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To the Town Council Offices on Tuesday evening for the NEW quarterly Wivenhoe Neighborhood Action Panel meeting. We may have scaled back the every other month scheduling, but boy - the NEW NAP certainly knows how to pack a few punches.

It wasn’t quite on the same scale of law and order issues around the capital of late, but the situation was tense, not to mention a little comical at times.

With a backlog of issues having built up, I wouldn’t say that it got personal, but OUCH: tense! Tense!! TENSE!!!!

It made the recent Wivenhoe Town Council grudge cricket match against the town team seem like a gentile afternoon of underarm bowling. I fought the law, and the law won.

Not really.

I sat at the back of the chamber, sharing a table with the good Chair of Wiv Soc and scribbled down the volatile agenda that one would expect from issues such as Considerate Parking and Speedwatch, before being politely asked to leave at the end as a “sensitive” issue was about to be discussed.

I hope they weren’t about to talk about the size of my prize courgettes.

But first of all, a disclaimer: this blog post is brought to you in association with the good folk of Essex Police. Not in a brown envelope sort of way, but a black biro endorsement all the same.

Tell It Like It Is, etc - it’s probably best to bring along your writing pen as well.

Whoops.

With a scribe in my hand care of the charming PSCO Louise Neville, I was glad that I didn’t have to revert to memory when recalling the conversation that came out of the first agenda item: Parking.

Oh Lordy.

Park Road still seems to be a problem. Disclaimer: close to home, blah blah blah, but as a non-car owner, I don’t really see what the problem is. Which isn’t really the point of the NAP - we’re all neighbours around here, Comrades.

One man’s Chelsea Tractor mounting the curbside two doors down doesn’t bode well for the sense of community ownership and empowerment on the street where you live. I’m sure m’South London colleagues would agree right now.

Councillor Kraft enquired if it was possible to paint one side of the road with double yellows. The good Chair of Wiv Soc raised the regulation and likely cost. Councillor Ford confirmed that this had been discussed four years ago. Residents were apparently against it.

I was reminded of my first ever NAP appearance, nervously shuffling into the Town Council Offices as the outsider back in those long lost heady days of, um, October 2010.

I was asked about any parking issues concerning my new Park Road patch. I retold the story of being fleeced by the fools at Lambeth Council and having to pay just under £200 for the privilege of parking a removal van outside MY house for one morning only.

Expecting something similar at the other during the Great Escape, contact was made with Colchester Borough Council. I was laughed off the phone when asked if I had to pay to park a van outside MY new home.

Parking in Wivenhoe ‘aint perfect, but I prefer it to what I have experienced elsewhere…

Tensions rose slightly when the good @SgtLouMiddleton was asked about the flyers to promote considerate parking that were pledged at the last NAP meeting. These have been attached to any cars around the town that aren’t parked in a considerate way, but not leafleted through the letterboxes.

It wasn’t quite a Croydon situation developing, but the long arm of the law very politely agreed to make residents more aware of what is expected parking wise.

Ah yes - considerate parking…

The above shouldn’t be capped up, but the below most certainly should.

Confused? Join the club.

The flyers, I believe, are to promote considerate parking - a linguistic term rather than a letter of the law. Considerate Parking however is a paid for initiative that has legal implications.

Wivenhoe has the former, but not the latter; Brightlingsea has both.

Blimey.

A question was asked of the panel as to why Brightlingsea manages to get funding for Considerate Parking, whereas Wivenhoe doesn’t. The political food chain of Town Councils, Borough Councils and County Councils all lead to the same paper chase of the big boys and girls controlling power (and the purse strings) over in Chelmsford.

Further complicating matters is that the local policing team in Wivenhoe can’t give their full support to Considerate Parking, but they are happy to support considerate parking.

Phew.

A Facebook group should be started with the relationship status of: It’s complicated.

Hey hoe.

Here’s something far more positive: Yoof matters within Wivenhoe. I have blogged before about how bloody brilliant the Youth Hub is. It’s not so much the facilities themselves down at the Philip Road Centre, but the sense of community and support from members and volunteers alike.

But that’s all down at the bottom end of the town - what of the top, I hear you ask?

Well…

Wivenhoe Town Council is proposing to develop Henrietta Close. Councillor Cory of the Cross ward is heavily involved and has been adding considerable support. Which is just as well, seeing as though Colchester Borough Council seems to be the only remaining stumbling block in allowing what facilities to be sanctioned.

A re-launch date is being planned for later in the month, coupled in with the putting in place of BRA. Stop sniggering - we’re talking about the resurrection of the Broomfield Resident’s Association.

The project has the expertise backing of the Hub. If the passion can be transferred from the Phillip Road Centre up to Henrietta Close, then the scheme will be an undoubted success.

With the NAP agenda speeding like a lycra clad lout along the Wivenhoe Trail (steady) - whaddya know and it’s only Wivenhoe Speedwatch.

@SgtLouMiddleton very helpfully informed the NAP that this has now been rolled out along Elmstead Road. Essentially the volunteer led scheme involves residents being trained up to use equipment to catch out speeding motorists.

It is not a snooping scheme - all volunteers wear high res jackets and the aim is to prevent, rather than to persecute motorists.

Considerable concern came from the Chair of the NAP, who enquired as to why Speedwatch isn’t quite so speedy in being rolled out around other parts of the town.

Risk assessments are involved, and being purely volunteer led, Speedwatch is always going to rely upon the goodwill and free time of those kindly stepping forward.

It’s got legs, this Big Society lark I tell ya…

I wasn’t sure who was quizzing whom, with some NAP members unhappy about the neglect of other parts of the town.

Tense! TENSE! TENSE!!!!

Oh Lordy.

Councillor Julie Young asked how often Speedwatch is currently put in place - on five occasions over the past three months apparently. The Chair asked where are the other proposed routes? @SgtLouMiddleton wasn’t prepared to volunteer this information.

It was a good point, and one well made. Why would you want to advertise where the Speedwatch scheme is about to be introduced? Accusations were made that closed information was being held back by the police.

Hardly.

@SgtLouMiddleton couldn’t have been more open in recent months in keeping residents informed about his work online. There is a sense however that Speedwatch is possibly slipping off the local agenda.

We then got bogged down slightly in the public nature of the meeting. The bored blogger sitting at the back started to chew on his Essex Police sponsored pen.

A resolution of sorts came when @SgtLouMiddlton agreed to inform the next NAP of which roads have been Speedwatched since the previous meetings, and how may vehicles have been found to be breaking the speed limit.

It was also agreed to publish this data online. ALL online sharing of information has to be a good thing. But not necessarily when it comes to NAP matters.

The bored biro chewing blogger was then politely asked to leave the open meeting, as a sensitive issue was about to be discussed.

Tense! TENSE! TENSE!!!!

And that was just me handing back my pen to PSCO Neville.

Until next time…

You know that the Wivenhoe summer has truly arrived when you have to get out the wellies once again for a short stroll along the Trail and a wade up and down in the glorious estuary mud.

Whoops.

Failing that then there’s always that staunch season signifier of a copy of the esteemed Wivenhoe Society Summer Newsletter to tell you that it’s probably about time to start looking forward to the start of the new football season once again.

Any soul searching for the estuary summer is soon forgotten about, with the proud picture of Front of House winner Jill Bailey proudly displaying her certificate in her seasonal - and not at all waterlogged - summer garden.

Congratulations, Madam. I am in awe of the arrangements of your beautifully laid out borders. Thirty-five entrants took part in the competition. All funds raised will be split between Wivenhoe Helping Hands and St Mary’s.

But it’s not all about letting it hang out at the front. The Message from the Chair delivers the good news that both a Minutes Secretary and an Honorary Secretary have both been sourced for the Wivenhoe Society.

Hurrah!

Or rather the two into one role has been very kindly taken on board by Rachel Allen. Here’s hoping the left and right hand can both meet in the middle.

Not quite rising to full attention, but Mr Chair then raises the issue of Wivenhoe Town Council’s plans to commemorate the Queen’s Jubilee next summer:

“I suspect they may soon be asking for money”

I suspect Mr Chair is correct.

The Wivenhoe Townscape Forum is given a decent write up by Sue Glasspool:

“Good progress is being made. The members of the group have walked every street in Wivenhoe and looked at all open spaces to identify historic buildings, areas, vistas and other assets which could go on our draft local list.”

I wonder if the Townscape Forum has had the good fortune to walk along *cough* Chapel Road of late?

Moving, or walking on in a brisk manner…

Jane Hughes reports on the outstanding success that was Wivenhoe Open Gardens 2011:

“The weekend was sunny and warm, and visitors started arriving early on the Saturday morning to enjoy a splendid show of gardens. There were 28 open in all…

It was great to have several new gardens open, and new ventures represented, such as Transition Town Wivenhoe and Millfields and Broomgrove Schools.

The weekend raised profits of £3,400 which will be divided between St Mary’s Church and the Wivenhoe Society, whose share will be given to Wivenhoe Helping Hands.”

Great things come from green fingers. My prize courgette continues to grow to an unfeasibly large size.

Changes to recycling and rubbish collection days are also highlighted in the newsletter. Police matters are updated with details of the new police.uk site, as well as flagging the 101 non-emergency telephone number.

If you are part of the Wivenhoe twitterati then you could also follow the splendid @SgtLouMiddleton - “handcuffs with humour,” as one online wag observed of late.

Resting her Minutes Secretary and Honorary Secretary role for Wiv Soc, the good Rachel Allen then multitasks to the extreme, with an update on the Helping Hands AGM, of which she is also… Secretary.

Splendid.

“The mission of Helping Hands was reiterated - any job will be considered regardless of age and ability within the bounds of Wivenhoe - and although we cannot directly help with children, we can help with parents who may need some shopping or a prescription collected if their child is ill.

Our band of 42 volunteers [blimey] will attempt a whole range of minor tasks from taking people to doctor’s appointments to putting out bins. We do not operate an emergency service, but there is a dedicated phone line.”

THAT NUMBER AGAIN… 07834 452 764.

In these austere times when we are constantly reminded by gurning fools on TV that “we are all in this together,” it is genuinely nice to be reminded by someone who isn’t gurning, and most definitely isn’t a fool that yep, we really are all in this together and so let’s help each other out.

The Treasurer’s Report breaks down the funding of Wiv Soc and comes to a rather pleasant conclusion:

“Recently we have accumulated a small surplus each year and the Committee thinks that we could donate some money without running our reserves too low.”

The Youth Hub, both primary schools, the Ferry Trust, Christmas lights for the Legion, Helping Hands, Wivenhoe in Bloom, planting trees, replacing notice boards - all have benefited from Wivenhoe locals all being in this together.

“Remembering the aims of the Society, which are to preserve the amenities of Wivenhoe and generally make it a pleasant place in which to live, the Committee would like the views of members on how any money could best be spent.”

Suggestions via email. Inviting gurning fools that we see on TV to have a look around a barren patch of land that should be a new Health Centre, probably isn’t the best use of surplus Society funds.

The new gravel garden located by the Co-op / Jardine / Eyecare Wivenhoe / Bermuda Triangle is featured on p.7:

“The perennial plants were chosen for their propensity to thrive in a sunny, dry spot.”

As for the funding?

“Although there is a restricted budget made available by Wivenhoe Town Council for planting up the floral tubs throughout the town, Wivenhoe in Bloom are managing to pay for additional planting through fund-raising. Their plant stall at the May Fair raised an impressive £320.”

An incredibly generous £250 donation from Jardine has also helped, as has the Wiv Soc contribution of £200.

Some hapless hyperlocal type hails the first six months of the Wivenhoe Forum on p.8. Whaddya mean you haven’t… blah blah blah. Oh - just join. 243 members (and counting…) can’t all be wrong. Or even online bores.

Moira Collett reflects on the first year of Moving Image - twelve months with many ups and down, but overall an incredibly positive place to be after just one year of supporting an independent community cinema in Wivenhoe.

Having had to let go of the “ambitious plans to turn the St John Ambulance Hall in Wivenhoe’s very own cinema,” Moving Image has found a base at the Philip Road Centre. The Lakeside Theatre at the University was also experimented with, although “the audiences were never large enough,” and sadly this will not continue.

Taking Moving Image out into the community with the bicycle powered cinema at the May Fair, screenings at The Station and at the Cricket Club have been highlights. After a short summer break, Moving Image returns on 10th September with The King’s Speech.

Keeping the uplifting mood and what we all need is a picture of a semi-naked Mayor of Wivenhoe teasing all with a fine barrel chest and a towel wrapped around his torso in the style of a handsome Roman warrior.

Cripes.

The fantastic sport that is Mayor Robert Needham poses - in a very decent fashion - outside the newly re-opened outdoor swimming pool up at Broomgrove School:

“The swimming pool was originally built over thirty years ago but inevitably over the years it had fallen into a state of disrepair. The Wivenhoe Society gave £540 towards the pool’s refurbishment costs.

This saw the start of a major fundraising drive. The Broomgrove School’s Association managed to raise over £4,000 to add to £2,000 from the BSA reserves.”

Fine work from local parent and bathroom installer, Leigh Haig from LH Installations, who volunteered to complete the work at no cost. Seeing a semi-naked Mr Mayor in print is but a small price to pay.

And then finally on p.11 we have the New Town Map and Sign story:

“Wivenhoe First, an organisation that promotes local businesses, is responsible for the appearance of a new Wivenhoe map and notice board which has appeared in front of the floral boat outside the public car park.”

And most splendid it looks to. I got lost the other day simply leaving the house and putting the rubbish out. You’ll be telling me that there’s life north of the Co-op next.

Until next time…

It is a sign of the times when your local police station closes and the local copper turns to twitter. A huge congratulations then to @SgtLouMiddleton, the Neighbourhood Sergeant for the Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Policing Team.

Lou has signed up to the social media platform and instantly opened up his work to the local community. 140 characters is no substitute to visible community policing, something that the good Sgt and his team already carry out around the town.

As Lou’s twitter profile also so rightfully states, twitter isn’t the correct platform in which to contact the police concerning a crime:

“Please don’t report crime here - use 999 if urgent or 0300 3334444.”

Something tells me that Lou has recently completed some form of social media training. His wonderful use of the service over the past week is a textbook example in how to engage with Wivenhoe locals, both online and offline.

All the basic twitter etiquette is in place - hashtags, @replies and returning the follow favour to anyone who shows an interest in the @SgtLouMiddleton account.

But it is the way that Lou has used his twitter account to keep in touch with local people that is twitter perfection personified.

Plus I rather like the way in which the old Nottage building and the Black Buoy have been used as the background image.

On a #hyperlocal level and this is a really significant moment. There is already a growing twitter presence around the town, with local folk using the service to make contact online, and then to organise offline co-operation and activities.

Having a very public figure participating in this process has to be a tremendous step forward. The next move would be to try and encourage all four of our Colchester Borough Councillors to become involved, and hopefully the Wivenhoe Town Councillors as well.

Twitter is all about the network and conversation - who you follow and who follows you. People often ask me who should I follow?

Well…

I’ve made a Wivenhoe list of local people that I am aware of. Please do let me know if you want to be included. My advice is usually to have a look at who I am following, and then see who my followers are following. An offline connection is normally already in place.

As Lou has been demonstrating – twitter is not a broadcast medium: it is a place for conversation and dialogue. This works rather well in Wivenhoe.

And so welcome @SgtLouMiddleton to twitter. Not wanting to go into #hyperlocal hyperbole, but this is a very welcome moment for Wivenhoe. Twitter is only the means to the end - the local conversation that then follows is more significant.

Time to clear up a little bit of the mess left over from May Fair - first with the very practical clean up of the KGV, and then to clean up some of the fallout that has followed.

I returned to the site early on Tuesday morning to lend a hand with the great clean up. It was good to see a dedicated local team of volunteers, all doing the litter picking thing. Wivenhoe Town Council had bin bag representation as well. Fine work, Sir.

What followed was a sweep of the site - not in the same *ahem* style that the police swept the KGV the afternoon before if some of the sensationalist reporting from our friends @The Gazette are to be believed - but a sweep of all the bottle tops, fag ends and dog water bowls.

Blimey.

For all the sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll, the most exciting item I found was a hand written recipe for home made soup. University of Essex playing cards (eh?) appeared all over the place, usually torn to shred and scattered over the green and pleasant land as some form of academic confetti.

Future leaders, I tell you. Future leaders…

A mid-morning coffee break with the other KGV scavengers, and I stood to attention on hearing how Viagra had been found somewhere close to the Sunrise Stage. That’s about as rock ‘n roll as the May Fair gets, Comrades.

For all the pre-May Fair publicity of being glass free, the most time consuming part of Tuesday morning was picking out of the ground the blitz of beer bottle tops.

A midday working commitment was calling for me, and so I couldn’t put in the hours of volunteer dedication displayed by others. A return to the site early evening, and it appears that the KGV has actually been left in a cleaner condition than when it was handed over at the start of the May Fair weekend.

Fantastic work - a huge credit to the May Fair Committee.

Ah, but what of the other clean up, I hear you ask…

Well - let’s clear up some of the rumours and fall out that has followed from May Fair.

Depending on who you speak to, what you read and which pub you drink in, Wivenhoe was either besieged by an angry mob intent on rioting and having a running battle with the police over the weekend, or a little local difficulty followed when some kids who couldn’t take their lager shandies got lost in the wood whilst out on a teddy bear’s picnic.

The truth, as ever, lies somewhere in-between. I have approached the May Fair Committee for an official clarification, and to their credit, this is being prepared, once the full facts emerge.

What I do understand however is that two main trouble spots flared over the weekend. The Wivenhoe Forum is proving to be a very useful place for local dialogue and to look for future ways forward for the May Fair.

Here’s what I posted in relation to the May Fair flash points:

“I’ve been speaking with a number of sources around the town that I trust. My understanding is that apart from the wonderful music, the fantastic weather and the general community feel towards the top of the field, two separate situations developed.

A number of very young kids got very drunk in the Wood. This was out of sight of security, and come 4-5pm, it all got very messy. Safety concerns were an issue - some of these kids were out of it on booze. The police took the decision to move in to the woods so that any of the kids in trouble could be seen to.

I have been told that Sgt Lou Middleton played a very key and sympathetic role here, putting in place a policy of community policing of the very highest order. No arrests were made because the ‘offence’ was being young, being drunk and being silly. We’ve all done that. Instead, phone calls were made to parents and harsh words were spoken. Giving young local kids a police record is not a great start in life.

The second situation was not May Fair related, but took place outside of the town. Two Colchester gangs had pre-arranged to meet. This was nothing to do with the May Fair, and I believe that the police have confirmed as much to the May Fair organisers. It is the equivalent of football thugs pre-arranging a knock about outside football grounds.

Sadly the police helicopter was required, seeing as though the trouble was taking place around the town. The effect of this was to amplify the sense of danger or trouble. You could be sitting at home up towards the Cross and hear a police helicopter buzzing over and thinking that it was all May Fair related.”

Reporting in @The Gazette led with the problems, rather than focus on the success story of May Fair:

“Officers in riot gear, police dog handlers and the force helicopter were called to Wivenhoe May Fair when trouble erupted at the event.

Police say hundreds of youths drinking near to the even began causing problems at around 5pm. Police say order was soon restored, but that three people were arrested.”

Tell It Like It Is, but leave out the charity effort, the community led organising and the vast majority of May Fair folk that went away smiling.

What follows online is a slightly random debate as readers of @The Gazette take issue with the reporting, as well as some locals voicing concern about the policing for this year. I personally prefer the useful discussion over on the Wivenhoe Forum and ideas for the way forward.

And so hopefully Wivenhoe has come clean. The KGV has been handed back as a functioning public space, and some useful dialogue is taking place between the organisers and the community about the way forward.

It is right to be patient to hear from the police and the report that is currently being prepared - likewise with the official response from the May Fair Committee.

It’s good to come clean.

To the Town Council offices on Tuesday evening for the April Wivenhoe Neighborhood Action Panel meeting. I was in good company as well - with 5th May and polling day rapidly approaching, it was encouraging (and not surprising) to see a raft of local politico types from the red and blue side of the great divide, all squaring up around the Town Council table and talking complete twaddle.

Whoops - wrong Borough / Town.

This is Wivenhoe etc. We are overtly political with a small c (and it doesn’t stand for what is use to do back in m’South London days, Comrades…)

Ah, but wait - what’s this? It’s only the Deputy Speaker of the House of Lords entering the Wivenhoe Town Council chamber.

Cripes.

Esteemed company indeed, with Mr Deputy substituting the political hot potato of Westminster for parking, pedestrians and dog pooh in Wivenhoe.

It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

One by one, and jaws dropped in the Wivenhoe food chain of politico hierarchies. We had Wivenhoe Town Councillors, Colchester Borough Councillors and Essex County Councillors all present. The top trump of them all was the Deputy Mr Wig, here in an observation role, to see how local policing works.

Lovely to have you here in the Hoe, kind Sir. I hope that this little slice of local democracy compared well to the day job back in the chamber.

And so what of this little slice of local democracy, Comrades?

Um…

Arriving ever so slightly fashionably late, I interrupted the good Chair in full flow, who was about to abandon the Wivenhoe NAP. Well, not quite, but certainly a common sense scaling down of the current schedule of meeting every couple of months.

The reasoning? Parking (and not dog pooh) dominates the NAP agenda. In these austere and uncertain of economic times (I noted Mr Deputy making a note of this) there is very little dosh in the Essex County Council budget to implement any NAP arrangements.

I’m sure we’d all rather be back at base, watching Eastenders, or whatever it is that local politico and community types do of a spare Tuesday evening.

The rubber stamp of the long arm of the law was required to pass this motion. A quick look around the council table and we appeared to be in a state of anarchy in Wivenhoe. Law and order was absent.

And then with perfect Keystone Cops comedy timing… ‘evening all.

‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello - what have we here then? It’s only the very decent Sgt Middleton and PC Bond arriving at the scene of the non-crime. Protocol was observed; NAP resolved to meet once a quarter. Back to the cops and robbers on Eastenders then.

But first a brief run through of what was left on the NAP agenda. With all but one item relating to traffic, Mr Chair asked if there were any objections in not having to sit through a car crash of a NAP agenda, debating transport issues when there is plenty of political will, but not much economic capital.

Essex County Councillor Julie Young added a positive update to the transport agenda. The lady’s not for turning (steady) but a u-turn of sorts by Essex County Council was passed on from our Colchester representative.

A new parking initiative has been set up, roughly slicing the county between the north and the south. With Sunny Colch holding the power base in the north, all parking provision will be channeled through the Oldest Recorded.

This was implemented on 1st April (no kidding…) and is still being worked out at a County level as to how it will actually work at a #hyperlocal level. There is new funding however to be used for any outstanding parking issues. We may be political with a small c in here in Wivenhoe but our PARKING PROBLEMS are so bad that I have typed them in CAPS.

See what I did there?

The very decent NAP Chair suggested that if *any* funding comes our way, it should be put to use in resolving the continued parking congestion around Tesco.

Wwwwhat…?

Hang on - Tesco?

Yep - here in Wivenhoe. It seems that Londis / One Stop is about to be re-branded as Tesco. One Stop is simply the badge name anyway for what marketing types call a white label version of the brand.

Basically it means that the brand is toxic in a little local community, and so it gets a new name. It’s a bit like the Royal family pretending that they’re not really a bunch of bierwust biters. Except here in Wivenhoe, the brand is about to bite back. Tesco here we come.

Oh Lordy.

Such semantics shouldn’t lose track of the main traffic issue here: parking outside One Stop is a pain. Putting a new sign above the shop front ‘aint gonna solve the issue.

What we need is a #hyperlocal campaign; perhaps a budding local type with good intentioned politico ambitions to, y’know, start a petition.

Ah - lookey here - sitting to my left (and not my Left) was the very charming Mo Metcalfe Fisher, the Conservative candidate for the Wivenhoe Cross ward in the forthcoming Colchester Borough Council local elections.

Parking is an issue that Mo has addressed. If he can convince Essex County Council that the £30k needed to fob off BT and the like to implement a better parking scheme is worthwhile, then he deserves the job of, um, Deputy Speaker in the House of Lords.

And so having resolved not to talk about parking, the NAP then talked about parking and other car related matters: Blink and you’ll miss it - it’s only Speed Watch as the next agenda item…

There is some genuinely good news to report here. The Chair raised this issue at the recent meeting of NAP heads (something which I have been called once or twice in my time.)

Authorisation has now been given for the local team of trained volunteers to venture out on to Elmstead Road and point their pointy equipment at any speeding motorist. The only reason that this has not happened sooner is because of the recent road works.

Any passing motorist (or even cyclist) speeding up to Broad Lane best watch out as from now on. The Cross and Rectory Road are next up on the radar for the Speed Watch folk. Councillor Steve Ford chipped in with the suggestion of Bobbits Way in his Quay ward to also be under the Speed Watch consideration.

A debate then followed about exactly when this will all commence. Wearing my civic hat and I’m not going to tell you - the whole point is to catch out any boy racers / girl cyclists. Actually a date hasn’t been set; but it may be tomorrow. Or the day after. Or perhaps after the Royal Wedding? Well, sometime before the next NAP anyway.

Officially signed off under: PROGRESS.

Sgt Middleton then updated briefly on the continued search for any Emerging Communities in Wivenhoe. Nope - nothing; just an exiled South London blogger.

Any Other Business had a local resident raising the issue of unwelcome ball games being played by young folk around Henrietta Close up towards the top of the town. It started off as one of those provincial local matters that must have had Mr Deputy Speaker from the House of Lords scratching his ceremonial wig.

But this was a very real issue for the local resident, who articulated her case well, and developed the matter to become more of a concern about the bureaucracy of red tape at a very #hyperlocal level of governance.

Who do you turn to? The NAP? Turns out not, according to the NAP members. WTC? Colchester Borough Council? Essex County Council? The police?

All agencies have been approached, yet still the problem exists. This discussion was played out to a Carry On Red Tape conclusion. We even had a *shhh* Labour member praising Dave’s #bigsociety.

Blimey.

We soon got back on track with another AOB Q on Considerate Parking - or more to the point, why did the NAP rule out implementing a considerate parking scheme, as has been put in place over in Brightlingsea?

Sgt Middleton pointed out that he doesn’t want to tie up his staff with admin matters. A good point, and well made. A lively discussion followed, once again demonstrating that if the NAP is only in place to discuss parking, little will be resolved.

And so that was the April NAP done and dusted, and just about in time to catch Eastenders back at base. It wasn’t quite the soap opera I expected (NAP, not Eastenders) and there wasn’t exactly a cliffhanger at the end.

We’re very conservative with a small c in Wivenhoe. Mr Deputy Speaker would no doubt agree.