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The planning application to demolish the St John’s Ambulance Hall along Chapel Road is now OFF the agenda for the Colchester Borough Council Planning Committee that is meeting on Thursday. New evidence has been submitted, suggesting that the Hall is still used by the community. This has been verified by the St John’s Company Secretary and Property Officer.

The main reason for recommending the demolition was because it had been argued by the applicant that the building is no longer used by the community. A deferment is in place - the planning report will now have to be re-written.

A slight change to the April and May schedule from the good folk of Moving Image - no worries, there’s still a wonderful poster in which to display. At the centre of the changes is the amendment of the Oscar winning The Artist appearing in Wivenhoe.

Some might say that there are already sufficient ‘artists’ of sorts around the town come chucking out time.

Behind all of this hyperlocal shuffling of the film reels (of sorts) is the fickle world of the film distributors. There is a definite pecking order when it comes to what flicks can be shown. A hyperlocal independent community cinema for a North Essex estuary town falls just below The Odeon at Leicester Square.

As Michael from Moving Image rather helpfully explains:

“We’ve had to amend the Moving Image programme as the distributors have decided to postpone the release of The Artist to cinemas such as ours. We’ve managed to confirm Zelig [ACE] and move Young Adult and Shame forwards. The new date for The Artist is 9th June, followed by The Descendants, The Woman in the Fifth and A Dangerous Method.”

Golden days of Moving Image I tell you. Golden days.

listen to ‘#Wivenhoe #Wittertainment with @wivmovingimage’ on Audioboo

Funny old game, football; managerial sackings with less than a season in the hot seat, Wembley semi-finals and high profile figures signing up with non-league non-hopefuls as part of a club publicity stunt. It would never happen at Broad Lane.

Oh, hang on…

Thankfully Wivenhoe Town FC is very much a grass roots community club. Emphasis is as much placed on junior and youth development as it is on the big boys wearing the first team strip for the Dragons (who actually happen to be rather young.)

This belief in community will be on show on Saturday 14th April, when the Dragons are hosting a Community Day up at Broad Lane. The visitors for the Ridgeons Premier Division fixture will be the mysteriously named CRC. This isn’t an acronym for Chelsea R Crap, but in fact a Cambridge based non-league outfit.

Admission on the day will be a bargain £1 for adults, and FREE for U-14′s. Being a community day, it would be a half decent gesture if you could cough up a little more, should you be able to afford it.

The usual FUN elements are all in place - bouncy castle, food, booze. Sounds like FUN. You can never get enough FUN out of capping up the F, the U and the N.

FUN.

But it’s all about the football, Brian. The Dragons are on a bit of a roll since the Christmas period. The proud record reads: P 10, W4, D 3, L 3 - which for Wivenhoe Town FC truly does represent something of a roll.

The team is even third in the table - third from bottom.

The only way is up, etc.

A tremendous amount of work continues to take place behind the scenes up at Broad Lane from a very small but incredibly committed bunch of local folk. Resources are short, but the passion is there. It is no short-term fix, both on and off the pitch. The belief in building from the junior team up will hopefully start to show some payback in seasons to come.

But for now, there is the Community Day on the 14th.

Funny old game.

To the muddy banks of the Colne! …early on Sunday morning for the bi-annual Wivenhoe Society riverbank clean-up. A slight bit of confusion with the clocks springing forward - or was it bouncing back? - but unlike the muddy banks of the Colne, time and tide wait for all within the Wivenhoe Society. Sorry that I missed the group photo, Comrades.

As someone who commutes along the Wivenhoe Trail each day, I rather anticipate these communal clean ups. Random littering does take place, but the majority of the flotsam and jetsam that get washed up on our shoreline comes the way of tide.

Probably via Rowhedge…

Only joking.

The pace of modern life often dictates that Coke cans and the like get left behind as the daily dash to clock on takes priority. Taking time out twice a year to give the old girl a good seeing to leaves everyone with a smile on their face.

The good folk of Wiv Soc are a rather random lot with little / loads of organisation. The loose nature of these events doesn’t mean that a clipboard type dictates which patch you take, but somehow their is a collective efficiency that just works.

This is *shhh* Dave’s Big Society being played out on a true hyperlocal level, but thankfully without any of the political posturing that those wanting to orgnaise the concept of community are trying to formalise.

Folk just know when their time is needed. They are more than willing to step forward in Wivenhoe and add any skills they have. Joining us on Sunday were the helping hands (and bicycle trailers) of Transition Town Wivenhoe, and the big boys and their buggies from Wivenhoe Town Council.

We’re all in this together, Comrades.

Ferry Marsh was my starting destination. There wasn’t a great deal to collect to be honest. What I truly love about these occasions is that you get to explore your mud lark passion of poking your size 9 wellies around where they really shouldn’t be, without raising any suspicion.

Removed from the riverbank on Sunday morning were the most random items of junk, ranging from golf tees (a Wivenhoe Links golf course?) and a sodden three-seater settee.

Cripes.

It takes some effort to dump last year’s range from DFS. It was rolled around the riverbank, like a mud splattered snowball gaining extra layers, before the boys from WTC scooped it up in their buggy. Expect to see some au naturale furniture soon added to the reception at the William Loveless Hall [where else?]

It all got a little lively for 10am on a Sunday morning when the iconic Towers of the University came into sight. Plenty of whooping and yay-ing - what can it all mean? Were the future generation of world leaders cheering on the elderly and anarchic mud larks of Wivenhoe?

Ah, I see, that will be the warm-up for the Sport Relief Mile then.

And then come midday, and the bi-annual Wiv Soc riverbank clean-up came to a close for another six months. We posed for a photograph for the very generous sponsors of EWD Re-cycling from up the road in Brighlingsea, and then buggered off back to base for a date with the washing machine.

You mucky pup.

I cycled back along the Trail later in the day, en route to Sunny Colch and some further business in town. The riverbank looked immaculate. Many hands make light work etc, and it really was a mammoth effort from the unassuming Wiv Soc folk to help put in place a little hyperlocal pride as you approach this side of town.

Pretty much like Mother Nature itself, it’s a continued effort in keeping the landscape around the muddy banks of the Colne clean. Autumnal leaves and the like have their own natural ways of dispersing; cans of Special Brew aren’t quite as clever.

Cleansed, calm and a collective enjoyment - that’s the muddy banks of the Colne, and not the cans of Special Brew, Comrades.

Six months and counting…

And so here’s episode two of TOWIE - The Other Way is Elmstead, from Mr Mule. Brilliant and bonkers in equal measures. Billed as ‘the infamous goose pate incident,’ you can probably guess what’s coming up…

Whoops.

It’s meant to be taken tongue in cheek, so to speak, Madam.

Four front page stories, not one about Wivenhoe. At least The Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle is living up to one half of the side of the bargain.

And so another month, another hand delivery of the esteemed organ of truth and justice.

Hurrah!

One way of looking at the lack of Wivenhoe hyperlocal news coverage is that not a lot is happening in Wivenhoe. Sleep easy Comrades - all we have to consider is the wonderful Wivenhoe Funny Farm Comedy Club, flying the flag for the town with a presence on p.2:

Wivenhoe’s Very Own Comedy Club:

“The next meeting of Wivenhoe’s very own comedy club, the Wivenhoe Funny Farm, will be held on Thursday 29th March.”

Not such a laughing matter, and disproving the theory that noting ever happens in Wivenhoe is:

Late Night Street Attack in Wivenhoe

Not a good news story, and a timely reminder that although we may live in a relatively crime free town, there is no such thing as a utopian existence out in these North Essex estuary wilds:

“A man in his mid fifties lost two teeth after being accosted and knocked to the ground by a group of teenagers late at night in The Avenue, Wivenhoe. The man was approached by three youths and three teenage girls walking in the opposite direction towards lower Wivenhoe.

He was asked for a cigarette and says that after refusing had gravel stones thrown at him. The incident occurred just after 12:20am. Of the incident itself and the town, the victim said: I still think Wivenhoe is a safe place. I was just unlucky.”

Anyone with information can call the Essex Police non-emergency number of 101. I’ve spoken with the chap in question. He is incredibly cheery and upbeat about what happened. Here’s hoping he continues to hold the same high opinion of the town.

And so one comedy story from The Chronicle, one crime incident. Fancy a bit of folk, folks?

Open Stage Evening:

“Wivenhoe Folk Club will be hosting one of its popular open stage evenings on Thursday 5th April. A great evening’s entertainment should be assured, provided by a diversity of acoustic performers, singers, musicians, poets and storytellers.”

Which is quite a broad church, Comrades. If you fancy a floor spot then head to The Flag on 5th April for an 8pm start.

The very nature of a hyperlocal newspaper covering the Great Divide between a couple of estuary towns and all the flotsam and jetsam that gets shipwrecked in between - is the ability to cover non-news stories that still give you a smile:

Hilary’s Gardening Services, Where No Job is Too Small

“Well known in Wivenhoe as a successful writer and illustrator, Hilary Lazell is also accomplished in green finger activities. Currently she has a number of clients in the area, and she is now looking to expand her gardening business.”

Anyone who has had the pleasure of seeing Hilary’s light touch approach to illustration will no doubt appreciate how this delicate style can transfer successfully to the great outdoors.

Job’s a good ‘un.

And finally…

Former Mayor Calls for Vigilance

“A former Mayor of Wivenhoe and a former town councillor, Cyril Liddy, has recently emphasised the need to be vigilant concerning the possible development of a waste recycling works at Fingringhoe.”

The former Mayor of Wivenhoe will also shortly be calling for you to vote for him as the Labour Party candidate in the Quay ward for Colchester Borough Council. To be completely fair to Cyril, he has been upfront about this for the past six months or so. The Chronicle also acknowledges this disclosure.

The Fingringhoe issue isn’t quite so clear-cut. Essex County Council is shying away from the 24/7 plant across the muddy banks of the Colne. If a preferred site however encounters local opposition, then there is the possibility that Fingringhoe will once again be in the frame.

Good luck Cyril, with both campaigns.

And so five Wivenhoe stories covering comedy, crime, folk crooners, green fingers and Fingringhoe through the eyes of Wivenhoe. And not necessarily in that order, either.

Who ever said nothing ever happens?