onionbagblog

To the Town Council Office! …on Monday evening for the final Wivenhoe Town Council meeting ahead of the Annual Town Meeting taking place on 9th May. So many meetings, so many decisions to make. The last hurrah of the current administration was either a last minute attempt to make ship shape the work of WTC ahead of meeting the residents, or a self-congratulatory pat on the back for the work that has been achieved over the past twelve months.

It would take a hard-pressed cynic to argue the former - the purchase of the old police houses, the green light for the new health centre, um, an ex-Iron Maiden guitarist storming the William Loveless Hall [where else?] this weekend.

Yep, it has been quite a successful civic year for the current administration led by Mayor Robert Needham. Much is still needed to be achieved within the town - speeding around lower Wivenhoe was discussed, St John’s Ambulance Hall lurks on the agenda like a bad cold with no cure, and much of Monday evening was taken up talking abut dog pooh.

Dirty job, etc…

Heads down, here comes the agenda for Monday evening.

No cheapo B & Q hammer this month to call the meeting to order. Instead a guttural belch by an unnamed councillor (*not* Mr Mayor) kicked things off.

Most definitely not letting out a guttural belch was Cllr Julie Young of Essex County Council:

“I have got a meeting scheduled with nearby residents to cut back the frontage and make visibility easier for Millfields children crossing Alresford Road. We are in a crossover period at the County in terms of Highways. I am still looking at Vine Parade and a footpath to the University. Although these have not progressed, they are back on the agenda. There is £1.5m funding available for the Borough. £225,000 is the amount needed for the University footpath. We will have to wait and see.”

Speaking of our friends up on campus, what of the popular Quayside Cafe down by the Hythe that the University was proposing to close?

Cllr Young added:

“We are in a bit of a stop gap period for now. The University will keep the public toilet open, as well as putting in a coffee machine as a gesture of goodwill. I can confirm that a local group has come forward with an offer to re-open the cafe for a period of eighteen months. Plenty of work is going on behind the scenes.”

No official confirmation, but *I understand* that the local group is a community organisation that works closely with young folk around Colchester. This isn’t the University of Essex.

You don’t say.

As is par for the course for all WTC meetings, a pothole discussion then broke out, so to speak. Mr Mayor asked the rhetorical question of what can WTC do when reported potholes are repeatedly ignored by the Borough Council?

It emerged that CBC now has a crack team [aha!] of pothole repairers. The term “emergency potholes” has crept into the local authority lexicon. It’s not quite a 999 situation, but Wivenhoe is on pothole red alert.

Smiling Cllr Steve Ford of the Wivenhoe Quay ward confirmed as much:

“I have seen a whooper on Rebow Road“

Blimey.

The good Cllr confirmed that the best action is to continually report any similar sightings of whoopers to your local ward councillors, who will chase this up with CBC.

Also being chased up by CBC is the issue of the St John’s Ambulance Hall along Chapel Road.

Oh Lordy.

Cllr Ford confirmed that the re-submitted planning application to demolish the building, plus the parallel application to build a private studio will “probably” go before the esteemed members of the CBC Planning Committee once again on 26th April.

St John’s refuses to go away, both around the town and at WTC. It would be returned to again, and yet again further as the agenda unfolded.

Sticking with Planning at a hyperlocal level and a meeting with Taylor Wimpey is taking place this Wednesday. Keeping the paymaster sweet is what it is all about. Those Section 106 grubby fivers don’t come about without a significant amount of back scratching.

Cllr Kevin Read confirmed the state of play with the current 106 projects:

“More information is required for the cricket pavilion. We are at the early stage with the funding for the Scout and Guide group. Likewise for the Methodist Hall. We are moving forward with all of these projects. A lot of work is being carried out by community groups in the town.”

A lot of work it seems is also being carried out behind the scenes with regards to the new Health Centre.

Cllr Neil Lodge added:

“We have got the money - we are waiting to discuss this with the land owners.”

But before we leave Planning, a fascinating discussion then broke out about our four borough councillors. It was unfortunate that none of them were now present in the chamber to respond, but the dialogue took the direction as to exactly whom the elected borough councillors are responsible to.

Residents? Wivenhoe Town Council? Colchester Borough Council? Political Parties? Their own individual agendas?

Behind all of this is… St John’s Ambulance Building.

Whoops.

WTC wants to put across strongly the view to the CBC Planning Committee that it doesn’t want to lose a community asset in the town. To formally speak at the Planning Committee meeting would be taking up one of the precious slots reserved for public submissions.

Two of our ward councillors (Manning and Ford) sit on the Planning Committee, and so can’t be approached. Which then makes it quite tricky to canvas the views of our elected representatives and see whom they are speaking for on hyperlocal matters.

It’s all about getting the best value. See where we’re heading?

Ah yes - the Best Value Committee, aka the real policy making unit of WTC. It meets behind closed doors, donchta know…

Cllr Read asked:

“Has there been any development on the Montessori situation?”

Apparently there has been “movement between solicitors.” I can’t comment further, seeing as though the Montessori situation has been discussed behind closed doors at previous WTC meetings.

More positive matters - the various Wivenhoe Working Parties.

Estates reports that an inspection has been undertaken at the WTC owned allotments ahead of the new season. These are “looking much better,” expressed Cllr Fran Richardson. A meeting has recently taken place with the Church Parochial Council with regards looking into the land for another cemetery.

Somber, but essential stuff.

Cllr Brian Sinclair was also encouraged by the Wivenhoe Working Woods Party:

“Thanks to Colchester Borough Council we now have a new bench in the picnic area. This is our third in two years. The previous two have not been BBQ resistant. I would like to add that we benefit immensely from the support of the Borough Council and the volunteer Rangers.”

In Communty Bus News - this just in: The Wivenhoe Communuty Bus is in minibus hospital.

Awww…

The wings were clipped by a user and it is off the road for a couple of weeks. Users have been informed. The possibility of borrowing the Brightlingsea bus is being explored. Cllr Read spoke of how the contributions for the Communty Bus have decreased in the past year:

“We would have been very low if it wasn’t for the very kind donation by the Quay Quilters. I would like to let more residents know that the Communty Bus is available for hire.”

But not until the minibus hospital has patched it up.

The meeting then heard how the Wivenhoe Youth Hub is in need of more volunteers. All that is needed is willingness for a routine CRB check and energy. PLENTY of energy. The rewards are endless. You can’t measure GRINNNIG, something that the big folk down at The Hub seem to do a lot.

As for the location?

Ah… the Philip Road Centre. Which brings us to the Community Opportunities Group.

Mr Mayor confirmed that at the recent meeting:

“The Philip Road Centre was discussed, as well as the old police houses. St John’s Ambulance building was also on the agenda. We spoke about any available funds, should the opportunity present itself to purchase the property.”

HONK! Major parallels here with the fine work being carried out in Sunny Colch by @TheCreativeCoop in partnership with @asset_transfer.

All of this planning and possible community purchases can lead to a dull Wivenhoe Town Council. Sometimes you just need to let down what is left of your hair and have something of a hyperlcoal party.

Did someone just shoehorn onto the agenda the Diamond Jubilee Celebrations?

More volunteers are needed to help out with the WTC planned events. Bucket shakers in particular would be welcome. You’d do very well indeed to rattle your best B & Q bucket on the gates of the KGV and come out with a £2,400 donation. Which is exactly what WTC has managed to do with a recent funding application to help out with Jubilee week in Wivenhoe. The possibility of a fireworks display is being explored to best use this money.

Staying clear of jokes…

And with good reason to. There is very much the view on WTC that the expenditure for Jubilee week needs to be understood in terms of being secured by external funding. When you factor in the work of the planned Jubilee Garden, a figure close to £30k appears on the balance sheet.

Blimey.

But none of this has come out of the budget at the expense of the usual work and responsibilities of WTC. Times are tight, but Her Maj only gets to celebrate sixty years on the throne once every… sixty years, or something.

Cllr Read expressed the consensus that:

“We can hold our heads high - we have worked well to achieve this external funding.”

But there is still much work to be done around Wivenhoe. Mr Mayor admitted as much when updating on the recent meeting to review the Wivenhoe Town Plan:

“We met to consider our priorities. We have more or less achieved our outcomes, but some issues remain - disabled access at the train station, the 20 mph speed limit in lower Wivenhoe, the health centre, leisure and education, dog fouling.”

Pooch pooh may seem like a minor item on the list, but as the Wivenhoe Communty Day of Action demonstrated last year, fouling up the streets remains a top priority for many residents. Not wanting to cause a stink, but a considerable debate then filled the chamber.

The idea of a voluntary dog foul watch scheme was suggested. This has worked well for Speed Watch, so why not with excrement? The term Pooh Fairy was floated.

I know just the person…

Mr Mayor was keen to keep the Town Plan on track and not to slip up on any skid marks elsewhere. He confirmed that four community assets have been identified. These are defined as buildings that WTC would like to try and purchase for the community, should they ever appear on the market, and should funds become available.

It’s a game of Fantasy Freeholds, but for the record, the locations are: the Philip Road Centre, St John’s Ambulance Building, Gothic House and the Garrison House along East Street.

Correspondence from The British Legion was then considered. The proposals from the fine folk down by the Quay is to take up the responsibility once again of organising the Parade through the town each year. This has historically been the responsibility of the Legion, but WTC has helped of late. Finance was a consideration and was discussed, as well as other issues…

And finally - charity events. Mr Mayor was keen to plug the diary dates of the Dennis Stratton gig at the William Loveless Hall this weekend [blimey] and the Diamond Jubilee Ball at the William Loveless Hall [yeah, yeah] on 2nd June. There is also the annual WTC Vs Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club match on the evening of 11th July.

And then just as it was about time to prop up the back bar at The Greyhound with a half pint of shandy, AOB threw up…

St John’s Ambulance Hall.

Oh Lordy.

The most detailed discussion of the evening took place for what was the third sitting on the subject. At least it is keeping in line with the three planning reports being written by the CBC planning officer.

It’s all about detail, Comrades; it’s all about the DP4 policy. Which just so happens to be the criteria under which the esteemed members of the CBC Planning Committee will be using to judge whether the old historic building can be demolished or not.

One of the requirements of the DP4 is that a community facility can be demolished if there is a comparable community facility within 800 metres. Lookey lookey here - it’s only the William Loveless Hall [where else?]

Ah, but as the good Cllr’s pointed out, this is already well over-subscribed and so can be discounted.

Cllr Andrea Vaughan explained that it will be “at least ten years” before we can redevelop the police house,” suggesting that these aren’t a comparable community facility either.

The outcome is that WTC will write to the CBC Planning Committee, detailing the “inaccuracy” of the report that has been written.

And finally - cop-option, aka there is an empty seat to be sat at around the WTC chamber.

We’re “awaiting confirmation from CBC” apparently, Comrades.

Sitting on my hands, as ever.

They’re back!

Yep, that time of year again. A cursory glance back at m’blog for oooh, some twelve months ago, and it seems that I was blogging all about the Bluebells of Wivenhoe.

Well I never.

We appear to be six days ahead of schedule this spring with the first sighting of the lovely Wivenhoe bluebells. Truth be told and I probably shot the pictures last spring back in January and then sat on the blog post for a couple of months.

Hey hoe.

But yeah, I wandered lonely as a cloud through Wivenhoe Wood early on Sunday morning. It’s slightly trick to remain inconspicuous even in the great outdoors when you are top to toe in SEXY lycra. Dog walkers moved away. Nature deserted Wivenhoe as the wood pigeons, voles and beetles did themselves in on the muddy banks of the Colne.

Only joking.

A large alsatian did go sniffing around where his wet nose really shouldn’t be sniffing around though.

I mean the bluebells of course.

And so how exactly do you present a beautiful blue scene of bluebells in an interesting manner that you didn’t already try and put across some twelve months ago?

Um…

Let the snapping hopefully tell the story. The temptation was there to simply re-post up the images from last spring. But then I wouldn’t get the Sunday morning opportunity to get friendly with an alsatian with a big wet nose as I pranced around Wivenhoe Wood wearing SEXY lycra.

I feel that I have come full circle with these seasonal blog posts: last year I did this, this year I have done exactly the same again. Which is why I am going to take this blog offline at midnight and bring to a close almost a decade of hyperlocal activity.

Ha ha.

Yeah, right…

I soon experienced something similar back in m’South London days. I blogged about the erection [ooh] of the Sunny Stockwell Christmas Tree. Twelve months later and I did the exact same thing again.

Time to move on, time to move offline.

But I am a creature of habit and routine. I turned the online cul de sac around into a situation in which to reflect and celebrate anything worth championing at the end of each year.

I’m not saying that the Bluebells of Wivenhoe will be a Sunny Stockwell Christmas Tree moment, but at least the continual snapping each spring will give me the chance to walk around Wivenhoe Wood wearing SEXY lycra.

Bonzo?

BONZO?

To the Congregational Hall! …on Sunday afternoon for the first official rehearsal of the 2012 Wivenhoe Open Air Shakespeare performance of The Tempest.

Hurrah!

Hang on…

Open Air? Shakespeare? A hit and miss hyperlocal blogger who last trod the boards back in 1986, when he was booed off stage for being even more wooden than the planks that he was poncing about on?

Rest easy, Comrades. I was very kindly invited along to ‘document the project digitally and capture the progression of the production from start to show time.’

Or to blog about it, basically.

Phew.

After the eight year hiatus for Open Air Shakespeare (folks have lives…) the decision by Sheila Foster to stage the Bard al fresco once again appears to be paying off. Following the initial call to arms open meting and then the auditions of last month, The Tempest 2012 now has a cast list and a production crew.

Plus a bored blogger, who just missed out on the part of the young, dashing lead of Ferdinand. That’s how the rejection letter ever so politely put it, anyway.

There was a first day buzz about the rehearsals at the grand setting of the Congregational Hall on Sunday afternoon. Cast members eagerly exchanged news of their parts like sixth form students sharing the high and lows of their exam results.

What did you get in Drama?

Um, best stick to blogging…

Copies of the script were clasped and props appeared. My Sir, what a mighty fine BIG STICK you have.

An incredibly tight schedule is in place between now and 25th July, when The Tempest takes to the great outdoors in Wivenhoe. Plus a possible slight change in location, which will hopefully be confirmed over the coming days. Wivenhoe appears to be blessed with enough back gardens for Shakespeare to shake his incredibly BIG STICK at.

A brief troupe talk, and then it was straight into workshops and singing sessions on Sunday afternoon. You need to experience Shakespeare; you need to live the characters and get a feel of the emotions contained within the text. You need to head to the back kitchen at the Congregational Hall to get a peek at the climax of the love scene.

Cripes.

Under the expert musical guidance of Nick White, the specially written songs for the production were introduced to the cast. Tape measures ran up the inside leg to capture the costume measurements, and the hit and miss hyperlocal blogger just managed to avoid filling in for an actor who has “over-exerted himself” at Much Ado up the road at The Lakeside.

These blog posts don’t write themselves, y’know.

We were introduced to some of the physical symbolism that will be a feature throughout the costumes for the cast. The fertility look stood proud, so to speak, sitting comfortably with the *ahem* sex change of one of the major characters.

Only in Wivenhoe…

And so with three months to go until the five performance run of the 2012 Open Air Shakespeare, twice weekly rehearsals are now well underway. It is an ambitious schedule, taking in rehearsal space at The Congregational Hall, the William Loveless Hall [where else?] and a new community space down at the Business Centre. Plus a few private houses also kindly opening up to accommodate the need.

This is true theatre in the community.

All lost! To prayers, to prayers! All lost!

Oh Lordy.

Full flickr feed.

Wivenhoe Town 1, CRC 0

To Broad Lane! …on Saturday afternoon for the Wivenhoe Town FC Community Match Day experience. The Punctuation Police amongst you will note that Community, Match and Day are all capped up.

No coincidence, Comrades.

EVERY SATURDAY [whoops, apologies Punctuation Police] is of course a community match day experience for the Dragons, but for one day of the year, a significant Saturday is deemed an official Community Match Day experience.

Phew.

Pleased that this has been cleared up.

Nothing SCREAMS [yeah, yeah] Community Match Day experience more than face painting. Batman, beetles and butterflies - and that was just for the blokes behind the goal.

Boom, boom.

With the bargain Community Match Day experience entrance fee of a single one-pound sterling, everyone was smiling. Well, almost everyone as @AnnaJCowen arrogantly cycled past the poor bloke on the gate and obliviously tried to gain free entry.

Poor form, Poor girl.

Coffers coughed up in the bucket, and it was time to explore the bouncy castle and go-kart track. Something for the girls, something for the boys. You could even have one foot in both camps, if you weren’t sure which way to swing. Community Match Day experiences are all inclusive like that.

The visitors for the Dragons on such a prestige day were CRC, a farm team of Cambridge United, currently making hay and sitting happily in fifth place in the Ridgeons Premier. Talk about party-poopers - the last thing that you want from a Community Match Day experience in front of the sponsors and supporters is something of a home kicking.

First half underway, and it soon became clear why the Dragons are bottom three basement boys and CRC are serving out an apprentice as some sort of biological experiment to morph into the men that will someday play for Cambridge United.

Bigger, better and more powerful at ploughing up and down the wings - that was the CRC farm team all right. It’s a mighty big pitch at Broad Lane [um, it's a football pitch] and the gaps opened up at the back for CRC to exploit.

As one would expect from a club that takes Community seriously all year round, Wivenhoe Town are forging ahead with the master plan to look to the future and take the club forward. With the eldest player wearing the blue shirt a tender twenty-six years of age, this is a team that is promising for the future, if a little short on experience when it comes across a team of strapping farm hands.

A trench mentality set in, quite literally in the home dug out with the ploughed up touchline taking on Somme proportions. Almost lost in the Broad Lane Lake was Cat Weasel the Lino, continually berated by the home bench for his lack of communication skills.

“OI Lino! You told us you would listen to us before kick off!”

Cat Weasel’s hearing was on par with his fading eyesight.

Nil nil at half time, and it was time to enjoy the Community Match Day interval entertainment. Which can only mean one thing - a kids penalty shoot out.

Hurrah!

The temptation is to always wear an over-sized shirt and waddle on to the pitch on your knees, sucking on a rather large lollipop and throwing a hissy fit whenever a female looks at you. You then twat the ball in the back of the net and bugger off with the prize like the little kid that you are.

But that would just be silly, right?

Truth be told and I probably couldn’t have kept up with the competition from the little ankle biters on the pitch. Ball after ball was blasted, with a half decent ‘keeper pulling off some fine saves.

I believe the children are out future, treat them well and let them lead the way…

Which at Wivenhoe Town FC on a Community Match Day means rewarding the half decent ‘keeper with the trophy for the half time entertainment. The kid ‘keeper looked like he had just won the World cup. Nope - HE REALLY DID LOOK LIKE HE HAD JUST WON THE WORLD CUP, with a replica of the slightly warped ghost figure holding the globe being passed on.

Fine work, fella.

My Commodore activities caught up with me in the bar - once, twice, three times a season. I tried to hold down a conversation about the merits of the home midfield, but lost it somewhere, calling every player Brian.

Whoops.

No apologies however after half time. The Dragons came out fired up [oh yes] and a slight glance of a header saw them take an unlikely lead. Stick that in yer fancy farm team straw hat as you plough the fields and scatter.

Sometimes community wins the day, and sometimes, just sometimes, so do Wivenhoe Town FC. The home team hung on for the remaining forty minutes or so, and concluded Community Match Day experience with three points.

Cupckaes were called for to celebrate.

Eh?

Bicycles were being unlocked for the trip back to base, and a van pulled up and started to offload enough cupcakes to feed an Islington boutique full of self-declared important poncey Sex and the City sorts. Which isn’t exactly the Wivenhoe Town FC home dressing room, Community Match Day experience or not.

With a private event taking place in the clubhouse later in the evening, the cupcakes weren’t for the winning team. Y’don’t say.

Ahh - Wivenhoe Town FC, always the bridesmaid…

Who needs a wedding day when you have a Community Match Day, Comrades?

Full flickr feed.

To the Lakeside Theatre! …on Thursday evening for the opening night of Much Ado About Nothing… The Musical. In a move that some are dubbing the West End Comes to Wivenhoe, this locally produced production was a brave move in bringing contemporary songs to Shakespeare.

It should be a never the twain moment - mixing The Bard with Bachelor Boy [blimey!] is not something that they teach you at GCSE English Literature. But somehow the unlikely bedfellows of Shakespeare crossed with 60′s pop was the perfect combination.

What’s all the fuss about? It’s all about storytelling.

As the title suggest, Much Ado About Nothing…

Plus don’t forget The Musical part added to the end. The West End genre has been devalued in recent years. From the classic shows such as Cats through to the current woe of We Will Rock You, something magical has been lost from the Musical tag.

But not here in Sunny Colch, and most certainly not in the West End Comes to Wivenhoe production of Much Ado. Commercial tat such as Mamma Mia shoe horns any old story to fit the songs. The opposite was true of Much Ado at The Lakeside. The Shakespeare craft and storytelling stood strong, with the choice of songs not only complimenting, but also adding to the dialogue. It wasn’t Shakespeare dumbed down, but it did add a little more meaning to the flow of the script.

I’d love to see Richard III… The Musical.

Directed by Wivenhoe local Shane Diggens, and with sister Angie adding her expertise with the music, this was very much a hyperlocal production that deserves a wider stage. With a very young cast and production crew, this is on the job training for potential future professional theatre careers. Most of the talent on show on Thursday evening could already cut it on a bigger stage.

Ambition was shown with the addition of a number of especially composed songs for the show. I’m the Don, I’d Rather Be Dead than Marry You [blimey] and From Hero to Zero, the show stopper come the close, all sat comfortably with the likes of Fleetwood Mac, The Crystals and Status Quo [cripes!]

Aaron Reilly as Benedick and Anna Panton as Beatrice captured an uneasy chemistry for the jousting couple. Zoe Matthews’s Hero lead role allowed her amazing voice to carry the role of the fallen woman. No surprises that Shane Diggens’ performance as Claudio captivated the Lakeside stage, with a stunning solo singing role to portray the hurt of his lost love.

With many of the cast members being given the opportunity to step up to the big stage from the ADP Theatre School, the production is to be praised for allowing local children to also learn and impress on the stage. The Watch gang of Holly Lofting, Maisie Warner, Sophie Sparrow, Mabel Hall and Charlie Price didn’t disappoint. Give the kids five years or so and they will be swinging their swords and singing out Status Quo classics on the stage of The Lakeside…

As was expected from a defiantly local Essex production, the end scene finished with a classic Essex wedding. A fight didn’t break out at the reception, but it was a classy affair, all the same. Which was much like Much Ado, which continues the West End Comes to Wivenhoe run with performances on Friday evening, a Saturday matinee and Saturday evening show. You should still be able to pick up tickets over here.

This is true collaboration between different groups and organisations in the community. ADP Theatre is doing some wonderful things in Wivenhoe to help support and grow local talent. The Lakeside Theatre likewise is to be praised for helping to put on the production. Plus don’t forget The Mercury Theatre that kindly sells the tickets.

The next production from the same theatrical troupe will be a run of Fawlty Towers. Having stormed the William Loveless Hall [where else?] in Wivenhoe, three new sketches are coming to Sunny Colch in July. The Hotel Inspectors, Communication Problems and The Germans will have a run from 4th - July at The Lakeside. Clickety click for some online ticket action.

West End Comes to Wivenhoe?

It will be Wivenhoe Comes to the West End shortly…

Splendid.

Full flick feed.

I’ve received some half decent response from my One Man Multi Media About Town effort in capturing digitally [oh yes] the offline splendour that was the Wivenhoe Passion Play over the Easter weekend. So much so that I thought that it was about time that I attempted to weave it all together.

I’ve wanted to work much more with audio slideshows online for sometime now. I tired this medium [oooh] back in m’South London days with a hit and miss ratio. The technology at the time was bandwidth hungry, leaving you with a multi media presentation that toppled your server over.

Whoops.

But as the offline landscape has changed to the North Essex estuary wilds, so has the digital landscape. New tools are appearing overnight it seems. I’ve been trialing a number of these, trying to come up with a compromise that enables me to turn around content quickly, but also offers an audio visual response that is worthy of publishing.

The perfect opportunity to make this online marriage [GEDDIN] was the Wivenhoe Passion Play.

Well I never.

I have the audio, the images, and hopefully an online audience. I bundled together the package below during the lunch hour using Soundslides. It was incredibly intuitive, and relatively easy to publish online.

But now for the payback.

Will it topple the server over? Will anyone view it? Is it worth my time and investment ($39.99 per licence, which removes the demo branding.)

Much like the lovely Wivenhoe Passion Play, I fear that there won’t be a happy ending.

We’ll see…

I rather like the Gavin Bryars angle to it.

Fancy a sail on the good ship Wivenhoe - Fingringhoe - Rowhedge Ferry? Course you do. Which is just as well, seeing as though the maiden voyage for the 2012 season started over the Easter weekend. Talk about choppy waters - sick bags at the ready ahead of the Rowhedge mooring. And that was just for the bonzo that was boarding the boat.

Boom boom.

But before you head down to the old Sailing Club and the jetty to for the journey over to the Other Side, what you will need is a handy Ferry Timetable for 2012.

And whaddya know?

A trip down to the Bookshop / other reputable local retailers, and for the price of £1.50, the 20th anniversary issue is now available for any salty seadogs that wish to up anchor for a pint at the, um, Anchor.

Hurrah!

What should essentially be a glorified bus timetable is actually another brilliant read. I blogged last year about how dressing up the tide times with hyperlocal aquatic words of wisdom and stimulation requires some degree of creative thought.

The 2012 timetable surpasses the esteemed 2011 scribbling’s, with a timetable that covers everything from crabs to sea kale.

Cripes.

It almost makes the hyperlocal high tide data something of an unnecessary distraction.

Catherine Alexander, Marika Footring and @MrBoom have come up with a cracker of a read that is worthy of your £1.50 - which coincidentally is also the rather generous price for a single to Rowhedge. Best get a return though, y’know, just in case…

Contained within the colour production [ooh] are ideas, inspiration and interpretations of what the muddy banks of the Colne means for the people that live, work and enjoy the estuary. Ferry founder Brian Sinclair offers a historical approach about the aims of the organisation; Birder Supreme Richard Allen offers up his amazing illustrations, and Mr Mule comes up with some beautiful words to capture the passing of time over the Colne.

Chairman Alan Thomas talks of the successful 2011 season, both in passenger numbers and patronage from some generous sponsors, Wivenhoe Town Council, May Fair and RBS. Secretary Richard Allerton writes a fitting tribute to Ferry Bo’sun Doug Meyers - Mr Ferryman. A simple blog post can’t capture the moment - the obituary and tribute is required reading.

Poems from Phoebe Southgate and George McKissock set the scene ahead of your sailing. Equally poetic are the words from our friends at Fingringhoe Wick Nature Reserve, with top tales for spotting an elusive Nightingale.

Diary dates are filled in with the Nottage Summer Exhibition running from 13th May to 16th September (Elizabeth Morris, Robert Mowle and Ken Kempley) and the Rowhedge Strawberry Fayre taking place on 30th June this summer.

Brian Sinclair covers the resurrection of the ferry, looking back over the past twenty years from a plywood boat to the rebuilding of the jetties and the current slick service. David Ward of the Beth Chatto Gardens gives some advice on growing coastal plants (Drought? What drought?)

Wild Swimming on the Colne offers up an alternative way to reach the Other Side, and one which I’m about to brave myself after taking two summers to pluck up the courage.

Wetsuit ahoy!

Boat building sits comfortably with a piece on pan fried pollack with curried mussel beurre blanc.

Blimey.

A short overview on smuggling on the Colne claims:

“Rowhedge was considered one of the roughest of all Colne and Blackwater villages.”

Equally intriguing is the claim:

“What remains is a warren of tunnels, particularly under Black Buoy Hill. Some are said to run up from the river to the High Street via St Mary’s and the Black Buoy pub. Many tunnels are blocked off. A knock on cellar walls reveals a hollow space behind, and who knows what lies there…”

Probably a May Fair survivor from the early ’80s…

The Witches of Wivenhoe (past, not present) are explored by David Williams, and Ginny Water (most definitely not a Witch of Wivenhoe) fondly remembers a dawn picnic on the river Colne. With a 4am start, the early bird catches the bacon.

And finally, the Bank Voles at Ferry Marsh are mentioned in great detail by Darren Tansley, the Water for Wildlife Officer of Essex Wildlife Trust.

Sixty-two pages, ferry sailings from April through until October and even a Who Has Caught the Crab picture competition.

Happy sailing.