Royal London One-Day Cup, Kia Oval, Surrey 328-7 (50 overs): Roy 99, Sangakkara 76, Burns 61 Worcestershire 292 (46.4 overs): Fell 63, S Curran 3-49, Surrey won by 36 runs
To The Oval! …mid-afternoon-ish on Tuesday for my FAVE form of the bat and ball game.
50 overs is the Nu Pro 40, which itself was briefly the Nu t20 for a casual flirtation one summer whilst the ECB tried to market the arse out of it before killing it off.
I LOVE this form of the game.
t20 may have the SEXINESS of a pack of three ribbed dobbers, but I’l never forget that look I received when I turned up at The Oval with a pack of Lidl 12 feather tipped.
I might get to use them one day.
But sometimes household chores are on par with the SEXINESS of 50 over cricket. My mid-afternoon-ish delayed arrival at The Oval was down to the bloody hoovering.
Housework stopped play, meaning that Surrey were already racing ahead on 95-1 when I took up my seat with the rest of the Peter May pissheads.
This was a strategic shift from the stiffs up in the top tier of the pavilion, down to the oiks on the soak in the Peter May.
News had filtered through whilst I was doing the Dyson thing that this summer is to be the final stand of the Peter May pissheads.
The grandees at The Oval have deemed the stand redundant. The scene of some of the most outrageous South London piss ups will close come the end of the season, replaced no doubt by some sterile corporate construction.
I was determined to LIVE THE DREAM for one final time, and so set up shop with the Lidl cheapo booze and dobbers in the Peter May.
One half of my best value purchase was cleaned up before stumps; one half remains unopened.
I stayed sober long enough to see J-Roy race to an impressive 50. Sangakarra soon followed off only 51 balls.
A killer catch from Mitchell saw Sangakarra walk back in the hutch on 76 on what could be his final appearance for the ‘rrey this summer.
The Peter May was starting to fill up late afternoon as the early work skivers put in a sheepish appearance.
I’m not sure if I applaud their ability to swing the lead, or want to damn the office boys for propping up a fag end dichotomy of late capitalism.
I opened another can of Lidl imitation Stella to contemplate the question. I turned around to see a Surrey old boy sneak a crafty swig from a hip flask.
Betcha he has the same post-Fordist contemplations about cricket as me.
Well batted, fella.
Just like Rory Burns, who wasn’t swigging away, but batting his way to a fine 61 off 50 balls.
#AnsariWatch soon followed. Blink and you’ll miss it, etc with a most unfortunate run out.
The same fate fell for Burke, and then a hat trick of ‘rrey runs out was complete when Wilson went for 34.
The Surrey scoreboard then displayed the fine names of Curran T and Curran S at the crease together.
Awww…
The ‘rrey finished on 328, a score that would hopefully be sufficient to see them through to the quarters of the 50 over format of the game.
My dedication to the match stats for the Worcestershire innings wasn’t quite so detailed. Put simply - I was on a date.
Blimey.
My mystery cricket / Lidl condom lover turned up just as the away openers strode out to the crease.
Apologies, but personal gratification got in the way of the bat and ball game.
I think that it went all right - both in terms of cricket and condoms. The small talk was centred around which Surrey players attracted the largest number of autograph hunters.
Who said that romance was dead?
It’s not a beauty contest, but Sangakkara did the business over Dernbach.
It wasn’t a good sign for all of the romance stuff that we both then felt a chill. We made the move to the pavilion, and then saw out the final overs of the game like a couple seeing out their final years together in a retirement home.
Surrey bowled out Worcestershire, and I asked if it was time for bed.
The condoms remained unopened.
