onionbagblog

Four front page stories, not one about Wivenhoe. At least The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is living up to one half of the side of the bargain.

And so another month, another hand delivery of the esteemed organ of truth and justice.

Hurrah!

One way of looking at the lack of Wivenhoe hyperlocal news coverage is that not a lot is happening in Wivenhoe. Sleep easy Comrades - all we have to consider is the wonderful Wivenhoe Funny Farm Comedy Club, flying the flag for the town with a presence on p.2:

Wivenhoe’s Very Own Comedy Club:

“The next meeting of Wivenhoe’s very own comedy club, the Wivenhoe Funny Farm, will be held on Thursday 29th March.”

Not such a laughing matter, and disproving the theory that noting ever happens in Wivenhoe is:

Late Night Street Attack in Wivenhoe

Not a good news story, and a timely reminder that although we may live in a relatively crime free town, there is no such thing as a utopian existence out in these North Essex estuary wilds:

“A man in his mid fifties lost two teeth after being accosted and knocked to the ground by a group of teenagers late at night in The Avenue, Wivenhoe. The man was approached by three youths and three teenage girls walking in the opposite direction towards lower Wivenhoe.

He was asked for a cigarette and says that after refusing had gravel stones thrown at him. The incident occurred just after 12:20am. Of the incident itself and the town, the victim said: I still think Wivenhoe is a safe place. I was just unlucky.”

Anyone with information can call the Essex Police non-emergency number of 101. I’ve spoken with the chap in question. He is incredibly cheery and upbeat about what happened. Here’s hoping he continues to hold the same high opinion of the town.

And so one comedy story from The Chronicle, one crime incident. Fancy a bit of folk, folks?

Open Stage Evening:

“Wivenhoe Folk Club will be hosting one of its popular open stage evenings on Thursday 5th April. A great evening’s entertainment should be assured, provided by a diversity of acoustic performers, singers, musicians, poets and storytellers.”

Which is quite a broad church, Comrades. If you fancy a floor spot then head to The Flag on 5th April for an 8pm start.

The very nature of a hyperlocal newspaper covering the Great Divide between a couple of estuary towns and all the flotsam and jetsam that gets shipwrecked in between - is the ability to cover non-news stories that still give you a smile:

Hilary’s Gardening Services, Where No Job is Too Small

“Well known in Wivenhoe as a successful writer and illustrator, Hilary Lazell is also accomplished in green finger activities. Currently she has a number of clients in the area, and she is now looking to expand her gardening business.”

Anyone who has had the pleasure of seeing Hilary’s light touch approach to illustration will no doubt appreciate how this delicate style can transfer successfully to the great outdoors.

Job’s a good ‘un.

And finally…

Former Mayor Calls for Vigilance

“A former Mayor of Wivenhoe and a former town councillor, Cyril Liddy, has recently emphasised the need to be vigilant concerning the possible development of a waste recycling works at Fingringhoe.”

The former Mayor of Wivenhoe will also shortly be calling for you to vote for him as the Labour Party candidate in the Quay ward for Colchester Borough Council. To be completely fair to Cyril, he has been upfront about this for the past six months or so. The Chronicle also acknowledges this disclosure.

The Fingringhoe issue isn’t quite so clear-cut. Essex County Council is shying away from the 24/7 plant across the muddy banks of the Colne. If a preferred site however encounters local opposition, then there is the possibility that Fingringhoe will once again be in the frame.

Good luck Cyril, with both campaigns.

And so five Wivenhoe stories covering comedy, crime, folk crooners, green fingers and Fingringhoe through the eyes of Wivenhoe. And not necessarily in that order, either.

Who ever said nothing ever happens?