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Claims of yet more cheating by the Pakistani cricket team and then a visit by the Pope – just another normal twenty-four hours in my #hyperlocal patch of South London then.

The visit of Pope Benedict XVI to St Peter’s Residence along Meadow Road wasn’t meant to make the headlines. This was an afternoon tea event, tucked away in an otherwise anonymous corner of South London, and hidden away in the official State visit schedule ahead of the Hyde Park hoo ha later in the evening.

The playing down of Mr Pope in my #hyperlocal patch suggested something of a space filler. With a more high profile visit to Wimbledon earlier in the afternoon, and then the huge Hyde Park ticketed event in the evening, cynics (um, the good @SE11_lurker) was spot on in stating that we were hosting a time killing event.

It was almost as if the Vatican had pulled up Google maps, typed in SW19 and W1, and then pinned the Papal tail on my little #hyperlocal patch to pass the time. The location of St Peter’s, SW8 made perfect geographic sense, albeit with some ideological reservations.

Google maps may be great for physical geography, but not so cool on cultural exploration. A short walk down the Harleyford Road, and Mr Pope would have found himself at Vauxhall Cross, the self-centred Gaybourhood of South London.

Whoops.

I personally was rather passive in the whole Papal affair. I’m agnostic but active locally. To stay at home and hoover whilst one of the world’s most influential leaders was passing through my neighbourhood, would have been a waste of an afternoon.

I wandered down Trigon Road shortly before 5pm, quite unsure of what to expect. The road closure signs had been in place all week, but interest in Benny’s afternoon tea break seemed to be limited.

I passed young mother’s carrying shopping bags, kids playing on scooters and even an estate agent trying to temp some tenants into a shoehorn of a flat.

“What’s the neighbourhood like?”

“Oh, you know – apart from Papal visits, nothing special.”

It wasn’t until I reached the Meadow Road junction that I first saw the crowds. Nothing major, but then this was a hyped down #hyperlocal appearance. A rough head count suggested 1,000 max, with a lively crowd of twenty or so protestors, representing the Gaybourhood.

It is rather apt that this hush hush #hyperlocal visit should take place at St Peter’s. Little is known about the Nursing home locally. My only contact with St Peter’s is to pass it on the way to the cricket. The good Sisters within aren’t exactly resting on Test match days, trousering twenty notes a time in pimping out the Good Lord’s car park.

Cripes.

I took up a place in the throng of the two deep crowd, directly opposite the gates to St Peter’s. This was clearly an entry point that I wouldn’t pass the test for. The #hyperlocal online and blogging community was out in force.It seems that I wasn’t alone in putting that Saturday afternoon hoovering on hold.

A sudden rush, and the police convoy speeded past, followed by some very un-Pope-mobile style transport. It was as though Mr Pope was being transported around South London in the back of a rather large hire car.

And that, I thought, was probably that. A quick scroll through my twitter feed, and the good @kennington reported that Kate Hoey was within the sacred walls, being received by the Pope. Keeping in line with the song, the response from Mr Pope of course had to be:

“Who the f***ing hell is Kate Hoey…”

It must have been a laugh-along-a-minute during the short meeting. We were led to believe that Benny was giving a sidesplitting speech to the Sisters all about… death. It’s the way he tells ‘em.

I did consider buggering off back to base and resuming my own private worship of housework. But I stuck it out, and was rewarded with what was a truly unique, magical and simply jaw dropping moment, right on my #hyperlocal doorstep.

A robed up dude emerged from the gates at St Peter’s to deliver a cheeky thumbs up to the crowd. I passed this off as perhaps a sign of the party atmosphere within. Perhaps the water had been turned to wine, and wall-to-wall vomiting had broken out.

But nope – Mr Thumbs Aloft was indicating that one of the most powerful and influential men in the world wanted to have a walkabout, right on my bloody doorstep.

Blimey.

The crowd went crazy, both God Fearers and the guys ‘n girls from the Gaybourhood alike. I was sitting on the fence, quite literally, and simply wanted to take it all in.

Even for an agnostic, it was simply magical. There was a huge surge of emotion in witnessing the power of an old man to inspire my local community. As far as schedule time killers go, this had to be the most remarkable way of filling in a spare half hour in the South London afternoon.

I tried to make sense of this short burst of spirituality, but where to look? Mr Pope’s shoes caught my eye. I may not believe in his right wing nonsense of a message, but he is certainly a snappy dresser.

Sticking with the shoe theme, and it seemed that an Iraqi style shoe throwing protest was about to break out. A singular shoe dropped right in front of me. Turns out it belonged to a poor kid who was simply caught up in all the excitement and emotion.

This is about as rock ‘n roll as my little #hyperlocal patch of South London gets. The appearance of an iconic figure in the late evening SW8 sunshine was inspiring, if not in a religious capacity, then certainly spiritualy.

I have seen the light, I have seen Mr Pope, and yes – I have seen a community celebrating a unique event. The Gaybourhood guys ‘n girls rightly had their grievances, but I simply couldn’t ignore the power that this man has. What a waste for it be channelled into the nonsense of organised religion.

So yeah – for one afternoon only, my #hyperlocal patch of South London became the centre of the universe. I may not believe in creationism, but I am now a confirmed supporter of community cohesion.

Amen to that.

The perennial problem for any political organisation is how to talk to the Little People. Tell it Like it is etc, and then let them decide if your message is meaningful or has no merit.

The Lambeth way is to use all types of third sector language twaddle. Stage an Expo; engage with the stakeholders. Watch Mr Mayor look rather uncomfortable as he is obliged to undergo some Thai Chi.

The Vauxhall Expo [urgh!] on Saturday afternoon at Spring Gardens was well intentioned. It was indeed actually rather community spirited. In terms of ticking the @lambeth_council boxes of engagement, consultation and participation, it probably just about worked.

Phew.

Funding is set aside each year for @lambeth_council to take what is essentially old school style Radio 1 Roadshows into the local community. Gurning politicians replace the gurning pop stars. Smiley Miley becomes #lambethcoop consultation.

You can see the logic in this approach. Inviting the locals into Lambeth Town Hall to see what the chuffers our hard working council is coming up with, would lead to a response rate attracting only loners and / or bored bloggers.

Spring Gardens on Saturday afternoon was rather ace. The locality of the splendid Vauxhall City Farm gave the event a wider appeal. The ever-present Dr Bike was accepting patients. Local organisations such as the Kennington, Oval & Vauxhall Forum and the Vauxhall Society were able to showcase their concerns.

In-between all the civic high jinks, and you could take the time to speak to to our wonderful local @LambethLabour councillors, or even take part in the bucket ‘n balls approach to the #lambethcoop consultation.

VOTE LABOUR said the sign being displayed by our Red Flag flying Comrades.

“Um, why should I vote Labour?” I politely asked the rather decent @SE11. I was optimistic about an answer involving free swimming for every resident, or perhaps the opportunity to sit on the Citizen-less Citizen’s Committee.

Instead I got the chance to guess the weight of a rather lovely looking home made cake. Let them eat it, I thought, but @SE11 was well humoured, as was the very, very fine @janeinlondon / E Hants.

We spoke about recent local campaigns, and I thanked our Comrades for their continued support in helping to resolve the bonkers 5am licence for Kelly’s boozer. So yeah – the aim of engagement had been achieved, and all over the lure of a home baked cake as well.

Elsewhere around Spring Gardens and it was great to share some gossip with @garethwyn, @markvauxhall, a somewhat straying @streathamaction and even @diamondgeezer – blimey!

@SE11_lurker was, um, lurking. A slight communication mishap, and whaddya know – the ever-diligent blogger had been delayed by scrutinising the finer details of the grand Vauxhall generation model in the nearby church. There’s dedication for you.

But as ever, it was #lambethcoop that got us all, um, co-operating. I stood aside as other local online folk took the great #lambethcoop balls ‘n bucket consultation.

Our host was passionate about the project, and keen to promote the benefits of the @LambethLabour election pledge. Our host was also an apolitical council officer, banding about the language of “savage Tory and LibDem cuts” as part of his apolitical brief.

Whoops.

And then with perfect timing for all of this hot air, a blust of wind blew away #lambethcoop. It wasn’t quite on par with the Three Little Pigs and the straw house, and I certainly wasn’t about to be scapegoated as the Big Bad Wolf.

Consultation complete – engagement ended.

Let’s hope that the power makers within Lambeth Town – be they political or apolitical – are actually listening to the Little People.

Mr Mayor’s Tai Chi was rather cool though.

One by one, and the Golden Days of my South London summer are starting to slip away from me.

I lost le velo last week. Herne Hill and the fine folk of Velo Club Londre will no doubt be rolling out each weekend until the Ride of the Falling Leaves. My velo days came to a close early September with the sad selling of my track bike.

Swimming @BrockwellLido is being stretched out until the end of September this summer. I have so far resisted the urge to slip into my wetsuit. An early morning water temperature of seventeen degrees is proving to be the perfect kick-start for the day.

And so having lost track cycling, and the days drifting for outdoor swimming, Friday saw Old Father Time ringing the final bell around The Oval. Time has been called on my South London cricketing fun – and I don’t mean in the bar at the Long Room, either.

@AnnaJCowen and I first started watching cricket at The Oval back in the heady days of the summer of ’95. We gatecrashed the @surreycricket Glory Years, and have been dining out (and drinking) on the experience ever since.

Drunken staggers down the Clap’ham Road back to Sunny Stockwell soon became a thing of the past. We loved our Oval experiences so much, we bought a house within earshot of the umpire’s bell.

Blimey.

Much like the weather, the memories over the past fifteen summers of South London bat and ball are somewhat hazy. Cricket is a sport that wasn’t invented to watch stone cold sober. Stats and figures are all well and good, but that’s what the annual Surrey Member’s Year Book is for in years to come as we sit back and reflect.

As for the final, final Oval trip – it wasn’t exactly over and out on a high. A solitary one run from the @surreycricket, um, legend that is Kevin Pietersen, and a second innings collapse on par with my Long Room slumbers. It should see us through the long winter months.

As for the future?

C’mon Notts the ‘rrey, um, the ‘Sex.

Oh Lordy.

Well, not quite closure as in no longer trading as a business (which it currently isn’t…) but closure from the point of view of a hugely successful community based campaign to keep away the proposed bonkers 5am booze and live bands licence for Kelly’s along the Clap’ham Road.

Confused?

A quick re-cap: Having closed as a traditional boozer just over two years ago, Kelly’s was bought by a local Porto businessman with grand plans. The first of Antonio da Silva’s money making schemes was to use the space to open up a clinic. This was rejected by @lambeth_council planning. The exterior neon lighting request can’t have helped.

Then came the non-licensed and illegal Porto car wash. Except that it was the most unsuccessful car wash in all of South London (tip for would be car washers: drinking booze outside your business all day ‘aint great for… business.)

The car wash was closed by @lambeth_council, but it probably wouldn’t have lasted the summer anyway, such was the lack of interest in actually washing any cars.

Da Silva then switched his attention to becoming a landlord. An ambitious planning application was submitted to @lambeth_council to squeeze nine luxury development flats (yeah, right) into the tiny space.

Building on top of the car wash garage was part of the deal, ignoring the obstacle of a grand old tree rather inconveniently blocking the building space. The application was thrown out on the grounds of over-crowding.

Running short on options, da Silva then turned back towards a bar for Kelly’s. Fine – this was the original purpose of the building, although a bonkers 5am licence didn’t exactly go down too well with the local residents.

And so on Wednesday morning, I (and many others) received official notification from the fine Ross Hill, the Licensing Officer @lambeth_council, stating:

“I write further to your recent representation in respect of the above-mentioned application, which was due to be considered by our Licensing Sub-Committee in early September.

I have just received notification from the applicant that they now wish to withdraw their application. The application will not be processed any further, and will not appear at a committee hearing.

I understand that the owners of the premises are now looking to reopen it later in the year, trading within the times permitted under the current licence, which are as follows:

Monday – Wednesday 10:00 – 00:00
Thursday 10:00 – 01:00
Friday & Saturday 10:00 – 02:00
Sunday 12:00 – 00:30″

The generous opening hours still seem to favour the landlord, and not the locals, but they are a damn site improvement on the bonkers 5am proposition. I personally probably won’t oppose the hours, although noise levels will of course need monitoring.

Lessons learnt: It is truly wonderful how the #hyperlocal community around my little patch of South London has managed to work together to overturn such a highly unsocial variation in licence application.

I started off in isolation, first seeing the statutory notices appear on the pub door, and thinking that I would be alone in trying to preserve any sense of community that is left along this corner of the Clap’ham Road.

A knock on the door with my neighbours, a blog post that hooked me up with other concerned locals, communication with the local Safer Neighbourhood Team, interest from the nearby Fentiman Resident’s Association, backing from the Bolney Meadow residents and let’s not forget the HUGE show of support from the very good @janeinlondon / E Hants and Jack the Lad Hopkins.

Here we have a local community united against a landlord chancing his luck with the Licensing Committee. Over forty objections were submitted to the Licensing Committee, as well a petition with double this number of signatures. The applicant was able to view these, a factor which led to the withdrawal of the variation in licence.

It’s such a shame that this may well be one of the final acts that I will be able to carry out around here locally as part of the community. If @AnnaJCowen and I were sticking around, then I would most definitely build upon this local network and work upon other local issues.

And so yeah – you can stick yer bonkers 5am licence somewhere else far away from our local residential community. And please keep the noise down, come the more civilised closing time.

Time gentleman, in more ways than one…

With a huge heads up to the good @labourstockwell, here’s where we find out exactly who is responsible for pitching in with the bonkers 5am alcohol and live music licence for Kelly’s along the Clap’ham Road.

The mysterious CL 21 Speed Ltd, as listed on the Variation in Licence form, didn’t give much away. Likewise for the Southwark SE5 85X postcode. For more of a pointer then you need to look slightly closer to home and the A Toca Cafe, situated along Wandsworth Road, SW8. Mr. Antonio da Silva is listed at Companies House as the current owner, strangely under the business of ‘window cleaning.’

And so it would seem that the plan is to turn Kelly’s into a Porto cafe. I’d be quite supportive of this in principle – custard cream cakes, coffees and sea fish food. I fail to see however why a licence until 5am in the morning is required to provide such a service.

It is accepted that Sunny Stockwell is home to the largest Portuguese community outside of the mother country. We are an inclusive lot around here, working, resting and playing rather well together. I would like to continue to be able to rest at a reasonable hour.

But my #hyperlocal little patch of South London is not a Porto holiday resort. It is a residential area of South London, where locals needs to rest before heading out to work the next day.

Even the Porto enclave of South Lambeth Road doesn’t have any bar with a bonkers 5am licence. My fear is that once Little Porto closes at a respectable hour, the customers will simply stream down Dorset Road and continue to party around my #hyperlocal patch.

This really should be a straightforward common sense decision for the Licensing Committee to make. If the application is to proceed (which is unlikely) then the Committee needs to assess if the lifestyle of locals living nearby will be affected.

The @lambeth_council Licensing Committee is made up of political representation across all three parties. Party politics shouldn’t come into this.

@LambethLabour courted the Porto community ahead of May 6th. It is hoped that this same feeling of respect and understanding is applied to all living within Sunny Stockwell.

It’s surprising how much detail you can actually find by doing some little digging around yourself. Having established yesterday that the planning application for nine flats for Kelly’s along Clap’ham Road had been thrown out last month, the continued on / off saga of the proposed bonkers 5am booze and live bands licence took a further twist on Tuesday afternoon.

With the Oval Safer Neighbourhood Team telling me on Saturday that the licence has now been withdrawn (hurrah!) and the good @JackHopkins_Lab saying the opposite yesterday, it was time to seek official clarification.

The truth lies somewhere in the middle – the bonkers 5am licence hasn’t been withdrawn as yet, but it is the understanding of the officers within the Licensing Department @lambeth_council that this will happen very soon.

So hurrah again.

I think.

I managed to speak with Ross Hill, a council officer working within Licensing. He recognised the confusion, as I re-told the story of how the local police believe that the licence has been withdrawn, whereas the local councillors think that it is still active.

Ross confirmed that this is all rumour, but he mentioned that the understanding within the Licensing Department is that the proposals will be formally withdrawn before they go to Committee.

The allocation of item agendas has already been filled for the next meeting on 31st August, which leaves the 8th September as the available remaining for the licence to be withdrawn ahead of the next meeting.

Ross confirmed that over forty representations against the licence have already been received. The sponsor of the licence has been able to view these, and it is believed that this evidence, along with a stern contribution from the local police, has led to a re-think.

Ah yes – about that re-think…

Kelly’s currently has a weekend licence until 2am. Although this is still rather late for a residential area, it is far more acceptable than the crazy nineteen hours of all day boozing that was planned.

I think most locals could live with a weekend only 2am licence, and then 11pm during weekdays. The conclusion from my chat with Ross however is that a new licence variation is being considered. By implication, this would suggest something slightly later than 2am is being lined up.

Not acceptable.

Ross also mentioned that the building was sold two years ago, along with the existing licence. He wasn’t able to name who the new owner is, but he said that they currently run other nightclubs along the busy commercial stretch of Wandsworth Road.

It seems our #hyperlocal little South London residential community is being confused by the owner for the night time economy patch elsewhere in the borough. Kelly’s should be a community pub, and not a nightclub for outsiders.

So yeah, it’s still very much a case of watch this space. Or even that space on the front door of Kelly’s where all formal licence variations have to be posted. If you objected to the licence then you should receive an email from the Licensing Department, *if* the original application is withdrawn.

Otherwise it looks like being Room 8 at Lambeth Town Hall on the evening of 8th September, to let the Licensing Committee know that a drinking den of a nightclub is clearly not acceptable within our residential community.

How to solve the problem that is Kelly’s along the Clap’ham Road?

*deep, deep sigh*

Consultation with the local community and cooperation to find a working solution for the site would be a good start.

Some digging around on the @lambeth_council planning database confirms that the yuppie flats application was actually rejected last month. Which makes the current bonkers 5am alcohol and live music licence for the site become all the more clearer now.

The timeline seems to suggest that the original plan was to convert the site into nine luxury flats, with a bar below. This was a separate application to the recent request that proposes to introduce nineteen hours a day of boozing into my local community.

I was broadly supportive of the flats development, as were many other locals living around here. The site has been officially empty for two summers now, crumbling around the edges and currently being squatted. It needs a long-term future.

The current owner (still trying to track down – any pointers?) now clearly wants a get rich quick scheme put in place. With the planning application refused, the timeline continued last month with the appearance of the illegal car wash.

This is no laughing matter – with no consultation with local residents, and with no contact with the council for a change of business premises, a Porto car wash appeared overnight within the garage of Kelly’s.

This was the most unsuccessful car wash in South London. It attracted zero customers. It did attract however friends of friends of friends, who all gathered outside the carwash and sat around on the street drinking beer all day.

With some help from our local councillors, the car wash was soon closed down. The handmade (and misspelled) sign still remains, as do the padlocks put in place by the Porto’s running the operation, who return periodically and dump off unknown packages.

Which brings us up to date with the Kelly’s timeline of mismanagement. No yuppie flats, no Porto car wash but a highly offensive licensing application for boozing and live music until five in the morning.

It is clear that the owner wants to make a fast buck out of the building, but not by bringing along the support of the local community on board. The consensus during our door knocking at the weekend is that locals want to find a use for the site. We would be happy for a local pub to return with a properly managed and socially responsible licence.

The complete lack of consultation with local people has given us zero confidence in Kelly’s actually being able to contribute anything to the local community. The twenty-four hour licensing laws were proposed to try an implement a relaxed continental cafe culture. What is currently planned at Kelly’s is the exact opposite of this policy. This is not a delicatessen but a drinking den.

The deadline has now passed for anyone wanting to comment on the application ahead of the meeting of the Lambeth Council Licensing Committee on 31st August. @janeinlondon / E Hants and @JackHopkins_Lab have very kindly set up an online petition to continue with the campaign.

This is a very really #hyperlocal issue, and it is genuinely a case of every extra signature gained will send out the message of mistrust that we have locally about the proposed licence.

This is a community, and not a nightclub site. Let’s keep it that way.