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And so here’s the second in the series for Wivenhoe Wittertainment. Being welcomed into the studio / come kitchen once again is Moira from Moving Image, to reflect upon the past month for the independent community cinema for the area, and to offer up an exclusive [get you] for the April schedule ahead.

As a brief recap, Moving Image is a volunteer led independent cinema that operates out of the Philip Road Centre in Wivenhoe. Weekly screenings take place on a Saturday evening, with occasional family themed films on a Sunday. The ethos is very much on community - local folk putting on the show, and helping to create an appreciation of film within the area.

As has been *ahem* observed - these are indeed the Golden Days for Moving Image. If you judge the success rate of an organisation by how many bums are being put on seats, Moving Image is sitting quite comfortable with some close on sell out shows since Christmas.

This is something that we reflect upon in the recording below, discussing the delicate balancing act of reaching out to the mainstream, yet still being able to offer something slightly different (and considerably cheaper) than the Odeon in Colchester.

Moira also explains more about the Big Society (aha!) application for a new projector for Moving Image. The first round of hoops to be jumped through has been successfully navigated. The next process is to fill out more forms and convince Dave and his pals that Moving Image is genuinely working for the wider community.

As for the schedule looking ahead for April?

Once again it is a cracker of a season, covering everything from Woody Allen to The Muppets. This is a schedule that you are unlikely to see at a multiplex near you:

Zelig 21st April

The Muppets 22nd April

Deep Blue Sea 28th April

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo 5th May

The Artist 12th May

Young Adult 19th May

Screening The Artist is something that Moving Image has wanted to do, ever since the silent film cleaned up at The Oscars. The black and white imagery and the music only audio should lend itself in a rather special way to the demands of the Philip Road Centre.

All films start at 8pm, apart from The Muppets which has a 3pm start time. Admission is £4.50 for members, £6 otherwise. Annual membership for Moving Image costs only £10.

Many thanks to Moira for once again offering the chance to catch up. You can follow @wivmovingimage on Twitter, or simply head down to the Philip Road Centre on a Saturday evening to how special independent community cinema can actually be.

listen to ‘#Wivenhoe #Wittertainment with @wivmovingimage’ on Audioboo

To the Town Council Office! …on Monday evening for the monthly meeting of Wivenhoe Town Council. Beware the Ides of March, beware what waits you behind the doorstep on the election campaign, Comrades.

The joys of spring delivers local election literature, with a single seat up for grabs at Colchester Borough Council for both the Quay and Cross wards. No coincidence that none of the four Borough Council representatives for Wivenhoe were present. Those cut ‘n paste election leaflets don’t writes themselves, y’know…

Speaking of elections and it may be that Wivenhoe will be going to the polls [steady] to elect a new Town Councillor. Cllr Jennifer Campbell informed the Monday meeting via letter of her decision to stand down with immediate effect. With both work and study commitments to fulfill, the unpaid and voluntary role of a Wivenhoe Town Cllr clashed.

And so with an empty seat around the Town Hall chamber, the search is on to find some fresh talent / make up the numbers. Candidates seem to be short to step forward for election, not so for the co-opted option.

Walk this way…

Which is exactly what local resident Tim Sherwen did, addressing the meeting on Monday in his capacity as a Trustee of the Wivenhoe Community Trust. The registered charity has the aims of preserving local community facilities for the use of local residents. Folk around the town are no doubt aware of a little hyperlocal tension surrounding the St John’s Ambulance Building along Chapel Road.

Oh Lordy…

Tim told the councillors:

“I have come here this evening hoping to hear the councillors support the plans to turn the building into a community centre. It is likely that the Colchester Borough Council Planning Committee will be making a decision on the proposal to demolish the building next week [confirmed: 29th March.] I ask Wivenhoe Town Council to forward any documentation to Colchester Borough Council ASAP.”

Mayor Needham replied:

“Wivenhoe Town Council recognises the value of community facilities in Wivenhoe and we want to see them preserved.”

Any doubts concerning which way WTC leans, so to speak, with regards this little hyperlocal tensions were made plain clear later on in the meeting…

But for now, what of the Reports from County and Borough Councillor’s?

Um…

Fine work from Cllr Julie Young of Essex County Council, who in her absence submitted a written report:

“I am still trying to get a local person or organisation interested in taking over the running of the Quayside Cafe. The University has confirmed that it will retain toilet facilities when the cafe closes at the end of term.

I am due to visit residents along Alresford Road to try and come up with a solution for a safer crossing outside Millfields School.”

No written reports from the four Borough councillors. That time of the month, Comrades.

The meeting then went straight into Planning matters. Any keen student of the structure of WTC meetings knows that this can only mean one thing: Cook’s Shipyard. The continuing development of the front seems to take on a soap opera status. Month after month, the masses are left with a cliffhanger as the plot develops and we wait for the disabled toilets to open.

Cllr Brian Sinclair said:

“We have had a request to meet with Taylor Wimpey. We need to do this sooner rather than later. They want to talk to us about the commercial units that they can’t sell. The goalposts are being shifted over what is on offer under the Section 106 agreement. The disabled toilet isn’t being decorated. We need to renegotiate.

On the plus side, Taylor Wimpey might be able to level the ground in front of the public slipway. We have been told that we can put up a canoe rack by the Fisherman’s Store.”

Speaking of S106 wonga, a request has been made to WTC by Peter Hill to consider supporting the refurbishment of the Scout and Guide Hall, should any of the brown envelope dosh become available.

“We should strongly support this,”

…was the view from Cllr Sinclair.

But first of all, what about that other run down community facility / possible artistic studio down the High Street and overlooking the railway line? Yep - it’s the omnibus edition of the WTC meeting with the scene being switched once again to the St John’s Ambulance building…

With the item on the agenda under Planning, Mr Mayor declared:

“We are looking to achieve more community facilities within Wivenhoe. I suggest that we write to CBC, stating that WTC is aware of the need for additional community facilities in the town. We are looking to preserve facilities that are available.”

Read into that what you will…

In case you weren’t entirely clear, Cllr Tile called for the statement to be worded slightly stronger:

“WTC feels very strongly that meeting facilities should be preserved and increased.”

This was proposed and seconded, and unless there is one of those weird soap opera moments of mistaken identity, this soap addict would suggest that WTC wants to retain the St John’s Ambulance Building for public, not private use.

Sadly soap operas never come to a natural end, unless the ratings dip. The little hyperlocal tension shows no sign of a waning interest within Wivenhoe.

But every soap opera needs to have parallel plots. For every Simon Wicks there is a David. For every St John’s Ambulance Building and there is a Town Council Office.

See where we’re going with this one, telly addicts?

Probably not, and I admit that it was something of a ratings winner just ahead of the Ides of March when Mr Mayor declared:

“We are going to approach Colchester Borough Council and ask for them to hand back the ownership of this building to Wivenhoe Town Council.”

Blimey.

No paternity tests are required. Previous episodes show that the building sandwiched in-between the William Loveless Hall [where else?] and the old police houses has historically been owned by Wivenhoe Urban and District Council. Following the swallowing up of the towns and parishes by the borough in the ’70s, the soap was switched to a new franchise.

“We are going to ask for our ball back,”

…said Mr Mayor.

“We can predict the answer, but then we will move forward with our campaign.”

He who dares, Rodders. He who dares.

Or even Bob.

Blimey.

Sticking with the High Street and Cllr Penny Kraft confirmed that the increase in the hire rate for the William Loveless Hall has been sent out to all users. Only one complaint has come the way of WTC so far.

Never one to complain however is smiling Cllr Steve Ford, one of the Quay ward representatives on CBC. Arriving fashionably late (LOVLEY chunky wooly) and the good coucillor was keeping true to his word, with his third meeting of the night.

Ides of March, ‘n all that Comrade.

It was a case of catching up with plot taking on the traditional soap opera ark and circling back to the St John’s Ambulance Building. It’s a ratings winner I tell you. Just wait until the live screening of the storyline at the Planning Committee meeting on 29th March.

Cllr Ford confirmed:

“A decision is imminent.”

Yep - 29th March…

With the good councillor also sitting on the CBC Planning Committee, he is unable to offer his views until the committee meets. He did however formally explain to WTC more about the process of the committee, and what is acceptable - and what is not - when it comes to communicating with committee members.

Twists and turns I tell you. Twists and turns.

Which is a bit like cycling down Station Road right now and avoiding all of the potholes. Poor Cllr Ford was then framed in classic soap tradition with a Who’s Who, or more like a Where’s Where of the potholes of Wivenhoe.

With great diligence, all potholes were logged.

“Is that it?”

…enquired Cllr Ford.

Just you wait until I roll out www.reportawivehoepothole.com, Comrade…

Not just a case of covering up the paper cracks is the quite amazing transformation of the old deserted police houses to becoming family homes now owned and rented out by WTC. No. 81 High Street is now complete. A local Wivenhoe family is moving in this weekend.

The work on No. 83 is progressing “at a terrific pace.” This should be put out for letting next week. Half a dozen local families have apparently already expressed an interest. For all the St John’s Ambulance Building and asking for the ball back from CBC bargaining nonsense, this is a genuine success story and shows what is possible with a little belief.

Occupying the time and resources of WTC next will be the step up in activities planned around the town’s celebrations for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. A meeting of the working party was held on 7th March. Feedback suggested:

“Progress is coming together. A brass band concert will conclude the weeklong celebrations. Volunteers are urgently needed throughout the town, with a wide range of skills.”

And then the usual heartwarming moment from the WTC agenda of a soap opera soon became something a little more interesting. Mr Mayor’s formal activities over the past month included the Mayor’s Variety Show (£1,000 raised) the Mayor’s Annual Ball (£1,600 raised) and “attending a meeting at the University about the construction of the multi-storey car park” (£10,000 needed PER CAR.)

Cripes.

With Planning Permission for the multi-storey car park adjacent to the University Sports Centre yet to be granted, Mr Mayor spoke of how the University is talking about the project as though it is a “cut and dry.”

The whopping £10k figure relates to the overall expenditure on the project, and what is required per car to recoup the cost.

A done deal?

A dud storyline more like.

Which seemed like something of an anti-climax to end the monthly meeting of WTC. I’ve seen the scripts for the April edition. With the local elections looming, it may just be that a much-loved old character is brought back into the plot for one final time…

Is that a dagger I see before me?

To the Philip Road Centre! …on Saturday evening for the timely screening of the Ides of March with Wivenhoe Moving Image. With the various political factions out doing the doorstep thing during the day ahead of the coming Colchester Borough Council local elections, it was fitting that a political thriller was being screened on Saturday evening.

Beware the Ides of March, ‘n all that. Beware the Wivenhoe wet weather was probably more the message that was being played out during the day.

Come Saturday evening and it was pleasing to see a full house in the Wivenhoe multiplex - more than one film has been screened here after all. Moving Image is on something of a roll right now. These are golden days for the independent community cinema in the town.

Word has got around about the ease and enjoyment of strolling up to see a film right on your doorstep for a bargain price. The schedule is incredibly well thought out and it is pleasing to see new faces coming forward to volunteer their time and resources.

It is a fine line between success and failure for the fledging independent cinema, but bums on seats balanced with a slightly left of centre approach to scheduling is what it is all about.

And so shortly after 8pm when the house lights at Philip Road were dimmed, we were straight in with the opening title sequences. None of the fifteen minutes of plugging away with endless trailers, as is the case with the big boy cinema groups elsewhere. Film lovers want to see films, not MTV style three-minute mini soap operas.

There is something of a Ryan Gosling love in going off with Moving Image right now - and that’s just the mutual metrosexual admiration amongst the more liberal chaps in the town who enjoy a quiche or two.

A few weeks ago we were treated to the cold eye stare of Mr Gosling in Drive, and then this week we had the bare bottom action from the Ides of March. The film is a US political thriller, with the pin up boy playing the role of a spin-doctor against George Clooney’s Democratic candidate.

How fickle the political world of dirty tricks is; how fickle are the quiche eating liberal male folk of Wivenhoe are, ditching Gorgeous George for Gosling and the shark eyess stare.

As one would expect from a political thriller, every frame featured a turning of the plot. The Philip Road Centre was silent from start to finish, engrossed in a film that shows just how greasy the political pole to power can become.

Back on the hyperlocal Wivenhoe doorstep campaign and I hear that dog pooh is something of a political hot potato.

Beware the Slides of March, Comrades.

Moving Image will be announcing the April schedule of films over the next few days. There is talk of more Wivenhoe Wittertainment to welcome in the new season.

To the Congregational Hall! …on Saturday morning for the latest fruit ‘n veg Pr0n photoshoot, otherwise known as the wonderful Wivenhoe Farmer’s Market monthly stock up on the fat of the land. Thankfully no protruding cucumbers this month, Madam.

Returning back to base with a carrier bag stuffed full of fresh produce for a photo opportunity is a well-established monthly ritual. Other folk photograph wildlife, landscapes or even Reader’s Wives. I’ll stick with the stiff rhubarb, thank you very much.

With wet Wivenhoe farming weather to greet the Congregational Hall gathering, there were no imminent worries about hosepipe bans. I celebrated by dousing down the stiff rhubarb with my long hose, having captured the Pr0n money shot.

Now take a cold shower, you mucky pup.

On sale on Saturday were other carniverous delights of the flesh. The ever-popular Primrose Pork from Great Bentley did the business with sausages for breakfast. Best Pork and Old English were put to the bottom of the freezer, faster than you could come up with an innuendo for a filth inspired blog post.

Actually, no. How about cleaning up your act with the lovely Colne Soap Makers? The charming Christian entertained us early morning, with talk of the Wivenhoe Ferry and all things nautical, before remembering that he had had some fine produce to try and sell. That’s the beauty of the Farmer’s Market - no hard sell, plenty of hyperlocal gossip.

We settled on the Luscious Lavender bar, scented to bring out a natural aroma goodness in all those places that sometimes needs a little love.

Where’s the soap, etc.

Vegetables basics were covered from our usual outdoor chap, with a hint of the spring and summer months to come. Carrots, spuds, broccoli, leeks and rhubarb. A Masterchef contestant could no doubt turn around some Soho inspired delight of a dish with these ingredients. I’ve always enjoyed my veg raw to the bone, so to speak.

Chives and scones completed the shop - not collectively, although there are ambitions to grow the chives and then add them to some home baked scones. Ah, but what came first, the chives or the scones?

What comes next for the Wivenhoe Farmer’s Market is the next Congregational Hall gathering on 21st April, 9am - midday. If you can’t wait until then, then it is great to see Deli Mike stocking Primrose Pork and Colne Soap Makers down at the bottom of the High Street.

Bottom.

He said bottom.

Huh. Huh. Huh.

NOW HEAR THIS! NOW HEAR THIS!

*very* LOUDLY, obviously.

Robert Needham, the official Town Crier of Colchester will be talking about his work @15QueenStreet this Thursday lunchtime. The event is part of the monthly Lunchtime Show Off series that is staged within the Cultural Quarter (stop sniggering) of Sunny Colch. It starts at 1pm. Admission is open to all. Entry is FREE.

It probably won’t be an earplugs at the ready gathering on Thursday, but a rather intimate chat with a local man with a fascinating history. Robert’s career covers local engineering work, the Essex Police Dog Unit and a post at Colchester Borough Council. All of the above required an authoritative way with words. All of the above required the ability to be heard.

NOW HEAR THIS! blah blah blah…

Robert will be speaking / shouting on Thursday about the traditional role of being a Town Crier. He is proud to represent Britain’s Oldest Recorded, something he carries out rather well around the UK and Europe at the various Town Crier gatherings. Betcha the speeches at the prize giving get a little out of hand…

If you’re stuck for Q’s to ask Robert at the end of his talk, you could always ask him about his other role as the current Mayor of Wivenhoe. Or even his recent rather neat turn as Jake the Peg at the Wivenhoe’s Got Talent variety show.

Interesting character, interesting TALK.

Depending on your point of view, The Only Way is Essex has either debased the ancient Anglo Saxon eastern tribal kingdom to a cacophony of crapness, or it is essential viewing in-between getting your velvet glove vajazzled.

And that’s just the transsexuals amongst you.

But perhaps the greatest cultural achievement of TOWIE is to inspire Mr Mule to create his own hyperlocal radio soap opera, loosely inspired by the likes of Arg, Nana Pat and Big Vern [is this right?]

TOWIE - The Other Way is Elmstead is a snapshot of North Essex estuary wilds life, as seen through the incredibly limited output of a couple of characters that may *or may not* exist.

As Mr Mule states himself:

“The people you will hear in this programme are all false. The thing is - they think are real.”

Which is a shame, as I was convinced I recognised the couple of leads.

Just like TOWIE, not a lot happens in The Other Way is Elmstead. That’s the whole point. The purpose of the show is to ridicule Essex being ridiculed by TOWIE.

We think.

Which makes it all terribly post-modern.

Or perhaps it is just a bit of harmless post-pub fun?

The Other Way is Elmstead only really works if you are standing with your back to Wivenhoe. Otherwise you’d be left with The Other Way is Tendring. TOWIT doesn’t exactly describe the wisdom passed on.

The production was put together by Mr Mule as part of the increasingly professional output now being broadcast online by Radio Wivenhoe. The Voice of the Colne has been on air for almost nine months, broadcasting out of a studio at the Wivenhoe Business Centre.

The volunteer run station is unashamedly community based, training up local presenters and encouraging them and the station to develop. The ambition is for the Voice of the Colne to apply for a community FM licence next year. Colchester will then be on the radar, and the footprint for the hyperlocal station will spread.

But for now, The Other Way is Elmstead. Alresford, Aigers Green etc.

Plus: if you like this, you might also like Farm Shop…

What started out as a twitter punt, soon became reality less than seven days later.

*possibly* in the market for a Brompton, if anyone knows of a seller? @thebikeshow? Chapeau! #ridecolchester

— Jason_Cobb (@Jason_Cobb) March 4, 2012

The good @zemblamatic - who I actually know offline - had a Brompton stored away in his garden shed that was now surplus to his own bicycling needs. A quick agreement on price, and woh - job’s a good ‘un.

Have Brompton, will travel.

All the way to… London. Grrrrr.

I don’t think that the Brompton is going to see much action around these North Essex estuary wilds. She’s purely for the London commute. It was starting to get a little *ahem* congested taking the Moulton Deluxe on the commuting train. Greater Anglia regulations are fine with the arrangement. My fellow commuters understandably not so.

Apologies, all…

My in-built bicycle mechanism is set to be a Moulton Man by default. Being a Brompton Boy shouldn’t be anywhere on my bicycling agenda. But for all the marvels of Dr Alex’s half a Century old frames fixed together with a block of rubber, sadly the F frames weren’t designed for the demands of modern day commuter travel.

Regular catch ups with the good Cllr Tile of Wivenhoe Town Council during the commute led to the slight Brompton envy. The good Cllr is a man that is as lean with his bicycling space as he is at balancing the Town Council budget. Meanwhile my Moulton was rubbing up the First Class customers the wrong way, poking through into their sacred space.

I’ve given the Brompton a roll out of sorts, from Sunny Colch, up Boundary Road and back towards Wivenhoe. The two-speed hub was perfectly adequate for the Cat 1 climb that is Col de Essex University. As with all mini-wheelers, the tyres are pumped up to the max; a light touch is applied to the brakes.

Gotta keep rolling…

Colchester Cycles have been superb in offering advice and a little service. Finding a dedicated Brompton seller in the region is going to prove invaluable. I’ve already added a new seat, replaced an inner tube and have a little spoke tinkering on the To Do list to come.

I accept that a Brompton Boy may not be as gracious as the Moulton Man look that has characterised my bicycling needs of late. But sometimes it’s not all about the bike. Sometimes it’s all about the train and what you can get away with in the cattle truck.

And so along with the Raleigh Twenty, that’s two more mini-wheelers added to the fleet in the past few days. Remember the golden rule of bicycle ownership: it is dictated by budget and storage space.

I have little of the former (not now, anyway) but plenty of the latter. Especially when my latest bicycling love is now a folder.

Chapeau!