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To the Town Council Offices on Tuesday evening for the NEW quarterly Wivenhoe Neighborhood Action Panel meeting. We may have scaled back the every other month scheduling, but boy - the NEW NAP certainly knows how to pack a few punches.

It wasn’t quite on the same scale of law and order issues around the capital of late, but the situation was tense, not to mention a little comical at times.

With a backlog of issues having built up, I wouldn’t say that it got personal, but OUCH: tense! Tense!! TENSE!!!!

It made the recent Wivenhoe Town Council grudge cricket match against the town team seem like a gentile afternoon of underarm bowling. I fought the law, and the law won.

Not really.

I sat at the back of the chamber, sharing a table with the good Chair of Wiv Soc and scribbled down the volatile agenda that one would expect from issues such as Considerate Parking and Speedwatch, before being politely asked to leave at the end as a “sensitive” issue was about to be discussed.

I hope they weren’t about to talk about the size of my prize courgettes.

But first of all, a disclaimer: this blog post is brought to you in association with the good folk of Essex Police. Not in a brown envelope sort of way, but a black biro endorsement all the same.

Tell It Like It Is, etc - it’s probably best to bring along your writing pen as well.

Whoops.

With a scribe in my hand care of the charming PSCO Louise Neville, I was glad that I didn’t have to revert to memory when recalling the conversation that came out of the first agenda item: Parking.

Oh Lordy.

Park Road still seems to be a problem. Disclaimer: close to home, blah blah blah, but as a non-car owner, I don’t really see what the problem is. Which isn’t really the point of the NAP - we’re all neighbours around here, Comrades.

One man’s Chelsea Tractor mounting the curbside two doors down doesn’t bode well for the sense of community ownership and empowerment on the street where you live. I’m sure m’South London colleagues would agree right now.

Councillor Kraft enquired if it was possible to paint one side of the road with double yellows. The good Chair of Wiv Soc raised the regulation and likely cost. Councillor Ford confirmed that this had been discussed four years ago. Residents were apparently against it.

I was reminded of my first ever NAP appearance, nervously shuffling into the Town Council Offices as the outsider back in those long lost heady days of, um, October 2010.

I was asked about any parking issues concerning my new Park Road patch. I retold the story of being fleeced by the fools at Lambeth Council and having to pay just under £200 for the privilege of parking a removal van outside MY house for one morning only.

Expecting something similar at the other during the Great Escape, contact was made with Colchester Borough Council. I was laughed off the phone when asked if I had to pay to park a van outside MY new home.

Parking in Wivenhoe ‘aint perfect, but I prefer it to what I have experienced elsewhere…

Tensions rose slightly when the good @SgtLouMiddleton was asked about the flyers to promote considerate parking that were pledged at the last NAP meeting. These have been attached to any cars around the town that aren’t parked in a considerate way, but not leafleted through the letterboxes.

It wasn’t quite a Croydon situation developing, but the long arm of the law very politely agreed to make residents more aware of what is expected parking wise.

Ah yes - considerate parking…

The above shouldn’t be capped up, but the below most certainly should.

Confused? Join the club.

The flyers, I believe, are to promote considerate parking - a linguistic term rather than a letter of the law. Considerate Parking however is a paid for initiative that has legal implications.

Wivenhoe has the former, but not the latter; Brightlingsea has both.

Blimey.

A question was asked of the panel as to why Brightlingsea manages to get funding for Considerate Parking, whereas Wivenhoe doesn’t. The political food chain of Town Councils, Borough Councils and County Councils all lead to the same paper chase of the big boys and girls controlling power (and the purse strings) over in Chelmsford.

Further complicating matters is that the local policing team in Wivenhoe can’t give their full support to Considerate Parking, but they are happy to support considerate parking.

Phew.

A Facebook group should be started with the relationship status of: It’s complicated.

Hey hoe.

Here’s something far more positive: Yoof matters within Wivenhoe. I have blogged before about how bloody brilliant the Youth Hub is. It’s not so much the facilities themselves down at the Philip Road Centre, but the sense of community and support from members and volunteers alike.

But that’s all down at the bottom end of the town - what of the top, I hear you ask?

Well…

Wivenhoe Town Council is proposing to develop Henrietta Close. Councillor Cory of the Cross ward is heavily involved and has been adding considerable support. Which is just as well, seeing as though Colchester Borough Council seems to be the only remaining stumbling block in allowing what facilities to be sanctioned.

A re-launch date is being planned for later in the month, coupled in with the putting in place of BRA. Stop sniggering - we’re talking about the resurrection of the Broomfield Resident’s Association.

The project has the expertise backing of the Hub. If the passion can be transferred from the Phillip Road Centre up to Henrietta Close, then the scheme will be an undoubted success.

With the NAP agenda speeding like a lycra clad lout along the Wivenhoe Trail (steady) - whaddya know and it’s only Wivenhoe Speedwatch.

@SgtLouMiddleton very helpfully informed the NAP that this has now been rolled out along Elmstead Road. Essentially the volunteer led scheme involves residents being trained up to use equipment to catch out speeding motorists.

It is not a snooping scheme - all volunteers wear high res jackets and the aim is to prevent, rather than to persecute motorists.

Considerable concern came from the Chair of the NAP, who enquired as to why Speedwatch isn’t quite so speedy in being rolled out around other parts of the town.

Risk assessments are involved, and being purely volunteer led, Speedwatch is always going to rely upon the goodwill and free time of those kindly stepping forward.

It’s got legs, this Big Society lark I tell ya…

I wasn’t sure who was quizzing whom, with some NAP members unhappy about the neglect of other parts of the town.

Tense! TENSE! TENSE!!!!

Oh Lordy.

Councillor Julie Young asked how often Speedwatch is currently put in place - on five occasions over the past three months apparently. The Chair asked where are the other proposed routes? @SgtLouMiddleton wasn’t prepared to volunteer this information.

It was a good point, and one well made. Why would you want to advertise where the Speedwatch scheme is about to be introduced? Accusations were made that closed information was being held back by the police.

Hardly.

@SgtLouMiddleton couldn’t have been more open in recent months in keeping residents informed about his work online. There is a sense however that Speedwatch is possibly slipping off the local agenda.

We then got bogged down slightly in the public nature of the meeting. The bored blogger sitting at the back started to chew on his Essex Police sponsored pen.

A resolution of sorts came when @SgtLouMiddlton agreed to inform the next NAP of which roads have been Speedwatched since the previous meetings, and how may vehicles have been found to be breaking the speed limit.

It was also agreed to publish this data online. ALL online sharing of information has to be a good thing. But not necessarily when it comes to NAP matters.

The bored biro chewing blogger was then politely asked to leave the open meeting, as a sensitive issue was about to be discussed.

Tense! TENSE! TENSE!!!!

And that was just me handing back my pen to PSCO Neville.

Until next time…

To the Town Council Office on Monday evening for the first formal meeting of the new Wivenhoe Town Council administration. With four new Councillors sitting around the top table, the pub pecking order etiquette was observed for the seating arrangements:

“Oooh - you can’t sit there, m’ lovely. That’s old Alfie’s seat.”

But old Alfie [MADE UP NAME] is no longer with us, so dip yer bread, young blood.

I strategically took up my place sitting right by the door. You never know when you might want to make an early exist to watch #nffc’s season implode yet again.

Whoops.

Elsewhere around the chamber of fun and it was pleasing to see that all seats in the public gallery were taken. I say ‘public gallery,’ but I of course means the liberal (steady) scattering of chairs around the perimeter of the room.

Was an anarchic late spring Wivenhoe revolution uprising in the air? Um, nope - just the rightly proud family and friends coming along to support the new administration.

D-mob happy and ready to take a well-deserved back seat, Mr Mayor apologised for the non-appearance of the Lady Mayor (impending music duties - that’s fine, Madam) and then listened to a glowing eulogy from Councillor Needham, praising the civic year just passed:

“We made a wonderful decision twelve months ago to elect Councillor Sinclair as our Town Mayor.”

A bottle of something slightly stronger than the Adam’s Ale on the top table was handed over, which will hopefully be sufficient to see Councillor Sinclair through those long Wivenhoe winter nights. A bouquet then followed for the music making Lady Mayor.

It’s a rank old world, this business of local politics - now take up yer seat, kind Sir, back at the opposite end of the table.

In a game of grandee musical chairs, Councillor Needham then took up his place at the top of the table, and the formal handing over of the chains and the Mr Mayor title took place. I have a feeling that the “We made a wonderful decision…” speech will deservedly played out again this time next year.

Continuing the procession of politico titles, behind every great man there has to be a great woman. The new Mr Mayor has two - blimey.

With the (new) Lady Mayor also looking resplendent in the gallery, it was soon time to endorse Councillor Kraft as the new Deputy Mayor for the duration of the political calendar.

A local Wivenhoe league system of sorts is in place, to decide who gets to rise (and fall) with the civic chain. It is almost on par with the election of a new Pope, with the high and mighty having to come to an agreement to endorse a candidate.

It wasn’t quite smoke signals wafting down the High Street and high jinks and rejoicing all the way down to the Rose and Crown, but a three endorsements, one against and “a number of abstentions…” completed the process.

Civic duties complete, back to Civvy Street and the complexes of Town Council business. It is around this point in the evening when a young (ish) blogger usually loses the plot and fails to follow the thread.

I tried to keep up with the constitutional discussion about the Community Working Party, but to be honest, my mind (and iPhone) was elsewhere. Two quick first half goals for Swansea and I trust none of the esteemed Councillors noticed the whispered profanities that almost delayed the important business of the Community Working Party.

As I understand (actually, I don’t) and the issue here was one of adopting a new way of working with committees, chairs and communication. It wasn’t quite as severe as Forest going in 2-0 down at half time (seriously,) but the Town Clerk did interject with:

“What is being proposed is not a valid procedure and I would like this minuted please.”

Blimey.

For the record I also DIDN’T swear in the Council chamber when the second Swansea goal went in, but I wouldn’t mind if that was minuted.

With the WTC constitution changing in June (I think) Councillor Kraft raised concern that three committees are currently without Chairs, following the introduction of a new administration.

Straight off the subs bench and the abundance of new local political talent within Wivenhoe soon served as a stopgap. I don’t suppose any of the four new Bright Young Things of WTC could play up front for Forest whilst they are at it?

As with all new organisations, roles and responsibilities need to be carefully laid out. What followed was a shuffling of the WTC pack, and the allocation of representation on various local and civic organisations. Ah - but who is the joker in the pack, Comrades?

The Colchester Association of Local Councillors role went to Councillor Lodge; Civic Protection was taken by Councillor Needham. Our Public Transport Representative remains the good Peter Kay, Community Safety is covered once again by Councillor Lodge and Councillor Needham will continue his good relations with WivSoc.

Wearing his nautical hat and Councillor Sinclair will represent WTC on the Colne Estuary Partnership. The Wivenhoe Housing Trust will have the fine company of Councillor Needham, the District Board and Facilities Trust role fell to Councillor Lodge, Councillor Kraft sticks with NAP and Wivenhoe in Bloom will have the green-fingered representation from Councillor Richards.

This was very much a putting your house in order meeting for the new administration. Subscriptions were up for renewal next. I thought that the ever keen and eager WivSoc had the tin rattling down to a fine art, what with a door knock and a kindly “pay up, pal” request earlier in the month.

WTC agreed to renew the following subscriptions:

The Essex Association of Local Councillors - £824 per annum - ouch! In return, Mr Mayor stated that WTC gains many official documentation templates that are most useful.

One would hope so, at just under a grand.

Essex Fields and Trusts - £35 pa

The Institute of Crematorium Management - £90 pa (deadly silence…)

The Society of Local Council Clerks - £120 pa

Essex Regional Employers - £130 pa

Direct Information Service (nope, me neither…) £90 pa

Community Management Association - £116 pa. This is the body that grants a licence to enable the running of the Community Mini Bus.

The Council for the Protection of Rural Essex - £29 pa (I wonder which side they bat for as the Environment Agency continues to vandalise our locality?)

The Council for National Allotments - £25 pa and

The Friends of Historic Essex - £10 pa.

Not a great deal of overall expenditure, but there are a lot of local bodies that are making money out of local government. Meanwhile, the Association of Nerdy North Essex Semi-Politico Local Bloggers is about to go back in the red, Comrades - and I’m not talking metaphorical, either.

The minutes for the Annual Town Meeting were then adopted. A lengthy discussion followed about Section 106 money, what it means and why it is important. My understanding is that it is essentially the classic local authority you scratch my back argument: yep, you can build yer mega superstore, but give our community a brown envelope stuffed full of grubby fivers first.

For administrative, political and possibly hyperlocal territorial reasons, the dosh for Wivenhoe is split between the Quay and the Cross. The former obviously benefited greatly with the Cook’s redevelopment 106 money; the latter looks like coming out rather nicely after the University has finished making a mess of Wivenhoe Park with the Knowledge Gateway nice little earner. WTC is in favour of being able to distribute this money WHEREVER it sees fit in the town.

Reports from local political representatives followed. Councillor Julie Young, the Colchester Representative on Essex County Council spoke first.

“I am now no longer the only Labour member at ECC - we have formed a group with the election of another Labour member. I have taken up the position of the Leader of the Labour group.”

Cripes, Comrade: We are all equal, but some are more equal than others, etc.

The hard-working Councillor Young updated with plans for a public footpath leading from Broadfields towards the Football Club:

“This is now the third highest Highways priory in all of Essex. It will be a slow process, but discussions are already in place with the landowner. I am happy to report that relations between the Trust and the Football Club are now much better. The Football Club is welcoming a group of disabled young adults into the clubhouse to use the space as a social area.

Other items updated by Councillor Young included the building of a shelter for students waiting for the Colne bus, congratulating the 20 students volunteers from the University who took part in a recent litter pick, and the promise to look at the faded zebra crossing at The Cross - a point that was raised by a resident at the Annual Town Meeting.

Councillor Young then risked the wrath of the entire Tendring Peninsula by bringing up the Clingoe Hill and the disruption that the Knowledge Gateway is about to bring:

“We are still unsure when the roadworks will begin. It is hoped that these will be completed by the start of the new academic year, which indicates that they should be imminent.”

The newly re-elected Councillor Steve Ford, one of Wivenhoe Quay’s representative at Colchester Borough Council, then addressed the chamber:

“I personally take the Mayor Making process very seriously. Wivenhoe is very lucky in consistently having excellent candidates to fill this role.”

With the past month (and more) spent on the stump, Councillor Ford had little political content to add, although he did remark:

“I thought that my election campaign was going to be dramatic, but it wasn’t so, as it turned out…”

Ouch.

The #workingforwivenhoe fine fella did update on the planning update for nine flats along Rectory Road:

“I have concerns over parking and draining, and have raised these with the Council. The Planning officers agree, and this application will now be heard in front of the Committee.

Valley Road to Bobbit’s Way continues to suffer from potholes and more serious infrastructure damage. I will keep on reminding Highways of this.”

A quick race through the various WTC committee reports, although being a new administration, there was little to report back on. A new picnic bench has been installed in the wood, to replace the one that was sadly vandalised.

Likewise a bench has now been placed on the sea wall, looking out to Rowhedge (although why anyone would want to sit down and actually look out towards Rowhedge is beyond me.)

Councillor Sinclair then reminded WTC about the official confirmation received regarding the continued vandalism of our unique local environment by the Environment Agency:

“We have heard that this work will now be ongoing, with the diggers arriving sometime over the next two weeks. I am sure that our phones will be ringing and WTC will have plenty of complaints from residents.

The work by the EA is an approved policy - all we can do as a council is to refer any complaints to the official literature that we have received.”

Mr Mayor added:

“The EA knows what it is doing.”

Here’s hoping…

A quick refresh of the iPhone, and yep - Forest were still trailing 2-0. Time for a pick me up - time to conclude the first meeting of the new administration with news of what Mr Mayor has planned during his Wivenhoe civic year:

“A tea party (July) Wivenhoe’s Got Talent (cripes - February) and a Tramp’s Supper (come as you are - October.)”

Civic representation is promised at all three events. The tea party sounds charming; Wivenhoe’s Got Talent equally excites and worries me. The Tramp’s Supper is tailor made for many folk around these parts.

Perfect.

To the Town Council offices on Tuesday evening for the April Wivenhoe Neighborhood Action Panel meeting. I was in good company as well - with 5th May and polling day rapidly approaching, it was encouraging (and not surprising) to see a raft of local politico types from the red and blue side of the great divide, all squaring up around the Town Council table and talking complete twaddle.

Whoops - wrong Borough / Town.

This is Wivenhoe etc. We are overtly political with a small c (and it doesn’t stand for what is use to do back in m’South London days, Comrades…)

Ah, but wait - what’s this? It’s only the Deputy Speaker of the House of Lords entering the Wivenhoe Town Council chamber.

Cripes.

Esteemed company indeed, with Mr Deputy substituting the political hot potato of Westminster for parking, pedestrians and dog pooh in Wivenhoe.

It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

One by one, and jaws dropped in the Wivenhoe food chain of politico hierarchies. We had Wivenhoe Town Councillors, Colchester Borough Councillors and Essex County Councillors all present. The top trump of them all was the Deputy Mr Wig, here in an observation role, to see how local policing works.

Lovely to have you here in the Hoe, kind Sir. I hope that this little slice of local democracy compared well to the day job back in the chamber.

And so what of this little slice of local democracy, Comrades?

Um…

Arriving ever so slightly fashionably late, I interrupted the good Chair in full flow, who was about to abandon the Wivenhoe NAP. Well, not quite, but certainly a common sense scaling down of the current schedule of meeting every couple of months.

The reasoning? Parking (and not dog pooh) dominates the NAP agenda. In these austere and uncertain of economic times (I noted Mr Deputy making a note of this) there is very little dosh in the Essex County Council budget to implement any NAP arrangements.

I’m sure we’d all rather be back at base, watching Eastenders, or whatever it is that local politico and community types do of a spare Tuesday evening.

The rubber stamp of the long arm of the law was required to pass this motion. A quick look around the council table and we appeared to be in a state of anarchy in Wivenhoe. Law and order was absent.

And then with perfect Keystone Cops comedy timing… ‘evening all.

‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello - what have we here then? It’s only the very decent Sgt Middleton and PC Bond arriving at the scene of the non-crime. Protocol was observed; NAP resolved to meet once a quarter. Back to the cops and robbers on Eastenders then.

But first a brief run through of what was left on the NAP agenda. With all but one item relating to traffic, Mr Chair asked if there were any objections in not having to sit through a car crash of a NAP agenda, debating transport issues when there is plenty of political will, but not much economic capital.

Essex County Councillor Julie Young added a positive update to the transport agenda. The lady’s not for turning (steady) but a u-turn of sorts by Essex County Council was passed on from our Colchester representative.

A new parking initiative has been set up, roughly slicing the county between the north and the south. With Sunny Colch holding the power base in the north, all parking provision will be channeled through the Oldest Recorded.

This was implemented on 1st April (no kidding…) and is still being worked out at a County level as to how it will actually work at a #hyperlocal level. There is new funding however to be used for any outstanding parking issues. We may be political with a small c in here in Wivenhoe but our PARKING PROBLEMS are so bad that I have typed them in CAPS.

See what I did there?

The very decent NAP Chair suggested that if *any* funding comes our way, it should be put to use in resolving the continued parking congestion around Tesco.

Wwwwhat…?

Hang on - Tesco?

Yep - here in Wivenhoe. It seems that Londis / One Stop is about to be re-branded as Tesco. One Stop is simply the badge name anyway for what marketing types call a white label version of the brand.

Basically it means that the brand is toxic in a little local community, and so it gets a new name. It’s a bit like the Royal family pretending that they’re not really a bunch of bierwust biters. Except here in Wivenhoe, the brand is about to bite back. Tesco here we come.

Oh Lordy.

Such semantics shouldn’t lose track of the main traffic issue here: parking outside One Stop is a pain. Putting a new sign above the shop front ‘aint gonna solve the issue.

What we need is a #hyperlocal campaign; perhaps a budding local type with good intentioned politico ambitions to, y’know, start a petition.

Ah - lookey here - sitting to my left (and not my Left) was the very charming Mo Metcalfe Fisher, the Conservative candidate for the Wivenhoe Cross ward in the forthcoming Colchester Borough Council local elections.

Parking is an issue that Mo has addressed. If he can convince Essex County Council that the £30k needed to fob off BT and the like to implement a better parking scheme is worthwhile, then he deserves the job of, um, Deputy Speaker in the House of Lords.

And so having resolved not to talk about parking, the NAP then talked about parking and other car related matters: Blink and you’ll miss it - it’s only Speed Watch as the next agenda item…

There is some genuinely good news to report here. The Chair raised this issue at the recent meeting of NAP heads (something which I have been called once or twice in my time.)

Authorisation has now been given for the local team of trained volunteers to venture out on to Elmstead Road and point their pointy equipment at any speeding motorist. The only reason that this has not happened sooner is because of the recent road works.

Any passing motorist (or even cyclist) speeding up to Broad Lane best watch out as from now on. The Cross and Rectory Road are next up on the radar for the Speed Watch folk. Councillor Steve Ford chipped in with the suggestion of Bobbits Way in his Quay ward to also be under the Speed Watch consideration.

A debate then followed about exactly when this will all commence. Wearing my civic hat and I’m not going to tell you - the whole point is to catch out any boy racers / girl cyclists. Actually a date hasn’t been set; but it may be tomorrow. Or the day after. Or perhaps after the Royal Wedding? Well, sometime before the next NAP anyway.

Officially signed off under: PROGRESS.

Sgt Middleton then updated briefly on the continued search for any Emerging Communities in Wivenhoe. Nope - nothing; just an exiled South London blogger.

Any Other Business had a local resident raising the issue of unwelcome ball games being played by young folk around Henrietta Close up towards the top of the town. It started off as one of those provincial local matters that must have had Mr Deputy Speaker from the House of Lords scratching his ceremonial wig.

But this was a very real issue for the local resident, who articulated her case well, and developed the matter to become more of a concern about the bureaucracy of red tape at a very #hyperlocal level of governance.

Who do you turn to? The NAP? Turns out not, according to the NAP members. WTC? Colchester Borough Council? Essex County Council? The police?

All agencies have been approached, yet still the problem exists. This discussion was played out to a Carry On Red Tape conclusion. We even had a *shhh* Labour member praising Dave’s #bigsociety.

Blimey.

We soon got back on track with another AOB Q on Considerate Parking - or more to the point, why did the NAP rule out implementing a considerate parking scheme, as has been put in place over in Brightlingsea?

Sgt Middleton pointed out that he doesn’t want to tie up his staff with admin matters. A good point, and well made. A lively discussion followed, once again demonstrating that if the NAP is only in place to discuss parking, little will be resolved.

And so that was the April NAP done and dusted, and just about in time to catch Eastenders back at base. It wasn’t quite the soap opera I expected (NAP, not Eastenders) and there wasn’t exactly a cliffhanger at the end.

We’re very conservative with a small c in Wivenhoe. Mr Deputy Speaker would no doubt agree.

Finally, finally and it seems that the 20 mph speed limit for lower Wivenhoe is about to come into fruition. We’ve all seen the small signs from the Railway Bridge and further down towards the Quay; we’ve all seen how they have been covered up with bin bags whilst the politicians and police decide the best way to enforce this measure.

It now seems that the 20 mph zone is coming close to actually being implemented. The Gazette is reporting:

“Parents, drivers and community figures have welcomed the mass introduction of 20mph speed restrictions, despite an objection from the police. Thirty one roads in Wivenhoe look set to have the speed limits implemented in July, after more than two years of campaigning.”

This is an issue that continues to take up much discussion at both WTC and NAP meetings. All of those locally involved have sensed much frustration in the length of timeframe that it has taken for this to happen.

I’m still not sure exactly why The Gazette is running with the story right now; the paper itself even refers to July as the potential date for the zone to become law.

It couldn’t have anything to do with *shhh* the impending local elections, could it?

Oh Lordy…

Essex County Councillor, Julie Young, adds:

“When we added Station Road at the request of the Town Council and local residents, it required traffic management measures to be implemented, but residents objected to that, so they have gone forward with a sign-only scheme.”

I would argue that that it is almost impossible to reach speeds of in excess of 20 mph around most streets in lower Wivenhoe. The recent wall damage to the Old Manse reminds us that speed and traditional sailor cottages don’t mix. Station Road remains the exception.

However, it’s not all happy, happy, joy, joy as Wivenhoe gears up (or down) for the great go slow.

‘ello, ‘ello, ‘ello - what’s all this then?

“Essex Police have objected to the 20mph speed limit in Station Road, part of the main B1028, as it says there should be speed humps in place.”

An Essex Police spokesman is quoted as saying:

“Essex Police have lodged an objection to the proposal for a 20mph speed limit for Station Road in Wivenhoe. Station Road is a strategic road in the town. It has no traffic calming measures and is straight.

We believe introducing a 20mph limit with no additional measures would fail to achieve the desired reduction in speed, therefore failing to meet local residents’ expectations.”

Um, isn’t it the job of the police to enforce the law of the land?

Meanwhile, I remain slightly confused over the difference between a 20 mph zone, and a designated 20′s plenty town. This was debated at the recent WTC meeting, but I’m afraid I got lost on the detail. Any clarification in the comments below would be most welcome.

A WivSoc Wednesday with a difference this week - it’s only the AGM of our lovely local town civic society.

Cripes.

To the Nottage, fashionably late, and not so fashionably dressed. I did make an effort on the nautical front, sporting one of my latest charity shop finds from a recent trip to the Oldest Recorded.

Turns out that I wasn’t alone. For all yer Essex Man jibes, Wivenhoe Man is something of a salty sea dog. I wasn’t the only WivSoc Sir wearing a captain’s sea hat (although I take pride in the knowledge that mine was the biggest.)

Blimey.

But anyway - what of the business end of the WivSoc year? It was all routine stuff, with Mr Chair admirably sticking to the agenda, and sticking it (in a very, very polite way) to anything that might upset the balance of the old meets the new, that makes Wivenhoe such a charming place to live.

I say routine stuff, but when the annual log book for events organised by WivSoc takes in (deep breath…) Open Gardens, wine tasting, the Fun Day, two heritage walks (8th May imminent) two riverbank clean ups (10th April even more imminent) the Craft Fair, the Quayside crabbing, the Colne talk, the post-Christmas party, Hanging Basket competitions, helping out at the Regatta, then you can see how a routine year in Wivenhoe needs some sense of formal organising.

Which is precisely where the incredibly hard working WivSoc committee members come in. The meeting opened with the approval of the previous minutes, plus some fool wearing a silly sea hat walking in halfway through.

Whoops.

Mr Chair’s Report was deliberately brief - new members were made to fee most welcome.

The Secretary’s Report was the opportunity to outline in more detail some of the fine work of WivSoc over the past twelve months. Monitoring and responding to planning applications remains the main priority.

New procedures mean that objections now have to be channelled through Borough councillors, thus further complicating matters. WivSoc wishes to place on the record the support so far offered by Cllr Steve Ford of Wivenhoe Quay ward.

The WivSoc Newsletter was praised, providing members with quarterly updates not only on Society matters, but also locals items of a more general interest. I hear that the next issue has a half-decent front-page pic snapped by some hit and miss photographer.

For a Society that is all too conscience (often too Conscience in my opinion) of the ‘mature’ nature of the membership, it is rather ace to see the modern interweb being explored.

Members’ email updates are sent out when ever a matter of urgency arises. The Secretary highlighted recent issues such as the proposal to build on the land near to Millfields School, the sea wall clearance, Transition Town Wivenhoe updates and the impact of the Knowledge Gateway on the town as recent examples of online dialogue.

Outside of the internal mechanisms of WivSoc and it was also mentioned that the Society has a formal voice at the NAP meetings, the Wivenhoe Townscape Forum (local list) and still my fave ever group, the Wivenhoe Wood Working Party.

A big thank you went out to Cllr Bob Needham for giving up his Wednesday evenings once a month to offer feedback on WTC meetings. Nice hat m’Cllr friend - never mind the length, feel the thickness etc.

The Secretary wrapped up by saying that the WivSoc membership continues to grow, as well as observing developments within the town that reflect well for the future of Wivenhoe.

Helping Hands, Moving Image, TTW and *cough* the Wivenhoe Forum - all of these are positioned well to help out in Wivenhoe as we face what is likely to be unstable economic times ahead.

Speaking of all things fiscal - it’s only the WivSoc Treasurer’s Report…

The Society’s finances are “healthy.” Let’s leave it at that. Well, not quite… A *shhh* three figure surplus was made in the last financial year. No deficit deniers upstairs at the Nottage on Wednesday night.

£200 was donated towards Wivenhoe in Bloom. All social events made a profit. The increase in membership numbers covers the running cost of WivSoc.

Thanks were rightfully given to our friends from Rollo Estates, Eyecare, the Co-op and EWS skip hire, for very kind sponsorship and support over the year.

Chair’s Q & A simply put out the request for any tree expert within Wivenhoe to step forward. Help is needed in identifying any trees in the town that might need a little TLC. Having accidentally managed to floor one in my own back garden after only three months of living here, I thought it best not to volunteer.

The election of officers followed, with the motion to keep subscription rates as the same level also passed.

Any Other Business?

Um, booze?

Almost. Time first for a splendid talk by Anthony Roberts, the esteemed Artistic Director @ColchesterArts. With a #hyperlocal artistic history boasting Francis Bacon (sort of,) the Lakeside (not quite Wivenhoe) and the grand plans for the old Engine Shed (um…) Anthony was preaching to the converted.

We heard a wonderful social history of the old building, covering a barely plausible Humpty Dumpty reference, and leading up to the opening of the ace arts space in 1980.

Anthony then spelt out his vision for @ColchesterArts to champion new and emerging talent. The importance of online culture was emphasised, with a brilliant explanation of how the modern interweb has helped the centre to build new communities and change the artistic experience.

And then it was time for booze. Except @AnnaJCowen and I took something of a liking to the food first, and didn’t really move away from the buffet table. Some charming conversations followed, and then soon it was chucking out time at The Nottage.

No worries - we stopped off at the Rose and Crown and necked eight pints of Carlsberg each, and were back at base in time for the Ten O’clock News.

Only joking. It was the Eleven O’clock News. Fashionably late, and timing has never been my strong point. Nice nautical hat though.