To The Globe! …on Saturday afternoon for a Jacobean Rom Com with an Egyptian death wish. You won’t find that staying indoors watching Channel 4 repeats.

You probably also won’t find any considered theatrical review in the twaddle that follows below.

Anthony and Cleopatra confused me. Not in a negative way, but I admit to giving up on the plot about half an hour in. It didn’t help that I arrived fashionably late. It didn’t help that I thought I was watching Julius Caesar for the first half hour.

Whoops.

No worries. I have so many wonderful memories of watching Shakespeare down at Bankside. I know that it’s all about the artistic interpretation, dahhhling, but I’m halfway to blubbing my eyes out just standing within the magnificent Wooden O and being swept away by the occasion.

Anthony and Cleopatra was quite a remarkable production when you consider that Anthony was AWOL. Illness led to a stand in, script in hand, yet still convincing as the man struggling to balance his political power with his love life.

War, marriage and death - all were achieved with one hand holding the script, yet to still maintaining eye contact and interaction with all around him.

It was slightly postmodern watching an Egyptian story being acted out in traditional Elizabethan costume on a central London stage in 2014. Plus add in Phil Daniels to the cast and you’re left with a play in which you don’t know where to look next.

I’m amazed that the stand in Anthony still managed to keep it all together.

The introduction of the male eunuch confused me even more. I was left with my tail between my legs when I tried to google the plot during a particularly quiet part of the play, only to receive a tut tut from a female eunuch standing next to me.

Madam!

The piss up in an Elizabethan brewery scene coincided with the first downfall of rain. The incense that has been burning throughout took on an eau de stinky bottom flavour.

Glitter greeted the wedding scene to close the first Act. A goat was then sacrificed on the Globe stage during the interval.

Act II carried on with all the conflict - both political and personal. The sun came back out over Bankside, just as the two main characters decided to commit suicide.

Every cloud, etc.

And so another Globe memory to add to the decade or so of internal plots and productions all stored away. I can recall every production, if not the story.

Hey nonny nonny.