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To The Greyhound on Saturday for An Afternoon Upstairs with Martin Newell. This was billed as very much an experiment in using the magnificent space above the boozer during a rare Wivenhoe period of alcoholic abstinence.

I walked in shortly before 3pm to find a room full of middle-aged maidens, floored and legless on Mother’s Ruin, all waiting for someone to introduce Valium on tap.

Not quite, but the ambience of occasional afternoon boozers mixing with the tea sippers in the sedate space Upstairs at The Greyhound made for a heady concoction. All that was needed was a wordsmith, a tuneful fella - a linguist of love.

Ahhh…

Lookey, lookey here.

No one can accuse Mr Mule of not taking any creative chances. Putting on a part-poetry performance, part-serenading session - all served up with a rock ‘n roll rider of tea and homemade cakes - isn’t exactly the career route that has kept the Rolling Stones so stale for five decades.

For such a sleepy estuary town, time doesn’t stand still for Mr Mule. Why linger on the past when there are poems to be penned observing the changing social demographic of Wivenhoe? Well Done You! was spot on with the observations on social mobility.

We got off to a good start with Dead in the Barmaid’s Bed. For legal reasons I am duty bound to point out that there are five other licenced public houses within Wivenhoe.

With the catchphrase of “something to offend everyone”, Mr Mule didn’t disappoint. I like my entertainment to have an unpredictable edge; if it can include some of the filthiest jokes ever heard in North Essex, then all the better.

Helen of Troy - the Essex interpretation, showed that Mr Mule is as sharp and as relevant as ever with his take on contemporary Essex culture. The poems came to life in the live space - it’s all in the eyes, doncthaknow.

The booze break became a tea and cake break, and is certainly worthy of a blog post in itself. The very good @seelkram has been experimenting of late with a Wivenhoe based cake and bread business. Equipment has been purchased, the blending and baking has been perfected.

Catering for the afternoon event was the first real test of the new local venture. Battenberg’s, Victoria sponges, brownies, doughnuts, choux, madeleines and scones - the spread was sufficient to feed the entire wedding party kicking off down the High Street at St Mary’s.

The good news for Wivenhoe is that Mark (for he is @seelkram) is looking at slowly, slowly starting up a very personalised online baking business within the town. Bread and cakes can be made and delivered to order. The plan is to use an informal network of online and offline communication to build up a contact base.

And then with barely enough time to stroke your tummy and say “Woooohhhhh, that scone and cream came close to an altogether different type of creaming experience,” and there he was - yer man Mr Mule back holding fort, LIVE and direct in downtown Wivenhoe.

More music followed, with the very serious side to Martin coming across during the second half of the show. Home Counties Boy from The Greatest Living Englishman album is Mule’s New England. It is his defining moment and is a badge of honour describing whom he is, and what you are getting. I’ve been listening to it a lot of late.

The surprise resurrection of the Cleaners from Venus name on last year’s English Electric album also got an airing. The Queen and Me was strummed out with the perfect seasonal timing. The lament of Mr Mule waiting for his Knighthood sadly didn’t come in the Honour’s List earlier on Saturday morning.

Sir Bruce Forsyth and Sir Jimmy Saville impressions followed. My chocolate brownie almost made a repeat appearance as those eyes homed in to capture the comedy value.

And then a couple of hours after the first profanities of the afternoon were expressed, we ended on a similar expression, cheered by Mr Mule and his maverick ways.

Did it work? Most certainly. It made for a convenient excuse for not being back at base doing the hoovering. To fill the Upstairs area with some mischievous local entertainment on a Saturday afternoon is no mean feat.

More of the same please, Mr Mule.

You can download and donate towards English Electric over here. No record company cashed in on the making of this masterpiece. No one else is making music like this right now - not in Wivenhoe, and not really anywhere else in England.

Treasure him.