onionbagblog

Y’know what we need to get us through this miserable North Essex estuary wilds weather? The Esteemed Organ of Truth and Justice to bring us some sunshine and happiness.

Yes. That’s what we need.

Careful what you wish for, Comrades.

Yep - it’s only The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Blimey.

Being careful what they wish for (and hopefully using the type of skilled judgment usually reserved for selecting a new Pope) is:

Wivenhoe’s Forthcoming Elections on the front page.

It’s not a game of pin the tail on the donkey, dontcha know.

Um, you sure?

“Four political parties will be contesting each of the two Wivenhoe seats at the forthcoming Colchester Borough Council elections.”

The full runners and riders are available over here. Blindfolds at the ready, and a trip to the William Loveless Hall [where else?] on the 3rd May beckons.

Flick over to p.2 and we find:

Successful Drugs Raid at Wivenhoe

…which is not something that you read everyday. At least it’s not Unsuccessful Drugs Raid at Wivenhoe:

“Essex Police carried out a successful drugs raid at an industrial unit in Wivenhoe. More than 170 cannabis plants were discovered when officers raided the property in the Avenue, opposite the Co-op.”

Cripes.

That explains the empty Pringles aisle over at the Co-op of late.

For those of you that have yet to succumb to the trance like state of inner conscience and spiritual enlightenment that a cup of extra strong Coca before bedtime brings, your full attention is required on p.10 for the Wivenhoe Town Council Annual Report for the Year Ending 31 March 2012.

Um, anyone got anything to seduce the pain?

Yep, that time of year again. That time when Mr Mayor reflects on what has been achieved around the town over the past twelve months, looks ahead to what work is still required, and then very kindly hands out brown envelopes stuffed full of wonga (actually cheques) for some very deserving causes around Wivenhoe.

For the record, the Annual Town Meeting takes place on 9th May with a 7:30pm start at the William Loveless Hall [where else?] As well as distributing funds raised from the fine Mayor’s Charity Fund, the meeting is also the opportunity to discuss any specific points and to consider any resolutions.

It is also something of a hit and miss blog post picture opportunity waiting to happen.

The Esteemed Organ of Truth and Justice kindly carries the complete Annual Report. To condense it would be to give a disservice to all that has been achieved over the past twelve months.

But hey hoe, let’s give it a go…

“With six new members injecting fresh ideas and enthusiasm, the Town Council continues being very busy and proactive in its outlook and not just reacting to events as they unfold.”

The loss of £16,000 annually in the Parish Grant from Colchester Borough Council is mentioned. Those at the bottom of the political food chain often end up being the most hungry. The purchase of the two police houses by WTC is explained as costing £5 per household per year.

Planning matters covers the St John’s Ambulance Hall, which seems to never disappear, and the University’s plan for a multi-tier car park, which doesn’t look like it will even get to the lift off stage.

Caution is drawn towards the new National Planning Policy, which seems to favour commercial developers over communities. The Working for Wivenhoe agreement that all four borough councillors have signed up to pledges to use Section 106 funds throughout the town.

Cook’s Shipyard is addressed with:

“Concerns with regards the access road and aesthetics of the dwellings…”

Bit late for that now.

Elsewhere and Wivenhoe in Bloom, cemeteries, salting of the roads, the Co-op zebra crossing, fly-posting on telegraph poles, the Joan Hickson blue plaque, the William Loveless Hall [new gents toilets ahoy!] the Jubilee / Wildlife Garden, the refurbishment of the Colne Barrier, WAGA [show 8th September] the new health centre [happening] the launch of the new WTC website [oooh] and the good ‘ol Communty Bus.

Quite a year, quite a lot achieved.

The doom and gloom crowd will no doubt still find some dog pooh to go PAH at. Hey! Here’s a suggestion: why not step forward with solutions, rather than continued criticism?

The Wivenhoe Annual Town Meeting on 9th May is an open meeting.

Speaking of the William Loveless Hall [where else?] and Mr Mule offers a charming review of Ruddigore, recently performed by the Wivenhoe Gilbert and Sullivan Society:

“It is not high art. Nor does it attempt to make any deeply meaningful points. It’s cheerful, in other words. A number of singers shone: Pip Bradstock, Fiona Morris and Hilary Brunning.”

Comparisons are then made with the Rolling Stones’ much maligned Goats Head Soup album from ’73, which is not something that you are likely to read in a Sunday Times review.

Splendid stuff.

As is the overview of the work carried out by Wivenhoe Helping Hands on p.14:

“In April 2010, a group of Wivenhoe residents got together to start Wivenhoe Helping Hands, a voluntary service which assists local folk of all ages. The enthusiastic initial response has been maintained, the first 20 volunteers have been augmented and now we have over 40.”

It is this hyperlocal approach to helping hands [capped down] that separates Wivenhoe apart from many other towns. Essentially it is a touchy feely social services form of assistance that is being offered -but without all the red tape and busy body interference. Volunteers are always required. 07834 452 764 should see you through.

Ex-Iron Maiden guitarist Dennis Stratton’s gig this weekend at the William Loveless Hall [BLIMEY] gets the big up treatment on p.15:

“The 70 year old Mr Mayor is a firm fan of the rock guitarist and will be wearing his Iron Maiden T-shirt for the concert.”

Well I never.

A 3pm start on Saturday 21st with tickets costing a fiver. Air guitars a bonus. Bring your own.

The Funny Farm gig on the 26th April gets a much deserved plug on p.15, and then that’s pretty much yer lot this month from the Esteemed Organ of Truth and Justice.

Is it still raining outside?

Nah.

The healing power of The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle has cleared up any lingering dark clouds of doubt and left a ray of optimism floating throughout the town.

Interesting drugs story…