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Match Drawn. Surrey 430 and 309-7, Glamorgan 702-8 dec (Glamorgan 11pts, Surrey 10pts)

Off to The Oval for one final hurrah of the summer. C’mon the ‘rrey! (they’re gonna need it.) #

Never seen The Oval so empty. Lemon tree (don’t ask) looking lonely on boundary. @surreycricket need to bat all day to save. 2 down. Whoops #

Beaten Beardy Weirdy Man into the ground. Surrey head bar man once again… watching cricket. Good work, fella. 49-2 the ‘rrey #

Big Ben just reverberated 11 bongs over The Oval. Legendary Surrey oik Lobby making noises of his own. May join the booze boy in Peter May #

Oh yeah, attracting flies like Surrey attract weird Members. Funny old season down in SE11. 55-2. Gonna be a slow day #

Right. Surrey head bar man has buggered off back to his bar. Which must mean it’s time for booze. Chin chin. 59-2 the ‘rrey. Slow #

Golly Gosh looks like a helicopter is about to land on The Oval strip #

When an old cricketer leaves the crease. This really is the saddest day of the season. @surreycricket lost another wicket, 63-3. Wobbling #

Autumn chill finally descends over The Oval. Cloud not lifted. Shorts and cycling top not looking so sensible now. 73-3 Surrey. Hanging on #

Sitting top tier in the Pavilion and it looks like a fire is breaking out around Victoria #

“There goes the ice cream man with the loudest tinkle in London,” said the voice of @surreycricket. Cricket quote of the season. 83-3 ‘rrey #

Luncheon atThe Oval. As expected, @surreycricket on the back foot. Afternoon looks good though with @cabbiescapital company. 100-3 the ‘rrey #

Truly tropical in the Peter May stand. Topless OAP’s. Meanwhile, back in the Member’s Pavilion and I’m freezing my nuts off. 126-3 the ‘rrey #

Lack of decent wigs at The Oval. Disappointing. 140-3 #

Game petering out for a draw. So that was a worthwhile four days then. Lack of wigs compensated by amazing hair dye man behind us. 167-3 #

Talk in Member’s Pavilion turned from cricket to Sir Cliff. A sure indication of how crap the cricket is. Expect cpts to shake hands soon #

Been at The Oval for six hours now. And guess what? We’re heading for a draw… 244-5 the ‘rrey #

Blimey. Gunter Nel is on water boy duties at The Oval. Highlight of the afto has been legendary Surrey oik, Lobby, getting over excited #

Genuinely quite tearful as another South London season comes to a close at The Oval. Could be our last #

Tried to board the Glamorgan team bus. Lard arse Cosgrave showed some action for first time in four days. Next stop, lovely lido cafe #

Close of play, day one: Surrey 334-4 (Surrey 3pts, Glamorgan 1pt)

Taking a final drag on the fag end of the summer. At The Oval for the morning session between Surrey & Glamorgan. Hard work for ‘rrey, 40-2 #

Bloke sitting in front of me is wearing a wig. Not any old wig. It’s a wig with a pony tail. Why? 47-2 the ‘rrey. Rebuilding of innings #

Been reminded that last time I was at The Oval, I stood on a chair in the Long Room and pointed at portrait of Member wearing wig. No memory #

50 up for the ‘rrey. Been hard slog. Cosgrove and his generous waistline already has foot back in the pavilion for luncheon. Wigs are weird #

Blimey. The ‘rrey 3 down now with Walters trapped plumb. Surrey head bar man once again watching cricket, rather than pouring pints. 55-3 #

Members’ AGM should be lively this winter. We were promised season of change, not stagnation. Surrey are the Leeds Utd of county cricket #

Remember that strip of grass in South London where the #ashes were won? A pair of pigeons are currently humping on it. 65-3 the ‘rrey #

Surrey happy to hang on until luncheon. 72-3, not the best of mornings. Chap nearby has most amazing ears. You could hang washing on them #

Ah, lovely boyo Robert Croft comes into the attack for Glamorgan. Always a joy to watch #

Warwickshire 201-1 beat Surrey 200-8 by nine wickets (Warwicks 2pts)

Looking over mid wicket at The Oval, awaiting the arrival of company for the evening. Truly adore this place. 81-2 @surreycricket. All fine #

Game on hold – the famous Surrey fox has just trotted across the wicket. Only fox you’ll find around these parts #

My Man in the Pinstripes sitting to my left said “144-5 for @surreycricket doesn’t look so good.” I would have to concur with Mr Pinstripes #

Half the korfball club seems to be at The Oval. Training night as well. Whoops. Warwickshire even playing in korf club colours. 148-6 ‘rrey #

The smell of cheap booze and Pringles caught up in the whiskers of beardy men is slightly alluring. 158-6 the ‘rrey. Fightback underway #

My Man in the Pinstripes notes that the Surrey head barman is once again watching cricket, rather than pouring pints. Good work, fella #

Surrey looking as limp as the Oval lemon tree out by the boundary. 175-8 with three overs remaining #

Kenny Kennington lurking ominously by the Oval boundary. Fans of breakdancing men dressed as hounds will be happy. Slog time. 198-5 ‘rrey #

Sitting next to Norman Tebbit in skirt. Gonna give her a squeeze and see if any b******s. Meanwhile that Jonathan Trott is back at The Oval #

Sweet. Cavalry has arrived with Dr A and more booze. 23-0 Warwickshire. What’s the abbreviation of the rather long County? Wars? #

Aye aye – it’s only Ian Bell at The Oval crease. You know what that next tweet will be. 32-1 Wars whatever http://twitter.com/Jason_Cobb/status/4034462124

Spectacular South London skyline at The Oval. Red sky at night, Surrey are in the s***e #

The Oval bar staff – p**s poor, like Surrey #

Surrey looking sorry. 144-1 Warks (aha!) chasing down 200. Members’ bar looks good for the evening #

I seem to have a pint of red wine. Whoops. 182-2 Warks, 19 to win #

My Man in Pinstripes said “12 to win with 9 wickets remaining is not within the capabilities of Warwickshire.” My man speaks sense #

No Bell end for once. Warks stroll it with an 8 wicket victory. Members’ bar awaits #

Two screens in the Long Room. One showing Liverpool, one the Arse. A club divided. No sign of Forest #

Portrait in the Long Room of Judith Chalmers and John Major. Blimey #

Ouch, OUCH. A fine evening out at The Oval, but I’m paying for it now on the early early shift #

Close of play, final day: Surrey 376 and 282-9dec, Northants 492 (Northants 12pts, Surrey 10pts)

Top tier of The Oval, surveying my patch. @surreycricket
doing a fine job of hanging on. 227-5, lead of 100ish after following on. Booze… #

Note to self: Don’t publish a podcast talking up @surreycricket’s chances. They’ll only lose another wicket. Spriegel lbw 56. 235-6 the ‘rrey #

OCS ball tampering? Bloke behind boundary rope caught the ball, and roughed up the cherry before tossing it back. 239-6 the ‘rrey #

Once again the bar manager at the Ramps’ 100 Bar has taken up his favourite position. Um, just behind mid wicket. Nice work, fella. 243-6 #

250 up for the ‘rrey for the fall of 7 wickets. Game changed. Northants optimtic of run chase & result. Dr A working away. Why? Strange girl #

V excited. Chap wearing Forest top & Surrey cap, carrying pint, just sat in front of us. Planning a D***y song. Dr A not happy #

Why are *all* the players out, asked Dr A. Um, that will be tea, darling. 265-8 @surreycricket. Could get lively if wickets fall after tea #

Lurking in the 100 Hundred’s Bar at The Oval, smuggling in home brew. Bar Manager clocked us. Surprised he’s actually here #

Legendary @surreycricket oik, Lobby, is alive and well in the Peter May stand. No one can deliver a C’mon the ‘rrey better than Mr L. 278-9 #

Blimey. Match drawn. Northants ran out of ideas and two captains shook hands. Shame, as I was all bound for more booze action #

Close of play, day one: Surrey 305-5 (Surrey 3pts, Northants 1pt)

Work done for now. Making short walk down the Clap’ham Rd for some @surreycricket action. Monty’s been bowling all morning. Vaguely excited #

Luncheon over at The Oval. Players are out with @surreycricket batting on 96-2. Big appeal from Monty in first over. No sign of #ashes fever #

Old boy in front of me at The Oval has sunk half a bottle of champagne in past half hour. He’s reading the obits in The Times. 120-2 Surrey #

Deary me. Midweek and the Peter May boys are bare chested. The Peter May boys have an average age of 65 #

Aha! A rare sighting of the Surrey fox! And I don’t mean the blue rinse bird sitting behind me. 137-2 Surrey. Good progress after luncheon #

Monty Panesar, Oval boundary #fail #

Daily Express journos (yeah, I know) should set up base at The Oval. This is their demographic heartland. On the look out for Di. 158-3 #

Exchanging emails with the wonderful @surreycricket, who is sitting about ten metres to my left. 164-3 Surrey. Monty out of attack #

I’ve looked at this London skyline from top of The Oval for 15 years. Still finding new points of interest. We’ll miss this when we’re gone #

And there’s the half century for JB. 179-3 Surrey #

Back at The Oval and it’s all about JB and his century. Batty on 94. Bizarre chat at break in toilets with bloke about hand towels #

Monty is a better fielder than bowler. Discuss (or probably just get on with some work.) 99 for Jonathan Batty
#

Brilliant. Ton up for JB. Really couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke. Been batting for almost seven hours now. 279-5 Surrey #

Surrey 156-2 beat Gloucestershire Glamorgan 189-5 by eight wickets (D/L) (Surrey 2pts)

Heading out to The Oval, via the off-licence. Optimistic of some Ramprakash watching #

Bumper crowd at The Oval. Seriously. Suits everywhere. City half day? Mr Ramps is out there *swoon* 42-0 Glouc Glam #

Floodlights on at The Oval. Turn ‘em down! And while you’re at it, turn down loudmouth Wilson, keeping wicket for Surrey. 44-0 Glouc Glam #

Can’t decide if Glouc Glam high run rate is evidence of a decent #ashes batting wicket at The Oval, or simply crap Surrey bowling. Hang on… #

Still can’t get over size of Pro40 crowd, a competition that ECB tell us is a dead format. Boy Bragg looking good out there for Glouc Glam on 35 #

Not much take up of the highly irritating 4 & 6 cards in the Member’s pavilion. Marketing turns everything into s**** #

Ah, Bill Bragg out for a fine 36, bowled by Meaker. Great view here looking right over the strip. 58-1 Glouc Glam #

Glamorgan, Gloucestershire, Crinkley Bottom. All the same. Meh. 60-1 the, um, opposition #

@jleyden good point. Far too many Oval draws in past 5 years here. Which would work well for Aussies #ashes #

Sun out now at The Oval, Glamorgan (aha!) flagging on 116-4. Unfortunate red wine spilage incident nearby #

Booze taken a bit if a stranglehold. Bad light as well. V gloomy over The Oval. Mr Ramps looks buff, I believe. 169-5 Glamorgan #

@mazlaws oi oi – where are you sitting? Pavilion v busy #

All very gloomy looking out towards ye olde London town. St Paul’s fading on the skyline. Expecting rain soon. 182-5 Glouc / Glam #

Off for rain at The Oval. Pitch inspection at 6:45. Could be a late finish. Apologies to all Surrey Members for my toilet incident #

Oh dear. Kenny Kennington (man in dog costume) is breakdancing to some Elvis on the #ashes wicket. Raining again. Not looking good for play #

A***. Raining again at The Oval. Covers are on. England football in Long Room looks likely #

In other news: just been given a Rico box set whilst sitting in the pavilion. Blimey. Ah covers are coming off #

Bugger. We’re off for rain again at The Oval. 59 for no loss, the ‘rrey #

Mr Ramps batting at The Oval. Bugger. I’ll miss this when we’re gone #

I have some very distressing news. We are out of booze at The Oval. Bugger #

Hilarious. Non Member in the Member’s Pavilion thought he would break tradition and attempt Mexican wave. Ended up pouring pint over himself #

Surrey win. Off to snog Mr Ramps #

In the Long Room. Life is good #

Close of play, day three: Surrey 362 and 195-3, Derbyshire 334 (Surrey 7pts, Derbys 6pt)

Off to watch cricket in Croydon, with the nicest cab driver I know. I only know one cab driver #

Made it to the Whitgift after a trawl around Croydon. Sitting in the sun with @cabbiescapital, watching @surreycricket #

Oh yeah, Gunter Nel has his backside in my face #

Gunter Nel scratching his balls on the boundary #

Strange man sitting nearby with a wild animal resting on his head. 209-8 Derbyshire #

Old boy sitting on the boundary with either shaving cream, or a bodily fluid dripping down his ear. 223-8 Derbyshire. Need a wicket #

Talk has turned towards cricketing infidelities. I’m keeping quiet. Hard work for @surreycricket. Should have seen off Derbys by now. 255-8 #

Lunch at the Whitgift. @surreycricket frustrated by Derbys tail, 279-8. Been invited for stroll around the outfield. Kids bat & ball action #

Gunter is fuming on the boundary. Steam coming out of ears. 308-2 Derbys. Ice creams appealing. Think Mr Nel needs one. C’mon the ‘rrey #

Finally a wicket. 331 Derbys. Gonna buy Gunter an ice cream. Unusually high number of knitting spinsters sitting around me #

Derbys all out for… Um, beer time of the day. Jonathan Batty pegged it off to pavilion, ahead of opening batting. Steaming Croydon afto #

Good afto for Saffer spotters in S London. Now staring up the arse of Nanti Hayward on the Whitgift boundary. Relax, girls. Wearing Y-fronts #

Minor incident in the Whitgift ice cream tent. Kid bowled a bouncer at me. I tossed the ball back, taking the f***** out #

Wonderful. @cabbiescapital has let me in through his Whitgift WIFI back door. 18-0 the ‘rrey #

Ice cream tent woes put into perspective. Bloke in front just dropped radio into his pint. Nanti Hayward Y-fronts strangely alluring #

12th man must wear flip flops #cricketlaws #

Weird big screen at Whitgift. It’s showing a slideshow of what appears to be Head Teacher’s home slide show. Half expecting readers’s wives #

‘ere we go. Mr Ramps is in. The master walked to the crease in the same time it takes me to polish off a can. The great man is in no rush #

Mr Ramps just slogged all the way into the Head Teachers’s corporate tent. Sorry, Sir. 131-0 @surreycricket #

Cricket bores are the best bores #

Stumps at the Whitgift. @surreycricket made a run dash towards close, 195-3. Derbys’ Stefan Jones got a bit friendly towards end. Nice boy #

Leaving Croyden. Hopefully for the final time #

Full flickr set over here.