onionbagblog

Anyone seen the return of the Un-Environment Agency around Wivenhoe?

Nope - thought not.

The threatened second mass culling of our unique North Essex natural wildlife habitat failed to materialise. I like to put it down the level of vocal resistance that Wivenhoe locals laid upon the EA after the first wave of destruction.

It was probably more likely however that the bully boys of the EA are just biding their time until returning with the bulldozers. My message to dog walkers, do-gooders and general hippy green sorts such as myself is: now is not a time to drop your guard, Comrades.

I did spot a somewhat muted attempt by the EA to carry out further damage down towards the Hythe early one morning at the start of the month. Handheld hedge style trimmers were in place. It was all rather prim and proper, and a far cry from the February mass destruction of the sea wall.

Meanwhile, correspondence has reached me between various Wivenhoe locals and Richard Houghton, the Flood Risk Management Manager at the EA. It is a detailed (and ultimately flawed) argument offered up by Richard.

Essentially he is saying that a Middle England style rolling green grass lawn is the stated aim in all of this EA vandalism. To protect our habitat then we need to cut it down:

“The sea walls in Essex protect over forty thousand properties and a significant number of hectares of agricultural land from the devastating impacts of tidal flooding.”

Um, so does that brute of a flood barrier that was put up as part of a project that would allow the natural sea walls to continue to grow and add some unique natural local character.

Whoops.

Richards outlines in the letters that I have seen the exact cost of cutting back all that is green and good around these parts. It is enough to (hopefully) make a penny pinching Blue Rinse sort resort to traditional Conservative concerns about the public purse:

“The works are being funded from our routine maintenance budget for the financial year 2011-12. The total maintenance budget for flood risk management in Essex this year is £3.8 million, and for the whole Anglian region, this figure is £12.4 million.”

Woh. That’s some routine figures that we are talking here. The refurbishment of the flood barrier that is scheduled for the summer of 2013 is being undertaken with a budget of £500,000.

And speaking of the science, Richard explains the white lab coat reasons behind the destruction:

“We are advised by the Flood Hazard Research Centre on standards of service for man made flood defences and follow their recommendations. A good cover of grass or short vegetation provides valuable surface protection for earth embankments. It reduces or prevents slope erosion and helps extend the time that an embankment can resist erosion from over-topping and breaching during extreme flood events.”

It also allows the nearby cows to continue the grazing along the sea wall, as has been the case of late. A herd of yer finest Hereford Heifers, stomping and s***ing along the sea wall, ‘aint exactly going to build up the defences.

Turning Wivenhoe into the bowling green of North Essex is something which does indeed bring to mind visions of men in white lab coats flapping around.

Nurse!

Richard adds:

“Vermin and burrowing animals [cows?] are attracted to the habitat offered by scrub growth and low tree vegetation. Their actions can severely weaken man-made earth flood embankments that protect low lying properties such as those in and around Wivenhoe.”

Which begs the not unrelated question as to why the chuffers are we continuing to build properties such as these? At eighty years of age, Peter Green was wise enough to remind me during Wiv Chat that Cook’s Phase 3 is actually being built upon a flooded plain.

As for the “vermin and burrowing animals?” Wivenhoe News did an ACE investigative journo job in the last issue, becoming slightly obsessed, as one does, with badgers.

In a similar EA Q & A exercise, when pressed upon the badger issue (blimey) the response came back:

“No – there were no badgers found for the Wivenhoe work.”

Richard restates in the letters I have recently seen the guilt trip exercise of re-planting trees to make up for the vandalism:

“We have compensatory tree planting sites in Essex. Please see the documents on the enclosed disk.”

Back to Wivenhoe New once again, and we find that bugger all is planned for Wivenhoe:

“Q. Are any of the proposed sites for compensatory replanting located in the Wivenhoe area?

A: No. Wivenhoe Marsh has found to be unsuitable.”

Some superb questions have been directed at the EA in many of the letters of correspondence that I have now seen. When pressed to name an example of an Essex sea wall that has failed due to the presence of woody growth, Richard adds some historical (and flawed) perspective:

“Some Essex defences have been damaged due to heavy woody growth and needed repairing to ensure failures are prevented.”

And the last example of this was exactly when…?

“The last defence failures of the Essex Coast occurred during a surge tide in 1968. As the evidence is washed away when the wall breaches, we have no records as to the mode of failure of these sites.”

Which is all rather convenient, not to mention all rather pre-Wivenhoe Flood Barrier.

Areas where compensatory planting is taking place are then listed as Canvey Island, Althorne Lake, Brightlingsea East End Green, Burnham-on-Crouch, Little Oakley and Cattawade.

But not Wivenhoe. We are unique in oh so many ways. Which is why a singular, uniformed and one size fits all approach to flood management is so floored around the Colne estuary. What might work down the coast at Canvey bares bugger all resemblance to the changing coastline up towards North Essex.

If a rational, objective and scientific argument that is unique to Wivenhoe could be presented - and preferably before the bully boys move in again - then I believe that many Wivenhoe locals would be a bit more understanding when the bulldozers next turn up overnight.

Further dialogue with Richard Houghton is available via email at [email protected], or through a phone call on 01473 706720.

I’m off out badger hunting.

The summer season of films has just been released by Moving Image, the independent community cinema group in Wivenhoe. Five screenings in total will take place, covering cricket, social media and a small town coming of age flick.

Which is more or less my life story.

The Social Network (ACE) The Secret in their Eyes, Life in a Day, The Last Picture Show and Fire in Babylon make up the schedule. The first four films are being screened at the Philip Road *cough* Multiplex.

Fire in Babylon, the documentary about the Windies team of the 70′s and 80′s, is being shown rather appropriately at Rectory Road as part of the Wivenhoe Town Cricket Club cricket festival.

Once again Moving Image is showing great initiative in extending the screenings out into the community. The Philip Road Centre, The Lakeside, the KGV, The Station pub - Wivenhoe seems to have become a network of pop up cinemas overnight.

The Philip Road Centre remains the flagship location (stop sniggering…) Dave Gladden and Amanda Smith have recently put in place some heavyweight lightproof curtains to help with the black out. Rick Cawley has been sourcing a new sound system as well.

Following these summer screenings, Moving Image is taking a short break until September. This has been a fantastic first year for the vision of an independent community cinema in Wivenhoe. As ever, volunteers are always needed…

You can download a copy of the July poster to display around the town over here.

Week 3 of Wiv Chat and woh - here we weigh in with a Wivenhoe BIG HITTER: It’s only Mayor Bob Needham.

Blimey.

I say Week 3 of Wiv Chat, but really what I’m doing here is storing these interviews up while I have a head start, before the (probable) launch of Radio Wivenhoe on 4th July.

Online experience on similar projects has taught meet to make the most of the content whilst it is there. Lean weeks will no doubt arise - that’s when your backlog comes into play.

The plan all along has been to publish the audio content here, as well as sending it on to the good folk of Radio Wivenhoe. I really want this to be an online archived project of Wivenhoe voices.

It’s not a radio project per se - it’s mixture of local voices meets the modern interweb, via the good Radio Wivenhoe. What exactly is a radio station anyway in 2011? It’s all about online audio, Comrades.

Speaking of which, the big booming voice of Mayor Needham was actually quite a calming one as we sat down in my front room parlour / makeshift studio.

We spoke about wartime memories of Wivenhoe, Bob’s career progression through the Essex police force, and then something of a full circle direction with Bob finding himself back in Wivenhoe and wearing the civic chains of Mr Mayor.

Many, many thanks to Bob for being such a brilliant and engaging guest. I was quite conscience of the time, but I feel we could have carried on for another hour at least.

The sound quality is still hit and miss, much like my heart rate when I realised that the whopping 300+ MB file was a little too large for me transfer via my iPhone Dropbox connection.

Whoops.

Ways and means, and soon I has a huge chunk of the lovely Mr Mayor to feed into Audacity. I don’t want to take the risk in future of losing an entire conversation, and so I’ve invested in some new tools for the trade.

It’s not quite the Mr Mule method of using Radio Wivenhoe as a justification to buy a new studio (ouch!) but I have bought a more robust, professional mp3 portable recorder. I’ll be giving the Zoom H1 something of a test at the Funny Farm this Thursday.

And so once again, the call goes out for any local folk who would like to sit down for a VERY informal and friendly chat and to explore ideas about the Wivenhoe way of life. You will of course have the right of deletion, but I hope to keep these conversations a friendly affair.

A steamy and sultry wander back towards Wivenhoe early on Monday morning - don’t ask - perfect for capturing the midsummer haze, just as it was starting to settle along the muddy banks of the Colne.

This short stretch continues to amaze me each morning. Having commuted (of sorts) along the Trail for almost nine months, a day doesn’t go by when I fail to notice something new.

Nature has a remarkable way of uprooting and surpassing all that has grown before. This process is accelerated especially around this wonderful midsummer time of the year.

Yeah - I’m turning into an old hippy.

It can’t be long before I put on the wetsuit and forsake the morning indoor swim for a muddy Colne dip. I keep on picking up advice - some sound, some just plain silly.

Just Do It, Jase.

The slideshow above serves as the companion piece to accompany my bicycle ride up the Trail towards the Hythe. Cycling / walking / swimming along the North Essex estuary wilds - THIS is exactly why we moved out to these parts.

Perfect.

Full flickr set over here.

To the Quay on Sunday afternoon for a quaff and some quartal and quintal harmony. Far *too* clever, Jase - yer trying too hard.

Tell It Like It Is:

OK, Comrades - Jazz on the Quay and BOOZE.

Blimey.

With New Orleans weather gracing Wivenhoe, what we needed was some respectable Regency style regalia - a parasol perhaps, an ankle length dress and a double G & T if you don’t mind.

All present and correct, Bandmaster.

The mighty fine Backwater Band returned to Wivenhoe for one afternoon of trad jazz and tales. There is a lot of twaddle written about jazz in general - it’s all about feelin’ it, folks. Which the fine chaps from the Backwater Band most certainly did after three hours out in the estuary heat.

It was standing room only around the Rose and Crown. The quayside boozer pretty much dines out on the location alone during these summer months, but it seemed that a lot of folk had come out especially to see the Backwater Band.

I was included in this category, along with the splendid company of Mayor Needham. You know you’re doing something right when the Mr Mayor makes a remark on the loudness of your shirt. I uttered something in reply about all that jazz, baby. I blame it on the freestyle foot tappin’ meets Johnny Cash, as was the case mid-set.

Come late afternoon and a selection of the Regency ladies came close to some jive. Feet were tapped, hips were wiggled and eyes were averted.

“It’s like Wivenhoe’s very own Glasto,” as a drinking friend observed.

Oh Lordy.

There was a tinge of regret late in the afternoon when the old timers from the Backwater Band wished Wivenhoe a fond farewell for yet another year. Is there the appetite for a revival of the Wivenhoe Jazz Club?

The Folk Club seems to thrive on the Open Mic policy, always offering up local artists that live on the periphery of the wider folk umbrella. Jazz covers many sub-genres in itself - any booming jazz club would need to diversify.

But whereas a floor spot at the Folk Club can be filled by a bloke and a battered guitar - and rather wonderfully it must be said - it’s not quite as simple turn on, tune in and feel the jazz for the more sophisticated genre.

I’d be up for monthly jazz sessions locally, but could we source the talent?

Jazz isn’t dead - it just smells funny, as the great quote goes. Wivenhoe would do well to inhale once again.

And so there I was on a mid-week afternoon, sipping cups of tea in my kitchen with Mr Mule and having a non-broadcast chat about how we are both bodging our way around Audacity as part of the wonderful Radio Wivenhoe project.

An extra boost of sugar in my PG Tips inspired me to slap my thighs, climb on the kitchen table and annoyingly declare:

“Hey kids! Let’s put a show on, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!“

Oh Lordy.

And so Mr Mule and I departed to the front room parlour studio, sat down in the rocking chairs (seriously) and hit the record button. Once again the conversation was pretty much unplanned. I just wanted to speak with Martin about his life in Wivenhoe, the influence that the estuary town has had running through his work and his thoughts on the future.

I am fast learning that this is the best way to work for these Wiv Chat broadcasts. Martin can talk for England. and Wivenhoe - in fact he does so in the recordings below. I find it fascinating to hear the insights about the town each time we catch up for a conversation.

Oh - and as pledged as the end of the recording, jingles from Mr Mule for Wiv Chat duly arrived the next day. I LOVE the irony of Mulberry Harbour - a song poking polite fun about new folk arriving in the town - being used as my jingle.

We’re not form London, y’know…

Whoops.

The station itself is starting to take hold behind the scenes. A tremendous amount of work is being put in by Jerry Davis, Joe Newell and others. A provisional live launch date has been scheduled for 4th July. There is also fighting talk of a Radio Wivenhoe Fun Day (hurrah) on 20th August.

The kind Bookshop folk are busy recording spoken word from local authors; Hilary Lazwell is working on a Victorian Gothic story telling series and former Councillor Cyril Liddy is looking at a Book at Bedtime show.

Cripes.

Our May Fair friends are tapping into their vast local musical contacts, poetrywivenhoe have involvement and I’m off down the Funny Farm next week to record some of gags from the Wivenhoe comedy club.

My own personal plan is to run with these Wiv Chat pieces for as long as possible. We got off to a great start with the oral history gold of Peter Green. Mr Mule is a Wivenhoe legend, and speaking of which - I only had that nice Mr Mayor around my fireside for a catch up on Friday afternoon.

So three in the bag, and hopefully a Wiv Chat head of steam is rolling out. I have a hit list of twenty-five or so local characters or groups that I personally know whom I can approach. Please do volunteer yourself forward (or suggest other names) to keep this Wiv Chat work going.

Forty minutes or so of Mr Mule is probably enough for one sitting, but I feel that there are plenty more tales to be told from Martin to follow.

I think I’m going to rather enjoy this particular project…

Never one to shy away from showcasing our local Wivenhoe talent and characters: it’s only Barnwell Bear.

Blimey!

With a huge heads up to Moira to for very kindly supplying these photographs (which I believe have already been published in the brilliant Wivenhoe News?) - here we have everyone’s favourite local independent toyshop mascot in his many different disguises.

Watching Barnwell change his wardrobe as the autumnal weeks of my first arrival in Wivenhoe soon became a snowy winter, was one of the highlights each morning as I cycled down towards the foot of the town.

It was a blog post waiting to happen - not to mention a don’t forget yer camera moment each morning, something which I never quite got organised enough to put in place.

A casual tweet (oh yes) and my inbox became full of Barnwell Bears.

Brilliant.

I’ve no idea where the name comes from, but I suspect Barnwell has some hyerlocal historical significance. I personally think that he bears (geddin there) an uncanny resemblance to a certain Wivenhoe Town Councillor…

Everyone has to have his or her favourite Barnwell look - mine is the bird watching estuary gent. I’ve heard pub talk of Barnwell appearing in full S & M gear around Valentine’s Day. The special safety word is probably Goldilocks.

Now would be apt timing to remind folk of the Wivenhoe Teddy Bear’s Picnic, taking place on the afternoon of 31st July at the KGV. Dubbed Mini-May Fair, here’s hoping that as much excitement is evident for the ankle biters as was experienced by their big brothers and sisters last month.

Plus a quick plug for Barnwell’s new neighbour, the delightful Divine Intervintage, located just across the alley from Jack in the Box. Selling a line of classic, retro and vintage clothes, I wish the new Wivenhoe business venture well.

Maybe Barnwell could be kitted out in a costume from next door? Cross dressing cuddly toys is just *sooo* Wivenhoe, dahhhling…