating the station roundabout, such was the size of the Pram Race spectators.

Three teams contested the 2011 event. Not one to get all hyperlocal on your mother and baby bad ass, but two teams were Wivenhoe locals, and one was a bussed in ringer late entry.

Straight off the train, straight into the Station and then a compulsory Pram Race conscription for the two good humoured out of town chaps. Bets were being placed as to when our two visitors would first get lost on route.

Shortly after 7:15, and the grand countdown kicked in the start of the race. Or rather it kicked in the first half pint of the Station’s finest. Prams were boarded and West Street was next up en route.

Another swift half along West Quay, and then the crowds had gathered outside the Rose and Crown, midway point in the race. I could now see the logic in dressing up and running the risk of pre-Regatta injury - at least mother and child managed to get served speedily in the Rose and Crown.

No time for a top up, but another mad trolley dash up Black Buoy Hill, and then the glory of the sprint finish and another swift half. Phew. You needed a hyperlocal sense of cartography just to keep up with all the action.

And whaddya know - the two out of towners only went and stole the glory. I blame the Wivenhoe booze mentality for slowing the locals down.

This was a bonkers, but equally enjoyable start to the Regatta weekend. Well done to the three teams for stepping forward, especially so the ringers who made a number of new friends over the course of the evening.

There was a semi-serious side, in that a wandering crowd of local folk came out and did something of a mini-Wivenhoe run. Supporting local boozers has to be a good thing, especially so given the news I heard at the Black Buoy a lot later in the evening.

But a man can’t go wrong with fishnets and booze. It rather suited the ladies as well.

Serving Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe and Nearby Villages, another fortnight passes and whaddya know - it’s only a personal delivery of the esteemed Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Hurrah!

I often worry about those mystical Nearby Villages. I often worry about Brightlingsea, but for completely different reasons. It’s a fine job that the Chronicle does in covering a news patch (get you) that stretches out from the University all the way across to the coast.

Caught up in-between of course are those Nearby Village. Some may say the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea. That’s the high price to pay for living in Alresford, Comrades.

But anyway - applying a BIG BLACK MARKER to all the Brightlingsea and Nearby Villages news pieces [as ever - start yer own hyperlocal blog] and what are we left with within the Wivenhoe news beat?

Um…?

Not a great deal for this fortnight, folks. Wivenhoe has been closed this weekend. That’s what Latitude does for a small estuary fishing town. But flicking through the newsprint pages, and those hyperlocal Wivenhoe news stories are there to be treasured, much in the same way as finding a reduced price loaf of harvest grain up at the Co-op.

I’ve been a hungry man of late - both for local gossip and harvest grain.

Sailing into town this weekend (see what I have done there?) is of course the Wivenhoe Regatta. Scoop Scarpenter recognises this with the snappy p.3 headline of:

The Wivenhoe Regatta

Tell It Like It Is, my good man.

“The Wivenhoe Regatta will start this year on the evening of Friday 22nd July with a pram race in the lower part of the town, and with main maritime and quayside activities on Saturday 23rd July.

Pram racing will start at 7:15pm outside The Station pub and will finish at the Black Buoy, with “mother and baby” having to drink half a pint of beer at all the pubs in lower Wivenhoe.”

Cripes.

I hope we’re not including The Legion, the Colne Social Club, the Sailing Club… etc.

“High tide is at 6pm and the maritime activities commence at 4pm. These will include a raft race, several rowing races and barge and smack races.”

And *possibly* some bonkers bloke still trying to work out how best to paddle his bloody kayak.

Blimey.

If you’re relying upon more traditional transport on Regatta day, then take the p.4 advice of Scoop, when he informs us:

The 74 Isn’t the Same Anymore

Tell It Like… blah blah blah…

“Recently the 74 bus route between Colchester and Clacton underwent a time saving alteration. It now runs along Rectory Road, Wivenhoe and misses out The Avenue and Belle Vue Road.”

It also leaves plenty of passengers, both elderly and young, somewhat stranded. Donctha just love this time saving progress?

But wait! What’s this?

Just as you start to organise a hike across half of the town in order to meet your loved one (s) off the No. 74 from Clacton (Kiss Me Quick, Comrades) and Scoop rather helpfully adds:

“However, it’s not quite as simple as that. On Sundays and during the evening after 7pm it will continue to run on the old route along The Avenue and Belle Vue Road.

Talk about a Magical Mystery Tour. I wonder what our friends from Nearby Villages make of it all?

The BEST headline in The Chronicle this fortnight of course goes to:

Wivenhoe Beavers Bury a Time Capsule

*straight face, Jase. straight face*

“As part of the activities nationally to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Beavers Scouts, an organisation for boys and girls 6 to 8 years of age [ah - I see...] the 1st Wivenhoe Beavers marked the event recently by burying a time capsule locally.”

And jolly smart and smiling the little chaps and chappesses look in the photo call as well.

“Contained in the capsule were various items including letters from the children about facilities and items they have now, but were not available for youngsters of their age 25 years ago.”

Like the 74 bus?

Whoops.

But for all the bad jokes, it’s better to leave it to the (semi) professional big boys and girls:

Comedy Time at Wivenhoe

I think you know what’s coming, chuckle friends…

“The next meeting of Wivenhoe’s very own comedy club, the Wivenhoe Funny Farm, will be held on Thursday 21st July [um, day of publishing for this blog post...]

The line-up will include previews from this year’s Edinburgh Festival with performances by Kevin Shepherd and Catie Wilkins. As usual the club night will be held in Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club’s pavilion, Rectory Road. Doors open at 7pm for an 8pm start.”

Splendid.

On a similar theme:

An Afternoon of Live Music, muses upon:

“An afternoon of live music and fun for all the family will be provided at Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club on Sunday 24th July. The event will run from 1pm to 6pm and music will be provided by the bands Bouncing Off Concrete and Praying Mantis.

“Tickets are strictly limited, no sales on the gate. They can be purchased at the Horse and Groom pub or at the cricket club on match days.”

Anything else to add? Alresford? Elmstead Market? Little Bentley?

So near, yet so far.

Different world, Comrades. Different World.

The sixth Wiv Chat recording is something slightly different. Having had a historical approach to the previous recordings, my conversation with Marika Footring looks ahead to the first staging of a new event in the Wivenhoe calendar - the St Mary’s Church Ale.

Chin chin.

There is still a fascinating historical story here. We talk about the origins of the Church Ale and how they emerged during Mediaeval times as a means to help bond the community together. There really couldn’t be a more suited location to resurrect the Church Ale than Wivenhoe.

As Marika explains during our recording, Ales took the form of many different guises during Medieval times:

“The Church Ale, held to encourage parishioners to come and pay their tithes and so to help pay for the upkeep of the church building; the Bride Ale, benefited a newly married couple; the Clerk Ale, to support the impoverished curate.”

But it’s not all about the booze. First off here are the basics:

The St Mary’s Church Ale will take place over the weekend of 17th and 18th September. Essentially it is a celebration of the community involving a grand procession, traditional crafts and… ale. The event is free to attend, with any money raised being used to help maintain the upkeep of St Mary’s.

We talk about the events planned for the Church Ale during our chat. Mr Mayor will lead a Medieval procession from the KGV down to St Mary’s. A costume competition is in place for the kids, and traditional crafts such as rope making will be available to experience.

Oh - and there will be beer, very kindly brewed from the local Sticklegs Brewery at Elmstead Market.

I found the conversation fascinating - Marika has clearly put a tremendous amount of planning and time into the resurrecting the Church Ale. Hopefully the recording can also act as a rallying call - as ever, volunteers are always needed.

A Church Ale open planning meeting has been called for the evening of 24th July, taking place at 7pm in the Black Buoy. Anyone with an interest in the event is urged to attend.

Radio Wivenhoe meanwhile has just completed the end of a highly successful first week of broadcasting. The range of shows has been as diverse as one would expect from Wivenhoe. We’re far from a slick operation - we recognise that. The idea is very much to start with realistic ambitions and see where the project takes us.

Next up on my Wiv Chat schedule is an interview planned with Jon Wiseman, the Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club historian extraordinaire. With Jon’s The Story of Wivenhoe Cricket book about to be published during Cricket Week at Rectory Road, this will be a timely recording.

I’m working my way through my hit list of local folk to chat with. Please do volunteer yourself - or others - if you would like to take part in this project.

Taking in the waifs and strays of Wivenhoe, cleaning up cat s***.

They really should erect a blue plaque above our home inscribed with this fine character reference.

Yeah, so @AnnaJCowen and I have a new lady / man in our lives. I don’t really do Facebook, but… it’s awkward.

I’m not sure if we’re sleeping with a boy or a girl, and to be honest, I haven’t had the time for a good look down below to identify exactly what is going off in the kitty gonad department.

But if you are missing a gorgeous white cat around Wivenhoe, s/he is with us right now.

The charming Pet Shop Girls are of course involved - aren’t they always. It was to the very good fortune of White Minstrel (copyright @wivenhoepets) that s/he wandered into the Business Centre early on Saturday morning.

Off all the bars in all the world and you have to place your pretty paws @WivenhoePets, etc. What exactly is wrong with the Black Buoy?

As you would expect, the charming Pet Shop Girls cared for White Minstrel for most of the day. S/he was VERY hungry, and then became rather tired.

It was at this point that @AnnaJCowen and I walked in - also very hungry and rather tired and emotional having attended the ACE opening of the Spanish Paintings exhibition (bloggage to follow, Comrades…)

The problem for the Pet Shop Girls is that they are overrun with cats already on the domestic front. Keeping White Minstrel in store, so to speak, would probably lead to a run on cat food in Wivenhoe. S/he does like a good feed.

Meanwhile, back at base and we are overrun with Murphie, the psychologically unstable little Madam of Wivenhoe, who is also rather adorable. I share my life with two females of this description.

We do have a rather large garden shed however, which offers a safe house overnight for White Minstrel. S/he is currently falling asleep in there, quite content, and with quite a full belly.

We would love to look after White Minstrel for a while longer, but s/he ‘aint ours. Plus little Murphie would be sectioned for the madhouse if another cat came into our home.

SO…

Are you missing a white cat? S/he’s is quite bulky, very friendly and yeah, very hungry. S/he is wearing a black collar with small studs around it. Some small bells are also attached.

Please call into Wivenhoe Pets if you are missing this cat, or if you know of anyone that it might belong to. You can also email me over here.

In the meantime - how exciting: a dual cat household, both of whom are blissfully unaware of each other. I wish human relationships could be like that.

Meowww…

It is a sign of the times when your local police station closes and the local copper turns to twitter. A huge congratulations then to @SgtLouMiddleton, the Neighbourhood Sergeant for the Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Policing Team.

Lou has signed up to the social media platform and instantly opened up his work to the local community. 140 characters is no substitute to visible community policing, something that the good Sgt and his team already carry out around the town.

As Lou’s twitter profile also so rightfully states, twitter isn’t the correct platform in which to contact the police concerning a crime:

“Please don’t report crime here - use 999 if urgent or 0300 3334444.”

Something tells me that Lou has recently completed some form of social media training. His wonderful use of the service over the past week is a textbook example in how to engage with Wivenhoe locals, both online and offline.

All the basic twitter etiquette is in place - hashtags, @replies and returning the follow favour to anyone who shows an interest in the @SgtLouMiddleton account.

But it is the way that Lou has used his twitter account to keep in touch with local people that is twitter perfection personified.

Plus I rather like the way in which the old Nottage building and the Black Buoy have been used as the background image.

On a #hyperlocal level and this is a really significant moment. There is already a growing twitter presence around the town, with local folk using the service to make contact online, and then to organise offline co-operation and activities.

Having a very public figure participating in this process has to be a tremendous step forward. The next move would be to try and encourage all four of our Colchester Borough Councillors to become involved, and hopefully the Wivenhoe Town Councillors as well.

Twitter is all about the network and conversation - who you follow and who follows you. People often ask me who should I follow?

Well…

I’ve made a Wivenhoe list of local people that I am aware of. Please do let me know if you want to be included. My advice is usually to have a look at who I am following, and then see who my followers are following. An offline connection is normally already in place.

As Lou has been demonstrating – twitter is not a broadcast medium: it is a place for conversation and dialogue. This works rather well in Wivenhoe.

And so welcome @SgtLouMiddleton to twitter. Not wanting to go into #hyperlocal hyperbole, but this is a very welcome moment for Wivenhoe. Twitter is only the means to the end - the local conversation that then follows is more significant.

OK, Comrades - so here’s the calling card to signify that THE biggest weekend is almost upon us. I have some grubby fivers stashed away in the arse end of my jeans, a fridge full of Special Brew (blimey) and a weekend away ticket back to the mean streets of South London.

Only joking.

There is something of a mini May Fair fringe weekend, dahhhling, becoming established around Wivenhoe this year. Wilds horses wouldn’t keep me away - or even pneumonia, as is the case for a close friend that is coming to recuperate from a recent run of ill health by taking part in the Wivenhoe Run.

Good luck, fella.

But why wait until Bank Holiday Monday for all the madness to begin? The May Fair Fringe (NOT a haircut and NOT a phrase that you would be wise to repeat at The Station come closing time) starts on Thursday.

Where can you look for the highest cultural delights that can be found within Wivenhoe during a weekend when the whole town looks likely to fall over before the Bank Holiday comes crashing down?

How about some poetry?

Cripes.

Poetry Wivenhoe (or is it poetry wivenhoe, poetrywivenhoe or even poetrywivenhoe? These literary adjustments matter to the wordsmiths, apparently…) are putting on The Joy of Six.

I’ll ‘av a bit of that, thank you very much.

“The Joy of Six offer much more than a traditional poetry reading. Their vibrant multivoice performances blend five very different voices and styles into a seamless, unpredictable whole. Their style has been likened to a great jazz quintet, only with voices.”

Upstairs at The Greyhound, and another grubby fiver on the door should gain you entry on Thursday evening from 8pm.

The good folk of the Bookshop are staging the second of their Unplugged nights on Friday. This doesn’t mean a book reading with no words, but a very, very intimate acoustic performance in the back room across the sofa.

Hot Club / Tub Gitane will be performing, ahead of an appearance at the May Fair itself on the Sunrise Stage:

“The extraordinary Hot Club Gitane are purveyors of Manouche Jazz (Gypsy Jazz), and play an intriguing melange of Hot Club de Paris swing (Django / Grappelli) and French / German cafe standards of the 1930s / 1940s (Edith Piaf / Marlene Dietrich).”

Smells Like Teen spirit ropey covers probably aren’t included in the set. My sources tell me that only a few tickets are remaining, on sale at the Bookshop for the bargain price of a fiver.

But it’s not all about Gypsy Jazz.

Phew - Rock’n Roll and all that, which brings us nicely to Saturday evening and the Moving Image screening of The Runnaways. Billed as “an in-your-face look at teenage life and the rock scene in the 1970′s” - the setting of the Philip Road Centre seems perfect.

Essentially the story of Joan Jett, expect sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. But probably not on the back row of the Philip Road Centre.

Assuming that the pneumatic friend is still standing, then it’s time to sit down once again on Sunday afternoon. Moving Image is staging a double bill, a feat in itself that requires stamina of epic rock ‘n roll proportions.

Separado! and Oil City Confidential are being screened, in a carefully thought out mini May Fair season of films that seems to fit the mood perfectly.

But sometimes you just need to get back to the music, man. Which is why I plan to shoot off down The Station (steady) sometime on Sunday evening to catch the very good Mr Mule and friends performing some Beatles covers.

Ace.

“There is a Beatle-ish gig at The Station Hotel, night before the May Fair. Probably about 8 to 8.30. I must point out here, that this is not MY band per se. It’s a fun occasional project. There are five of us, Roddy, Darryl, Dan, Phil and me. What we do, as we did for one night only last Christmas, is to try and recreate about 20 Beatle songs, from the entire canon, 1963 -1969, as accurately as we can.”

Well shake it on baby now, etc.

Which all leaves the rather minor event of May Fair itself on Monday. The line-up of local artists is impressive. Ady Johnson is the rising star of the Sunny Colch circuit. The former Fuzzface singer looks set for wider recognition, and so now is a good time to catch him in Wivenhoe.

CAV OK are a little more than OK, and Housework are a damn hard working and tight funk rock band. Local lad Lou Terry on the Sunrise Stage should also be put aside as a time to take it easy on the Special Brew and appreciate this incredibly special local talent.

Elsewhere around the site (oh OK - the KGV then…) and you’ll find Moving Image and Transition Town Wivenhoe working together and showing a series of locally produced films, all powered by the Revolutionary Pedal Powered Cinema.

The Open Mic stage is brought to you by the same good folk who have made such a success of late of the Open Mic nights down at the Black Buoy. Any local performers wanting to do a turn (oooh) should sign up from midday when the stage opens.

Stalls of course will be aplenty. Some will be selling ethical, worthy and rather worthless tat, but hey - it’s got to be better than a burger van. Some will be selling wonderful local Wivenhoe produce and deserve your loose change (hellooo Wivenhoe in Bloom.)

Others will be selling booze. You should pitch yer tent up here.

If you still want more (more? MORE?) then I’m sure you can navigate your way around to the back door entrances of the well know watering holes around Wivenhoe. I’ve been told that many will have a local’s only policy later in the evening - which may make it a little inbred, but yeah, I’m up for that as well.

And so that’s the Wivenhoe May Fair fringe weekend. If pulling a sickie at 7am on Tuesday morning is required, consider coming down to the KGV at 10am to help out with the clean up.

Oh yeah - *cough* Bowie, Comrades…