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A late night Greyhound drinking session with Scoop Scarpenter last week (well, past 9pm) and the GREAT man tells me that he has a deadline of 9am for the following morning for the esteemed Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

I went round to the other side of the bar to buy Scoop a lager shandy, and whaddya know - faster than a hand delivered hyperlocal (ish) news publication is delivered single handedly door-to-door around the town, yer man was back bashing away at his typewriter.

And so no surprises that with the 9am deadline delivered, so is the August edition of the organ of truth and justice. I bet the lager shandy is still standing at the bar back at The Greyhound.

Having bemoaned the Brightlingsea element of the Brotherhood in previous blog posts, it gives me great pleasure to see that Wivenhoe has something of a monopoly in the latest print run.

I like to view the relationship as one in which the never the twain live in glorious isolation, joined together at the hip in the form of a hyperlocal newspaper. If Scoop were ever to scarper, then the North Essex estuary Special Relationship would be as fractured as Scoop’s right elbow after bashing out his latest copy deadline.

Four front page stories, three with a Wivenhoe angle.

First up:

Former Councillor Campaigns for a Village Green.

“A former Wivenhoe Town Councillor is leading a campaign to gain village green status for public open space in Bowes Road. The land, which covers approximately one acre and is opposite Millfields School, became the centre of controversy last year when it was discovered that Elmstead Parish Council, who own the land, planned to sell if for development.”

Greedy developers, rival councils, village maidens carrying pints of warm beer (steady) - you could almost pen a concept album around the theme.

“Now Essex County Council, who have the power to grant the land village green status, are asking for the views of local residents.”

A HUGE hurrah for former Cllr Cyril Liddy, who has been continuing his fine civic service away from the cut and the thrust of the council chamber, and is actively campaigning to grant village green status for the land opposite Millfields.

“It should be protected from development, and people have until 2nd September to make their views known to Essex County Council.”

The good (ex) Cllr has more details over here.

A glance to the right of the front page lead and we have:

Preparing for the Big Jubilee Celebrations.

Aren’t we all, Comrades, aren’t we all…

“Preparations for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee local celebrations recently started in Wivenhoe when the town council hosted a meeting of interested volunteers.

A draft programme of events has been assembled… These celebrations are expected to include street parties on 2nd June, with a ball in the evening at the William Loveless Hall [where else] a special church service on the Sunday and party in the King George V Playing Field on the Monday.”

With May Fair falling the previous weekend, I’m abstaining from cheap cider and cream scones already.

“It is hoped that the party in the park will involve all age groups and will include entertainment such as a teddy bears’ picnic, a children’s pageant and a sports day with races. Other proposals include live music from a band, with the whole event ending with a fireworks display.”

Volunteers, as ever, are required. Contact the fine Town Clerk on 822864.

And to complete the BACK OF THE NET hat trick of Wivenhoe front page leads, save the best for last with:

Fund Raising Event for Radio Wivenhoe.

Keep it brief, Jase with the fabled 5 W’s:

WHO: Radio Wivenhoe.

WHAT: um a fundraiser.

WHERE: The Greyhound - hurrah!

WHY: ‘cos hyperlocal community broadcasting is a medium that is far superior to the banal big boys on oh so many levels.

WHEN: 3rd September, 12 noon onwards.

Sorted.

And that really should be yer lot from The Chronicle for this month, with every Wivenhoe angle covered on the front page. Has the whole of Brightlingsea buggered off on holiday or something?

But nope - wait, what’s this? Editorial independence, ‘n all that, but the GREAT MAN Scoop seems to favour our part of the estuary divide with yet further wanderings and word counts all about Wivenhoe.

Blimey.

Martin Newell’s Cabaret at The Greyhound.

Not wanting to suggest that the Wivenhoe social scene evolves around Mr Mule and The Greyhound, but…

“Martin Newell, the writer and musician currently describing himself as Wivenhoe’s leading light entertainer [ACE] will be doing another Saturday afternoon cabaret-style [and then some...] performance in the Upstairs restaurant of the Greyhound pub.

Newell, whose usual stock in trade includes poems, songs, rapid-fire stories and highly-risqué jokes [mouth like a sewer, Scoop, but splendid all the same] will be dedicating one part of his act to look at Colchester’s much maligned Hythe area.”

And hurrah for that.

Anyone who caught Sir Nartin’s Upstairs event at the start of the summer will recognise the randomness and radiance from Wivenhoe’s finest. Cakes - oh yes - comes your way once again from the scrumptious Well Bread local Wivenhoe cake emporium.

W*5 etc: Sir Nartin, filth and fun, Greyhound, pleasure, 20th August, 3pm. £4 on the door.

But it’s not all about the poetry and fine pastries. I’m a firm believer that you can pace the heartbeat of a town (blimey) by the success of its sporting teams.

Hang on…

Success for Tennis Club.

We’re not talking about Brightlingsea, either:

“Wivenhoe Town Tennis Club has gone from strength to strength this summer, enjoying a very successful season. With some matches still to be played, the men’s team has secured promotion from the 2nd to the 1st Division of the Colchester and District League, while the ladies’ team has secured promotion from the 3rd to the 2nd Division.”

Golden days up at Broad Lane it seems. Make the most of those memories.

Wivenhoe Memories Exhibition.

Seamless, Jase. Seamless.

“Local maritime history will be strongly featured at the forthcoming Wivenhoe Memories Exhibition to be held later this month. Maritime history covered will date back to the late 1500′s, and there will also be a display of model boats of the Seaplane and Wivenhoe Flyer.

Also on display will be numerous old photographs of local families, plus census reports dating back to 1841. Once again this annual event will be organised by local resident John Stewart, and it will be held at the William Loveless Hall [where else] over the August Bank Holiday weekend.”

The Bakehouse gets a charming piece of advertorial on page 8. Not exactly a filler, but worthy praise for a local restaurant I continually hear great things about of late. The three-course meal for £15 is something of a filler - and a bargain.

Across the road and:

Great Entertainment at Wivenhoe’s Church Ale Festival.

There’s a tale to be told about the crack PR team that managed to position this piece of wondrous copy in The Chronicle for this month. But I think you’d probably want to hear about the Wivenhoe Church Ale instead:

“Programmes for September’s two day medieval extravaganza - The Wivenhoe Church Ale - will soon be on sale. The family friendly festival is raising money for the maintenance of St Mary’s.”

It is also packing quite a punch in coming up with a hugely ambitious schedule for the weekend of 17th and 18th September.

More over on the ACE website. Much more over on Wiv Chat with the fine Marika.

And finally…

Folk Club - no edition of the esteemed organ of truth and justice would be complete without a plug for the pipe blowers [and SO much more...] up at The Flag and their monthly get-togethers:

“A new musical group whose aim is to help to return to the community some of the many folk songs collected by Ralph Vaughan Williams, Potiphar’s Apprentices [ACE name alert] will be the guest artistes at Wivenhoe Folk Club on 1st September.”

Ya see - I never did doubt Scoop could come up with his Wivenhoe leads with less than twelve hours to go and a slightly giddy tired and emotional outlook to the evening back in The Greyhound.

See you next month. Or next week. Or maybe even tonight.

Your round.

Serving Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe and Nearby Villages, the simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play that is The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is with us once again.

Hurrah!

It’s a cracking read in The Chronicle once again this fortnight. With those out of towners @TheGazette getting it all so very wrong over the May Fair story, it is pleasing to see local scribe Scoop Scarpenter present a Tell It Like It Is approach to local news reporting.

But first - how’s about a pic of a handsome chap wearing a gold chain, grinning out at you from the front cover?

Oh goody.

The Towns’ New Mayors is the lead, with a nice photo (taken by a hit and miss snapper) of Councillor Needham, the new Mayor of Wivenhoe:

“Born and bred in Wivenhoe, Robert Needham is now starting his third year on Wivenhoe Town Council. He is a former police dog handler and Sergeant, serving with Essex Police over a period of 30 years, and later becoming Community Operations Manager for Colchester Borough Council.”

He also runs a tight ship when it comes to chairing meetings, not to mention being a charming host at Open Gardens.

The Chronicle also documents Mayor Needham’s work on the severe weather policy for the town, as well as his role in helping to set up Helping Hands in the town.

“Wivenhoe is certainly diverse.”

We wish him well..

Likewise for Radio Wivenhoe, the new online broadcasting station that has been set up down at the Business Centre, which gets the p.2 treatment. Mr Mule writes:

“Wivenhoe now has its own radio station which will go live in early July. The station was initially the idea of Jerry Davis, who’s long harboured ambitions to create a radio station in the area.”

The Chronicle reports how forty volunteers turned up at The Greyhound last week to express an interest. The medium term plan is to apply for a community radio licence in 2013.

“Many of the volunteers seemed to be of the opinion that insufficient radio airtime was being allocated to forms of music outside of mainstream tastes. A majority of people at the meeting thought that Wivenhoe had the flair and breadth of talent to eventually create a radio station tailored to the town’s own needs.”

Not ‘arf.

The first Wiv Chat recording with a hit and miss *ahem* broadcaster has already been lined up for this week.

Blimey.

“For listeners, Radio Wivenhoe can be found at www.radiowivenhoe.co.uk. The email address is [email protected].”

You could even try [email protected]

Cripes.

Keeping with the Chronicle's catchy headlines, Independent Booksellers Week of Activities once again Tells It Like It Is:

“A number of activities for people of all ages will be organised in Wivenhoe as part of the Independent Booksellers Week. Run locally by the ever enterprising [and then some] Wivenhoe Bookshop, events start on 17th June at 6:30pm with a book launch of Truth or Dare, a collection of short stories.”

The Bookshop’s brilliant blog contains further… reading. Plus this might be an apt occasion to publish once again the first of hopefully many more @audioboo’s to come from the Bookshop.

Local scribe and all round good chap, Ben Thomas (@Heskey1992) writes an ACE May Fair round up on p.6: Musical May Fair Never Fails to Entertain.

Ben covers all three main stages, taking in the commanding Ady Johnson, the rising local star Lou Terry and even the festival favourite, the bonkers Mr Sonic Manipulator.

“This year’s event has certainly left the large crowd pleased with the musical performances. Individuals who had travelled from across the country and further afield had nothing but positive reviews about the year’s entertainment.”

A separate news story on p. 11 runs with:

“Disturbances Break Out at the May Fair“

It’s a clever journo trick played by Scoop, and one that the likes of @The Gazette would do well to learn from. May Fair 2011 was mainly about the music. You can’t cover up the police presence towards the end, but this wasn’t the headline news here.

“By mid afternoon there appeared to be a number of drunken youths acting aggressively and there were reports of bottles being thrown at members of the public and also fights breaking out in the field, in the adjacent wooded area, and also in The Avenue, Wivenhoe.

After calls were made to the police, two officers at first arrived, but by 6pm more than 40 police officers had been deployed to Wivenhoe to handle the various incidents.”

Hardly the “hundreds of youths” that @TheGazette got slightly over-excited with in its irresponsible, and inaccurate, reporting.

The Chronicle continues:

“A 20 year-old man from Marks Tey had been arrested prior to the main disturbance on suspicion of being drunk and disorderly and has since been charged with this offence and two offences of criminal damage.

Two 15 year-old boys were arrested just before 8pm on suspicion of assault and they have been bailed until 17th July while enquiries continue.”

Tell It Like It Is.

Meanwhile, the Battle of the May Fair makes for sombre reflection. Time to plan for 2012…

Moving on…

Who fancies an evening covering “immigration, religion, Zionism, Islamic jihad and the ongoing problem of people who are not yet middle class?”

Cripes.

Liam Mullone will bring all the above of to Wivenhoe during his performance at the Funny Farm at the Cricket Club 30th June. The Chronicle also reports Juliet Meyers and David Hannant are also appearing.

Meanwhile:

“Have you thought about joining the scouting adventure as a leader?”

Um…

p.7 carries the very urgent need for Wivenhoe Scouts to recruit a new scouting top dog. Further details via [email protected].

Ivan Sage writes a lovely review on p.10 of Wivenhoe’s ADP Theatre School’s production of Around the World 2 - Return Ticket, recently performed in Clacton. The show heads to the Charter Hall in Colchester on 25th June.

Local legends The Medlars meddling at Wivenhoe Folk Club on 7thJuly at The Flag are featured on p. 12; sharing the space is mention of the Helping Hands AGM at the Sailing Club on 16th June at 7:30pm. New volunteers welcome…

Now Hear This:

“The Hearing Care Centre will be holding its next Wivenhoe Open Day on 29th June at Wivenhoe Eyecare Opticians, 1 Belle Vue Road. Free, no obligation hearing tests and expert-advice on any hearing related problems are available.”

The Spanish Paintings exhibition at the Wivenhoe Gallery gets a plug on p.14, and that as they say is adios from Scoop for the next fortnight.

Fine work, fella.

Having spent six months in Wivenhoe and one afternoon in Brightlingsea (it was closed…) I feel suitably qualified in assessment to say that the esteemed Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is a bit back to front.

I know that it is all about respecting tradition, and probably pleasing advertisers - and rightfully so; but I reckon that the Wivenhoe Chronicle Incorporating Bits of Brightlingsea as an Added Back Page Bonus would make for a snappy newsstand title a the Co-op.

But hey hoe - what do I know?

So yeah, rejoice rejoice - a drop through the letterbox and blimey: it’s only another month and another copy of the ACE Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Overlooking the Brightlingsea news patch (please do) and we’re straight in with the news stories that the charming Scoop Scarpenter has been uncovering around these parts of late.

The front page is a shared effort with our Brightlingsea buddies covering the *shhh* Town and Borough local elections. I refer my honourable friends to the answer I gave in the blog post below.

Hilary Lazell’s Forthcoming Exhibition is the lead Wivenhoe story on p3:

“A Wivenhoe book illustrator will have an exhibition of her work at Colchester’s renowned independent bookshop Red Lion Books. The exhibition, Fairy Tales, will run from Thursday 21st April for a month.

One of her more unusual local commissions will be familiar to diners at Wivenhoe’s Upstairs restaurant at The Greyhound. Here she covered two walls with a mural depicting a slightly saucy story involving a beautiful French cafe dancer.”

Blimey.

A slightly saucy story French cafe dancer is just what I want before I tuck into my prawn cocktail.

The Community Safety Meeting coming up on 28th April in the Town Council gets a mention, as does the WivSoc Heritage Walk on the morning of 8th May.

The Pop Genius of this Parish pens an honest and thoroughly enjoyable read in his review of Oklahoma:

“At a potentially daunting run-time of somewhere under three hours, there was something about the breezy atmosphere of this Mary Williamson production, which made the time fly.”

A gold star for the Pop Genius for managing to slip in the Linda Lovelace reference - hurrah!

Jez Lowe and the Bad Pennies at the Folk Club at The Flag on 5th May get a plug, as does Around the World Two - Return Ticket, the latest production from Wivehoe based ADP Theatre, with two performances at the West Cliff Theatre in Clacton on 21st May.

And that’s about yet lot for local Wivenhoe news in the Chronicle this month. The Wivenhoe Chronicle Incorporating Bits of Brightlingsea as an Added Back Page Bonus hasn’t yet been submitted to print. It does seem something of a slow news month around these parts though.

The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is distributed free amongst local households. Additional copies are 25p from local newsagents.

And so having cycled to Brightlingsea and back at breakneck speed last weekend, I thought for my birthday I would commence the great Tendring Coastal Exploration that lies ahead for this summer. A sedate estuary walk out towards Brightlingsea would be a good start.

Back in South London and a good Sunday afternoon out meant walking to The Oval tube, rather than catching the bus. But when in Wivenhoe, then you have to do things slightly differently (although a bus did ultimately feature in the travel itinerary of @AnnaJCowen and I.)

Starting off from Wivenhoe Quay, we walked the familiar route out towards Alresford Creek. Today wasn’t a day for grumbling, but on the great Colne Clearance debate and I note that the roots of the vandalised rosehips, blackberries and sloes are slowly starting to emerge into the spring estuary air once again.

High tide around 11am was indeed something rather special. I overlooked the jollity of my walking companion who tried to high tide me with a hand slap - seriously. I smiled politely at any passing dog walker.

We reached the Creek and then did a slight detour out towards Thorrington Tidal Mill. I know that the Pop Genius of this Parish eulogises about the historic building in the wonderful A Prospect of Wivenhoe. Beautiful though the location may be, the constant rumbling of car traffic heading back and forth to Brightlingsea slightly spoils the scenic ambience.

No worries - with Brightlingsea Church within out sites (lovely daffs by the way) we ambled on towards the estuary. You may think that walking from The Flag down to the Quay back at base is something of a struggle. The Wivenhoe Run is a mere leg stretcher however when compared to the sheer length of the approach into Brightlingsea town centre.

A brisk exploration of the Lido (mmm - not quite the beauty of Brockwell, but any outdoor swim is a good swim,) a stroll along the front and then a Sunday birthday lunch of fish ‘n chips along the sea front.

The trip was planned to perfection with time for a couple of pints at the Station Tavern, ahead of the 16:18 back into Wivenhoe.

The old boozer in Brightlingsea makes The Station in Wivenhoe appear more like the inner interior of The Ritz. The pub has character all right, along with damn decent beer. It is to my great regret that I overlooked a pint of Crab ‘n Winkle mild to set me up for the birthday celebrations ahead.

We were back in Wivenhoe in time for the second half of the football, and back to reflect that although Brightlingsea may be a near neighbour, I think that we may the right decision in deciding to make a home of Wivenhoe.

The summer months promise similar Tendring Peninsula explorations. The plan is to cycle out towards Clacton, Frinton and Walton etc (oh to live the high life) and then catch the train back to Wivenhoe.

But that’s for another day.

Or even another birthday.

Full flickr stream over here.

A pleasant lunchtime stroll up towards the top of the town, and a fine midday meal at The Flag. Living in lower Wivenhoe and it is all too easy to overlook local life north of the Cross.

The Flag has always signified for me the traditional starting point for the Wivenhoe Run as a student. It was a pub in which to warm up, before the real booze fest entered into all its undergraduate folly.

Which is such a shame really, seeing as though The Flag is a rather charming, traditional, old Essex pub. To pass through en route as simply the warm up act ahead of annoying the locals (and once again, please accept my sincere apologies, albeit twenty years too late) is a failure to appreciate what The Flag has to offer.

Being served up for our lunchtime treat was a hearty gammon, pineapple and chips for the gent, and then the ladylike chili with chips for the fragrant @AnnaJCowen. Oh, and a couple of pints of Guinness as well.

Chin Chin.

Both meals clocked in at just under £14; both diners left feeling incredibly satisfied, with an even slower stroll back down towards lower Wivenhoe.

We weren’t alone in enjoying the fine company of Landlord John and his helpful staff. A busload (blimey) of elderly citizens also popped in for a lunchtime treat. Seeing the staff take great care to talk and joke with the diners isn’t an experience you’re likely to find heading towards Colchester and beyond.

With the spring sunshine starting to shine through (seriously) on the stroll back down town, we stopped off at a front garden table sale. A bamboo shoot for £1, and then four strawberry plants for the same amount - quite a pleasant little find to complete the lunchtime away from the office.

Oh - and there is something just rather warming about finding an honesty box to take care of local business within Wivenhoe.

So yeah - The Flag has officially been taken off my mental list as a place to simply chase a Guinness with a double JD, ahead of the misguided misdemeanors elsewhere within Wivenhoe.

I’m working on my perception of the old Park Hotel as a place in which to fall asleep at the bar all afternoon. Something tells me that the splendour of the lovely Jardine might cause something of a booze blunder.