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To the Wivenhoe Bookshop on Saturday morning for some Radio Wivenhoe interview training. We may revel in our amateur status, but to keep the big boys of broadcasting from getting hold of a community licence, a training programme has to be in place.

Which is no bad thing, given the bumblings around the edges of of an mp3 player that I have so far put out in the name of Wiv Chat.

We are blessed here in Wivenhoe to have Heather Purdey as a local resident. Having made a name for herself in fronting up radio newsrooms in the ’80s and early ’90s, Heather is now a highly esteemed academic, holding the post of Director of International Journalism at City University.

But that’s all for the day job. Heather very kindly gave up her weekend to help out a rag tag collection of hyperlocal broadcasting types to sit in the splendour of the backroom shed at the Bookshop, and help us out as we explore what lies ahead for Radio Wivenhoe.

We have pretty much been making it up as we go along in the short history of Radio Wivenhoe - have mp3 recorder, will travel. Physically setting up the station was the priority. Smoothing out the rough edges and coming up with the What Next has to be addressed now.

With news of the hyperlocal station just starting to spread around the town, we have a little grace to experiment and find some future direction; or even find how to turn on your portable mp3 player and actually record some content.

Whoops.

But Radio Wivenhoe needs a focus to keep the momentum and enthusiasm progressing. We certainly found this on Saturday, with a microphone being thrust into our face and an impromptu interview greeting each guest upon arrival.

Must try that one at the locals stagger out of The Station after last orders on a Saturday night…

It wasn’t just the interview technique that Heather was able to condense into our three hour slot, but also the physical set up in putting in place a makeshift studio in your own front room.

With @AnnaJCowen covering all four corners of Studio Wiv Chat with a pot of Dulux back at base, there are some basics that I have overlooked. Body language is all-important, especially when you have strapped down your guest for an hour as you try and unearth that previously unknown piece of hyperlocal history.

Come mid-morning and is was time to be let loose on the locals of Wivenhoe.

Oh Lordy.

The practical task was set to tear up and down the High Street and come back with a short piece. I pondered going to Papa’s Chip Shop and delicately producing a piece of advertorial, all for the small price of one of the finest saveloys you can get your yer lips around in North Essex.

I buggered off down to the Quay instead: not a single soul insight. Wivenhoe is very good at sleeping though Saturday mornings. Questions were considered about the unwelcome boat, but no one was around to answer them.

Hard-pressed hyperlocal news hounds can probably find a story at the Sailing Club I though. Not at low water Jase.

Whoops.

The charming Pet Shop Girls at the Business Centre were also on my radar, but by now I was starting to get some slightly crazed looks after watching a couple of local lads roll around in the mud by the jetty, hovering with my mic, and poised to ask them what they hell they were doing.

“Having fun, innit?”

Hey hoe.

With the studio clock counting down, I made a dash for the Wivenhoe Trail. This has been a hotbed of hyperlocal debate of late over on the Wivenhoe Forum (whaddya mean… blah blah blah - oh, just…)

Permissive Use by Bicyclists doesn’t amount to free love and understanding being dished out by Ferry Marsh, but watch yer back - it’s only one of those lycra lovers about to take you up the backside.

THIS is local news. THIS was going to be my lead back in the Bookshop shed.

I wandered lonely as a cloud, almost as far down as the Hythe. Not a single cyclist or pedestrian passed me.

Wake up Wivenhoe: TIME TO DIE.

Eventually a charming Dutch couple slowed down outside the old Engine Shed as I waved at them on their touring bikes like a mad fool waves at a wet hen.

“Um, yeah, um, Radio Wivenhoe, y’know, so, right, what d’ya think of cycling?”

It wasn’t the best opening question and my guests were struggling slightly with the lingo. Still, I recorded three minutes of audio, which probably made more sense if you could see the head nods that got us around the language issues.

Happy with the scoop, and with a skip and a hop along Station Road, I listened back to my recording.

Don’t press DELETE Jase, press save. DON’T PRESS DELETE, JASE PRESS SAVE.

So yeah, I inadvertently deleted my three minutes of fame.

Back down towards the Hythe it was then.

Well, not quite. A couple of new to Wivenhoe locals walked past, I filled them in; they had heard of Radio Wivenhoe and were only to keen to help out the bumbling boy about town with a mic.

A closed question here and there went against all the theory that we were taught back in the Bookshop shed, but I quite like the short piece. It’s not going to throw the global financial crash off the top of the news bulletins, but then again the Dow Jones never really played out very strong in the beer garden at The Station.

Back at the Bookshop and all four students listened to the recordings that we returned with. Puffin came back with a brilliant insight into life in the village Post Office, ex Cllr-Cyril headed for the boozer and welcomed the new land lady at the Black Buoy for a bar side chat. Mr Mule talked about Led Zep with Heather.

We all had four unique interviews, with four very different interview techniques. Those Editorial Board meetings at Radio Wivenhoe are going to keep us up all hours over those long winter months.

And so some three hours later after first bumbling through the Bookshop doors, I reflected on what had been the most useful and practical Saturday morning that I have experienced in some time - I’m including my time spent getting lost in the gardening aisles down at B & Q.

No formal news gathering is in place as yet at Radio Wivenhoe, but there are stories out there to be told, I tell ya.

We concluded with some wonderful serendipity. I knew of Heather in a different life some twenty-five years ago as my first job as the bumbling boy at the local radio station. Heather was already running the newsroom, and was about to go on to even better things.

A quarter of a century later, and we were both in the backroom shed at the Wivenhoe Bookshop and about to take the next step for Radio Wivenhoe.

The local radio station from back in the day has long since been lost to the big boys of corporate radio. Heather told me of how a breakaway hyperlocal online station back in the Fair City has since sprung up.

Now *that* sounds like something you want to here…

Taking in the waifs and strays of Wivenhoe, cleaning up cat s***.

They really should erect a blue plaque above our home inscribed with this fine character reference.

Yeah, so @AnnaJCowen and I have a new lady / man in our lives. I don’t really do Facebook, but… it’s awkward.

I’m not sure if we’re sleeping with a boy or a girl, and to be honest, I haven’t had the time for a good look down below to identify exactly what is going off in the kitty gonad department.

But if you are missing a gorgeous white cat around Wivenhoe, s/he is with us right now.

The charming Pet Shop Girls are of course involved - aren’t they always. It was to the very good fortune of White Minstrel (copyright @wivenhoepets) that s/he wandered into the Business Centre early on Saturday morning.

Off all the bars in all the world and you have to place your pretty paws @WivenhoePets, etc. What exactly is wrong with the Black Buoy?

As you would expect, the charming Pet Shop Girls cared for White Minstrel for most of the day. S/he was VERY hungry, and then became rather tired.

It was at this point that @AnnaJCowen and I walked in - also very hungry and rather tired and emotional having attended the ACE opening of the Spanish Paintings exhibition (bloggage to follow, Comrades…)

The problem for the Pet Shop Girls is that they are overrun with cats already on the domestic front. Keeping White Minstrel in store, so to speak, would probably lead to a run on cat food in Wivenhoe. S/he does like a good feed.

Meanwhile, back at base and we are overrun with Murphie, the psychologically unstable little Madam of Wivenhoe, who is also rather adorable. I share my life with two females of this description.

We do have a rather large garden shed however, which offers a safe house overnight for White Minstrel. S/he is currently falling asleep in there, quite content, and with quite a full belly.

We would love to look after White Minstrel for a while longer, but s/he ‘aint ours. Plus little Murphie would be sectioned for the madhouse if another cat came into our home.

SO…

Are you missing a white cat? S/he’s is quite bulky, very friendly and yeah, very hungry. S/he is wearing a black collar with small studs around it. Some small bells are also attached.

Please call into Wivenhoe Pets if you are missing this cat, or if you know of anyone that it might belong to. You can also email me over here.

In the meantime - how exciting: a dual cat household, both of whom are blissfully unaware of each other. I wish human relationships could be like that.

Meowww…

Dogs being walked along Wivenhoe Quay, cats on every estuary street corner: hey - y’know what we need? Wivenhoe Pets, of course.

And so it was with great delight that my first proper pet ownership more or less coincided with the opening of Wivenhoe Pets down at the Business Centre towards the end of last year.

A cat is a cat is a cat - you feed them, they pooh. Everyone’s happy.

Um, not quite…

Andreya and Jane (for they are the *ahem* Pet Shop Girls) provide much more of a service than simply selling pet food. Both are highly skilled and have a professional background in pet care.

As well as a local delivery service, a cat care service if you are out of town, and even a growing garden business, it is the conversations and help that I value most when down at the Business Centre.

The Wivenhoe Pets Wall of Fame is a badge of honour to be included upon (Murphie, not me.) We’re in fine company as well, with one lovely neighbour also having representation, and I here talk of the other side *shhh* possibly about to take part in the pet action as well.

Matching up the Wall of Fame with the audio above made perfect pet sense. There is of course the special guest appearance of everyone’s favourite Station Cat towards the end. Andrea and Jane have been crucial here in ensuring that a genuine care in the community approach is now in place to look after Wendy and her needs.

You can contact Wivenhoe Pets on 01206 823 941, or via the Facebook page, or even on twitter @wivenhoepets. Pop in for a chat, explain your pet needs, and I’m sure you’ll be accommodated.

Meanwhile, the Facebook page updates with:

“MISSING BLACK CAT - missing since Thursday night 9th June - Lower Wivenhoe area. No tag, large, slim male, very friendly. Black with few white hairs under his neck. Any information please call 07833 256949″

NOT the adorable Naughty Boy, who sadly is back on his semi-permanent vacation in Frinton.

Meowww.

Image copyright: Jane Knight.

Ah, here’s one that almost escaped underneath the Wivenhoe radar: local artist Jane Knight will be staging her first photo-art exhibition at Les Livres Gallery in Trinity Walk, Colchester over the next month.

I come from a non-artistic background, and so Jane will of course always be known to me as one half of the charming Pet Shop Girls down at the Business Centre. Looking at the loving way in that the displays are arranged, now all seems to make perfect pet (and artistic) sense.

The excellent Urban Abstracts website adds:

“Jane has supplied a top London Picture Agency with images for over sixteen years, with her photographs appearing in numerous publications such as The Times newspaper, Sunday Telegraph and The Discovery Channel Website to name but a few.”

The exhibition opens on 10th May, and runs through until 8th June, with a Monday - Thursday viewing for free.

Although not officially part of the wonderful collection of images assembled by Jane, there is a rather charming Wivenhoe Rogues Gallery of the various pets that pass through the Pet Shop on display down at the Business Centre…

Meowwww.

Plus: here’s a brief plug for the Nottage Summer Exhibition, starting on 15th May this year. It will be open from 2pm - 5pm on Sundays and Bank Holidays, exhibiting work from Pru Green, Alison Stockmar and Barbra Pearson - all local artists - and one of whom use to have a studio in the very same space where these words are being bashed out right now.

Blimey.

To the Town Council Office on Monday evening for the final meeting of Wivenhoe Town Council - nope, we’re not about to surrender citizenship to the impending city status of Colchester - there’s some serious spunk inside the folk of Wivenhoe, and then some, Comrades…

But with the ballot box looming (or not…) then this was the final farewell for the current administration. It was to be a meeting where the words “emotional“, “cowslips” and “bottoms” would all appear in the official minutes.

Blimey.

Chomping at the bit and ready for the off (and the electoral door knocking) was LibDem Councillor Cory, representing the folk of Wivenhoe Cross at Colchester Borough Council. The good councillor had very kindly given up his evening of ear bending to update WTC with recent #hyperlocal matters around his patch.

“Dog fouling behind Chainee Road has been a problem. Wivenhoe Town Council helped to re-surface this recently. Sadly some dog walkers are not so respectful.”

Rather than finger point, I rather like Cllr Cory’s approach in accentuating the positives here:

“The solution has been to approach the nearby Broomgrove School and ask if the children would like to help to make No Dog Fouling signs to put up.”

Did someone say B-b-b-b-b-big society?

Blimey.

Alternatively I feel duty bound to remind you that the charming Pet Shop Girls down at Wivenhoe Pets supply dog poop bags.

Other Cross issues from Cllr Cory included drainage problems around Broomgrove (sorted) potholes (reported) and the possibility of introducing streetlights at the Elmstead Road / Brightlingsea Road junction by the football club.

A cheeky grin and a smile towards the top table, and then the good councillor reminded WTC that he was up for re-election, and he hoped to continue the pothole and dog pooh conversation next month.

Safety in numbers, etc and so next up it was fellow LibDem colleague Councillor Manning, also of the Cross, also providing an update.

“I’ll keep this very short - I have been making sure that residents in my ward have enough black bin liners.”

Bravo.

One would hope that there is a little more meat on the bone, so to speak, in some of the election literature heading our way over the coming weeks

Peter Kay, the Public Transport Representative, then filed his report. There is the possibility of the 61 and 62 bus timetable changing in the afternoons from September through until the end of winter. This is to take into account increased public transport use during this period.

Speeding through the agenda faster than a juggernaut down Valley Road (steady) and next we were on to Planning. The lease issue continues to dominate the ongoing Cook’s Shipyard business. Progress is slow.

Something slightly more positive however when it comes to the much delayed new Health Centre for Wivenhoe. Mr Mayor updated WTC that he has held a meeting with the PCT this week, amid growing concerns that national government NHS policy changes may have a serious impact on the future of health provision in Wivenhoe - all in a non-party political sense, of course.

The outcome is something extremely positive:

“We are gathering momentum over this issue. After much delay over this project, we are hopeful of having a definitive answer in May. All is not lost and it even looks rather positive.”

That’s something to tell the electorate on the doorstep, and with immaculate timing, it was back to the day job, and back to the door knocking from our good LibDem Councillor friends.

Um, good luck with that one, fellas.

The Personnel Committee confirmed that Ray, Wivenhoe’s Litter Picker Supreme, has now formally retired. A much-deserved formal presentation will take place at the Annual Town Meeting next month.

Meanwhile, we have a replacement in James, who has already been busy going about his business. Mr Mayor is extremely happy with the appointment, and encouraged that we weren’t short on applicants for the post.

A lengthy debate then followed all about the Best Value Committee. This *isn’t* about umm-ing and ahh-ing over the price of a Pot Noodle at the Co-op, but as the name suggests, how WTC can make the most of the little dosh that comes our way.

As ever, I became slightly lost in the finer detail. The allocation of Section 106 funding was at the core, and with perfect time, Colchester Borough Council is about to introduce some training in how to understand 106 arrangements.

Sign me up now, Comrades.

But back to the finer mechanics of Best Value. The discussion continued, with great debate about definitions within the WTC constitution. Words such as “emotion” were erased, and “code of conduct” inserted instead. There was even an on the record “bloody hell!” moment, but one wouldn’t expect to see this appear within the WTC letter of the law.

You say tomatoe, I say tomato, etc. Actually, I say can we move on please?

Bloody hell, etc.

Never one to stick to the formalities of the agenda (and hurrah for that,) and a fashionably late appearance from the good Councillor Steve Ford, Labour’s representative in the Quay ward, then lit up the Council chamber.

Councillor Ford played it cool, not wanting to talk about potholes and dog pooh, but simply taking the time out from the election stump to thank and praise the work of the retiring Wivenhoe Town Concillors.

Some very honest and humble words were spoken about Councillors Iacovou, Fox and Liddy, the latter of which is stepping down from UNPAID civic service after sixteen years in the chamber.

Sweet. Now back to yer #workingforwivenhoe, Comrade.

Working Party Reports then followed. Any party that involves work is usually one that I would give a wide berth - a bit like the Wivenhoe Community Mini Bus, which has been experiencing a few navigational malfunctions with some drivers. Rest easy, Comrades - the verges causing the minor traffic woes have now been trimmed.

Speaking of minor gardening mishaps, Mr Mayor reported that an official complaint has been received by a resident about the premature cutting of the cowslips in the cemetery, before they had the chance to bloom. You may smirk, my friends, but such issues have been known to bring down governments.

The Wivenhoe Wood Working Party (or www.p for the cool kids by the Co-op) extended an open invite for any local folk who want to find out what the WTC group with the BEST name actually gets up to. There is an Open Day on 15th May, meeting by the picnic benches in the wood.

www.p <3 lol, as we like to say wit da yoof.

Speaking of which, the Youth Facilities Working Party perhaps provided the most controversial moment of the meeting. It is a sign of the economic times when WTC is considering future funding arrangements for the ACE Hub down at the Philip Road Centre.

No need to run for office on a Yoof ticket just yet - simply that WTC would like to see the balance books of the group, ahead of awarding a further £1,000 annual contribution to help support the Hub.

It makes economic, if not social sense. The overall aim of the Hub is to be self-sufficient. The initial grant was just that - a means to an end. It now seems that the end may be closer than was first thought. One to watch for the budget review in the autumn…

Members’ Individual Reports included a humble, honest and glowing tribute from Mr Mayor towards the three councillors that are stepping down. Mr Mayor also updated the meeting with his civic engagements over the last month - EIGHT events have been attended by the nice man with the bling. That’s an awful lot of Mr Sheen to account for in the town budget.

I believe the children are our future, treat them well and let them lead the way, etc… Mr Mayor highlighted the recent Colne Fusion concert at the Congregational Hall, the Youth Council visit to the chamber and a visit to the nature garden at Broomgrove as his personal best bits from the past month.

Community Safety and Police Matters (replacing the old Neighborhood Watch Scheme) offered feedback on the recent move of our local police team to the fire station. There is slight concern about contact details. A mobile number is available (07966 197245) as well as a non-emergency contact line on 0300 333 4444. WTC resolved to help publicise these more.

As for the recent NAP meeting? I refer my honourable colleagues to the blog post blah blah blah…

The good Town Clerk reported on the town council business of one burial grant being approved, the second grass cutting in the cemetery (watch out for those cowslips - whoops) and the brilliant news that the bumblebee springer in the KGV has been given a new head.

Blimey.

“Caution needs to be exercised” when it comes to Finance. There is a “substantial surplus” in the WTC coffers, with a recommendation to re-assess the budgets that were cut at the start of the financial year. £3,000 will soon be needed for urgent chapel repairs; a matching figure is being put aside as an emergency legal fighting fund. Presumably the two aren’t linked.

Letters of Correspondence to WTC included a rather sad update that the Wivenhoe Youth Theatre has been wound up. After sixteen years of working with young folk around the town, recruitment has become something of a problem.

It’s not that Wivenhoe is short on young theatrical talent - witness the booming ADP Theatre, and the fine talent on show in the Pantomime - it is simply that many other local groups now offer a similar service.

Mr Mayor personally pledged to write a letter of thanks to those involved in keeping the Youth Theatre running, and congratulating them on what has been achieved within the town.

A notice of the Annual Town Meeting was formally read out. Wednesday 11th May in the Loveless Hall is THE social event of the year. Or something. It certainly is for Mr Mayor, who came as close as is constitutionally possible in asking for a cross party whip. Shirt and ties would be nice as well.

Highways confirmed that the 20mph speed limit for lower Wivenhoe would be formally adopted by Essex County Council on 25th July. A new bus shelter is now in place outside Cedric’s. Civic pride was taken in announcing that it can “accommodate four bottoms.” That all depends on the size of bottom, surely…

Never mind the length, feel the thickness.

Which in a round about way brings us back to the final meeting of this administration. WTC is a few sandwiches short of a picnic hamper - only eleven names have stepped forward for civic duty, leaving two co-opted vacancies.

The role of a Town Councillor is unpaid, but you do get to enjoy the civic bowl of sweets that is passed around the chamber once a month.

Humbug!