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A late night Greyhound drinking session with Scoop Scarpenter last week (well, past 9pm) and the GREAT man tells me that he has a deadline of 9am for the following morning for the esteemed Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

I went round to the other side of the bar to buy Scoop a lager shandy, and whaddya know - faster than a hand delivered hyperlocal (ish) news publication is delivered single handedly door-to-door around the town, yer man was back bashing away at his typewriter.

And so no surprises that with the 9am deadline delivered, so is the August edition of the organ of truth and justice. I bet the lager shandy is still standing at the bar back at The Greyhound.

Having bemoaned the Brightlingsea element of the Brotherhood in previous blog posts, it gives me great pleasure to see that Wivenhoe has something of a monopoly in the latest print run.

I like to view the relationship as one in which the never the twain live in glorious isolation, joined together at the hip in the form of a hyperlocal newspaper. If Scoop were ever to scarper, then the North Essex estuary Special Relationship would be as fractured as Scoop’s right elbow after bashing out his latest copy deadline.

Four front page stories, three with a Wivenhoe angle.

First up:

Former Councillor Campaigns for a Village Green.

“A former Wivenhoe Town Councillor is leading a campaign to gain village green status for public open space in Bowes Road. The land, which covers approximately one acre and is opposite Millfields School, became the centre of controversy last year when it was discovered that Elmstead Parish Council, who own the land, planned to sell if for development.”

Greedy developers, rival councils, village maidens carrying pints of warm beer (steady) - you could almost pen a concept album around the theme.

“Now Essex County Council, who have the power to grant the land village green status, are asking for the views of local residents.”

A HUGE hurrah for former Cllr Cyril Liddy, who has been continuing his fine civic service away from the cut and the thrust of the council chamber, and is actively campaigning to grant village green status for the land opposite Millfields.

“It should be protected from development, and people have until 2nd September to make their views known to Essex County Council.”

The good (ex) Cllr has more details over here.

A glance to the right of the front page lead and we have:

Preparing for the Big Jubilee Celebrations.

Aren’t we all, Comrades, aren’t we all…

“Preparations for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee local celebrations recently started in Wivenhoe when the town council hosted a meeting of interested volunteers.

A draft programme of events has been assembled… These celebrations are expected to include street parties on 2nd June, with a ball in the evening at the William Loveless Hall [where else] a special church service on the Sunday and party in the King George V Playing Field on the Monday.”

With May Fair falling the previous weekend, I’m abstaining from cheap cider and cream scones already.

“It is hoped that the party in the park will involve all age groups and will include entertainment such as a teddy bears’ picnic, a children’s pageant and a sports day with races. Other proposals include live music from a band, with the whole event ending with a fireworks display.”

Volunteers, as ever, are required. Contact the fine Town Clerk on 822864.

And to complete the BACK OF THE NET hat trick of Wivenhoe front page leads, save the best for last with:

Fund Raising Event for Radio Wivenhoe.

Keep it brief, Jase with the fabled 5 W’s:

WHO: Radio Wivenhoe.

WHAT: um a fundraiser.

WHERE: The Greyhound - hurrah!

WHY: ‘cos hyperlocal community broadcasting is a medium that is far superior to the banal big boys on oh so many levels.

WHEN: 3rd September, 12 noon onwards.

Sorted.

And that really should be yer lot from The Chronicle for this month, with every Wivenhoe angle covered on the front page. Has the whole of Brightlingsea buggered off on holiday or something?

But nope - wait, what’s this? Editorial independence, ‘n all that, but the GREAT MAN Scoop seems to favour our part of the estuary divide with yet further wanderings and word counts all about Wivenhoe.

Blimey.

Martin Newell’s Cabaret at The Greyhound.

Not wanting to suggest that the Wivenhoe social scene evolves around Mr Mule and The Greyhound, but…

“Martin Newell, the writer and musician currently describing himself as Wivenhoe’s leading light entertainer [ACE] will be doing another Saturday afternoon cabaret-style [and then some...] performance in the Upstairs restaurant of the Greyhound pub.

Newell, whose usual stock in trade includes poems, songs, rapid-fire stories and highly-risqué jokes [mouth like a sewer, Scoop, but splendid all the same] will be dedicating one part of his act to look at Colchester’s much maligned Hythe area.”

And hurrah for that.

Anyone who caught Sir Nartin’s Upstairs event at the start of the summer will recognise the randomness and radiance from Wivenhoe’s finest. Cakes - oh yes - comes your way once again from the scrumptious Well Bread local Wivenhoe cake emporium.

W*5 etc: Sir Nartin, filth and fun, Greyhound, pleasure, 20th August, 3pm. £4 on the door.

But it’s not all about the poetry and fine pastries. I’m a firm believer that you can pace the heartbeat of a town (blimey) by the success of its sporting teams.

Hang on…

Success for Tennis Club.

We’re not talking about Brightlingsea, either:

“Wivenhoe Town Tennis Club has gone from strength to strength this summer, enjoying a very successful season. With some matches still to be played, the men’s team has secured promotion from the 2nd to the 1st Division of the Colchester and District League, while the ladies’ team has secured promotion from the 3rd to the 2nd Division.”

Golden days up at Broad Lane it seems. Make the most of those memories.

Wivenhoe Memories Exhibition.

Seamless, Jase. Seamless.

“Local maritime history will be strongly featured at the forthcoming Wivenhoe Memories Exhibition to be held later this month. Maritime history covered will date back to the late 1500′s, and there will also be a display of model boats of the Seaplane and Wivenhoe Flyer.

Also on display will be numerous old photographs of local families, plus census reports dating back to 1841. Once again this annual event will be organised by local resident John Stewart, and it will be held at the William Loveless Hall [where else] over the August Bank Holiday weekend.”

The Bakehouse gets a charming piece of advertorial on page 8. Not exactly a filler, but worthy praise for a local restaurant I continually hear great things about of late. The three-course meal for £15 is something of a filler - and a bargain.

Across the road and:

Great Entertainment at Wivenhoe’s Church Ale Festival.

There’s a tale to be told about the crack PR team that managed to position this piece of wondrous copy in The Chronicle for this month. But I think you’d probably want to hear about the Wivenhoe Church Ale instead:

“Programmes for September’s two day medieval extravaganza - The Wivenhoe Church Ale - will soon be on sale. The family friendly festival is raising money for the maintenance of St Mary’s.”

It is also packing quite a punch in coming up with a hugely ambitious schedule for the weekend of 17th and 18th September.

More over on the ACE website. Much more over on Wiv Chat with the fine Marika.

And finally…

Folk Club - no edition of the esteemed organ of truth and justice would be complete without a plug for the pipe blowers [and SO much more...] up at The Flag and their monthly get-togethers:

“A new musical group whose aim is to help to return to the community some of the many folk songs collected by Ralph Vaughan Williams, Potiphar’s Apprentices [ACE name alert] will be the guest artistes at Wivenhoe Folk Club on 1st September.”

Ya see - I never did doubt Scoop could come up with his Wivenhoe leads with less than twelve hours to go and a slightly giddy tired and emotional outlook to the evening back in The Greyhound.

See you next month. Or next week. Or maybe even tonight.

Your round.