onionbagblog

*Tuesday 29th, 10:00 update*

The pool remians closed. The receptionist is telling users that “we are hopeful of being open sometime tomorrow [Wednesday.]”

Very, very poor, Fusion.

Meanwhile, the lido website seems to be explaining the whole situation in terms of a “technical problem,” rather than the police incident that closed the pool on Monday morning:

“A technical problem in the small hours of Monday morning has been cited the cause for closure. We have our pool engineers on site from Tuesday morning at 7am and we will do everything possible to ensure that the pool is back in operation.”

Which is all very strange, seeing as though the place was cordoned off by coppers on Monday morning. The reality is a combination of a break-in and the return on the ongoing chlroine situation. Both incidents are only related in terms of a corporate cock up from Fusion.

*Monday 28th, 19:00 update*

The pool has remained closed all day. The police completed their investigations, but sadly the lido was unable to re-open once again because of a “chemical imbalance.”

*sigh*

If it’s not the chlorine that is closing Brockwell Lido then it is the local idiots who fail to understand the concept of community. It was heartbreaking to cycle to SE24 for the daily dip on Monday morning, only to find a police cordon and a closed lido.

It seems that a break-in took place during the early hours, clearing out the lido reception of cash from the night before. Any form of communication to customers from Fusion has sadly been lacking in recent weeks. It took a bizarre head nodding / shaking game with an off-message lifeguard, to try and work out why our lido was closed for the fourth time this month.

“Is this another chlorine bodge job?”

Head shake.

“Has someone broken in?”

Head nod.

“Has there been a poolside injury?”

Head shake.

“Was theft involved?”

Nod, nod, nod.

It’s not the first time that this has happened - the exact same situation took place only a fortnight ago following another Scorchio South London weekend of al fresco swimming. I hope that lessons were learnt first time round from Fusion, and the takings from the weekend weren’t left overnight on the premises.

The ease of access to the lido during the early hours appears to be down to no formal security in place regarding the car park games. With the Park Rangers closing the park at sunset, a word of mouth agreement is in place with @lambeth_council, allowing Fusion staff to lock the Dulwich Road gate after the gym closes at 10pm.

This only works well if the Fusion staff actually remember to lock the gates, come closing time for the lido gym.

Whoops.

Recent nights have seen a build up in the car park during the early hours, which High Court Judges would no doubt describe as a “rave.” Young folk gather around their cars, play loud music which omits a high frequency of beats per minute and… dance.

The rotters.

But this also leaves the lido highly exposed to abuse. The ornate metallic lido sign long since went missing from the front of the building. Last summer saw the closure of the lido when the early lifeguard opened up, only to find some fool had lobbed glass bottles over the lido wall.

Many lido lovers have been annoyed in recent weeks over the increase in security for pool users. Bag searches are in place, an activity that goes totally against the laid back ethos of lido life. It’s a shame the same level of security isn’t in place to keep away genuine trouble makers from the lido.

With the head nod / shake game over, I mounted the Moulton and pondered yet another morning of misery down at Brixton Rec. Back in SW9 and the morning swim lived up to the low expectations I had placed upon it.

Timing my birthday suit moment to coincide with the weekly swim from the lovely kids in one of the schools I work in didn’t help my cause. The appearance of the legendary Nostril Man - the swimmer who empties the contents of his nose after each length in the same style as a Premier League footballer - only added to my indoor indisposition.

It has got to the stage now where the policy of pimping out public pools to two private contractors is actually starting to pay off for me. With a Fusion lido membership and a GLL Swim London membership for Brixton, at least I’ve got all bases covered when it comes to finding somewhere to swim in Lambeth each morning.

Meanwhile, the lovely lido continues the slow decline of trust between users and management. It is testing the levels of human patience to conjure up any feelings of contempt associated with such an amazing community facility. Fusion’s poor corporate management of the project is sadly pushing many lido lovers to feel frustration towards the future of the facility.