onionbagblog

“Four more years!” was the rally call coming out of Lambeth Town Hall during the local election count in the early hours of Saturday morning. I didn’t think the local politicos were talking about four more years of Lambeth Life.

Oh Lordy.

So yeah, following the 44 seats and massive 43% share of the vote enjoyed by our friends @LambethLabour, the @LambethLibDems manifesto pledge has been reduced to just that – paper talk to get rid of a ‘newspaper’ that many in the Rotten Borough could well do without.

Now that we are officially out of purdah (were we ever actually in it?) and not surprisingly, Lambeth Life leads with the local elections:

“It was a nail-biting time for many at the town hall, with a swarm of vote counters, politicians, council officers and journalists local bloggers all hotly anticipating the results.”

“Hotly anticipating” the results is stretching it slightly. As soon as the red bundles started to mount up on the counting tables shortly after 4pm, the resumption of the Red Flag flying over Lambeth Town Hall was never in any serious doubt.

But just in case you want to check who to hold to account over the pledges made on the doorstep over the last month, Lambeth Life helpfully adds:

“For the full local results breakdown go to: www.lambeth.gov.uk/elections2010.”

*ahem*

Gotcha!

Speaking of truth and accuracy, post election and we see a return of @cllrstevereed‘s Leader’s Column in Lambeth Life – hurrah!

“There is uncertainty nationally and funding for local services will be tighter, but we will work with the new national government to make sure we win the best possible deal for the people of Lambeth.”

Really?

Looks like the @LambethLabour leader may have a few bridges to build first with the ConDem coalition, before the best possible deal for the people of Lambeth can be put in place.

@cllrstevereed signs off with the optimistic:

“I am determined that we will deliver on the promises we have made.”

Me too, my friend, me too. I am determined to see that the public consultation promised back in February regarding the mutualisation of local government is actually implemented. I look forward to seeing how the doorstep election pledge of “free swimming for every resident” is also rolled out.

But what of the Little People of Lambeth? The Letters page puts forward the case from a local Herne Hill resident, who shares in my observations that the new Brockwell Park junction has left us with a great big bodge job down in SE24:

“While the borough is aiming to encourage greater use of public transport and greener policies, the road works at Herne Hill demonstrate a complete failure to maintain the simple and congenial integration of bus and rail travel which existed earlier.”

The right of reply offered up by Hayden Tuck [ACE name] the Principle Transport Engineer at Lambeth Housing, Regeneration and Environment states:

“The Herne Hill Junction Regeneration scheme is already delivering major benefits including better pedestrian crossing facilities, improved access to Brockwell Park, upgraded provision for cyclists, faster movement of buses through the junction and a much more attractive public environment.”

Blimey.

Where’s the empirical evidence for this, Mr Tuck? My analysis of the bodged Brockwell Park junction, on a busy Saturday morning, suggests the exact opposite of this observation.

Sticking with the Letters page, and it is a return to that old South London favourite that refuses to be silenced within the Rotten Borough:

Streatham Hub.

Oh Lordy…

Sally Knocker [ACE name #2] um, knocks the knockers that say NO! to a temporary ice rink being dumped on the green land of Streatham Common:

“Just when we thought a solution might be in sight for a temporary ice rink on the common in order for the much awaited new Streatham Hub to progress, it looks like a small but vociferous group might thwart the temporary planning application.”

Fair point, but the New South London Politics (get you) that has seen the formation of the Hands Off Our Common group is pretty much a Who’s Who of resident interest groups in Streatham.

“Whilst no one would want to permanently reduce green space (which obviously a temporary planning approval would not allow in any case), it seems a shame that those who protest do not realise that an even more precious community resource could well be lost. The Ice Rink provides enormous joy even in its current neglected state.”

Overlooking the subjective analysis that an ice rink is “more precious” than a historic piece of public land, Mss Knocker doesn’t address the local concerns that the temporary may become the permanent.

Tesco hasn’t exactly got a tremendous track record down in SW16 of telling the locals the truth. Failing to send a representative to the Hub meeting is hardly the sign of a constructive, local partnership. The power balance in the deal remains with the multi-national. Tesco can walk away from the scheme at any period in the next two years, leaving a bulldozed old barn of a rink, and a temporary pad on the Common, that then becomes permanent.

But anyway – I’m not alone in such an underhand analysis of how the Hub deal may develop over the coming months. @CllrMarkBennett, the local Streatham South @LambethLabour Councillor, and @cllrstevereed, both told me at the election count in the early hours of Saturday morning that “other options” are now being explored by cabinet for the location of the temporary rink.

Phew.

p7. in Lambeth Life and my heart (and foot) was in my mouth when I read
The headline:

New Twist for Classic Game…

“Young people on Lambeth’s peer education scheme have come up with a new version of a popular board game to help teach others about sexual health.”

Eeek!

Sexual health? Teenagers? Twister?

Surely not…

“The team have developed a giant version of snakes and ladders that they will be taking into secondary schools around the borough.”

Ignoring the schoolboy humour about giant snakes in a sexual health game, and the project does seem to be addressing a key issue for young people in an imaginative way. I wish them well.

The Eco Matters feature on p.10 address the farce that is the Cycle Superhighway that is being rolled out across the borough. Essentially a scheme championed by Boris, the aptly coloured blue carpet approach to bicycling has been badly conceived.

Any colour blind bicyclist could be forgiven in not noticing any difference in the provision for cycle safety. The Cycle Super Highway is simply a painting of the existing (and inefficient) cycle lanes blue.

Job well done, Boris.

The Clap’ham Road has already rolled out (incomplete) stretches of the blue carpet, with a further stop / start stretch also in place heading up Larkhall Rise. Urban Cyclist has highlighted the folly that is spending a small fortune out of the transport budget on a scheme that still fails to address the fundamental issue of crap car drivers.

And finally…

The Lambeth Crossword on p18. had me stumped at the first hurdle:

1. Across – They’re simply revolting, six letters.

I don’t think it started with an L and ends in an R, but you never know…

That’s Life!

And so as Civil War looms around the rest of the country, no real surprises in Lambeth as the results for the general election were declared. Congratulations to Kate Hoey for (surprise, surprise) being returned to Westminster via Vauxhall, and well done @ChukaUmunna for winning what has been a jolly decent campaign in Streatham.

Policies aside (and I *really* tried not to ponder some of the bonkers proposals whilst at the ballot box,) and the most promising after thought to come out of Vauxhall is the half decent 57.7% voter turnout.

This favours rather well when compared the dire 46% back in 2005. It shows that the majority of voters in Vauxhall take an active interest in local democracy, even if that means returning the same MP for over two decades.

Of course the downside of democracy is that pictures of funny men waving silly flags also get be published during the campaign. The self-proclaimed “intelligent” Tory Boy, Glyn Chambers, polled an impressive 9,301 votes.

Vauxhall is an up and coming affluent area, I tell you…

Green Joseph Healy polled a respectable 708 votes. I’m surprised that Anticapitalist PPC @VoteDrinkall only managed 109 votes, in what has been a very vocal (and decent) online campaign.

As for Daniel Lambert and the Socialist whatever party? Slightly higher with 143 votes, but the traditional Left rally call of “Splitters!” is probably coming out of the hardcore of South London right now.

Over in Streatham and it was a win win situation for the electorate. Yer man Chuka and @Chris4Streatham, his LibDem rival both would have made for strong constituency MP’s.

20,037 people voted for Chuka, with Chris coming in a close second with 16,778 votes. A turnout of 62.8% of the electorate is very impressive for what has been a constituency that has had to suffer a complacent MP for the past eighteen years. Pity the poor tenants of Lambeth Living.

The future is looking good for the fine folk of SW16 – build the Hub and hold Tesco to account.

The 6am declaration of the Lambeth vote shows just how high the voter turnout has been. Here’s hoping that participation in the local council elections is just as positive.

Don’t expect talk to turn towards a @LambethLabour / @LambethLibDems coalition.

Oh Lordy…

Here’s an interesting pre-election night story coming out of South London as we prepare to select Parliamentary candidates who are going to be directly accountable to us (yeah, right…) for the next four or five years (or even four or five months – cripes.)

The results have been counted, and the good people at @democlub have published the #hyperlocal answers to the #hyperlocal issues that were raised by @democlub activists back in February. I was at the Kennington meeting of @democlub, and helped to formulate the questions that I wanted answering from my future MP.

The rationale for selecting a Westminster MP seems to have changed since that miserable South London evening sheltering from the SE11 rain in a Kennington boozer. The Leader’s Debate has made the general election a beauty contest, and an old woman in Rochdale who went out to buy a loaf of bread has changed the world.

But back in my little patch of South London, and the key issues for me remain the same: housing, leisure, cycling and the local economy. It is with these thoughts in mind that the South London branch of @democlub came up with ten questions to put forward to the PPC”s.

Six of the nine PPC’s for Vauxhall responded to @democlub. I wouldn’t seriously suggest that your voting decision is in any way altered by the failure of Jose Navarro (English Democrats Party), Larna Martin (Christian Party – Proclaiming Christ’s Lordship) or even Tory Boy Glyn Chambers to bypass @democlub.

But then again, if they can’t be arsed to answer a few simple online questions, then I can’t be bothered to put a cross next to their name.

But anyway – what of the issues?

Daniel Lambert of the Socialist whatever party is strangely “neutral” on the question of:

“The council should commit to running their own leisure services as all three swimming pools in Lambeth are operated by third parties and are closed or under limited operation.”

Kate Hoey agrees with the statement, which is not surprising seeing as though the current Labour MP has given @LambethLabour something of a rough ride over the meltdown of leisure in the Rotten Borough.

Green Joseph Healy strongly agrees with the statement, as does @VoteDrinkall, showing that yes, both Left candidates have a good grasp of the local agenda and the problems that Lambeth leisure users have had to suffer over the past six months.

At the risk of writing a Labour party love in, Hoey also comes out fighting in answer to the question of:

“Extra public money should be spent on more safe cycle storage in the neighbourhood.”

In what seems like a complete reversal on the Vauxhall MP’s previous “lycra lout” stance, Hoey seems to have found a new cycling agenda. Or maybe even votes in embracing a cycling agenda.

Either way – well done Kate for putting your name next to such a progressive idea for our constituency.

Other statements that the candidates are asked to rate include:

“The 17% raise in Lambeth council tenants rent is not justified.”

“Extra public money should be spent on an increased provision of social housing.”

“The deadline for the Elephant and Castle / Aylesbury Estate redevelopment needs to be established.”

“Driving a car in South London should be more expensive.”

“The expansion of the Brixton pound concept should be encouraged.”

The answers are no substitute for a sustained, local debate, but they do at least give an overall indication as to what type of ideology we are being asked to vote upon in the next twenty-four hours.

The mostly “neutral” response from the Socialist whatever candidate draws a similar response from me, in terms of my commitment to endorse him as my next MP.

The @democlub exercise is not so clear-cut in the neighbouring Vauxhall constituency of Streatham. With the big guns (and Gordo) being rolled out in SW16 over the past few days, make no mistake – Streatham has now become a key national political battleground.

Which makes it all the more disappointing that Labour’s @ChukaUmunna hasn’t answered any of the questions asked of him by @democlub. The Guardian endorsed online initiative has found nationally that it is the Tories who aren’t taking part in the exercise. Only 6% of Dave’s Tory toffs decided to reply to @democlub.

Buy why has the Streatham PPC managed a very decent online campaign locally, yet hasn’t answered the simple questions that his LibDem rival, @Chris4Streatham has kindly offered his opinion on?

The Streatham question (a bit like the West Lothian question…) asking:

“The Streatham Hub is, on balance, a good thing for the area,”

…plus the supplementary Streatham Question of:

“Tesco must be closely monitored during the Streatham hub development,”

…really should be the bread and butter for Chuka and his SW16 campaign. Chuka has been incredibly approachable offline, happy to talk to anyone about any issue. He passionately backs the cause of Lambeth leisure users. It would have been decent though to have this data online, and on record for all to see.

Causing slightly more embarrassment for the Labour PPC may have been the statement:

“There is a conflict of interest in having the local MP as the Chair of Lambeth’s Housing company Lambeth Living.”

Ouch.

So has @democlub been a decent exercise in local democracy? Maybe not so much in terms of the actual responses given, but it has been an interesting exercise in understanding which candidates are actually committed to putting their name by specific policies.

The real benefit will not be seen until the next Parliament starts to mature. It is only then that we can go back to the data, and truly hold our local representatives accountable.

Perhaps this is why Labour’s @ChukaUmunna hasn’t participated? Let us not forget that it was a local @LambethLabour candidate that asked me back in February:

“What mandate do you and @democlub have for criticising elected officials?”

*every* mandate, my friend, especially so when candidates don’t have the decency to put their name to their polices as part of a national campaign that has been rolled out in collaboration with The Guardian.

Another day, another @LambethLabour leisure pledge as polling time approaches. If it’s Tuesday, then it must be time to roll out the unworkable vote winner of:

“Free swimming for everyone.”

But yep – that’s exactly what @cllrstevereed has done in the latest rally call to keep the Red Flag (oh, stop it!) flying from the roof of Lambeth Town Hall:

“Our manifesto is full of positive ideas and commitments you can hold us to …a major expansion of sport and leisure facilities with four new pools and free swimming for everyone.”

I’m going to treat the four new pools pledge with the folly that such a false promise deserves. First of all, are we talking about “four new pools” per se, as the exact linguistic interpretation suggests?

Or are we talking about re-opening Streatham and Clap’ham – two pools that have been closed under the @LambethLabour watch – and then opening two further more pools?

Overlooking the blind faith in two new pools being built in West Norwood and Waterloo by the time local politicians start to get friendly with the Little People once again in four years time, then surly this leaves us with NO new pools being opened, but simply the closed two pools coming back into public use.

Moving on…

@AnnaJCowen will be rather pleased once polling day is over. It will mean that the letter from @janeinlondon / East Hampshire, that makes the exact same word for word pledge of “free swimming for everyone,” can be removed from its current place of beside the front door.

We’ve been eagerly awaiting the Oval #labourdoorstep team since the misleading letter was first posted. I want @janeinlondon / East Hampshire to look me in the eye (oooh…) and confirm that if I vote for her on May 6th (Oval, not East Hampshire,) then I will get free swimming at Brixton Rec come Friday morning. This is the implication of the twaddle that has been landing through the letterboxes in Lambeth.

I’ve already made enquiries with the very decent folk at Greenwich Leisure Limited about the management of “free swimming for everyone,” and the effect that it will have on the pimped out John Lewis style provider.

“Know nothing about it, mate,” has been the answer coming out of my man from GLL.

“Ah, but would your current contract with @lambeth_council be able to support the pledge to provide free swimming for everyone,” I asked?

“Um, Probably not. Money aside, there’s not exactly a lot of pools open in Lambeth right now,” continued the very nice man from GLL.

And so it’s a chicken and egg / free swimming and four new pools scenario in the Rotten Borough. Which came first? Free swimming or the four new pools?

Or perhaps *shhh* neither?

Nah…

That would just be *too* politically clever from our friends @LambethLabour.

Plans for a Bank Holiday booze session were put on hold, with news coming my way that BIG politics was heading over to my little patch of South London. Having chased down Dave in vein around Kennington, and then slept through Gordo’s Brixton Hill blink and you’ll miss it church visit the day before, the Boy Clegg was Streatham bound on Bank Holiday Monday.

Blimey.

This has been something of an arse of a stage-managed election campaign. Fear of the Little People has kept the Little People away. One word out of context, and that carefully handled PR campaign comes crashing down all around you.

Which is why I like to keep it local. Doorstepping a local Councillor in the kitchen of a community hall, and then locking the door until you have got the answers out of him, is the way that our politicians, both local and national, need to be held to account.

Dave and his Bullingdon toffs aligned themselves last week with some bonkers right wing free market meets Bible Bashers event in SE11. Meanwhile yer Big Man Gordo locked the church doors in Brixton Hill, along with a congregation you can count on your left hand. Or even right hand, as the case must be with Nu Labour.

Not so the LibDems.

Ah, the Love Me I’m a Liberal Lot. You just gotta, um, love ‘em. I think.

Cripes.

So yeah, news broke on twitter over the weekend that the Boy Clegg was coming my way. It was an open invite, and an opportunity for the Little People to come and see what the Messiah nonsense was all about. Attendance and first hand debate has to be better than accepting the twaddle that has been coming out of the mainstream media since that epochal first Leader’s Debate.

There was a sense that you could almost smell the power (behave) at the Palace Community Centre just off Christchurch Road on Monday morning. You could certainly smell the booze from some old boy who was taking the ‘refreshing’ approach of the LibDem agenda perhaps slightly too far left of centre.

The Nu Labour boys were also out in force. General elections aren’t won by the size of your placard. If that were the case, then you may as well reduce the whole farce down to a willy measuring competition. There were some big dicks loitering around the mean streets of SW2 as we awaited the arrival of the Messiah.

I welcomed the appearance of our friends from @LambethLabour, and encouraged some local political debate with a self-proclaimed “Nu Labour activist.”

“Do you support the policy of the right wing Nu Labour cabinet in Lambeth to build a temporary ice rink on Streatham Common,” I asked the activist, ever keen to keep it the #hyperlocal.

The smell of booze from the Brixton old boy suddenly became a smell of fear.

“I’m not that familiar with the specifics of what you are talking about,” came the response. Which is a perfectly fine Nu Labour style of argument for dealing with the Little People. Deny all knowledge and grin for Gordo. The activist had been trained well in the political skills of inactivity.

She did lead me however to a local Labour candidate who was also awaiting the arrival of the Messiah by making rather a lot of over-excitable noise. In all the excitement, our friend from @LambethLabour forgot to give me his name.

No worries. I pressed him on the issue of the temporary rink on the Common, a debate that has divided the local community, and all through the making of @LambethLabour bending over backwards to accommodate a multi-national superstore.

“Ah, but @ChukaUmunna is AGAINST the plans for the rink,” came the response.

And yourself, um, un-named Sir? If you were elected to @lambeth_council, would you too take the principled position that is allowed by an (as yet) unelected PPC, or would you roll over and tickle the underbelly of @cllrstevereed?

Our @LambethLabour friend took this opportunity to get even more excitable, and waved his big banner around at the LibDems, without answering my question.

Like I said – there was a lot of big dicks around SW2 on Monday morning.

But anyway – about that yellow and orange Messiah…

We waited, waited, and waited for Saint Nick to show up in Streatham. A religious themed Gospel band kept us entertained and amused. I prefer to think that religion and politics don’t make the best of bedfellows. I almost took to the stage though for some good ‘ol fashioned South London moonstompin’ when the Gospel kids broke into a verse of Monkey Man.

Ruuuuude!!!! Boi!!!!!

It was around about this time when the slick, election machine of the political party became slightly chaotic. Labour placards jostled with LibDem placards. The Tories were nowhere in sight (which is a bit weird, seeing as though @ChukaUmunna reckons that only the Tories can topple him in Streatham.)

All that Gospel; all that political hot air. I needed a breather ahead of the arrival of the Messiah (still stuck in Lewisham, was the tweet that dropped from the good @Darryl1974.)

My 3G signal was crap inside the community centre. I had content waiting to escape from my iPhone and I knew just the man who was able to free me from the restraints of the political rally.

“Wolfgang!!!!!” I shouted, having spotted revolutionary leader Wolfgang Moneypenny, spokesperson for @FreeSouthLondon, standing outside the Palace Community Centre.

For some reason, the good LibDem folk didn’t think Wolfgang was part of the community, and left the poor chap loitering outside. What happened next I take full responsibility for, and make no apologies for acting in the dark art of political spin behind the scenes.

“Wolfgang, my fine chap,” I said. “You need to be over there…”

I thrust the placard and platitudes of @FreeSouthLondon straight into the throng of the mainstream media press corp. The snappers from Her Majesty’s Popular Prints lapped up the South London revolutionary.

F*** me, we’ve created a monster, I pondered, as the political agenda switched from the Clegg bounce to the Wolfgang limp. I look forward to the front pages of Her Majesty’s P0opular Prints with some interest come Tuesday morning.

I gave the nod and the wink to the LibDem doorman, leaving Wolfgang stuck outside (actually, that’s not quite true – @LambethLibDems leader Councillor Lumsden told the doorman “he’s one of us” (ooh – get you!) as I was ushered back in. I haven’t been so offended since @AnnaJCowen outed me as a closet Notts County fan.)

Back indoors and Floella Benjamin (blimey!) was keeping the crowd happy. If you can portray Humpty Dumpty as the life and soul of the party for half an hour on kiddies TV, then whipping up a storm with the Love Me I’m a Liberal lot has to be an easy gig.

And then finally, finally…

“The great man is upon us!”

Nope, Wolfgang Moneypenny wasn’t in the building, but the Boy Clegg was back in town, alongside Streatham PPC @Chris4Streatham. It was like a Biblical moment (seriously) as the Messiah parted the Great Red Sea of SW2 as he strode through the masses.

There’s a mixed up local political metaphor in there somewhere. Of course the sea may even have been Green, but this most certainly wasn’t a Blue sky day.

After a *shhh* overcast South London morning, the sun finally broke through, just as the Boy Clegg took to the Streatham stage. I’m not sure if the sun was shining upon the Messiah, or out of his backside.

But yep – Nick’s here…

The speech itself was uplifting, positive, and slightly too focussed on the national agenda for my liking. This is the man who has genuine ambitions to be the next Prime Minister, and so I think he is forgiven.

Education was a key focus, as well as criticism of the arrogance of the Tories. This speaks volumes as to the feeling around the Streatham LibDem camp, that the Tories are attacked rather than Nu Labour.

@Chris4Streatham spoke next, thanking the hard working local constituency members, and encouraging more work in the remaining days ahead.

Sadly there wasn’t any time for an audience Q & A. I wanted to ask about the increasing power of big business in our local communities, and how the LibDems can help us, as we try and take back control of leisure in Lambeth, rather than place all power in the hands of a multi-national superstore.

I was also keen to ask about the fear of the Tory bogeyman, a claim that has been put out by @ChukaUmunna around Streatham in recent weeks.

But nope – all the attention was now with the big boys from mainstream media land. Quentin Letts was sucking a lemon at the back of the hall, and The Guardian’s Jonathan Freedland had been dispatched to deepest South London, showing his paper’s new found love for the Love Me I’m a Liberal lot.

I took the debate outside, and was thrilled to find the relative sanity of the South London #hyperlocal blogging community around me. @BrixtonBlog shared the same amusement as me over Monkey Man; @StreathamPulse was pleased to see that a gold dust story had landed right in the centre of his #hyperlocal news patch.

@SthLondonPress?

Come in @SthLondonPress?

Oh, as you are…

Wolfgang Moneypenny meanwhile was too busy trying to cop off with the delightful Mrs Clegg, and telling the lovely Miriam in Spanish that: “You are very, very beautiful.”

The cheeky South London scoundrel.

A lone heckler during the LibDem leader’s speech was later seen boarding the local battle bus of Tory PPC Rahoul Bhansali – ah… so *that’s* how local politics works.

I caught up with Caroline Pidgeon, my Vauxhall PPC, and asked her how she thought the event, and her campaign had both gone:

Wolfgang then gate crashed the conversation and I had the pleasure of introducing Caroline to a genuinely revolutionary South London fighting figure. Which must be a first, considering that Caroline is up against the complacent Kate Hoey.

Battle bus boarded for the Kingmaker to be, and @Chris4Streatham kindly offered me his thoughts as the banners were put away and Streatham returned to some sense of normality:

The Streatham constituency is still too close to call. The only certainty is that despite what @LambethLabour is saying about the fear of the Tory bogeyman, either @ChukaUmunna or @Chris4Streatham will be elected to Westminster at some time around 3:30am on Friday morning.

Having lost @AnnaJCowen in all the excitement of the political scrum, we rendez vouzed to exchange tales of political intrigue. The poor girl ‘aint much of a political beast, but she was thrilled to see Anthony H Wilson standing next to her during the speeches.

Ah – we need have a conversation together later, my dear…

And so that is how national politics works on a #hyperlocal patch. You plan, you stage-manage, and yet some form of anarchy still manages to break out.

There’s hope yet for the sleeping beast that is South London democracy.

This is a piss take, right?

“One of the key campaign issues in Lambeth has been the regeneration of the borough and the future of our pools and other leisure facilities. Many local residents will be heading to the ballot box on May 6th with memories of LibDem inaction as they watched Streatham Leisure Centre crumble without any secure plans to replace it and will recall their attempts to sell Brixton Rec and Clapham swimming pool to property developers when they ran the council with Tory support.”

The re-writing of the leisure agenda in the past four years by our friends from @LambethLabour is almost on par with the dodgy data that has cropped up over in the Herne Hill election leaflets.

To use Nu Labour language, the complete meltdown of leisure in Lambeth is hardly a case of fixing the ceiling whilst the sun was shining. If that were so, the closure of Streatham Leisure Centre last year would never have happened. The roof fell in on the good people of SW16 – quite literally.

Clap’ham Pool meanwhile *has* been sold to a property developer, but not under the @LambethLibDems watch, but by the right wing @LambethLabour cabinet.

It is hypocrisy of the highest order to claim otherwise, when you consider that it was the Cathedral Group that closed Clap’ham with only two weeks notice on New Year’s Eve, having finally secured the funds to build private property on council owned land.

The twaddle continues with a quote from @cllrstevereed, stating:

“A vote for them [LibDems] threatens this hard-won progress as their infuriating idleness saw leisure facilities languish when they were in charge.”

*speechless*

Sort of…

Streatham closed, Clap’ham closed and Brixton barely open since January. I note that the manifesto pledge of: “free swimming for every resident” is now no longer repeated in the @LambethLabour leisure literature.

No worries – if we wake up with a red flag flying over Lambeth Town Hall towards the end of next week, I’ll be first in the queue at the Rec, clutching the @LambethLabour manifesto and demanding my free dip in the kiddie piss pool.

Perhaps the only positive side to come out of the whole Streatham Hub fiasco has been @LambethLabour’s ability to unite the local community. Sustainable Streatham, Streatham Society, Streatham Festival, Friends of Streatham Common, the Open Spaces Society, and Streatham Action – all have joined forces to fight the plan to place the temporary ice rink slap bang in the middle of Streatham Common.

The Streatham and Clap’ham projects may have progressed in recent weeks (funny that…) but let it not be forgotten that it is private capital that is now propping up leisure under @LambethLabour.

Pimping out your key community assets to big business, and then dressing it up as a cooperative council, seems like a one-way relationship to me. No public consultation (as promised) and no right of reply from the elected officials, should the free market throw a wobbler once again.

Hey hoe – sling out a press release and simply re-write leisure history within the Rotten Borough.

Shameless.

And so with all the local manifestos from the three mainstream political parties in Lambeth now analysed, what is the overall choice that is available to the electorate in South London in just under two weeks time? Four more years of @LambethLabour arrogance, a leap into the great unknown with @LambethLibDems, or even compulsory cycle training for all motorists, as argued by Lambeth Conservatives?

Cripes.

*This overview of the local political landscape was first published via Londonist*

The London Borough of Lambeth has thankfully moved on since the Loony Left days of refusing to set a rate. The political breeding ground that gave us Ken Livingstone in Norwood, plus John Major walking the mean streets of Brixton, is still very much a Petri dish for national political thought and ideas.

The local elections on May 6th are being used by the national Labour party to gauge the public reaction to the much-mooted John Lewis model of local government. The right of centre Labour led Lambeth Council decided to announce the mutualisation of local politics just two moths ahead of the local elections, gaining a Guardian front-page piece in the process.

This is a key election issue, both on the ground in Lambeth, as well within wider political discourse. Essentially it allows local people to run local services, taking away the financial burden from Council Tax payers. Critics argue that it also removes the democratic accountability under which we entrust our politicians with via the ballot box.

Lambeth Labour promised a consultation with residents throughout March. Come April, and there is still no sign within the borough that this has been rolled out. A Freedom of Information request asking what the savings have been to the public purse in a John Lewis style managed housing block, revealed that no savings have been made.

Housing is also a key issue in Lambeth for campaigning local politicians. The revelation that out of the entire count of empty homes in London, one in five are located in Lambeth, has shocked many locals who are stuck on the housing waiting list. The incoming head of Lambeth Living, the ultra Blairite Keith Hill MP, will be a busy man when he steps into his new role on May 7th.

The housing policy in Lambeth has been masked however by the complete meltdown of Leisure. Streatham Leisure Centre was closed because the Council couldn’t afford to pay for essential repairs. A private developer closed Clapham a few months later. The only other pool in the borough, Brixton Rec, introduced a 7am – 9am only public swimming session, whilst a refurbishment to the changing rooms took place, less than two years after a £2.7m similar project.

But it’s all about events dear boy, events. The Labour group finally managed to seal a deal with Tesco in Streatham, after almost a decade of political and corporate dithering. Just weeks ahead of the local elections, Tesco has been give planning permission for a new superstore, in return for re-building the leisure facilities.

Likewise in Clapham, the bulldozers have moved in this month to build a (reduced size) pool, plus of course the private residential property on council land as the corporate paymaster payback.

Housing, leisure and Petri dish politics aside, the Labour group in Lambeth have managed to freeze Council Tax for the past two years. This compares to the massive 40% hike by the LibDems when they held power four years ago. Not surprisingly, Lambeth Labour leads heavily with this in its election manifesto. One would imagine that the other twenty-four local authorities that have also frozen Council Tax in London ahead of May 6th are also keen to talk about this on the doorsteps.

The high profile, twittering @mayoroflambeth has been a genuine success story in the past twelve months. Taking a sabbatical from his Labour party duties in the Clapham Town ward, Councillor Wellbelove has worked wonders in trying to unite the borough. The introduction of a Youth Mayor of Lambeth is also to be applauded. Over 10,000 Lambeth youngsters took part in the democratic process to elect Darren Tenkorang last month.

The challenge for the LibDems in Lambeth is to not only come up with a credible alternative to the John Lewis form of government, but also to actually get their message heard. Cuts in the public sector are the driving force for the Petri dish experiment in Lambeth. Whoever takes control of the borough will need to make massive savings.

It is unclear if the LibDems have any grand plans to manage the “financial tsunami” that has been spoken of, or simply if they are poor at communicating their ideas to the public. The slogan of “only the LibDems can beat Labour” is still rolled out, conveniently overlooking the fact that the LibDems in Lambeth will actually need the support of the Tories to take back power in the borough.

Which brings up nicely to the Lambeth Conservatives. It is very difficult to have any feelings either way to the blue rinse mob in the borough. The Bullingdon toffs of Dave and his Notting Hill set are a far cry from the leafy Lambeth Tory stronghold of Norwood and West Dulwich.

Lambeth Conservatives are equally as nice as they are wet. They are almost universally liked, probably safe in the knowledge that they will never gain any real political power in the borough.

The Greens in Lambeth are defending their current seat held in the Herne Hill ward, as well as targeting Brixton Hill as a possible coup. Toppling council leader Steve Reed in his own backyard would be a significant scalp.

Elsewhere in the borough and The Oval ward looks like being a key battleground. Labour have set their sights on the current three LibDem seats. The policy of putting forward a candidate who lives outside of the ward, not to mention simultaneously having serious Westminster ambitions down in the East Hampshire constituency, is sending out a confused message to locals at The Oval.

Campaigning by all parties is now in full flow. Labour is dominating the agenda, thanks to high profile online activities, using twitter, Facebook and youtube. Lambeth Labour has posted some incredibly vile and vulgar videos to youtube leading many sympathetic voters to look elsewhere come Election Day.

Lambeth Life, the council funded newspaper, is seen by many in the borough as simply being the mouthpiece of the ruling Labour Group. The continuation of the council newspaper has also become a major election issue in itself. The Labour group is currently involved in a stand off with the South London Press. This has become highly personal, with the chief SLP reporter for Lambeth having been cautioned by police for the common assault of the Lambeth cabinet member for Community and Safety.

The council has pulled all statutory local authority advertising from the local paper, conveniently placing it in Lambeth Life instead. The justification is that the SLP carries ‘escort ads,’ something that doesn’t sit too well with a local authority that has put in place a prostitution strategy.

The end result is a hostile local newspaper to council reporting, and the Chief Reporter now having a ban on entering Lambeth Town Hall. Democracy and accountability have been lost somewhere in between.

The national picture in Lambeth is not nearly as exciting as the local picture. Kate Tally Hoey is a shoe in for Vauxhall, despite a risible 46% turn out by the electorate back in 2005. Streatham is slightly more interesting. The youthful Chuka Umunna is taking over from Keith Hill as the Labour PPC. With some truly preposterous expectations placed upon Chuka (“A Barack Obama for Britain,”) the Streatham boy is up against Chris Nicholson for the LibDems.

The departing Streatham MP, Keith Hill, cowardly used his Parliamentary privilege to make allegations about the funding of Nicholson’s campaign. The LibDem has been transparent in his funding; yet still the local Labour group continue to repeat the allegations.

To his credit, Umunna has not made any political capital out of the issue. He has actually made efforts to distance himself from the right wing members of his own local Labour party. Despite the clean-cut, vibrant youthful image, Umunna is actually a left of centre Labour candidate – something of a rarity in Lambeth.

And so the choice for Lambeth voters on May 6th is to sign up for participation in a Petri dish style of local government under an ultra right wing Labour administration, or leave it to chance with the unknown policies of the LibDems.

Tally Hoey will be returned to Westminster via Vauxhall, whilst Streatham voters have the choice of a high profile left wing rising star, or a credible LibDem who is not afraid to fight back.

Battle lines have been drawn, let the voters decide…