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To the Colchester Arts Centre! …on an early autumnal North Essex estuary afternoon for a rare musical performance from the Pop Genius of this Parish.

Mr Mule has many personas, reflecting the man of many talents tag. The Pop Genius billing is one that he likes to shy away from. Shame - maturity over the years may have led him more towards his literary work, but you can take the six string away from the musician, but you can’t take…

Or something.

Martin Newell’s Golden Afternoon in the splendour of the old St Mary-at-the -Walls was the ninth such late summer gathering. The Golden billing lived up to the name. There can be no finer stage for a Sunday afternoon sermon, with the font stage right, and the splendour of the stained glass windows illuminating man and guitar from behind.

I’m no ecclesiastical man of the cloth, but the setting tempted me to sample some red wine, not to mention sacrificing the odd virgin on the altar in-between stage breaks.

Um, good luck in finding those, fella.

And so yep - a rare, rare afternoon celebrating the music of Mr Mule, with a random bit of dancing added for good measure. The boy like glee in his eye is infectious, indicating a man that knows he can still pull this off with ease, even without the safety net of some scribbled poetry.

It’s a wonder that Mr Mule could actually come up with a set list, such is the vast back catalogue upon which to draw upon. A career spent celebrating cassette culture, and now using the modern interweb for this exact same way of cutting out the middleman in distributing music - there’s at least two-dozen more Golden Afternoons if we’re going to ever get through that Mr Mule discography.

The performance on Sunday was one in three parts, and then once again divided into three with three artists taking it in turn on the church stage. Brainstorm Wednesday are a couple of local Wivenhoe lads, well known at The Greyhound Tuesday jam session. No idea what the boys get up to on a Thursday or Friday.

The Significant Others are a Sunny Colch super group of sorts, featuring various members of Surfquake, Lady Bird and the Larks and Judith Chalmers. That’s quite a significant collection of, um, others.

Mr Mule meanwhile spent his time flitting from guitar to grand piano, with a pause for the day job of some poetry mid-set. Anyone who has wandered down Queens Road back at base on a midweek mid-afternoon may be familiar with the intricacies of the Pop Genius’ piano playing abilities.

Amplified from back street estuary town to a church come concert hall, and the sound was indeed evangelical. I reached for my hymnbook mid-set, only to be caught out with the faux pas of a shaggy dog tale all about a talking dog.

New songs were included for the sell-out crowd that travel from all around the country for this annual one-off appearance from the Pop Genius. Chimp World ‘aint gonna make the charts, but the sound of the British Beach Boys if they had lived in a North Essex town is twisted, troubling and totally ACE, all in one simple piano sequence.

With a pause for tea and cake, just as the sun was setting across the South aisle at St Mary at-the-Walls, the final third of the performance featured collaboration and more comic turns.

And so that was the annual Golden Afternoon, polished off to perfection, and then back down the road in Wivenhoe in time for Songs of Praise.

Mr Mule meanwhile is still working, still recording, still writing: still relevant as ever - just listen to the tormented (and spot on) take of rural town life in Farm Shop.

He’s an artist that seems content and comfortable at every stage of his career over the years. The Golden afternoon symbolises this. Rock ‘n roll midnight performance by a mid-50′s Mr Mule would sound slightly silly. Afternoon tea and cake in the church was rather comforting.

Just don’t get too comfortable in those golden years.

Published as part of the Hidden Kiosks project.

The Bike Guru Cafe Workshop is coming to Colchester as part of our latest innovative use of the social space down by the old bus station. The Hidden Kiosks are proud to welcome Matt - for he is the Bike Guru - for a highly enterprising project combining coffee and cycling.

This mix seems like the perfect approach for what we are trying to achieve at the Kiosks. We are keen for all of our partners to try and think of ways in which to use the space as a social gathering, as well as offering a local service that will benefit the people of Colchester.

Matt’s plans impressed the judges so much that we have offered him a three-month tenancy at the Kiosks. The Bike Guru Cafe Workshop will have a grand opening on 30th September, giving the Bike Guru a significant period in which to experiment and learn from his social idea, and then hopefully carry this through to a more permanent business base.

Matt has been trading around Wivenhoe and Colchester for a number of years now as The Bike Guru. He offers a mobile bicycle mechanic service, plus plenty of support in helping local folk to learn more about their bikes and how to make the most of cycling in our community.

It comes as no surprise to find out that Matt’s second passion is coffee. He has had an intensive crash course in the art of preparing the perfect cup. A traditional Italian coffee-making machine has been sourced, and soon the old bus station will add a continental aroma to the air.

Which is all perfect timing, with Matt’s new near neighbours at firstsite scheduled to open the doors of Colchester’s prestigious Visual Arts Facility a week ahead of The Bike Guru Cafe Workshop.

Matt also impressed us with his plans to use the space outside of the usual daytime schedule. This will be very much a social space, with cycling themed film evenings scheduled, as well as intimate performances from local bands.

Keep Colchester Cycling - the bike hire scheme for our area - will also find a base at Kiosks once the workshop is open. Matt is keen to set up a number of guided bikes rides around Colchester and the surrounds, to help local folk appreciate the benefits that a bicycle can bring.

There is currently a tremendous buzz about cycling in Colchester: the cycling status town has been a huge success, cycling champions are leading rides and enabling others to follow - we’ve even had the Tour of GB and the Halfords Tour Series bringing road racing to the streets of Colchester.

What has been missing to date is some form of central cycling hub that can hopefully unite all of this two-wheeled activity. The Bike Guru Cafe Workshop will be much more than a bike repair workshop and a place to sample the best coffee in Colchester.

Both activities are highly social - both will hopefully help to create a social space where ideas and future projects can be forged.

Please do join the Bike Guru for the grand opening at the Hidden Kiosks on 30th September.

Chapeau!

The printing presses are turning, the balance of power is shifting; Brightlingsea is but a blip on the landscape as you stand on one leg outside the Sailing Club, eyes squinting and catch the downstream wind at the wrong time.

What can it all mean, Comrades?

Yep - the Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle - the esteemed organ of truth and justice - has [count 'em] TWO Wivenhoe lead stories for the current print run, compared to the two news in briefs consolation efforts from our Brightlingsea Bro’s.

A win on away goals, I ‘d say.

If only football / cricket / tiddlywinks were as simple.

Council To Hold Public Meeting

…covers the calling of a public meeting (you don’t say) at the Loveless Hall (where else) on 24th September, 2pm prompt. On the agenda? A post-lunch discussion on Football Focus?

Nope - the rather important hyperlocal matter of deciding if WTC should do the dirty with the developer that wants to build “between five and eight” properties on the current public land outside Millfields School:

“Covering an area of almost once acre, the grassward [geddin there!] has been a centre of controversy following a decision by Elmstead Parish Council who own the land, to sell it for development.”

Cutting to the chase, and the proposed back scratching involves Jenny Moody Properties asking the residents of Wivenhoe to roll over and have their tummies tickled, all in the name of increasing the population and infrastructure demands on the town.

Well, by “five to eight” properties, anyway.

But wait! What’s this?

Apart from being a rather handsome picture of Mayor Needham snapped by some hit and miss hyperlocal type, WTC it seems it not for turning. Or for having it’s belly tickled.

Shame - in a purely comic effect fashion, you understand.

Mayor Needham tells the Chronicle:

“A recent offer has been made by Jenny Moody Properties, which Wivenhoe Town Council is strongly opposed to on the basis that we believe we are working on behalf of the people of Wivenhoe. That has drawn a response from JMP who suggest that the general public in Wivenhoe may not be totally aware of the recent off that they have made.”

That offer couldn’t be more of back scratch-fest if you sat it upright in an old Victorian bathtub, got out a rather long louvre and started to lather up any Wivenhoe local that happened to fancy a long soak.

Where’s the soap, Mss Moody?

Two acres of farmland is being “gifted” [get you!] by JMP, in return for building between “five and eight” new properties to then sell on at a profit, right next door to a primary school.

Fine work, WTC in calling the meeting to gauge the public mood. Here’s hoping that the locals of Wivenhoe are indeed, revolting.

But also appreciative of an independent community cinema, it seems:

Cinema Enthusiasts Announce More Films for Local Showing

Snappy.

“Moving Image, a group which ultimately hopes to run its own permanent cinema in Wivenhoe, has just announced an impressive line-up of movies during the next few months.”

Impressive it is too - and so is the quote in The Chronicle:

“Moving Image membership in 2012 is better value than the Olympics, easier to get to and you are always guaranteed a seat.”

Nice.

Plus don’t forget that unlike the Olympics, a genuine legacy is being left in Wivenhoe in the shape of the, um, the Philip Road Centre.

Diamond Jubilee Plans gets the now customary fortnightly update in The Chronicle. Can’t wait for the next nine months, me.

Not quite a case of burying bad news, but it’s still upsetting to read on p.4:

Cars Destroyed in Arson Attack

“Essex police are investigating a series of arson attacks in Wivenhoe… two cars were destroyed and a shed and various items were burnt between 2am and 2:30am.

The fire in the garden, which was in Rosabelle Avenue, is believed to have started when an old sofa, waiting for collection to be taken to a refuse centre, was set alight.

A few days later two cars were both destroyed in an arson attack in Britannia Crescent.”

Scoop Scarpenter makes the worthy observation:

“The incidents come at a time when local police station facilities are being withdrawn.”

Man Charged with Mugging Boys

…then makes the Chronicle read like something out of Daily Mail hell:

“A 19 year-old man has been arrested and charged following the mugging at knife point of four teenage boys at the King George V Playing Fields. During the incident, a mobile phone and a bike were stolen.”

Easy to say don’t have nightmares, but these two particularly nasty crimes still make Wivenhoe a relatively safe place in which to live and work.

And now for something rather nice:

Birthday Celebrations for Former Retailer:

“A former well known and popular Wivenhoe retailer, founder and owner of Talisman Crafts in the High Street, Nora Cook, will shortly be celebrating her 93rd birthday.”

Happy birthday, M’am. Chin chin.

And what better way to celebrate than:

Transition Town Group to Hold Barn Dance:

“A barn dance with live music [always the best way] from the Hosepipe Band will be held at the William Loveless Hall [where else] on 17th September. The event is being organised by Transition Town Wivenhoe, an organisation that during the past two years has successfully set up projects to promote local resilience.”

Splendid.

Speaking of local resilience, I hear that a couple of tired and emotional types may just be turning up at the Loveless Hall after a Saturday spent on the lash at Lord’s.

Um, Oh Lordy.

Docey Doh, if you don’t mind.

Open Day at the Colne Barrier… is well worth exploring:

“The Environment Agency has announced an Open Day at the Colne Barrier on 17th September. The barrier structure will be open for the public to walk onto and enjoy an outstanding view of the river Colne.”

But not such an outstanding view of the sea wall, sadly. If you’re feeling brave on yer big barrier day out, why not ask the EA types about the EA sanctioned vandalism?

Or perhaps just enjoy the beautiful estuary views.

And whilst you’re down there, why not, y’know, get in the water itself and make something of a song and a splash?

Sailing Club’s Open Day:

“The Wivenhoe Sailing Club will be holding an Open Day on 17th September. Attractions at the club will include free boat rips, a licensed bar and refreshment.”

And here’s hoping no silly Rod Stewart songs, either.

Local artist Sara Barker gets a plug on p.7 for her On Dry Land Exhibition at the Wivenhoe Gallery, running from 24th September - 8th October. Mr Mule’s much anticipated Golden Afternoon at the Colchester Arts Centre on 18th September also gets the column inches treatment.

“The Golden Afternoon finishes at 5pm. Says Newell…so that people can get home and do their ironing and stuff like that.”

Phew - rock ‘n roll.

But what about the tennis?

“Wivenhoe Tennis Club is offering a special low rate for winter membership this year of just £25. This covers membership from September 2011 to March 2012.”

ACE.

Boom boom.

Equally as amusing in the “mellow fruitiness” on offer at the Wivenhoe Funny Farm comedy club:

“It’s the new season of humourists say the organisers of Wivenhoe’s very own comedy club, which will be holding its next club night on 29th September.

Topping the bill is John Mann. Also appearing are Anthony Miller, Dave Hughes and Wivenhoe’s very own Chris Singleton. The show will start at 8pm at the Cricket Club, Rectory Road.”

And finally - what of some folk?

The Hokum Hotshots

Hurrah!

“On 6th October the Hokum Hotshots will be the guest artistes at the Wivenhoe Folk Club. A talented duo from the north east of England [which sounds like a folk song in itself...] they will be playing for the first time as the main guests of the club.

The club meets at The Flag Inn. Doors open at 7:30pm, £6 admission.”

And so financial property deals, fire and folk.

We wait with a feverish anticipation and a tingle down the spine to see what stories of truth and justice the Chronicle comes up with next time, Comrades.

Plus: this could possibly be apt timing to plug Wivenhoe local Frances Leate and her hyperlocal news package for Radio Wivenhoe.

Republished from July, as the Church Ale weekend is almost upon us! The procession starts at 10am from the KGV on Saturday morning. Events continue throughout the weekend.

The sixth Wiv Chat recording is something slightly different. Having had a historical approach to the previous recordings, my conversation with Marika Footring looks ahead to the first staging of a new event in the Wivenhoe calendar - the St Mary’s Church Ale.

Chin chin.

There is still a fascinating historical story here. We talk about the origins of the Church Ale and how they emerged during Mediaeval times as a means to help bond the community together. There really couldn’t be a more suited location to resurrect the Church Ale than Wivenhoe.

As Marika explains during our recording, Ales took the form of many different guises during Medieval times:

“The Church Ale, held to encourage parishioners to come and pay their tithes and so to help pay for the upkeep of the church building; the Bride Ale, benefited a newly married couple; the Clerk Ale, to support the impoverished curate.”

But it’s not all about the booze. First off here are the basics:

The St Mary’s Church Ale will take place over the weekend of 17th and 18th September. Essentially it is a celebration of the community involving a grand procession, traditional crafts and… ale. The event is free to attend, with any money raised being used to help maintain the upkeep of St Mary’s.

We talk about the events planned for the Church Ale during our chat. Mr Mayor will lead a Medieval procession from the KGV down to St Mary’s. A costume competition is in place for the kids, and traditional crafts such as rope making will be available to experience.

Oh - and there will be beer, very kindly brewed from the local Sticklegs Brewery at Elmstead Market.

I found the conversation fascinating - Marika has clearly put a tremendous amount of planning and time into the resurrecting the Church Ale. Hopefully the recording can also act as a rallying call - as ever, volunteers are always needed.

A Church Ale open planning meeting has been called for the evening of 24th July, taking place at 7pm in the Black Buoy. Anyone with an interest in the event is urged to attend.

Radio Wivenhoe meanwhile has just completed the end of a highly successful first week of broadcasting. The range of shows has been as diverse as one would expect from Wivenhoe. We’re far from a slick operation - we recognise that. The idea is very much to start with realistic ambitions and see where the project takes us.

Next up on my Wiv Chat schedule is an interview planned with Jon Wiseman, the Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club historian extraordinaire. With Jon’s The Story of Wivenhoe Cricket book about to be published during Cricket Week at Rectory Road, this will be a timely recording.

I’m working my way through my hit list of local folk to chat with. Please do volunteer yourself - or others - if you would like to take part in this project.

To the canoes! …came the call at high water on Sunday morning. To Sunny Colch as well.

Cripes.

But first, what about carrying those ultra light kayaks down to the Quay without causing another nuclear domestic around the peripheries of Park Road? I think that the girl and I just about got away with, encased in black rubber from snout down to rubber socks. Fancy a toe suck, my dear?

The plan was to cadge a lift on the Colne, just as high water was starting to hit the muddy launch of the Sailing Club hard. A conversation here, a flirt there, and whaddya know - three hours later and we finally launched in an inch of water.

Well, not quite, but it just proves the theory that you can’t plan and time keep when in Wivenhoe.

I almost lost the old girl during the launch (the kayak, not @AnnaJCowen) but finally found arse, elbow and oar, all in ship shape sailing sequence as we made a majestic manoeuvre in full view of the Rose and Crown quaffers.

This is the catwalk of Wivenhoe - a comparison that works on oh so many levels. It is not the best place for an inexperienced canoe kid to put himself on show, poncing around with pretensions of 2012 in the water.

A wetsuit just got a little wetter.

Whoops.

Anyway, past the mouth of the Roman River, which was looking rather hungry and tempting as we considered cutting out Sunny Colch and keeping it hyper-hyperlocal.

But have high water, will travel.

We raised an oar up towards the Rowhedge land lovers - no high society catwalk expectations to live up to here - not so much a fashion show but a freak show. Ah, but from which side of the water?

And then it was all plain sailing.

Sort of.

The expanse and width of the Colne increases substantially as soon as you enter the stretch just past Wivenhoe Wood. The tidal current becomes choppy and you need to choose the right stream in order to make the water flow work for you.

@AnnaJCowen was rather, um, shit at this, taking the tidal current and becoming caught in the slipstream that sucked her right into the orifice that is the Pooh Factory reprocessing plant just ahead of the Hythe. It’s a dirty job, etc, and the mucky pup didn’t exactly come up smelling of roses.

The majestic lighthouse ship was the next landmark on the radar. The sheer size and nautical glory of this impressive lady can only really be appreciated whilst looking up at her old and faded beauty.

Reminds me of an ex- girlfriend I thought, as I pushed ahead and paddled on towards the new Hythe housing.

This then becomes the most interesting part of the exploration. Mother Nature gives way to manufacturing. You get to witness at water level the remains of what was once the industrial heartbeat of the Hythe.

Burnt out old hulls line up along the water, like a scene from a classical navy painting depicting some long lost Naval sea battle that ended up in carnage. The Colchester equivalent is probably just Yoof getting his kicks with a box of matches.

Old warehouse winches (not wenches) look down upon you, having long since lost the need, or means, to keep the Colne operational. The towpath is no longer trading. Instead it hides away all the old junk that the Hythe has to offer.

Destination Sunny Colch in sight, and we carried on with the canoe thing. Our Sunday morning North Essex paddle took on the twist of an Amazonian exploration, with the narrowing water requiring a delicate guiding of the girth of the canoe.

“That’s no river, Madam - it’s but a minor urine stream being released from the weak bladder of Sunny Colch.”

We took care not to disturb the splendour of the swans and their signet (shit scared, to be honest) and soon East Hill was on the horizon.

Um, and now what?

To Wivenhoe!

Hurrah!

We caught the Colne’s high water on the retreat, and drifted back downstream. Luncheon was being served on the decks, cyclists were carefree and car free along the Trail and the Ferry was doing the Rowhedge rendez vous thing.

Talk is of a Brightlingsea sailing before the season is out. Black rubber suits and a sausage in batter along the beach.

Brilliant.

To the Church! Um… To the Loveless Hall! Nope, make that… To Rectory Road!

The Wivenhoe Weekender had @AnnaJCowen and I in something of a flap on Saturday, as we attempted to fit into the waking hours an assortment of events that required, dedication, endurance and something slightly stronger than the mug of Horlicks that knocked us out the night before.

Only joking.

But with the Wiv Soc Fun Day, Art in the Church, the Wivenhoe Allotment and Garden Association Show, Cricket at Rectory Road and the King’s Speech being screened by Moving Image, last man standing was probably last man left with the saucer eyed stare come Saturday night.

The charming folk of Wiv Soc came a calling on Saturday morning. A pluck of a fiddly diddly folk guitar string, some plinky plonky piano and a raging (steady) hangover from the night before awoke us.

Never sleep with the window open in Wivenhoe. You never know what delights might greet you come the morning.

The girl scrubs up well, which is… just as well, seeing as a morning spent at St Mary’s was on the agenda. A most charming chat with Transition Town Wivenhoe all about kayak carrying etiquette, top tuneage from the Folk Club and even the appearance of the prettiest pig that the old churchyard has possibly seen.

You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig, as I reminded @AnnaJCowen as we took up our place in the pew for Art in the Church.

Complimenting the religious artefacts within the sacred walls was some rather wonderful local paintings for one weekend only. We skimped on the £1 programme (lipstick to buy later) and took a gamble with a gander at the gallery.

Curiosity got the better of us; it must be all that post-Christianity guilt. A splendid cricket painting caught our eye, and we pondered at the price, and a possible purchase with the aid of a programme.

My mind was momentarily distracted by a full frontal nude from a 44FF charming local lady. Ah, I recognise her, I thought as I made my way over to the altar. Sadly not in the flesh, you understand, but a portrait painting that left little to the imagination of the art worshippers within.

Nice lipstick, as well.

Other noteworthy exhibits included David Needham (not bad for a European Cup winner with Forest…) Frank Baker’s unique Mediterranean interpretation of the Quay in watercolours and Gillian Baker’s acrylic re-working of the riverside front. The red dots indicating a sale matched the red richness of the acrylic textures.

But the time and tide of the quayside colourings wait for no man - or even no allotment crazed new kid on the block who has his heart set on securing a patch to plough the fields and scatter up towards the top end of the town.

And Now For a GOOD NEWS Wivenhoe Veg Story - phew:

The 47th WAGA show up at the Loveless Hall (where else) was everything that you could want from a good old honest country show. It came a close second to the splendour of Open Gardens for being our best moment so far in our Year in Wivenhoe [which is almost up for renewal...]

I knew that we would be in for a surprise as soon as we saw the scarecrow decorating competition just outside the car park. Broomgrove School had themed the entrants around the Royal Wedding. Sadly there wasn’t a firmed up straw backside of Pippa Middleton to pat, but Prince Charles looked like he was having a good time at the WAGA show.

I overheard @AnnaJCowen comparing sizes of courgettes with some green-fingered fella by the Loveless Hall entrance. I made a mental note to repeat back at base my earlier conversation about the pretty pig.

With the WAGA judging completed from earlier in the morning, all that was remaining now was to stuff your pockets with sweet corn and try and snaffle a king size chocolate cake to soak up all the booze.

But first - what about putting your name down on the Allotment waiting list?

Oh Lordy.

We had a charming, charming chat with a most charming, charming WAGA woman. Names and address on the back of a plate, and now we just need to wait for some old fella to think about tending that great allotment up in the sky.

We’ll need a wheelbarrow ASAP - not for all the beastly business of getting muck underneath your fingernails, but simply to transport the doorstep slices of fudge cake that were in Cafe WAGA. I’ve eaten less filling hog roasts.

A quick catch up of the tweets from earlier in the day [get you] and the girl pointed out that @Wtcccricket had been set a fine run chase by the friendly rivals up the road from Frinton.

To Rectory Road! … came the cricketing battle cry, as we lugged a bag full of beetroot up towards the Cricket Club. “I hope we don’t get a bag search,” said the girl.

Arriving fashionably late just after the tea / booze interval. Wivenhoe were chasing down an impressive 237. This was the Battle of Essex, with 3rd placed Wivenhoe taking on 4th placed Frinton. I’m not sure what the prize was, and nope, I’m not going to make any Essex girl jokes either.

“My dad is a big hitter, but only because he doesn’t like running…” has to be the cricketing quote of the season. Fair play, little fella for your fantastic boundary banter.

It even hit into the long grass @AnnaJCowen’s observation of:

“He’s injured - I’d hit upon him.”

I bet you would, my dear. But probably best to put on some lipstick first.

The skies began to bruise shortly before 6pm with Wivenhoe on 159-6. We made the strategic decision of buggering back to base and continuing with the booze.

The final leg of the Wivenhoe Weekend fell foul to the Fosters. The King was calling at Moving Image, but so were the lovely neighbours with a cunning plan to have a piss up disguised as a games evening.

Piggy in the middle?

It’s as you were for next weekend in Wivenhoe: the Church Ale, the Sailing Club Open Day, the Colne Barrier Open Day and the Transition Town Wivenhoe Barn Dance.

Blimey.

We’re buggering off to Lord’s to get away from all the frantic activity. Hard work this rural lifestyle.

Selected highlights from the recently published Wivenhoe News…

The news with Wivenhoe News is that all of this online prefacing is probably in danger of a word count on par with the fine publication itself.

Oh, y’know - JUST GO AND BUY A COPY - it will be the most worthy £1 that you can spend in Wivenhoe this weekend that doesn’t involve asking for a king size jumbo saveloy at Papa’s Fish Shop.

A showdown (of sorts) took place in the station car park over the summer months. Biros were put down, blogs were on hold. A [rather charming] member of the esteemed Editorial Team met with, um, a hit and miss hyperlocal blogger to discuss crossovers and collaboration.

Or something.

Actually it was a rather random meeting, and the lovely chat was more about how I can best get away with snaffling the entire diary pages from Wivenhoe News and pass them off as semi-original content over on the Wivenhoe Forum.

Whoops.

Anyway - a compromise was reached, hands were shaken and I looked forward to the autumn edition with all the anticipation usually reserved for a king size jumbo saveloy.

And whaddya know - here it is. A mighty fine read as well. Having explained how m’blog is going to preface and not quote word for word within, I’ve probably already spunked away 300 plus words on the intro alone.

Hey hoe.

So anyway - about those selected highlights from the recently published Wivenhoe News…

Jacqui Dankworth at St Mary’s Church is deserving of the front page treatment. It’s not everyday that the rising star of UK jazz calls in at Even Song at yer local village church. Not every small North Essex estuary town can boast the guitar genius of Chris Allard as a local either.

>Who? >What? >Where? >Why> When?

>skip >skip >skip >skip 8th October, 7:30pm, tickets from the Bookshop.

The Workers of Wivenhoe pin up this quarter is Sid the Fish, the charming fella who rolls up outside the Co-op each Friday morning with his selection of freshly caught local fish. As well as kippers, eels and elks, Sid can also satisfy the prawn peccadillo of particularly fussy cat.

Meowww.

May Fair 2011 Raises Over £4,500 for Charity… tells you all you need to know about the KGV coming together this year. Oh - and for all ye doubters out there, it is convenient timing to convey that Essex police announced this week that NO charges came out of May Fair 2011.

Splendid.

The ambitious Church Ale weekend gets a deserved plug (17th - 18th September), sitting opposite the Editorial, which helpfully de-myths the Wivenhoe News relationship with the Friends of St Mary’s (I think we’re all friends around here.) There’s also an appeal for reader’s to support Wivenhoe Town Council’s attempt to register the land opposite Millfields School as village green status (meeting at the Loveless Hall, 24th September, 2pm.)

Janes Hughes looks at the history of Colchester Road, Ian Valentine rejoices with bell ringing at St Mary’s and Jane Lee elaborates on the new town map located opposite The Greyhound.

If in doubt - head down the Colchester Road and listen for the sound of the bells…

Nottage News updates with… all news relating to The Nottage. The range of courses is impressive - as was the Nottage Summer Exhibition 2011, featuring Pru Green, Alison Stockmarr and Barbara Pierson, which also gets a review.

Moving Image reflect on the first year of staging an independent community cinema for Wivenhoe, the Gilbert & Sullivan Society explore the new production of Ruddigore. There’s also an ad for open auditions (now passed) for Wivenhoe’s Pantomime Group’s production of Robin Hood.

Looks like I’ve missed out on wearing the tights for another year.

Cricket Week and the launch of Jon Wiseman’s excellent The Story of Wivenhoe Cricket is covered, as is a favourable review of Around the World 2 - the recent show from Angie Diggens Productions.

The Wivenhoe Poetry Prize 2011 proudly prints the winning entry - Digitalis by Martin Malone. A written copy of the verse can currently be seen along the platform at Wivenhoe Station. You can also hear the poem (and others) being read out over here. No poetic licence required - just balls the size of melons for pointing a mic in the face of some performing poets.

Wivenhoe Bookshop cover, well, Wivenhoe Bookshop cover about bloody everything as per usual. Fine, fine work. Creative writing courses, readings, Philosophy breakfasts, book launches, reading groups - it’s a wonder they actually have time to sell any books.

Wivenhoe in Bloom put the green-fingered feelers out for possible bulb sponsorship. Open Gardens is reflected upon and WAGA look forward to the September show:

>Wivenhoe Allotment and Garden Association >annual show >Loveless Hall >why not >10th September.

Richard Allen looks ahead to the new birding season (first walk 10th September,) Sue Glasspool explains more about the Townscape Forum and Jo Wheatley from TTW addresses the big picture of peak oil and, um, the TTW barn dance.

Birds, historic buildings and a Barn Dance - blimey.

That’s not something that you are likely to read about in the next edition of OK magazine.

The Wivenhoe Diary 2011 is as vast as it is… plagiarised over on the Wivenhoe Forum. I hear that with so many new and emerging events around the town, a pull out A3 guide is currently under consideration for the next issue.

Diamond Jubilee preparations are well underway, writes the good Town Clerk, as are preparations for possibly the BEST night in the Wivenhoe calendar - Fireworks on the Quay, very kindly staged by WORC.

>WORC >fireworks and a fancy dress competition >the Quay >traditional >29th October, 6:45pm.

Margot Robertson, Don Smith and Andrew Nicholson are all lovingly remembered in wonderfully written obituaries.

The View from the High Street with Tom Roberts praises the “no brainer” decision of WTC to purchase the empty police houses along the High Street. Jokers to the left of me, clowns to the right - well the Loveless Hall and WTC offices - it seems the right move to make.

Cllr Robert Needham, the current Town Mayor, also reflects on this purchase, as well as managing the speed of change to the town that the University’s Knowledge Gateway is likely to bring to Wivenhoe.

“Potholes, pavements and planning concerns” are currently occupying the mind (and considerable time) of the good Cllr Steve Ford of Colchester Borough Council. The red flag waving Comrade of Cllr Julie Young of Essex County Council lambastes the failure to launch the 20mph limit in lower Wivenhoe.

Cllr Mark Cory of the Cross ward celebrates the success of The Hub, something which he hopes he can take with him in helping to put in place BRA (blimey) - the re-launched Broadfields Resident’s Association. 24th September is a date I’m hearing for the re-launch. The aim is to offer facilities for the yoof at the top half of the town.

Bernard Jenkin MP bangs on about the “surgery saga.” I suspect he will be doing the same in ten years time, should he still be holding public office.

The Sailing Club, Judo Club, Tennis Club, Bowls Club and Badminton Club all plug away with their sporting achievements. Over the page and the Chair of Wiv Soc admits to being “personally torn apart” over the planning issue for the old St John’s Ambulance Building.

Letters to the Editor praise the gravel garden opposite Wivenhoe Eyecare, bemoan Bernard Jenkin in making a party political point in Wivenhoe News and then concludes with something more positive in the Grand Garage Trail success.

And so that’s the preface out of the way - ready for the 5,000 word critical analysis written with a contemporary post-modern twist, as viewed from the perspective of a p-head down The Station?

Ah - I think I’ve just published it.

Wivenhoe News is sold at the Co-op, Crossways, the Post Office, Bryans Newsagents and the lovely Wivenhoe Bookshop.