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Serving Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe and Nearby Villages, the simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play that is The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is with us once again.

Hurrah!

It’s a cracking read in The Chronicle once again this fortnight. With those out of towners @TheGazette getting it all so very wrong over the May Fair story, it is pleasing to see local scribe Scoop Scarpenter present a Tell It Like It Is approach to local news reporting.

But first - how’s about a pic of a handsome chap wearing a gold chain, grinning out at you from the front cover?

Oh goody.

The Towns’ New Mayors is the lead, with a nice photo (taken by a hit and miss snapper) of Councillor Needham, the new Mayor of Wivenhoe:

“Born and bred in Wivenhoe, Robert Needham is now starting his third year on Wivenhoe Town Council. He is a former police dog handler and Sergeant, serving with Essex Police over a period of 30 years, and later becoming Community Operations Manager for Colchester Borough Council.”

He also runs a tight ship when it comes to chairing meetings, not to mention being a charming host at Open Gardens.

The Chronicle also documents Mayor Needham’s work on the severe weather policy for the town, as well as his role in helping to set up Helping Hands in the town.

“Wivenhoe is certainly diverse.”

We wish him well..

Likewise for Radio Wivenhoe, the new online broadcasting station that has been set up down at the Business Centre, which gets the p.2 treatment. Mr Mule writes:

“Wivenhoe now has its own radio station which will go live in early July. The station was initially the idea of Jerry Davis, who’s long harboured ambitions to create a radio station in the area.”

The Chronicle reports how forty volunteers turned up at The Greyhound last week to express an interest. The medium term plan is to apply for a community radio licence in 2013.

“Many of the volunteers seemed to be of the opinion that insufficient radio airtime was being allocated to forms of music outside of mainstream tastes. A majority of people at the meeting thought that Wivenhoe had the flair and breadth of talent to eventually create a radio station tailored to the town’s own needs.”

Not ‘arf.

The first Wiv Chat recording with a hit and miss *ahem* broadcaster has already been lined up for this week.

Blimey.

“For listeners, Radio Wivenhoe can be found at www.radiowivenhoe.co.uk. The email address is [email protected].”

You could even try [email protected]

Cripes.

Keeping with the Chronicle's catchy headlines, Independent Booksellers Week of Activities once again Tells It Like It Is:

“A number of activities for people of all ages will be organised in Wivenhoe as part of the Independent Booksellers Week. Run locally by the ever enterprising [and then some] Wivenhoe Bookshop, events start on 17th June at 6:30pm with a book launch of Truth or Dare, a collection of short stories.”

The Bookshop’s brilliant blog contains further… reading. Plus this might be an apt occasion to publish once again the first of hopefully many more @audioboo’s to come from the Bookshop.

Local scribe and all round good chap, Ben Thomas (@Heskey1992) writes an ACE May Fair round up on p.6: Musical May Fair Never Fails to Entertain.

Ben covers all three main stages, taking in the commanding Ady Johnson, the rising local star Lou Terry and even the festival favourite, the bonkers Mr Sonic Manipulator.

“This year’s event has certainly left the large crowd pleased with the musical performances. Individuals who had travelled from across the country and further afield had nothing but positive reviews about the year’s entertainment.”

A separate news story on p. 11 runs with:

“Disturbances Break Out at the May Fair“

It’s a clever journo trick played by Scoop, and one that the likes of @The Gazette would do well to learn from. May Fair 2011 was mainly about the music. You can’t cover up the police presence towards the end, but this wasn’t the headline news here.

“By mid afternoon there appeared to be a number of drunken youths acting aggressively and there were reports of bottles being thrown at members of the public and also fights breaking out in the field, in the adjacent wooded area, and also in The Avenue, Wivenhoe.

After calls were made to the police, two officers at first arrived, but by 6pm more than 40 police officers had been deployed to Wivenhoe to handle the various incidents.”

Hardly the “hundreds of youths” that @TheGazette got slightly over-excited with in its irresponsible, and inaccurate, reporting.

The Chronicle continues:

“A 20 year-old man from Marks Tey had been arrested prior to the main disturbance on suspicion of being drunk and disorderly and has since been charged with this offence and two offences of criminal damage.

Two 15 year-old boys were arrested just before 8pm on suspicion of assault and they have been bailed until 17th July while enquiries continue.”

Tell It Like It Is.

Meanwhile, the Battle of the May Fair makes for sombre reflection. Time to plan for 2012…

Moving on…

Who fancies an evening covering “immigration, religion, Zionism, Islamic jihad and the ongoing problem of people who are not yet middle class?”

Cripes.

Liam Mullone will bring all the above of to Wivenhoe during his performance at the Funny Farm at the Cricket Club 30th June. The Chronicle also reports Juliet Meyers and David Hannant are also appearing.

Meanwhile:

“Have you thought about joining the scouting adventure as a leader?”

Um…

p.7 carries the very urgent need for Wivenhoe Scouts to recruit a new scouting top dog. Further details via [email protected].

Ivan Sage writes a lovely review on p.10 of Wivenhoe’s ADP Theatre School’s production of Around the World 2 - Return Ticket, recently performed in Clacton. The show heads to the Charter Hall in Colchester on 25th June.

Local legends The Medlars meddling at Wivenhoe Folk Club on 7thJuly at The Flag are featured on p. 12; sharing the space is mention of the Helping Hands AGM at the Sailing Club on 16th June at 7:30pm. New volunteers welcome…

Now Hear This:

“The Hearing Care Centre will be holding its next Wivenhoe Open Day on 29th June at Wivenhoe Eyecare Opticians, 1 Belle Vue Road. Free, no obligation hearing tests and expert-advice on any hearing related problems are available.”

The Spanish Paintings exhibition at the Wivenhoe Gallery gets a plug on p.14, and that as they say is adios from Scoop for the next fortnight.

Fine work, fella.

Putting on my best Simon Cowell evil smirk, and pulling up my trousers so that they rest just underneath my armpits - it’s time for another blog post of Wivenhoe’s Got Talent.

Blimey.

I’ve blogged before about the brilliant singer / songwriter talent of local lad Lou Terry. The young chap’s appearance at the May Fair, and a possible set at the Colchester Free Festival are testimony to my hyperlocal entertainment empire building ambitions.

I like to think in a few years time, Lou will be on MTV - or whatever online platform fits the purpose of the time - with a video shot by Wivenhoe local Sam King.

Yep: Introducing Sam King…

I first came across the talented local filmmaker whilst out on a reccie one Friday night at the Sailing Club. @AnnaJCowen and I were doing the meet ‘n greet, and hopefully sweet talking our way into Sailing Club membership.

By pure chance there was a screening by the banks of the Colne from Sam, showcasing a series of local films that he has shot. The Sailing Club video featured below was introduced as an attempt to try and capture the essence of Wivenhoe sailing.

Mission successful, I would say.

I wanted to hang around for a chat with Sam, find out his local story and then bend his arm about being able to embed some of his fine films on m’blog. The meet ‘n greet (and booze) of the Sailing Club got in the way.

No worries - back at base this week and my twitter stream struck gold with a tweet from @SamKing13245 linking to a local video made all about the May Fair this year.

I told you this Wivenhoe twitterati lark is starting to help make local connections…

Tweets were exchanged, and Sam has very kindly agreed to allow me to showcase some of his work on m’blog. The May Fair film in particular is a rare beast of local cinematic beauty. It is shot with a professional eye, and contains sufficient local knowledge to show an understanding of his subject matter.

Much has been made of the May Fair this year by folk who aren’t really local and should know better. @TheGazette continues to abuse this position of supposed local power, completely overlooking the good news story of the £4,500 raised for charity, and getting turned on instead by the minor, minor scuffles.

Sam instead chooses to look at the community volunteer element to May Fair, He presents a short film that encapsulates to perfection the spirit of May Fair that I found down at the KGV a couple of weeks ago.

If any local organisation is in need of some video work, then I would strongly recommend working with Sam. His work is highly professional, with a local passion to match.

I know that Moving Image has floated the idea of helping to showcase local filmmakers, by perhaps screening some hyperlocal shorts ahead of the main presentations. Sam would seem to fit this suggestion perfectly.

You can subscribe to Sam’s youtube channel over here, or follow him on twitter @SamKing13245. Even better - contact the young chap and see how he can help to bring to life any work that your group or organisation is trying to promote around the town.

So that’s the local singer / songwriter and the filmmaker taken care of. Any young local folk out there care to teach me how to dance?

May Fair 2011 - how was it for you? The music, the conversations and the friendships made it fantastic for me. The police sirens late in the day did put a bit of a downer on the experience. A brief trawl through twitter - that ever reliable and factual source of information - shows that *most* folk at May Fair 2011 came away with sunburns and smiles.

Everyone will have their own unique May Fair stories and experiences. You can’t capture the essence of May Fair in a throwaway blog post - you probably wouldn’t want to either.

May Fair for me was very special. My experiences of the afternoon are unique to me, and this blog post is primarily for my purposes, to capture, document and remember what was something of a rather special afternoon.

Along with @AnnaJCowen and the pneumatic recovering house guest, I came close to being up the wotsit creek without a paddle. We were keen to show the pneumatic recovering house guest the delights of the Rowhedge Ferry. Time and tide wait for no May Fair man. Swimming to the KGV almost became a possibility.

Midday tea in the Rowhedge Heritage Hut was when we first heard the chords strike up across the Colne. Time to board the Ferry back to base, time to join the queue of twenty, thirty, forty ferry passengers, all with the same idea.

Whoops.

The good skipper had the foresight to make short shuttle runs across to Ferry Marsh. But with the water fast disappearing, the roundabout route back to the Quay was required.

We did the mental maths and worked out that we may just make the final sail before the ferry became stranded. The boat had become something of a booze cruise, with Rowhedge folk crossing the Colne with boxes of beer.

Anything to declare, Sir? We really should tax that other lot once they land in Wivenhoe.

Back on dry land and we snaked our way around the station, over the foot bridge and towards the KGV and beyond. By 1pm and it was clear that May Fair 2011 was simply MASSIVE.

We missed local lad Lou Terry up on the Sunrise Stage, such was the effort involved to walk from one end of the KGV to the other. An age demographic was clearly in place - fresh-faced yoof were down towards the rear of the field, with the more mature crowd camping out at the top. I have no shame in stating that I was two thirds up, with a preference to continue the ageing process.

Conversations followed - an ever present smiling Mr Mayor and the Lady Mayor, as well as two separate catch ups with middle aged men whom I usually associate with my semi-naked experiences every morning in a steam room out towards the Hythe.

Hot pants appeared to be the May Fair fashion accessory for this spring. I don’t think I’ve got the legs to carry it off, but then again I would also struggle with the balding Goth look, another fashion favourite for 2011.

Transition Town Wivenhoe, Wivenhoe in Bloom, Moving Image - all the great and good of local groups were out in force. The pneumatic recovering house guest came close to a cure in the Healing Field. I pitched in with a rather random and unexpected offer for work with a local organisation.

I’m not sure what happened to the Main Stage running order, but we took up a strategic position towards the right, just in time to catch the ace @AdyJohnsonUK. A shortened set from Colchester’s finest, but one that seemed perfect for the occasion.

Pink Flamingo peaked as MY May Fair moment. Only a couple of months earlier I had been privileged to catch Ady singing a short secret set @15QueenStreet. Seeing the songs from the Worry Doll album being transferred to the Wivenhoe May Fair, and still working with all the intimacy from earlier, had to be a highlight.

The pneumatic recovering house guest had to head back to the big city, and so our May Fair was cut short around 5pm. We walked back down towards the train station, seeing Wivenhoe Wood become a temporary toilet for the afternoon. Not great but hey - at least the greenery got a well needed watering.

The first police sirens started soon after, and then whilst back at base catching the close of play at the cricket, the helicopter action started. I didn’t personally witness anything, and so I’m not going to let it get in the way of MY May Fair 2011.

However if I were in the HEADLINE act, CAV OK, I’d be pretty peeved to be told at the last minute that the set has been cancelled.

Seeing this rather fine chap below wave us a Wivenhoe farewell is the memory that I would like to leave with.

*Heads up Mr Mule

Full flickr set over here.

OK, Comrades - so here’s the calling card to signify that THE biggest weekend is almost upon us. I have some grubby fivers stashed away in the arse end of my jeans, a fridge full of Special Brew (blimey) and a weekend away ticket back to the mean streets of South London.

Only joking.

There is something of a mini May Fair fringe weekend, dahhhling, becoming established around Wivenhoe this year. Wilds horses wouldn’t keep me away - or even pneumonia, as is the case for a close friend that is coming to recuperate from a recent run of ill health by taking part in the Wivenhoe Run.

Good luck, fella.

But why wait until Bank Holiday Monday for all the madness to begin? The May Fair Fringe (NOT a haircut and NOT a phrase that you would be wise to repeat at The Station come closing time) starts on Thursday.

Where can you look for the highest cultural delights that can be found within Wivenhoe during a weekend when the whole town looks likely to fall over before the Bank Holiday comes crashing down?

How about some poetry?

Cripes.

Poetry Wivenhoe (or is it poetry wivenhoe, poetrywivenhoe or even poetrywivenhoe? These literary adjustments matter to the wordsmiths, apparently…) are putting on The Joy of Six.

I’ll ‘av a bit of that, thank you very much.

“The Joy of Six offer much more than a traditional poetry reading. Their vibrant multivoice performances blend five very different voices and styles into a seamless, unpredictable whole. Their style has been likened to a great jazz quintet, only with voices.”

Upstairs at The Greyhound, and another grubby fiver on the door should gain you entry on Thursday evening from 8pm.

The good folk of the Bookshop are staging the second of their Unplugged nights on Friday. This doesn’t mean a book reading with no words, but a very, very intimate acoustic performance in the back room across the sofa.

Hot Club / Tub Gitane will be performing, ahead of an appearance at the May Fair itself on the Sunrise Stage:

“The extraordinary Hot Club Gitane are purveyors of Manouche Jazz (Gypsy Jazz), and play an intriguing melange of Hot Club de Paris swing (Django / Grappelli) and French / German cafe standards of the 1930s / 1940s (Edith Piaf / Marlene Dietrich).”

Smells Like Teen spirit ropey covers probably aren’t included in the set. My sources tell me that only a few tickets are remaining, on sale at the Bookshop for the bargain price of a fiver.

But it’s not all about Gypsy Jazz.

Phew - Rock’n Roll and all that, which brings us nicely to Saturday evening and the Moving Image screening of The Runnaways. Billed as “an in-your-face look at teenage life and the rock scene in the 1970′s” - the setting of the Philip Road Centre seems perfect.

Essentially the story of Joan Jett, expect sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. But probably not on the back row of the Philip Road Centre.

Assuming that the pneumatic friend is still standing, then it’s time to sit down once again on Sunday afternoon. Moving Image is staging a double bill, a feat in itself that requires stamina of epic rock ‘n roll proportions.

Separado! and Oil City Confidential are being screened, in a carefully thought out mini May Fair season of films that seems to fit the mood perfectly.

But sometimes you just need to get back to the music, man. Which is why I plan to shoot off down The Station (steady) sometime on Sunday evening to catch the very good Mr Mule and friends performing some Beatles covers.

Ace.

“There is a Beatle-ish gig at The Station Hotel, night before the May Fair. Probably about 8 to 8.30. I must point out here, that this is not MY band per se. It’s a fun occasional project. There are five of us, Roddy, Darryl, Dan, Phil and me. What we do, as we did for one night only last Christmas, is to try and recreate about 20 Beatle songs, from the entire canon, 1963 -1969, as accurately as we can.”

Well shake it on baby now, etc.

Which all leaves the rather minor event of May Fair itself on Monday. The line-up of local artists is impressive. Ady Johnson is the rising star of the Sunny Colch circuit. The former Fuzzface singer looks set for wider recognition, and so now is a good time to catch him in Wivenhoe.

CAV OK are a little more than OK, and Housework are a damn hard working and tight funk rock band. Local lad Lou Terry on the Sunrise Stage should also be put aside as a time to take it easy on the Special Brew and appreciate this incredibly special local talent.

Elsewhere around the site (oh OK - the KGV then…) and you’ll find Moving Image and Transition Town Wivenhoe working together and showing a series of locally produced films, all powered by the Revolutionary Pedal Powered Cinema.

The Open Mic stage is brought to you by the same good folk who have made such a success of late of the Open Mic nights down at the Black Buoy. Any local performers wanting to do a turn (oooh) should sign up from midday when the stage opens.

Stalls of course will be aplenty. Some will be selling ethical, worthy and rather worthless tat, but hey - it’s got to be better than a burger van. Some will be selling wonderful local Wivenhoe produce and deserve your loose change (hellooo Wivenhoe in Bloom.)

Others will be selling booze. You should pitch yer tent up here.

If you still want more (more? MORE?) then I’m sure you can navigate your way around to the back door entrances of the well know watering holes around Wivenhoe. I’ve been told that many will have a local’s only policy later in the evening - which may make it a little inbred, but yeah, I’m up for that as well.

And so that’s the Wivenhoe May Fair fringe weekend. If pulling a sickie at 7am on Tuesday morning is required, consider coming down to the KGV at 10am to help out with the clean up.

Oh yeah - *cough* Bowie, Comrades…

Rumours of the demise of the esteemed organ of truth and justice that is The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle are as premature as rumours of the demise of my king size courgette.

Sure, it took a bit of a battering the other day (courgette, not the Chronicle) but both still stand proud and mighty; both equally respected as they are eagerly awaited once a fortnight.

Recent conversations around the town have led to some doubt about the future of The Chronicle. Wivenhoe is built upon rumour and assumptions. If you were to dig a big hole at the foot of Black Buoy Hill, you’d find buried away some of the many myths that have been doing the rounds over the centuries, usually after an afternoon spent boozing away.

Is there a Roman bath along Bath Street? Is Bowie the *shhh* secret headliner for May Fair? Has the Chronicle chronicled local life around these parts for the very last time?

Two out of three ‘aint bad, my lovelies…

And so with a rusty squeak of the old letterbox, and a cheerful smile from Scoop as he wanders off into some magical Wivenhoe kingdom for dreamers and journos: it’s only the May 2011 edition of The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Hurrah!

As is now customary on m’blog, I don’t give a blind man’s buff about those buggers down the road at Brightlingsea. Nice enough folk ‘n all that, but as ever, start yer own b****y hyperlocal blog, Comrades.

And so a turning of the grubby newsprint, and we’re straight in with all the local news and scandal that is fit to print about Wivenhoe. How about starting with The Local Election Results?

Oh Lordy.

Except there wasn’t any seismic change in the local political landscape in the May elections that have just passed. Smiling Councillor Steve Ford continues to smile away down at the Quay, doing his #workingforwivenhoe red flag waving. His Comrade in the Colchester coalition (cripes) - the young man about town Councillor Mark Cory - kept his LibDem seat up at the Cross.

Wivenhoe Town Council meanwhile is left with two spanners short of a full toolbox, with two new Councillors needed for co-option to complete the full quota of thirteen.

Scoop reports:

“At Wivenhoe, Steve Ford, Labour, comfortably retained the town’s Quay ward, securing 1,279 votes, more than double that of his nearest rival, the Conservative candidate Mercedes Mussard [ACE name.]

Waving the simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play, Scoop adds:

“It was an exceptionally good achievement by this particularly active Labour candidate, once described by the Deputy Prime Minister Harriet Harman during one of her visits as being one of the hardest working local councillors in the region.”

Hear, hear (to the hardest working, and not in praise of the fragrant Hattie. Phew.)

But don’t just look at little Wivenhoe; nope - move up the map and towards the bigger picture of the Cross. The Chronicle reports:

“Across much of the country there were dismal results for the Liberal Democrats, but in the Wivenhoe Cross ward, Mark Cory, the young 23 year old candidate [easy, ladies] helped to stem the tide against his party, retaining the seat with the support of 673 votes.”

It of course helped the cause of the “young” Cllr Cory (what is this - a Grace Brothers sitcom?) that the #workingforwivenhoe red flag flying comrades pretty much deserted the locals during the campaign, concentrating on the campus instead.

Whoops.

To complete the local political picture, the Chronicle lead concludes:

“There was no election for places on Wivenhoe Town Council as only ten candidates stood for the thirteen available seats.”

It was actually eleven candidates, but then that simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play probably got lost down a back seat at The Greyhound.

Passing over all the Brightlingsea puff, and then on p.2 we come across:

Art and Poetry in the Trenches.

Walk it like you talk it, Comrades:

“A one day course entitled Art and Poetry in the Trenches, presented by Graham Slimming and Colin Padgett, will be run by the WEA in Wivenhoe next month. This course will be held on 11th June at the Congregational Hall, from 10:30am to 4pm.”

Janice Allen on 824470 secures you a booking.

My eyes were momentarily fixed upon the big blueness that is the advert for Brightlingsea Open Air Swimming Pool as the p.3 pin up. I am historically a man suited to an outdoor aquatic lifestyle. Fifteen summers have been spent swimming in unheated lidos.

I spent one spring afternoon walking past the Brightlingsea Open-Air Pool / oversized duck pond, and thought, nah - that’s no pool, my friends: that’s a large hole in the ground with a bit of a drainage situation.

There’s Plenty of Entertainment at the May Fair [*cough* Bowie] is the p.4 headline. It’s pretty much a run through of the May Fair Committee press release, covering the fact that a rather ace line up including Ady Johnson (see) local lad Lou Terry (MUST see) Cav OK (pals) and Housework (hardest working band in, um, Sunny Colch) will all be helping you to get tired and emotional at the KGV, come Bank Holiday Monday.

Pages 10 and 11 cover a couple of lovely, lovely local stories, which although haven’t been picked up the nationals, they certainly represent the charm and quality in which the Chronicle is so respected for locally.

Hearing Dogs for Deaf People… is all about the Hearing Day Centre which runs a weekly hearing clinic at the lovely Wivenhoe Eyecare. The target of £5,000 has just been reached to help sponsor a hearing dog:

“The centre has been raising funds over several years for Hearing Dogs for Deaf People, through donations from its clients, and larger events such as golf days.”

Meanwhile, Deans’ Nursery and Garden Centre Celebrates Fifty Years of Trading pretty much Tells It Like It Is in the headline for a story with a very proud local Wivenhoe history:

“In the late 1950s two young brothers, having just completed a horticultural course at the Writtle Agricultural College near Chelmsford, started to grow outdoor tomatoes in Wivenhoe. The brothers, Anthony and Steve Dean, son of the Wivenhoe GP, the late Dr William Dean, ran this modest enterprise behind the old cemetery just off Belle View Road.”

The business is now based on the Harwich Road at Great Bromley. It is managed by Sarah Dean, the granddaughter of Dr Dean. It may be a puff piece of advertorial, but it’s a lovely read in The Chronicle, rightfully celebrating half a century of trading from a local business.

An Afternoon Upstairs with Martin Newell on p.12 once again tells you all you need to know. With locally baked cakes being promised upstairs at The Greyhound on the afternoon of 11th June, tickets are selling like… hot cakes. Seriously - get yourself down to the Bookshop for a £4 bargain.

Wivenhoe’s Funny Farm for this Thursday (26th) gets a plug on p.15.

“Headliner is the outrageous Californian comic Scott Capurro, familiar to watchers of 8 out of 10 cats. MC will be Wivenhoe’s very own [and most splendid] Hazel Humphreys. The show starts at the Cricket Club at 8pm with £6 on the door.”

And finally…

Mrs. Ackroyd at the Wivenhoe Folk Club.

Cripes.

“On 2nd June, Wivenhoe Folk Club are hosting Mrs. Ackroyd as their main guests. Mrs. Ackroyd is a band, not a person.”

Blimey.

It is this type of bonkers news in brief that separates the wheat from the chaff, and also separates the exceedingly splendid Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle from some of the crap that gets pushed our way via the nationals.

The Chronicle may be in rude health, but that’s a fine position in which to preach from.

The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is distributed free amongst local households. Additional copies are 25p from local newsagents.