onionbagblog

To the Hythe! …early on Friday morning for a meeting with Bob Russell MP.

Blimey.

I say meeting – it was more like a friendly fire side chat with the LibDem MP for Sunny Colch, but without the fireside but an army of garden gnomes to surround us instead.

No kidding.

The very lovely folk of @Colchester101 magazine had kindly arranged the interview. My task was to turn up just off Hythe Hill, suited and booted and transform Saint Bob into the cover star for 101 for next month.

Cripes.

Having heard tales of trepidation ahead of the interview, I did my research. Voting records, expenses, um… firststite.

“Bob is Bob is Bob” is the phrase that kept on coming back to me. He is as much a part of Colchester as a Roman centurion is, proudly defiant, doing his own thing and not afraid of upsetting anyone that deviates him away from his task of talking up the town.

I read the wise Mr Mule’s words on his Westminster meeting with Bob before leaving base. It had a calming effect knowing that if the Pop Genius took something of a shine to Bob, then hopefully my cover star quest shouldn’t go disastrously wrong.

I needn’t have worried. A few sweaty palms just before 9am (mine, not his) and then before we started recording, I was made to feel at home in his constituency office with a tour of the various artefacts that have been accumulated in his fourteen years as Colchester’s MP.

Garden gnomes figured heavily.

I had planned for twenty minutes – thirty at a push – to survive the Colchester political cauldron. Forty-five minutes later and it was me who was wrapping up the interview, conscience of the editing that would be required, should our conversation continue.

I’m going to write it up for @Colchester101 over the next few days, giving it some context and exploring in more depth some of the wider themes for the town. But for m’blog, I thought I would open up an insight, and pull out some of the themes that may be of relevance to a Wivenhoe angle.

We start off with the city status bid for Colchester. All the prestige may be focussed upon the town itself, but what would city status actually mean for folk living in Wivenhoe?

“I know that some of the people living in the Borough outside of Colchester are not enthused. That’s fine – I’m not actually enthused that places outside of Colchester are in the Borough.

When I first got elected to Colchester Borough Council in 1971, it was just the town. Local government reorganisation meant that from 1st April 1974, Wivenhoe Urban and District Council merged with Colchester.”

Good point, well made. I have often found it perplexing why we have to pay Council Tax to Colchester Borough Council, yet we have an MP who represents Harwich and North Essex.

“Frankly I wouldn’t lose any sleep if we had another local government reorganisation and we went back to the historic Borough of Colchester, which by happy coincidence, is the boundary of my constituency.”

The above quotes from Bob read rather harshly – don’t take it too personally – I *think* that he has a lot of love for Wivenhoe. Off mic and we touched upon his involvement in helping to put in place the Wivenhoe Trail. He spoke highly of Conservative Borough Cllr Ann Quarrie of the Quay ward, and her personal input on this project.

It also seems that Bob is an occasional drinker at the Black Buoy – we spoke (off mic…) about Boxing Day and the Colchester Morris Men. I truly wish that I had recorded the wonderful phrase “I confess that I am something of a Morris Men groupie…”

I looked rather sheepishly into my notes when Bob remarked “that’s a little silly really” in response to my point that a sense of community could be lost when a town becomes a city.

Ask a silly question…

“Somewhere like Wivenhoe has immense pride in its community. It is distinctive from the town of Colchester.”

I think we were both in agreement in keeping this status quo, although possibly coming from different perspectives…

Keeping Colchester and Wivenhoe at a safe distance of course is the Hythe. This is an area that has fascinated me much of late, mostly coming out of Mr Mule’s recent ramblings and observations.

Bob also has big plans for the former industrial heartland of the area:

“I want the Hythe to marketed as Colchester’s Second London Station, to try and get people who are currently clogging up the North Station to start their journey at the Hythe.”

Which would seem to make sense.

And then for the next part of the interview, I simply couldn’t shirk away from the VAF and the imminent opening of firstsite.

Neither did Bob.

Having been an incredibly vocal critic of the visual arts facility that is about to open in Colchester, I asked Bob if he would be attending the opening ceremony next month:

“I believe I’ve been invited. I sense that if I were there, that would be a distraction. It’s their big day. It’s been said that I want the project to fail – NO I don’t want the project to fail. The last thing I want is for this to be an even bigger burden on the people of Colchester.”

We tracked back slightly, and Bob’s original solution seems to be a hybrid of the bus station and public art:

“Rather than have England’s 300th publicly funded art gallery, you could have England’s first bus station art gallery.”

Blimey.

I tried to explore the benefits that firstsite will eventually bring to Colchester – better to have it here, than elsewhere, etc…

“I would have been delighted if this millstone had gone somewhere else.”

Which is Bob being Bob being Bob. Which is also why he is so successful at getting elected, and why he is such a popular figure around the town. The inner aspiring artist within (me, not Bob) has to admit that he has the pulse of the man on the street (i.e. the electorate) to perfection.

We moved on with the Nu Labour phrase of “we are where we are,” both grimacing, both remembering that the local Labour party have been in bed with the VAF from day one.

Bob was keen to put aside the point of view that he is an arts philistine. He rolled off many leading artists in the area that are there to be celebrated, and then asked me head on:

“Are you aware that we have the leading accordion band in the country here in Colchester?”

Um…

Bob quite genuinely then spoke some very complimentary words towards Kath Wood, the Director of firstsite – like I said, Bob has a friendly growl, rather than a viscous bite.

But the point is that Bob Russell clearly loves the arts, just not the more avant-garde angle that artists sometimes have a tendency to disappear upwards:

“There is an elitist strand, that even at this moment, cannot grasp the fact that they are so unpopular. They could retrieve part of the situation by saying, well actually, it would help us to get people through the door if tourist coaches can deposit them outside our door. Let’s go out into the community. But they won’t.”

It remains to be seen if this taking public art out into the community is successful for firstsite, but on a related topic, this weekend of course sees the Colchester Free Festival in Castle Park – an event being organised by the creative community @15QueenStreet. How much more public can you get?

And finally – will you be standing again for public office at the next general election? Will the coalition still be in place? Is there actually anyone out there that can take the place of the huge personality that Bob Russell has been able to offer the Colchester electorate?

“David Cameron feels more at home working with some of the LibDem MP’s than he does working with some of his right wing head banging Tory MP’s – of which there are several right wing head banging Tory MP’s in Essex”

OUCH.

Tell It Like It Is, Bob.

“I’m sixty-five, I shall be sixty-nine at the next general election. I think we’ve got to see what happens. It’s a question of maintaining that enthusiasm, and belief that I can do the job. I enjoy representing my hometown in Parliament. However long that goes on for, Mother Nature will decide.”

And the electorate, I added to the record…

Bob clearly loves Colchester and would rather spend his time in the town than having to compete with all the nonsense that Westminster brings. But for a successful local politician to speak up for his hometown, he needs to work in the political twaddle that is Parliament.

I found him a warm, illuminating and bloody funny bloke in which to spend just under an hour in the company of on a drab Friday morning. Off mic and we swapped tales of *shhh* the messy world of Lambeth politico life. I rather liked Bob’s take.

I think that he enjoyed our chat – he suggested sending a copy to Andrew Phillips and the Colchester Recalled oral history project. I like to think that in years to come, local historians will hang on to every word from a blunt bloke laying out his vision for the town / city in which they are now living.

Other topics that we touched on included the expansion of the town (“too quick,”) trains and trams (“We still need a visionary government – we didn’t get it from Labour and we aren’t getting it from the coalition,”) tuition fees at the University (ouch), the Knowledge Gateway, listing Wivenhoe Park and the “Essex Olympics of 2012” – a phrase which I rather like. Stratford is a lot closer than Sunny Stockwell.

And so yeah – quite a character, quite a charmer.

Would I vote for him?

Ah… not living within his Colchester constituency boundary, and that is a hyperlocal, hypothetical question, Comrades.

You call it a jetty, I call it a pier. Either way, it was lovely to see Wivenhoe’s very own walkway out towards the water [snappy] finding a use over the weekend.

Following the grand opening of the jetty / pier by our friends from Taylor Wimpey earlier in the year, I had feared that the planks of wood would have about as much life in them as can be found in a sterile show home.

Not so.

We’re rather good at adapting and improvising here in Wivenhoe. Kids have decamped from the traditional West Quay crabbing vantage point of choice, and are now dangling their crab lines from over the side of the Seventh Wonder of Wivenhoe.

Technical note: don’t ask me about the other six until I’ve had six pints, but you’ve probably already guessed that Papa’s Chip Shop features prominently on my list.

But anyway, about the pier; or jetty even…

It’s also found a use from the newly formed Wivenhoe Jetty Fisherman’s Club. Numbers may be low, but then so is the water for most of the time during the fishing hours. I do like the sight of seeing a fine young fisherman dangling his big rod in the water, and then pulling it in with a sharp tug.

Meanwhile, back in m’South London manor and I see that m’South London colleagues, the fine @SE11_lurker and @TradescantRoad, are getting their hyperlocal hot pants all overheated over the appearance of the new Vauxhall Pier.

Pah.

You are unlikely to see any of the local kids crabbing there, Comrades. And unlike m’South London colleagues, yep – we are able to offer the fabled (and STILL absent) “free swimming for every resident.”

Stick that on the end of yer crab line, suckers.

Perhaps Wivenhoe Pier and Vauxhall Pier could be twinned? It would open up a new cultural, um, legacy, not to mention providing me with the train fare back and forth when I agree to become the first Cultural Ambassador between South London and Wivenhoe.

Just dipping my toe in the water, so to speak.

To Granny’s Bench! [blimey] came the shout on a slow, smouldering Sunday afternoon as @AnnaJCowen and I tried to forget about the freezer full of pizza and went out foraging for food instead.

Stick two fingers up to THE MAN ‘n all that, with a hyperlocal approach to satisfying the nutrient needs of our bellies. We got bored before we reached Papa’s Chip Shop, and rather predictably ended up with double large chips and saveloys all round.

Only joking.

Our North Essex estuary arrival during the fag end of the Indian Summer last year was just slightly too late in the season to benefit from all the rural delights that scavenging for berries can bring. It wasn’t that the blackberries, sloes and rosehips had all over-ripened, simply that some other buggers had got there before us.

Share and share alike, Comrades, but we weren’t going to make the same mistake some twelve months on. With the blackberries still bruising in a multi-layered colour of green, red and um, black, it is certainly a hit and miss time for any hyperlocal penny pinching produce pincher.

Taking the roughly the same route that we rather fortunately stumbled upon last summer, our Sunday afternoon stroll took us past the Sailing Club, along the water and up towards Granny’s Bench, and then back along the old gravel track and down past Ballast Quay House.

We almost didn’t get past the Sailing Club during the late summer of 2010 – the abundance of hedgerows and bushes by the water satisfied our scavenging needs. Not so this year with the sea wall vandalism of the Environment Agency leading to an absence of anything growing up along the banks.

The Wivenhoe Vegetable Garden is now starting to serve us well, but after a plate of Courgette Surprise – the surprise being that there is nothing else but corgettes – you need something slightly sweeter to set you up for the evening.

Have blackberry tupperware, will travel…

We deviated left of the river and along the stepping stones heading up towards Granny’s Bench, finding pockets of blackberry bushes, not yet quite blushing or blessed with the fruitful zing that one requires to start salivating.

Still – best get them now before the other buggers do.

We encountered some sloes en route and made a mental note to return in a few weeks to repeat the sloe gin experiment. The rosehips weren’t quite ready – and neither is my palette to be honest. The syrup of last year has left a nasty taste in the mouth, not to mention a few medical complications elsewhere.

A new addition for this year was the discovery of both elderberries and a steady supply of crab apples. It was around this point in the afternoon of picking that the conversation turned slightly fruity after I suggested a fruit fight with the girl.

I was alarmed to hear “look at these little tiddlers” and “prick” in the same conversation. I got slightly bored to be honest, and floated the idea of returning with the secateurs, hacking off the hedgerows and then picking off the blackberries at our leisure back at base whilst watching Eastenders.

You can take the boy out of South London, blah blah blah…

With bloodied blackberry stained fingers being displayed as a badge of honour, we walked along the Alresford Road and weaved our way down to Ballast Quay.

And so what next?

To quite the GREAT Lorraine Bowen, everybody’s good at cooking something, and I’m good at cooking crumble. Well, I can prick the blackberries and let the girl do the rest. It will be served up a treat with a pound of cheapo imported value ice cream, delivered especially via the online food order as Mr Supermarket burns up the food miles and makes his way through the back streets of Wivenhoe.

Ah – the Good Life.

Plus: don’t forget the plug for the most excellent Country Diary, via George Mac and Radio Wivenhoe.

Full flickr feed over here.

A lost Saturday afternoon spent drinking coffee, talking bicycles and listening to poetry; half pints of lager shandy at The Greyhound were also involved.

Splendid.

It all started off so innocently – most mistakes do these days – but somehow managed to manifest into a late August afternoon of shandy and scones.

Whoops.

A very kind invite for mid-morning coffee round at the home of Wivenhoe’s esteemed Bike Guru got Saturday off to a good start. Any man who likes to combine cycling with coffee is always worth a chin wag with.

As well as offering a Bike Guru service around Wivenhoe, plus manning the mechanical duties at the very ACE Re-Cycle across in Colchester, Matt – for he is your Bike Guru – is about to set up a cycling ‘n coffee shop down by the old bus station in Sunny Colch.

It’s an idea that is not new to London, and hopefully now is the perfect time to introduce a similar service around these North Essex estuary parts. As well as serving high-class coffee, bike repairs will be available, all within a space that celebrates cycling culture.

This may take the form of showing live coverage of the Grand Tours, or perhaps film evenings to screen some of the classic cycling documentaries.

Keep Colchester Cycling will also be based down at the kiosks in the old bus station, sharing the space with Bike Guru and his coffee n’ cycling cultural exchange.

Meanwhile, back in Wivenhoe and there was a coffee machine to road test. I admit to being more of a Tetley Tea type of chap – perhaps at a push then a rather generous teaspoon of Nescafe if I’m going for that continental look.

It was certainly an education in the Wivenhoe kitchen as I was shown how the machine works, or rather how you work with the machine and tame all that lively hissing and spurting.

The Bike Guru has grand plans, and having listened to them with great interest, I explained my own grand plan for the remainder of the day:

Mr Mule, LIVE and DIRECT Upstairs at The Greyhound.

Oh Lordy.

A brief bicycle fixation back at my base, and soon we were propping up the bar, ordering the half shandies and even shouting a round for the always engaging Pop Genius of this Parish.

Currently trading as Wivenhoe’s Leading Light Entertainer – and who are we to doubt this? – Mr Mule was on fine form as he prepared to entertain the afternoon crowd Upstairs at The Greyhound with verse, song and good humour.

Some parallels were in place from what I had heard from Matt earlier in the day. Upstairs at The Greyhound is a dead space during the day. Much like the old kiosks in Colchester, Mr Mule is keen to explore this and fill it with happy folk.

It was a mixed crowd that had come to see the Leading Entertainer – a local borough Councillor, a young chap dreading the Back to School routine that awaits, Mr Mule’s Mum.

Blimey.

The first half of the performance focussed upon The Hythe. Not at all wanting to claim credit for being the muse for Mr Mule, but having read my recent @Colchester101 piece all about the old industrial heartbeat of the Colne, this sparked an interest in revisiting some of his previous research.

In the unlikely event that you find yourself standing on the platform at the Hythe train station, do take the time to take in the words and ideas that decorate the area. This was a commission for Mr Mule, who undertook months of research and writing.

[note to self: you may have a fancy dan stereo mic mp3 gizmo, but it still sounds slightly ropey, unless you are sitting facing the performer - doh! Apologies...]

These ideas also came together for one Saturday afternoon only, Upstairs at The Greyhound. We heard about the old boys who worked the port, the returning commuters from Liverpool Street and the whores of Hythe Hill.

It’s quite a lively area, I tell you.

Mr Mule was joined by Dr Adrian May, a well-known figure on the folk circuit, and a Hythe resident. His murder ballad was one of the most beautiful pieces of music that I have heard in some time, and somehow it just seemed to make perfect sense on a Saturday afternoon at The Greyhound, just as the estuary rain took issue with the fag end of the summer.

Mr Mule returned for a mandolin version of Home Counties Boy. I have touched on before how this is his personal calling card. Everything that you need to know about Wivenhoe’s (current) Leading Light Entertainer is encapsulated in song and verse.

And then just as the Pop Genius sang:

“and don’t drop your H’s, my mum said to me…”

…I glimpsed his dear old Ma sitting opposite have a twinkle in her eye, a slight foot tappin’ moment and an even a singing of the chorus.

Awww…

Lovely.

Mr Mule of course was oblivious to it all, doing the rock ‘n roll thing. Still, the moment was there, and I’m sure a very proud dear old Ma went home feeling rather happy.

Just like me.

A brief break for beer and scones, care of the wonderful @Seelkram and his burgeoning Well Bread Wivenhoe business, and then we were back for more songs and dance (sort of) from the top turn of the afternoon.

Pound for pound this was poetry and pastry value for money. Where else on a hit and miss North Essex Saturday afternoon are you going mix songs, scones and shandy?

So yeah – quite a random start to the weekend. I blame the seriously strong coffee.

More of the same please, kind Sirs.

It’s a mighty long way down rock n’roll from the Royal Festival Hall, The Barbican and the Montreux Jazz Festival to… St Mary’s Church in Wivenhoe.

Blimey.

That’s the exact musical path however that local chap Chris Allard is about to take, with a homecoming concert arranged at the church for the 8th October.

I really wanted to catch up with Chris for a Wiv Chat recording as his story seems just perfect for what I am trying to capture for this project. Plus it’s not everyday that you get a personal rendition in your own kitchen by one of the country’s leading jazz guitarists.

Chris doesn’t have to play St Mary’s to help pay the bills. In fact I very much doubt that the rather generously priced £10 ticket for the St Mary’s show will cover all of the overheads involved in bringing an all star jazz band to little Wivenhoe.

Chris explained during our conversation how:

“I’m fond of Wivenhoe and I have just moved back here. We did a gig at Snape Maltings and it made sense for the band to come and stay over. They were very impressed at how lovely Wivenhoe was. We’ve been friends for ages and I just suggested that we organise a gig.”

That “we” just happens to be Jacqui Dankworth, described by The Times as “one of our finest Singers regardless of category” and Charlie Wood – nominated by Downbeat in the USA for Best Blues Album 2010 and a former keyboardist for Albert King.

Splendid though Even Song is at St Mary’s, I can’t see it competing with the appearance of an all star jazz band for one night only.

But there is so much more to the personal journey that Chris has taken leading him back to Wivenhoe, the town where he was born and grew up. Our conversation covers Millfields and the Colne schools, character building gigs in Clacton and Colchester and then the progression to the prestigious concert stages such as the Royal Festival Hall and the Barbican.

After fifteen years of the bright lights of London, Chris now finds himself settled in Wivenhoe, being able to carry on his career from his hometown base.

We also explore during the chat the logistics of a church gig. The altar area will act as a stage, the pews are perfect and the acoustics should work. What is impressive is that Chris is working with local people for promoting the show, as well as sound and events management on the night.

I have always believed that there is an appetite for jazz within Wivenhoe. The concert may just be the springboard to help resurrect the Wivenhoe Jazz Club.

Listening back to the recording for editing purposes (not a great deal to be honest) and I was struck with the absolute technical and creative brilliance of the personal performances I was privileged to be able to experience – LIVE and DIRECT from downtown Wivenhoe!

If one man and his guitar can produce such an uplifting musical delight whilst sitting in a Park Road kitchen, imagine what is possible at St Mary’s with the support of an all star band.

The concert will also feature Dudley Phillips on bass, who’s toured and recorded all over the world with artists including Bill Withers, Womack and Womack and Mark Knopfler.

Once again it really worth repeating: THIS IS COMING TO WIVENHOE!

Tickets for the show are available now at the Bookshop, priced at £10. If you are from out of town and can’t get to the Bookshop before 8th October, you can reserve them over the phone on 01206 824050. There is also a gig coming up at the Arts Center in Colchester on 13th November.

But for now, Wivenhoe can look forward to a very special night. The Royal Festival Hall, The Barbican the Montreux Jazz Festival… St Mary’s Church.

Nice.

Image copyright: Richard Allen.

There’s been a bit of a birding break around these North Essex estuary parts of late.

Pfft. Part-timers (the birds, not the charming birders.)

But yep, just as the leaves start to turn on the wisteria, the muddy banks of the Colne lose their seasonal cake layered crust, and the cat stops taking a crap outside (cripes) – it’s a sure sign that these golden days of summer are slowly, slowly coming towards a close.

Which all must mean that Richard Allen, Wivenhoe’s bird watcher extraordinaire, is polishing up his bi-focals and preparing for a winter of weekends wading around and making notes all about the migrants that are about to come our way.

The Daily Mail would descend into a fit of unwanted moral outrage if it got a whiff of any of this.

A few notes from Richard’s most recent walk:

“A lovely sunny morning with a brisk breeze. There were not too many waders to be seen, most having departed for their northern nesting grounds, but we did manage to find a Curlew two Redshanks and a few Oystercatchers and Lapwings. Lots of Shelduck were feeding out on the mud along with Black-headed Gulls, and a couple of Cormorants vied for the best wing drying perch.

The wind made viewing small birds tricky, but we did obtain good views of Linnets, and heard a variety of warblers singing from cover. In the shelter of the wood we found a group of recently fledged young Chiffchaffs, Great Tits and Long-tailed Tits foraging together. Kestrels were actively hunting, obviously with young to feed somewhere, likewise a Marsh Harrier.

More unexpected was a large dark bird of prey circling over the wood, it had me totally confused until it banked in flight to reveal a gleaming white rump patch and chestnut wings, a Harris Hawk. This is an American species commonly used in falconry and quite a frequent escapee.

Perhaps the best bird however was a rather inconspicuous grey brown bird singing its jangly song from a bramble bush, a Corn Bunting, a good summer record for the area.

Recent sightings: Two broods of Shelduck appeared from their burrow nest sites, one of twelve the other four. From late July wader number have increased and there are now lots of Godwits and Redshank, a few Greenshank and Avocets, and a scattering of Curlew and Whimbrel. Common Terns now have squeaky young following them, and it’s a good time of year to spot an Osprey passing through.

If that has whetted your appetite for wading around Wivenhoe and beyond, then Richard is running a series of guided birding walks on the following dates:

10th September, 8th November, 12th November and 10th December. All walks start at 10am outside the Sailing Club, £8 per person. Booking is required.

Meanwhile, a spectacular find of late has been George Mac’s Wivenhoe Country Diary on Radio Wivenhoe. The premise is simply to walk around the rolling fields and estuary openings, and to record all the green and good that comes the way of George.

It works on every level for what I want from a hyperlocal broadcast – genuinely local knowledge about areas and observations of which I know little, all delivered in a style that suggests that you are actually out walking with George.

There is even a listen again feature for the fledgling station, allowing for the possibility to perhaps download Country Diary, put it on your iPod, and then walk with George for real.

Woh.

In true Partridge style – possible idea for a programme: George Mac walks around with Richard Allen on a birding tour, and records the feathery friends they encounter along the way. If it is an overcast day then you could always play paper, rock, scissors.

Nope, that wouldn’t work on the radio.

I’m off to a BP Garage for a mushroom slice.

A late night Greyhound drinking session with Scoop Scarpenter last week (well, past 9pm) and the GREAT man tells me that he has a deadline of 9am for the following morning for the esteemed Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Chronicle.

I went round to the other side of the bar to buy Scoop a lager shandy, and whaddya know – faster than a hand delivered hyperlocal (ish) news publication is delivered single handedly door-to-door around the town, yer man was back bashing away at his typewriter.

And so no surprises that with the 9am deadline delivered, so is the August edition of the organ of truth and justice. I bet the lager shandy is still standing at the bar back at The Greyhound.

Having bemoaned the Brightlingsea element of the Brotherhood in previous blog posts, it gives me great pleasure to see that Wivenhoe has something of a monopoly in the latest print run.

I like to view the relationship as one in which the never the twain live in glorious isolation, joined together at the hip in the form of a hyperlocal newspaper. If Scoop were ever to scarper, then the North Essex estuary Special Relationship would be as fractured as Scoop’s right elbow after bashing out his latest copy deadline.

Four front page stories, three with a Wivenhoe angle.

First up:

Former Councillor Campaigns for a Village Green.

“A former Wivenhoe Town Councillor is leading a campaign to gain village green status for public open space in Bowes Road. The land, which covers approximately one acre and is opposite Millfields School, became the centre of controversy last year when it was discovered that Elmstead Parish Council, who own the land, planned to sell if for development.”

Greedy developers, rival councils, village maidens carrying pints of warm beer (steady) – you could almost pen a concept album around the theme.

“Now Essex County Council, who have the power to grant the land village green status, are asking for the views of local residents.”

A HUGE hurrah for former Cllr Cyril Liddy, who has been continuing his fine civic service away from the cut and the thrust of the council chamber, and is actively campaigning to grant village green status for the land opposite Millfields.

“It should be protected from development, and people have until 2nd September to make their views known to Essex County Council.”

The good (ex) Cllr has more details over here.

A glance to the right of the front page lead and we have:

Preparing for the Big Jubilee Celebrations.

Aren’t we all, Comrades, aren’t we all…

“Preparations for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee local celebrations recently started in Wivenhoe when the town council hosted a meeting of interested volunteers.

A draft programme of events has been assembled… These celebrations are expected to include street parties on 2nd June, with a ball in the evening at the William Loveless Hall [where else] a special church service on the Sunday and party in the King George V Playing Field on the Monday.”

With May Fair falling the previous weekend, I’m abstaining from cheap cider and cream scones already.

“It is hoped that the party in the park will involve all age groups and will include entertainment such as a teddy bears’ picnic, a children’s pageant and a sports day with races. Other proposals include live music from a band, with the whole event ending with a fireworks display.”

Volunteers, as ever, are required. Contact the fine Town Clerk on 822864.

And to complete the BACK OF THE NET hat trick of Wivenhoe front page leads, save the best for last with:

Fund Raising Event for Radio Wivenhoe.

Keep it brief, Jase with the fabled 5 W’s:

WHO: Radio Wivenhoe.

WHAT: um a fundraiser.

WHERE: The Greyhound – hurrah!

WHY: ‘cos hyperlocal community broadcasting is a medium that is far superior to the banal big boys on oh so many levels.

WHEN: 3rd September, 12 noon onwards.

Sorted.

And that really should be yer lot from The Chronicle for this month, with every Wivenhoe angle covered on the front page. Has the whole of Brightlingsea buggered off on holiday or something?

But nope – wait, what’s this? Editorial independence, ‘n all that, but the GREAT MAN Scoop seems to favour our part of the estuary divide with yet further wanderings and word counts all about Wivenhoe.

Blimey.

Martin Newell’s Cabaret at The Greyhound.

Not wanting to suggest that the Wivenhoe social scene evolves around Mr Mule and The Greyhound, but…

“Martin Newell, the writer and musician currently describing himself as Wivenhoe’s leading light entertainer [ACE] will be doing another Saturday afternoon cabaret-style [and then some...] performance in the Upstairs restaurant of the Greyhound pub.

Newell, whose usual stock in trade includes poems, songs, rapid-fire stories and highly-risqué jokes [mouth like a sewer, Scoop, but splendid all the same] will be dedicating one part of his act to look at Colchester’s much maligned Hythe area.”

And hurrah for that.

Anyone who caught Sir Nartin’s Upstairs event at the start of the summer will recognise the randomness and radiance from Wivenhoe’s finest. Cakes – oh yes – comes your way once again from the scrumptious Well Bread local Wivenhoe cake emporium.

W*5 etc: Sir Nartin, filth and fun, Greyhound, pleasure, 20th August, 3pm. £4 on the door.

But it’s not all about the poetry and fine pastries. I’m a firm believer that you can pace the heartbeat of a town (blimey) by the success of its sporting teams.

Hang on…

Success for Tennis Club.

We’re not talking about Brightlingsea, either:

“Wivenhoe Town Tennis Club has gone from strength to strength this summer, enjoying a very successful season. With some matches still to be played, the men’s team has secured promotion from the 2nd to the 1st Division of the Colchester and District League, while the ladies’ team has secured promotion from the 3rd to the 2nd Division.”

Golden days up at Broad Lane it seems. Make the most of those memories.

Wivenhoe Memories Exhibition.

Seamless, Jase. Seamless.

“Local maritime history will be strongly featured at the forthcoming Wivenhoe Memories Exhibition to be held later this month. Maritime history covered will date back to the late 1500′s, and there will also be a display of model boats of the Seaplane and Wivenhoe Flyer.

Also on display will be numerous old photographs of local families, plus census reports dating back to 1841. Once again this annual event will be organised by local resident John Stewart, and it will be held at the William Loveless Hall [where else] over the August Bank Holiday weekend.”

The Bakehouse gets a charming piece of advertorial on page 8. Not exactly a filler, but worthy praise for a local restaurant I continually hear great things about of late. The three-course meal for £15 is something of a filler – and a bargain.

Across the road and:

Great Entertainment at Wivenhoe’s Church Ale Festival.

There’s a tale to be told about the crack PR team that managed to position this piece of wondrous copy in The Chronicle for this month. But I think you’d probably want to hear about the Wivenhoe Church Ale instead:

“Programmes for September’s two day medieval extravaganza – The Wivenhoe Church Ale – will soon be on sale. The family friendly festival is raising money for the maintenance of St Mary’s.”

It is also packing quite a punch in coming up with a hugely ambitious schedule for the weekend of 17th and 18th September.

More over on the ACE website. Much more over on Wiv Chat with the fine Marika.

And finally…

Folk Club – no edition of the esteemed organ of truth and justice would be complete without a plug for the pipe blowers [and SO much more...] up at The Flag and their monthly get-togethers:

“A new musical group whose aim is to help to return to the community some of the many folk songs collected by Ralph Vaughan Williams, Potiphar’s Apprentices [ACE name alert] will be the guest artistes at Wivenhoe Folk Club on 1st September.”

Ya see – I never did doubt Scoop could come up with his Wivenhoe leads with less than twelve hours to go and a slightly giddy tired and emotional outlook to the evening back in The Greyhound.

See you next month. Or next week. Or maybe even tonight.

Your round.