To The Greyhound! … at the rather somber time of *ahem* slightly after midday on Saturday afternoon [just] for the morning / afternoon after the night before. No Dirty Stop Out accusations over here please – this was the very worthy cause of the Wivenhoe May Fair Fundraiser, ahead of the big day out at the KGV on 26 May.

All of those portaloos don’t pay for themselves, dontachaknow.

Dosh is needed up front, and preferably RIGHT NOW. It takes a brave man / blogger to dismiss a bucket being shaken by a lovely little ankle biter of Wivenhoe, very politely asking for something ever so slightly more generous than your loose change.

Saturday afternoon in the beer garden at The Greyhound was quite wonderful. This was the true spirit of May Fair, with the local community coming out to celebrate this rather unique and quite bonkers festival that has grown up on the KGV over the past thirty years.

The link with the past [aha!] was complete with Mr Mule very kindly giving up the increasing demands on his time to put in a solo set. With a Radio Wivenhoe breakfast show, and a Hurricane gig later in the evening, there was something of a Phil Collins [steady] about the Pop Genius, doing his Live Aid London to Philly global dash.

The late luncheon crowd was rewarded with some rare early Cleaners tunes, as well as a bit of Beatles added to the end of the set. Stirring stuff, and a definite scene setter for what was to come.

These May Fair fundraisers are something of the inverse of the Glasto village fetes that traditionally take place post the Worthy Farm festival. That nice Mr Eavis puts on a bit of a song and a dance in a marquee for the locals, as a thank you for the tolerance of the festival that has just passed.

The May Fair fundraiser had a similar community ethos, not just saying thank you for what is to come, but also encouraging the community to come out to play, and to celebrate what is to come in the town over the coming weeks.

Talent was flushed out of bedroom hibernation on Saturday afternoon, both on stage, and in the Greyhound marquee.

Blimey.

The reward for the dedication to keeping live music al fresco in Wivenhoe was a glorious sunny afternoon – which is something that we haven’t been able to say for some time. More of the same please Mr Weatherman, particularly for 26th May…

The bar bolted on to the marquee made it just too easy. Thank the chuffers that the ankle biter bucket shakers managed to offload some of the loose change, before the charming barmaids managed to pocket those excess pound coins.

The music continued with a bluesy feel for the rest of the afternoon. Jay and Fiona’s stunning duet showcased a Wivenhoe talent that could hold its own on any major festival stage. A back garden performance in The Greyhound was a rare treat into the talent that the town is able to boast.

The Pulp cover come the end of the afternoon was *shhh* a Bowie for May Fair rumour waiting NOT to happen. Oh no, not here, Sireee, thank you very much.

And so shortly after 6pm, the Wivenhoe May Fair Fundraiser packed up PA’s as advertised, and then counted the coins and pondered the huge task of what is to come as the merry month of May unfolds.

Staging the May Fair is not a part-time hobby – the planning has been quite intense ever since the PA was packed away back in 2011. Saturday [oh yes] 26th May is the date for 2012. Much bucket shaking, and indeed shakers of buckets are needed to be found ahead of this date. Volunteers would be most welcome.

Saturday afternoon saw a true community spirit in helping to support the final push that is about to take place. 2012 and the 30th anniversary of Wivenhoe May Fair should succeed in its aims, if the feel of the May Fundraiser can be replicated on the KGV.

Many thanks to The Greyhound staff for being such fine hosts.

Chin chin.

Full flick feed.

Wivenhoe: We have wisteria action. Hurrah!

Like a bedroom bound teenager waiting to burst with the first spurt of summer virility, the Wivenhoe wisteria has finally flowered. I can’t stop sniffing it, to be honest.

Mr Mule’s bonkers Beach Boy ploy on Radio Wivenhoe to bring out the sun seems to have worked. Two hours of Beach Boys being blasted out from the Business Centre with Over the River on Thursday night – a one man protest to complain about the p*** poor weather.

And then come Friday morning, and WOH! Whaddya know.

Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here.

Same again for Saturday morning as well.

It is reassuring to see that the incredibly short back and sides that I inflicted upon the wisteria over the winter months hasn’t stunted the growth. Similar severe haircuts to me as a schoolboy led to playground harassment.

Look who has the last laugh now, Comrades – the wisteria had budded beautifully, and the schoolboy has grown to become, um…

And so what does it all mean?

Well…

The outdoor office is with us once again. Probably at least until 9am on Monday morning. The bees are buzzing, no doubt keen to have a good sniff around that teenage virility. Bless this Victorian house and all that built her.

And *ahem* converted her.

Wisteria seems quite particular to this hyperlocal [OH YES] patch (although I note some Transpontine interest from m’South London Comrades.)

Don’t even mention de-budding the teenager.

To the William Loveless Hall! [where else?] …on Wednesday evening for what I was hoping would be the Over 40′s STRETCH Yourself Fitter Class. I may *or may not* have found what I was looking for. It was hard to tell to be honest.

I ended the evening by realising that I had just sat through the Wivenhoe Town Council Annual Town Meeting.

Whoops.

I lost about five pounds with all the excitement, mind.

Phew, rock ‘n roll.

A full William Loveless Hall confirmed the level of civic interest that the town has when it comes to hyperlocal council matters. A tremendous amount of credit for this must go down to Peter Hill. Back in the day and the former Mr Mayor has the rather ingenious idea of dishing out the dosh from the Mayor’s Charity Fund at an annual meeting.

The masses come out to pick up the brown envelopes stuffed full of worthy wonga, whilst at the same time, civic engagement is seen to be taking place. Or perhaps Wivenhoe folk just take an active interest anyway in hyperlocal matters?

All the same – superb turn out.

Apologies came from Cllr Julie Young and the newly elected Cllr Cyril Liddy of the Quay ward. Nice one, etc. The Comrades have been a little over-stretched of late on the #labourdoorstep. A night off is well deserved.

Mayor Robert Needham opened the meeting by stating what a privilege it has been to represent Wivenhoe over the past twelve months. All the staff of Wivenhoe Town Council were praised, and then we got onto the meaty matters of what has been achieved over the course of the past civic year.

It’s quite a list, Comrades, and is no coincidence that an incredibly strong leadership at the top table has helped to push through many of these matters.

Responsibility for the wet dock was mentioned, with WTC now looking after the moored boats, the car park, the dinghy park and the misnomer that is / isn’t the Fisherman’s Store.

It’s a McDonalds Drive By waiting to happen, I tell you.

Huge credit was given to the four Borough councillors from the two wards, which have put aside party differences to sign the Working for Wivenhoe agreement. This essentially allows Section 106 wonga to filter down to whatever hyperlocal project needs the funding, irrespective of the Cross or Quay wards.

The dosh coming out of Cook’s is being used at the Cricket Club, the Tennis Club, the KGV pavilion, Broad Lane and Lower Lodge Farm.

Accountability was highlighted in the calling of the public meeting back in September, to see if the revolting residents of Wivenhoe wanted Jenny Moody Properties to build on the public land by Millfields School.

I think you know the answer, Comrades.

The past year has seen a new Wivenhoe Town Council website [oh yes,] the setting up of the Community Opportunities Group and the “landmark effort” of purchasing the two police houses along the High Street.

“We have a wealth of community assets – this is a very active town.”

The highlights of the Mayoral year were considered too great to offer a comprehensive report. The Quay Quilters, the Regatta, Carols on the Quay and events at the schools were all made reference to by Mayor Needham.

And then it came down to the dishing out of the dosh. An incredible £6k has been generated out of the Mayor’s Charity Fund [which isn't really a charity, Mr Taxman...] This was then channeled back into the local community, with many of the deserving hyperlocal Wivenhoe groups that achieve genuine greatness around our patch being recognised.

Smile for the camera, and job’s a good ‘un.

With the apt timing of the bells of St Mary’s being peeled, we then moved on to Jubilee Week, and… the peeling of the St Mary’s bells on the morning of the 4th June.

DING DONG, yeah, yeah…

A well thought out programme of events has been put in place by WTC. Once again, an incredible effort has been taking place behind the scenes. Volunteers, as ever, are always needed to help out in any small way.

The ACE Jubilee Jigsaw was bigged up, as well as the WTC time capsule, which was produced. You could fit a living, breathing Wivenhoe artist in there, Comrades.

The finale for the Wivenhoe Jubilee celebrations was confirmed as the lighting of the beacon on the evening of the 4th June. This has now got Official Beacon Status – or some such title – meaning that Wivenhoe will now be part of a national network of fires being lit in celebration of Brenda sitting on her throne.

The meeting then opened up to Q’s from residents. Two were submitted, the first dealing with the allotments and possibility of carving up the larger allotments to allow more sharing.

Already part of WTC policy apparently.

The second Q could fill a blog post, an entire blog and probably the modern interweb itself: The Engine Shed.

Oh Lordy.

The resolution was phrased:

“Point:

The parlous condition of the Engine Shed, which is a disgraceful eyesore in lower Wivenhoe.

Resolution:

“That the Council should use it influence to persuade Network Rail to either put the Engine Shed up for immediate sale, or to seek its de-listing and demolition forthwith.”

OUCH.

Cllr Kraft confirmed that correspondence has been entered in to with Network Rail, documenting the state of the hoardings. Apparently this is “satisfactory,” according to Network Rail. It is an ongoing dialogue…

The point was made from the floor that the demolition of the Engine Shed would lead to a sense of loss in the history of lower Wivenhoe. Obvious parallels exist here with *cough* the St John’s Ambulance Building.

Um, let’s leave it at that.

For now.

The meeting was closed, with Mr Mayor making the point that Wivenhoe Helping Hands was offered a sum from the Mayor’s Charity, but chose to politely refuse the offer.

Which sorta sums up Wivenhoe.

Our very welcome guest also agreed.

And we’re done! Must say I rather like Wivenhoe. Smashing little place

— Caroline Tilley (@CarolineTilley1) May 9, 2012

Lovely.

Oh, hang on – that knock, knock, knock at the door wasn’t a WTC sales pitch, but the delivery of the latest Wivenhoe Town Council News for Spring 2012.

Hurrah!

Whaddya mean that window cleaning isn’t included in my Council Tax bill?

The proposed Jubilee Garden leads the way, with one of those architectural drawings that manages to somehow make even a rubble of land look like a stunning 21st Century structure that should be taking its place down at the South Bank.

This is Wivenhoe, dahhhhling!

And thank the chuffers for that.

The drawing of the Jubilee Garden may look a little chi chi, but the hard toil of Transition Town Wivenhoe and others will soon deliver a very practical nature garden, right in the centre of the town:

“As part of the town council’s programme for the Queen’s Jubilee, we have prepared plans for a Jubilee garden in the area of unused land behind the council offices. A substantial part of the funding for this has already been obtained from Cory Environmental Trust, and we are actively looking for more.”

Dig for Victory, Comrades. Preferably anytime from 10am – 4pm on 13th May when the lovely folk of TTW will next be volunteering to make the rubble look an architectural wet dream.

Speaking of tugging away at bell ends, what about the grand peeling of the St Mary’s bells, taking place on the morning of Monday 4th June to celebrate Brenda’s 60th year on the throne?

DING DONG, etc.

The WTC newsletter also helpfully updates with other officially endorsed items on the Jubilee agenda:

2nd June – June Market and Art on the Railings

2nd June – Diamond Jubilee Ball in the William Loveless Hall [where else?]

3rd June – Church Thanksgiving Service

4th June – Pealing of the bells and FUN Day at the KGV

FUN Days always need to be capped up, Comrades. Just so y’know what you’re letting yourself in for.

Central to Wivenhoe… is a half-decent read all about the successful purchase of the two old police houses along the High Street by WTC. It can’t be underestimated what a stroke of strategic genius this move was, linking up the run of civic owned property right in the heart of Wivenhoe. You never know when your friendly local WTC wants to build a motorway right across the town…

“The potential to provide a substantial community facility is enormous. The decision was a bold one. It was taken with confidence that townsfolk are supportive of the measure and that a once in a lifetime opportunity might be passed by.”

Fine work, fellas and fella-esses.

The Wivenhoe Co-operative Community Group gets a mention, with news of an afternoon tea event at Stuart Pawsey Court aimed at those people of any age who would like to pop in and meet the residents and others.

Which is not something that you’re likely to read on a Daily Mail front page, and which is why Wivenhoe is all the better for such hyperlocal updates from WTC.

A roll call of improvements is listed for the William Loveless Hall over the past civic year. These include new flooring in the main hall, total refurbishment of the ladies’ toilet and a VIP suite installed with a customised cocktail bar and subscription style TV screens for the more discerning of residents.

Possibly.

Wivenhoe Helping Hands continues to grow, as is documented in the WTC newsletter:

“Over 100 residents have been helped with a total of over 600 jobs since the start up nearly two years ago..”

Volunteers, as ever, are always in short supply. 0783 445 2764 should suffice.

An update on the proposed new medical centre behind the Fire Station is also published. Put simply, the wonga is sitting in a safe bank account, waiting for the negotiations with the landowner to proceed.

You can hear Bernie Boy bang on about it towards the end of this audio [recorded at around 2am in a very tired and emotional state, a situation that you should never allow yourself to fall into with a Conservative MP...]

Memorial Plaques [no connection with Conservative MP's] seem like a very dignified and affordable idea. WTC is proposing that these be made available for folk from the town, who perhaps might have passed away elsewhere, but whose memory remains in Wivenhoe.

You can take the old boy out of Wivenhoe, etc…

And finally:

There is no such thing as a Poo Fairy.

Nope – not a new hyperlocal Wivenhoe nursery rhyme that they are teaching the little ankle biters down at the Montessori, but a polite reminder to dog folk to pick up Fido’s faeces.

Hopefully it won’t be a time for skid marks when the Annual Wivenhoe Town Council Meeting takes place on 9th May, 7:30pm at the William Loveless Hall [where else?]

All welcome.

Don’t forget yer doggy bag.

Another day in the Bank Holiday weekend, another wonderful walk as part of the Sunny Colch 2012 schedule for Jane’s Walk. And whaddya know – Sunday afternoon saw a slight amble around Wivenhoe and the surrounds.

Well I never.

As has been blogged before, one of the inclusive aims of Jane’s Walk weekend is to explore your own hyperlocal environment at a pace that perhaps is a little more leisurely than the day-to-day schedule allows. You need to look around your community to better understand what the needs are.

For Wivenhoe read: wellies.

Sunday afternoon saw a friendly walk around Ferry Marsh and Wivenhoe Wood with the very decent Professor Ted Benton from the Sociology department at the University of Essex. Back in the day, and the good Prof instructed me in Modern Social Theory up on campus. Fast forward twenty years and it was all about beetles, bumble bees and great big logs in Wivenhoe Wood.

I know which form of instruction will prove to be the greater like skill.

The weekend Wivenhoe weather wasn’t exactly conducive to enticing all the buzzy buzzy little things out from wherever they rest their wings in-between being a buzzy buzzy thing.

No worries – Jane’s Walk in Sunny Colch is showing great resilience in stepping out into our hyperlocal environment, even if that hyperlocal environment is telling you that it is probably best to head back to the pub.

The Wivenhoe walkers were rewarded along Ferry Marsh with a rare fly-past from a barn owl, not once, but a circuit covering the Colne and the area around West Quay, hovering for prey and proving to be something of a hoot.

Funny.

Along came a great big blackbird and the birding version of the Battle of Britain soon broke out. Mother Nature can be a bit of a bitch sometimes.

We pressed on towards Wivenhoe Wood, still not too late in the season to see the bed of bluebells that welcome young eloping lovers who fancy a bit of naturist al fresco fun. Sadly not a lot to see here either.

Prof Ted had the eyes of an owl in being able to pick out some bees fighting back the pollen repellent conditions. A truly beautiful moth was also swooped upon, with antenna that was as delicate as my walking shoes now splattered with Wivenhoe Wood mud.

You’re not meant to walk in them, dontcha know.

To fit the Sunny Colch criteria, the party split up back down beside the muddy banks of the Colne. Britain’s Oldest Recorded is that-a-way, whereas Wivenhoe and the backroom of The Greyhound can be found back up the Trail.

Chin chin.

It’s thirsty work this Jane’s Walk way of appreciating what you have around where you live. With a couple of cracking walks still to come on Monday, fighting talk was found after a few pints.

Watch me walk in a straight line tomorrow, Comrades…

Public service announcement: Labour has taken the Wivenhoe Quay ward from the Conservatives at Colchester Borough Council. Cyril Liddy polled an impressive 915 votes, with Conservative candidate and current Mayor of Wivenhoe Bob Needham achieving 539 votes.

The 42% turn out in the Quay ward was the highest in all of the borough, reflecting the positive campaign that both of the main candidates have delivered.

Up at the Cross seat and LibDem Cllr Jon Manning retained his seat, winning the election with 477 votes. His nearest challenger came from Conservative Mo Metcalf-Fisher with 192 votes.

The Wivenhoe Quay result was the one seat change out of the twenty elections taking place throughout the borough. Come the blurry eyes moment of Friday morning (VERY blurry eyes, Comrades) and it leaves CBC with 26 LibDems, 23 Conservatives, 8 Labour councillors and 3 from the Highwoods Independent group.

It is expected that a coalition between the LibDems, Labour and the Highwoods group will be formed early next week. The significance of Cyril taking the Quay seat is that it gives Labour slightly more bargaining power when it comes to divvying up the cabinet roles.

Now then – who wants to be co-opted as a Wivenhoe Town councillor?

The full results from both wards are as follows:

Wivenhoe Quay

LIDDY Cyril Patrick
The Labour and Co-operative Party Candidate
915 ELECTED

MOOG Sandra Adele
Green Party
159

NEEDHAM Robert Arthur
Conservative Party Candidate
559

RICHARDS Benjamin David Edward
Liberal Democrats
122

Wivenhoe Cross

ACOVOU Maria
Green Party
59

MANNING Jonathan Simon
Liberal Democrats
477 ELECTED

METCALF-FISHER Mo
Conservative Party Candidate
192

WILSON Tyron Ashleigh
The Labour and Co-operative Party Candidate
175

Borough wide election coverage over here.

Thirty years of the Wivenhoe May Fair will be celebrated on 26th May when the community organised festival returns for another year at the King George V Playing Fields in the town. With over £35,000 raised for local charities since 2000 alone, the original CND ethos might have shifted ever so slightly, but the aim of helping to support the local community remains the same.

With this in mind, the May Fair team has put together a line-up that showcases Wivenhoe talent of old and new across the three stages for the day. Wivenhoe rising star Lou Terry is a popular choice, along with Hobo Chang, Brainstorm Wednesday and Surfquake all also appearing on the bill. The Open Mic tent will be available to book a slot, as soon as the site opens at midday.

Elsewhere and the popular cinema tent also returns, helping to showcase local filmmakers. The site will also include many attractions for younger folk, keeping with the aim of making May Fair a festival where young families are made to feel most welcome.

With a slight wink and a nod to the past, organisers are encouraging both bands and punters to come to the May Fair in vintage clothes. Come as you are, as the case may be for some…

If you need some inspiration on the day, then the upper end of the KGV will have many stalls selling retro clothes. There will also be a beer tent hosted by a local brewery. Admission to the site with alcohol on the day will be restricted. Further details will appear on the Wivenhoe May Fair website.

The May Fair team add:

“Over the winter the team has been working closely with the local authorities and emergency services to create a safe and relaxed event. As a result there will be an increased police presence in the vicinity and double the number of trained security personnel on the field. The venue will operate a restricted alcohol policy and no glass is permitted on site. Please see the website for full details of what is allowed on site.

Reflecting both the ethos of the May Fair and a total absence of parking in Wivenhoe on the day, organisers are also encouraging festivalgoers to leave their cars behind. An increased train service to Wivenhoe will drop people off 2 minutes away from the event or come by bike, where plenty of bike storage areas will be available. Buses will also be offering a regular service to and from the event.”

Peace, love and understanding.

Nothing funny about that…

A new term up at the University of Essex – and whaddya know, a new season at the lovely Lakeside Theatre and the Arts on 5 schedule. It’s not just a slight distraction that is being offered up to the future world leaders as they prepare for their exams either.

The Lakeside is something of a lost treasure at Wivenhoe Park, open to all around Sunny Colch and the surrounds, and offering something of a halfway house between the two spectrums of @firstsite and the Mercury Theatre. But not in geographic terms, obviously…

Here are a few highlights from the Arts on 5 summer season. It’s the usual high standard and mix of touring productions, exhibitions and student involvement.

Seeking Beyond the Surface running from 25th April until 26th May takes a look at… what we take a look out each morning as we lather up the shaving foam:

Look in a mirror and one thing’s true, what we see is not who we are.(Richard Bach)

Seeking Beyond the Surface explores reflections, distortions and mirroring in the work of five international contemporary artists. Each artist focuses on the body, offering ways of exploring human presence, made inconsistent and hard to grasp by the reflective surface itself.

Is that a blackhead I see before me?

Blimey.

There is a Curator’s Lunchtime Tour taking place on 3rd May. Booking is required, but admission is FREE.

Keeping with the invex theme [or is it convex? I never too vain to take any notice...] and Mirror Mirror on 13th May offers up a family friendly appreciation of all the reflective interest:

“Explore reflection and create your own mirror masterpiece.”

Derek Walcott in Conversation on 28th April is just that:

“Nobel Laureate Derek Walcott reads from and discusses his work with award-winning poet and lecturer in the LiFTS’s Centre for Creative Writing Glyn Maxwell.”

And the reason for inviting the esteemed Nobel Laureate to Wivenhoe Park? Did someone say Pantomime? As we approach mid-summer?

Well I never:

“Lakeside Theatre and the Department of Literature, Film and Theatre Studies, University of Essex are proud to announce a brand new production of Nobel Laureate Derek Walcott’s play Pantomime, directed by the poet himself as part of a two week residency at the University.

Set in Tobago in the wake of the Caribbean republic’s establishment, an English Hotel Manager desperately prepares the entertainment at his slapdash establishment. His big idea Robinson Crusoe – The Pantomime! underwhelms his Tobagan waiter and pushes their relationship to a crisis which transcends the pantomime at hand.”

Pantomime will be performed on campus from 3rd – 5th May.

We Hope That You’re Happy (Why Would We Lie?)

Nope – I really Hope That You’re Happy (Why Would We Lie?) is the title of the next production rolling on to the splendour of the stage at The Lakeside:

“Jess is stuck. Her lifelong friend, Chris, can’t help. The others are out getting wasted. And the world is falling apart. Luckily they have a cooler full of beer, a goofy rapport and a sincere desire to make you, the audience, happy.

A flat-out and unhinged performance about trying to connect to each other, We Hope That You’re Happy (Why Would We Lie?) is a hilarious examination of tuned-in delusional consumers in a hyper-communicative world.”

I hope that you can catch We Hope That You’re Happy (Why Would We Lie?) on 12th May. And nope – I’m not making this up.

Much magic however when the rolling slopes and aquatic background that inspired Constable back in the day [blimey] becomes the setting for A Midsummer’s Night Dream.

Hurrah!

“Set in a secluded glade in idyllic Wivenhoe Park; see Shakespeare’s popular romantic comedy performed at sunset in a perfect natural environment.

The show is just 3 minutes from Lakeside Theatre so bring your cushion, relax on the grass and let our host of timeless characters weave their magic amongst the beautiful scenery and resident wildlife.”

17th – 18th May is when Shakespeare’s masterpiece on mistaken identity, a belief in the fairy world and a man called Bottom will be on offer up on campus.

I’m not talking about those undergraduate exam answers, either.

The Lakeside.

Luuurvely.