onionbagblog

To the Quay late on Saturday afternoon for the Wivenhoe Regatta. We weren’t alone - half the town, and half of North Essex seemed to have been shipped in for all the aquatic fun and frolics.

With our friends from National Express East Anglia playing silly buggers once again, all routes into Wivenhoe were strictly via water only. Which is all rather appropriate for a Quayside event.

The chaps from the Romford Navy even made a special guest appearance in their blinged up pieces of plastic that somehow pass as boats. Next time remember to read your Wivenhoe bylaws, fellas - nicking a mooring and almost forcing the legitimate owners to be left stranded at sea isn’t exactly smooth sailing.

Hey hoe.

This was the only damp squid in what was otherwise an ACE afternoon down at the front. The participants in the raft race may tell a different story - getting wet was definitely part of the event. I only wish the boys from the Romford Navy had experienced the same sinking feeling before barging into the town.

For the record, I have been asked to point out that the good ship Papa’s Chip Shop won the raft race. The first homemade craft to pass the finish line had no formal association with Mr Papa and his fine fillets of fish; he was simply the adopted name in which to nail your colours to the mast. Or even oil barrels.

The boys from the Black Buoy experienced a Cambridge Boat Race sinking feeling, even before they had lifted anchor on the old Sailing Club hard. I suspect perhaps this was all part of the plan. I felt it picky to point out that sellotape isn’t actually waterproof.

We strolled up towards the Rose and Crown to try and gain a better vantage point. Local stalls, local conversation and local booze slowed us down. Brian next door looked resplendent on his balcony, conducting the brass band as they broke out into Rule Britannia.

What was wonderful about the Wivenhoe Regatta was the impromptu parties that were breaking out along West Quay. BBQ’s and booze seemed to appear outside every house. The Regatta is merely a convenient excuse in which to come together.

Our canoes didn’t make an appearance - too busy on photographic duties. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking with it, Comrades. Give us a year to find our sea legs, and we’ll be back next year, still not knowing our port from our starboard, possibly ramming the Romford Navy.

Blogger overboard.

Full flickr feed over here.

To The Station on Friday evening, and with sunshine in abundance, as well as an ambulance for cover (clever, Jase) it can only mean one thing: the pre-Regatta Wivenhoe Pram Race.

Oh Lordy.

The premise is that teams of mother and child are pushed around the boozers down towards the bottom of the town, sampling the fine ale and taking in the lovely Quayside view on a late summer’s evening whilst quaffing.

The reality of course is a rather messy affair. Half pints were necked, trolleys almost became de-wheeled along West Quay and a quite stunning pair of fishnets tights (nice, Madam. VERY nice) felt the full force of the pram Race rough and tumble.

A decent crowd greeted the start of the race outside The Station. The event was THE hot ticket in town - even hotter than a return ticket for the No. 61 bus, which had a few problems negotiating the station roundabout, such was the size of the Pram Race spectators.

Three teams contested the 2011 event. Not one to get all hyperlocal on your mother and baby bad ass, but two teams were Wivenhoe locals, and one was a bussed in ringer late entry.

Straight off the train, straight into the Station and then a compulsory Pram Race conscription for the two good humoured out of town chaps. Bets were being placed as to when our two visitors would first get lost on route.

Shortly after 7:15, and the grand countdown kicked in the start of the race. Or rather it kicked in the first half pint of the Station’s finest. Prams were boarded and West Street was next up en route.

Another swift half along West Quay, and then the crowds had gathered outside the Rose and Crown, midway point in the race. I could now see the logic in dressing up and running the risk of pre-Regatta injury - at least mother and child managed to get served speedily in the Rose and Crown.

No time for a top up, but another mad trolley dash up Black Buoy Hill, and then the glory of the sprint finish and another swift half. Phew. You needed a hyperlocal sense of cartography just to keep up with all the action.

And whaddya know - the two out of towners only went and stole the glory. I blame the Wivenhoe booze mentality for slowing the locals down.

This was a bonkers, but equally enjoyable start to the Regatta weekend. Well done to the three teams for stepping forward, especially so the ringers who made a number of new friends over the course of the evening.

There was a semi-serious side, in that a wandering crowd of local folk came out and did something of a mini-Wivenhoe run. Supporting local boozers has to be a good thing, especially so given the news I heard at the Black Buoy a lot later in the evening.

But a man can’t go wrong with fishnets and booze. It rather suited the ladies as well.

Something slightly different for Wiv Chat #7. There has never really been a plan for this random Radio Wivenhoe series, other than simply have a chat with Wivenhoe folk.

Most of the charming guests to date have reflected on the past; this particular recording looks towards the future.

I was very kindly invited along (again!) to the absolutely ACE Wivenhoe Youth Hub on Tuesday evening. Each time I turn up, I can visibly witness a growing social group. The energy almost flattens you as soon as you walk in through the doors of the Philip Road Centre.

The occasion on Tuesday evening was for a taster session for the current crop of Year 5 pupils. Tuesday nights are all about Year 6′s and 7′s. Those cunning (and charming) volunteers at The Hub planned to catch the next crop young, ahead of possible returns come September time.

I planned another basic blog post - a few photos, a snatch of audio, possibly some video. But with so many positive things in place at the Hub, and with the potential to capture all of this this through audio, I decided to try and record a snap shot of the evening for Wiv Chat.

No planning took place - you don’t say.

I was simply allowed to roam around the Philip Road Centre (FOUR times CRB checked with FOUR different organisations before you ask…) and see where the conversations took me.

I can safely say that this is the first Wiv Chat in which I get to record a piece whilst playing basketball. I certainly hope that it isn’t the last in which I get to talk whilst being put through an impromptu ballet class.

The audio quality in the boos below is slightly hit and miss. I’m sure that the nice Head Honcho of Radio Wivenhoe will see to these, come proper Sunday evening broadcast time.

But for now, here is but a micro take on some of the truly great work that is being carried out at Wivenhoe Youth Hub. Sixty-eight young folk turned up on Tuesday night. Numbers are also growing for the Year 8′s and above on a Thursday.

But I’ll leave the last word to Crystal, a somewhat reluctant (but charming) interviewee. She was at the old Youth Club when it demised. She mentions how the only option then was that was that of “hanging around the Co-op,” hence she was inspired to volunteer and help out the next generation of Wivenhoe youngsters.

Hopefully the recordings below capture some of this raw spirit.

The Wivenhoe Youth Hub is now taking a six-week summer break. The sessions will return come the first week of September. Simply turn up on a Tuesday evening for Year 6 and 7 pupils, Thursday for Year 8 and above.

Adult volunteers are of course always welcome. I guarantee you’ll come out beaming. You may even get to try some ballet.

Blimey.

Serving Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe and Nearby Villages, another fortnight passes and whaddya know - it’s only a personal delivery of the esteemed Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

Hurrah!

I often worry about those mystical Nearby Villages. I often worry about Brightlingsea, but for completely different reasons. It’s a fine job that the Chronicle does in covering a news patch (get you) that stretches out from the University all the way across to the coast.

Caught up in-between of course are those Nearby Village. Some may say the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea. That’s the high price to pay for living in Alresford, Comrades.

But anyway - applying a BIG BLACK MARKER to all the Brightlingsea and Nearby Villages news pieces [as ever - start yer own hyperlocal blog] and what are we left with within the Wivenhoe news beat?

Um…?

Not a great deal for this fortnight, folks. Wivenhoe has been closed this weekend. That’s what Latitude does for a small estuary fishing town. But flicking through the newsprint pages, and those hyperlocal Wivenhoe news stories are there to be treasured, much in the same way as finding a reduced price loaf of harvest grain up at the Co-op.

I’ve been a hungry man of late - both for local gossip and harvest grain.

Sailing into town this weekend (see what I have done there?) is of course the Wivenhoe Regatta. Scoop Scarpenter recognises this with the snappy p.3 headline of:

The Wivenhoe Regatta

Tell It Like It Is, my good man.

“The Wivenhoe Regatta will start this year on the evening of Friday 22nd July with a pram race in the lower part of the town, and with main maritime and quayside activities on Saturday 23rd July.

Pram racing will start at 7:15pm outside The Station pub and will finish at the Black Buoy, with “mother and baby” having to drink half a pint of beer at all the pubs in lower Wivenhoe.”

Cripes.

I hope we’re not including The Legion, the Colne Social Club, the Sailing Club… etc.

“High tide is at 6pm and the maritime activities commence at 4pm. These will include a raft race, several rowing races and barge and smack races.”

And *possibly* some bonkers bloke still trying to work out how best to paddle his bloody kayak.

Blimey.

If you’re relying upon more traditional transport on Regatta day, then take the p.4 advice of Scoop, when he informs us:

The 74 Isn’t the Same Anymore

Tell It Like… blah blah blah…

“Recently the 74 bus route between Colchester and Clacton underwent a time saving alteration. It now runs along Rectory Road, Wivenhoe and misses out The Avenue and Belle Vue Road.”

It also leaves plenty of passengers, both elderly and young, somewhat stranded. Donctha just love this time saving progress?

But wait! What’s this?

Just as you start to organise a hike across half of the town in order to meet your loved one (s) off the No. 74 from Clacton (Kiss Me Quick, Comrades) and Scoop rather helpfully adds:

“However, it’s not quite as simple as that. On Sundays and during the evening after 7pm it will continue to run on the old route along The Avenue and Belle Vue Road.

Talk about a Magical Mystery Tour. I wonder what our friends from Nearby Villages make of it all?

The BEST headline in The Chronicle this fortnight of course goes to:

Wivenhoe Beavers Bury a Time Capsule

*straight face, Jase. straight face*

“As part of the activities nationally to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Beavers Scouts, an organisation for boys and girls 6 to 8 years of age [ah - I see...] the 1st Wivenhoe Beavers marked the event recently by burying a time capsule locally.”

And jolly smart and smiling the little chaps and chappesses look in the photo call as well.

“Contained in the capsule were various items including letters from the children about facilities and items they have now, but were not available for youngsters of their age 25 years ago.”

Like the 74 bus?

Whoops.

But for all the bad jokes, it’s better to leave it to the (semi) professional big boys and girls:

Comedy Time at Wivenhoe

I think you know what’s coming, chuckle friends…

“The next meeting of Wivenhoe’s very own comedy club, the Wivenhoe Funny Farm, will be held on Thursday 21st July [um, day of publishing for this blog post...]

The line-up will include previews from this year’s Edinburgh Festival with performances by Kevin Shepherd and Catie Wilkins. As usual the club night will be held in Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club’s pavilion, Rectory Road. Doors open at 7pm for an 8pm start.”

Splendid.

On a similar theme:

An Afternoon of Live Music, muses upon:

“An afternoon of live music and fun for all the family will be provided at Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club on Sunday 24th July. The event will run from 1pm to 6pm and music will be provided by the bands Bouncing Off Concrete and Praying Mantis.

“Tickets are strictly limited, no sales on the gate. They can be purchased at the Horse and Groom pub or at the cricket club on match days.”

Anything else to add? Alresford? Elmstead Market? Little Bentley?

So near, yet so far.

Different world, Comrades. Different World.

One of the themes that keeps on cropping up during the early run of Radio Wivenhoe Wiv Chat recordings is that of the Miners Strike and the role that Wivenhoe had to play.

This was a period that helped to politicise me personally, although I was caught up in the “scabland” of the North Notts coalfields, and not the North Essex estuary wilds.

Wivenhoe also appears to have been caught up in what was an incredibly ugly, emotive and ultimately social landscape changer in the UK.

I have read the relevant chapters in Butler’s book, as well as A Prospect of Wivenhoe; I have spoken with many local folk who helped to support the miners in Wivenhoe during the brief period when Wivenhoe became the centre for the struggle.

I have even wandered down to West Quay and failed to imagine how such a peaceful residential area was once the brief epicentre for social and industrial action.

And now I have been able to see the rare TV footage of Wivenhoe becoming embroiled in the Miners Strike.

With many thanks, as ever, to Mr Mule, here we have the Inside Out broadcast that was put together to remember this epochal moment in social history that was played out right here within Wivenhoe.

I’m not sure when it was first broadcast, but I’d hazard a guess of relatively recently, given the scenery, fashion sense and youthful looks of Mr Mule.

It’s not such the hyperlocal social history that interests me - the physical geography of the area is also incredibly fascinating. Standing on the roundabout outside The Station, and it is indeed a different world away when you see TV images of the old Wivenhoe Port.

Many many thanks to Mr Mule for sharing this footage. I am happy for m’blog to become a local online archive for any material Wivenhoe folk feel worthy of sharing.

To the Town Council Offices on a miserable Monday evening. The weather didn’t reflect my mood - who can fail to feel uplifted at the prospect of an hour or so of formal civic discussion?

Mr Mayor, or so it would seem.

An apology of absence (he’s a VERY busy fella, donctha know…) and instead we were under the splendid stewardship of the good Lady Deputy Mayor, Councillor Kraft.

Ruling as the Matriarch of Wivenhoe for the evening, the Lady Deputy Mayor ran a tight ship. It wasn’t quite as tight as her crab line from the day before at down at the Quay, but the bait of WTC mints proved too much for me to resist once again.

First off was the formal business of welcoming the two new Wivenhoe Town Councillors - Cllr Asa Aldis and Cllr Nick Tile. The new blood / bait have very kindly stepped forward and been vigorously interviewed as co-opted Cllrs.

We wish them well.

Correspondence from the public kicked off the conversation. High praise for Wivenhoe in Bloom came from Brian Thomas, noting the co-operation between the local green fingered gardening group and WTC in providing such a wonderful display outside by the Co-op / Jardine / Eyecare Wivenhoe - Bermuda Triangle.

Reports from the local political representatives followed. Cllr Julie Young, Labour’s representative for Colchester on Essex County Council (not THE representative, but not too far off either, Comrades) has had a busy month:

“We held a Scrutiny meeting last week. It was revealed that ECC has an UNDER spend of £480,000 for the previous financial year.”

Woh.

Run that through me once again, Comrade…

An UNDER spend of close to half a cool million. The good Cllr Young is pitching in to try and take £10k of this to spend on new toilets up at Broad Lane. I know a man who will feel quite flushed with that idea.

Cllr Young continued:

“The 20mph zone for lower Wivenhoe is set to come into operation on 25th July.”

Hurrah!

All those flash Tom, Dick and Harry’s racing through the town in their poncey sports cars will hopefully soon be thwarted. Speaking of which:

“We held a Full Council meeting last Tuesday where a motion was passed not to pay the allowance to the disgraced and jailed Lord Hangingfield, the former Leader of Essex County Council.”

This matter is NOT related to the £480,000 UNDER spend, I understand.

Cllr Young was keen to put on the record that she personally doesn’t take any freebie foreign trips that may come her way as part of the political cut and thrust. That’s what the 74 bus is for, Comrades.

With the Red Flag still flying over the Town Council Offices, the charming Cllr Steve Ford, Labour’s man down in the Quay ward at Colchester Borough Council, was next to update the meeting:

“Colchester Borough Council has now divided up the street service zones. What this means is that St Anne’s, Greenstead and Wivenhoe now has a dedicated team of three street wardens to look after waste issues, etc.”

Which is just as well, seeing as though confusion still surrounds the cutting back of refuse collection from a five day a week to a four days service throughout the Borough:

“A few teething problems have been reported to me in Wivenhoe. Some residents have complained that the rubbish hasn’t been collected by 3pm on Wednesdays, the new day for most of lower Wivenhoe. It may be that 5pm is now the latest that the bins will be collected in the Borough.”

Um, rubbish!

At least it means an end to that early morning 7am hike out in the jim jams to separate the leftovers from the curry incident from the night before.

On planning matters, Cllr Ford added:

“An application has now been submitted to knock down the old St John’s Ambulance building on Chapel Road, and then to build a new one bedroom / one studio facility. Questions need to be asked if this will actually enhance the existing structures on the street.”

Indeed they will. And indeed they were, later on in the meeting. This also leads to the presumption (NEVER presume, Jase) that the land has been secured by the private bidder, rather than the local group that was trying to purchase the property for community use.

Finally Cllr Ford got in flap over foliage. And quite rightly so:

“I am concerned that a lot of branches and bushes from gardens are being let to overgrow onto the street. These can be a hazard to elderly folk walking around the town. I would ask for all residents to take a responsible approach.”

Hear, hear *cough* lower end of Park Road…

With the business of the Borough and County Cllr’s covered (no Love Me I’m a Liberal lot this month; some scribbled notes came our way from the True Blue Cllr Quarrie) and then it was on to WTC Planning matters.

A date of 4th August has been set to bash the heads together between all thirteen WTC Cllr’s and our four CBC representatives in the two town wards. Nothing to do with political posturing, but simply an issue of co-operation when it comes to divvying up the dirty dosh that is Section 106 wonga.

This is basically a legal back hander when corporate organisations such as the University, or Taylor Wimpey, want to roll out its latest development. You scratch my back, we’ll close Clingoe Hill for a month, build private residential property and cover it up all in the name of International Conflict Resolution.

Cripes.

Previously the brown envelopes have been very a much a north and south issue, allocated on a boundary basis to either the Cross or Quay wards. The joined up thinking now is for co-operation to see where in Wivenhoe the money can best be best allocated.

Which all sounds like the best outcome for what can be a very underhand business.

Which brings us nicely to Cook’s Shipyard. The good Cllr Sinclair has been going through the (as yet unsigned) lease with all the dedication of a man that is as financially frugal as he is friendly.

“It appears that the supply of electricity and water down in the dry dock is something that WTC is expected to not only provide, but also to pay for. We need to consider this…”

But for all the talk of developments rolling out faster than the delayed 9:23 to Liverpool Street, it was a return to one particular piece of planning that still appears to be slightly off the rails:

The proposed new Health Centre.

Cripes.

Mr Mayor has held a “constructive” phone conversation with Bernard Jenkin, the MP for Harwich and North Essex. Yer man Bernie wanted some finer local Wivenhoe details ahead of a meeting about the delayed facility.

Here’s hoping Wivenhoe is still in good health.

But failing that, then there’s always the final resting place of the cemetery along Rectory Road. It’s not quite the Plan B for the Health Centre confusion, but rest easy, coffin dodgers - a Plan C is in place.

Put bluntly, WTC is running rather short on burial space. That’s what happens when a town is allowed to expand from a population of 2,000 to 10,000 over a twenty-five year period [said the Wivenhoe newcomer. Arf.]

The solution from WTC is to stack ‘em up high. The meeting was shown some pictures of what can best be described as a high rise for stiffs. Costing £4,725, the lofty structure allows sixteen individual ashes to be contained within.

It gives a new meaning to the phrase Ashes to Ashes.

In the blink of a heartbeat (steady) and WTC unanimously agreed to purchase the tower block for the dearly departed. To his credit, Cllr Read noted concern that the high rise should be made more personal.

Back in the land of the living and the William Loveless Hall Working Party reported back on grand plans to add a permanent backdrop to the stage. A local artist has been approached [sorry - didn't catch your name] and has returned with a truly splendid design to be put in place.

The artwork catches the view from Anchor Hill looking up. The Tudor Tea Rooms and On the Corner Cafe even get a nice little bit of free advertising. The painting really is rather good [said he with a CSE Grade 3 in Art.]

WTC formally passed the motion commission the full-scale painting. A backdrop will also be provided, for use when local groups need a more neutral background for various productions.

The Estates Working Party confirmed the date of 27th August for a 2pm unveiling for a much welcome plaque for Joan Hickson. This will be formally unveiled on Rose Lane, the site of the former actress’ home address.

Wivenhoe Woods Working Party reported back on a recent successful clearing of Ferry Marsh, with six new volunteers very kindly giving up their evening. It was noted that the mid-week scheduling of this event seems to be staged at a more convenient time.

Mr Mayor provided a written statement of his formal duties over the past month. These included a rare victory for the Mayor’s cricket team over Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club. It was claimed this was a first in living memory.

Still waiting in the wings - possibly with the intention of simply correcting the record - and Cllr Ford corrected the minutes by stating that the WTC team also triumphed during his period of Mayoral civic service.

Mayor Needham also reported that he had:

“Recorded a broadcast of Wiv Chat for Radio Wivenhoe.”

Well I never.

On to more serious matters with Community Safety and Police. Three matters were reported back to WTC:

(i) Lorries accessing Cook’s shipyard continue to break the restrictions governing their route down to the Quay. Part of the stipulation is that there is a 9am curfew. Any local resident who witness a breach of this is encouraged to take down the registration and report it.

(ii) The recent crime figures for Wivenhoe would appear to show that crime is actually on the increase. Don’t have nightmares - it seems that more crimes are being reported, hence the spike in crime stats.

(iii) Wivenhoe Neighbourhood Watch has been formally approached by Colchester Neighbourhood Watch to merge. This approach was politely turned down. Long live localism.

Meanwhile, in North Essex Estuary Boating News [didn't get the full name of the specific committee] and this is rather interesting: Brightlingsea Harbour has ambitions to run a new ferry service, running along the estuary route of Brightlingsea, Wivenhoe, Rowehedge and the Hythe.

This is not seen as a threat to the existing (and most excellent) Wivenhoe, Fingringhoe and Rowhedge Ferry - the Brightlingsea Harbour boys want to work together with the current crew. European funding is currently being sourced.

The fine Town Clerk then reported of repairs having been carried out to the damaged basketball court. A vandalised bench has also been repaired.

Finance noted the formal name change of the Mayor’s Charity Fund to the Mayor’s Appeal Fund. No charitable status, yet no less worthy.

And then finally Highways heard how the Paget Road railway crossing is going to be closed as from 26th July for an unspecified period whilst maintenance is carried out. Which should at least save half a dozen wandering cats.

The meeting then cleared the public gallery (um, the good Cllr Ford, his son and myself) to discuss some business in private. No worries. With a chaperone of smiling Steve to see me safely back to base, we talked about them, as they no doubt talked about us.

Only joking.

Se ya next month, Comrades.

That time of the year again - the crabs of Wivenhoe scratch their varying sized skulls, fall sucker to the lure of some cheap bait and then get suckered out of the muddy banks of the Colne and straight into a bucket to be weighed.

Yep - it’s only the annual Wiv Soc Crabbing Competition.

Oh Lordy.

You have to feel for the hapless crustaceans. You have 364 days of the year of relative estuary peace and quiet, and then come mid-July and the masses arrive along with their crab lines and nets. At least the annual weighing provides an alternative form of Weight Watchers.

Um - how long do crabs live for, exactly?

But for all the sorrow for our sideways challenged friends, you have to feel slightly more sorry for the little folk that braved the Biblical Wivenhoe weather on Sunday afternoon.

Awww.

I stayed indoors during Downpour No.1 and No.2. By the time Downpour No.3 came washing along the Wivenhoe flots and jetsum, I though whoops - I really should be Quayside trying to at least capture a few photographs.

I missed out on the main action. Instead I found a solitary crab being weighed (I’d cut down on the pork pies mate - get some exercise) before being unceremoniously tossed back into the banks of the Colne by the good Councillor Kraft.

I gather that the 2011 Crabbing Competition was something of an endurance effort for all the little folk involved.

Well Done You.

A winner emerged, along with a prize fund of £25 - no doubt to be spent on a warm blanket and hot chocolate for the great thawing out of the triumphant little crabber.

Meanwhile, up the High Street and an optimistic man of the cloth also had crabs on his mind.

Cripes.

Fine work, Wiv Soc, in persevering with the 2011 Crabbing Competition, under what were some genuinely testing circumstances. Fine work, little folk in also taking up the challenge.

Crabs in yer pants, etc.