Serving Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe and Nearby Villages, another fortnight passes and whaddya know - it’s only a personal delivery of the esteemed Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.
Hurrah!
I often worry about those mystical Nearby Villages. I often worry about Brightlingsea, but for completely different reasons. It’s a fine job that the Chronicle does in covering a news patch (get you) that stretches out from the University all the way across to the coast.
Caught up in-between of course are those Nearby Village. Some may say the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea. That’s the high price to pay for living in Alresford, Comrades.
But anyway - applying a BIG BLACK MARKER to all the Brightlingsea and Nearby Villages news pieces [as ever - start yer own hyperlocal blog] and what are we left with within the Wivenhoe news beat?
Um…?
Not a great deal for this fortnight, folks. Wivenhoe has been closed this weekend. That’s what Latitude does for a small estuary fishing town. But flicking through the newsprint pages, and those hyperlocal Wivenhoe news stories are there to be treasured, much in the same way as finding a reduced price loaf of harvest grain up at the Co-op.
I’ve been a hungry man of late - both for local gossip and harvest grain.
Sailing into town this weekend (see what I have done there?) is of course the Wivenhoe Regatta. Scoop Scarpenter recognises this with the snappy p.3 headline of:
The Wivenhoe Regatta
Tell It Like It Is, my good man.
“The Wivenhoe Regatta will start this year on the evening of Friday 22nd July with a pram race in the lower part of the town, and with main maritime and quayside activities on Saturday 23rd July.
Pram racing will start at 7:15pm outside The Station pub and will finish at the Black Buoy, with “mother and baby” having to drink half a pint of beer at all the pubs in lower Wivenhoe.”
Cripes.
I hope we’re not including The Legion, the Colne Social Club, the Sailing Club… etc.
“High tide is at 6pm and the maritime activities commence at 4pm. These will include a raft race, several rowing races and barge and smack races.”
And *possibly* some bonkers bloke still trying to work out how best to paddle his bloody kayak.
Blimey.
If you’re relying upon more traditional transport on Regatta day, then take the p.4 advice of Scoop, when he informs us:
The 74 Isn’t the Same Anymore
Tell It Like… blah blah blah…
“Recently the 74 bus route between Colchester and Clacton underwent a time saving alteration. It now runs along Rectory Road, Wivenhoe and misses out The Avenue and Belle Vue Road.”
It also leaves plenty of passengers, both elderly and young, somewhat stranded. Donctha just love this time saving progress?
But wait! What’s this?
Just as you start to organise a hike across half of the town in order to meet your loved one (s) off the No. 74 from Clacton (Kiss Me Quick, Comrades) and Scoop rather helpfully adds:
“However, it’s not quite as simple as that. On Sundays and during the evening after 7pm it will continue to run on the old route along The Avenue and Belle Vue Road.
Talk about a Magical Mystery Tour. I wonder what our friends from Nearby Villages make of it all?
The BEST headline in The Chronicle this fortnight of course goes to:
Wivenhoe Beavers Bury a Time Capsule
*straight face, Jase. straight face*
“As part of the activities nationally to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Beavers Scouts, an organisation for boys and girls 6 to 8 years of age [ah - I see…] the 1st Wivenhoe Beavers marked the event recently by burying a time capsule locally.”
And jolly smart and smiling the little chaps and chappesses look in the photo call as well.
“Contained in the capsule were various items including letters from the children about facilities and items they have now, but were not available for youngsters of their age 25 years ago.”
Like the 74 bus?
Whoops.
But for all the bad jokes, it’s better to leave it to the (semi) professional big boys and girls:
Comedy Time at Wivenhoe
I think you know what’s coming, chuckle friends…
“The next meeting of Wivenhoe’s very own comedy club, the Wivenhoe Funny Farm, will be held on Thursday 21st July [um, day of publishing for this blog post…]
The line-up will include previews from this year’s Edinburgh Festival with performances by Kevin Shepherd and Catie Wilkins. As usual the club night will be held in Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club’s pavilion, Rectory Road. Doors open at 7pm for an 8pm start.”
Splendid.
On a similar theme:
An Afternoon of Live Music, muses upon:
“An afternoon of live music and fun for all the family will be provided at Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club on Sunday 24th July. The event will run from 1pm to 6pm and music will be provided by the bands Bouncing Off Concrete and Praying Mantis.
“Tickets are strictly limited, no sales on the gate. They can be purchased at the Horse and Groom pub or at the cricket club on match days.”
Anything else to add? Alresford? Elmstead Market? Little Bentley?
So near, yet so far.
Different world, Comrades. Different World.