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To the Town Council Offices on Tuesday evening for the NEW quarterly Wivenhoe Neighborhood Action Panel meeting. We may have scaled back the every other month scheduling, but boy - the NEW NAP certainly knows how to pack a few punches.

It wasn’t quite on the same scale of law and order issues around the capital of late, but the situation was tense, not to mention a little comical at times.

With a backlog of issues having built up, I wouldn’t say that it got personal, but OUCH: tense! Tense!! TENSE!!!!

It made the recent Wivenhoe Town Council grudge cricket match against the town team seem like a gentile afternoon of underarm bowling. I fought the law, and the law won.

Not really.

I sat at the back of the chamber, sharing a table with the good Chair of Wiv Soc and scribbled down the volatile agenda that one would expect from issues such as Considerate Parking and Speedwatch, before being politely asked to leave at the end as a “sensitive” issue was about to be discussed.

I hope they weren’t about to talk about the size of my prize courgettes.

But first of all, a disclaimer: this blog post is brought to you in association with the good folk of Essex Police. Not in a brown envelope sort of way, but a black biro endorsement all the same.

Tell It Like It Is, etc - it’s probably best to bring along your writing pen as well.

Whoops.

With a scribe in my hand care of the charming PSCO Louise Neville, I was glad that I didn’t have to revert to memory when recalling the conversation that came out of the first agenda item: Parking.

Oh Lordy.

Park Road still seems to be a problem. Disclaimer: close to home, blah blah blah, but as a non-car owner, I don’t really see what the problem is. Which isn’t really the point of the NAP - we’re all neighbours around here, Comrades.

One man’s Chelsea Tractor mounting the curbside two doors down doesn’t bode well for the sense of community ownership and empowerment on the street where you live. I’m sure m’South London colleagues would agree right now.

Councillor Kraft enquired if it was possible to paint one side of the road with double yellows. The good Chair of Wiv Soc raised the regulation and likely cost. Councillor Ford confirmed that this had been discussed four years ago. Residents were apparently against it.

I was reminded of my first ever NAP appearance, nervously shuffling into the Town Council Offices as the outsider back in those long lost heady days of, um, October 2010.

I was asked about any parking issues concerning my new Park Road patch. I retold the story of being fleeced by the fools at Lambeth Council and having to pay just under £200 for the privilege of parking a removal van outside MY house for one morning only.

Expecting something similar at the other during the Great Escape, contact was made with Colchester Borough Council. I was laughed off the phone when asked if I had to pay to park a van outside MY new home.

Parking in Wivenhoe ‘aint perfect, but I prefer it to what I have experienced elsewhere…

Tensions rose slightly when the good @SgtLouMiddleton was asked about the flyers to promote considerate parking that were pledged at the last NAP meeting. These have been attached to any cars around the town that aren’t parked in a considerate way, but not leafleted through the letterboxes.

It wasn’t quite a Croydon situation developing, but the long arm of the law very politely agreed to make residents more aware of what is expected parking wise.

Ah yes - considerate parking…

The above shouldn’t be capped up, but the below most certainly should.

Confused? Join the club.

The flyers, I believe, are to promote considerate parking - a linguistic term rather than a letter of the law. Considerate Parking however is a paid for initiative that has legal implications.

Wivenhoe has the former, but not the latter; Brightlingsea has both.

Blimey.

A question was asked of the panel as to why Brightlingsea manages to get funding for Considerate Parking, whereas Wivenhoe doesn’t. The political food chain of Town Councils, Borough Councils and County Councils all lead to the same paper chase of the big boys and girls controlling power (and the purse strings) over in Chelmsford.

Further complicating matters is that the local policing team in Wivenhoe can’t give their full support to Considerate Parking, but they are happy to support considerate parking.

Phew.

A Facebook group should be started with the relationship status of: It’s complicated.

Hey hoe.

Here’s something far more positive: Yoof matters within Wivenhoe. I have blogged before about how bloody brilliant the Youth Hub is. It’s not so much the facilities themselves down at the Philip Road Centre, but the sense of community and support from members and volunteers alike.

But that’s all down at the bottom end of the town - what of the top, I hear you ask?

Well…

Wivenhoe Town Council is proposing to develop Henrietta Close. Councillor Cory of the Cross ward is heavily involved and has been adding considerable support. Which is just as well, seeing as though Colchester Borough Council seems to be the only remaining stumbling block in allowing what facilities to be sanctioned.

A re-launch date is being planned for later in the month, coupled in with the putting in place of BRA. Stop sniggering - we’re talking about the resurrection of the Broomfield Resident’s Association.

The project has the expertise backing of the Hub. If the passion can be transferred from the Phillip Road Centre up to Henrietta Close, then the scheme will be an undoubted success.

With the NAP agenda speeding like a lycra clad lout along the Wivenhoe Trail (steady) - whaddya know and it’s only Wivenhoe Speedwatch.

@SgtLouMiddleton very helpfully informed the NAP that this has now been rolled out along Elmstead Road. Essentially the volunteer led scheme involves residents being trained up to use equipment to catch out speeding motorists.

It is not a snooping scheme - all volunteers wear high res jackets and the aim is to prevent, rather than to persecute motorists.

Considerable concern came from the Chair of the NAP, who enquired as to why Speedwatch isn’t quite so speedy in being rolled out around other parts of the town.

Risk assessments are involved, and being purely volunteer led, Speedwatch is always going to rely upon the goodwill and free time of those kindly stepping forward.

It’s got legs, this Big Society lark I tell ya…

I wasn’t sure who was quizzing whom, with some NAP members unhappy about the neglect of other parts of the town.

Tense! TENSE! TENSE!!!!

Oh Lordy.

Councillor Julie Young asked how often Speedwatch is currently put in place - on five occasions over the past three months apparently. The Chair asked where are the other proposed routes? @SgtLouMiddleton wasn’t prepared to volunteer this information.

It was a good point, and one well made. Why would you want to advertise where the Speedwatch scheme is about to be introduced? Accusations were made that closed information was being held back by the police.

Hardly.

@SgtLouMiddleton couldn’t have been more open in recent months in keeping residents informed about his work online. There is a sense however that Speedwatch is possibly slipping off the local agenda.

We then got bogged down slightly in the public nature of the meeting. The bored blogger sitting at the back started to chew on his Essex Police sponsored pen.

A resolution of sorts came when @SgtLouMiddlton agreed to inform the next NAP of which roads have been Speedwatched since the previous meetings, and how may vehicles have been found to be breaking the speed limit.

It was also agreed to publish this data online. ALL online sharing of information has to be a good thing. But not necessarily when it comes to NAP matters.

The bored biro chewing blogger was then politely asked to leave the open meeting, as a sensitive issue was about to be discussed.

Tense! TENSE! TENSE!!!!

And that was just me handing back my pen to PSCO Neville.

Until next time…

Rumours of the demise of the esteemed organ of truth and justice that is The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle are as premature as rumours of the demise of my king size courgette.

Sure, it took a bit of a battering the other day (courgette, not the Chronicle) but both still stand proud and mighty; both equally respected as they are eagerly awaited once a fortnight.

Recent conversations around the town have led to some doubt about the future of The Chronicle. Wivenhoe is built upon rumour and assumptions. If you were to dig a big hole at the foot of Black Buoy Hill, you’d find buried away some of the many myths that have been doing the rounds over the centuries, usually after an afternoon spent boozing away.

Is there a Roman bath along Bath Street? Is Bowie the *shhh* secret headliner for May Fair? Has the Chronicle chronicled local life around these parts for the very last time?

Two out of three ‘aint bad, my lovelies…

And so with a rusty squeak of the old letterbox, and a cheerful smile from Scoop as he wanders off into some magical Wivenhoe kingdom for dreamers and journos: it’s only the May 2011 edition of The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Hurrah!

As is now customary on m’blog, I don’t give a blind man’s buff about those buggers down the road at Brightlingsea. Nice enough folk ‘n all that, but as ever, start yer own b****y hyperlocal blog, Comrades.

And so a turning of the grubby newsprint, and we’re straight in with all the local news and scandal that is fit to print about Wivenhoe. How about starting with The Local Election Results?

Oh Lordy.

Except there wasn’t any seismic change in the local political landscape in the May elections that have just passed. Smiling Councillor Steve Ford continues to smile away down at the Quay, doing his #workingforwivenhoe red flag waving. His Comrade in the Colchester coalition (cripes) - the young man about town Councillor Mark Cory - kept his LibDem seat up at the Cross.

Wivenhoe Town Council meanwhile is left with two spanners short of a full toolbox, with two new Councillors needed for co-option to complete the full quota of thirteen.

Scoop reports:

“At Wivenhoe, Steve Ford, Labour, comfortably retained the town’s Quay ward, securing 1,279 votes, more than double that of his nearest rival, the Conservative candidate Mercedes Mussard [ACE name.]

Waving the simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play, Scoop adds:

“It was an exceptionally good achievement by this particularly active Labour candidate, once described by the Deputy Prime Minister Harriet Harman during one of her visits as being one of the hardest working local councillors in the region.”

Hear, hear (to the hardest working, and not in praise of the fragrant Hattie. Phew.)

But don’t just look at little Wivenhoe; nope - move up the map and towards the bigger picture of the Cross. The Chronicle reports:

“Across much of the country there were dismal results for the Liberal Democrats, but in the Wivenhoe Cross ward, Mark Cory, the young 23 year old candidate [easy, ladies] helped to stem the tide against his party, retaining the seat with the support of 673 votes.”

It of course helped the cause of the “young” Cllr Cory (what is this - a Grace Brothers sitcom?) that the #workingforwivenhoe red flag flying comrades pretty much deserted the locals during the campaign, concentrating on the campus instead.

Whoops.

To complete the local political picture, the Chronicle lead concludes:

“There was no election for places on Wivenhoe Town Council as only ten candidates stood for the thirteen available seats.”

It was actually eleven candidates, but then that simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play probably got lost down a back seat at The Greyhound.

Passing over all the Brightlingsea puff, and then on p.2 we come across:

Art and Poetry in the Trenches.

Walk it like you talk it, Comrades:

“A one day course entitled Art and Poetry in the Trenches, presented by Graham Slimming and Colin Padgett, will be run by the WEA in Wivenhoe next month. This course will be held on 11th June at the Congregational Hall, from 10:30am to 4pm.”

Janice Allen on 824470 secures you a booking.

My eyes were momentarily fixed upon the big blueness that is the advert for Brightlingsea Open Air Swimming Pool as the p.3 pin up. I am historically a man suited to an outdoor aquatic lifestyle. Fifteen summers have been spent swimming in unheated lidos.

I spent one spring afternoon walking past the Brightlingsea Open-Air Pool / oversized duck pond, and thought, nah - that’s no pool, my friends: that’s a large hole in the ground with a bit of a drainage situation.

There’s Plenty of Entertainment at the May Fair [*cough* Bowie] is the p.4 headline. It’s pretty much a run through of the May Fair Committee press release, covering the fact that a rather ace line up including Ady Johnson (see) local lad Lou Terry (MUST see) Cav OK (pals) and Housework (hardest working band in, um, Sunny Colch) will all be helping you to get tired and emotional at the KGV, come Bank Holiday Monday.

Pages 10 and 11 cover a couple of lovely, lovely local stories, which although haven’t been picked up the nationals, they certainly represent the charm and quality in which the Chronicle is so respected for locally.

Hearing Dogs for Deaf People… is all about the Hearing Day Centre which runs a weekly hearing clinic at the lovely Wivenhoe Eyecare. The target of £5,000 has just been reached to help sponsor a hearing dog:

“The centre has been raising funds over several years for Hearing Dogs for Deaf People, through donations from its clients, and larger events such as golf days.”

Meanwhile, Deans’ Nursery and Garden Centre Celebrates Fifty Years of Trading pretty much Tells It Like It Is in the headline for a story with a very proud local Wivenhoe history:

“In the late 1950s two young brothers, having just completed a horticultural course at the Writtle Agricultural College near Chelmsford, started to grow outdoor tomatoes in Wivenhoe. The brothers, Anthony and Steve Dean, son of the Wivenhoe GP, the late Dr William Dean, ran this modest enterprise behind the old cemetery just off Belle View Road.”

The business is now based on the Harwich Road at Great Bromley. It is managed by Sarah Dean, the granddaughter of Dr Dean. It may be a puff piece of advertorial, but it’s a lovely read in The Chronicle, rightfully celebrating half a century of trading from a local business.

An Afternoon Upstairs with Martin Newell on p.12 once again tells you all you need to know. With locally baked cakes being promised upstairs at The Greyhound on the afternoon of 11th June, tickets are selling like… hot cakes. Seriously - get yourself down to the Bookshop for a £4 bargain.

Wivenhoe’s Funny Farm for this Thursday (26th) gets a plug on p.15.

“Headliner is the outrageous Californian comic Scott Capurro, familiar to watchers of 8 out of 10 cats. MC will be Wivenhoe’s very own [and most splendid] Hazel Humphreys. The show starts at the Cricket Club at 8pm with £6 on the door.”

And finally…

Mrs. Ackroyd at the Wivenhoe Folk Club.

Cripes.

“On 2nd June, Wivenhoe Folk Club are hosting Mrs. Ackroyd as their main guests. Mrs. Ackroyd is a band, not a person.”

Blimey.

It is this type of bonkers news in brief that separates the wheat from the chaff, and also separates the exceedingly splendid Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle from some of the crap that gets pushed our way via the nationals.

The Chronicle may be in rude health, but that’s a fine position in which to preach from.

The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is distributed free amongst local households. Additional copies are 25p from local newsagents.

To the Town Council Office on Monday evening for the first formal meeting of the new Wivenhoe Town Council administration. With four new Councillors sitting around the top table, the pub pecking order etiquette was observed for the seating arrangements:

“Oooh - you can’t sit there, m’ lovely. That’s old Alfie’s seat.”

But old Alfie [MADE UP NAME] is no longer with us, so dip yer bread, young blood.

I strategically took up my place sitting right by the door. You never know when you might want to make an early exist to watch #nffc’s season implode yet again.

Whoops.

Elsewhere around the chamber of fun and it was pleasing to see that all seats in the public gallery were taken. I say ‘public gallery,’ but I of course means the liberal (steady) scattering of chairs around the perimeter of the room.

Was an anarchic late spring Wivenhoe revolution uprising in the air? Um, nope - just the rightly proud family and friends coming along to support the new administration.

D-mob happy and ready to take a well-deserved back seat, Mr Mayor apologised for the non-appearance of the Lady Mayor (impending music duties - that’s fine, Madam) and then listened to a glowing eulogy from Councillor Needham, praising the civic year just passed:

“We made a wonderful decision twelve months ago to elect Councillor Sinclair as our Town Mayor.”

A bottle of something slightly stronger than the Adam’s Ale on the top table was handed over, which will hopefully be sufficient to see Councillor Sinclair through those long Wivenhoe winter nights. A bouquet then followed for the music making Lady Mayor.

It’s a rank old world, this business of local politics - now take up yer seat, kind Sir, back at the opposite end of the table.

In a game of grandee musical chairs, Councillor Needham then took up his place at the top of the table, and the formal handing over of the chains and the Mr Mayor title took place. I have a feeling that the “We made a wonderful decision…” speech will deservedly played out again this time next year.

Continuing the procession of politico titles, behind every great man there has to be a great woman. The new Mr Mayor has two - blimey.

With the (new) Lady Mayor also looking resplendent in the gallery, it was soon time to endorse Councillor Kraft as the new Deputy Mayor for the duration of the political calendar.

A local Wivenhoe league system of sorts is in place, to decide who gets to rise (and fall) with the civic chain. It is almost on par with the election of a new Pope, with the high and mighty having to come to an agreement to endorse a candidate.

It wasn’t quite smoke signals wafting down the High Street and high jinks and rejoicing all the way down to the Rose and Crown, but a three endorsements, one against and “a number of abstentions…” completed the process.

Civic duties complete, back to Civvy Street and the complexes of Town Council business. It is around this point in the evening when a young (ish) blogger usually loses the plot and fails to follow the thread.

I tried to keep up with the constitutional discussion about the Community Working Party, but to be honest, my mind (and iPhone) was elsewhere. Two quick first half goals for Swansea and I trust none of the esteemed Councillors noticed the whispered profanities that almost delayed the important business of the Community Working Party.

As I understand (actually, I don’t) and the issue here was one of adopting a new way of working with committees, chairs and communication. It wasn’t quite as severe as Forest going in 2-0 down at half time (seriously,) but the Town Clerk did interject with:

“What is being proposed is not a valid procedure and I would like this minuted please.”

Blimey.

For the record I also DIDN’T swear in the Council chamber when the second Swansea goal went in, but I wouldn’t mind if that was minuted.

With the WTC constitution changing in June (I think) Councillor Kraft raised concern that three committees are currently without Chairs, following the introduction of a new administration.

Straight off the subs bench and the abundance of new local political talent within Wivenhoe soon served as a stopgap. I don’t suppose any of the four new Bright Young Things of WTC could play up front for Forest whilst they are at it?

As with all new organisations, roles and responsibilities need to be carefully laid out. What followed was a shuffling of the WTC pack, and the allocation of representation on various local and civic organisations. Ah - but who is the joker in the pack, Comrades?

The Colchester Association of Local Councillors role went to Councillor Lodge; Civic Protection was taken by Councillor Needham. Our Public Transport Representative remains the good Peter Kay, Community Safety is covered once again by Councillor Lodge and Councillor Needham will continue his good relations with WivSoc.

Wearing his nautical hat and Councillor Sinclair will represent WTC on the Colne Estuary Partnership. The Wivenhoe Housing Trust will have the fine company of Councillor Needham, the District Board and Facilities Trust role fell to Councillor Lodge, Councillor Kraft sticks with NAP and Wivenhoe in Bloom will have the green-fingered representation from Councillor Richards.

This was very much a putting your house in order meeting for the new administration. Subscriptions were up for renewal next. I thought that the ever keen and eager WivSoc had the tin rattling down to a fine art, what with a door knock and a kindly “pay up, pal” request earlier in the month.

WTC agreed to renew the following subscriptions:

The Essex Association of Local Councillors - £824 per annum - ouch! In return, Mr Mayor stated that WTC gains many official documentation templates that are most useful.

One would hope so, at just under a grand.

Essex Fields and Trusts - £35 pa

The Institute of Crematorium Management - £90 pa (deadly silence…)

The Society of Local Council Clerks - £120 pa

Essex Regional Employers - £130 pa

Direct Information Service (nope, me neither…) £90 pa

Community Management Association - £116 pa. This is the body that grants a licence to enable the running of the Community Mini Bus.

The Council for the Protection of Rural Essex - £29 pa (I wonder which side they bat for as the Environment Agency continues to vandalise our locality?)

The Council for National Allotments - £25 pa and

The Friends of Historic Essex - £10 pa.

Not a great deal of overall expenditure, but there are a lot of local bodies that are making money out of local government. Meanwhile, the Association of Nerdy North Essex Semi-Politico Local Bloggers is about to go back in the red, Comrades - and I’m not talking metaphorical, either.

The minutes for the Annual Town Meeting were then adopted. A lengthy discussion followed about Section 106 money, what it means and why it is important. My understanding is that it is essentially the classic local authority you scratch my back argument: yep, you can build yer mega superstore, but give our community a brown envelope stuffed full of grubby fivers first.

For administrative, political and possibly hyperlocal territorial reasons, the dosh for Wivenhoe is split between the Quay and the Cross. The former obviously benefited greatly with the Cook’s redevelopment 106 money; the latter looks like coming out rather nicely after the University has finished making a mess of Wivenhoe Park with the Knowledge Gateway nice little earner. WTC is in favour of being able to distribute this money WHEREVER it sees fit in the town.

Reports from local political representatives followed. Councillor Julie Young, the Colchester Representative on Essex County Council spoke first.

“I am now no longer the only Labour member at ECC - we have formed a group with the election of another Labour member. I have taken up the position of the Leader of the Labour group.”

Cripes, Comrade: We are all equal, but some are more equal than others, etc.

The hard-working Councillor Young updated with plans for a public footpath leading from Broadfields towards the Football Club:

“This is now the third highest Highways priory in all of Essex. It will be a slow process, but discussions are already in place with the landowner. I am happy to report that relations between the Trust and the Football Club are now much better. The Football Club is welcoming a group of disabled young adults into the clubhouse to use the space as a social area.

Other items updated by Councillor Young included the building of a shelter for students waiting for the Colne bus, congratulating the 20 students volunteers from the University who took part in a recent litter pick, and the promise to look at the faded zebra crossing at The Cross - a point that was raised by a resident at the Annual Town Meeting.

Councillor Young then risked the wrath of the entire Tendring Peninsula by bringing up the Clingoe Hill and the disruption that the Knowledge Gateway is about to bring:

“We are still unsure when the roadworks will begin. It is hoped that these will be completed by the start of the new academic year, which indicates that they should be imminent.”

The newly re-elected Councillor Steve Ford, one of Wivenhoe Quay’s representative at Colchester Borough Council, then addressed the chamber:

“I personally take the Mayor Making process very seriously. Wivenhoe is very lucky in consistently having excellent candidates to fill this role.”

With the past month (and more) spent on the stump, Councillor Ford had little political content to add, although he did remark:

“I thought that my election campaign was going to be dramatic, but it wasn’t so, as it turned out…”

Ouch.

The #workingforwivenhoe fine fella did update on the planning update for nine flats along Rectory Road:

“I have concerns over parking and draining, and have raised these with the Council. The Planning officers agree, and this application will now be heard in front of the Committee.

Valley Road to Bobbit’s Way continues to suffer from potholes and more serious infrastructure damage. I will keep on reminding Highways of this.”

A quick race through the various WTC committee reports, although being a new administration, there was little to report back on. A new picnic bench has been installed in the wood, to replace the one that was sadly vandalised.

Likewise a bench has now been placed on the sea wall, looking out to Rowhedge (although why anyone would want to sit down and actually look out towards Rowhedge is beyond me.)

Councillor Sinclair then reminded WTC about the official confirmation received regarding the continued vandalism of our unique local environment by the Environment Agency:

“We have heard that this work will now be ongoing, with the diggers arriving sometime over the next two weeks. I am sure that our phones will be ringing and WTC will have plenty of complaints from residents.

The work by the EA is an approved policy - all we can do as a council is to refer any complaints to the official literature that we have received.”

Mr Mayor added:

“The EA knows what it is doing.”

Here’s hoping…

A quick refresh of the iPhone, and yep - Forest were still trailing 2-0. Time for a pick me up - time to conclude the first meeting of the new administration with news of what Mr Mayor has planned during his Wivenhoe civic year:

“A tea party (July) Wivenhoe’s Got Talent (cripes - February) and a Tramp’s Supper (come as you are - October.)”

Civic representation is promised at all three events. The tea party sounds charming; Wivenhoe’s Got Talent equally excites and worries me. The Tramp’s Supper is tailor made for many folk around these parts.

Perfect.

To the William Loveless Hall on Wednesday evening for a hot date with @AnnaJCowen.

Cripes.

I told the girl that I had secured tickets for a performance that involves bling, envelopes stuffed full of cash being handed over and a back row seat. I didn’t disappoint.

The Annual Town Meeting of Wivenhoe Town Council starred the most magnificent Mr Mayor all chained up and handing over cheques to the recipients of the Mayor’s Charity. The back row seat lived up to its billing - you don’t know who yer asking political questions of, once the sun starts to set over Wivenhoe.

And so this was THE hot civic ticket for the evening. I say ticket, but any Tom, Dick or Harry strolling in off the High Street could have gained access. I did see a Tom and a Harry. As for Dick?

Steady, Jase. Steady.

We all love the Loveless Hall (right?) but Mr Mayor did his best to demolish it with a swing of the civic hammer to herald the start of the formal meeting. Everyone’s favourite town council hall was pretty much full, with an impressive turn out to witness local Wivenhoe democracy.

Mr Mayor delivered his formal speech, outlining the highs and lows of his civic year:

“We have broken away from the norm this year by staging a number of new social events. This has been a most interesting year where I have met some really lovely people. Working with the schools and the University must be top of my personal list.”

Ever humble, Mr Mayor added:

“My failures have been in chasing Highways for salt during the cold snap. Jim and Andy, the Council groundsmen, put in an extra mile. We hope to be pro-active as a Council, should such bad weather return to Wivenhoe.”

Paying tribute to the retiring litter picker Ray Smith, Mr Mayor spoke glowingly of the role that Ray has played in the local community. A presentation took place, with a bottle of brandy, an engraved brandy glass and an engraved spade handed over.

Best hold on to that Ray - you may just need this when WTC is next called upon to be pro-active…

Andrew Clairborn from Anglia Ruskin University was then invited to explain more about some of the architectural designs in place around the Loveless Hall. Students on the urban planning course have been visiting Wivenhoe, looking for ideas to create a civic centre on the land that covers the Loveless Hall, the old police houses and the Town Council Offices:

“The brief is for our students to understand the social fabric of Wivenhoe. Every student comments on what a fantastic place this must be to live. One student was short-listed with her designs, leading to a Whitehall reception.”

Councillor Fran Richards addressed the meeting, putting in a call to arms for plans for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee next summer:

“We don’t want this to be a WTC led event - we want to involve the whole community.”

I’m not exactly one for a right Royal knees up, but celebrating the Establishment nuptials a few weeks back at a Wivenhoe Town FC beer festival almost turned me into a flag waver. More of the same please.

The distribution of the Mayor’s Charity Fund followed. It was truly ace to see representation from all walks of Wivenhoe life, all deserving, all working for a better Wivenhoe.

I fired up my trusty F717, perched down at the front of the stage and handed over the official notepad duties to @AnnaJCowen. With firm instructions to “scribble down every group name,” we didn’t get off to a good start when the girl replied “what?”

We are almost approaching hearing aid enhancement for the poor girl, and so apologies if some of the deserving groups have been missed off the list:

East Anglia Children’s Hospice, St Helena Hospice, Parachute Regiment Afghanistan Trust, The Over 60′s Club (membership form for @AnnaJCowen, please?) Age Concern Luncheon Club, Helping Hands, St Mary’s Church, Wivenhoe Methodist Church, Wivenhoe Congregational Church, St Michael’s Church (I think that’s all bases covered…) Transition Town Wivenhoe (hurrah!) Wivenhoe Folk Club, Wivenhoe Ferry Committee, Wivenhoe Town Regatta, Wivenhoe May Fair Committee, Wivenhoe in Bloom, Wivenhoe Co-operative Community Board, Colne Community Music Exchange, Millfields School, Broomgrove School, Avenue Playgroup, the Wivenhoe Free School, Wivenhoe Swingers Society [um, you sure about this one?] Wivenhoe Toddlers Group. Scout and Guides Association, The Hub (hurrah! hurrah!) Educational Aid for Children in Africa, Wivenhoe Sporting Facilities Trust, Wivenhoe Junior Badminton, Wivenhoe Junior Cricket Club and Wivenhoe Junior Sailing Club.

Phew.

And relax.

Pretty much all organisations were represented on the night, and if they weren’t, it was because they had group activities taking place. A blogger who is bored of London can bugger off out towards the North Essex estuary wilds, and then find such a diverse range of groups and activities that the temptation is to say: woh - where to start?

Um, back to London?

‘fraid not, Comrades…

Over £3,000 in total was distributed by Mr Mayor. There are even some coins left in the civic cap for the incoming Mr Mayor, thanks to a very generous donation from the Wivenhoe Youth Theatre, which sadly folded earlier in the year.

With the meet ‘n greet handshakes and cheesy photos filed away, time for the formal business end of the meeting; time for a swift half across the road over at The Greyhound.

Only joking.

The minutes from the 2010 meeting were approved and then the Annual Report and Financial Statement were up for discussion. Both are essential bedtime reading. Both seemed inappropriate for back row consumption whilst out on a hot date with @AnnaJCowen. Best left for the bedroom, luv.

With no formal resolutions, questions were opened up to the floor. I almost put up my hand by instinct, and came out with my annual “why do I have to pay TWICE to swim in Lambeth owned pools?”

Whoops.

Wrong Borough, Comrade.

Q: Any news on the new surgery?

A: We are expecting a final decision within the next month. We are ready to go, and if we are given the money, work can start tomorrow.

Wow.

Q: What of the empty police houses? *cough* @asset_transfer…

A: We understand that these WILL be sold. WTC has expressed an interest, but we have to look at the long-term logistics. How do we furnish the loan? Do we have the support of all residents? We are waiting to hear the final asking price.

Q: Cars are still speeding down Station Road. The road is also falling apart. Will speed bumps be put in place?

A: No.

Q: On behalf of Neighbourhood Watch, are there any WTC plans to adopt the Considerate Parking scheme that is already in place in Brightlingsea?

A: [from Councillor Penny Kraft] I have already answered this question at the last Neighbourhood Watch meeting that you chaired.

Ouch.

As previously blogged, WTC won’t be adopting the Considerate Parking scheme. Residents cause the problems in Brightlingsea and it is relatively easy to administer. Commuters are the problem in Wivenhoe - WTC doesn’t know who it is dealing with.

Q: Any plans for 41 Acres behind the cricket club?

A: This plot of land has now been sold. A small amount can be built upon. We are watching this closely.

Q: Can you extend the skateboard park?

A: We have been approached by the elder skateboarders who have now outgrown the existing facility. There is a wish list, should funds be free. The skate park is high up on the agenda.

Q: What the chuffers is happening with the Engine Shed?

Oh Lordy.

A: It doesn’t belong to WTC and so we have little power. There is the very real danger that the building will collapse. Network Rail has wrapped up the building to try and preserve it. This is as far as we can get from them.

Q: What of disable access at the station?

A: No further updates…

Q: The zebra crossing up by The Cross is fading.

A: We will take a look at this [plus helpful interjection by the helpful Councillor Young of Essex County Council.]

Speaking of the big boys and girls (some more bigger than others) and Mr Mayor formally congratulated Councillor Steve Ford (Labour, Quay ward) on his re-election to Colchester Borough Council, as well as Councillor Mark Corey (LibDems, Cross ward.)

One loud round of applause, one loud (ish) round of applause.

The new Town Councillors were then introduced (helloooo!) following the lack of election with not enough names stepping forward. Mr Mayor then paid a very warm tribute to the various retiring Town Councillors.

Hear, hear.

We were reminded that Wivenhoe is a very apolitical community, with our elected (or not, as the case may be…) representatives very much working for Wivenhoe (geddin there!) rather than the petty tribalism of party politics.

This warmed my heart, and the bosom of @AnnaJCowen, as we shared a bag of chips from Papa’s on the way home.

To The Nottage once again on Wednesday evening for a committee meeting with the lovely WivSoc folk. With the smell of yacht varnish in the barn below being mixed up with the aroma of booze from the Rose and Crown along the Quay, this was something of a Wivenhoe moment.

There is always a sense of great history in entering the Nottage. You feel that you are truly experiencing something of Wivenhoe’s past - and hopefully the future, with WivSoc pushing forward a positive agenda for the town.

Of course you could always replicate the experience by brewing yacht beer and drinking it in your garden shed on a Wednesday evening once a month. But that would mean that you would miss the WivSoc stories. These blog posts don’t write themselves, y’know…

As ever, a varied agenda of the serious and trivial was in store. Off the Rails was up first. A request for assistance has been made by the local arts groups that is responsible for putting in place public art at Wivenhoe Station.

Off the Rails has been officially adopted by Network Rail as the organisation in which to promote art along the platforms. The potential problem is that Off the Rails may be ace at art, but has little experience of organising. WivSoc has been asked for advice.

Although not really coming under the WivSoc remit, it was agreed that conversations with Off the Rails should continue, with a view to helping the group become more self-sufficient. Another suggestion was to steer Off the Rails with the recent moves to re-start the legendary Wivenhoe Arts Club.

I’m not quite sure how this happened, but the debate then somehow let drop that the Station Master’s House has had something of a roof falling in on the world moment: THE ROOF REALLY HAS FALLEN IN, apparently, with the first floor coming crashing down.

Whoops.

Exactly where this leaves the fine Transition Town Wivenhoe and the ambitious (and ace) plans to turn the building into a sustainable community centre remains to be seen. TTW has a war chest of community goodwill, but sadly not a blank cheque to re-build Wivenhoe.

Sticking with matters fiscal, and it seems that WivSoc has saved the UK economy.

Cripes.

Recent changes in tax and insurance law means that the Chancellor has been presented with an extra £3.10 to help reduce the deficit.

We’re all in this together, Comrades.

Planning looked at the proposed development of nine new properties along Rectory Road. I still don’t quite get this ‘development’ terminology; it seems to suggest moving forward, an advancement, a development, if you will. But what if the development [urgh] is actually a step back?

They usually are…

Record Road has been previously submitted, and then withdrawn. It is now back in the hands of Colchester Borough Council. WivSoc has no formal objection, apart from a passing comment on the access road planned. A letter is being drawn up to put this point across. Town planning speak for re-wording of the phrase “jolly nasty design” were then discussed.

It is at this stage in the development (aha!) that it is perhaps worth reminding folk of the recent changes in the CBC planning application process. New applications will by-pass the Committee and go straight to council officers, UNLESS two formal objections are made. These need to be put in place through your local CBC ward councillor.

A hop, skip and a jump down Rectory Road, via an afternoon bender at the Rose and Crown (steady) and we’re at Cook’s. We’re also at the point that no WivSoc committee meeting would be complete without: the development [urgh, urgh] of the old shipyard.

A diligent spot on the CBC database by our esteemed Queen of Planning, and it seems that a variance in use has been put forward for the commercial developments along from the Quay.

The units were originally intended for commercial use for home workers as a business unit. The suggestion now is that they will be able to open up on Sundays and Bank Holidays, and also have the option to serve refreshments outdoors.

With On the Corner (nee the Corner House) now focussing on the evening economy, having one more place to purchase coffee in Wivenhoe during the daytime has to be seen as something worth welcoming.

Keeping with the public space theme, it seems that the old St John’s Ambulance building has become embroiled in a bit of a local tug of law. Time to repeat my personal mantra of not commenting in public on private planning applications. Still holding out for that nightclub at the bottom of the garden…

With Moving Image finding funding problems for the long-term purchase of the building, a local artist is interested in taking over St John’s for studio space. This includes the possibility of opening up for exhibitions.

*Some* members of Wivenhoe Town Council though are unhappy with this move. They see the building as one of the few remaining possibilities to keep it as a shared community resource. Booking a public venue in Wivenhoe is becoming increasingly difficult. *Some* members of WTC would like to keep all options open.

I wouldn’t stretch it out as far as calling it a rival bid, but a second group is in the running to try and restore the building for community use. A figure of £25,000 has been quoted to carry out repairs. It appears that the second group already has this capital.

I’m not ruling out a *ahem* THIRD bid, should my application for the nightclub in the back garden be turned down.

Keeping it social and the WivSoc is genuinely overjoyed with the tremendous success of the recent riverbank clean up. This was the most successful yet, with 80 volunteers turning up on a Sunday morning to help make the Colne a little bit cleaner.

The results are there to see - a tidal litter free stretch, all the way down to the Hythe. WivSoc was particularly happy to see young volunteers from the Hub and the Scouts and Guides coming out to help.

Cleaning up the Colne has become something of uniting community issue (or maybe not…) with some lovely plans to stretch out across the other side and involve our friends from Rowhedge.

It has been suggested that WivSoc twins future clean ups with the Rowhedge lot. We can even wave to one another from the other side. I know which half of the great divide I’d wager has the greater amount of mess to clean up.

Other social news includes a welcome return of the WivSoc wine tasting evening, taking place this year on the 18th November at the Congregational Hall. Our friends from the Co-op are once again very kindly providing the booze.

Chin chin.

But try and keep it sober - here comes that nice Mr Mayor with his formal report from the recent WTC meeting. I say formal, but the Dress Down Wednesday and affable approach of our civic leader, kept it all rather light-hearted.

A fair few serious issues however:

The proposed new Health Centre behind the Fire Station has seen considerable movement in recent weeks. As previously reported, Mr Mayor has held a meeting with the PCT, leaving Councillor Sinclair:

“More positive than at any stage before.”

Basically the PTC wants a decision imminently, ahead of the proposed national government shake-up of the NHS. A meeting of the Executive is being held next month, where a final decision is expected to be made.

Mr Mayor reported that the site itself is now ready for construction. The last remaining planning hurdle (a stray tree root) has now been resolved. Slight cynicism though from some sections of WivSoc, with mumblings of we’ve been here before…

Mr Mayor then spoke of his personal quest to:

“Bang a few heads together to try and get some co-operation from our local councillors.”

Cripes.

Not in the literal sense of course, but with currently two LibDems, One Tory and one Labour councillor, Mr Mayor is concerned that possible Section 106 funds coming out of the Knowledge Gateway might get lost in the political fog of tribal party politics.

The Cross ward has been singled out as being in most urgent need of new funds. A hit list of possible projects has been drawn up by WTC. I’d personally like to see a tag team-wrestling contest featuring all four councillors.

Purchasing the old police station houses is also a current priority for Mr Mayor:

“Most town councillors are on board with the concept. There is a feeling that this is a one-off opportunity to keep these under public use. We dare not let go of them.”

The police apparently quoted a figure of £400,000 four years ago, although WTC holds strong that this was never put forward in writing. It is expected that a similar figure will remain the market value today.

Which is slightly steep for a local town council that has just had a significant funding cut from the paymasters of CBC. The plan is to approach the Municipal Loan Board, and then rent out the properties to service the loan.

We finished off with My Mayor updating on the #hyperlocal political process:

“We have four new councillors, and four retiring councillors - which leaves us two short of our quota. I would have LOVED for this to have gone to election - it would have done WTC a world of good.”

I still reckon mud wrestling is the way to go, Comrades.

See ya next month…

Wivsoc - Disclaimer: I am a member of the Wivenhoe Society, although not a committee member. All views expressed within this blog post are mine alone, and not that of the committee, or the Society in general.