There is something unique about my #hyperlocal patch of South London in that it is fortunate to throw up a higher number of local blogs than probably anywhere else in London. It is no coincidence that a large amount of local online dialogue is spent discussing the failures of @lambeth_council.

Collective contempt breeds community *shhh* co-operation, which is perhaps why this area is so rich in local blogs. But it’s not all about incompetent local authority bureaucracy. Sometimes there is a booze call to arms, and the online becomes the offline.

Which is exactly what happened on Thursday evening at the Wheatsheaf, when the wonderful @AndrewOrange of the Tradescant patch pitched in with the perfect idea of organising an SW8 (ish) Battle of the Blogs in the form of a pub quiz.

Contrary to continued claims from the snipers, this informal network of bloggers has been operating independently over the past few years. Offline acquaintances have been rare. We all tend to cover the same stories coming out of the Rotten Borough, but that is more due to duty than conspiracy.

The Battle of the Blogs served as a brilliant opportunity to put a name to that dodgy twitter profile picture, hit the booze and then laugh at some of the antics of @lambeth_council that we have all been following of late.

I arrived at The Wheatsheaf not really knowing what to expect, but was totally blown away by many of the online names that had come out to compete, and to wish a farewell to @AnnaJCowen and I ahead of the Great Escape.

The scene in the main bar ahead of the quiz was like a Who’s Who of Lambeth activism. There was no representation from @LambethLabour, although to be fair, @imogenwalker had civic Licensing duties. @labourstockwell sent a very kind apology.

It was great to catch up with John Hare once again, whom I spent a charming afternoon with back in May, learning all about the dirty tricks campaign put in place by @LambethLabour over in Herne Hill. With May 6th now behind us, John tried his very best on the night to out me as a Lambeth Green. Close, but no cigar, my friend. Not yet, anyway,

To my great surprise, my fave local Lambeth activist also turned up. I was given the complete rundown of the Battle of Vassall Ward, and only wish now that I was around longer to see this particular #hyperlocal problem be played out in full.

And then just when you think that you have heard it all in the Rotten Borough, I was tipped off about a truly outrageous local story that looks like it will blow up big time. Following, but not participating, in the Lambeth online dialogue via my RSS feeds is going to pass away those long, rural winter evenings.

As for the quiz itself? Well, the #hyperlocal news round compiled by the good @AndrewOrange was testing, and it is with some shame that my non SW8 team ringer, @Darryl1974 did the business for Team Lambeth Shite (although I did pitch in with the answer of “he voted @LambethLabour” to the question: what crime did the last person to be executed at Kennington Gallows commit?)

Overall and Team Lambeth Shite faired slightly better than the inspiration behind the name; the Luscious Lurkers were diligent and asked some probing questions (but didn’t get many answers.) Hold the front page – @StockwellNews ran away with the Battle of the SW8 Blogs winner’s award.

And so a huge thanks to both @AndrewOrange and The Wheatsheaf for accommodating us. @mazlaws, @markvauxhall, @garethwyn and, um, @AnnaJCowen all did Team Lambeth Shite proud as well.

It was fitting that as I left a #hyperlocal pub quiz, I still managed to get lost in walking the short distance back to my SW8 base. Whoops. Even more fitting that the Wheatsheaf hung a picture painted nearby to the Hoe.

There will always be a small part of South London that will be forever Wivenhoe, and in return, I’m sure that there will always be a small part of Wivenhoe that will keep on flying the flag for South London.

I really will miss the great Giovani, Luigi and the lovely, lovely Di Lieto olive bread.

The visit of Pope Benedict XVI to St Peter’s Residence along Meadow Road wasn’t meant to make the headlines. This was an afternoon tea event, tucked away in an otherwise anonymous corner of South London, and hidden away in the official State visit schedule ahead of the Hyde Park hoo ha later in the evening.

The playing down of Mr Pope in my #hyperlocal patch suggested something of a space filler. With a more high profile visit to Wimbledon earlier in the afternoon, and then the huge Hyde Park ticketed event in the evening, cynics (um, the good @SE11_lurker) was spot on in stating that we were hosting a time killing event.

It was almost as if the Vatican had pulled up Google maps, typed in SW19 and W1, and then pinned the Papal tail on my little #hyperlocal patch to pass the time. The location of St Peter’s, SW8 made perfect geographic sense, albeit with some ideological reservations.

Google maps may be great for physical geography, but not so cool on cultural exploration. A short walk down the Harleyford Road, and Mr Pope would have found himself at Vauxhall Cross, the self-centred Gaybourhood of South London.

Whoops.

I personally was rather passive in the whole Papal affair. I’m agnostic but active locally. To stay at home and hoover whilst one of the world’s most influential leaders was passing through my neighbourhood, would have been a waste of an afternoon.

I wandered down Trigon Road shortly before 5pm, quite unsure of what to expect. The road closure signs had been in place all week, but interest in Benny’s afternoon tea break seemed to be limited.

I passed young mother’s carrying shopping bags, kids playing on scooters and even an estate agent trying to temp some tenants into a shoehorn of a flat.

“What’s the neighbourhood like?”

“Oh, you know – apart from Papal visits, nothing special.”

It wasn’t until I reached the Meadow Road junction that I first saw the crowds. Nothing major, but then this was a hyped down #hyperlocal appearance. A rough head count suggested 1,000 max, with a lively crowd of twenty or so protestors, representing the Gaybourhood.

It is rather apt that this hush hush #hyperlocal visit should take place at St Peter’s. Little is known about the Nursing home locally. My only contact with St Peter’s is to pass it on the way to the cricket. The good Sisters within aren’t exactly resting on Test match days, trousering twenty notes a time in pimping out the Good Lord’s car park.

Cripes.

I took up a place in the throng of the two deep crowd, directly opposite the gates to St Peter’s. This was clearly an entry point that I wouldn’t pass the test for. The #hyperlocal online and blogging community was out in force.It seems that I wasn’t alone in putting that Saturday afternoon hoovering on hold.

A sudden rush, and the police convoy speeded past, followed by some very un-Pope-mobile style transport. It was as though Mr Pope was being transported around South London in the back of a rather large hire car.

And that, I thought, was probably that. A quick scroll through my twitter feed, and the good @kennington reported that Kate Hoey was within the sacred walls, being received by the Pope. Keeping in line with the song, the response from Mr Pope of course had to be:

“Who the f***ing hell is Kate Hoey…”

It must have been a laugh-along-a-minute during the short meeting. We were led to believe that Benny was giving a sidesplitting speech to the Sisters all about… death. It’s the way he tells ‘em.

I did consider buggering off back to base and resuming my own private worship of housework. But I stuck it out, and was rewarded with what was a truly unique, magical and simply jaw dropping moment, right on my #hyperlocal doorstep.

A robed up dude emerged from the gates at St Peter’s to deliver a cheeky thumbs up to the crowd. I passed this off as perhaps a sign of the party atmosphere within. Perhaps the water had been turned to wine, and wall-to-wall vomiting had broken out.

But nope – Mr Thumbs Aloft was indicating that one of the most powerful and influential men in the world wanted to have a walkabout, right on my bloody doorstep.

Blimey.

The crowd went crazy, both God Fearers and the guys ‘n girls from the Gaybourhood alike. I was sitting on the fence, quite literally, and simply wanted to take it all in.

Even for an agnostic, it was simply magical. There was a huge surge of emotion in witnessing the power of an old man to inspire my local community. As far as schedule time killers go, this had to be the most remarkable way of filling in a spare half hour in the South London afternoon.

I tried to make sense of this short burst of spirituality, but where to look? Mr Pope’s shoes caught my eye. I may not believe in his right wing nonsense of a message, but he is certainly a snappy dresser.

Sticking with the shoe theme, and it seemed that an Iraqi style shoe throwing protest was about to break out. A singular shoe dropped right in front of me. Turns out it belonged to a poor kid who was simply caught up in all the excitement and emotion.

This is about as rock ‘n roll as my little #hyperlocal patch of South London gets. The appearance of an iconic figure in the late evening SW8 sunshine was inspiring, if not in a religious capacity, then certainly spiritualy.

I have seen the light, I have seen Mr Pope, and yes – I have seen a community celebrating a unique event. The Gaybourhood guys ‘n girls rightly had their grievances, but I simply couldn’t ignore the power that this man has. What a waste for it be channelled into the nonsense of organised religion.

So yeah – for one afternoon only, my #hyperlocal patch of South London became the centre of the universe. I may not believe in creationism, but I am now a confirmed supporter of community cohesion.

Amen to that.

Confused?

A quick re-cap: Having closed as a traditional boozer just over two years ago, Kelly’s was bought by a local Porto businessman with grand plans. The first of Antonio da Silva’s money making schemes was to use the space to open up a clinic. This was rejected by @lambeth_council planning. The exterior neon lighting request can’t have helped.

Then came the non-licensed and illegal Porto car wash. Except that it was the most unsuccessful car wash in all of South London (tip for would be car washers: drinking booze outside your business all day ‘aint great for… business.)

The car wash was closed by @lambeth_council, but it probably wouldn’t have lasted the summer anyway, such was the lack of interest in actually washing any cars.

Da Silva then switched his attention to becoming a landlord. An ambitious planning application was submitted to @lambeth_council to squeeze nine luxury development flats (yeah, right) into the tiny space.

Building on top of the car wash garage was part of the deal, ignoring the obstacle of a grand old tree rather inconveniently blocking the building space. The application was thrown out on the grounds of over-crowding.

Running short on options, da Silva then turned back towards a bar for Kelly’s. Fine – this was the original purpose of the building, although a bonkers 5am licence didn’t exactly go down too well with the local residents.

And so on Wednesday morning, I (and many others) received official notification from the fine Ross Hill, the Licensing Officer @lambeth_council, stating:

“I write further to your recent representation in respect of the above-mentioned application, which was due to be considered by our Licensing Sub-Committee in early September.

I have just received notification from the applicant that they now wish to withdraw their application. The application will not be processed any further, and will not appear at a committee hearing.

I understand that the owners of the premises are now looking to reopen it later in the year, trading within the times permitted under the current licence, which are as follows:

Monday – Wednesday 10:00 – 00:00
Thursday 10:00 – 01:00
Friday & Saturday 10:00 – 02:00
Sunday 12:00 – 00:30″

The generous opening hours still seem to favour the landlord, and not the locals, but they are a damn site improvement on the bonkers 5am proposition. I personally probably won’t oppose the hours, although noise levels will of course need monitoring.

Lessons learnt: It is truly wonderful how the #hyperlocal community around my little patch of South London has managed to work together to overturn such a highly unsocial variation in licence application.

I started off in isolation, first seeing the statutory notices appear on the pub door, and thinking that I would be alone in trying to preserve any sense of community that is left along this corner of the Clap’ham Road.

A knock on the door with my neighbours, a blog post that hooked me up with other concerned locals, communication with the local Safer Neighbourhood Team, interest from the nearby Fentiman Resident’s Association, backing from the Bolney Meadow residents and let’s not forget the HUGE show of support from the very good @janeinlondon / E Hants and Jack the Lad Hopkins.

Here we have a local community united against a landlord chancing his luck with the Licensing Committee. Over forty objections were submitted to the Licensing Committee, as well a petition with double this number of signatures. The applicant was able to view these, a factor which led to the withdrawal of the variation in licence.

It’s such a shame that this may well be one of the final acts that I will be able to carry out around here locally as part of the community. If @AnnaJCowen and I were sticking around, then I would most definitely build upon this local network and work upon other local issues.

And so yeah – you can stick yer bonkers 5am licence somewhere else far away from our local residential community. And please keep the noise down, come the more civilised closing time.

Time gentleman, in more ways than one…

The mysterious CL 21 Speed Ltd, as listed on the Variation in Licence form, didn’t give much away. Likewise for the Southwark SE5 85X postcode. For more of a pointer then you need to look slightly closer to home and the A Toca Cafe, situated along Wandsworth Road, SW8. Mr. Antonio da Silva is listed at Companies House as the current owner, strangely under the business of ‘window cleaning.’

And so it would seem that the plan is to turn Kelly’s into a Porto cafe. I’d be quite supportive of this in principle – custard cream cakes, coffees and sea fish food. I fail to see however why a licence until 5am in the morning is required to provide such a service.

It is accepted that Sunny Stockwell is home to the largest Portuguese community outside of the mother country. We are an inclusive lot around here, working, resting and playing rather well together. I would like to continue to be able to rest at a reasonable hour.

But my #hyperlocal little patch of South London is not a Porto holiday resort. It is a residential area of South London, where locals needs to rest before heading out to work the next day.

Even the Porto enclave of South Lambeth Road doesn’t have any bar with a bonkers 5am licence. My fear is that once Little Porto closes at a respectable hour, the customers will simply stream down Dorset Road and continue to party around my #hyperlocal patch.

This really should be a straightforward common sense decision for the Licensing Committee to make. If the application is to proceed (which is unlikely) then the Committee needs to assess if the lifestyle of locals living nearby will be affected.

The @lambeth_council Licensing Committee is made up of political representation across all three parties. Party politics shouldn’t come into this.

@LambethLabour courted the Porto community ahead of May 6th. It is hoped that this same feeling of respect and understanding is applied to all living within Sunny Stockwell.

A few more details have reached my way, care of the lovely folk at the Stockwell Partnership. Dr Bike, a licensed bar and “a chance to meet your local Councillors” – cripes, who could resist? Best visit the beer tent first…

Stockwell Partnership Presents the Stockwell Festival L & Expo – Celebrating 10 Years!

Saturday 25th September 2010

Larkhall Park, Courland Grove, SW8 2PX

1.00pm – 6.00pm

Stockwell Festival & Expo, produced by Stockwell Partnership in association with Lambeth Council, is an annual highlight of the South London cultural calendar. 2010 marks the 10th anniversary of Stockwell Festival and there’s a great programme of activities promised, many of them FREE. The theme, delivered in partnership with local service providers, local organisations and community groups this year is COHESION, CREATIVIY & WELLBEING.

Event highlights includes:

The Stockwell Festival & Expo Stage with a vibrant local line up including Dance Starz and professional Congolese favourites Grupo Lokito.

Children’s Village with face painting, arts and craft workshops, Punch and Judy shows, magic and circus workshops, interactive drumming workshops with Lambeth Music Service plus the Pineapple Car is back to take you on a hair-raising ride around the park!

Celebrating 10 years of local artists – Art 4 Space invite us to make A Wish For Stockwell – watch out for the giant birthday cake.

Later in the afternoon, Lady Pineapple leads the Pineapple Parade around the park with an array of pineapple puppets, masks and hats culminating in a performance on the main stage.

Well Being Zone: Trust Art invite you to join them for The Big Tea – pull up a chair, have a brew and a slice of yummy cake. NHS Lambeth and Communities for Health will be offering health checks and sharing information about local services. Or why not pamper yourself with a 30 minute massage or reflexology treatment; local therapists are on hand to treat you.

Peace Zone: As part of Peace Week, come and meet your local safer neighbourhood teams, their police dogs and horses and find out information about local safety.

Stockwell EXPOsed – find out what’s available on your local doorstep as organisations and Council services offer a one stop shop of information. There’s a chance to meet your local councillors [um, thanks but no thanks] and put your burning questions to them or simply browse around the many arts and craft stalls selling their wares.

Dr Bike – Get your bike fixed for FREE! London Sustainable transport offer advice and mechanical know how. Friends of Larkhall Park showcase the latest park developments.

Caterers and bar – taste the flavours of Stockwell from the spice of the Caribbean and the heat of a hot dog to the chilling delight of a whippy ice-cream or a nice cold beer – you’ll not be hungry or thirsty that’s for sure!

If you’d like to get involved, have a stall or volunteer please contact Anna or call 07973 711173.

Oh Lordy.

I think we’re all in agreement that the nasty ConDem cuts need fighting, but to then turn this situation around into a very clumsy piece of local electioneering (um when there’s no election on the horizon) seems to somewhat miss the point.

When times are tight, I want to hear words from a leader on how we can improve the lives of those around us, and not yet another obsessive piece trying to score political points. I want to know how our local authority is going to stand up and fight the ConDem cuts, and not read another blame shifting piece of twaddle, ever keen to demonise the opposition with the obsession that has come to characterise Nu Labour within the Rotten Borough.

The public purse is tight, and we need new ways of working together. This almost happened for about five minutes at the last full council meeting. The joint motion between @LambethLabour and @LambethLibdems (Lordy!) just about held in place, until both sides started to point score once again.

But wait! What’s this?

There is a chink in the Nu Labour armour which goes against all previous principles of cross-party co-operation (geddin there!) No surprises that it is taking place at a #hyperlocal level around my little patch of South London.

@cllrstevereed is keen to stress in his rant:

“The unwary support of left-leaning voters saved one Lib Dem seat in each of Oval, Clapham Common and Vassall wards, and three in Bishops [how generous of him!] With the loss of that left-leaning support and the unpopularity of the coalition government as the pain of their cuts becomes more apparent you can see the Lib Dems facing annihilation in Lambeth even assuming their party survives long enough to fight another election.”

Left, Right – careful Comrade, you’ll be spinning around in circles before we even reach election time again. It’s all about the local you see, something that the fine @janeinlondon / E Hants, Jack the Lad Hopkins and Councillor Brown, the lone LibDem, know all about.

Whereas @cllrstevereed is keen to try and force a split in the wards where his Nu Labour machine doesn’t have complete control, the local councillors themselves are simply going about their ward business and working together.

We have the very real threat here in the Oval of opportunists from outside of the borough creating a social nuisance with the proposed bonkers 5am alcohol and live music license for Kelly’s pub along the Claph’ham Road.

The response from the fine @janeinlondon / E Hants has to be rally locals (and LibDems) together, so that the community can resolve the issue collectively. It is this type of co-operation that will succeed, and not some crazy rant trying to bring disharmony within the borough.

Politics will be put aside this weekend as Labour and LibDem councillors will be working alongside locals to build resistance against the license. @cllrstevereed is more than welcome to join us to see how localism can truly work when you put aside your political neuroses.

“There is a real chance their Faustian pact could see the party splinter as the realities of power expose fissures in a party built on the easy opportunism of opposition rather than the realities of taking and defending decisions.”

Having taken ten minutes to digest this text book Nu Labour speak, I’m still not sure if our council leader is talking about his personal pet hate subject, or possibly even looking a little closer to home within his own ranks.

I wouldn’t exactly call it a coordinated campaign, but connections have been made, and a strategy has been put in place. I’ve even been invited by our friends from @lambeth_council to speak at the Licensing Committee, in opposition to the plans.

My first conversation was literally over the garden fence. I spoke to my neighbours for the first time ever. I’m not sure why it has taken so long, but now some common ground has been established, I’m hopeful of continuing good relations. We both agreed that the licence would be an extreme nuisance in our residential area.

Remembering my evening spent mixing with the disparate (but rather nice) bunch that is the Fentiman, Richbourne and Dorset Road Resident’s Association, I contacted the Chair and asked for advice and support.

The good folk of the Bolney Meadow Resident’s Association are also objecting to the licence. Although still along Dorset Road, the Bolney Meadow estate is a five minute walk away from Kelly’s. This shows the strength of opposition against the application.

And then evening all, evening all – it’s only a pledge from the local police to also speak out against the planned licence. The fine folk of the Oval Safer Neighbourhood Team have very real crime and disorder concerns about allowing alcohol to be sold until 5am, in what was up until very recently, still a Police Dispersal Zone.

And then to complete the alliance of friendly locals, we even have cross party support from @LambethLabour and @LambethLibDems – blimey.

The very good @janeinlondon / E Hants has agreed to represent residents at the Licensing Committee. The Lone LibDem, Councillor Brown, is also asking questions with both the Licensing Committee and the Planning Applications Committee, in an attempt to find out if there is any connection between the two recent (and seemingly separate) applications.

So yeah – it’s all been rather rewarding in uniting the local community against the plans for a business outside of the borough to come into our neighbourhood and create a social nuisance. The real reward however will be if the bonkers licence is thrown out, and some proper local and social use can be made of the old Kelly’s building.

An application has been made [PDF] requesting that our friends from @lambeth_council allow a slight change to the current entertainment licence.

Nothing to really concern local residents over – only an alcohol and live music licence from 10am through until 1am Monday to Wednesday, and then a slight extension from 10am to 5am on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.

Deep, deep *sigh*

It is actually rather decent that the landlord has formally gone through the official channels. We have had some trouble here locally of late with an impromptu car wash that appeared at the start of the summer.

The garage at Kelly’s became a makeshift business overnight, with no formal planning application, or consultation with local residents over the change of business use.

Thankfully the very decent @janeinlondon / E Hants was quick on the case, and the car wash has closed down (although the horrid hand made sign, and the Portuguese flag, both still remain in place in what is a Conservation Area.)

The pub itself has been empty, of sorts, for over two years now; officially waiting to be re-developed, unofficially a squat. The current occupiers aren’t really a nuisance, and I would rather have the squat kids tucked up in bed keeping themselves to themselves than a 5am council endorsed entertainment licence.

The current licence extension is all rather confusing. A planning application was made at the start of the summer to convert Kelly’s into luxury flats. Part of the plan was to re-open the bar downstairs.

It is unclear if this highly unsocial 5am application is part of the existing planning application. You would have to think probably not – who the hell would want to buy a luxury flat, knowing that the bar down below has a licence until five in the morning?

Which makes me think that the current owners are trying to squeeze the last drops of income out of the premises with a licence extension until the new building work starts.

I’ve formally objected, and have asked for the thoughts of @janeinlondon, Jack the Lad Hopkins and the lone LibDem, Councillor Brown.

The application comes from a Company Secretary with a Camberwell SE5 8SX address. Coming across the Southwark border with a request for a bonkers 5am entertainment licence in a residential area, is something that hopefully our friends from @lambeth_council will be frowning upon.

Won’t they?

I’ve been hearing good things about the new cafe set up South side of the river. It is run by Charlie and Frank, the two sons of Charlie Boxer, the joint owner of the Italo delicatessen in Bonnington Square.

What is so unique about Brunswick House is that all of your surrounding are for sale. We took a late morning coffee (double shot latte) outside on a beautifully restored mosaic trestle table. The £280 price tag might appear steep, but I know a very good home somewhere on the North Essex coast that would suit the artefact to perfection.

Vauxhall Cross was but a wrought iron gate away from our dining setting. The random styling of the architectural garden somehow managed to drown out all of the hurly bury of the busses and speeding cars passing through the centre of SW8.

With our coffee providing an extra boost, @AnnaJCowen and I set about the task of window shopping for pastures new. We took a leisurely stroll around Lassco, marvelling at the splendour of the period pieces within.

I could happily spend an entire afternoon there, not to mention an annual salary on some of the items for sale. A definite location to return to over the coming weeks, if not for the extra strong coffee, then certainly for the art deco style mosaic garden table.