Something of a world exclusive (seriously) for the latest Wiv Chat with a wonderful conversation with Jon Wiseman, to help launch his recently published The Story of Wivenhoe Cricket book.

Blimey.

Having moved from living next door to The Oval, missing @surreycricket was always going to be the major factor for me personally in leaving South London. Fifteen years of growing friendships and first class cricket can’t be forgotten over the course of one summer.

I needn’t have worried. My recent visits to Rectory Road have found a similar cricketing experience. Wivenhoe Town is a community cricket club that currently has ambitions to combine a friendly feel with a winning team.

It is an aim that appears to be well on the way to achieving. The first team sits proudly on top of the Two Counties Cricket Championship, fielding mainly local lads each weekend. The support comes from the community, with faces old and new adding to the club ethos.

As an outsider I have been made to feel incredibly welcome. This isn’t an old duffers cricket club with no direction. My awareness was pricked with match day tweets, and a strong online presence to welcome local Wivenhoe folk in.

Emails were exchanged, contacts were made and then just as Cricket Week was kicking in, I was able to welcome Jon Wiseman into my front room / broadcast studio to record the latest programme for Wiv Chat.

The Story of Wivenhoe Cricket has been an eighteen-month labour of love for Jon and the backroom assistance he has had from all within the club. It is not so much the story of Wivenhoe cricket, but the story of Wivenhoe as told through cricket.

World Wars, the decline of industry, the re-birth of the town – all of these events are told through cricket. Sport is a great adhesive in which to frame the social history of a town.

Our forty minute or so conversation of course doesn’t do justice to the volume of research and stories behind the stats that Jon’s worldwide quest for Wivenhoe cricket research has taken him.

I was pleased to find that Jon’s starting point was Nicholas Butler’s absolutely brilliant The Story of Wivenhoe (a nod and a wink at the Bookshop, and I believe copies are still available behind the counter…) as a blueprint for his research.

Butler also believes that sport can be used to track the development of the town. Brevity meant that the complete story of Wivenhoe cricket couldn’t be accommodated in his book. Thankfully Jon has had the foresight to complete the story.

In our chat below, Jon explains more about his own forty year involvement with cricket in Wivenhoe, and the “circle of life” that he believes passes through Rectory Road with each passing generation.

It was a rather sombre Wednesday morning when we recorded it. I found the dialogue genuinely moving and quite emotional as Jon opened up as to how the club has played a major role in his own life.

We then explore the research methods, and the stories that lay within. Cricket is a game for characters; it is to no surprise that Wivenhoe has been able to produce many of these since that first recorded game back in 1765.

The final section of our chat concludes with the current golden age that Wivenhoe Town is now experiencing. It is no coincidence that the cricket club is going through a boom period, five years or so after the Committee decided to focus on the long term future of the club.

A day later and I found myself along the boundary at Rectory Road as Cricket Week was in full swing at Wivenhoe. The occasion was for the formal launch of The Story of Wivenhoe Cricket and to celebrate all that Jon has achieved.

Mid-afternoon and half the town appeared to be up at Rectory Road, with a game taking place between the first eleven and Leg Trappers XI, aka the visiting team from Bermuda – blimey!

Mr Mayor, his supporting cast of Wivenhoe Town Councillors, Colchester Borough Councillors, familiar faces from all the local pubs and general flotsam and jetsam that gets washed up within Wivenhoe life – all were out to enjoy cricket and the clubhouse bar.

Chin chin.

As the tea break came, the sun made a spectacular appearance across the marquee, and it was time to celebrate The Story of Wivenhoe Cricket. Club Chairman Michael Lucking spoke of how this day was the “biggest occasion” in the recent history of the club.

Looking around the marquee as the printed history was about to be made public, and you could see that the five generations of Wivenhoe cricketers past and present clearly felt the same.

Jon explained a little more about the book, clearly playing a straight bat within the banter that surrounds any sporting club. He seemed rightfully proud of what he has achieved.

I’m happy that I managed to catch him with a few off-spinners away from the safety of the pavilion the day before, and allowed Jon to open up more about what cricket in Wivenhoe really means to him.

And then as one would expect from a cricket tea, the most splendid spread was laid out for all to enjoy. Books were purchased; personal messages were left by the author.

I looked around across the outfield, and as well as the expected sight of the elder generation of Wivenhoe cricket having an eager first read of the book, what I shall remember is the reaction from the current first team.

Huddled together around the boundary, the players were equally keen to head straight for the stats page and to eagerly see if their own relatively short contribution to Wivenhoe cricket has made it to print yet.

This is a club that respects tradition, and has built in a culture of keeping this alive and taking it to the next generation. It is the 75th anniversary in two weeks time since the deeds were signed for the cricket club to have a permanent base at Rectory Road. How fitting that the current first team seems to understand the value of what has gone before, and what it means to play cricket in Wivenhoe in 2011.

I returned back to base, and tuned in, as ever, to the magnificent ball-by-ball online commentary from @surreycricket. Mr Ramps had just hit a fine 140 knock, and all was well within my cricketing world.

You can take the cricket nerd out of South London, and just *maybe* you can find something as equally enjoyable away from the splendour of The Oval and out towards the North Essex estuary wilds.

Oh – and as Jon kindly pointed out, there is a Surrey / Wivenhoe connection in Digby Jephson, the demon underarm bowler, known locally as The Lobster. Digby went on to captain Surrey…

Splendid.

The Story of Wivenhoe Cricket by Jon Wiseman is published by Oxford Publishing Services. It is available from the Wivenhoe Bookshop.

Cricket Week at Rectory Road continues up until Sunday 31st July. There is a T20 tournament on Friday, and then afternoon games on Saturday and Sunday.

I wouldn’t exactly call it a coordinated campaign, but connections have been made, and a strategy has been put in place. I’ve even been invited by our friends from @lambeth_council to speak at the Licensing Committee, in opposition to the plans.

My first conversation was literally over the garden fence. I spoke to my neighbours for the first time ever. I’m not sure why it has taken so long, but now some common ground has been established, I’m hopeful of continuing good relations. We both agreed that the licence would be an extreme nuisance in our residential area.

Remembering my evening spent mixing with the disparate (but rather nice) bunch that is the Fentiman, Richbourne and Dorset Road Resident’s Association, I contacted the Chair and asked for advice and support.

The good folk of the Bolney Meadow Resident’s Association are also objecting to the licence. Although still along Dorset Road, the Bolney Meadow estate is a five minute walk away from Kelly’s. This shows the strength of opposition against the application.

And then evening all, evening all – it’s only a pledge from the local police to also speak out against the planned licence. The fine folk of the Oval Safer Neighbourhood Team have very real crime and disorder concerns about allowing alcohol to be sold until 5am, in what was up until very recently, still a Police Dispersal Zone.

And then to complete the alliance of friendly locals, we even have cross party support from @LambethLabour and @LambethLibDems – blimey.

The very good @janeinlondon / E Hants has agreed to represent residents at the Licensing Committee. The Lone LibDem, Councillor Brown, is also asking questions with both the Licensing Committee and the Planning Applications Committee, in an attempt to find out if there is any connection between the two recent (and seemingly separate) applications.

So yeah – it’s all been rather rewarding in uniting the local community against the plans for a business outside of the borough to come into our neighbourhood and create a social nuisance. The real reward however will be if the bonkers licence is thrown out, and some proper local and social use can be made of the old Kelly’s building.

A break in the working day. Off to catch the final session of play at The Oval. C’mon the ‘rrey!

Splendid bare chest action around The Oval. Mr Ramps on 75, looking strong for century.

Not quite cricket tweet of doom, but Walters pulls, catches thick edge and caught for fine 31. 284-5 @surreycricket.

Mr Ramps looking relaxed on 88. The Master key to holding @surreycricket innings together. 298-5. Observing that blokes have strange toes.

300 up for @surreycricket and third batting point of the day. Decent crowd at The Oval. Can’t beat the drama of County Championship. 300-5.

The good @surreycricket informs me that the ‘rrey have highest number of batting points in Division. Which suggests we can’t take wickets.

Watching tea interval pitch invaders at The Oval. Remembering the time when @FreeSouthLondon buried a Sth Ldn time capsule at centre wicket.

Oval bell ringing. Umps strolling back out into the middle. Key final session. Keep Mr Ramps at the crease until morning & @sureycricket ftw.

Righto. Work beckons. Back to SW8 base. 316-5 @surreycricket. A decent first day of play.

Off to The Oval for some t20 twaddle (and confusion.) My *shhh* new home team of um, Essex, are playing Kent. Cripes.

At a rather empty Oval. Essex Vs Kent t20 experiment in South London seems to have backfired. Hopeful of a good game. 20-0 Kent in the 3rd.

Nice of the Surrey fox to turn up. Oh, and @AnnaJCowen. 25-0 Kent.

@darryl1974 thinking behind Oval game was to get Essex and Kent City boys in. Seems more like @ surreycricket Members on freebies.

Major, major drop from Bopara. Essex team mates console, no doubt cursing under breath. 69-2 Kent in the 10th. Need to get a move on.

Rockin’ that cricket look, ladeees.

My cricket mistress is a tease. She has just informed me that the Oval bar has run dry. 4-0 Essex, chasing 168.

Cripes. I am actually shouting out “Esse-xxx Esse-xxx Esse-xxx” under my drunken breath. 53-1 in the 6th, chasing down 171.

@martyj21 ah, v kind, thank you. Something of #cricket sabbatical at The Oval this evening. Weird game. 86-1 Essex in the 10th. “Refreshed”

Discussing South London skyline with @AnnaJCowen from the OCS vantage point. Amazing how churches are still defining feature. 114-2 Essex.

Discussing South London skyline with @AnnaJCowen from the OCS vantage point. Amazing how churches are still defining feature. 114-2 Essex.

Classic finish lined up at The Oval. Essex need 23 off 2 overs to win. Cripes. C’mon, um, the ‘Sex.

Decent win for Essex. I think @AnnaJCowen and I will be happy as we head out East.

Ample tired and emotional folk leaving The Oval.

Oval bound for some t20 twaddle. Looking forward to an evening with @surreycricket on the OCS roof terrace. C’mon the ‘rrey! #cricket

In place in the Member’s roof terrace. With pint, with @surreycricket, with @AnnaJCowen. Two outta three ‘ain’t bad.

Early wicket for The ‘Sex. And it’s only The Master Mr Ramps. Technically run out for 0, more like mud-wicket collision. 6-1 @surreycricket.

Cripes, we’re struggling. Jason Roy also goes for a duck, second ball. 6-2 the ‘rrey in the third. Here comes Khan.

Decent shot from young Rory HB. Clears the boundary. 20-2 @surreycricket. The Oval filling up nicely.

27-2 @surreycricket in the 6th. Can’t find any momentum. Bar situation slightly different.

Oh dear. Young Rory HB back in the hutch. Great run out by the ‘Sex. @surreycricket struggling. 30-3.

Wondering if @cabbiescapital is anywhere at The Oval?

Walters walking for a pithy 1. The most ridiculous way to get out in cricket – stepping back on yer stumps. High expectations for Symonds.

Ah, my cricket mistress has arrived. With a pint as well. I choose my women well. 36-4 @surreycricket. Khan & Symonds at the crease.

50 up for the ‘rrey. Symonds exploding. Well, not quite, but y’know. May buy him a pint or ten in the bar later if he keeps it up. 57-4.

@mazlaws @SurreyCCC apologies, as ever. @surreycricket tweet of doom. Symonds cloths it, caught and bowled on 19. 59-5. Down to Khan.

I should go off tweet. Sorry. Khan walking for 21. 62-6 the ‘rrey. Gonna run out of batsmen. Ear plugs in. It’s only Gary Wildon. Oh Lordy.

Montpellier Club actually has bums on seats tonight. Membership (£1.5k pa) gives you 3 course meal & unlimited booze for every game. Cripes.

1′s and 2′s no good for @surreycricket. Peversely it’s what I need after an afternoon at the bar. 84-6 the ‘rrey in the 16th.

Ton up @surreycricket.

The @surreycricket man huddle really is rather homoerotic. Speaking of which, the ‘Sex are at the crease. 1-0, chasing down a poxy 120.

A plan / challenge: sit in every block in every stand at The oval, ahead of Great Escape. Running out of time… 16-1 the ‘Sex. Even start.

Nonsense Mexican wave at The Oval. The ‘Sex 43-1, 78 more runs required in the 7th. Best hold off that next trip to the bar.

Looking out across the South London view from the OCS Terrace and I ponder the folly of what @AnnaJCowen and I are about to commit. Cripes.

Beer snake action in the OCS. Wicket as well for @surreycricket. 82-3 the ‘Sex, 39 required in the 13th.

29 from 28 required from the ‘ Sex. @FreeSouthLondon would no doubt agree that our North London friends are labouring somewhat.

So yeah, @surreycricket lose to the ‘Sex. Hey hoe. We have a topless streaker at The Oval. He has a todger however.

Off to The Oval for t20 twaddle and @surreycricket. Here’s hoping Cosgrove has left some of the Sunday roast for the rest of us #cricket

Hope The Oval wicket isn’t as slow as the @surreycricket bar staff.

Lovely boy Crofty opening the bowling for Glamorgan.

The Member’s Roof Terrace at The Oval truly is delightful. Bar right behind me. 12-0 @surreycricket.

I wish the t20 music had the same variation level as Mr Ramps’ shots. 14 for The Master, appears on fine form. 21-0 @surreycricket.

*not* cricket tweet of doom for @SurreyCCC & @mazlaws, but I’m predicting a huge t20 knock for Mr Ramps. 34-0 @surreycricket, 25 for Master.

“A formidable figure” – best description I’ve heard of Cosgrove, coming from the good @surreycricket. 43 without loss the ‘rrey.

Class catch sees off young Lancefield for a fine 27. Roy and Ramps at the crease has a nice ring to it. 68-1 @surreycricket in the 7th.

Ace commentary from @surreycricket, as ever. Live on *proper* 94.9 radio as well. It’s been my cricket education for past 5 summers. 71-1.

Kool and the Gang’s Celebration probably wasn’t written with South London cricket in mind. But it just about works. 90-1 @surreycricket.

Roy cuts, top edge and is caught behind for 9. Nevermind, here comes that nice Andrew Symonds. Blimey. 90-2 @surreycricket.

Symonds slogs, caught on rope in front of the pavilion. Young Rory HB steps up. Master Ramps still going strong on 46. @surreycricket 98-3.

Good effort from fine @surreycricket cheerleaders, but doing splits in front of Peter May beer boys is accident waiting to happen.

50 up for The Master Mr Ramps. Golden days watching him at The Oval. Treasure these moments. 119-3 @sureycricket.

Mark Cosgrove brought into attack. An all rounder, in every sense. Dave Podmore in disguise. Takes HB wicket for 18. 123-4 @surreycricket.

Beefy Cosgrove being slogged around The Oval in the 19th. 162-4 @surreycricket. Breaks on in past 5, still not sure if enough. C’mon ‘rrey!

168-4 @surreycricket come the close. 63 for Mr Ramps. Should be enough. Looking forward to seeing big boy Cosgrove bat. Beer…

Wannadies playing in the gents at The Oval. Blimey. Always underrated.

@surreycricket seem to have constrained Glorgan as we approach middle overs. 38-1, chasing down 169, 14 overs remaining.

This just in: Major, major sporting news of the day, um, big boy Cosgrove caught for 19. 46-3 Glamorgan. @surreycricket looking good. Cripes.

99 off ten required for Glamorgan. ‘ain’t gonna happen. C’mon the ‘rrey!

Concerned. @surreycricket struggling. 16 off 4 balls from Glamorgan. 123-4, chasing 169 in the 14th. Game on for Glamorgam. Eek.

17 from 14 required by Glamorgan. Sweaty palms time.

12 off 10 for Glamorgan to win. Lordy.

10 required from last over. Where’s your money? Rory HB brings himself on. Blimey.

Rory slogged for 6. Hey hoe.

Bad call, young Rory. Glamorgan win.

Profanity alert: quote from gents – “useless peroxide t***. He’s got Chris Adams’ c*** up his a***.” cripes.

Oval bound for some t20 twaddle.

In place at The Oval for @surreycricket. Change of location, decided on Member’s Roof Terrace.

Very excited about seeing Tres bat for Somerset. But first, opening for @surreycricket is The Master Mr Ramps. C’mon the ‘rrey!

Ah, I can see Somewhere in SE17 from up here.

Whoever Lancefield fella is, he’s certainly got his t20 hat on. Raced to 16. 31-0 @surreycricket. I have Parliamentarian company. Cripes.

No more Lancefield tweets, fella is back in the hutch, caught on 16. 33-1 @surreycricket. Here comes that ace Jason Roy.

Apologies to @FreeSouthLondon but The Parliamentarian has declared the view from terrace out to South London not a patch on North view.

Jason Roy hitting big. Mr Ramps the support act. 82-1 @surreycricket. A fine start. Same sitting down pom pom girls.

Mr Ramps cuts and is caught in the slips. 96-2 @surreycricket.

Plus point of Member’s Roof Terrace: bar right behind me. 114-3 @surreycricket in the 14th. 200 certainly possible. C’mon the ‘rrey!

Fearful that @surreycricket might regret not going for the slog earlier. 165-4 in the final over. Floodlights on. Why?

Roy is walking on 74. Member’s rising. Earplugs in, Gary Wilson…

Oh Lordy. Here comes a man wearing a lion costume walking around The Oval. 172 the run chase for Tres and the boys. Bar. Chin chin.

Not sure why we need cheesy house music pumped in the toilets in the Member’s Terrace at The Oval. Great start for @surreycricket, 15-3 Somerset.

Stunning catch from Rory HB as Somerset struggle on 41-4. Pathetic Mexican Wave breaking out around The Oval. Hope @mazlaws isn’t joining in.

Somerset hitting big. Cripes. 64-4, chasing down @surreycricket’s 171. @AnnaJCowen is out for the count. On shandy. Blimey.

Mr Ramps getting cheer as he attends boundry boy duties in front of OCS. Remarkable skyline mirrors OCS. 77-5 Somerset.

Stunning performance from @surreycricket. 94-8 Somerset. All over bar, um, the bar. Blimey.

For the first time since the Hollioake days, I’m starting to *shhh* believe in @surreycricket.

We love you Mr Ramps!

Oh Lordy. We have a streaker @surreycricket. With clothes. As pointless as a pencil with no lead. The ‘rrey win. Marvelous.

Off to The Oval for some t20 twaddle. I am wearing a pair of tights – True! #cricket

In place in the pavilion. 9-1 Sussex. Gunter just been slogged for 4. All is well with my world.

Matt Prior playing tennis rather than #cricket. Volleys to the slips and just behind Mr Ramps. Music now early ’80s cheese. 18-0 Sussex.

Runs being racked up for Sussex, more through fortune than skill. Inside edges, cuts and slogs.

Prior shown up for cockiness of shot. Short ball his downfall, caught behind for 5. 23-1 Sussex.

Big crowd at The Oval, lack of booze all round. Reckon Member’s still suffering after Friday excess. And you, @mazlaws?

Ah, the @surreycricket head barman is back out on the balcony watching the cricket. Good excuse to get a pint and keep him busy.

Here we go. Symonds has the cherry for @surreycricket, hunting the wicket of McCullum. 39-1 Sussex on the 3rd.

I do like Symonds, but I don’t think the fella has been through the same pre-season fitness workout that @surreycricket put through.

Viscount Lindley brought on from Vauxhall End. 50 up for Sussex.

@SurreyCCC Symond’s friendly banter with other batsmen could equally apply to most big names on the t20 circuit. Finally seeing best of him.

Lovely catch from Walters on the boundary, sending McCullum back after a fine 34. 66-2 Sussex. C’mon the ‘rrey!

Good old Walters. Catches Goodwin on the boundary this time for 28. Big wicket for @surreycricket. 70-3 Sussex. Still stone cold sober.

That day glo skin tight green @surreycricket top ain’t that flattering for chunky Symonds. Gonna get @AnnaJCowen to tell the big man.

Lordy. Smith launches over long on, all the way to, um, me in the pavilion. Major shot. Symonds seething. 94-3 Sussex.

Wicket, wicket. 103-4. If I lean forward I just catch sun in pavilion. It means I’ve got my tongue inside ear of chap in front. He’s happy.

126-4 Sussex. Reckon away team about to slog big time. Viscount Linley has the cherry for @surreycricket. Decent knock so far.

Blimey. Gatting at the crease. Nope, not *that* one, but the nephew. Still fine batsman. 134-5 Sussex. Bonkers cheerleaders doing can can.

Bibbed up policeman standing remarkably close to bibbed up cheerleaders. Not much difference. Both clean shaven. I think. 141-5.

Poor cheerleader has just taken one up the arse. Cracker of a shot from Gatting gets the can can bird right up the backside. 150-6.

Gunter fuming. Exact words to Member in pavilion: “Sit down! Sit the F down!” You’d be a brave man to disobey. 157-7 Sussex. Good to see MJ.

159 the run chase. Certainly achievable for @surreycricket. And so is my sobriety. Blimey.

@AnnaJCowen is the nearly cheerleader. She’s just been hit on the arse with a T-shirt being fired out of a gun. Strange game.

Great start fron young Rory HB. Huge six from the @surreycricket captain into OCS. Repeats it two balls later. 18-0 the ‘rrey.

Sussex trying all tricks in bowling attack None sticking. 28-0 @surreycricket in the 3rd.

Rory HB chances his luck with a pull, gets top edge and is caught on 24. Which must mean… time for Mr Ramps. Savour the Master. I think.

Ramps dropped on 4. Could be costly. 49-1 @surreycricket. Still sober.

Whoops. Tweet of doom. Ramps walking for 8. Good to see Martin Jenkins get wicket in final run in. Here comes fireworks, here comes Symonds.

Tweet of doom part II. Big fella caught second ball for 1. Whoops. Sorry. Ta for coming, etc. 64-3 @surreycricket. Khan up next. Can’t fail.

@mazlaws apologies. That’s what happens when you watch cricket sober. Will Beer testing my patience.

Davies slogs and is caught for a fine 35. I’m saying nothing. Absolutely nowt. 74-4 @surreycricket. Game swinging away. @AnnaJCowen asleep.

Been told that I need to model myself on Surrey Beardy Weirdy for that chic Wivenhoe look. Old boy boozing. Good enough for me.

I’ve just applauded Matt Prior for first time in my life. Better boundary boy than wicket keeper. 81-4 the ‘rrey, chasing 159 in the 12th.

Not looking good for @surreycricket. This is a *very* good Sussex side. 91-5 in the 14th, chasing 159. Lesson: be legless to watch cricket.

Pavilion eptying. 61 to win from just 4 overs. Khan caught, here comes big man Gunter. Cripes. Four overs to down 7 pints, @mazlaws.

Nelson up for@surreycricket. And so is the game.

Very excited about @surreycricket T20 later. Symonds, Khan, Mr Ramps. Oh, and Gunter Nel as well. Blimey.

Oh dear – raining over The Oval #cricket

Oval bound for some T20 nonsense.

All v quiet here at The Oval. More folk in ground for CC match at the weekend. @surreycricket wearing shocking day glo green kit.

Shocking start for @surreycricket. 9-2 in the 3rd. Some chap called Symonds is at the crease. Hang on, nope, cut & caught for 1. Oh Lordy.

Righto. So that’s Mr Ramps and Symonds both out, before 10 is on the scoreboard for @surreycricket. All down to Khan and the Boy Wonder now.

Oh yeah – politely asked barmaid in the pavilion to top my pint up. She didn’t seem to see what the issue was. Chin chin.

Ramps #fail Symonds #fail and now Khan #fail. Come back Jimmy Ormond. 13-4 @surreycricket. PA strangely playing Inspiral Carpets.

Afzal now back in the hutch. 17-5 @surreycricket. Shocking stuff. Boos coming from Member’s pavilion. Only boundary come from inside edge.

Observation that @surreycricket T20 kit is a glorified steward jacket. First decent shot of the innings from the Boy Wonder. 35-5.

Slight encouragement. Boy Wonder playing Captain’s innings. 36 for Rory HB. 56-5 @surreycricket. Cheerleaders doing strange can can. Cripes.

Whoops. The curse of the casual cricket tweeter. Boy Wonder walking, run out for 41. @surreycricket out of batsmen now. Member’s peeved.

68-7 @surreycricket. Cripes. Up steps Gunter Nel. Need a big innings from the big man.

Whoops. Spriegel next to walk. 69-8. Cheerleader comes close to being dropped. Ah, and with immaculate timing, here’s @AnnaJCowen. Booze!

Bugger. 77-9 @surreycricket. Back home in time for Eastenders.

@surreycricket fail to make it to 20 overs, all bowled out for 97. And they’re playing that bloody Inspiral Carpets song again.

Oh Lordy. Here’s @surreycricket mascot. It’s new branded bloke in day glo green. Use to use to quite like Kenny Kennington’s breakdancing.

That is close to worst T20 batting performance I’ve seen, & that really is saying something given the last three years #T20 (via @SurreyCCC)

Highlight of the evening so far: catching up with Francoise, my man from South Lambeth Road. Joint verdict – @surreycricket shocking.

46-0 Glouc, and @AnnaJCowen said @surreycricket look like losing. The girl speaks sense. Oval flat. Beer not. Little point tweeting defeat.

Has any team ever managed not to take a single wicket in T20? @surreycricket heading that way.

Mmm. Stumps. Glouc win by, um, ten wickets. Boos from the pavilion.

Plus: match report from the wonderful @SurreyCCC blog.

Off to admit Wolfgang Moneypenny into the Long Room at The Oval. I fear an abuse of my @surreycricket membership. Oh Lordy.

@surreycricket saw off L**c for 479, only to lose cheap early wicket for 4. @FreeSouthLondon seems to be fine, drinking from bottle of white.

The ceremonial handing over of the the revolutionary cycling tights to Wolfgang Moneypenny has been made. Viva!

Topless action in the Member’s pavilion at The Oval. It ‘ain’t Wolfgang Moneypenny; it ‘ain’t @AnnaJCowen either.

Hoggard bowling to Mr Ramps at The Oval. Bless. Happy days. Slow going for @surreycricket. 43-1. Wolfgang loving the bat and ball game.

Tea at The Oval. Young Davies has his head down on 45. Ramps staying put and blocking on 10. Off to introduce Wolfgang to the Surrey Museum.

Had pleasant tea interval & pitch invasion of Oval wicket with Wolfgang Moneypenny. He plans to use cricket & break dancing to unite youth.

Back from showing Wolfgang Moneypenny around the Establishment of South London cricket. Cripes. 96-1 @sureycricket. Humid & skies bruising.

Wolfgang has admitted he can’t see the cricket ball wearing his revolutionary shades. He is using the dispersal of pigeons to follow action.

Davies walks for 69. Which all means… @surreycricket partnerhip of Ramps and Khan. Wolfgang fascinated by mercenary stance of Khan. 111-2.

Lordy. Mr Ramps back in the hutch with @surreycricket stuck on Nelson. Not looking good for the ‘rrey. 111-3.

Younis Khan back in pavilion. And possibly back to Pakistan now that his ban lifted. 125-4 @surreycricket. Wolfgang talking about his wives.

Fag end of The Oval afternoon and @surreycricket are burnt. 156-5. @FreeSouthLondon is disassociating himself from County of Surrey.

@surreycricket one more down, 157-6. Batty walks for a duck. Thanks, but no thanks. Follow on looking likely. Damn that Oval wicket.

Stumps. And thank f for that. @surreycricket shocking.