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To the Town Council Offices on a miserable Monday evening. The weather didn’t reflect my mood - who can fail to feel uplifted at the prospect of an hour or so of formal civic discussion?

Mr Mayor, or so it would seem.

An apology of absence (he’s a VERY busy fella, donctha know…) and instead we were under the splendid stewardship of the good Lady Deputy Mayor, Councillor Kraft.

Ruling as the Matriarch of Wivenhoe for the evening, the Lady Deputy Mayor ran a tight ship. It wasn’t quite as tight as her crab line from the day before at down at the Quay, but the bait of WTC mints proved too much for me to resist once again.

First off was the formal business of welcoming the two new Wivenhoe Town Councillors - Cllr Asa Aldis and Cllr Nick Tile. The new blood / bait have very kindly stepped forward and been vigorously interviewed as co-opted Cllrs.

We wish them well.

Correspondence from the public kicked off the conversation. High praise for Wivenhoe in Bloom came from Brian Thomas, noting the co-operation between the local green fingered gardening group and WTC in providing such a wonderful display outside by the Co-op / Jardine / Eyecare Wivenhoe - Bermuda Triangle.

Reports from the local political representatives followed. Cllr Julie Young, Labour’s representative for Colchester on Essex County Council (not THE representative, but not too far off either, Comrades) has had a busy month:

“We held a Scrutiny meeting last week. It was revealed that ECC has an UNDER spend of £480,000 for the previous financial year.”

Woh.

Run that through me once again, Comrade…

An UNDER spend of close to half a cool million. The good Cllr Young is pitching in to try and take £10k of this to spend on new toilets up at Broad Lane. I know a man who will feel quite flushed with that idea.

Cllr Young continued:

“The 20mph zone for lower Wivenhoe is set to come into operation on 25th July.”

Hurrah!

All those flash Tom, Dick and Harry’s racing through the town in their poncey sports cars will hopefully soon be thwarted. Speaking of which:

“We held a Full Council meeting last Tuesday where a motion was passed not to pay the allowance to the disgraced and jailed Lord Hangingfield, the former Leader of Essex County Council.”

This matter is NOT related to the £480,000 UNDER spend, I understand.

Cllr Young was keen to put on the record that she personally doesn’t take any freebie foreign trips that may come her way as part of the political cut and thrust. That’s what the 74 bus is for, Comrades.

With the Red Flag still flying over the Town Council Offices, the charming Cllr Steve Ford, Labour’s man down in the Quay ward at Colchester Borough Council, was next to update the meeting:

“Colchester Borough Council has now divided up the street service zones. What this means is that St Anne’s, Greenstead and Wivenhoe now has a dedicated team of three street wardens to look after waste issues, etc.”

Which is just as well, seeing as though confusion still surrounds the cutting back of refuse collection from a five day a week to a four days service throughout the Borough:

“A few teething problems have been reported to me in Wivenhoe. Some residents have complained that the rubbish hasn’t been collected by 3pm on Wednesdays, the new day for most of lower Wivenhoe. It may be that 5pm is now the latest that the bins will be collected in the Borough.”

Um, rubbish!

At least it means an end to that early morning 7am hike out in the jim jams to separate the leftovers from the curry incident from the night before.

On planning matters, Cllr Ford added:

“An application has now been submitted to knock down the old St John’s Ambulance building on Chapel Road, and then to build a new one bedroom / one studio facility. Questions need to be asked if this will actually enhance the existing structures on the street.”

Indeed they will. And indeed they were, later on in the meeting. This also leads to the presumption (NEVER presume, Jase) that the land has been secured by the private bidder, rather than the local group that was trying to purchase the property for community use.

Finally Cllr Ford got in flap over foliage. And quite rightly so:

“I am concerned that a lot of branches and bushes from gardens are being let to overgrow onto the street. These can be a hazard to elderly folk walking around the town. I would ask for all residents to take a responsible approach.”

Hear, hear *cough* lower end of Park Road…

With the business of the Borough and County Cllr’s covered (no Love Me I’m a Liberal lot this month; some scribbled notes came our way from the True Blue Cllr Quarrie) and then it was on to WTC Planning matters.

A date of 4th August has been set to bash the heads together between all thirteen WTC Cllr’s and our four CBC representatives in the two town wards. Nothing to do with political posturing, but simply an issue of co-operation when it comes to divvying up the dirty dosh that is Section 106 wonga.

This is basically a legal back hander when corporate organisations such as the University, or Taylor Wimpey, want to roll out its latest development. You scratch my back, we’ll close Clingoe Hill for a month, build private residential property and cover it up all in the name of International Conflict Resolution.

Cripes.

Previously the brown envelopes have been very a much a north and south issue, allocated on a boundary basis to either the Cross or Quay wards. The joined up thinking now is for co-operation to see where in Wivenhoe the money can best be best allocated.

Which all sounds like the best outcome for what can be a very underhand business.

Which brings us nicely to Cook’s Shipyard. The good Cllr Sinclair has been going through the (as yet unsigned) lease with all the dedication of a man that is as financially frugal as he is friendly.

“It appears that the supply of electricity and water down in the dry dock is something that WTC is expected to not only provide, but also to pay for. We need to consider this…”

But for all the talk of developments rolling out faster than the delayed 9:23 to Liverpool Street, it was a return to one particular piece of planning that still appears to be slightly off the rails:

The proposed new Health Centre.

Cripes.

Mr Mayor has held a “constructive” phone conversation with Bernard Jenkin, the MP for Harwich and North Essex. Yer man Bernie wanted some finer local Wivenhoe details ahead of a meeting about the delayed facility.

Here’s hoping Wivenhoe is still in good health.

But failing that, then there’s always the final resting place of the cemetery along Rectory Road. It’s not quite the Plan B for the Health Centre confusion, but rest easy, coffin dodgers - a Plan C is in place.

Put bluntly, WTC is running rather short on burial space. That’s what happens when a town is allowed to expand from a population of 2,000 to 10,000 over a twenty-five year period [said the Wivenhoe newcomer. Arf.]

The solution from WTC is to stack ‘em up high. The meeting was shown some pictures of what can best be described as a high rise for stiffs. Costing £4,725, the lofty structure allows sixteen individual ashes to be contained within.

It gives a new meaning to the phrase Ashes to Ashes.

In the blink of a heartbeat (steady) and WTC unanimously agreed to purchase the tower block for the dearly departed. To his credit, Cllr Read noted concern that the high rise should be made more personal.

Back in the land of the living and the William Loveless Hall Working Party reported back on grand plans to add a permanent backdrop to the stage. A local artist has been approached [sorry - didn't catch your name] and has returned with a truly splendid design to be put in place.

The artwork catches the view from Anchor Hill looking up. The Tudor Tea Rooms and On the Corner Cafe even get a nice little bit of free advertising. The painting really is rather good [said he with a CSE Grade 3 in Art.]

WTC formally passed the motion commission the full-scale painting. A backdrop will also be provided, for use when local groups need a more neutral background for various productions.

The Estates Working Party confirmed the date of 27th August for a 2pm unveiling for a much welcome plaque for Joan Hickson. This will be formally unveiled on Rose Lane, the site of the former actress’ home address.

Wivenhoe Woods Working Party reported back on a recent successful clearing of Ferry Marsh, with six new volunteers very kindly giving up their evening. It was noted that the mid-week scheduling of this event seems to be staged at a more convenient time.

Mr Mayor provided a written statement of his formal duties over the past month. These included a rare victory for the Mayor’s cricket team over Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club. It was claimed this was a first in living memory.

Still waiting in the wings - possibly with the intention of simply correcting the record - and Cllr Ford corrected the minutes by stating that the WTC team also triumphed during his period of Mayoral civic service.

Mayor Needham also reported that he had:

“Recorded a broadcast of Wiv Chat for Radio Wivenhoe.”

Well I never.

On to more serious matters with Community Safety and Police. Three matters were reported back to WTC:

(i) Lorries accessing Cook’s shipyard continue to break the restrictions governing their route down to the Quay. Part of the stipulation is that there is a 9am curfew. Any local resident who witness a breach of this is encouraged to take down the registration and report it.

(ii) The recent crime figures for Wivenhoe would appear to show that crime is actually on the increase. Don’t have nightmares - it seems that more crimes are being reported, hence the spike in crime stats.

(iii) Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Watch has been formally approached by Colchester Neighbourhood Watch to merge. This approach was politely turned down. Long live localism.

Meanwhile, in North Essex Estuary Boating News [didn't get the full name of the specific committee] and this is rather interesting: Brightlingsea Harbour has ambitions to run a new ferry service, running along the estuary route of Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe, Rowehedge and the Hythe.

This is not seen as a threat to the existing (and most excellent) Wivenhoe, Fingringhoe and Rowhedge Ferry - the Brightlingsea Harbour boys want to work together with the current crew. European funding is currently being sourced.

The fine Town Clerk then reported of repairs having been carried out to the damaged basketball court. A vandalised bench has also been repaired.

Finance noted the formal name change of the Mayor’s Charity Fund to the Mayor’s Appeal Fund. No charitable status, yet no less worthy.

And then finally Highways heard how the Paget Road railway crossing is going to be closed as from 26th July for an unspecified period whilst maintenance is carried out. Which should at least save half a dozen wandering cats.

The meeting then cleared the public gallery (um, the good Cllr Ford, his son and myself) to discuss some business in private. No worries. With a chaperone of smiling Steve to see me safely back to base, we talked about them, as they no doubt talked about us.

Only joking.

Se ya next month, Comrades.

To the Town Council Offices on Monday evening for an eve of Solstice pagan sacrifice, aka as a Wivenhoe Town Council monthly meeting. Peace, love and understanding were in the estuary air, and so was a Conservative Borough Councillor.

Cripes.

Suited and booted (me, not the Conservative Borough Councillor) and arriving fashionably late as ever, it was standing room only around the top civic table. I perched my backside strategically on the edge of the Press table, sitting on the fence and waiting to hear all about parking problems and dog pooh.

Eleven fine members of the public were left scrambling for seats for THE hot ticket in town that night. Bell ringing practice in Wivenhoe is on Wednesdays, Comrades.

Joining the Little People was a rare and welcome appearance from LibDem Councillor Manning of the Cross ward, Conservative Councillor Quarrie of the Quay and the ever present, ever smiling Councillor Ford, Labour’s red flag waving #workingforwivenhoe Comrade also from the Quay.

It’s not quite Never the Twain, but the political hot potato that was on everyone’s lips was when the chuffers will the Borough Councillors get it on with the Town Councillors?

Concern has been expressed by the UNPAID Town Councillors that communication with the big boys and girls of the Borough is not flowing quite as frequently as perhaps it should.

With Section 106 wonga floating around in Wivenhoe - a classic you scratch my back brown envelope time - the Town Councillors want to make sure that Borough Councillors are singing from the same St Mary’s Wivenhoe hymn sheet.

“Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always.”

And whilst yer at it, let’s chuck some cash from the Cook’s payback fund on a much needed new zebra crossing outside of the Co-op, Comrades.

It’s a fun filled life being a Borough Councillor. Sacrifices have to be made, and we’re not talking about the Solstice shindig on the muddy banks of the Colne either. Friday night has been put aside as a possible timeslot when Never the Twain will divvy up the local dosh.

Phew, rock ‘n roll.

A bit of local admin, and then we were straight in with Reports from the Borough and County Councillors.

It’s all about accountability, I tell ya…

Councillor Young, Labour’s representative on Essex County Council (seriously) was unavailable, but had kindly submitted a written report:

“New ways of working with Highways should make it easier for 20mph zones to be introduced around both schools in Wivenhoe. I have been in constant dialogue with Tracy Chapman, the Highways advisor on this.”

Hurrah!

Hang on - Tracy Chapman? 20mph? Talk about a Fast Car, etc.

Sticking with the #workingforwivenhoe Comrades, and Councillor Ford of the Quay was next to address the meeting:

“I called in the planning application for Rectory Hill. I was unhappy with the visibility of the approach, and the drainage. Highways are happy with the visibility, and I have been advised that the drainage concerns are a civil matter.

My concern about the limited parking space was upheld. The developer has hastily added in four extra parking spaces. The planning application has now been passed.”

Up towards the Cross ward and our two LibDem representatives have also been busy with congestion. A rare absence from Councillor Cory (pressing matters on the Policy Panel) but a written submission instead:

“I have been pressing the University about fixing a date for the Clingoe Hill closure ahead of the start of the Knowledge Gateway development. This has now been moved to the start of the summer holidays, to try and limit the congestion. I still expect we will have one - two weeks of aggravation.”

And then some.

Defying the #workingforwivenhoe election period claims that *ahem* “no LibDems are in Wivenhoe,” the Love Me I’m a Liberal lot then had safety in numbers with Councillor Manning of the Cross ward offering up his report to the Town Council:

“I am now sitting on the Planning Committee at Colchester Borough Council. NOTHING will get through.”

Cripes.

“I also have a new notebook to keep track of all the potholes that continue to appear.”

Yeah, and possibly a pitch to become a Glum Councillor as well.

Fine work, though fella.

It’s not quite a case of shuffling the deckchairs on the Titanic, but Conservative Councillor Quarrie of the Quay reported:

“I have been moved off Planning and now sit on Licensing.”

Which must be bad news for the 24/7 nightclub that I had planned for the Quay.

“Parking around the Cook’s development remains a key issue. The road has yet to be adopted by the County Council, which causes problems when we are trying to police it.”

Eight years and counting, my good Councillor…

Also giving cause for concern is the re-routing of the 74 bus route. Peter Kay, the Public Transport Representative explained how First Group, the current franchise operator, has sneakily slipped in a new route, which completely bypasses the town, turning off for Clacton instead.

“How ridiculous,” commented Councillor Kraft. She wasn’t alone in her observations and a polite, but purposeful letter is probably being penned from WTC right now.

The concern is that the move has been poorly advertised. Yoof may catch the bus, expecting a journey into Wivenhoe. With the sudden turn off, they could be out of town and out of funds as they speed off for an impromptu away day at the seaside.

A lengthy conversation then followed about the 20mph zone along the railway bridge at the bottom of the town. I became completely lost; I wasn’t alone.

Speaking in relation to transport matters, Peter Kay then posed the question:

“What does Wivenhoe Town Council propose to do about the annual nonsense that is the Wivenhoe May Fair?”

Cripes.

Awkward.

Having had this curveball thrown at him from across the civic chamber, Mayor Needham composed himself and offered up the reply that the May Fair Committee are working with WTC on future solutions.

Moving on…

Perhaps a bit of Planning to get the party back on track? Former Councillors Liddy and Purdey have been granted special powers (oooh!) to continue the fine work that they have started in representing WTC when it comes to all things Cook’s.

As for that old family favourite of the planned new Wivenhoe Surgery? Councillor Lodge updated with news that the deal is “far from dead.” The PCT has put the plan to the Doctor’s at the old surgery to see if they want to move forward.

Having a pre-defined national NHS policy as a framework in which to make these decisions would be nice.

Hey hoe.

In WTC Personnel news - THIS JUST IN: New litter picker James has impressed so much that he has been awarded a permanent position after the successful completion of his trial.

Hurrah!

Handling the aftermath of May Fair must have been a stern test, and one that James handled magnificently.

Onto the best bit - the Best Value Committee (aka secretly as the pre-WTC prepping meet where the real Council business is decided - behind closes doors - or so the suggestion has been made to me…)

Anyone been to Stanway of late? Apart from offering up a most splendid jazz club, my knowledge of our Colchester near neighbours is somewhat limited. This is all about to change, with WTC proposing to adopt the Stanway system of committees for local governance. The buggers better have the ACE Working Woods Party.

Back to Wivenhoe however, and in a turkeys voting for Christmas move, WTC agreed unanimously to foot the bill to pay for Mayoral badges for ex-Mayor’s.

Mmm…

It’s a badge of honour, and probably on balance one that is a worthy memento for the UNPAID work of Wivenhoe Town Councillors during their hectic year of civil service.

A slight shuffle along the press bench, and it was here that I made my strategic switch to *shhh* the Conservative hot seat.

Cripes.

All the best parties finally kick into action as the night closes in, and as the public chamber emptied and m’Conservative friend departed to ponder why Wivenhoe still hasn’t got a new surgery under the inspiring leadership of the Coalition, I played musical chairs.

Mr Mayor updated WTC about his activities, in what has been a very busy first month in office:

“I have attended sixteen formal events in the past month. The highlights included visiting Wivenhoe Youth Hub [ditto] the parade of the 16 Air Assault Brigade through Colchester, the opening of the *shhh* Quiet Garden at Broomgove Shcool and the Helping Hands AGM.”

Pleased to report that Helping Hands appears to be in sound financial hands, thanks to some very generous donations locally.

Five points then came out of the Community Safety feedback:

(i) Inconsiderate parking remains an issue (even though WTC, after taking police advice, decided not to implement a considerate parking scheme within the town…)

(ii) The local crime figures are low. A slight increase in burglary however has been recorded. The police have suggested that this is possibly a local gang, with laptops and TV’s being the main items going missing.

(iii) Traffic routes to Cook’s Shipyard have deviated.

Eh?

It appears that companies that don’t take the designated route down Valley Road are in danger of losing their contracts. Keep yer eyes peeled around *cough* Queens Road, Comrades.

(iv) Ball games by the Medway are showing some signs for concerns. Elder kids are getting slightly enthusiastic, with the balls entering into the road.

(v) And finally Speed Watch - this is now being rolled out during the school run hours, with a focus upon Bobbitt’s Way and Elmstead Road.

A brief break for the passing around the chamber of the official civic spearmints (receipts available for inspection on request) and then whaddya know - apt timing and Finance.

Quotes are being sourced for a possible asbestos survey for the William Loveless Hall toilets. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it, etc.

In Correspondence news and an appeal for support from WTC for the emerging Radio Wivenhoe group has been received. This is not necessarily financial, but an endorsement.

Granted, with Mr Mayor proudly declaring:

“This is a positive feature for Wivenhoe. It is an aid for further communication and helps to promote the town. We earnestly support Radio Wivenhoe.”

Splendid.

Someone should sign that man up for a guest spot on Wiv Chat.

Oh, hang on…

A rallying call then went out for players to take part in the annual Town Cricket Match on the evening of 13th July at Rectory Road. The official civic quotation that came out on the evening is:

“WE WANT TO WACK THEM.”

Cripes.

Any Other Business?

With the Ten Acres development looking likely to start soon, a new access road will be in place within Wivenhoe. Peter Hill has formally suggested naming this in memory of Dr Ted Palmer.

Plus no WTC meeting can be complete without the perennial Engine Shed rumour.

HONK!!!!

Massive rumour alert: minuted, but not necessarily economical with the truth, the continual pub gossip of the old Engine Shed being bought up by a developer wrapped up the meeting.

Any views?

A stunned silence filled the chamber.

Time for that pagan sacrifice in the Network Rail car park, Comrades?

To the Town Council office on Monday evening for the monthly meeting of the Wivenhoe Town Council.

Cripes.

Relax, m’South London Comrades - WTC is largely apolitical, comprising of locally elected representatives who have the best interests of the town at heart.

Unlike, um…

Democracy and representation appears to be alive and well within Wivenhoe. Eight of our fine councillors were in attendance, with apologies from the absent three.

Perhaps even more poignant was the appearance of seven locals in the public galley (random chairs scattered around the room) and a couple of local Colchester Borough Councillors to provide updates for their patch.

This was the first meeting of WTC since the blatant act of vandalism by the Environment Agency on the vegetatation of the banks of the Colne. Mr Mayor, Brian Sinclair, was aware of the public interest and moved this item to the top of the agenda.

Mr Mayor, explaining the position of WTC on the Colne clearance, read out a brief statement:

“We have had lots of phone calls and conversations since the work started. Wivenhoe Town Council empathises with the feelings of residents who are deeply angered and upset with the Environment Agency.

We were aware that the work was planned, but no actual start date was given. Local information was limited to A4 sized posters appearing by the site. We have made enquiries with the Environment Agency about the work. This is part of a national policy.

If any residents which to take the matter further, we have provided some information slips [reproduced below...] There is nothing else that we can do as a town council - we have done all that we can.”

The welcome information slip states:

Dear Resident,

WTC are aware and concerned about the distress caused by the rapid clearance of the sea walls. We are unable to stop this national policy but if you width to complain to the EA, the contact is 01473 706 100, [email protected]

A quick click and a rational email explaining your concerns, and hopefully the strength of local opposition regarding the destruction of our natural beauty will be registered.

But for some within the meeting, the statement from WTC didn’t go far enough. Up stepped a local resident to address the council, and to explain some revealing background information that has emerged through dealing with the EA staff on site.

“The notices put up by the EA were not specific to Wivenhoe. The same notices have been posted at scores of places all over East Anglia. In the case of Wivenhoe the reasons offered by the EA for the vegetation clearance turn out to be spurious. There’s no problem with rabbits, and the supposedly troublesome roots are still in the ground. There’s no problem with inspections – the inspectors have already graded the different sections of the seawall, in drawing up the Shoreline Management Plan. And there’s no risk to people and property upriver – that’s what the Barrier is for, to protect us from a repeat of the 1953 flood tide – and downriver, the possible future flooding of the grazing marsh has already been planned for, as part of the policy of managed retreat.

So, what’s the real reason for the vegetation clearance?

Nick Purdie [EA official] says: Our ultimate aim is to reduce all the vegetation to short grass – even long grasses are a problem because they mask bare earth - and it’s ‘bare earth’ which makes seawalls vulnerable in the event of over-topping by a tidal surge.

So this policy is all about planning for a worst-case scenario – which may be fine when there’s a risk to people and property – but doesn’t make sense downriver, in the event of a major flood, when flooding the grazing marsh would actually be necessary to absorb the pressure of the tide.

Mr Purdie also stressed how serious they are about achieving this objective of reducing the flora on seawalls to a monoculture. They’re currently experimenting at specific locations in Alresford, Brightlingsea and elsewhere with intensive regimes of repeated cutting: twice or three times a year. And they’re developing new technologies to do this, pioneering mechanical strimmers attached to diggers, which can do the job better than humans.

There’s a lot of controversy throughout East Anglia surrounding the Environment Agency’s policy on flood defences, (mainly to do with coastal erosion and managed retreat). One of the main complaints is the Agency’s repeated failure to notify and consult. Local Essex and Suffolk MPs like Therese Coffey (Suffolk Coastal) John Whittingdale (Maldon) and Priti Patel (Witham) are well aware of this. I think it’s worth people writing, if they feel strongly about this, to Bernard Jenkin.

Our case is a strong one:

It’s about the democratic deficit – the shocking lack of consultation.

It’s about bureaucratic arrogance – the policy being applied to Wivenhoe is inappropriate and incoherent.

And it’s about cost. The EA are spending £750,000 on this.

Where people and property are not at risk, it’s the needs of local residents and wildlife which should take precedence over the schemes of bureaucrats.”

Blimey.

This was a damning report to WTC, delivered with great passion and eloquence. It appears too late for any action to prevent this first wave of destruction. I would wager that the Environment Agency is not in for such an easy ride when they next return to the banks of the Colne, bent on yet further environmental destruction.

In support of WTC, Mr Mayor recognised the concerns of the local resident, and asked for a copy of the fine speech to fully take on the local concerns.

The rest of the WTC meeting was always then going to be routine, if indeed debate about Cook’s, the Wivenhoe Woodwork Party and Mr Mayor’s stolen civic bicycle (blimey) can ever be described as routine.

But first, here are some words from the big boys and girls of Colchester Borough Council. I rather liked the approach of Wivenhoe residents having speaking rights ahead of our CBC friends.

Councillor Cory of Wivenhoe Cross ward addressed the meeting first:

“I have mainly been dealing with parking complaints. Students are usually to blame. I approach this problem methodologically. If cars are parked illegally then I contact the police. If it is inconsiderate parking then I attach a small flyer.

Potholes [aha!] are currently the bain of my life. The large hole by The Flag has now been filled in. Sadly it has now opened up again. I will keep on reporting this to Highways until it is fixed. I have asked why the CBC gritting policy doesn’t include estates and pavements.

There was an ASBO issue in my ward. I have been working closely with PCSO Neville, who has carried out some wonderful work to help resolve this. There are some drainage issues up towards Broomgrove. Anglia Water has been informed.”

Taking a walk downtown (and depending on your geographical point of view, either going upmarket or slumming it…) and next up was Councillor Quarrie of Wivenhoe Quay ward:

“We have just had the full budget meeting at CBC. We [the Conservative group] wanted to reduce the annual £150,000 funding for local councils. Sadly this was voted out.”

A written report from Councillor Julie Young of Essex County Council (so many layers of the political onion to peel away here in Wivenhoe) was then read out by Mr Mayor:

“With the failure of the pedestrian crossing by the Co-op to reach any conclusion, I have successfully lobbied for a new bus shelter to be built with the funds.

I am happy to report that no libraries will be closing in Essex. There will be reduced opening hours for some libraries, although Wivenhoe doesn’t appear to be affected.

The transport subsidy for parents whose children attend Faith schools will be reduced. This will impact on Wivenhoe parents who send their children to the Catholic school in Colchester. Families on low income will still receive support.

The full budget for Essex County Council is being set this week. Women’s Refuge and Alcoholics Anonymous look like having funding being withdrawn. We are making slow progress [arf!] with the 20mph speed zone for Wivenhoe.”

With the WTC meeting now racing through the agenda, hopes were high of catching the second half of the West Ham match back at base. Feedback was then provided on the various sub-committees that comprise WTC. You’d be hard pressed to find a better named committee anywhere in the land that can compete with out very own Wivenhoe Woodwork Party - oh yes…

A report on public transport produced great excitement (steady the buffers) with news of the new bus stops in Colchester. Amazingly the Wivenhoe bus stops are actually correct for once.

Questions were raised about whom is liasing with the fine May Fair folk regarding the traffic flow on the big day. Mr Mayor confirmed that a meeting is planned for later this week.

Other transport issues were then discussed, but sadly the Fog of Politics got in the way. A bit of CBC politico gossiping between our borough council friends in-between WTC contributions, and I couldn’t catch all of the details (transport matters - *not* CBC chitter chatter.)

No worries. On to Planning.

Oh Lordy…

Councillor Cyril Liddy updated WTC with recent applications. Changes to the front of the Royal British Legion have been submitted (supported by the good folk of WivSoc) as well as “various miscellaneous domestic applications.”

Of greater interest however is the continuing saga of Cook’s Shipyard. Councillor Liddy confirmed:

“The developer is now ready to move forward and wants to know when we can sign the lease. This is in the hands of the solicitors - we’re not actually ready yet.”

It seems that the developer has made a change to the original planning application regarding the five polyfunctional [urgh!] units. A change of use from A1 to A3 has been put forward. CBC has no objections. Once again the Fog of Politics prevented me from hearing further.

The Personnel Committee confirmed that WTC’s wonderful litter picker, Ray, has announced his plans for a well-deserved retirement. Mr Mayor praised Ray and his work with the highest regard, adding, “he will be impossible to replace.”

Hear, hear. It seems that everywhere I go around the town, Ray is always present. Has this man be cloned?

The Finance and Admin Committee reported that the WTC budget has been re-affirmed. Speaking of penny-pinching, with the imminent move of our local police team to the fire station, it was also confirmed that the WTC policy is to try and keep the old buildings in public use. Discussions are taking place as to how WTC can acquire them.

The Best Value Committee (not quite the best committee title, but close…) reported on the plan for WTC to purchase some basic IT equipment for planning purposes. This will allow submissions to be projected on to the wall, rather than shuffling around paper copies.

Still with us?

It was around this stage of the evening that I was in need of a comfort break. And with perfect timing, it’s only an update from the Working Party on the refurbishment of the ladies loos at the William Loveless Hall.

Oh Lordy.

Pleased to report that the marbled halls of female sanitary (um…) are on time and budget. A grand opening is expected in time for Mr Mayor’s Charity Ball next month. Hurrah!

Trumping the Best Value and the toilet updates was of course the Wivenhoe Woodwork Party. Nope - not a late night carpentry lock in at The Station, but valuable updates regarding the upkeep of Wivenhoe Wood. The bark (ouch) is worse than the bite - all is well within Wivenhoe Wood.

It was then wonderful to hear the highest praise coming the way of Wivenhoe youth facilities, and in particular, the re-launched Hub down at the Phillip Road Centre.

Tuesday evenings were reported as being a tremendous success. WTC credited the individuals involved, for growing such a fantastic facility out of so few resources. It was also noted on record how pleased WTC is to see a return of the Wivenhoe Youth Council. Mr Mayor is keen to involve this body in more formal visits to the Town Council offices.

A request has been from members of the Hub to extend the skateboard facilities at KGV. This is currently being considered by WTC.

Community Safety reported that crime in Wivenhoe is currently on the up.

Wwwwwwhat…?

Sleep safely at night my friends - all crime is bad crime, but don’t believe the hard data. Mr Mayor’s proud civic bicycle (re-cycled from a council skip, donchta know….) was only half-inched right outside The Greyhound.

The Scoundrels!

Councillor Penny Kraft fed back on the latest NAP meeting - more (much more over here...)

Finance then reported on the sale of some chairs from the William Loveless Hall. I think this is Dave’s #bigsociety in action, right on our Wivenhoe doorstep.

On Administration matters, plans are pressing ahead to abolish the Cross and Quay distinctions for WTC matters. This will not affect the CBC wards. With an increased workload, the plan is also to raise the number of (unpaid) WTC councillor’s from eleven to thirteen.

Did someone say an election is around the corner…?

And finally, back to Highways, which always seems to be something of a hot potato around Wivenhoe. Elmstead Road is due to close for essential gasworks for a period of five weeks. This will cover roughly the stretch from The Flag up to the football club.

The advance planning and publicity by the gas utility was praised by WTC as an example of how outside agencies *can* work successfully in partnership with local representatives and residents.

I think that’s the nearest that WTC will come to having a dig at the Environment Agency. Meanwhile, the diggers down at the Colne edge ever closer towards the old Crab ‘n Winkle line…