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Serving Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe and Nearby Villages, the simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play that is The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is with us once again.

Hurrah!

It’s a cracking read in The Chronicle once again this fortnight. With those out of towners @TheGazette getting it all so very wrong over the May Fair story, it is pleasing to see local scribe Scoop Scarpenter present a Tell It Like It Is approach to local news reporting.

But first - how’s about a pic of a handsome chap wearing a gold chain, grinning out at you from the front cover?

Oh goody.

The Towns’ New Mayors is the lead, with a nice photo (taken by a hit and miss snapper) of Councillor Needham, the new Mayor of Wivenhoe:

“Born and bred in Wivenhoe, Robert Needham is now starting his third year on Wivenhoe Town Council. He is a former police dog handler and Sergeant, serving with Essex Police over a period of 30 years, and later becoming Community Operations Manager for Colchester Borough Council.”

He also runs a tight ship when it comes to chairing meetings, not to mention being a charming host at Open Gardens.

The Chronicle also documents Mayor Needham’s work on the severe weather policy for the town, as well as his role in helping to set up Helping Hands in the town.

“Wivenhoe is certainly diverse.”

We wish him well..

Likewise for Radio Wivenhoe, the new online broadcasting station that has been set up down at the Business Centre, which gets the p.2 treatment. Mr Mule writes:

“Wivenhoe now has its own radio station which will go live in early July. The station was initially the idea of Jerry Davis, who’s long harboured ambitions to create a radio station in the area.”

The Chronicle reports how forty volunteers turned up at The Greyhound last week to express an interest. The medium term plan is to apply for a community radio licence in 2013.

“Many of the volunteers seemed to be of the opinion that insufficient radio airtime was being allocated to forms of music outside of mainstream tastes. A majority of people at the meeting thought that Wivenhoe had the flair and breadth of talent to eventually create a radio station tailored to the town’s own needs.”

Not ‘arf.

The first Wiv Chat recording with a hit and miss *ahem* broadcaster has already been lined up for this week.

Blimey.

“For listeners, Radio Wivenhoe can be found at www.radiowivenhoe.co.uk. The email address is [email protected].”

You could even try [email protected]

Cripes.

Keeping with the Chronicle's catchy headlines, Independent Booksellers Week of Activities once again Tells It Like It Is:

“A number of activities for people of all ages will be organised in Wivenhoe as part of the Independent Booksellers Week. Run locally by the ever enterprising [and then some] Wivenhoe Bookshop, events start on 17th June at 6:30pm with a book launch of Truth or Dare, a collection of short stories.”

The Bookshop’s brilliant blog contains further… reading. Plus this might be an apt occasion to publish once again the first of hopefully many more @audioboo’s to come from the Bookshop.

Local scribe and all round good chap, Ben Thomas (@Heskey1992) writes an ACE May Fair round up on p.6: Musical May Fair Never Fails to Entertain.

Ben covers all three main stages, taking in the commanding Ady Johnson, the rising local star Lou Terry and even the festival favourite, the bonkers Mr Sonic Manipulator.

“This year’s event has certainly left the large crowd pleased with the musical performances. Individuals who had travelled from across the country and further afield had nothing but positive reviews about the year’s entertainment.”

A separate news story on p. 11 runs with:

“Disturbances Break Out at the May Fair“

It’s a clever journo trick played by Scoop, and one that the likes of @The Gazette would do well to learn from. May Fair 2011 was mainly about the music. You can’t cover up the police presence towards the end, but this wasn’t the headline news here.

“By mid afternoon there appeared to be a number of drunken youths acting aggressively and there were reports of bottles being thrown at members of the public and also fights breaking out in the field, in the adjacent wooded area, and also in The Avenue, Wivenhoe.

After calls were made to the police, two officers at first arrived, but by 6pm more than 40 police officers had been deployed to Wivenhoe to handle the various incidents.”

Hardly the “hundreds of youths” that @TheGazette got slightly over-excited with in its irresponsible, and inaccurate, reporting.

The Chronicle continues:

“A 20 year-old man from Marks Tey had been arrested prior to the main disturbance on suspicion of being drunk and disorderly and has since been charged with this offence and two offences of criminal damage.

Two 15 year-old boys were arrested just before 8pm on suspicion of assault and they have been bailed until 17th July while enquiries continue.”

Tell It Like It Is.

Meanwhile, the Battle of the May Fair makes for sombre reflection. Time to plan for 2012…

Moving on…

Who fancies an evening covering “immigration, religion, Zionism, Islamic jihad and the ongoing problem of people who are not yet middle class?”

Cripes.

Liam Mullone will bring all the above of to Wivenhoe during his performance at the Funny Farm at the Cricket Club 30th June. The Chronicle also reports Juliet Meyers and David Hannant are also appearing.

Meanwhile:

“Have you thought about joining the scouting adventure as a leader?”

Um…

p.7 carries the very urgent need for Wivenhoe Scouts to recruit a new scouting top dog. Further details via [email protected].

Ivan Sage writes a lovely review on p.10 of Wivenhoe’s ADP Theatre School’s production of Around the World 2 - Return Ticket, recently performed in Clacton. The show heads to the Charter Hall in Colchester on 25th June.

Local legends The Medlars meddling at Wivenhoe Folk Club on 7thJuly at The Flag are featured on p. 12; sharing the space is mention of the Helping Hands AGM at the Sailing Club on 16th June at 7:30pm. New volunteers welcome…

Now Hear This:

“The Hearing Care Centre will be holding its next Wivenhoe Open Day on 29th June at Wivenhoe Eyecare Opticians, 1 Belle Vue Road. Free, no obligation hearing tests and expert-advice on any hearing related problems are available.”

The Spanish Paintings exhibition at the Wivenhoe Gallery gets a plug on p.14, and that as they say is adios from Scoop for the next fortnight.

Fine work, fella.

Rumours of the demise of the esteemed organ of truth and justice that is The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle are as premature as rumours of the demise of my king size courgette.

Sure, it took a bit of a battering the other day (courgette, not the Chronicle) but both still stand proud and mighty; both equally respected as they are eagerly awaited once a fortnight.

Recent conversations around the town have led to some doubt about the future of The Chronicle. Wivenhoe is built upon rumour and assumptions. If you were to dig a big hole at the foot of Black Buoy Hill, you’d find buried away some of the many myths that have been doing the rounds over the centuries, usually after an afternoon spent boozing away.

Is there a Roman bath along Bath Street? Is Bowie the *shhh* secret headliner for May Fair? Has the Chronicle chronicled local life around these parts for the very last time?

Two out of three ‘aint bad, my lovelies…

And so with a rusty squeak of the old letterbox, and a cheerful smile from Scoop as he wanders off into some magical Wivenhoe kingdom for dreamers and journos: it’s only the May 2011 edition of The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Hurrah!

As is now customary on m’blog, I don’t give a blind man’s buff about those buggers down the road at Brightlingsea. Nice enough folk ‘n all that, but as ever, start yer own b****y hyperlocal blog, Comrades.

And so a turning of the grubby newsprint, and we’re straight in with all the local news and scandal that is fit to print about Wivenhoe. How about starting with The Local Election Results?

Oh Lordy.

Except there wasn’t any seismic change in the local political landscape in the May elections that have just passed. Smiling Councillor Steve Ford continues to smile away down at the Quay, doing his #workingforwivenhoe red flag waving. His Comrade in the Colchester coalition (cripes) - the young man about town Councillor Mark Cory - kept his LibDem seat up at the Cross.

Wivenhoe Town Council meanwhile is left with two spanners short of a full toolbox, with two new Councillors needed for co-option to complete the full quota of thirteen.

Scoop reports:

“At Wivenhoe, Steve Ford, Labour, comfortably retained the town’s Quay ward, securing 1,279 votes, more than double that of his nearest rival, the Conservative candidate Mercedes Mussard [ACE name.]

Waving the simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play, Scoop adds:

“It was an exceptionally good achievement by this particularly active Labour candidate, once described by the Deputy Prime Minister Harriet Harman during one of her visits as being one of the hardest working local councillors in the region.”

Hear, hear (to the hardest working, and not in praise of the fragrant Hattie. Phew.)

But don’t just look at little Wivenhoe; nope - move up the map and towards the bigger picture of the Cross. The Chronicle reports:

“Across much of the country there were dismal results for the Liberal Democrats, but in the Wivenhoe Cross ward, Mark Cory, the young 23 year old candidate [easy, ladies] helped to stem the tide against his party, retaining the seat with the support of 673 votes.”

It of course helped the cause of the “young” Cllr Cory (what is this - a Grace Brothers sitcom?) that the #workingforwivenhoe red flag flying comrades pretty much deserted the locals during the campaign, concentrating on the campus instead.

Whoops.

To complete the local political picture, the Chronicle lead concludes:

“There was no election for places on Wivenhoe Town Council as only ten candidates stood for the thirteen available seats.”

It was actually eleven candidates, but then that simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play probably got lost down a back seat at The Greyhound.

Passing over all the Brightlingsea puff, and then on p.2 we come across:

Art and Poetry in the Trenches.

Walk it like you talk it, Comrades:

“A one day course entitled Art and Poetry in the Trenches, presented by Graham Slimming and Colin Padgett, will be run by the WEA in Wivenhoe next month. This course will be held on 11th June at the Congregational Hall, from 10:30am to 4pm.”

Janice Allen on 824470 secures you a booking.

My eyes were momentarily fixed upon the big blueness that is the advert for Brightlingsea Open Air Swimming Pool as the p.3 pin up. I am historically a man suited to an outdoor aquatic lifestyle. Fifteen summers have been spent swimming in unheated lidos.

I spent one spring afternoon walking past the Brightlingsea Open-Air Pool / oversized duck pond, and thought, nah - that’s no pool, my friends: that’s a large hole in the ground with a bit of a drainage situation.

There’s Plenty of Entertainment at the May Fair [*cough* Bowie] is the p.4 headline. It’s pretty much a run through of the May Fair Committee press release, covering the fact that a rather ace line up including Ady Johnson (see) local lad Lou Terry (MUST see) Cav OK (pals) and Housework (hardest working band in, um, Sunny Colch) will all be helping you to get tired and emotional at the KGV, come Bank Holiday Monday.

Pages 10 and 11 cover a couple of lovely, lovely local stories, which although haven’t been picked up the nationals, they certainly represent the charm and quality in which the Chronicle is so respected for locally.

Hearing Dogs for Deaf People… is all about the Hearing Day Centre which runs a weekly hearing clinic at the lovely Wivenhoe Eyecare. The target of £5,000 has just been reached to help sponsor a hearing dog:

“The centre has been raising funds over several years for Hearing Dogs for Deaf People, through donations from its clients, and larger events such as golf days.”

Meanwhile, Deans’ Nursery and Garden Centre Celebrates Fifty Years of Trading pretty much Tells It Like It Is in the headline for a story with a very proud local Wivenhoe history:

“In the late 1950s two young brothers, having just completed a horticultural course at the Writtle Agricultural College near Chelmsford, started to grow outdoor tomatoes in Wivenhoe. The brothers, Anthony and Steve Dean, son of the Wivenhoe GP, the late Dr William Dean, ran this modest enterprise behind the old cemetery just off Belle View Road.”

The business is now based on the Harwich Road at Great Bromley. It is managed by Sarah Dean, the granddaughter of Dr Dean. It may be a puff piece of advertorial, but it’s a lovely read in The Chronicle, rightfully celebrating half a century of trading from a local business.

An Afternoon Upstairs with Martin Newell on p.12 once again tells you all you need to know. With locally baked cakes being promised upstairs at The Greyhound on the afternoon of 11th June, tickets are selling like… hot cakes. Seriously - get yourself down to the Bookshop for a £4 bargain.

Wivenhoe’s Funny Farm for this Thursday (26th) gets a plug on p.15.

“Headliner is the outrageous Californian comic Scott Capurro, familiar to watchers of 8 out of 10 cats. MC will be Wivenhoe’s very own [and most splendid] Hazel Humphreys. The show starts at the Cricket Club at 8pm with £6 on the door.”

And finally…

Mrs. Ackroyd at the Wivenhoe Folk Club.

Cripes.

“On 2nd June, Wivenhoe Folk Club are hosting Mrs. Ackroyd as their main guests. Mrs. Ackroyd is a band, not a person.”

Blimey.

It is this type of bonkers news in brief that separates the wheat from the chaff, and also separates the exceedingly splendid Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle from some of the crap that gets pushed our way via the nationals.

The Chronicle may be in rude health, but that’s a fine position in which to preach from.

The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is distributed free amongst local households. Additional copies are 25p from local newsagents.